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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I needed to pee at my friend's house. His bathroom door is often left closed even if there's no one in there, so I knocked just to make sure. His stepdad opened the door stark naked. FML

#21384435
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (608) - you deserved it (42)

On 03/30/2015 at 9:52pm - intimacy - by oops (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was working at a donation center. I was having a really rough day, so my fiancée dropped me off some cookies. At the end of my shift, the manager told me I couldn't take them home because they were donated and therefore they were "company property." FML

#21384262
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1469) - you deserved it (82)

On 03/30/2015 at 4:46pm - work - by bingalingading (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML

#21384188
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12833) - you deserved it (968)

On 03/30/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by noantiquesforme - United States (California)

Today, I popped a boner during a singing audition for no apparent reason. I had to stand there for three minutes and finish the song. FML

#21384034
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12636) - you deserved it (1245)

On 03/30/2015 at 7:16am - misc - by uncontrollable - Korea, Republic of

PlainWhiteWalls's comment : That must have been hard to deal with.

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Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML

#21384025
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22302) - you deserved it (1716)

On 03/30/2015 at 6:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

TheCookieComet's comment : I think this gives you the right to watch porn openly

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Today, while waiting for the bus, I googled walking directions to my destination, in case I had already missed the bus. I was so absorbed in my search that I missed the bus. FML

#21384017
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12323) - you deserved it (15517)

On 03/30/2015 at 5:19am - misc - by getoffthephone - United Kingdom

Today, a teenage girl with a selfie stick came into my workplace. She knocked down multiple displays while trying to take pictures, before leaving without making a purchase. I had to clean it all up. FML

#21383983
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20463) - you deserved it (1343)

On 03/30/2015 at 1:56am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

CurlyQute's comment : What is wrong with people?? Why are some people so inconsiderate!?!

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Today, after recently quitting a terrible job which made me miserable, I went to my first work meeting at my new job. I was excited to start fresh and meet my new coworkers. Instead, I met my boyfriend's extremely jealous ex-girlfriend. She didn't look excited to see me. FML

#21383954
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19503) - you deserved it (1287)

On 03/30/2015 at 1:06am - work - by kitkat3308 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love with. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

#21383831
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23793) - you deserved it (1624)

On 03/29/2015 at 10:13pm - intimacy - by sexisntfun (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I lost hundreds of dollars in gift cards. Robbed? No. Mugged? Don't think so. My roommate threw them away after he got water on them, thinking that it rendered them unusable. FML

#21383795
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20928) - you deserved it (1618)

On 03/29/2015 at 9:09pm - money - by BrokeAndSad - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out my girlfriend keeps my toenails in her deceased grandmother's prized music box. She says it's to, "Keep the box natural." I don't understand why she does this, or what she means by "natural." FML

#21383678
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17984) - you deserved it (1535)

On 03/29/2015 at 5:18pm - misc - by coldasfire - United States

Today, my girlfriend hasn't spoken to me in a week, so I gave her a call. No reply. I texted her, and got a text back saying: "Sorry, dude. Better luck next time!" FML

#21383638
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18940) - you deserved it (1505)

On 03/29/2015 at 3:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 8-year-old son told me to grow a pair and man up. FML

#21383517
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20698) - you deserved it (5250)

On 03/29/2015 at 11:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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