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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got to see my best friend for the first time in months. Her first reaction was to say, "Wow, you gained a lot of weight." I actually lost a fair bit. FML

#21364630
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2901) - you deserved it (190)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:14pm - misc - by boyishgirl - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was feeling terrible so I called in sick to work. My boss refused to believe me and told me he'd fire me if I didn't come in. I dragged myself to work, only to spend most of the day glued to the toilet. Now he says I won't be paid for the day because I barely did any work. FML

#21364599
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3086) - you deserved it (176)

On 02/27/2015 at 1:24pm - health - by Mark (man) - Malta

Today, I won a pool game against some guy. His friends started mocking him for getting his ass whooped by a pregnant girl who couldn't even lean over the table. He got mad, swung his pool stick at them, missed, and hit me right in the face. FML

#21364532
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3121) - you deserved it (187)

On 02/27/2015 at 10:29am - misc - by MCForty (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend and I were talking about times we'd made our mothers cry. She said she'd only made her mother cry once. When I asked when, she said, "When I told her I was thinking about dating you." FML

#21364495
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13030) - you deserved it (1046)

On 02/27/2015 at 9:13am - love - by shoggoth_wild - United States (Mississippi)

Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML

#21364342
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13118) - you deserved it (2281)

On 02/27/2015 at 12:28am - intimacy - by milked (woman) - United States

Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML

MELKOZAR's comment : They owe you 29 years.

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Today, my boyfriend and I broke up because we got into a fight over what color that confusing black and blue and white and gold dress was. FML

#21364239
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16418) - you deserved it (9577)

On 02/26/2015 at 10:07pm - love - by confused - United States (Wisconsin)

_kyleG_'s comment : YDI for letting something so trivial become such a huge issue. Priorities, OP.

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Today, the neighbors called the cops because they heard "gun shots". My girlfriend and I were popping bubble wrap. FML

#21364157
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15594) - you deserved it (1203)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:35pm - misc - by We're still popping them - United States (California)

Today, the doctor let me know I have an autoimmune disease. The disease results in ulcers in my colon which bleed when I poop. I cried, but only when I was told that I wouldn't be allowed to eat cheese anymore. FML

#21364143
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15927) - you deserved it (1433)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:20pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

sarah2144's comment : I'd cry too, man. Cheese is better than sex. Sorry for your loss.

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Today, I was doing laundry, so I decided to wash my cat's blanket. He chased me down the stairs into the basement, and I slightly closed the door behind me so he wouldn't follow me. He pushed the door shut, which automatically locks. I was trapped down there for 3 hours until my mom came home. FML

#21364131
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13770) - you deserved it (2731)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:08pm - animals - by jynxisadouchebag - United States (California)

Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML

#21364034
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18912) - you deserved it (8414)

On 02/26/2015 at 4:17pm - misc - by MuteNToot (man) -

Today, my mom told me she'd canceled my spring break trip to Europe for my 16th birthday. Why? So I could get my wisdom teeth pulled 2 months early. FML

#21363900
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21109) - you deserved it (3261)

On 02/26/2015 at 11:18am - health - by gatewayev700 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my son likes to pee in the shower. He stated, "It's okay because dad pees in the sink!" I'm living with a bunch of bears. FML

#21363816
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23855) - you deserved it (3615)

On 02/26/2015 at 6:24am - kids - by showerlover (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

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