Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my 8-year-old son told me to grow a pair and man up. FML

#21383517
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6128) - you deserved it (1427)

On 03/29/2015 at 11:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to teach my grandma how to burn files to CDs. I jokingly said that it doesn't involve literally burning the disks in fire, to which she responded by slapping me and calling me a patronizing brat. FML

#21383501
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5585) - you deserved it (2862)

On 03/29/2015 at 10:03am - misc - by shamwazzlefarznarfnarfwoofbaaa (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out the fund-raiser my uncle ran to raise money for his cancer treatment was all a sham, that he doesn't even have cancer, and that the money was to fund a coke habit nobody knew he even had. FML

#21383487
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7180) - you deserved it (455)

On 03/29/2015 at 9:33am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Philippines (Benguet)

Today, I was sitting in my bedroom relaxing when I heard my little sister and my brother. Thinking it was cute they were talking again, I was listening. They were not just "talking", they were making plans on how to kill me. FML

#21383476
7 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14906) - you deserved it (1241)

On 03/29/2015 at 8:54am - kids - by M.SHUKRI - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in a public restroom taking a poop and as I started unrolling the toilet paper, the whole roll fell off the handle and rolled out underneath the cubicle door. I heard somebody laugh at me. Nobody helped. FML

#21383475
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13670) - you deserved it (1108)

On 03/29/2015 at 8:49am - misc - by ToiletRoll - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a calf kicked a needle straight into my arm hard enough to make me stab myself. The good news is I'm now fully vaccinated for cow diseases. FML

Today, with the experience of sitting behind someone on a roller coaster, I found out pee is affected by gravity. FML

#21383398
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14332) - you deserved it (1197)

On 03/29/2015 at 2:38am - misc - by Kryometric - United States (Washington)

Today, my best friend went to my boss and offered to do my job for half the pay. FML

#21383169
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15236) - you deserved it (1116)

On 03/28/2015 at 7:44pm - work - by Haggis300 - Australia

Today, my older brother puked in the sound hole of my sister's guitar. He blamed it on me, and in revenge my sister beat me with the guitar. FML

#21383103
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16096) - you deserved it (1131)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:30pm - misc - by Pukey - United States

Today, I found out that the creepy weirdo who's been sending me messages for a while is just my dad. His excuse was, "I wanted you to feel like someone would actually like you." FML

#21383075
2 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15827) - you deserved it (1156)

On 03/28/2015 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

namine120409's comment : "I'm blocking you, creep" "Hi blocking you creep; I'm dad."

See all the comments →

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be romantic to take me to a strip club for our 1-year anniversary. FML

#21382971
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18487) - you deserved it (2164)

On 03/28/2015 at 1:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had my first therapy session for the issues caused by trying to please my overbearing, paranoid, self-centred mother. The first thing she did after we started driving home? Ranting at me and demanding to know if I'd been "talking shit" about her to my therapist FML

#21382942
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17997) - you deserved it (1241)

On 03/28/2015 at 11:50am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

#21382840
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29953) - you deserved it (2000)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Thenextguyover's comment : "Help! I've fallen into a vagina and can't get out."

See all the comments →



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: