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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML

#21365511
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3557) - you deserved it (330)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:47pm - intimacy - by k8thagr8 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I'm stuck in a taxi cab while the driver listens to a radio show about sex fetishes. Can't wait to look him in the eye as I pay him. FML

#21365302
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3056) - you deserved it (331)

On 02/28/2015 at 2:53pm - misc - by jojolee68 (woman) - United States

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5717) - you deserved it (18163)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

ohjoy15's comment : It's really hard to feel sorry for you here when you opened an envelope that wasn't yours. Especially one that said "private and confidential" as a last chance warning. Totally deserved it.

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Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually let me know that she'll slash her wrists if I ever leave her. FML

#21365201
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11370) - you deserved it (878)

On 02/28/2015 at 11:23am - love - by great (man) - United States (Texas)

kangx1's comment : Just casually lure her to an asylum

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Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML

#21365151
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20163) - you deserved it (2321)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Pancakes017's comment : How romantic

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Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML

#21365080
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19208) - you deserved it (1245)

On 02/28/2015 at 4:04am - health - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, after struggling for over a year with it, and now having it medically confirmed, I told my step-dad about my depression. He gave me a disgusted look and scoffed, "Toughen up, cunt." FML

#21364994
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18084) - you deserved it (2154)

On 02/28/2015 at 12:22am - health - by fine (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

#21364983
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20852) - you deserved it (2915)

On 02/28/2015 at 12:03am - intimacy - by FreshDonuts (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mother confused the terms 'necromancy' and 'necrophilia'. We had a great talk about why you shouldn't have sex with dead people. FML

#21364935
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17065) - you deserved it (1506)

On 02/27/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by bobjope -

Today, I fell in the shower and the doors jammed shut. I was stuck in there for hours, waiting for my parents to come home. They had to open the door for me while I was still naked inside. FML

#21364892
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19782) - you deserved it (2169)

On 02/27/2015 at 10:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I broke my leg. My mom told me I still have to go to tennis class tomorrow because the course isn't refundable. FML

#21364862
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20281) - you deserved it (1433)

On 02/27/2015 at 9:25pm - health - by Ouch (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML

#21364742
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21444) - you deserved it (1574)

On 02/27/2015 at 5:23pm - misc - by pregz (woman) - United States

Today, I saw my grandma had registered on Facebook, so I wrote a welcome post on her wall. She replied "Delete." several times, then called me, accusing me of "hacking" her and demanding that I remove my name from her page at once. FML

#21364671
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20673) - you deserved it (1773)

On 02/27/2015 at 3:20pm - misc - by Y_Y (man) - United States



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Friday 27 February 2015

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