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Today, I found out that the reason why my boyfriend has been denying me sex isn't because he is scared of someone walking in on us. It's because his blow-up doll pleasures him more than I do. FML

#21417148
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11471) - you deserved it (1725)

On 05/28/2015 at 2:05pm - intimacy - by MarieAmber18 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

jessieluvxo's comment : That blows.

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Today, I received a promotional message offering a half-off deal on an expensive coffee maker. The only reason why I received the message is because I bought that same coffee maker yesterday and I signed up to their mailing list. FML

#21417141
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10433) - you deserved it (1074)

On 05/28/2015 at 1:41pm - money - by FFS - Cyprus (Limassol)

ellemacho's comment : return it and use the coupon on a new one

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Today, my daughter cried for ages after finding out that Nick Amaro was written out of Law and Order: SVU. She barely reacted when I told her that her mom and I are getting a divorce. FML

#21417105
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10123) - you deserved it (1201)

On 05/28/2015 at 11:40am - misc - by svunimportant - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got engaged. When I called my father, who is out of state for a few days, to tell him, his response was, "What'd you do that for?" FML

#21417009
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15193) - you deserved it (1456)

On 05/28/2015 at 3:04am - love - by jessiebear159 (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I called 911 to report a drunk driver. The operator yelled at me for following the guy and told me to get off the phone because I shouldn't be driving with a phone to my ear. FML

#21416830
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16525) - you deserved it (3934)

On 05/27/2015 at 9:28pm - misc - by drivingmecrazy - United States (California)

Solano2580's comment : Write down the plate number and give it to the bitch

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Today, I was let go from my job, because I "progress too quickly and there's no promotions available" and I "can find a better place to work at". FML

#21416754
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19147) - you deserved it (1291)

On 05/27/2015 at 6:27pm - work - by smyp - Lithuania (Vilniaus Apskritis)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend having sex with another woman. They told me to leave so they could finish, and that "we'll all talk this over later." FML

#21416749
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22045) - you deserved it (1487)

On 05/27/2015 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by hellno (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally found my watch after weeks searching for it. It was on my teacher's wrist. FML

#21416691
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18874) - you deserved it (1206)

On 05/27/2015 at 3:40pm - misc - by concom - Cyprus

Today, one of my students tried to bribe me $200 to change his grade. When I said no and told him he was lucky I didn't report him, he went to the dean and told him I offered to change his grade for money. I'm now suspended and under investigation. FML

#21416617
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27022) - you deserved it (2243)

On 05/27/2015 at 12:25pm - work - by UN4 (man) - United States

Today, some guy I passed in the street was so high out of his mind, he beat the crap out of me, thinking I was a piñata. FML

#21416582
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22007) - you deserved it (1867)

On 05/27/2015 at 10:21am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico

Today, my dad stood by and nodded in agreement as my sister told me that my clinical depression is "getting REALLY old." FML

#21416569
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21586) - you deserved it (2474)

On 05/27/2015 at 9:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I had to write my own notice for enforced redundancy because my boss just went on a two week vacation. He told me to just forge his signature and that, if I wouldn't do it, he'd just make something up to dismiss me on codes of conduct. FML

Today, I had a call to the rodent rescue I run. They wanted to know if we had any mice for adoption and how much they cost. I told them that we had over 30 mice, and that we don't charge but do take donations. They said, "That's fantastic! I've been struggling to find snake food that isn't frozen!" FML



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