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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML

#21434600
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4233) - you deserved it (661)

On 06/30/2015 at 10:40pm - work - by stink - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learned I don't have a yeast infection. I have herpes. FML

#21434596
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4124) - you deserved it (937)

On 06/30/2015 at 10:21pm - health - by quiet_screaming_ - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a dog bit me on the bus. Instead of apologising, its owner said it was my fault because, 'my hands must smell of meat'. I'm a vegetarian. FML

#21434496
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5283) - you deserved it (423)

On 06/30/2015 at 6:19pm - animals - by A - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I went on a Segway tour in Budapest. The Segways have an automatic speed limiter, and to release it and get back to normal speed, you have to brake. Unfortunately, I forgot my speed limiter was on and so, while trying to break, I instead returned to normal speed and crashed into a tree. FML

#21434457
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4503) - you deserved it (921)

On 06/30/2015 at 4:31pm - misc - by infrontofninepeople - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, while alone in the childcare centre I work at, one of the children farted bad enough to trigger my morning sickness. Because I was alone, I couldn't leave the room, which resulted in me throwing up into a 2-year-old-sized toilet, while 12 toddlers either watched or ran wild. FML

#21434454
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5059) - you deserved it (369)

On 06/30/2015 at 4:26pm - work - by sickatwokr - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my husband asked me to buy a different brand of dish soap, as the one he was using wasn't working. After a quick look, I had to agree. The lemon cordial he had been using, while tasting nice, didn't really help clean the dishes. FML

Today, my docile gerbil was startled by a car alarm. He dove into my tank top and bit straight through my nipple. FML

#21434340
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12215) - you deserved it (1216)

On 06/30/2015 at 12:02pm - animals - by piercednipple (woman) - United States (Virginia)

jimmer23's comment : My nipples hurt from all the way over here.

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Today, at my job at a ceramics store, I was loading a $300 statuette into a woman's car when I saw a dismembered foot in the trunk. I was so startled that I dropped the statuette and it shattered. Turns out the foot was fake and now my boss says I have to pay for the damage. FML

#21434324
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11773) - you deserved it (2920)

On 06/30/2015 at 11:33am - work - by AIienware -

Today, I was at my best friend's wedding. As she threw the bouquet, I was punched in the face by another bridesmaid. Later, as I was explaining what had happened, I punched myself in the face. FML

#21434280
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13623) - you deserved it (4119)

On 06/30/2015 at 8:56am - love - by Anonymous - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, my intern was given his own office. I have been asking to move out of my cubicle for nearly four years. FML

#21434251
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15980) - you deserved it (1290)

On 06/30/2015 at 5:57am - work - by bosslady (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, the man that I have a crush on finally touched me. This would have been great, if not for the fact that it was to roll me on my side while I was having a seizure. FML

#21434226
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15798) - you deserved it (978)

On 06/30/2015 at 3:51am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

StormGirl142's comment : At least you know he cares enough not to let you die, I guess. Hope you're okay.

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Today, my boss is on the phone with a Russian customer, who keeps saying, "Speak Russian please!" My boss asks me to translate, as he hired me for my knowledge of Russian. He says something, I translate in Russian, then the customer says, "Speak English please!" FML

#21434188
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15601) - you deserved it (1202)

On 06/30/2015 at 2:18am - work - by Claudine (woman) - Belgium (Liege)

Airshock22's comment : I've heard of a language barrier before, but not a language revolving door.

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Today, my 3-year-old pooped his pants in a public bathroom. As I was squatting down, doing my best to clean poop off of his legs and the floor, a wasp flew up my pant leg. I was stung four times before I danced it out of my pants. FML

#21433955
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15928) - you deserved it (1004)

On 06/29/2015 at 5:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)



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