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Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4349) - you deserved it (12444)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

ohjoy15's comment : It's really hard to feel sorry for you here when you opened an envelope that wasn't yours. Especially one that said "private and confidential" as a last chance warning. Totally deserved it.

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Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually let me know that she'll slash her wrists if I ever leave her. FML

#21365201
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8184) - you deserved it (633)

On 02/28/2015 at 11:23am - love - by great (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML

#21365151
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18049) - you deserved it (2049)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Pancakes017's comment : How romantic

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Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML

#21365080
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17175) - you deserved it (1105)

On 02/28/2015 at 4:04am - health - by Anonymous - Australia

Grenith's comment : Hop on the nope train to fuckthatshitville.

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Today, after struggling for over a year with it, and now having it medically confirmed, I told my step-dad about my depression. He gave me a disgusted look and scoffed, "Toughen up, cunt." FML

#21364994
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16149) - you deserved it (1931)

On 02/28/2015 at 12:22am - health - by fine (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

#21364983
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19588) - you deserved it (2733)

On 02/28/2015 at 12:03am - intimacy - by FreshDonuts (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mother confused the terms 'necromancy' and 'necrophilia'. We had a great talk about why you shouldn't have sex with dead people. FML

#21364935
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16083) - you deserved it (1416)

On 02/27/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by bobjope -

Today, I fell in the shower and the doors jammed shut. I was stuck in there for hours, waiting for my parents to come home. They had to open the door for me while I was still naked inside. FML

#21364892
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18995) - you deserved it (2067)

On 02/27/2015 at 10:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I broke my leg. My mom told me I still have to go to tennis class tomorrow because the course isn't refundable. FML

#21364862
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19451) - you deserved it (1370)

On 02/27/2015 at 9:25pm - health - by Ouch (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML

#21364742
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20791) - you deserved it (1521)

On 02/27/2015 at 5:23pm - misc - by pregz (woman) - United States

Today, I saw my grandma had registered on Facebook, so I wrote a welcome post on her wall. She replied "Delete." several times, then called me, accusing me of "hacking" her and demanding that I remove my name from her page at once. FML

#21364671
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20039) - you deserved it (1721)

On 02/27/2015 at 3:20pm - misc - by Y_Y (man) - United States

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

#21364648
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19191) - you deserved it (2062)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got to see my best friend for the first time in months. Her first reaction was to say, "Wow, you gained a lot of weight." I actually lost a fair bit. FML

#21364630
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23683) - you deserved it (2029)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:14pm - misc - by boyishgirl - United States (Alaska)



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