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Today, I had my teacher look over my essay before turning it in. He said it was extremely well-written, so I handed it in. When I got it back, the feedback he left said it was one of the worst essays he'd ever read. FML

#21115571
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (869) - you deserved it (65)

On 04/17/2014 at 3:59pm - work - by badessaymyass (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had my first car accident. I ran into a parked car and the owner saw it happen, then accidentally opened my car door straight into it as well when I went to give her my information. FML

#21115410
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (993) - you deserved it (253)

On 04/17/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I'm 25 years old, I've got an education and I only now found out in front of 15 people that, no, sparrows are not small pigeons that are going to grow up. FML

#21115335
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7041) - you deserved it (11582) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/17/2014 at 6:37am - animals - by pablito - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories sake". FML

#21115090
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18638) - you deserved it (1295)

On 04/16/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by exasperated (woman) - United States (Texas)

thelittlemissy's comment : Punch him in the face, for your memorys sake

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Today, I went to a restaurant for a friend's birthday. There were two very attractive waiters. They waited until I went to the toilet to sit down, talk to my friends and hit on them. They promptly left upon my return. Men avoid me. FML

#21114882
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19410) - you deserved it (2041)

On 04/16/2014 at 8:00pm - love - by kittykat798 (woman) - United Kingdom (Dundee City)

Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML

#21114779
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21371) - you deserved it (1676)

On 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by MILF (woman) - United States (Missouri)

ThatOneGuy719's comment : One free ticket to the principals office!

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Today, it's my birthday. The only people who wished me a happy birthday were the ones who saw the "birthday boy" poster my sister plastered around school, which included a photo of me as a kid dressed up as a girl. FML

#21114561
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25660) - you deserved it (2181)

On 04/16/2014 at 1:24pm - misc - by birthdaygirl - United States (California)

Jaaared_'s comment : Wow your sister is evil.

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Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML

#21114249
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27560) - you deserved it (7869)

On 04/16/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Confused (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

#21114169
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26870) - you deserved it (4565)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:48pm - health - by Nose bleed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I sat and watched the CEO of DreamWorks on TV misuse words such as "quantum". He's filthy rich, whereas I'm a savagely underpaid gardener. FML

Today, I was telling my dad about how annoying it was to constantly have my ten-year-old cousin message me about her new boyfriend, when he suddenly bursts out laughing about how she can get a boyfriend at ten, and I have never even kissed a guy and I'm seventeen. FML

#21114115
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27971) - you deserved it (3302)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:18pm - love - by Foreveralone17362562 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, our family went to a water park. The park's mascot came up to greet us, and my daughter got scared. She then refused to go inside, so we had no choice but to leave. FML

#21114019
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24222) - you deserved it (3562)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:20pm - kids - by Someone (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML

#21113974
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27063) - you deserved it (7548)

On 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm - work - by sad but true. - United States (Connecticut)



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