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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I missed my bus. But it didn't miss me. I've been in the hospital for 8 hours with a broken leg. FML

#21413750
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3084) - you deserved it (221)

On 05/21/2015 at 9:55pm - money - by FrickingBusDrivers (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I waited tables for the first time at my new restaurant job. I asked a group of older men what they would like. One replied, "A slice of that ass". I'm 19 and a guy. FML

#21413610
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14589) - you deserved it (1250)

On 05/21/2015 at 4:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

TheCookieComet's comment : I guess you got buns hun.

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Today, I decided to get in shape for swimsuit season, so I went to the gym. I tried to lift a barbell up and over my head, which was fine, until I dropped it. Exercise earned me a concussion and a neck brace. FML

#21413444
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10802) - you deserved it (4877)

On 05/21/2015 at 8:22am - health - by crossfitter -

Today, my neighbor was having work done in his apartment, and he'd warned me that there might be some noise. Yes, there was, what with all the town's firemen in the building after he'd ruptured the main gas pipe. FML

#21413464
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16877) - you deserved it (1038) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/21/2015 at 7:51am - misc - by Jolabanane - France

Today, I backed into an expensive SUV only minutes after my boss congratulated me for being the only employee to not wreck a company car. FML

#21413424
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17224) - you deserved it (3075)

On 05/21/2015 at 6:48am - work - by pgmonster - United States (California)

Today, it was the first time a guy has shown any interest in me by calling me pretty. I was so shocked that instead of saying thank you, I hid behind the nearest object and promptly giggle-snorted. FML

OysterPearls's comment : Pretty and mysterious? You're a real catch OP!

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Today, after being a resident DJ at a local club for over 4 years, I got fired. Not because I'm bad at what I do, but because my boss thinks I'm not 'having fun like the other DJs'. And by 'having fun' he means that I don't drink enough. I got fired for not being an alcoholic. FML

#21413333
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19241) - you deserved it (1212)

On 05/20/2015 at 11:56pm - work - by SFBEL - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, I got a call from a really great company that I applied to work for, asking me to come in for an interview. When I went in, they had no appointment scheduled and no idea who I was. It turned out it was all a prank by my brother and his friends. My brother is 30. FML

#21413299
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19647) - you deserved it (1256)

On 05/20/2015 at 10:49pm - work - by stilljobless (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at my best friend's house, listening to him complain about his mother remembering all the bad stuff he did when he was in high school. I jokingly said, "An elephant never forgets." Guess who was behind me. FML

#21413204
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15340) - you deserved it (6677)

On 05/20/2015 at 7:21pm - misc - by BannedfromFriend - United States

gearhead369's comment : And she will never forget you said that either

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Today, I received 46 emails from co-workers who were using reply-all to tell everyone else not to use reply-all. FML

#21413067
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16926) - you deserved it (1239)

On 05/20/2015 at 2:47pm - work - by farf -

Today, some guy walked into the restaurant I work at and ordered enough food to serve the entire National Guard of Texas. He thanked us by leaving a $0.50 tip and shitting on the bathroom floor. FML

#21413064
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18856) - you deserved it (1200)

On 05/20/2015 at 2:40pm - work - by kmctl - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother yelled at me for driving erratically. I was "driving" in a video game. FML

#21413063
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20343) - you deserved it (1959)

On 05/20/2015 at 2:35pm - misc - by Paws_Cat - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a new employee started at our office. She's about 18, barely does any work, chews gum loudly, has no manners, and happens to sit right next to me. She also threatens to report me for harassment whenever I politely ask her to not bash my chair with the back of her chair. FML

#21413003
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22117) - you deserved it (1583)

On 05/20/2015 at 12:17pm - work - by Anonymous - Cyprus (Paphos)



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