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Today, I tried to make my mom feel better about me leaving for camp for 2 weeks by saying I wish she would come too. She took me seriously and called the camp and is now a camp counselor there. The only problem is I lied about going to the camp, and I'm really going to my boyfriend's lake house. FML

#3957207
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13597) - you deserved it (59086)

On 07/22/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by grounded4life (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was at a family dinner, which had gone into meltdown after my aunt said something sarcastic about my mother's drinking. I went out for some fresh air and stumbled about in the dark, unaware of the fact that a pool was being dug. I fell into the huge hole and lost a shoe. FML

#20067208
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13597) - you deserved it (1703)

On 09/11/2012 at 2:47am - misc - by NotDrunk (man) - United States (California)

Today, I needed to buy a new crash-helmet. I went to the motorbike shop and saw one I liked the look of. It was a bit of a tight fit, and I got my head stuck in it. I had to get the guy behind the counter to help me pull it off. My ears are still numb. FML

#18028228
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13593) - you deserved it (7331)

On 10/20/2011 at 12:05am - misc - by Helmet (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my laziness hit a new low when I sat on an unopened folding chair to avoid the effort of opening it up. FML

#20587700
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13593) - you deserved it (91633)

On 04/13/2013 at 7:22am - misc - by mets300 - United States (New York)

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

#20579781
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13593) - you deserved it (54890)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 8-year-old sister matter-of-factly said that she's going to get married before me if I don't stop wearing track pants. FML

#20462592
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13591) - you deserved it (25431)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:28pm - misc - by Kendra_Nine (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I got in an argument so intense that she left saying that we needed to spend some time apart. The argument was over what was the best PIXAR movie. FML

#12943582
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13590) - you deserved it (18768)

On 09/07/2010 at 1:00am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

#19719748
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13591) - you deserved it (26601)

On 06/02/2012 at 6:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I got an email from my professor with my grade for a paper. It said, "Solid writing, but you should have proofread your final draft more carefully." In a moment of annoyance, I typed in the reply box, "God should have proofread your FACE more carefully." My elbow hit the send button. FML

#97434
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13586) - you deserved it (57959)

On 02/21/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Texas)

Today, I found myself arguing with a 6-year-old over a game of tag. FML

#20552543
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13581) - you deserved it (29457)

On 03/20/2013 at 6:08pm - kids - by tspence - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally managed to sleep, after two days of being kept awake by the miniature floodlights my neighbors have installed to scare off burglars. Only a couple of hours into my sleep, I woke up to the sound of their car being broken into. FML

#20093571
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13576) - you deserved it (859)

On 09/29/2012 at 12:32pm - health - by firebombtimEFUCKERS (man) - United States

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. After he left my place, I realized he took my Sonicare toothbrush because he knew that I would be more upset about missing that than our relationship. He was right. I am really upset about it. FML

#20450824
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13575) - you deserved it (26613)

On 01/09/2013 at 9:37pm - love - by niki (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to log in to my computer on a projector in front of business associates at my dad's architecture firm. I typed in my username and apparently didn't hit the tab key hard enough, so I typed my password in the username box. The entire firm now knows my password is "tits123". FML

#642642
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13575) - you deserved it (66879)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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