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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, in the middle of sex with my boyfriend, my visiting brother knocked on the door saying he'd want to hear the details later. My boyfriend said, "Sure", and kept going. FML

#21346952
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3729) - you deserved it (370)

On 01/30/2015 at 6:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, a booklet came in the mail, addressed to me and titled "How To Train Your Wife". I didn't order it but my wife doesn't believe me. FML

#21346949
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3670) - you deserved it (289)

On 01/30/2015 at 6:28pm - love - by doghouse - United States (Georgia)

Today, I asked my friend to download Frozen for me, because my mom wanted to play it for family movie night. The movie was shit, but it got even worse halfway through, when it cut to hardcore porn and a text bar saying "umad?" Now I'm grounded, and my "friend" is a legend for his prank. FML

#21346882
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7223) - you deserved it (1383)

On 01/30/2015 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

#21346857
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7434) - you deserved it (675)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Retaheki's comment : Sounds like Kanye West.

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Today, my sister asked me how my boyfriend was doing. He died two years ago. She was the first person I told. FML

#21346806
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7168) - you deserved it (508)

On 01/30/2015 at 1:11pm - misc - by lonesomegal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML

#21346789
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13388) - you deserved it (1422)

On 01/30/2015 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and I noticed my boyfriend had commented on a post. It said, "Tag the hottest girl you know". Yeah, he tagged his ex. FML

#21346763
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13947) - you deserved it (1303)

On 01/30/2015 at 11:27am - misc - by Idek - Australia (Western Australia)

aylind's comment : Find every post that says "tag an asshole," or any other similar name, and tag him in all of them.

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Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. In the middle of it he said, "I want us to be covalent bonds". I didn't understand what he meant, and he actually stopped to explain it to me. FML

#21346746
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11249) - you deserved it (3054)

On 01/30/2015 at 10:11am - intimacy - by Chemist-why (woman) - United States (California)

Nymeria's comment : I guess it's more of a hydrogen bond now, right? Not so strong.

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Today, I'm on a train, feeling good because I got upgraded to first class. The man opposite me just slid me a note saying, "Wee plooky cunt, fuck off!" Charming. FML

#21346702
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13561) - you deserved it (1063)

On 01/30/2015 at 7:49am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I bought a small tub of coconut pieces in a bid to eat healthier snacks at work. I noticed that the chunks were a bit slimy, but thought nothing of it and kept eating. It wasn't until I reached the final few pieces that I noticed a huge black slug crawling across the bottom of the tub. FML

#21346678
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16383) - you deserved it (2899)

On 01/30/2015 at 6:00am - misc - by goodbyediet (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I received a panicked email from one of my university students on my course on Russian history, stating that he'd "always thought Stalin was fake, like the moon landing". FML

#21346676
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14637) - you deserved it (1094)

On 01/30/2015 at 5:51am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML

#21346656
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13857) - you deserved it (1215)

On 01/30/2015 at 4:00am - love - by wtf - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was excited that my sister called me for the first time in months. She asked me to stop watching "Friends" so she could use the Netflix account. Now, I still have an absentee sister and no Friends. FML

#21346655
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14581) - you deserved it (1607)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)



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