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Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML

#13481671
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19448) - you deserved it (25909)

On 10/17/2010 at 2:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML

#19755042
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19447) - you deserved it (4911)

On 06/08/2012 at 12:36pm - health - by miss tomato (woman) - United States

Today, I got pulled over for the first time. When the officer came up to my window, I immediately burst out into tears due to nervousness. He kept asking me for my licence and registration. Hysterical, I wasn't able to comply. He arrested me for not cooperating. FML

#3783487
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19443) - you deserved it (50142)

On 07/15/2009 at 7:55pm - misc - by daisyann (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly asked for the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter came back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML

#689
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19442) - you deserved it (6999)

On 01/03/2009 at 3:38am - misc - by sm@rtie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had an awful day and angrily threw a glass at the wall. Needless to say, I didn't feel like cleaning it up, and I took a nap, intending to do it later. I thought I would remember the bits of glass everywhere when I woke up. I didn't, but my feet soon did. FML

#20838843
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19442) - you deserved it (60279)

On 08/15/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, I got some spam stating that I'd have no love life in the coming 10 years if I didn't reply to it. So, no different to the last 10 years then. FML

#19556689
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19440) - you deserved it (2395)

On 05/01/2012 at 1:14am - love - by monkeywrench (woman) - United States

Today, the gas company came to connect our stove for free. While here, they broke our hot water heater, shut it off, and issued us a hazard notice. We can fix it, but they won't be able to come back for another two weeks to turn the gas back on. We don't have any hot water until then. FML

#20072391
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19440) - you deserved it (1410)

On 09/15/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after going to the beach with my guyfriend, I thought I looked pretty good infront of him in a bikini. Later he whispered in my ear, "You have a lot of hairs sticking out of your bottom". FML

#4405675
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19437) - you deserved it (41179)

On 08/09/2009 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I told my girlfriend's father that I wanted to talk about his daughter. I then went on to tell him I was thinking about 'popping the cherry', instead of 'popping the question'. FML

#7883509
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19435) - you deserved it (11333)

On 02/04/2010 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by stoopidpoop (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

#21108224
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19433) - you deserved it (44871)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)

Today, after studying all night for an exam, I ran out to catch the bus. On my way to the bus, my hair got caught in a branch for some minutes. Thinking I'd missed the bus but thankfully didn't, I went on. A few minutes later I remembered that my exam had been postponed for 3 hours today. FML

#14133730
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19433) - you deserved it (9315)

On 12/08/2010 at 6:09pm - misc - by gudmarjoh (woman) - Iceland

Today, we received a wedding invitation from a couple who are renting an apartment from us. They haven't paid rent for several months. My father is listed as the "principal sponsor." FML

#2284
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19430) - you deserved it (1853)

On 01/23/2009 at 5:16am - money - by moronicmoroccan - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, my boyfriend humped me to the tune of the Imperial March from Star Wars. FML

#7398429
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19427) - you deserved it (5915)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by ChubbyTubby (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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