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Today, my roommate gave me a self-help book on alcoholism for my birthday. He's an alcoholic. I gave him that book around 8 months ago. FML

#6674667
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26267) - you deserved it (5027)

On 12/09/2009 at 12:29am - misc - by notalcoholic (man) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML

#19812569
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26266) - you deserved it (16564)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Shelby - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was told that my mom and her new husband have named my new born brother "Titan". FML

#1172
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26265) - you deserved it (2244)

On 01/14/2009 at 10:49pm - misc - by isthisajoke - United States (California)

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26265) - you deserved it (48230)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, I realized the guy I've been hooking up with has a daughter who is a year younger than me. As if that wasn't bad enough, I also found out she had a child of her own. I've been hooking up with a grandpa. FML

#5254272
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26263) - you deserved it (42585)

On 09/14/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by nen_00 - United States (Iowa)

Today, I'm on vacation in Japan with my brother. When he said he could speak Japanese, I guess what he really meant that he's a dumbass weeaboo who only knows the words "kawaii", "baka", "sugoi" and a few others. He ended up offending two locals so much that they beat the shit out of us. FML

#21469165
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26263) - you deserved it (3109)

On 09/16/2015 at 1:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Japan

Today, after a long and tiring day at work, I went to the movies, loaded up on soda, popcorn, and candy. I ended up falling asleep and being woken up two hours later by an usher. FML

#16732224
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26262) - you deserved it (7960)

On 06/18/2011 at 5:49pm - misc - by Stormy - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I discovered that the five-star meal that my friend treated me to last night was actually meant to be repayment of the $200 I loaned her last month. I needed that money for bills and she refuses to give me another cent. FML

#21452638
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26262) - you deserved it (2462)

On 08/06/2015 at 6:50am - money - by Full Stomach Empty Wallet - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I saw a photo on my mother-in-law's Facebook, proudly showing off the horrible job she'd done of painting her car. I sarcastically commented that I wouldn't inflict that on my worst enemy's ride. An hour later, she came by and emptied a bucket of paint over my windshield. FML

#21066687
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26261) - you deserved it (50760)

On 02/20/2014 at 4:20pm - misc - by time to lawyer up (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a crash on the highway. The police weren't yet there, so I pulled over to help because I know CPR. No one needed CPR, but I had locked myself out of my car. My roadside assist won't come to highways, so I had to get towed away in front of everyone. FML

#13245639
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26260) - you deserved it (6277)

On 09/29/2010 at 3:08am - misc - by blonde (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML

#18659966
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26260) - you deserved it (7082)

On 12/31/2011 at 1:21am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I'm spending time with my granny, with whom I'm supposed to live with for a few weeks. I've noticed that she repeats the last word of every sentence I say, and now I'm wondering how it's possible for me to now be so horrible that I want to punch a sweet 92-year-old lady in the head. FML

#18387979
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26260) - you deserved it (5420)

On 11/29/2011 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my school's theater production was canceled. Not because of budget, but because my co-star fell in love with me and asked me out. When I pointedly declined, he refused to act alongside me since it was "awkward." Everyone's blaming me for it. FML

#21498523
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26260) - you deserved it (2666)

On 11/30/2015 at 11:34am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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