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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

#21260160
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (861) - you deserved it (59)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:57pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my friends came over to my house eating my food and making fun of me as they played on my Xbox. FML

#21260159
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (829) - you deserved it (209)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:56pm - misc - by iAmJasper - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend admitted that she "probably wasn't even sober" when I asked her out and she said yes. Our almost 2-year relationship is the longest drunken mistake ever. FML

#21260142
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (883) - you deserved it (73)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:22pm - love - by KayEffEh (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was eating a hot fudge sundae and I complained that the fudge was at the very bottom and I couldn't reach it with my spoon. My husband muttered "Fat girl problems." FML

#21260102
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16408) - you deserved it (4470)

On 09/17/2014 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend. He said it was because he lived 2 hours away, but I think the ultrasound photos his other girlfriend posted proudly on his Facebook wall are the real reason. FML

#21260092
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18834) - you deserved it (1705)

On 09/17/2014 at 3:48pm - love - by kitkat (woman) - United States

Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML

#21259933
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21541) - you deserved it (1356)

On 09/17/2014 at 8:18am - misc - by makeyourselfathome (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my brother got the same cologne as the guy I've been seeing for a while. Every time I'm with my brother I think about him, and every time I'm with him I think about my brother. FML

#21259922
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21075) - you deserved it (1948)

On 09/17/2014 at 7:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I tried to scare what I thought was a stray cat away from my friends car in our work parking garage by hitting the panic button on his keys, which did, indeed, make the creature panic. That's when I learned it was not a cat. It was a skunk. FML

Today, my co-workers threw me a surprise 30th birthday party. After lighting sparklers on the cake and singing happy birthday, we all enjoyed a few moments of sparkly, happy fun time. Then the building's fire alarm tripped and over 200 people had to be evacuated. FML

#21259630
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19333) - you deserved it (2261)

On 09/16/2014 at 7:23pm - work - by so so old now (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had a conversation with a girl I don't normally talk to. She ended up saying I'm "not as annoying as everyone says." and "Oh... you didn't know?" FML

#21259544
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20216) - you deserved it (1744)

On 09/16/2014 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I was home sick and playing with my dog. I suddenly felt the urge to throw up, so I sprinted to the bathroom. My dog thought this was an invitation to chase me and tackle me to the floor. FML

#21259489
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20695) - you deserved it (1989)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:46pm - animals - by furryfriend (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML

#21259479
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25637) - you deserved it (5494)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Pandaburr1's comment : No girl is attractive until they're legal... that rule will keep you out of jail

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Today, my husband and I broke the news that I'm pregnant. Our 8-year-old son's reactions so far have been crying inconsolably, trying to punch me in the stomach, and swearing that he won't let me give him a brother or sister. FML

#21259449
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24744) - you deserved it (2806)

On 09/16/2014 at 1:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

2ndSucks's comment : My sister was very upset when we found out we were getting a younger sister too. It'll get better when he realizes you won't abandon him for the new kid.

See all the comments →



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