Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, I got hit in the face by a ping-pong ball. It hit me so hard, it burst a big zit on impact. FML

#21436170
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4927) - you deserved it (486)

On 07/04/2015 at 2:25am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML

#21436148
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5418) - you deserved it (661)

On 07/04/2015 at 1:02am - intimacy - by alison (woman) - United States

Today, I had to lie to my coworkers about me and some guy beating the absolute shite out of each other in a bar fight, all to avoid admitting my black eye was from my 7 year old son punching me in the face the other day. FML

#21436121
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8798) - you deserved it (2698)

On 07/03/2015 at 11:41pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I took an online IQ test, even though I knew they give everyone unrealistically high scores. My score was 73. FML

#21436113
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8830) - you deserved it (2074)

On 07/03/2015 at 11:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my husband's 70-year-old uncle came for a visit. Since we only have 2 bedrooms, we set him up in our daughter's room. Later, I glanced into the room and saw him masturbating in her bed. FML

#21436083
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14068) - you deserved it (1187)

On 07/03/2015 at 10:31pm - misc - by okaydisarray (woman) - United States (Ohio)

kamr3n's comment : Maybe it's time for him to go.

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Today, I was at a restaurant where the host is an attractive guy with only one arm. I was with my family, so I didn't want to be too obvious when checking him out. It seems like I was, though, because he came over and told me it was rude to stare at his arm. FML

#21436059
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12112) - you deserved it (1868)

On 07/03/2015 at 9:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

nonsensical's comment : "Oh this is embarrassing, I'm sorry. I was actually checking you out. You're very attractive." THIS WOULD HAVE MADE HIS DAY.

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Today, while on a cruise that I paid for, I was forced to babysit my 5 bratty nieces while my sister and her deadbeat boyfriend relaxed in the kid free zone. FML

#21436048
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13742) - you deserved it (2751)

On 07/03/2015 at 9:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Kayloe's comment : The word "No" should become a staple in your vocabulary.

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Today, I decided I wanted to bleach my hair, so I asked my mother for help. Apparently, something went wrong, because clumps of my hair started falling out. Now I'm half blonde and half bald, and my mom is just laughing at me. FML

#21436042
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12660) - you deserved it (3559)

On 07/03/2015 at 8:54pm - misc - by notquitejuliet - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML

#21435969
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15205) - you deserved it (964)

On 07/03/2015 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by but cum to think of it... (man) -

Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML

#21435950
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15626) - you deserved it (2023)

On 07/03/2015 at 4:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML

#21435915
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14423) - you deserved it (1722)

On 07/03/2015 at 3:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out that my parents secretly throw away any food I cook for them, because they think I might try to poison them. FML

#21435904
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17346) - you deserved it (1586)

On 07/03/2015 at 3:02pm - misc - by Rusty (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend told me that once you love somebody you can never truly fall "out of love" with them. She wasn't talking about me, she was talking about her ex. FML

#21435838
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17018) - you deserved it (1238)

On 07/03/2015 at 11:52am - love - by worriedman - United States (Illinois)



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