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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, a weird friend of my father's decided to visit us. Our house isn't very big, so when he went to the bathroom, I could hear everything. He didn't wash his hands after a massive dump, and when he came out of the bathroom he patted my face. FML

#21344428
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1988) - you deserved it (135)

On 01/26/2015 at 6:29am - misc - by Yuck - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had pizza for lunch. Later, I passed out in front of a customer. Now I get to explain to my boss that I fainted on the job because of heartburn. FML

#21344355
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3097) - you deserved it (1079)

On 01/26/2015 at 1:55am - work - by Thisismylife (woman) - Canada

Today, I went to work with a great attitude, something that doesn't happen often. It was shortly ruined after some lady yelled at me because I accidentally shorted her one penny. Yep. One single penny. FML

#21344188
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5688) - you deserved it (829)

On 01/25/2015 at 8:41pm - work - by WhyMe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that, due to the walls at my uni dorm being ridiculously thin, my entire flat overheard me lose my virginity. Spanking and all. FML

#21344108
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9340) - you deserved it (2981)

On 01/25/2015 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by Orgasmataz (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

oathkeeper99's comment : Doesn't matter, had sex?

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Today, a man asked me to put a ring in a bread roll so he could propose to his girlfriend. I said I would and he gave me a twenty dollar tip. My shift ended and I went home. What was in my pocket? The ring. FML

#21344065
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5481) - you deserved it (11889)

On 01/25/2015 at 3:37pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

bettyxoxo's comment : ydi for being irresponsible

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Today, I had a job interview. The interviewer blatantly farted as I sat down, then she sneered, "Making yourself comfortable, I see..." FML

#21344008
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16138) - you deserved it (1125)

On 01/25/2015 at 1:21pm - work - by fartje - Netherlands

tony1891's comment : this is the part of the interview that you say...yes. i am flatulent in 6 different languages.

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Today, I bought an electric toothbrush because they're supposed to be a lot healthier than regular ones. My crazy religious mom immediately called me a whore and said she knew what I really wanted to use it for. So that's $80 in the trash. FML

#21343820
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15938) - you deserved it (1429)

On 01/25/2015 at 2:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I have to wear earplugs in my own apartment because my neighbor won't turn down his music. My landlord doesn't believe me because "people with disabilities can't be rude." FML

#21343763
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17094) - you deserved it (1161)

On 01/25/2015 at 12:01am - misc - by Earplugged (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom came into my room to yell at me because she thought she heard me having sex, saying I'm too young for it. I'm 23 and I wasn't having sex. The noises were from my dad watching porn in the next room. FML

#21343705
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17853) - you deserved it (1296)

On 01/24/2015 at 10:26pm - intimacy - by confused (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I noticed that my boyfriend's sister looks at my ass more than my boyfriend does. FML

#21343548
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18038) - you deserved it (2049)

On 01/24/2015 at 4:40pm - love - by whitebitch16 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my husband came home, drunk and with lipstick smeared on his face. When I confronted him about it, he just slurred, "Ah don't worry babe, it ain't mine." FML

#21343515
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22589) - you deserved it (1698)

On 01/24/2015 at 3:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I drove my dad to Walmart to do some shopping. His leg is still in a cast after an accident, so I helped him to the last mobility scooter. A guy whose only disability was clearly Fat-Fuck Syndrome then yelled at us, claiming he needed it more and that my dad was a faker. FML

#21343482
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23554) - you deserved it (1583)

On 01/24/2015 at 2:25pm - misc - by Elrond Hubbard (man) - United States

Today, it's been 3 months since my dog scratched my 9 year old granddaughter after she walked over and repeatedly kicked him. My daughter has disowned me and won't let me see my own grandchildren until I have my companion of 11 years "destroyed". FML

#21343453
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25239) - you deserved it (1721)

On 01/24/2015 at 1:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Giurgiu)



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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