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Today, I held the door open for a woman and her kids on my way out of the bank. She started accusing me of patronizing her, and when I just let go of the door in protest, she deliberately leaned in so it hit her in the face. I felt the glares from the entire bank as she pretended to cry. FML

#21220355
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1305) - you deserved it (97)

On 07/25/2014 at 2:16pm - misc - by notadoorman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, there are people working in my bathroom. I have the shits. The only place I could think to go was in my cats litter box. I've used it twice and am now contemplating using it a third time. FML

#21220246
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3959) - you deserved it (570)

On 07/25/2014 at 11:54am - animals - by shewhopoopsinlitterboxes (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

#21220137
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8894) - you deserved it (17269)

On 07/25/2014 at 8:05am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Armed Forces Pacific)

TheZodiacKiller's comment : At least she thinks it's impressive

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Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML

#21219985
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7356) - you deserved it (19637)

On 07/25/2014 at 2:05am - animals - by fuckendog (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after months of job seeking, I finally got an phone interview request for a company. Excited, I prepared for the interview and conducted extensive research on the company. The interview ended within a minute. They'd got the wrong person. FML

#21219731
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19435) - you deserved it (1385)

On 07/24/2014 at 10:04pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went on a date with an extremely cute girl. About 30 minutes in, she excused herself to the restroom. I waited for about 20 minutes, then I got up and left. About 10 minutes later, she called asking were I was. FML

#21219603
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21214) - you deserved it (5680)

On 07/24/2014 at 7:24pm - love - by ... - United States (Vermont)

PenguinBitch's comment : First she gets fired from her job because she takes 10+ minute dumps and now this...

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Today, I woke up from a nap to find my little brother playing some games on my phone. A few hours later I come to find he had deleted all 500 pictures from my trip to Europe last month. He needed more space to download the games. Mom says he's too young to understand what he did wrong. He's 14. FML

#21219527
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24350) - you deserved it (2269)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:54pm - misc - by stupid older sister (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML

#21219507
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26028) - you deserved it (10313)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:23pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Meggston's comment : If you said that to him, I'd punch you too.

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Today, I overheard my boyfriend saying to his friends, "I never knew what real contraception was until I saw Laura's face." I'm Laura. FML

#21219482
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25972) - you deserved it (2322)

On 07/24/2014 at 4:51pm - love - by I don't condome that, babe (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28334) - you deserved it (14089)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got fired from my job. Why? Apparently taking 10 minutes to take a shit is too long for some people. FML

#21219077
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31584) - you deserved it (6006)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:05am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, the fire alarm went off at work. My office is on the second floor, and the door to the stairs were jammed shut. The only way out was jumping out the window. The best part was breaking my leg due to someone burning their lunch. FML

#21218720
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30948) - you deserved it (5871)

On 07/23/2014 at 9:34pm - health - by timv94 (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML



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