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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boss found me on a dating app. He found it perfectly acceptable to message me and didn't understand why I wasn't comfortable with it. He now wants to have a meeting with me about inappropriate behavior outside of work. FML

#21463971
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6690) - you deserved it (463)

On 09/02/2015 at 11:37pm - work - by ihatemyjob - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I discovered that my 100-pound Rottweiler is absolutely terrified of (drumroll please) orange peels. Yup. A byproduct of my lunch will turn this hulking monolith with teeth into a whimpering puddle of pee. FML

#21463927
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7386) - you deserved it (585)

On 09/02/2015 at 10:30pm - animals - by pansypup - United States (New Mexico)

Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML

#21463909
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9114) - you deserved it (496)

On 09/02/2015 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my idiot kid brother set my shirt on fire with a magnifying glass while I was taking a nap outside. FML

#21463887
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10182) - you deserved it (969)

On 09/02/2015 at 8:32pm - kids - by girl on fire (woman) -

Today, I had yet another debilitating migraine that kept me awake. In the middle of the night, I heard an owl hooting. Thinking it was cool, I moved closer to the open window to hear better. After a few minutes, I realized it was actually my new neighbor having loud sex. My aunt moved in next door. FML

#21463837
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10458) - you deserved it (767)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:52pm - intimacy - by Hooty (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I brought home a new small glass necklace and put it somewhere I figured that the cats couldn't reach. I was wrong. Now I will be looking through kitty litter to find something smaller than a dime. Talk about needle in a haystack. FML

#21463835
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8730) - you deserved it (1323)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:39pm - animals - by Shay (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother called me a slut and unladylike because I prefer beer instead of wine. Apparently, beer's only for "unladylike sluts". FML

#21463833
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10419) - you deserved it (934)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:37pm - misc - by BeerSlut (woman) - Portugal (Vila Real)

Today, after the doctor poking around my urethra and vagina at a lump. She turns to me and says, "I'm going to be honest, I have no idea what that is. Have some antibiotics and we'll see how it goes in two weeks." Excuse me while I go panic in a corner. FML

#21463826
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10497) - you deserved it (649)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:10pm - health - by freakingout (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

leogachi's comment : Go see another doctor. While doctors can't know everything, it was still really stupid of her to tell you to just take antibiotics for a few weeks and "see how it goes".

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Today, I agreed to stay a week with my wife's parents, who she told me were traditional Japanese. I was prepared for having to wear Japanese clothes while in the house, but I wasn't prepared for communal bathing in the same huge bath with her father, grandfather, uncle and two brothers. FML

#21463801
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10829) - you deserved it (1053)

On 09/02/2015 at 4:13pm - misc - by Alan (man) - Germany

creatureman's comment : It's a way to learn their culture. While it may have been a surprise, her family might welcome you even more for being part of their custom.

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Today, someone left sticky notes with inspirational messages on everyone's locker. Well, almost everyone. My locker was the only one without a note. FML

#21463756
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10042) - you deserved it (837)

On 09/02/2015 at 2:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally got the results of months of extensive psychological testing to determine why I did so well in my course but performed so terribly on the job. Turns out I'm autistic. FML

#21463718
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11040) - you deserved it (751)

On 09/02/2015 at 11:41am - work - by Anonymous - Australia

kandysnow's comment : That's nothing to be ashamed of,OP! You're still clearly very intelligent. :-) I'm sure you will do great with more training/practice. Don't give up!

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Today, I let my 9-year-old daughter use my tablet while I made her dinner. A few minutes later, she let out a blood-curdling scream. Turned out she'd searched for My Little Pony pictures and stumbled upon a drawing of Rainbow Dash giving another pony a blowjob. FML

#21463707
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17503) - you deserved it (2893)

On 09/02/2015 at 11:26am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I've been calling my girlfriend by her nickname for so long, I had to reactivate my Facebook account to find her real name. FML

#21463691
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7790) - you deserved it (16273)

On 09/02/2015 at 9:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - India (Tamil Nadu)



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