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Today, I went to the gynecologist for the first time. I was so nervous that when she extended her hand to shake mine, I gave her my handbag instead. FML

#18792975
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23829) - you deserved it (3831)

On 01/13/2012 at 2:48am - health - by shellie - Reserved

Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML

#20170390
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23829) - you deserved it (3104)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:03am - love - by Chris (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

#20081762
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23828) - you deserved it (12993)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked to my car to find a window smashed in. Lucky for me, nothing was stolen. It did, however, rain all morning. FML

#7397995
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23826) - you deserved it (2024)

On 01/17/2010 at 12:45pm - misc - by russty (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to the grocery store, and I realized that all I bought was cat food and $30 worth of protein bars. Yes, I have become THAT single woman. FML

#7560718
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23826) - you deserved it (6523)

On 01/25/2010 at 12:33am - love - by Phoenix0614 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML

#18435117
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23826) - you deserved it (2715)

On 12/05/2011 at 8:21am - misc - by areyouserial - United States

Today, I overheard my soon to be step-daughter telling her friend on the phone that she hopes that me and her father's wedding is just a big joke and that he isn't really going to go through with it. I just dropped five grand on a dress and venue. She's in for a surprise. FML

#21430948
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23828) - you deserved it (2515)

On 06/24/2015 at 12:02am - love - by bummed out step monster - United States (California)

Today, I told my dad that I was going to sleep over my friends house this weekend with a few other guys to play Dungeons and Dragons. He responded with, "Oh, back in my day, me and my pals used to pick on the kids who played Dungeons and Dragons." FML

#2261901
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23821) - you deserved it (54720)

On 05/25/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by ninjawhat1337 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I stepped out for some fresh air while I waited for my clothes to dry at the laundromat. Just as I was retrieving my clothes, a disheveled-looking kid staggered over, pushed me aside, and started vomiting his guts out all over my fresh clothes. FML

#19833959
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23822) - you deserved it (1622)

On 06/23/2012 at 12:59pm - misc - by herpmonster (woman) - Italy

Today, it's my birthday. What did I get? A 12-hour work shift, after spending an almost sleepless night in a computer chair because my bed is infested with bed bugs. FML

#21439671
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23821) - you deserved it (2333)

On 07/10/2015 at 6:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while correcting essays, I spilled ketchup on a student's paper. I managed to successfully turn it into a happy smiley face but when proudly looking at the result, noticed it was right next to the big "F" that I had graded it. FML

#21352870
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23820) - you deserved it (9189)

On 02/09/2015 at 5:58pm - work - by tirf -

Today, my mum was filling out a reference for me as I work in the family business. When it came to naming two of my strengths, she asked me what to put as she couldn't think of anything. FML

#16529159
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23819) - you deserved it (4209)

On 06/06/2011 at 12:01pm - work - by surefeelslikelove (woman) -

Today, I had to ask one of my coworkers if we were supposed to return a client's teeth to her. I work at a jewellery store. FML

#21413953
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23820) - you deserved it (2038)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:02am - work - by grossedout (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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