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Man or woman?

Today, during family therapy the therapist asked if I believe I'm a good parent/husband. When I said yes my two sons, my daughter and even my wife very passionately disagreed. FML

#21437483
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17) - you deserved it (8)

On 07/06/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by --- - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while lifeguarding over children at work, I started thinking about my girlfriend and got a hard on. Before I realized it, I saved a kid and then hopped out of the pool next to a 5 year old in front of my managers and a little over 50 patrons with a raging boner. My HR meeting is tomorrow. FML

#21437372
1 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9) - you deserved it (2)

On 07/06/2015 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by notacreep - United States (California)

Today, I was having a dream about Chris Pratt. Instead of having a sexy dream that I would have enjoyed, I dreamt he was a supervisor at my work. He kept telling me how much I sucked. FML

#21437326
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8697) - you deserved it (893)

On 07/06/2015 at 11:14am - intimacy - by BrittUnicorn - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while at work, a customer, who was also on his phone, rudely asked what kinds of bread we had for his sandwich. After I told him we had many different kinds to offer, he cut me off, told me to stop playing stupid, and stormed out after holding up a long line of people. FML

#21437185
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8501) - you deserved it (679)

On 07/06/2015 at 2:03am - work - by breadcrumb - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out the only reason why a friend of mine even bothered talking to me. He thought that I'd sleep with him if he was nice enough. FML

#21437177
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8599) - you deserved it (750)

On 07/06/2015 at 1:30am - intimacy - by I'm_Not_Interested - United States (Nevada)

Today, I once again asked my girlfriend about getting married, as she had previously said she would only get married once gay marriage was legal. She still said no. FML

Emma1562's comment : Your girlfriend is full of excuses

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Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML

#21437094
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11934) - you deserved it (1205)

On 07/05/2015 at 11:18pm - misc - by madisonnkelly - United States (Texas)

Steve95401's comment : At least your Dad is still interested in checking out your Mom's boobs after all these years.

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Today, I was bored of doing nothing so I decided to take my 4-year-old brother and 3 of our dogs to a school playground nearby. When we got there, one of the four of them pooped in the field. It wasn't one of the dogs. FML

#21437044
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10700) - you deserved it (889)

On 07/05/2015 at 9:48pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to a restaurant and asked for vegetarian options. They told me, "We have a chicken Caesar salad, will that work?" FML

#21436862
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11085) - you deserved it (3082)

On 07/05/2015 at 3:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months was showing me his new phone. He accidentally opened his gallery, which contains 3 photos: one of his motorcycle, one of his new game console, and a naked photo of his ex. FML

#21436861
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12230) - you deserved it (955)

On 07/05/2015 at 3:18pm - love - by wellthatsucks - United States

Zoldyck's comment : "Look, the phone came with this, and this, and- oh sh*t, I swear that came with the phone too."

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Today, I woke up with a electric dog collar on my neck. I wouldn't have noticed it until my stepfather turned the collar to the highest intensity just to wake me up. FML

#21436783
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12720) - you deserved it (959)

On 07/05/2015 at 12:26pm - misc - by izaya - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my mother found out about the psychology exam I have to take tomorrow. Before leaving for her vacation this morning, she grabbed the internet router and took it with her to "get rid of distractions". I have one day to figure out how to access this online exam without Internet. FML

#21436769
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13827) - you deserved it (931)

On 07/05/2015 at 11:51am - misc - by getting real crafty.. - United States (Maine)

Today, my idiot boss placed an expensive order for anti-bullying banners that read: "Take a stand against bullying!" This would be fine if I didn't work in a specialized school for children in wheelchairs. FML

#21436683
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12045) - you deserved it (854)

On 07/05/2015 at 5:29am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)



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