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Today, I tried fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later, when I had the lawnmower running again, he bitched me out for trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML

#21218479
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21238) - you deserved it (166)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

bdun4's comment : Good job proving him wrong

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Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1588) - you deserved it (7194)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Corvo_Attano_4's comment : *Dad likes this

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Today, my little sister was being picked on by some kids. After seeing one push her, I went over to talk to them about how bullying isn't cool and how they need to play nice. They beat me up. I'm 22 years old and got beat up by a group of 10 year olds. FML

#21218239
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18136) - you deserved it (5986)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got the, "It's not you, it's me" speech for the third breakup in a row. I'm beginning to think that they may not be entirely telling me the truth. FML

#21217897
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23609) - you deserved it (3569)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:09am - love - by swiggityswooty - United States (California)

Today, I managed to punch a customer's child as he walked around the corner just as I enthusiastically pointed his mother in the direction of what she was looking for. FML

#21217892
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24269) - you deserved it (204)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:04am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21256) - you deserved it (6817)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boss is still refusing to hire any more people because he's convinced I can handle all of the work after the majority of staff quit. FML

#21217678
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24818) - you deserved it (202)

On 07/22/2014 at 8:51pm - work - by Inthedumps (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got in a minor car accident because my mom had to check how many likes her last photo on Instagram had while driving. FML

#21217675
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24618) - you deserved it (2079)

On 07/22/2014 at 8:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML

#21217633
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12912) - you deserved it (31903)

On 07/22/2014 at 7:20pm - health - by dypshyyt - United States (Florida)

Today, I was prepping for an interview after several months of unemployment. I had just finished brushing my teeth when I reached back and grabbed a towel behind me to wipe my face. Turns out it wasn't a towel, it was my newly dry-cleaned suit jacket that my wife had put there for me. FML

#21217564
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22228) - you deserved it (6082)

On 07/22/2014 at 5:55pm - work - by Infadel - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

#21217343
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3547) - you deserved it (32289)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

ihaveasushicat's comment : I think it's time to have a really long talk with your daughter...

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Today, I found the iPod touch that my mother claimed was stolen at the mall a few years ago, lying on her bed, still logged in to her Facebook. Thanks, mom. FML

#21217252
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33277) - you deserved it (259)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:54am - misc - by d4rkxf0x - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

#21217074
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31133) - you deserved it (5098)

On 07/22/2014 at 4:44am - love - by and the truth comes out (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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