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Today, was my first experience having sex. It was also my first experience with a condom breaking. FML

#21413990
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9637) - you deserved it (1069)

On 05/22/2015 at 12:27pm - intimacy - by Vexatious - United States (North Carolina)

Roxas_hearts's comment : About 9 months and it'll be your first experience with a baby.

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Today, and for the past couple of days, my girlfriend's father has been trying to help me think of a way to propose. I decided to rehearse first, and that's how my girlfriend walked in on me "proposing" to her dad. FML

#21413982
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9115) - you deserved it (858)

On 05/22/2015 at 12:08pm - love - by SuchaDisapointment - United States

Steph_mmarie's comment : That sucks, but that's so nice of your girlfriend's father to help you out like that :D

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Today, it was hot out, so I wore shorts. My dad took one look at me and said, "Your thighs are so pale, it's like staring into the sun". FML

#21413979
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7657) - you deserved it (835)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:55am - misc - by xolaurennnn - United States

Today, I found out my mom put breast milk in my cereal until I was 7 years old. FML

#21413959
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16037) - you deserved it (1455)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:17am - health - by Anonymous - United States

dudeguybruh's comment : She wanted to be breast friends with you

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Today, I had to ask one of my coworkers if we were supposed to return a client's teeth to her. I work at a jewellery store. FML

#21413953
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12771) - you deserved it (1029)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:02am - work - by grossedout (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML

#21413860
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9765) - you deserved it (11154)

On 05/22/2015 at 3:36am - health - by missko519 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my girlfriend of a week showed me her talent: shooting milk out of her vagina across the room. Goodbye dairy products. FML

#21413854
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16343) - you deserved it (1812)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by zzarzzur (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my flatmate wears my underwear. FML

#21413767
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14750) - you deserved it (1104)

On 05/21/2015 at 10:22pm - misc - by anon - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I missed my bus. But it didn't miss me. I've been in the hospital for 8 hours with a broken leg. FML

#21413750
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17681) - you deserved it (1234)

On 05/21/2015 at 9:55pm - money - by FrickingBusDrivers (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I waited tables for the first time at my new restaurant job. I asked a group of older men what they would like. One replied, "A slice of that ass". I'm 19 and a guy. FML

#21413610
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22804) - you deserved it (2043)

On 05/21/2015 at 4:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I decided to get in shape for swimsuit season, so I went to the gym. I tried to lift a barbell up and over my head, which was fine, until I dropped it. Exercise earned me a concussion and a neck brace. FML

#21413444
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16619) - you deserved it (7592)

On 05/21/2015 at 8:22am - health - by crossfitter -

Today, I backed into an expensive SUV only minutes after my boss congratulated me for being the only employee to not wreck a company car. FML

#21413424
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21082) - you deserved it (3803)

On 05/21/2015 at 6:48am - work - by pgmonster - United States (California)



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