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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, after seven people at work approaching me and asking me if I was 'that lad from the paper', I picked one up to see what they were talking about. Turns out my doppelganger is a man who brutally murdered his older brother last year. FML

#21367159
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1858) - you deserved it (112)

On 03/03/2015 at 9:01am - misc - by definatelynotamurderer (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I noticed that my son was less excited about losing a tooth than normal. I asked him what was wrong, he said, "Tyler told me that the tooth fairy died yesterday in a car accident." To which Tyler replied, "You're welcome." FML

#21367147
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2196) - you deserved it (178)

On 03/03/2015 at 8:14am - kids - by Mommycakes (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I walked 20 minutes in rain, winds that almost knocked me over, and face-fulls of stinging hailstones. Less than a minute after I finally got inside, the weather cleared up, the sun came out, and a rainbow appeared. FML

#21367104
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4381) - you deserved it (368)

On 03/03/2015 at 5:41am - misc - by Banana_Lord - United Kingdom (Fife)

Today, I have been at my new job for almost a month and still have no idea what I'm doing. FML

#21367094
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5103) - you deserved it (1828)

On 03/03/2015 at 5:15am - work - by soconfused (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8089) - you deserved it (1465)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

GOtllt's comment : Ruined? You mean enhanced?

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Today, I saw a person in my class completing a project that was due two periods later and that they had just started in the bathroom. They got a better grade than me. FML

#21366872
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7502) - you deserved it (1158)

On 03/02/2015 at 9:43pm - misc - by Anomaly - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it's been almost 2 months since I moved into my new place, and it's the first time a girl has slept in my bed. I also slept on my new couch for the first time. FML

#21367098
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8956) - you deserved it (1267) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/02/2015 at 9:03pm - love - by Marc (man) - Hong Kong

Today, I got a new job and told everyone about it. A few hours later, I got an email from the executive saying I actually don't have the job anymore. FML

#21366823
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9360) - you deserved it (817)

On 03/02/2015 at 8:42pm - work - by dontplaywithmyfeelings - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML

#21366785
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8102) - you deserved it (4152)

On 03/02/2015 at 7:48pm - misc - by Microtron - United States (Ohio)

Today, I noticed my ex was feeling down. We ended things on good terms and I've been wanting to start things up again, so I figured I'd bring him dinner to cheer him up and maybe hang out. Looks like him and his one night stand get to eat my home cooked food while I go home to Netflix. FML

Today, I was demoted as a bridesmaid in a wedding because I dyed my hair, and didn't ask permission from the bride to do so. The bride is my sister. FML

Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

#21366627
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8522) - you deserved it (32029)

On 03/02/2015 at 3:40pm - health - by teapotrevolt - Canada (Manitoba)

rocketgurl's comment : OP: 0 Jogger: 1

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Today, after many tests and doctor visits, I finally found out the reason for my flu-like symptoms isn't a vitamin deficient or anything. The damn tea I drink every morning makes me feel sick. FML

Sandsh8rk's comment : Lools like the tea product you bought isn't quali-tea.

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