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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had a 5 hours exam. The exam guard had clearly eaten something funky, because she kept burping loudly. When I thought it couldn't get any worse, she started farting. FML

#21223114
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5943) - you deserved it (369)

On 07/28/2014 at 1:34pm - misc - by lizlala (woman) - Norway (Ostfold)

Today, I almost passed out choking in front of my friends, because I was laughing too hard at my own pathetic joke while eating. FML

#21223030
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4962) - you deserved it (1507)

On 07/28/2014 at 11:39am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met someone who works in radio advertising. Making conversation, I described an ad that I can't stand. He wrote it. FML

#21222884
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14672) - you deserved it (3409)

On 07/28/2014 at 6:16am - work - by Scotty (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I dyed a friend's hair dark brown. She assured me I didn't need gloves as the dye would wash off. It didn't. My shift as a server is in an hour and it looks like I've been working in a tire shop my whole life. Goodbye tips, hello angry customers not wanting me anywhere near their food. FML

Today, my husband decided to play a recording of me breaking wind in my sleep to my whole family at the dinner table. To make matters worse, it was a compilation of different noises from over a long period of time. My family was horrified and my husband seemed proud of himself. FML

#21222673
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15396) - you deserved it (1416)

On 07/28/2014 at 12:36am - misc - by blow away - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man, and that my ass was grounds for discussion." FML

#21222536
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18212) - you deserved it (1843)

On 07/27/2014 at 10:54pm - misc - by tlm84 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I watched a manager and a co-worker sit underneath a table in our store all day as I got yelled at for not working hard enough. I was the only one actually working. FML

#21222525
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15737) - you deserved it (1000)

On 07/27/2014 at 10:48pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This would have been fine, but her boyfriend is my little brother. FML

#21222459
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21199) - you deserved it (1776)

On 07/27/2014 at 9:55pm - intimacy - by why - United States

malaak2's comment : Lol I hope your little brother isn't too little

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Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML

#21222298
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19821) - you deserved it (3923)

On 07/27/2014 at 6:17pm - love - by notgoth (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

billiejoeinabox's comment : I guess you could say the thirst was real.

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Today, I went to a comedy show with my mom, and they asked the audience members to yell out their problems as ideas for an improv skit. My mom yelled, "My daughter can't get a boyfriend!" FML

#21222137
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30176) - you deserved it (2951)

On 07/27/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by Yeppets (woman) - United States

kingkevin2001's comment : You should've yelled "My mom is a judgmental bitch!"

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Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML

#21222166
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26371) - you deserved it (3245)

On 07/27/2014 at 2:44pm - animals - by Anonymous - Germany (Hessen)

Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML

#21222062
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36245) - you deserved it (4019)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by fingwhore (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to go to the hospital to get blood taken. The nurse mentioned how pronounced and easy to see my veins are. I guess that explains why she missed five times in a row. I'm surprised my arm doesn't look like a heroin addict's right now. FML

#21222027
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26480) - you deserved it (1871)

On 07/27/2014 at 12:13pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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Tuesday 22 July 2014

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