Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, after I got home from a long day at work. I go inside my room and find a life-size cut out of Miley Cyrus. I don't know how it got here. I'm the only person with a key to my apartment. FML

#21345231
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (817) - you deserved it (54)

On 01/27/2015 at 6:46pm - misc - by I'm screwed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was getting a haircut. During the haircut, the barber cut her hand. She hesitated for a minute then continued to run her hands through and cut my hair with her bloody fingers. FML

#21345207
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (768) - you deserved it (46)

On 01/27/2015 at 6:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boss expected me to corroborate her lie to a customer. She changed her story suddenly and I got caught up in the crosshairs. Then she got mad at me for not understanding what just happened. FML

#21345151
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (923) - you deserved it (79)

On 01/27/2015 at 4:17pm - work - by morning_glory - United States (California)

Today, it's been five days since my roommate last talked to me. Although she's not communicating with me verbally, she's excelling at non-verbal communication: slamming doors and drawers, and watching loud videos, all while I desperately try to study. FML

#21345047
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10007) - you deserved it (957)

On 01/27/2015 at 11:12am - misc - by NoTalkAllGame - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I shaved my beard in preparation for an important work conference. Now my dog won't stop growling and barking at me. FML

#21345020
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10005) - you deserved it (1182)

On 01/27/2015 at 10:09am - animals - by dogproblems (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out my girlfriend is bulimic. Like that wasn't bad enough, I found out because she spent all of our rent money on food. FML

amelitaliz's comment : She needs help and sensitivity right now. Poor thing. Sorry you have to go through this, OP!

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Today, as I walked on to the bus, the girl I liked whispered something to her friend. Curious, I asked what was so funny. She said she never realized that when I got on, I shook the bus. FML

#21345001
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13196) - you deserved it (1653)

On 01/27/2015 at 9:02am - love - by Nat3_2020 - United States

Today, returning home from a party, I realised I'd forgotten my keys. My roommate was sleeping so soundly that after an hour of throwing gravel and ringing the doorbell, I had to give up and get a room at the hotel over the road. For €85 I had a view of my room. FML

#21345042
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12424) - you deserved it (3033) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/27/2015 at 6:45am - money - by LadyGrey -

Today, my dad and I were having a conversation about boneless chicken. He told me that they are raised boneless, going into detail, and I bought every word of it. Not until he started laughing did I realize how gullible I really am. I'm 22. FML

#21344889
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8270) - you deserved it (15046)

On 01/27/2015 at 12:43am - misc - by katrina2d (woman) - United States (Washington)

zAstonish's comment : I don't know about the chickens, but you may have been raised brainless.

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Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. It wasn't until the huge fight which ended with us breaking up did I realize that I was snowed in with him. One day down, two to go. FML

#21344752
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14560) - you deserved it (2230)

On 01/26/2015 at 8:47pm - love - by sleeping on the floor - United States (Connecticut)

zAstonish's comment : The awkwardness is probably directly proportionate to the amount of snow.

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Today, as a volunteer tutor, I met up with a girl who needed help with calculus. When I introduced myself, she wrinkled up her face and said, "I'd hoped you'd be hotter." FML

#21344749
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15749) - you deserved it (1137)

On 01/26/2015 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I'm at the unique point in my schooling that I'm either extremely overqualified or extremely underqualified for every job opportunity that appeals to me. FML

#21344707
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15142) - you deserved it (1281)

On 01/26/2015 at 7:19pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized why you should never wear a thong under yoga pants that are a couple of sizes too small. It's a weird thing, seeing your co-workers anus. FML

#21344664
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15092) - you deserved it (1635)

On 01/26/2015 at 6:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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