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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got a new cat. It was fine for a couple of hours until it gave birth in my kitchen. The seller claims to have no idea that it was pregnant. Now I have to take care of 7 cats instead of 2. FML

#20676137
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1375) - you deserved it (216)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:23pm - animals - by catcraze - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was notified that the company did not give me a raise two months ago like I thought. The increase was a typo. Two months ago I wrote a thank you for the raise email to my boss. Now I get to write a check to the company to pay back my "raise." FML

#20676088
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1395) - you deserved it (92)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:07pm - work - by Check Writer - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my husband making out with his accountant, the same woman who comforted me when he cheated on me the year before. FML

#20675748
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22516) - you deserved it (5950)

On 05/20/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Welshite's comment : Once a cheater, always a cheater.

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Today, I have an upset stomach. Every other minute, it sounds like Chewbacca is screaming to get out. FML

#20675696
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16303) - you deserved it (1877)

On 05/20/2013 at 4:14pm - health - by pixkalexi - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my fiancé and I were planning to move to a cheaper apartment which my mother agreed to rent us. She was very supportive and excited that we'd be closer, and it was great until she gave us a list of books, movies, games, etc. that we can't bring because they're "demonic". FML

Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML

#20675286
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23958) - you deserved it (1856)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:02pm - misc - by well okay then - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML

#20675279
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23659) - you deserved it (1682)

On 05/20/2013 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

japtap81's comment : I don't think I'd want to know

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Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML

#20675025
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26894) - you deserved it (1667)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:57am - kids - by AuntPeePee - United States

Today, I beat my extremely competitive friend in a game of pool. He responded by breaking a pool stick over my head. FML

#20674823
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26616) - you deserved it (3444)

On 05/20/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by soreloser (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, my allergies started up with a vengeance. Yesterday I broke 4 ribs and fractured my sternum. Every time I sneeze, I swear I can feel the broken bones move around. FML

#20674768
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28110) - you deserved it (1615)

On 05/20/2013 at 1:44am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I'm planning my big sister's wedding. My long-term, live-in boyfriend walked by and saw me looking at the wedding tab on Pinterest, smirked, and said, "Don't get your hopes up." I had. FML

#20674650
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30804) - you deserved it (4692)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:47am - love - by ForeverAlone (woman) - United States

Today, my parents posted on Facebook that they were excited that my sister was pregnant and couldn't wait to be grandparents. Last week I told them that I, a 33-year-old happily married woman, was pregnant and they told me I was ruining my life and encouraged me to have an abortion. FML

#20674602
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35634) - you deserved it (1784)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by pregnant loser apparently (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I went for a walk. When it started pouring, I ran under the nearest tree for protection. It didn't occur to me that it might look suspicious hiding under a stranger's tree in a black hoodie, until the cops showed up. FML

#20673625
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26944) - you deserved it (3785)

On 05/19/2013 at 7:07pm - misc - by black hoodie - United States (Massachusetts)



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