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Today, my aunt, whom I live with, told me she is going to move out and demanded her half of the rent back, as she only spent two days a week there. When I told her that's not how rent works, she called my mom to tell her what a failure she had raised. Her own sons are unemployed drug addicts. FML

#21414120
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3512) - you deserved it (224)

On 05/22/2015 at 6:14pm - money - by Failure (woman) - Germany (Sachsen-Anhalt)

Today, my friends made a little game out of my OCD. They like to purposefully poke one of my arms so I immediately poke the other one. They think it's hilarious and now do it constantly. FML

#21414073
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3223) - you deserved it (442)

On 05/22/2015 at 4:11pm - misc - by danceinconverse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked into my boss' office to ask for a raise, and walked out unemployed. FML

#21414059
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6894) - you deserved it (934)

On 05/22/2015 at 3:44pm - work - by zheiraT - United States (Maine)

Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML

#21414033
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6585) - you deserved it (877)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, we were discussing evolution at the super-religious school I'm forced to attend. I mentioned homo sapiens, and my teacher mockingly replied, "You actually believe in homo sapiens? Hahahah!" The whole class started laughing. No, not at the teacher; at me. FML

#21414003
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7676) - you deserved it (496)

On 05/22/2015 at 1:10pm - misc - by homo fuckofftus (man) - United States (California)

iop330's comment : Just pretend a talking snake told you it and they should believe you.

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Today, was my first experience having sex. It was also my first experience with a condom breaking. FML

#21413990
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16601) - you deserved it (1879)

On 05/22/2015 at 12:27pm - intimacy - by Vexatious - United States (North Carolina)

Roxas_hearts's comment : About 9 months and it'll be your first experience with a baby.

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Today, and for the past couple of days, my girlfriend's father has been trying to help me think of a way to propose. I decided to rehearse first, and that's how my girlfriend walked in on me "proposing" to her dad. FML

#21413982
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15669) - you deserved it (1509)

On 05/22/2015 at 12:08pm - love - by SuchaDisapointment - United States

Steph_mmarie's comment : That sucks, but that's so nice of your girlfriend's father to help you out like that :D

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Today, it was hot out, so I wore shorts. My dad took one look at me and said, "Your thighs are so pale, it's like staring into the sun". FML

#21413979
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13022) - you deserved it (1491)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:55am - misc - by xolaurennnn - United States

Today, I found out my mom put breast milk in my cereal until I was 7 years old. FML

#21413959
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20164) - you deserved it (1845)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:17am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to ask one of my coworkers if we were supposed to return a client's teeth to her. I work at a jewellery store. FML

#21413953
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15870) - you deserved it (1306)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:02am - work - by grossedout (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML

#21413860
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11844) - you deserved it (13523)

On 05/22/2015 at 3:36am - health - by missko519 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my girlfriend of a week showed me her talent: shooting milk out of her vagina across the room. Goodbye dairy products. FML

#21413854
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19251) - you deserved it (2150)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by zzarzzur (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my flatmate wears my underwear. FML

#21413767
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17378) - you deserved it (1329)

On 05/21/2015 at 10:22pm - misc - by anon - United Kingdom (Birmingham)



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