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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was out shopping with my little sister. I wanted to try something on, so I put my bag in front of a changing room and jokingly told her to bark if someone came near. She ended up biting a lady who was trying to get into one of the changing rooms. FML

#21417456
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1164) - you deserved it (162) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/29/2015 at 12:19am - kids - by wouaf - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I started my day off with a relaxing cup of coffee, the morning paper, and the sound of my mother informing me I will be going to hell for being not believing in God. FML

#21417394
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1678) - you deserved it (205)

On 05/29/2015 at 12:16am - misc - by idonthavereligion (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend made me a coupon book. I thought it was sweet until I noticed they were all conditional. For example; "Give your boyfriend a blowjob and he'll give you a 10 minute back massage!". They're all like that and he's mad because I refuse to use them. FML

#21417382
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1810) - you deserved it (173)

On 05/28/2015 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by shmoooopie (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that the reason why my boyfriend has been denying me sex isn't because he is scared of someone walking in on us. It's because his blow-up doll pleasures him more than I do. FML

#21417148
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13500) - you deserved it (2047)

On 05/28/2015 at 2:05pm - intimacy - by MarieAmber18 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

jessieluvxo's comment : That blows.

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Today, I received a promotional message offering a half-off deal on an expensive coffee maker. The only reason why I received the message is because I bought that same coffee maker yesterday and I signed up to their mailing list. FML

#21417141
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12288) - you deserved it (1238)

On 05/28/2015 at 1:41pm - money - by FFS - Cyprus (Limassol)

ellemacho's comment : return it and use the coupon on a new one

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Today, my daughter cried for ages after finding out that Nick Amaro was written out of Law and Order: SVU. She barely reacted when I told her that her mom and I are getting a divorce. FML

#21417105
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11872) - you deserved it (1398)

On 05/28/2015 at 11:40am - misc - by svunimportant - United States (Kentucky)

damnitstrue's comment : Honestly she might have just seen it coming and figured that you guys were better off divorced than married and arguing all the time. (assuming that incompatibility was the reason for divorce) But nonetheless FYL

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Today, I got engaged. When I called my father, who is out of state for a few days, to tell him, his response was, "What'd you do that for?" FML

#21417009
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16228) - you deserved it (1558)

On 05/28/2015 at 3:04am - love - by jessiebear159 (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I called 911 to report a drunk driver. The operator yelled at me for following the guy and told me to get off the phone because I shouldn't be driving with a phone to my ear. FML

#21416830
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17520) - you deserved it (4256)

On 05/27/2015 at 9:28pm - misc - by drivingmecrazy - United States (California)

Today, I was let go from my job, because I "progress too quickly and there's no promotions available" and I "can find a better place to work at". FML

#21416754
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20072) - you deserved it (1361)

On 05/27/2015 at 6:27pm - work - by smyp - Lithuania (Vilniaus Apskritis)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend having sex with another woman. They told me to leave so they could finish, and that "we'll all talk this over later." FML

#21416749
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23174) - you deserved it (1555)

On 05/27/2015 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by hellno (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally found my watch after weeks searching for it. It was on my teacher's wrist. FML

#21416691
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19782) - you deserved it (1266)

On 05/27/2015 at 3:40pm - misc - by concom - Cyprus

Today, one of my students tried to bribe me $200 to change his grade. When I said no and told him he was lucky I didn't report him, he went to the dean and told him I offered to change his grade for money. I'm now suspended and under investigation. FML

#21416617
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27568) - you deserved it (2293)

On 05/27/2015 at 12:25pm - work - by UN4 (man) - United States

Today, some guy I passed in the street was so high out of his mind, he beat the crap out of me, thinking I was a piñata. FML

#21416582
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22458) - you deserved it (1895)

On 05/27/2015 at 10:21am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico



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