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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I ran a hand down my freshly shaven leg to appreciate the smoothness, only to come up with a hand covered in blood. FML

#21284649
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3786) - you deserved it (513)

On 10/24/2014 at 9:32pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband told me he cheated on me two years ago with his ex-fiancée. In the process, he got her pregnant, but said it was okay, because she didn't keep it. FML

#21284646
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4447) - you deserved it (291)

On 10/24/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was waiting at a traffic light next to an ice cream van. The man in it turned to me and winked, making sexual hand gestures. I felt my childhood die horribly as I watched. FML

#21284616
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7800) - you deserved it (617)

On 10/24/2014 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, after my first day at work at a local daycare, I found out that I'm not entitled to breaks because I'm the only worker there who doesn't smoke. My boss asked me, ''What do you need a break for?'' FML

#21284495
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20156) - you deserved it (1393)

On 10/24/2014 at 4:52pm - work - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

iAmPaul's comment : Report him. You're just as entitled to a break as everyone else.

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Today, I'm horribly out of shape. My arms are sore, almost like I'd been doing heavy lifting yesterday. Nope. It just was from squeezing cupcake icing out of a tube. FML

Today, someone stole my coat. I can only imagine their surprise when they find the $3,000 engagement ring I bought earlier. FML

#21284412
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22610) - you deserved it (1707)

On 10/24/2014 at 1:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while reading 1984 on the train, a cute guy around my age and I got into a great a discussion about the book. Just when I thought he might ask for my number, he got up, patted me on the head and said it's so nice that kids my age still took interest in real literature. I'm 25. FML

#21284324
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23890) - you deserved it (1848)

On 10/24/2014 at 9:47am - misc - by anonymous - Austria (Wien)

milky2321's comment : life of a baby face.

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Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22985) - you deserved it (6277)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

JMichael's comment : Did you still have fun with it?

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Today, I got approached by a lady while eating at a fast-food restaurant who asked if I could spare five dollars. Confidently, I pulled out my wallet to show her that I had no cash, only to reveal a perfectly crisp five dollar bill that I had completely forgotten about. FML

#21284180
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20877) - you deserved it (9862)

On 10/24/2014 at 1:02am - money - by Yeah (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my best friend and I, after years of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in my head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML

#21284031
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22258) - you deserved it (3715)

On 10/23/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was the weird girl on the city bus who falls asleep then makes a loud, weird noise and wakes herself up. FML

#21284017
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21261) - you deserved it (2797)

On 10/23/2014 at 9:05pm - misc - by pyrogypsy (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my wife got a new best-friend. It's my ex-wife. FML

#21283962
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25960) - you deserved it (2448)

On 10/23/2014 at 7:30pm - love - by max - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

#21283844
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27707) - you deserved it (2172)

On 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by Alexismaria - United States



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Friday 24 October 2014

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