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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I'm so broke that I had to call in sick to work because I couldn't afford to pay my bus fare. FML

#21260606
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12336) - you deserved it (1215)

On 09/18/2014 at 11:38am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, my boyfriend convinced my 4-year-old sister that girls don't poop. She won't stop crying and now thinks she's a freak. FML

#21260556
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11560) - you deserved it (1084)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:16am - kids - by Anonymous - Kenya

Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML

#21260464
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14880) - you deserved it (1316)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

mectain's comment : I'm really truly sorry for that. that's just cold.

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Today, I found out I'm allergic to bug repellent. So instead of having a couple of itchy bug bites, my skin feels like it's on fire and is violently itchy everywhere the repellent has touched. FML

#21260387
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17857) - you deserved it (1341)

On 09/18/2014 at 12:05am - health - by adamwilcockson - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20656) - you deserved it (2290)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Chucks719's comment : But did you say yes?

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Today, I found out that the only girl who's ever called me cute or handsome is actually a compulsive liar. FML

#21260295
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19576) - you deserved it (1505)

On 09/17/2014 at 9:37pm - misc - by compulsiveliarssaytheylikeme - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my wife named our son after her ex-lover. FML

#21260166
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21789) - you deserved it (1623)

On 09/17/2014 at 6:10pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

#21260160
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20514) - you deserved it (2267)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:57pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my friends came over to my house to eat my food and make fun of me as they played on my Xbox. FML

#21260159
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19498) - you deserved it (4829)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:56pm - misc - by iAmJasper - United States (Wisconsin)

thefmljellyfish's comment : Then they're not your real friends

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Today, my girlfriend admitted that she "probably wasn't even sober" when I asked her out and she said yes. Our almost 2-year relationship is the longest drunken mistake ever. FML

#21260142
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20104) - you deserved it (1737)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:22pm - love - by KayEffEh (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was eating a hot fudge sundae and I complained that the fudge was at the very bottom and I couldn't reach it with my spoon. My husband muttered "Fat girl problems." FML

#21260102
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26252) - you deserved it (7868)

On 09/17/2014 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend. He said it was because he lived 2 hours away, but I think the ultrasound photos his other girlfriend posted proudly on his Facebook wall are the real reason. FML

#21260092
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29835) - you deserved it (2823)

On 09/17/2014 at 3:48pm - love - by kitkat (woman) - United States

Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML

#21259933
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29329) - you deserved it (1938)

On 09/17/2014 at 8:18am - misc - by makeyourselfathome (man) - Australia (Victoria)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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