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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I decorated my boyfriend's house for Christmas as a surprise, just in time for him and his family to come home. Also just in time for him to tell me he's Jewish. FML

#21322002
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5597) - you deserved it (1699)

On 12/22/2014 at 10:04am - love - by cwhitney7 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out I was the top ranking sales person for 2014. What did last year's winner receive? An all-expenses paid weekend holiday. What did I receive? A ham. I'm vegetarian. FML

#21321989
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5934) - you deserved it (598)

On 12/22/2014 at 9:24am - work - by Bahhumbug (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML

#21321894
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6290) - you deserved it (988)

On 12/22/2014 at 3:05am - love - by ScottyB - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, immediately after being informed of the sketchy activities that take place in our store parking lot after dark, I'm handed an orange vest and told to go out there to retrieve carts. FML

#21321892
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5500) - you deserved it (466)

On 12/22/2014 at 2:53am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I waited thirty minutes for a bus that stopped running three weeks ago. FML

#21321887
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6475) - you deserved it (1344)

On 12/22/2014 at 2:45am - misc - by Stupid - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, since it's company policy, I had to go to the back of my small store to retrieve an item for a customer, even though I was working by myself. I came back to find that since she couldn't get into the cash register, she found and stole my purse instead. FML

#21321861
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9178) - you deserved it (885)

On 12/22/2014 at 1:25am - misc - by Retailhell (woman) - United States

Today, my boss sent me a link on how to write a good resignation letter. FML

#21321621
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12901) - you deserved it (1105)

On 12/21/2014 at 5:02pm - misc - by scoold - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my school textbook's back cover ripped off. Not wanting to have my teacher find out, I glued the cover back together. Only after the glue dried did I realize that I actually glued the back cover upside down. FML

#21321598
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9550) - you deserved it (9386)

On 12/21/2014 at 4:15pm - misc - by WhoopsieDaisie (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss' new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off". She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML

#21321539
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21720) - you deserved it (2306)

On 12/21/2014 at 2:08pm - work - by anonix (man) - Canada

Kazze's comment : "Have you tried reinstalling windows?" "My disc drive is in 17 pieces, what the fuck do YOU think?"

See all the comments →

Today, I noticed that even though I got all my Christmas shopping done a month earlier than usual, I forgot to put anything in the mail. FML

#21321340
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18393) - you deserved it (5244)

On 12/21/2014 at 3:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. As things got heated, he broke down crying. I assumed it was just anxiety so I hugged him and told him it's alright and that it didn't matter, we'd try another time. Half an hour later, he confessed that he's actually gay. FML

ihpp's comment : just be supportive. you may be the first person he's told.

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Today, I was at an outdoors Christmas party and I jokingly complained that my son says 'mama' way more than he says 'dada'. One of my students was at the party and watched him for a couple of hours. He taught him to say 'dada' every time he sees a bug. FML

#21321325
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17670) - you deserved it (2818)

On 12/21/2014 at 2:59am - kids - by paparoach (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, as I was saying bye to my girlfriend, I said "see ya later, alligator." She took offense because she thought I called her ugly. FML

#21321170
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21984) - you deserved it (2677)

On 12/20/2014 at 10:37pm - love - by sexualpopcorn - United States (California)



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