Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was watching porn, and ended up bawling because the girl on the video looked like my ex. FML

#21399752
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (739) - you deserved it (171)

On 04/26/2015 at 12:05am - intimacy - by montanadinosaur (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while out walking with my son in a stroller, a couple passed by and the girl smiled sweetly at him. It made me really happy, until we passed and I heard her say "What? You're supposed to smile at babies, even if they look weird." FML

#21399622
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (725) - you deserved it (59)

On 04/25/2015 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was bitten by a therapy dog. FML

#21399578
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4550) - you deserved it (483)

On 04/25/2015 at 4:42pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for public sex. FML

#21399557
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5628) - you deserved it (402)

On 04/25/2015 at 4:05pm - love - by RBergman - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "God" told her to. I guess "God" didn't have any problems with me buying dinner first. FML

#21399506
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7593) - you deserved it (576)

On 04/25/2015 at 1:55pm - love - by wil - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I orgasmed in front of someone for the first time. Too bad it was my dad who didn't knock before coming in. FML

#21399489
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8297) - you deserved it (1147)

On 04/25/2015 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

KK3137's comment : So I guess you both came in the wrong place at the wrong time..

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Today, my boss asked if I could spare a few minutes to finish off the last of his paperwork backlog. I'm pretty desperate for a raise, so I said sure. Turns out the "small", "should-take-a-few-minutes" backlog consists of 3 desk-high stacks of documents. Goodbye, cruel world. FML

#21399405
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10051) - you deserved it (905)

On 04/25/2015 at 8:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

#21399378
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13059) - you deserved it (1019)

On 04/25/2015 at 6:34am - love - by a critically injured shitehawk (man) - United Kingdom (York)

5secondsofvvifi's comment : She really believed it was cocaine? Plus, couldn't you run after her when she excused herself? I myself would probably find that really funny, but that's just me.

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Today, my girlfriend confessed that she'd leave me for her ex in a heartbeat. Tomorrow is, or should I say "was", our wedding day. FML

#21399347
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14638) - you deserved it (839)

On 04/25/2015 at 3:57am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Montana)

Blackhawk706's comment : Better now than tomorrow

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Today, I found out the name on my driver's license is incorrect. I don't know what's worse: the fact the government can't even copy a goddamn name correctly, or that it took me three months to notice, when a cop nearly arrested me for carrying a "fake" license. FML

#21399342
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16871) - you deserved it (2520)

On 04/25/2015 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my little sister filled the huge house I spent over a week building in Minecraft with TNT. She then demanded I give her all the money in my wallet, or she'd blow it all up. She's now $86.25 richer, and my parents think it's too hilarious to make her give me my money back. FML

#21399271
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14982) - you deserved it (11798)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:23pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while getting ice cream with a friend, her car got broken into. Nothing was taken except my backpack, which contained assignments making up 50% or more for grades in four separate classes. FML

#21399187
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20196) - you deserved it (1646)

On 04/24/2015 at 7:58pm - misc - by Caroline1812 (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was staying at my boyfriend's house while he was at work, and put on his pants to make some tea. As I took my hot tea and laptop upstairs, the pants slowly started to fall down. I had to keep climbing with my pants around my knees, and shuffle awkwardly past my boyfriend's father. FML

#21399154
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16204) - you deserved it (5352)

On 04/24/2015 at 6:38pm - misc - by Bullet4MyChemaMo - Ireland (Cork)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.



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