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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

#21366627
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1745) - you deserved it (6652)

On 03/02/2015 at 3:40pm - health - by teapotrevolt - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, after many tests and doctor visits, I finally found out the reason for my flu-like symptoms isn't a vitamin deficient or anything. The damn tea I drink every morning makes me feel sick. FML

Today, I realized I hate my boyfriend's little sister enough to break up with him. FML

#21366485
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5973) - you deserved it (1276)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:31am - love - by sorry... - United States (Delaware)

Today, my ex gave me a heartwarming speech about how much he wanted me back. After talking for hours and me finally wanting to get back together too, he started mentioning a date he has with a cute colleague. Conclusion: he wants to get back together, but still be able to fuck the entire world. FML

#21366438
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13599) - you deserved it (1261)

On 03/02/2015 at 9:04am - intimacy - by donotbelieveinsecondchances (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

WCARlover's comment : Exes are exes for a reason

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Today, I fell out of a window while trying to close it so no one would fall out. FML

#21366431
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12888) - you deserved it (1900)

On 03/02/2015 at 8:26am - misc - by meeeee! - United States (Delaware)

Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML

#21366308
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15899) - you deserved it (1305)

On 03/02/2015 at 12:14am - intimacy - by dickofbrokendreams - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was turned down from the dream job that I was promised two years ago, once my chemo and radiation therapy was finished. His excuse? He never actually expected me to survive. FML

#21366066
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23526) - you deserved it (1075)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:36pm - work - by kysier (man) - United States (Kentucky)

adamjcurryy's comment : It hurts just reading this.

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Today, I moved to a big city, alone, from a small town. After convincing myself it wasn't that scary, I hailed my first cab. The driver spent the 30 minute ride from the airport telling me about how "sometimes, you just gotta shoot a guy" because if they steal your shoes, they deserve it. FML

#21366058
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15994) - you deserved it (1462)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:22pm - misc - by smalltownkid - United States (Texas)

Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML

#21365913
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21766) - you deserved it (4498)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by love and tolerape, apparently (man) - India (Jharkhand)

SkyGuy32's comment : Maybe you're just subconsciously a brony.

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Today, my sister came out of the closet. By which I mean she came out as the pregnant mother of my boyfriend's child. FML

#21365896
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25009) - you deserved it (1745)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for another girl, via a text message ending with "No hard feelings. Well xcept 4 my cock obvs. ;)" Fuck you, Rick. FML

#21365892
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24983) - you deserved it (1918)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, while on the train heading to my new job, my coat caught between two seats. I didn't notice until my stop. I whacked myself in the face in front of everyone trying to get it free, and ended up missing my stop. When I finally got to work, I was told not to bother coming in again. FML

#21365771
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23450) - you deserved it (1869)

On 03/01/2015 at 8:31am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my drunken mom began to frantically scream "YEAH" "WOO HOO" and "ALRIGHT" at some kindergarteners that were singing Amazing Grace in honor of a restaurant owner who had recently died. FML

#21365671
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24240) - you deserved it (1737)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:07am - misc - by RadioactiveKush - United States (Georgia)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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Friday 27 February 2015

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