Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was detained for trying to "illegally enter" my house, all because my parents forgot to tell me they were being evicted. FML

#21449546
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9576) - you deserved it (529)

On 07/30/2015 at 1:38pm - misc - by College_Grad (woman) -

Today, my young stepdaughter decided that she should store her coins in my laptop's card reader slot and in the CD drive. I just bought the laptop last week. FML

#21449535
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8592) - you deserved it (756)

On 07/30/2015 at 1:22pm - kids - by GidleyWife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to listen to my grandma talk about how she's "allergic" to toilet paper, and how she lets nature "take care of it". FML

#21449508
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8765) - you deserved it (558)

On 07/30/2015 at 11:30am - health - by WhatTheFuck - United States (Illinois)

Today, while shopping with my sister, she asked me to wait for her while she quickly said hello to a friend. I sat on a bench for an hour before I realised she wasn't coming back. Turns out "hello" had turned into a date. FML

#21449387
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15219) - you deserved it (1222)

On 07/30/2015 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was doing laundry while my boyfriend was sitting at the table playing on his phone. I glanced over and caught him watching my ass as I put clothes in the dryer. Trying to be sexy, I looked at him as I slowly bent over to put more clothes in. Instead, I hit my head hard on the dryer door. FML

#21449270
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14991) - you deserved it (4180)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:34pm - intimacy - by RuasaLove - United States (New Jersey)

jayennachristine's comment : Quit banging the dryer and bang him

See all the comments →

Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for smiling and laughing too much. Last week, he reprimanded me for not smiling and laughing enough. FML

#21449263
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15420) - you deserved it (994)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:25pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up on the couch and realized I had fallen asleep while doing laundry. Ran to the laundry room, and found all my clothes gone. I really wish I hadn't been doing a load of all my pants. FML

#21449249
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13915) - you deserved it (1789)

On 07/29/2015 at 9:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

TubaTba's comment : The real question is who in their right mind steals a whole load of men's pants?...

See all the comments →

Today, at a baseball game, I smiled and waved at the little girl in front of me. She cried. FML

Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML

#21449227
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17149) - you deserved it (957)

On 07/29/2015 at 8:57pm - health - by Crap (woman) - United States (Florida)

echarlotte's comment : a true fml

See all the comments →

Today, I got fired from my new job on my first day. Why? Because I'm 19 and company policy says you have to be 21. But they can't ask how old you are. FML

#21449086
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15533) - you deserved it (1433)

On 07/29/2015 at 2:40pm - work - by jobless and broke - United States (Arizona)

Today, I came home to find my mom drunk. She asked me for a hug and then started crying, "Where's my daughter?" I'm her daughter. And her only child, as far as I know. FML

#21449052
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14471) - you deserved it (936)

On 07/29/2015 at 1:07pm - misc - by roselysunset (woman) - United States (California)

Today, during my father's funeral, I heard my mother-in-law mutter, "No loss there. Lazy cunt." FML

#21449050
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20663) - you deserved it (1119)

On 07/29/2015 at 1:00pm - misc - by HF44 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my business got broken into and I lost a lot of valuable equipment. Although I have 24/7 security guards, they left in the middle of the burglary because they were too scared to stop the burglars or even to call the police. FML

#21449035
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20769) - you deserved it (1623)

On 07/29/2015 at 11:30am - money - by fukingtigans (man) - Croatia (Zadarska)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: