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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my 16 year old son, angry because I wouldn't buy him a computer, changed all our passwords. 4 computers, 4 tablets and 5 phones. He won't give me the password and has given me an ultimatum to buy the computer or he'll put a parental lock on everything else. FML

#21404569
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2181) - you deserved it (533)

On 05/04/2015 at 3:40pm - kids - by technologylver - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got screamed at to the point of tears by a Starbucks employee for "giving an obviously fake name" to confuse one of the employees. I told her my real name. My name is Ian. FML

#21404461
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6464) - you deserved it (458)

On 05/04/2015 at 12:28pm - misc - by to_complicated_4_u - United States (New York)

Today, my little sister came up to me holding up my phone. It wouldn't be so bad if she hadn't dropped it in the toilet first. FML

#21404445
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5296) - you deserved it (416)

On 05/04/2015 at 11:39am - kids - by _Domster_46 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got yelled at for 'letting' my muddy dog jump on my cousin's wedding dress as she was getting ready. I don't own a dog and haven't since I was a kid. FML

#21404425
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13198) - you deserved it (813)

On 05/04/2015 at 10:49am - animals - by FMe - United Kingdom

CoGhostRider's comment : So the question is, "who let the dogs out?"

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Today, I found my bike that was stolen a week ago in front of someone's house. Now this wouldn't have been a problem if my husband didn't steal it to go meet with his girlfriend. FML

#21404242
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15681) - you deserved it (1039)

On 05/04/2015 at 12:04am - misc - by double trouble -

Baustigt's comment : Clearly that bicycle isn't the only thing he's riding.

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Today, I found out why my husband has been coming home from work so late. Turns out he loves to help people. Specifically female people. And by help, I mean sleep with. FML

#21403935
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17316) - you deserved it (1305)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by I pick em' good - United States

Today, I noticed my shower drain wasn't draining well. I cleaned it out, thinking it was just a rat's nest of hair. Wrong. It was an actual dead rat. FML

#21403907
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16627) - you deserved it (1211)

On 05/03/2015 at 12:55pm - misc - by umyuck - United States (Virginia)

Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it got there is one of life's great mysteries. FML

#21403757
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21356) - you deserved it (2905)

On 05/03/2015 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

KatieKoala's comment : It's almost like a thong, . . . butt floss

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Today, our new boss banned coffee from the workplace, comparing caffeine to hard drugs. His comparison may not be wrong; after two hours, I couldn't take it any more, and in between fantasising about his cold-blooded murder, I begged to be allowed just one last cup. FML

#21403720
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20497) - you deserved it (3217)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Finland

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that me switching to "super" sized tampons does not mean I've been having sex with other men with bigger penises, and that my vagina hasn't been "stretched bigger". FML

#21403711
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20918) - you deserved it (1864)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after resigning from my current job, I was let go from the new job I hadn't even started yet. FML

#21403566
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22956) - you deserved it (2128)

On 05/02/2015 at 8:08pm - work - by Jbheller (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the yearly town carnival with my friends. I hadn't slept well the night before and when I got onto the scariest ride, I somehow fell half asleep. I woke up upside down and ended up peeing myself in terror. FML

#21403515
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21522) - you deserved it (3644)

On 05/02/2015 at 5:59pm - misc - by Upside-Down Sleeper. - United States (Maryland)

Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML

#21403442
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22856) - you deserved it (2673)

On 05/02/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by gross - Canada (Ontario)



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