Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an extent that customers were starting to hate me." FML

by trollbot13 / 10/24/2016 at 5:39am / India (Andhra Pradesh) / Work

Welshite's comment : Look, man, I know you need their address for documentation, but following them home isn't the way to do it.

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Today, I saw the guy I've been seeing passing by my dorm. I called out to him, but he covered his ears and crossed the street. Well, at least I have ice cream in my fridge. FML

by oh I didn't hear you / 10/23/2016 at 9:38pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today I got a $60 parking ticket for not paying the $2.50 pay-to-park fee. I checked my bank records, which proved that I'd paid the fee, for the correct space too. The problem is the ticket is too small to contest in traffic court. FML


Today, my boyfriend and I fell asleep twice during sex. FML

by bandeek / 10/23/2016 at 2:52pm / Intimacy

Today, on my 18th birthday, I was mugged by 6 guys who beat the shit out of me and stole my phone and wallet. They could've just asked. FML

Today, I found out my request to have off on Thanksgiving for the first time in 6 years was denied, because I work the evening shift every year on Thanksgiving and that's convenient for everyone else. FML

by allidoiswrkwrkwrknomttrwht / 10/23/2016 at 11:59am / Work

Today, I finished a 700-page book for my law exam. It was the wrong book. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2016 at 6:12am / Pakistan (Punjab) / Work

Today, I went to a McDonald's drive-thru in just a shirt and underwear, thinking I wouldn't be seeing anyone. I got into a car crash. FML

by pantless / 10/23/2016 at 5:31am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was transcribing my manager's recorded orated memo, I heard an unmistakable grunt and splash of an impromptu "bathroom deposit". Seems my manager is economising his time like never before. FML

by Labro9 / 10/23/2016 at 4:20am / Work

Today, I woke up 2 hours early to go to the physical therapist my doctor referred me to. She did confirm physical therapy will help, but she doesn't treat my issue. She’s also the only person in my city who takes my insurance. FML

by Confused / 10/23/2016 at 1:05am / Health

Today, I broke my nose by falling on the cast I have on my arm. FML

by Anonyme / 10/19/2016 at 10:50pm / Belgium (Limburg)

Today, I found out the hard way that if you leave your sheets on the washing line too long, spiders will go and make their new home in them. FML

by spider-sarah / 10/08/2016 at 5:35am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous