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Today, I read my 10-year-old sister's diary. That's how I found out about her disturbingly detailed plan to murder me, make it look like suicide, date my boyfriend after helping him get over my death, then marry him. FML

#21395572
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8801) - you deserved it (1016)

On 04/18/2015 at 3:01am - kids - by Anonymus (woman) - Sweden

Today, I got into an argument with my racist brother after he opened his god damn stupid mouth in front of my girlfriend. He actually tried to convince me that he's not a racist, because one of his favorite types of porn is black girls getting fucked by white guys. FML

#21395531
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7361) - you deserved it (667)

On 04/18/2015 at 12:57am - misc - by assault and imnotracistbuttery (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to have a cervical biopsy. The doctor said I would feel slight cramping as she scraped cells from inside the cervix. I guess by "slight cramping" she meant I would shit, throw up, and then pass out. FML

#21395495
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12861) - you deserved it (831)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:15pm - health - by khaoslife - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my fiancé freaked when he noticed the tattoo on my wrist, and demanded to know when I got it. It was two years before we even started dating. FML

#21395494
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11806) - you deserved it (878)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:12pm - love - by pandapantsMD (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

xluciferx666's comment : Sounds like a regular game of cards to me

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Today, I was cuddling in bed with my boyfriend when he started squeezing me as if I were a ketchup bottle. He said he wanted my period to end quicker, and he honestly thought that would work. FML

#21395407
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14870) - you deserved it (1315)

On 04/17/2015 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by dontsqueezemepls - New Zealand (Auckland)

Calingaladha's comment : Obviously that wouldn't work. You have to smack the bottom until it all comes out.

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Today, I coughed so hard that I fractured two ribs. FML

#21395325
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16611) - you deserved it (1271)

On 04/17/2015 at 5:47pm - health - by rachlette (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was playing Monopoly with my extended family. When my wife came home, she kicked me out of the game and took all my money and property. When I said she couldn't do that, she said "Sure I can. It's called divorce." Everyone laughed. Now I'm bored as hell, watching everyone else play. FML

#21395300
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16180) - you deserved it (1890)

On 04/17/2015 at 4:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Vidrill's comment : Well, maybe if you wanted to keep playing, you should have put your foot down?

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Today, my boss showed me a two-page letter from a customer, complaining about me because I couldn't honor a coupon that expired in 2009. He agreed that I did the right thing by refusing it, but said it would be a black mark on my record anyway due to the complaint. FML

#21395274
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15632) - you deserved it (916)

On 04/17/2015 at 3:50pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina

Today, my husband accidentally erased some pictures from our hard drive. No worries, nothing major: just everything from our wedding and the birth of our first child. FML

#21395232
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22710) - you deserved it (2408)

On 04/17/2015 at 2:15pm - misc - by testom - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, my roommate and I are so broke, we resorted to going to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting just for the refreshments. FML

#21395180
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19627) - you deserved it (2568)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:50am - money - by jamongrande - United States (California)

Today, while mowing my backyard, I carelessly ran over a fire ant hill. Thousands of tiny stinging insects blowing towards you while you're wearing shorts and a t-shirt is definitely not fun. FML

#21395171
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18061) - you deserved it (3234)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:27am - health - by Mitchellbassists (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got banned from my favourite online video game for calling a person on my team a "Baked Potato". FML



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