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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I have to wear earplugs in my own apartment because my neighbor won't turn down his music. My landlord doesn't believe me because "people with disabilities can't be rude." FML

#21343763
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5847) - you deserved it (318)

On 01/25/2015 at 12:01am - misc - by Earplugged (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom came into my room to yell at me because she thought she heard me having sex, saying I'm too young for it. I'm 23 and I wasn't having sex. The noises were from my dad watching porn in the next room. FML

#21343705
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6024) - you deserved it (422)

On 01/24/2015 at 10:26pm - intimacy - by confused (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my cousin claimed me as his girlfriend in front of his friends, even though I'm four years older than him. Then I received a text from him saying, "Please, just go with it". I had to. FML

#21343677
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9788) - you deserved it (1504)

On 01/24/2015 at 9:19pm - misc - by cousinofthecentury (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

EverestMelting's comment : Wow you're a trooper. Good on you for helping your cousin out but I honestly thought this would've taken an incest turn.

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Today, I noticed that my boyfriend's sister looks at my ass more than my boyfriend does. FML

#21343548
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9705) - you deserved it (1072)

On 01/24/2015 at 4:40pm - love - by whitebitch16 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my husband came home, drunk and with lipstick smeared on his face. When I confronted him about it, he just slurred, "Ah don't worry babe, it ain't mine." FML

#21343515
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14872) - you deserved it (1054)

On 01/24/2015 at 3:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I drove my dad to Walmart to do some shopping. His leg is still in a cast after an accident, so I helped him to the last mobility scooter. A guy whose only disability was clearly Fat-Fuck Syndrome then yelled at us, claiming he needed it more and that my dad was a faker. FML

#21343482
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15557) - you deserved it (1057)

On 01/24/2015 at 2:25pm - misc - by Elrond Hubbard (man) - United States

Zoldyck's comment : How could your dad? He clearly went through the trouble of getting a cast so that he could ride the mobility scooters as an excuse to not walk due to laziness. Shame on him.

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Today, it's been 3 months since my dog scratched my 9 year old granddaughter after she walked over and repeatedly kicked him. My daughter has disowned me and won't let me see my own grandchildren until I have my companion of 11 years "destroyed". FML

#21343453
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16762) - you deserved it (1130)

On 01/24/2015 at 1:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Giurgiu)

grajax's comment : Tell her to shut the fuck up.

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Today, my manager gave me hell for leaving the restaurant early yesterday. Guilty as charged, but only because I was rushed to the hospital after going into diabetic shock. This assmunch is convinced that I either faked it all to get off work early, or that I'd been eating our own stock. FML

#21343418
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20137) - you deserved it (1373)

On 01/24/2015 at 12:24pm - work - by Anonymous -

Today, I walked in on my mom blow-drying my grinning dad's pubes. FML

#21343357
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18627) - you deserved it (2223)

On 01/24/2015 at 9:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at dinner, my downstair's neighbors described how they can listen to most of my movements, including the buzz of my phone when I text late at night. I think all of us knew it is not my phone that vibrates at that time. FML

#21343273
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20648) - you deserved it (3140)

On 01/24/2015 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I fell asleep. He asked me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talked, saying "I'm chopping lettuce". FML

#21343098
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22606) - you deserved it (2731)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by xoragebaby - United States

Today, I saw selfies of my aunt and her friends on Facebook having a great time. They took the pictures at my mother's funeral last week. FML

#21343089
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24760) - you deserved it (1559)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML

#21343084
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22009) - you deserved it (1595)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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