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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my Spanish teacher imitated the sound of a coffee grinder, and then said in Spanish, "OK, all of you do it." I did it, thinking everyone else would too. I was the only one in the class who'd understood the Spanish part. FML

#21121714
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (309) - you deserved it (30)

On 04/24/2014 at 11:32am - work - by me - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook from a girl I've had a crush on for a while. As I was about to accept it, it vanished. She explained later that she clicked on my name by accident, and didn't actually want to be friends at all. FML

#21121713
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (302) - you deserved it (22)

On 04/24/2014 at 11:30am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my toddler found my daughter's recorder from 3rd grade and figured out how to play the highest pitch note. Of course, my daughter pulls out her trombone to have a jam session. And I'm out of ibuprofen. FML

#21121712
7 comments

I agree, your life sucks (238) - you deserved it (37)

On 04/24/2014 at 11:28am - kids - by missmom83 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, on a train, I nearly choked while sleeping with my mouth wide open. The little old lady sitting opposite me was entertaining herself by throwing little pieces of balled-up tin foil into my mouth. FML

#21121576
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10039) - you deserved it (1584) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/24/2014 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonyme - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I was on the London underground reading a newspaper. A huge guy was sitting next to me and there weren't many other people around. As I turned a page, he leaned into me, glaring, and said, "I'm not finished yet". At the next stop I put down the paper and jumped off. It wasn't even my stop. FML

#21121256
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11471) - you deserved it (1700)

On 04/23/2014 at 10:21pm - misc - by Quackadoodledoo (man) - United Kingdom (Barnet)

Today, I met a cute guy, and everything went great. After a while, he asked me for my number and I gave it to him. Now he won't stop texting me, asking for pictures of my toes. FML

Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML

#21120721
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20750) - you deserved it (7117)

On 04/23/2014 at 10:54am - misc - by killmenow (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my landlord started showing my apartment, where I have lived and paid rent for over 2 years, to prospective tenants. I didn't realize that I was moving. FML

#21120676
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27952) - you deserved it (1847)

On 04/23/2014 at 8:43am - misc - by Almost_Homeless - Canada (Ontario)

honeybeeki's comment : That's against the law. You should report him.

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Today, my teen son gave me the completed manuscript of the novel he's been working on for 4 years. Surprised and excited that he showed so much dedication to something, I volunteered to read it. I'm only on page 16 and it's absolute drivel, with grammar that makes my eyes bleed. Only 281 pages to go. FML

#21120593
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25618) - you deserved it (3598)

On 04/23/2014 at 3:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Awes0meperson's comment : You could just be honest with him and maybe help him fix it instead of torturing yourself

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Today, my great-grandmother uttered the phrase, "Just because I'm gray up here, doesn't mean I'm gray down there!" FML

#21120495
92 comments

AlenaRoseLee's comment : Well, at least she didn't show you

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Today, I finished building a porch I've worked hard on for the past 2 weeks, and I was very proud on how amazing it turned out. Within 20 minutes of it being completed, my pregnant dog decided to crawl underneath it to have her puppies. I had to take half the porch apart to get to her and them. FML

#21120370
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29599) - you deserved it (3245)

On 04/22/2014 at 10:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the sandwich shop I work in. A customer came in and requested an assorted sub. As I finished putting on the sauces, I looked up to see the customer's face set in horror. Apparently I didn't notice that I licked my fingers clean after getting some mayonnaise on them. FML

#21120360
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9737) - you deserved it (34984)

On 04/22/2014 at 10:40pm - work - by NoGlovesNoChance - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he was moaning a lot. My ego was quickly crushed, though, when I found out they were moans of pain due to a foot cramp. We had to stop so I could rub his foot better. FML

#21120108
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28591) - you deserved it (3108)

On 04/22/2014 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by only my life (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)



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