Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2411) - you deserved it (301)
On 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out why I keep getting yeast infections after my husband goes down on me. He hasn't brushed his teeth in over six months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2990) - you deserved it (476)
On 06/18/2013 at 12:03pm - health - by ohthebreathmints (woman) - United States
Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13706) - you deserved it (4768)
On 06/18/2013 at 11:02am - love - by Well, crap (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)
Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17133) - you deserved it (1531)
On 06/18/2013 at 9:06am - work - by Not a day over 35 (woman) - United States (Alaska)
Today, I went to the gynecologist. In the waiting room they had decorative words that spelled out "Relax" and "Enjoy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (13295) - you deserved it (1285)
On 06/18/2013 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I learned that the money I work hard for on YouTube has been transferred to the wrong person's banking account. That person is my ex-girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17234) - you deserved it (2124)
On 06/18/2013 at 2:35am - money - by Broccolliboyy (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my parents took my iPad back to the store and exchanged it for two cheap knock off tablets. Reason being my little brother threatened to run away because I had one and he didn't. I bought the iPad on my own after graduation. They kept the difference in price. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21540) - you deserved it (1067)
On 06/18/2013 at 2:34am - kids - by evilmuffinlord (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23557) - you deserved it (1469)
On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)
↑ cmayer's comment : Maybe he didn't forget the baby monitor and he was just messing with you.
Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16292) - you deserved it (2478)
On 06/18/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by ProAwkward - United States (Texas)
Today, I was packing up my stuff about to go home. I shut off my MacBook but was still pretending to work for the last few minutes, typing on the keyboard. A good way through, I realized my co-worker sitting across from me could see that the Apple logo was off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7206) - you deserved it (20510)
On 06/17/2013 at 8:55pm - work - by awk1 - United States (Georgia)
Today, I started my new job as a cashier for a drugstore. As I scanned some children's medicine for a family, I gave the girl a tissue because her nose was running. Later, my boss sat me down and told me there had been a complaint about a "female pedo-employee". I'm the only woman working there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19413) - you deserved it (1022)
On 06/17/2013 at 8:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
↑ BimmerDriver's comment : Welcome to modern society where kindness is frowned upon.
Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25316) - you deserved it (15169)
On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)
Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30187) - you deserved it (3702)
On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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