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Today, I was sitting in my bedroom relaxing when I heard my little sister and my brother. Thinking it was cute they were talking again, I was listening. They were not just "talking", they were making plans on how to kill me. FML

#21383476
3 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61) - you deserved it (7)

On 03/29/2015 at 8:54am - kids - by M.SHUKRI - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in a public restroom taking a poop and as I started unrolling the toilet paper, the whole roll fell off the handle and rolled out underneath the cubicle door. I heard somebody laugh at me. Nobody helped. FML

#21383475
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49) - you deserved it (7)

On 03/29/2015 at 8:49am - misc - by ToiletRoll - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a calf kicked a needle straight into my arm hard enough to make me stab myself. The good new is I'm now fully vaccinated for cow diseases. FML

#21383435
5 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75) - you deserved it (7)

On 03/29/2015 at 4:54am - animals - by ihatecoldfeet (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, with the experience of sitting behind someone on a roller coaster, I found out pee is affected by gravity. FML

#21383398
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4428) - you deserved it (376)

On 03/29/2015 at 2:38am - misc - by Kryometric - United States (Washington)

Today, my best friend went to my boss and offered to do my job for half the pay. FML

#21383169
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4754) - you deserved it (376)

On 03/28/2015 at 7:44pm - work - by Haggis300 - Australia

Today, my older brother puked in the sound hole of my sister's guitar. He blamed it on me, and in revenge my sister beat me with the guitar. FML

#21383103
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7461) - you deserved it (557)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:30pm - misc - by Pukey - United States

Today, I found out that the creepy weirdo who's been sending me messages for a while is just my dad. His excuse was, "I wanted you to feel like someone would actually like you." FML

#21383075
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7296) - you deserved it (542)

On 03/28/2015 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be romantic to take me to a strip club for our 1-year anniversary. FML

#21382971
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12134) - you deserved it (1313)

On 03/28/2015 at 1:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had my first therapy session for the issues caused by trying to please my overbearing, paranoid, self-centred mother. The first thing she did after we started driving home? Ranting at me and demanding to know if I'd been "talking shit" about her to my therapist FML

#21382942
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11884) - you deserved it (838)

On 03/28/2015 at 11:50am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

nchic01's comment : sounds like your mother is the one who needs the therapist

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Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

#21382840
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24781) - you deserved it (1549)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Thenextguyover's comment : "Help! I've fallen into a vagina and can't get out."

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Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML

#21382751
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18995) - you deserved it (1266)

On 03/28/2015 at 12:39am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

HAMY's comment : That's some great parenting. sorry about the bed op

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Today, while at work, a customer refused to speak louder, despite me asking her to do it several times. As a result, I took her order incorrectly. The customer then finally decided to raise her voice, but only to yell at me about my poor listening skills. FML

#21382737
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20435) - you deserved it (1526)

On 03/28/2015 at 12:16am - work - by people suck - United States (California)

Today, I was uninvited from my own birthday party. FML

#21382721
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20452) - you deserved it (1826)

On 03/27/2015 at 11:42pm - misc - by BirthdayBoy - United States (Wisconsin)



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