Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my roommate came back from camping. My toothbrush magically reappeared as well. FML

#21250056
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6074) - you deserved it (438)

On 09/01/2014 at 9:53pm - health - by germophobe (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I work at a bakery. As I was putting out some cakes with fruit on top of them, a customer asked me how we get the little hairs to stay on the raspberries, and if we glue them on. FML

#21249886
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8957) - you deserved it (712)

On 09/01/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by s0728 - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife thought it'd be hilarious to move all of our furniture two inches to the left as a prank to make me stub my toes. I'm pretty sure I've now banged the furniture more than I have my wife. FML

#21249869
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10086) - you deserved it (1009)

On 09/01/2014 at 5:16pm - misc - by chairbanger (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my hamster got loose from his cage. His name was Houdini. FML

#21249788
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21821) - you deserved it (5678)

On 09/01/2014 at 2:55pm - animals - by Houdini - United States (Texas)

hardonforjesus's comment : You tempted fate a bit naming him that.

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Today, someone, and I still can't figure out who, switched my shampoo with mayonnaise. FML

#21249696
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21940) - you deserved it (1797)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by mayoshampoo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my goat decided my hairstyle was so last season and restyled it for me with his teeth. FML

#21249670
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20670) - you deserved it (3532)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:22pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Enslaved's comment : Did you get a Goatee?

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Today, I wrecked my car because my mom texted me, telling me not to text and drive. FML

#21249597
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13599) - you deserved it (24743)

On 09/01/2014 at 10:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Lurulu's comment : Ironic, but still- you were the one still checking your phone. Next time just put it in "Do Not Disturb" mode.

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Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML

#21249416
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32558) - you deserved it (2422)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:34am - misc - by MLeguillon - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went out with my best friend to McDonald's for a late night snack. Turns out she lied to me and just used me to pick up the boy she likes so they could go stargazing. I'm now laying beside them as they look at the stars and make out. I just want fries. FML

#21249351
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30704) - you deserved it (3075)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:55pm - love - by emilyparker - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while eating cotton candy, a drunk person came up to me and said "HEY! COTTON CANDY!" And bit me. FML

#21249322
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27014) - you deserved it (1971)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, at my dining job, my boss told me the food was "technically illegal to serve," air quotes and all. FML

#21249316
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24301) - you deserved it (1829)

On 08/31/2014 at 9:56pm - work - by dining - United States (Iowa)

Today, I returned from my first paid vacation in the past 2 years from a place with no cell, or internet. I've just found out that our department has been downsized. FML

#21249182
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24715) - you deserved it (1690)

On 08/31/2014 at 5:51pm - work - by Happy Employee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to cancel my plans to go see my grandma, because I wasn't feeling too well. I called her to apologize, but she had trouble remembering who I was. When I told her my name, she said "Oh, the FAT one." Yes grandma, the fat one. FML

#21249110
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29420) - you deserved it (3643)

On 08/31/2014 at 3:27pm - kids - by TheFatOne - United States



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