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Today, I had my midterm finals for AP Literature. My teacher had good news and bad news for us. The bad news? That he lost the file for our original exam and so had to make a harder exam for us. An exam he told us not to study for. The good news? "Jesus Christ suffered and died for our sins." FML

#21319606
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1914) - you deserved it (164)

On 12/18/2014 at 7:11am - misc - by Overachieving Loser (woman) - Guam

Today, my mother-in-law asked for a copy of my son's death certificate so she could have her week-long island beach holiday classed as bereavement leave. FML

#21319326
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15057) - you deserved it (739)

On 12/17/2014 at 7:48pm - misc - by drbckflps (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

AU_Lovebird's comment : That's horrible:( I'm sorry for your loss!

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Today, half of my motivation to stop drinking is so that my tolerance will go down, because I currently can't actually afford enough alcohol to get even tipsy anymore. FML

#21319263
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8951) - you deserved it (3911)

On 12/17/2014 at 5:41pm - health - by Recovering Alcoholic - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML

#21319192
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21300) - you deserved it (1310)

On 12/17/2014 at 3:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Liyuesigs's comment : Which pain is worse? Your wife or the appendix?

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Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML

#21319149
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16466) - you deserved it (3042)

On 12/17/2014 at 1:47pm - misc - by RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, after finally finishing a huge internal rebranding project at work, which I've poured blood, sweat and tears into over the last 12 months, I found out we're being acquired by another company and that our new brand will no longer exist. FML

#21319043
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17004) - you deserved it (1101)

On 12/17/2014 at 8:43am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I decided to splurge and get valet parking at a fancy restaurant. I got out of the car and gave the man my keys and watched as he slowly backed my car into another car. FML

#21319039
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21643) - you deserved it (1981)

On 12/17/2014 at 8:33am - misc - by seriously - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a toaster and a fork as a wedding gift. FML

#21318970
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20651) - you deserved it (1827)

On 12/17/2014 at 2:35am - love - by monster in law. - United States

Today, my 6-year-old son asked me what a "sex toy" was. Not really knowing what to tell him, I said it was a game. He's asked for one for Christmas. FML

#21318917
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19446) - you deserved it (6386) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/17/2014 at 12:29am - intimacy - by marie0908 - France (Aquitaine)

lumisokaisi's comment : Fun for the whole family!

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Today, my boss heard a rumor that I was in a relationship with a fellow co-worker. He assured me that inside relationships weren't against any store policy, so I confirmed it. He then fired my boyfriend anyway. FML

#21318814
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21278) - you deserved it (3267)

On 12/16/2014 at 10:31pm - work - by thankssomuch - United States (Maine)

Today, a student's mother sent me an e-mail complaining that I was requiring her child to read a book containing mild profanity. She then demanded me to let him read an easier book. This would've been somewhat acceptable if the student wasn't in the 12th grade. FML

#21318762
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22824) - you deserved it (1709)

On 12/16/2014 at 9:11pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

#21318752
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23557) - you deserved it (4564)

On 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by justjoking - United States

Today, I got a new downstairs neighbor. Herpes. FML

#21318606
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17465) - you deserved it (22746)

On 12/16/2014 at 4:04pm - health - by fuck - Norway (Buskerud)



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