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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got my graduation photos back. I'd sent them to a friend for touching up, but unfortunately we had a major argument recently. I guess that's why in the photos I've been photoshopped out and replaced with a goat. FML

#21283103
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3630) - you deserved it (562)

On 10/22/2014 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

#21283066
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4395) - you deserved it (484)

On 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I dressed up in my nicest clothes and spent ages putting makeup on before going to a nightclub, hoping to meet someone nice. The only person who acknowledged me was a guy who yelled, "Hey, wanna fuck?! Not like anyone else would ever touch you, am I right?!" FML

#21283051
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3742) - you deserved it (465)

On 10/22/2014 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, after emptying the dishwasher, I noticed something in the back by the drain. It looked like a turkey bone. Upon closer inspection, it was a mouse carcass. I have no idea how many loads of dishes have gone through with it in there. FML

#21283044
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13914) - you deserved it (1326)

On 10/22/2014 at 10:47am - animals - by MouserMan - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I tried to download some network-monitoring software for the office as I suspect that one of my staff has been constantly downloading torrents. It wouldn't download because someone was using all the bandwidth. FML

#21282944
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13701) - you deserved it (1192)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:09am - work - by Thewatcher (man) - Mauritius

Today, I offered "Girls Gone Wild" as an example of bad TV in my lecture thinking it was a reality TV show. It's porn. FML

Today, I lost my laptop, but I have my old childhood computer to use. It's password-protected, and the hint to the password is "meaner than Hera." I haven't been into Greek mythology since I was a kid, and if anything, this computer has just shown me how dumb I've gotten over the years. FML

#21282844
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14966) - you deserved it (2755)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by HeckIfIKnow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17050) - you deserved it (1607)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML

#21282761
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17181) - you deserved it (1979)

On 10/21/2014 at 10:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

yamazumi's comment : pff, their fault, would have gotten up anyway.

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Today, I had to google the definition of transsexual just to know what the hell my friends were talking about. I need to read a book. FML

#21282666
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8497) - you deserved it (13047)

On 10/21/2014 at 8:36pm - misc - by Awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML

#21282479
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21389) - you deserved it (2492)

On 10/21/2014 at 4:13pm - misc - by Airplane crap - United States (Kansas)

goldenscorpion's comment : No one 'decides' to get diarrhea.

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Today, I got drug tested for the second time this week. It's Tuesday. FML

Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly chewed on it while doing my homework. FML

#21282480
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14958) - you deserved it (19008)

On 10/21/2014 at 3:46pm - misc - by GetMeTheDamnBleach (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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