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Today, I am going to an event where I will be meeting quite a few people who will be excellent contacts in my future career. Since I wanted to make a good impression, I did the whole makeup and grooming thing before setting out, I accidentally removed about half my left eyebrow. FML

#5776
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13766) - you deserved it (5434)

On 02/02/2009 at 8:10pm - work - by wiseoldone - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML

#2236513
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13763) - you deserved it (44528)

On 05/24/2009 at 9:44am - misc - by burned (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML

#20157652
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13763) - you deserved it (1511)

On 11/10/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by me - United States (Oregon)

Today, I killed a centipede. Now every little itch I feel, I think it's the centipede's spirit coming back to haunt me. FML

#17188633
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13759) - you deserved it (39823)

On 07/20/2011 at 8:36am - misc - by ElixirRose - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got to my underground parking garage at work and saw my boss pulling into a spot. I thought I would show him my reverse parking skills and decided to park beside him. As I was pulling in he opened his door to get out and I smashed into it, nearly running him over. FML

#488683
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13756) - you deserved it (61890)

On 03/20/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by mikej1985 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was pulled over and administered a sobriety test due to an officer's suspicion that I was driving under the influence. I was completely sober, and, apparently, I suck at driving. FML

#20401642
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13748) - you deserved it (7814)

On 12/16/2012 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was going to my prom. My mom knows I want to drink so to prevent me, she made sure I took my prescription medicine before I left. I guess her way of stopping me from drinking is killing myself If I do. FML

#15503138
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13743) - you deserved it (33204)

On 03/26/2011 at 8:26pm - health - by coolkid111 - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that trying to fit in with my crush's social circle by acting like one of the lads was a waste of time. All he does is high-five me all the time and tell me every little detail of his latest one night stands. FML

#18089379
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13740) - you deserved it (22518)

On 10/27/2011 at 3:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I had to pay my manager $10 just to take my stalker's order so I didn't have to. FML

#20087724
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13740) - you deserved it (1264)

On 09/25/2012 at 3:08am - work - by snowbell18 (woman) - United States

Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML

#18208389
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13726) - you deserved it (29675)

On 11/10/2011 at 6:40am - work - by copshop - United States (California)

Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of two years over the phone, I recieved a knock on my door. It was my now ex-girlfriend who came to seek revenge by shooting me in the balls with a paintball gun at about a three foot range. FML

#6994925
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13727) - you deserved it (47082)

On 12/28/2009 at 3:41pm - love - by lovehurts (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 8 year old son cut his own hair. He did a better job than I ever did. I'm a hairdresser. FML

#17279085
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13723) - you deserved it (26301)

On 07/27/2011 at 12:35pm - kids - by buiuuum - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was using Veet instead of shaving, so that the razor wouldn't cut up my legs. I cut myself with the plastic utensil that you're supposed to use to remove the Veet. FML

#10683891
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13713) - you deserved it (20545)

On 05/22/2010 at 3:03am - health - by knickedleg - Sent from mobile version



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