Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my little sister was being picked on by some kids. After seeing one push her, I went over to talk to them about how bullying isn't cool and how they need to play nice. They beat me up. I'm 22 years old and got beat up by a group of 10 year olds. FML

#21218239
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2485) - you deserved it (633)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got the, "It's not you, it's me" speech for the third breakup in a row. I'm beginning to think that they may not be entirely telling me the truth. FML

#21217897
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13907) - you deserved it (1875)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:09am - love - by swiggityswooty - United States (California)

Today, I managed to punch a customer's child as he walked around the corner just as I enthusiastically pointed his mother in the direction of what she was looking for. FML

#21217892
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15648) - you deserved it (142)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:04am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13697) - you deserved it (4550)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boss is still refusing to hire any more people because he's convinced I can handle all of the work after the majority of staff quit. FML

#21217678
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16700) - you deserved it (141)

On 07/22/2014 at 8:51pm - work - by Inthedumps (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got in a minor car accident because my mom had to check how many likes her last photo on Instagram had while driving. FML

#21217675
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16766) - you deserved it (1354)

On 07/22/2014 at 8:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML

#21217633
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9106) - you deserved it (23357)

On 07/22/2014 at 7:20pm - health - by dypshyyt - United States (Florida)

Today, I was prepping for an interview after several months of unemployment. I had just finished brushing my teeth when I reached back and grabbed a towel behind me to wipe my face. Turns out it wasn't a towel, it was my newly dry-cleaned suit jacket that my wife had put there for me. FML

#21217564
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16480) - you deserved it (4707)

On 07/22/2014 at 5:55pm - work - by Infadel - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

#21217343
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3149) - you deserved it (28222)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

ihaveasushicat's comment : I think it's time to have a really long talk with your daughter...

See all the comments →

Today, I found the iPod touch that my mother claimed was stolen at the mall a few years ago, lying on her bed, still logged in to her Facebook. Thanks, mom. FML

#21217252
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30388) - you deserved it (226)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:54am - misc - by d4rkxf0x - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

#21217074
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28993) - you deserved it (4742)

On 07/22/2014 at 4:44am - love - by and the truth comes out (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend said we can't have sex with the light on anymore. He said he can never finish because the face I make when I orgasm makes him laugh. FML

#21216984
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2126) - you deserved it (18464)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:55am - intimacy - by teegtwo (woman) - United States

Welshite's comment : Start wearing masks. Batman is pretty awesome.

See all the comments →

Today, I discovered that the odd creaking noise I hear when I walk down the stairs is actually a crack that had been getting larger over the years. I found out when I fell through and plummeted to the stairs below. FML

#21216856
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29645) - you deserved it (3695)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:46pm - misc - by Oldhouse (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: