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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML

#20682049
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14230) - you deserved it (1189)

On 05/23/2013 at 4:11pm - misc - by eric4 (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML

#20681811
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13499) - you deserved it (910)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Buzau)

Today, my girlfriend actually yelled, "Why are you making this all about YOU?!" after I confronted her over cheating on me. FML

#20681698
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13773) - you deserved it (773)

On 05/23/2013 at 12:40pm - love - by a single fuck (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, one of my closest friends informed me that she wasn't going to invite me to her wedding, because I'm too shy and not enough fun, and she doesn't want her 200 or so guests to feel uncomfortable. I was the one who set the happy couple up. FML

#20681501
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31198) - you deserved it (2096)

On 05/23/2013 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

nightowl713's comment : I know it hurts, but I wouldn't go even if she change her mind. She obviously doesn't consider you as close a friend, as you do her.

See all the comments →

Today, in preparation for a third interview for my dream job, I spent an hour selecting the perfect outfit. I hung everything on my bedroom door and went to shower. My dog decided to play tug-of-war with the clothing and redesign the shoes. The only thing to survive unscathed was the hanger. FML

#20681337
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20406) - you deserved it (3636)

On 05/23/2013 at 6:52am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got a call from work stating that my employment was being terminated. This was after being suspended while they investigated my sexual harassment claim. Their reason for firing me: misuse of company time. Yes, I suppose reporting being sexually harassed is a huge waste of time. FML

#20681249
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26114) - you deserved it (2482)

On 05/23/2013 at 3:24am - work - by Anonymous - United States

olpally's comment : This is definitely grounds for a lawsuit. Wow.

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Today, I was ditched by the guy I flew over two thousand miles to see. His excuse? "I'm just tired. I want to go home and sleep" Later, he checked in at a bar right down the street from the hotel on Facebook. FML

#20681237
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22390) - you deserved it (2829)

On 05/23/2013 at 3:13am - love - by phoenixditch - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finally scored a goal in a soccer game. Too bad it was in our own net. FML

#20681164
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17099) - you deserved it (21292)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML

#20681121
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28157) - you deserved it (1711)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by Mylifesucks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32688) - you deserved it (2433)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Sir_ND_Pity's comment : I say let him try it. He'll see how far his swag will take him. Life lessons.

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Today, a friend was put on suicide watch when her parents wouldn't pay $500 for a premium senior picture package. FML

Today, I confronted my boss to find out why I was denied a promotion that she promised to me. Her response? "You should know by now I'm a liar. Not my fault if you believe the things I say." FML

#20680205
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22041) - you deserved it (1890)

On 05/22/2013 at 5:48pm - work - by Snurkles McGee (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure ahead of my cousin's wedding. The woman doing my nails asked if I wanted my toe hairs trimmed. I was so taken aback and embarrassed that I said yes. They charged me extra. FML

#20679773
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26117) - you deserved it (8960)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by hobbit - United States (Massachusetts)



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