Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I finally got to watch some porn after not being able to for a while. All I could notice in the video was how badly the participants were playing Snooker. FML

#21250464
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4088) - you deserved it (860)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

#21250455
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4769) - you deserved it (907)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, my roommate came back from camping. My toothbrush magically reappeared as well. FML

#21250056
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10049) - you deserved it (775)

On 09/01/2014 at 9:53pm - health - by germophobe (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I work at a bakery. As I was putting out some cakes with fruit on top of them, a customer asked me how we get the little hairs to stay on the raspberries, and if we glue them on. FML

#21249886
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12199) - you deserved it (965)

On 09/01/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by s0728 - United States (Texas)

Today, my hamster got loose from his cage. His name was Houdini. FML

#21249788
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23342) - you deserved it (6158)

On 09/01/2014 at 2:55pm - animals - by Houdini - United States (Texas)

hardonforjesus's comment : You tempted fate a bit naming him that.

See all the comments →

Today, someone, and I still can't figure out who, switched my shampoo with mayonnaise. FML

#21249696
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23311) - you deserved it (1936)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by mayoshampoo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my goat decided my hairstyle was so last season and restyled it for me with his teeth. FML

#21249670
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21721) - you deserved it (3739)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:22pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Enslaved's comment : Did you get a Goatee?

See all the comments →

Today, I wrecked my car because my mom texted me, telling me not to text and drive. FML

#21249597
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14322) - you deserved it (25961)

On 09/01/2014 at 10:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Lurulu's comment : Ironic, but still- you were the one still checking your phone. Next time just put it in "Do Not Disturb" mode.

See all the comments →

Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML

#21249416
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33425) - you deserved it (2494)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:34am - misc - by MLeguillon - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went out with my best friend to McDonald's for a late night snack. Turns out she lied to me and just used me to pick up the boy she likes so they could go stargazing. I'm now laying beside them as they look at the stars and make out. I just want fries. FML

#21249351
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31483) - you deserved it (3172)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:55pm - love - by emilyparker - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while eating cotton candy, a drunk person came up to me and said "HEY! COTTON CANDY!" And bit me. FML

#21249322
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27597) - you deserved it (2029)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, at my dining job, my boss told me the food was "technically illegal to serve," air quotes and all. FML

#21249316
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24805) - you deserved it (1868)

On 08/31/2014 at 9:56pm - work - by dining - United States (Iowa)

Today, I returned from my first paid vacation in the past 2 years from a place with no cell, or internet. I've just found out that our department has been downsized. FML

#21249182
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25213) - you deserved it (1726)

On 08/31/2014 at 5:51pm - work - by Happy Employee (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: