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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found out that my "mosquito bite" was in fact a jellyfish sting I got in Mexico, which has caused me to break out into horrendous hives in the airport waiting for the flight home. It's okay though, the plane is only delayed for 7 hours. FML

#21437526
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (333) - you deserved it (26)

On 07/06/2015 at 6:26pm - health - by feelthesting - Mexico (Aguascalientes)

Today, I was working customer service at a large grocery store. I recently got a small, tasteful septum piercing that is barely visible. As I greeted a customer, she began to gag, held out her hand as though she was fending me off, and said, "I can't. Your nose ring makes me sick." FML

#21437504
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2262) - you deserved it (845)

On 07/06/2015 at 5:37pm - work - by a_dani365 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I learned how my coworkers differentiate between my coworker and me as we have the same name, when I overheard one of them ask the other, "Which one, ugly Leslie or hot Leslie?" When the answer was "ugly Leslie," he walked straight to me. FML

#21437500
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2526) - you deserved it (172)

On 07/06/2015 at 5:32pm - work - by makeover-needed - United States

Today, during family therapy the therapist asked if I believe I'm a good parent/husband. When I said yes my two sons, my daughter and even my wife very passionately disagreed. FML

#21437483
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11963) - you deserved it (5406)

On 07/06/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by --- - Canada (Ontario)

MrConcise's comment : Hey, that's why you're there. Just remember that.

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Today, while lifeguarding over children at work, I started thinking about my girlfriend and got a hard on. Before I realized it, I saved a kid and then hopped out of the pool next to a 5 year old in front of my managers and a little over 50 patrons with a raging boner. My HR meeting is tomorrow. FML

#21437372
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12983) - you deserved it (3186)

On 07/06/2015 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by notacreep - United States (California)

ryannmichael's comment : That's a hard situation to be in... sorry OP

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Today, I was having a dream about Chris Pratt. Instead of having a sexy dream that I would have enjoyed, I dreamt he was a supervisor at my work. He kept telling me how much I sucked. FML

#21437326
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16206) - you deserved it (1757)

On 07/06/2015 at 11:14am - intimacy - by BrittUnicorn - United States (Tennessee)

kaylizs's comment : Any dream about Chris Pratt is a wet dream.

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Today, while at work, a customer, who was also on his phone, rudely asked what kinds of bread we had for his sandwich. After I told him we had many different kinds to offer, he cut me off, told me to stop playing stupid, and stormed out after holding up a long line of people. FML

#21437185
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14944) - you deserved it (1202)

On 07/06/2015 at 2:03am - work - by breadcrumb - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out the only reason why a friend of mine even bothered talking to me. He thought that I'd sleep with him if he was nice enough. FML

#21437177
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15340) - you deserved it (1391)

On 07/06/2015 at 1:30am - intimacy - by I'm_Not_Interested - United States (Nevada)

Today, I once again asked my girlfriend about getting married, as she had previously said she would only get married once gay marriage was legal. She still said no. FML

Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML

#21437094
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17618) - you deserved it (1836)

On 07/05/2015 at 11:18pm - misc - by madisonnkelly - United States (Texas)

Today, I was bored of doing nothing so I decided to take my 4-year-old brother and 3 of our dogs to a school playground nearby. When we got there, one of the four of them pooped in the field. It wasn't one of the dogs. FML

#21437044
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15760) - you deserved it (1309)

On 07/05/2015 at 9:48pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to a restaurant and asked for vegetarian options. They told me, "We have a chicken Caesar salad, will that work?" FML

#21436862
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15640) - you deserved it (4256)

On 07/05/2015 at 3:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months was showing me his new phone. He accidentally opened his gallery, which contains 3 photos: one of his motorcycle, one of his new game console, and a naked photo of his ex. FML

#21436861
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17278) - you deserved it (1335)

On 07/05/2015 at 3:18pm - love - by wellthatsucks - United States



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