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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, a guy told me I "kind of look like a girl" if he looked at me from the right angle. Well, I am a girl, and this is the closest thing to a compliment that I've gotten in years. FML

#21262383
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2789) - you deserved it (242)

On 09/21/2014 at 10:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4298) - you deserved it (564)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9417) - you deserved it (2348)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

fearlesscooldude's comment : That is actually pretty hilarious, sorry that you lost your morning pleasures though :)

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Today, I had to stop at a gas station to go to the bathroom. A sign on the door told people to knock since the door didn't lock. As I was peeing, a lady walked in on me. Rather than simply saying sorry and shutting the damn door, she opened it wider and stepped in to apologize. FML

#21262000
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12852) - you deserved it (875)

On 09/20/2014 at 7:39pm - misc - by rabid_otaku - United States (Illinois)

Today, I looked up my childhood bully on Facebook, hoping she'd gone fat and ugly. Turns out she's drop-dead gorgeous and very successful. FML

#21261760
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31259) - you deserved it (6652)

On 09/20/2014 at 11:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

granCanyon's comment : FYL because you're still wasting time thinking about the past instead of moving on.

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Today, my boyfriend has chipped his front teeth for the third time in 2 months. After refusing to tell me how this keeps on happening, I walked in on him throwing his phone in the air and trying to catch it in his mouth. FML

#21261750
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23981) - you deserved it (2419)

On 09/20/2014 at 11:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend asked me when I was going to shave my arms now that summer is coming in Australia. FML

#21261696
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21225) - you deserved it (3764)

On 09/20/2014 at 8:23am - love - by chubbyg - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML

#21261625
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22358) - you deserved it (3374)

On 09/20/2014 at 2:54am - misc - by pasquale - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while giving directions to a blind guy, I accidentally made him walk into a wall. FML

#21261532
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22956) - you deserved it (5472)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:14pm - misc - by camerashyguy - United States (Texas)

Liamj774's comment : I bet you didn't see that one coming

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Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML

#21261512
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24924) - you deserved it (2319)

On 09/19/2014 at 10:27pm - misc - by failingdaily - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, I was hit with a sudden onset of diarrhea and had to use the washroom on the train. As soon as I pulled down my pants, my worst nightmare came true, as someone opened the door and exposed me to the other passengers. FML

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

#21261392
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27528) - you deserved it (2430)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)

Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML

#21261280
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25844) - you deserved it (9395)

On 09/19/2014 at 2:34pm - kids - by hypercrite dad (man) - United Kingdom



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