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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML

#20733111
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11742) - you deserved it (4041)

On 06/18/2013 at 11:02am - love - by Well, crap (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML

#20732995
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15109) - you deserved it (1306)

On 06/18/2013 at 9:06am - work - by Not a day over 35 (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I went to the gynecologist. In the waiting room they had decorative words that spelled out "Relax" and "Enjoy". FML

#20732921
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12085) - you deserved it (1160)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I learned that the money I work hard for on YouTube has been transferred to the wrong person's banking account. That person is my ex-girlfriend. FML

#20732776
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15787) - you deserved it (1932)

On 06/18/2013 at 2:35am - money - by Broccolliboyy (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

sarah6786's comment : YouTubetter figure that one out.

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Today, my parents took my iPad back to the store and exchanged it for two cheap knock off tablets. Reason being my little brother threatened to run away because I had one and he didn't. I bought the iPad on my own after graduation. They kept the difference in price. FML

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

#20732635
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22148) - you deserved it (1369)

On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

cmayer's comment : Maybe he didn't forget the baby monitor and he was just messing with you.

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Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML

#20732528
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15337) - you deserved it (2336)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by ProAwkward - United States (Texas)

Today, I was packing up my stuff about to go home. I shut off my MacBook but was still pretending to work for the last few minutes, typing on the keyboard. A good way through, I realized my co-worker sitting across from me could see that the Apple logo was off. FML

#20732510
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6845) - you deserved it (19468)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:55pm - work - by awk1 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I started my new job as a cashier for a drugstore. As I scanned some children's medicine for a family, I gave the girl a tissue because her nose was running. Later, my boss sat me down and told me there had been a complaint about a "female pedo-employee". I'm the only woman working there. FML

#20732082
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18437) - you deserved it (948)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

BimmerDriver's comment : Welcome to modern society where kindness is frowned upon.

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Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

#20731946
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24025) - you deserved it (14412)

On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

#20731669
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29683) - you deserved it (3623)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML

#20731650
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36887) - you deserved it (3122)

On 06/17/2013 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML

#20731460
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30355) - you deserved it (1687)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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