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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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The Illustrated FML

Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML

#19668555 (81)

I agree, your life sucks (1211) - you deserved it (138)

On 05/23/2012 at 5:14pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML

#19668387 (56)

I agree, your life sucks (1095) - you deserved it (253)

On 05/23/2012 at 4:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was discharged from the hospital after having scrotal surgery. When I got home, the anesthetic had worn off, but I felt okay. Then my dog jumped up at me, paws slamming straight into my nuts. FML

#19667895 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (1790) - you deserved it (141)

On 05/23/2012 at 2:47pm - health - by shanxi (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend ended our relationship. He called me from his mobile phone, claimed to be a trauma surgeon, and told me with a bad German accent that my "boyfriend" had been in a fatal car crash earlier in the day. What the hell is wrong with this idiot? FML

#19667641 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (2189) - you deserved it (294)

On 05/23/2012 at 1:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I went to see a once-in-a-lifetime moment when the Olympic torch passed through my town. I waited for 3 hours only to get a bruise from a man shoving me out of the way at the exact moment it went past. FML

#19667339 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (2507) - you deserved it (216)

On 05/23/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Notorch (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I took the bus. The old lady next to me almost fell when the driver stopped, but I managed to catch her. Five minutes later, the same thing happened to me. The old lady tried to help me, but I lost my balance and pulled her skirt down. FML

#19667338 (63)

I agree, your life sucks (2693) - you deserved it (163)

On 05/23/2012 at 11:52am - misc - by alexo - United States

Today, I had dinner with my family for the first time in a couple of days. My mum and dad spent the majority of the time arguing whether salt or pepper weighed more. This is why I'm not home often. FML

#19666760 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (2190) - you deserved it (192)

On 05/23/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after my check cleared for my half of the $1000 deposit on our new apartment. FML

#19666389 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (3005) - you deserved it (259)

On 05/23/2012 at 2:26am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, we got a call that my brother stuck a rock up his nose and couldn't get it out. My mom had to pick him up and take him to the hospital. My brother is 20. FML

#19666346 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (2945) - you deserved it (192)

On 05/23/2012 at 2:13am - misc - by littlebigbrother - Japan

Today, I went to orientation for college. They gave us a name tag and I tried to figure out how to put it on for a few minutes. After struggling with it I realized it was a sticker. FML

#19665526 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (729) - you deserved it (3270)

On 05/22/2012 at 11:27pm - work - by CollegeKID - United States

Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML

#19664729 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (3719) - you deserved it (508)

On 05/22/2012 at 9:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. He asked me what had brought me there, so I said I needed to get over some issues. He told me to close my eyes and visualize myself constructing a bridge. I paid to get told to build a bridge in my mind's eye. FML

#19664202 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (2508) - you deserved it (697)

On 05/22/2012 at 7:54pm - health - by fml - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML

#19663287 (307)

I agree, your life sucks (5828) - you deserved it (618)

On 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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