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Today, during a driving lesson, I stopped behind a taxi, and got more and more annoyed when the traffic wouldn't move. A few minutes later, my instructor couldn't hold his laughter any more and pointed out I'd somehow zoned out and entered a taxi rank. FML

#21414941
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3944) - you deserved it (924)

On 05/24/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by kalvin (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, my new doctor asked if I'm sexually active. I said no. He nodded and murmured "No surprise there." Thanks, mate. FML

#21414914
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4372) - you deserved it (380)

On 05/24/2015 at 11:56am - misc - by Mona Lisa was a skank-ass ho (man) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, I woke up to my little sister strangling me. My parents accused me of making the red marks on my throat myself to exaggerate how bad it was. She's just "going through a phase", they say, and I'm a bad person for punching her to get her off me. FML

#21414899
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14296) - you deserved it (822)

On 05/24/2015 at 11:15am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

irish_lad's comment : Your sister and parents need some serious help if they don't believe you and accusing you of doing stupid shit. I would leave as soon as you get a chance

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Today, I kept getting out of bed because I was sure my daughter had pooped in her diaper. Every time, I found nothing. I finally figured out the foul smell was my husband's breath, when he leaned into kiss me goodnight. FML

#21414880
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11969) - you deserved it (1029)

On 05/24/2015 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I felt pretty. As I deal with a severe anxiety and depression, I was proud of myself. All until a little girl asked: "Are you a boy or a girl?" FML

Today, I sleep during the day because I work nights. My neighbors have a very loud wedding and reception in their backyard including a live mariachi band. FML

#21414664
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16641) - you deserved it (1920)

On 05/23/2015 at 10:38pm - misc - by Vlen (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I missed the spider but succeeded in keying my own car. FML

#21414635
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10275) - you deserved it (13725)

On 05/23/2015 at 8:58pm - animals - by uwotm8 - Australia (Victoria)

WCARlover's comment : ..,did you really think killing a spider that was on your car with your keys wasn't a terrible idea? YDI

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Today, while serving a customer, she told me: "God made you a working class citizen so you could serve! If God wanted you to go to college, he would have made sure you were able to go!" FML

ThirteenThirteen's comment : I'm guessing God made her an annoying bitch too?

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Today, my cat has decided she can't eat unless I'm right there with her, so when she gets hungry she finds me and howls until I follow her to her food dish. She likes to eat pretty frequently, and I'm already getting a headache. FML

Today, my father passed away. I called my boss to let him know about the situation. His only response before hanging up: "Shit, dude. Well, I'll see you in the morning, these reports won't write themselves." FML

#21414400
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21825) - you deserved it (1203)

On 05/23/2015 at 10:50am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML

#21414342
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17907) - you deserved it (2107)

On 05/23/2015 at 7:06am - kids - by DENTALITY (woman) - Norway

Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML

#21414323
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18787) - you deserved it (1850)

On 05/23/2015 at 3:51am - kids - by DaoOfPow (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML

#21414312
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20886) - you deserved it (1610)

On 05/23/2015 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



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