Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found out I'm allergic to bug repellent. So instead of having a couple of itchy bug bites, my skin feels like it's on fire and is violently itchy everywhere the repellent has touched. FML

#21260387
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11214) - you deserved it (782)

On 09/18/2014 at 12:05am - health - by adamwilcockson - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12978) - you deserved it (1396)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that the only girl who's ever called me cute or handsome is actually a compulsive liar. FML

#21260295
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14265) - you deserved it (1078)

On 09/17/2014 at 9:37pm - misc - by compulsiveliarssaytheylikeme - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my wife named our son after her ex-lover. FML

#21260166
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15901) - you deserved it (1151)

On 09/17/2014 at 6:10pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

#21260160
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15465) - you deserved it (1610)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:57pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my friends came over to my house to eat my food and make fun of me as they played on my Xbox. FML

#21260159
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14713) - you deserved it (3724)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:56pm - misc - by iAmJasper - United States (Wisconsin)

thefmljellyfish's comment : Then they're not your real friends

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Today, my girlfriend admitted that she "probably wasn't even sober" when I asked her out and she said yes. Our almost 2-year relationship is the longest drunken mistake ever. FML

#21260142
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15294) - you deserved it (1295)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:22pm - love - by KayEffEh (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was eating a hot fudge sundae and I complained that the fudge was at the very bottom and I couldn't reach it with my spoon. My husband muttered "Fat girl problems." FML

#21260102
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23804) - you deserved it (7113)

On 09/17/2014 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

geekbuscus's comment : Sounds like he's got asshole problems.

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Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend. He said it was because he lived 2 hours away, but I think the ultrasound photos his other girlfriend posted proudly on his Facebook wall are the real reason. FML

#21260092
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27208) - you deserved it (2529)

On 09/17/2014 at 3:48pm - love - by kitkat (woman) - United States

Codezlol's comment : Meh you're better off without him. Good luck!

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Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML

#21259933
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27263) - you deserved it (1777)

On 09/17/2014 at 8:18am - misc - by makeyourselfathome (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my brother got the same cologne as the guy I've been seeing for a while. Every time I'm with my brother I think about him, and every time I'm with him I think about my brother. FML

#21259922
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26535) - you deserved it (2551)

On 09/17/2014 at 7:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I tried to scare what I thought was a stray cat away from my friends car in our work parking garage by hitting the panic button on his keys, which did, indeed, make the creature panic. That's when I learned it was not a cat. It was a skunk. FML

Today, my co-workers threw me a surprise 30th birthday party. After lighting sparklers on the cake and singing happy birthday, we all enjoyed a few moments of sparkly, happy fun time. Then the building's fire alarm tripped and over 200 people had to be evacuated. FML

#21259630
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22711) - you deserved it (2758)

On 09/16/2014 at 7:23pm - work - by so so old now (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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