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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend and I were having a conversation about the lack of communication in our relationship. I told him that sometimes I feel like he doesn't really care about me at all. If he did, he would listen more. His response? "I know your name, don't I?" FML

#21246190
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4436) - you deserved it (500)

On 08/27/2014 at 12:56am - love - by Iamthatgirl (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

#21246134
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2076) - you deserved it (5451)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

#21246120
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10176) - you deserved it (998)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:02pm - misc - by WowOuch - United States (Texas)

Today, while at the bakery shop, I stood there trying to pick between black forest and dark chocolate. The salesman said kindly, "I've heard dark chocolate helps you lose weight. Yeah, you'd definitely want dark chocolate." FML

#21245941
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8789) - you deserved it (995)

On 08/26/2014 at 6:55pm - misc - by Lika1712 (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I wore a sexy nurse's outfit for a little roleplay with my boyfriend. After the main event, he said the sex was actually pretty bad and that he should file a medical malpractice lawsuit. Then he laughed at his own joke, got dressed, and went out for drinks. FML

#21245913
61 comments

Today, I asked my dad to give me a haircut. After 20 minutes of "fuck"s and "shit"s, he gave up and just shaved my head bald. I pull off the look so badly that two people I don't even know have already told me I look like a psychopath. FML

#21245833
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15052) - you deserved it (2687)

On 08/26/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by alanh69 (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boss asked me if I could work this weekend, doing the work of 2 people, for almost no extra pay. I had a weekend out with my kids planned, so I said I couldn't. My boss called it a shitty excuse, yet gave a free pass to a guy who claimed he had a "phobia of working on weekends". FML

#21245803
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16204) - you deserved it (916)

On 08/26/2014 at 2:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, it's my fourth day of my trip to the USA. I've actually started keeping count of the number of times people get confused because I was born in South Africa and yet am not black. Current count: 9. FML

#21245756
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25410) - you deserved it (2153)

On 08/26/2014 at 12:22pm - misc - by WTF, guys? - United States (California)

Nederlander95's comment : I'm actually kind of surprised it's ONLY nine.

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Today, I was taking a customer's order, when she said she'd better go for a salad, because she was getting fat. She was actually very slim, so I told her she wasn't fat at all. She took one look at me and snorted "Yeah, not compared to you, that's for sure." FML

#21245733
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25396) - you deserved it (2241)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:30am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

AWiseChicken's comment : Bitch cray

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Today, I was fixing the plumbing at my father-in-law's house. I told him to shut off the water and yell to me when he did. A few minutes later, I heard a yell and removed the pipe. I was met with a face full of water. Turns out he was just very excited when the Rangers beat the Mariners. FML

#21245661
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24986) - you deserved it (2290)

On 08/26/2014 at 7:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was staying in my family friend's house in France. The church bells ring every hour, which I thought was cute. Until 8 this morning where they rang 24 times. FML

#21245620
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21883) - you deserved it (2518)

On 08/26/2014 at 3:48am - misc - by hellangelrose - France

Today, I had to go to a public restroom. I have anxiety problems and can't go unless I'm the only one in the room. Another girl came in right after me, and I was waiting for her to leave. She was also waiting. After a while, I left first and had to hold my pee for a few more hours. FML

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33166) - you deserved it (6349)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

senor_octubre's comment : Surprise!!!

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