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Today, I got approached by a lady while eating at a fast-food restaurant who asked if I could spare five dollars. Confidently, I pulled out my wallet to show her that I had no cash, only to reveal a perfectly crisp five dollar bill that I had completely forgotten about. FML

#21284180
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5897) - you deserved it (2677)

On 10/24/2014 at 1:02am - money - by Yeah (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my best friend and I, after years of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in my head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML

#21284031
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7877) - you deserved it (1235)

On 10/23/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was the weird girl on the city bus who falls asleep then makes a loud, weird noise and wakes herself up. FML

#21284017
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7935) - you deserved it (1015)

On 10/23/2014 at 9:05pm - misc - by pyrogypsy (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my wife got a new best-friend. It's my ex-wife. FML

#21283962
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9509) - you deserved it (837)

On 10/23/2014 at 7:30pm - love - by max - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

#21283844
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19383) - you deserved it (1438)

On 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by Alexismaria - United States

23lf's comment : Wash your eyes out with battery acid.

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Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

#21283795
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18907) - you deserved it (2177)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I didn't make dinner fast enough so somebody had a yelling and screaming temper tantrum. It would be understandable if the person who threw the tantrum was a child, and not my 57-year-old father. FML

#21283737
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16900) - you deserved it (1388)

On 10/23/2014 at 11:56am - misc - by mnote (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my younger brother helpfully pointed out that I'm the only one in my family of five who is single. He's twelve. FML

#21283583
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22915) - you deserved it (2081)

On 10/23/2014 at 1:18am - love - by 20singleandproudish (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was passing notes in class with my crush. I started to pour my heart out and tell him about how I've liked him for years. I was caught by the teacher. He looked at it, laughed, and tore it up. He then looked at me and said, "I just saved you from years of embarrassment. You're welcome." FML

#21283544
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24614) - you deserved it (6461)

On 10/23/2014 at 12:04am - love - by Rachel - United States (Ohio)

sevazilla's comment : Think of it in a good way; maybe he did. Studies show that the average "crush" lasts for 4-6 month.

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Today, early in the morning, I got a knock on the door from the police. It seems my son and his friend had been caught throwing toilet paper at a neighbour's house. He's 23. FML

#21283412
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22507) - you deserved it (2334)

On 10/22/2014 at 9:33pm - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML

#21283288
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25942) - you deserved it (1836)

On 10/22/2014 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by BadLuckLad (man) - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

GigaPudding's comment : "...and your girlfriend" Sorry to hear that OP, cheaters are the worst!

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Today, I had sex for the first time with my first boyfriend. We broke up 6 years ago. FML

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

#21283230
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21366) - you deserved it (2822)

On 10/22/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by CJune24 (woman) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)



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