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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my dad texted me, saying "My dicks so hard 4 u". I'm desperately hoping he meant to send that to his girlfriend instead. FML

#21434895
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9035) - you deserved it (524)

On 07/01/2015 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

colvindj's comment : look at it this way, at least it wasn't a pic.

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Today, our family dog died. A couple of hours after the death, my mother-in-law slapped my crying five year old son over the head and told him to "Man up." She totally refuses to admit she did anything wrong. FML

#21434878
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9500) - you deserved it (597)

On 07/01/2015 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

mikeman1744's comment : Bury your mother-in-law next to the dog

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Today, I spent nearly half an hour looking for my favourite pair of shoes. I ended up getting to pissed off that I accused my boyfriend of stealing them. He then pointed out that I was wearing them. FML

#21434871
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4478) - you deserved it (9192)

On 07/01/2015 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, we had a long meeting at work about how we are supposed to feel safe, and to come to the managers if we have any problems. I decided to speak up about a coworker that has been harassing me and several others. My manager laughed at me and walked away. FML

#21434786
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14294) - you deserved it (855)

On 07/01/2015 at 9:44am - work - by nevergiveinever - United States (Pennsylvania)

Welshite's comment : Next step: HR. Seriously though. Sexual harassment is so common and underreported. I've been sexually harassed and my manager witnessed and encouraged it. That psychotic idiot should have been fired, but I kept my mouth shut and suffered silently. Don't let that happen to you.

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Today, the only reason my husband agreed to marriage counselling is because he finds our therapist attractive. FML

#21434782
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14002) - you deserved it (1148)

On 07/01/2015 at 9:35am - love - by ouch - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML

#21434600
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15476) - you deserved it (2519)

On 06/30/2015 at 10:40pm - work - by stink - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learned I don't have a yeast infection. I have herpes. FML

#21434596
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15320) - you deserved it (4216)

On 06/30/2015 at 10:21pm - health - by quiet_screaming_ - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a dog bit me on the bus. Instead of apologising, its owner said it was my fault because, 'my hands must smell of meat'. I'm a vegetarian. FML

#21434496
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15960) - you deserved it (1250)

On 06/30/2015 at 6:19pm - animals - by A - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I went on a Segway tour in Budapest. The Segways have an automatic speed limiter, and to release it and get back to normal speed, you have to brake. Unfortunately, I forgot my speed limiter was on and so, while trying to break, I instead returned to normal speed and crashed into a tree. FML

#21434457
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12751) - you deserved it (2613)

On 06/30/2015 at 4:31pm - misc - by infrontofninepeople - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, while alone in the childcare centre I work at, one of the children farted bad enough to trigger my morning sickness. Because I was alone, I couldn't leave the room, which resulted in me throwing up into a 2-year-old-sized toilet, while 12 toddlers either watched or ran wild. FML

#21434454
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14499) - you deserved it (972)

On 06/30/2015 at 4:26pm - work - by sickatwokr - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my husband asked me to buy a different brand of dish soap, as the one he was using wasn't working. After a quick look, I had to agree. The lemon cordial he had been using, while tasting nice, didn't really help clean the dishes. FML

Today, my docile gerbil was startled by a car alarm. He dove into my tank top and bit straight through my nipple. FML

#21434340
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17207) - you deserved it (1730)

On 06/30/2015 at 12:02pm - animals - by piercednipple (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, at my job at a ceramics store, I was loading a $300 statuette into a woman's car when I saw a dismembered foot in the trunk. I was so startled that I dropped the statuette and it shattered. Turns out the foot was fake and now my boss says I have to pay for the damage. FML

#21434324
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16493) - you deserved it (3959)

On 06/30/2015 at 11:33am - work - by AIienware -



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