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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I finally got the results of months of extensive psychological testing to determine why I did so well in my course but performed so terribly on the job. Turns out I'm autistic. FML

#21463718
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1061) - you deserved it (76)

On 09/02/2015 at 11:41am - work - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I let my 9-year-old daughter use my tablet while I made her dinner. A few minutes later, she let out a blood-curdling scream. Turned out she'd searched for My Little Pony pictures and stumbled upon a drawing of Rainbow Dash giving another pony a blowjob. FML

#21463707
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11911) - you deserved it (1801)

On 09/02/2015 at 11:26am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

jelly_bennett's comment : I blame bronies

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Today, I've been calling my girlfriend by her nickname for so long, I had to reactivate my Facebook account to find her real name. FML

#21463691
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5631) - you deserved it (10720)

On 09/02/2015 at 9:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - India (Tamil Nadu)

uhlexxiz's comment : Her FML: today, I found out my boyfriend had to activate his Facebook to find out my real name. FML

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Today, I was diagnosed with depression. My girlfriend's idea of consoling me was to break up with me because she can't date a "psycho". FML

#21463683
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11483) - you deserved it (850)

On 09/02/2015 at 9:29am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my doctor informed me that the tests we've been doing the previous months show no sign of leukemia. I was just about to express my relief when he casually followed up with, "Never mind, there's still a lot of other blood-related diseases we need to look out for." FML

#21463645
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14446) - you deserved it (854)

On 09/02/2015 at 6:09am - health - by Lily (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, some friends got upset with me as I wouldn't leave work early and cycle 12 miles to meet them to fix their punctures because they had no spare tubes or repair kits. The same friends that always mock me for being so prepared on bike rides. FML

#21463642
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14929) - you deserved it (992)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Timpa70's comment : Joke's on them. You were right to refuse them.

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Today, I had an argument with my boyfriend who was accusing me of only being in a relationship with him because I'd fantasised about being with an Asian. When I told him he was wrong, he asked me what attracted me to him in the first place. "Your eyes" was definitely the wrong answer. FML

#21463628
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16951) - you deserved it (4397) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/02/2015 at 12:21am - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to the orthodontist, and found out when I was supposed to get my braces off. His exact words, "You'll get them off around Christmas... but we're not sure what year." FML

#21463569
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16080) - you deserved it (1098)

On 09/01/2015 at 11:55pm - health - by KenzoBVB - Canada

Today, at my new job, I walked into the office to hear my supervisor and HR manager talking about how, "the new guy isn't very smart, but we can get him to do the shit work for a couple weeks." Gee, thanks. FML

#21463530
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15315) - you deserved it (1213)

On 09/01/2015 at 10:39pm - work - by texasbest (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a customer service guy called to fix a problem I've been having with my phone. When it transpired that he couldn't help, he transferred me to another representative. This other representative ended up being a John Deere dealer in Michigan. FML

#21463522
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14463) - you deserved it (969)

On 09/01/2015 at 10:26pm - misc - by NotBuyingATractor (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a notice from the housing association, if I don't water my lawn I will be charged a $150 fine. Yet if I do water my lawn the city with charge me a $150 fine because of the drought. FML

#21463419
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17514) - you deserved it (976)

On 09/01/2015 at 3:43pm - misc - by really? - United States

Today, my parents made me quit a school team that I absolutely loved, because women "aren't supposed to play sports." and were worried that if I stayed on the team, I'd develop a manly physique. FML

#21463369
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22166) - you deserved it (1410)

On 09/01/2015 at 1:02pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I left my phone outside on the grass while I went inside to get a drink. I didn't expect my dad to run over it with the lawn mower. FML

#21463365
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9848) - you deserved it (19841)

On 09/01/2015 at 12:46pm - misc - by RiceCrispyTreats - United States (New Hampshire)



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