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Today, for our anniversary, I had made a small treasure hunt for my boyfriend, tying roses with notes of poetry to lampposts across campus to lead him to where we would have a romantic dinner. He couldn't find it because people had stolen the roses, or simply ripped them to pieces and thrown them away. FML

#21417526
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (282) - you deserved it (59)

On 05/29/2015 at 9:04am - love - by Headless (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was on the train going to work when my travel tea cup began spilling inside my purse, which was on my lap. It went all over my skirt, pooled at the bottom of my feet, and, yes, everyone notice that it happened to be piss-colored yellow. FML

#21417508
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (253) - you deserved it (36)

On 05/29/2015 at 8:13am - misc - by Great (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned one of life's great lessons : it is possible to squeeze a Ketchup bottle so hard that the plastic breaks and everything lands on your face. FML

#21417490
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (235) - you deserved it (59)

On 05/29/2015 at 6:58am - misc - by sassy_girl144 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Berkshire)

Today, I started my day off with a relaxing cup of coffee, the morning paper, and the sound of my mother informing me I will be going to hell for being not believing in God. FML

#21417394
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7991) - you deserved it (1333)

On 05/29/2015 at 12:16am - misc - by idonthavereligion (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend made me a coupon book. I thought it was sweet until I noticed they were all conditional. For example; "Give your boyfriend a blowjob and he'll give you a 10 minute back massage!". They're all like that and he's mad because I refuse to use them. FML

#21417382
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8390) - you deserved it (865)

On 05/28/2015 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by shmoooopie (woman) - United States (Ohio)

604's comment : If he asks why you're not using them, tell him you already did; they were accepted by a competitor for double the value.

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Today, I found out that the reason why my boyfriend has been denying me sex isn't because he is scared of someone walking in on us. It's because his blow-up doll pleasures him more than I do. FML

#21417148
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16804) - you deserved it (2616)

On 05/28/2015 at 2:05pm - intimacy - by MarieAmber18 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

jessieluvxo's comment : That blows.

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Today, I received a promotional message offering a half-off deal on an expensive coffee maker. The only reason why I received the message is because I bought that same coffee maker yesterday and I signed up to their mailing list. FML

#21417141
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15169) - you deserved it (1509)

On 05/28/2015 at 1:41pm - money - by FFS - Cyprus (Limassol)

ellemacho's comment : return it and use the coupon on a new one

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Today, my daughter cried for ages after finding out that Nick Amaro was written out of Law and Order: SVU. She barely reacted when I told her that her mom and I are getting a divorce. FML

#21417105
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14686) - you deserved it (1751)

On 05/28/2015 at 11:40am - misc - by svunimportant - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got engaged. When I called my father, who is out of state for a few days, to tell him, his response was, "What'd you do that for?" FML

#21417009
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17836) - you deserved it (1758)

On 05/28/2015 at 3:04am - love - by jessiebear159 (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I called 911 to report a drunk driver. The operator yelled at me for following the guy and told me to get off the phone because I shouldn't be driving with a phone to my ear. FML

#21416830
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18993) - you deserved it (4673)

On 05/27/2015 at 9:28pm - misc - by drivingmecrazy - United States (California)

Today, I was let go from my job, because I "progress too quickly and there's no promotions available" and I "can find a better place to work at". FML

#21416754
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21180) - you deserved it (1458)

On 05/27/2015 at 6:27pm - work - by smyp - Lithuania (Vilniaus Apskritis)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend having sex with another woman. They told me to leave so they could finish, and that "we'll all talk this over later." FML

#21416749
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24522) - you deserved it (1664)

On 05/27/2015 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by hellno (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

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