Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was rock climbing. I had my equipment on and I saw a really cute girl. I went for the hardest climb in the gym, and while jumping up to grab the rock, I simultaneously farted, missed the rock, fell to the mat and broke my arm in the process. FML

#21303024
3 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88) - you deserved it (44)

On 11/20/2014 at 10:25pm - misc - by AOart1st (man) - United States (California)

Today, I dropped my trash into what I thought was a garbage can. My co-workers stared at me like I had just pissed myself. It was a toy collection box for children in foster care. FML

#21302935
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1074) - you deserved it (314)

On 11/20/2014 at 7:43pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML

#21302927
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4032) - you deserved it (234)

On 11/20/2014 at 7:29pm - work - by spreadburger - United States (Florida)

Today, a girl said to me, "Sorry, but I have a boyfriend". I hadn't said anything to her. FML

#21302926
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3778) - you deserved it (307)

On 11/20/2014 at 7:27pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I knocked an old-school slide carousel off my desk, scattering nearly 100 individual slides everywhere, including the specific slides my professor asked me to digitally scan, which were placed carefully on top. None of them are numbered. FML

#21302910
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3448) - you deserved it (720)

On 11/20/2014 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I slipped on a wet floor at the supermarket and busted my nose. It wouldn't be as embarrassing if I hadn't missed the "CAUTION: WET FLOOR" sign that I'd put there myself just 30 minutes earlier. FML

#21302796
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13925) - you deserved it (3975)

On 11/20/2014 at 3:45pm - health - by fark (woman) - Ireland

Today, my boss said he's worried about our network, because "Wifi's all in the air. People could spy on us from anywhere!" I sarcastically said "My god, you're right!" and suggested switching to tin-foil ethernet cables to stop the signal escaping. He told me to do it ASAP. This moron makes five times my salary. FML

#21302784
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15783) - you deserved it (1692)

On 11/20/2014 at 3:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Joshery's comment : Maybe you should ask for a raise, he might be stupid enough to give it to you

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Today, I've tried to have a quiet jack off four times, only for my dad to knock on my bedroom door within seconds and say "STOP IT." every single time. Now I'm too paranoid to even function. FML

#21302766
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15909) - you deserved it (3864)

On 11/20/2014 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by fuck fof and die dad (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

michaelm1290's comment : Tell your dad to beat it.

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Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML

#21302695
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15916) - you deserved it (1210)

On 11/20/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML

#21302690
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19834) - you deserved it (2080)

On 11/20/2014 at 11:20am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

DocBastard's comment : "Oh I'm on the menu, sir. You just can't afford me."

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Today, it took a whole half hour of scratching my head before I realized with horror that the weird tickling sensation I'd been feeling was actually a spider crawling around in my hair. FML

#21302674
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19517) - you deserved it (1687)

On 11/20/2014 at 10:23am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that I ran out of deodorant. On top of that, I was late to work so I had to run, making me all sweaty and smelly. To cover it up, I used the air-freshener in the toilet at work. Everyone recognized the "Lemon Tree" scent and now all of my colleagues think I'm a cheap bastard. FML

#21302617
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17957) - you deserved it (4013)

On 11/20/2014 at 6:32am - health - by LemonTree (man) - Hungary

Today, my friendly neighbor asked me to check in on his apartment every few days while he's gone on vacation. You can imagine my horror when I walked in for the first time and found out he's a snake breeder. Twelve more days to go. FML

#21302388
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20920) - you deserved it (2162)

On 11/19/2014 at 9:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



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Friday 14 November 2014

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