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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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The Illustrated FML

Today, at my wedding, my husband's drunk friend admitted that the only reason my husband and I started dating was because he was dared. FML

#19644675 (46)

I agree, your life sucks (615) - you deserved it (65)

On 05/19/2012 at 12:17am - love - by Asdf649 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the "My body is beautiful" t-shirt that my therapist gave me didn't fit. FML

#19644277 (53)

I agree, your life sucks (625) - you deserved it (186)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:46pm - health - by msassy - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML

#19644251 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (1458) - you deserved it (338)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:41pm - money - by me (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML

#19644212 (70)

I agree, your life sucks (1509) - you deserved it (134)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my mother described what her ideal daughter-in-law should be like. Half-way through her description, fishing for some compliments, I told her that such a girl would be way above my league. She sighed and emphatically agreed. FML

#19643133 (51)

I agree, your life sucks (2059) - you deserved it (877)

On 05/18/2012 at 6:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, after weeks of sorting, inspecting, and waiting, my high school's yearbooks were distributed. I'd searched carefully for photo errors and was proud to say there were none. That is, until someone told me that a boy on the last page was flipping the camera the bird. FML

#19642956 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (1717) - you deserved it (407)

On 05/18/2012 at 5:50pm - misc - by ooh cat - United States (California)

Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML

#19642292 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (3146) - you deserved it (328)

On 05/18/2012 at 3:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my fiancé emailed me some steamy pics. Too bad he forgot to erase "FWD:" from the subject line. FML

#19641657 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (2578) - you deserved it (198)

On 05/18/2012 at 12:05pm - love - by ohyesIfeelspecial (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML

#19641486 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (2651) - you deserved it (552)

On 05/18/2012 at 11:05am - love - by Great. (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML

#19641324 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (2807) - you deserved it (634)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:13am - kids - by 23yearoldtoddler - United States

Today, I sat down on a chair after my very large boss sat on it all day. When I got up, my pants were damp. FML

#19640975 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (3592) - you deserved it (319)

On 05/18/2012 at 7:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML

#19640630 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (828) - you deserved it (7123)

On 05/18/2012 at 3:41am - health - by TLJ321 -

Today, I came home to find a note on my door from the neighbor saying "I saw a coyote eat your dog, but was afraid it was rabid." FML

#19640596 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (4379) - you deserved it (337)

On 05/18/2012 at 3:22am - animals - by nick - United States



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