Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, my dad made my boyfriend and I break up. Not because he was a bad influence, but because I was. FML

#21464255
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1167) - you deserved it (269)

On 09/03/2015 at 7:31pm - love - by bestgirlfriend (woman) - United Kingdom (Stockton-on-Tees)

Today, I found my cat who's been missing for three days, sitting inside my neighbor's window. He won't answer the door. FML

#21464212
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3083) - you deserved it (190)

On 09/03/2015 at 5:14pm - animals - by Imissyou (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to complete a simple math problem to submit a web form in order to show that I wasn't a spam robot. I got it wrong. I'm officially too bad at arithmetic to prove I'm human. FML

#21464190
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3888) - you deserved it (1686)

On 09/03/2015 at 4:14pm - misc - by stupidrobot (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to create another signature. I have to use one at the bank and the other around my mother, so that when she tries to cash my paychecks the bank won't let her. FML

#21464185
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11560) - you deserved it (661)

On 09/03/2015 at 3:54pm - misc - by Why - United States (California)

jeepers_1's comment : the bank shouldn't let her anyway. Tell them that every time someone comes in to cash a cheque under your name that they have to take ID. That's part of the reason many banks won't take third party cheques anymore. Also your mother could end up paying a hefty fine/go to jail for her actions.

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Today, my mom called me a druggie after she found out I smoked weed once. She's now threatening to sell my car, tell my boss, and ban me from seeing my fiancée. I'm 24. FML

#21464117
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10309) - you deserved it (1431)

On 09/03/2015 at 12:30pm - misc - by kp - United States

xoxoblondee's comment : She should turn you in to the police, you pot smoking fiend. Clearly a danger to society! *comment overflows with sarcasm*

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Today, my boss found me on a dating app. He found it perfectly acceptable to message me and didn't understand why I wasn't comfortable with it. He now wants to have a meeting with me about inappropriate behavior outside of work. FML

#21463971
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14836) - you deserved it (1099)

On 09/02/2015 at 11:37pm - work - by ihatemyjob - United States (Mississippi)

teapotrevolt's comment : What's he supposed to say? He doesn't govern your life outside of work at all! Meeting is pointless. Lol

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Today, I discovered that my 100-pound Rottweiler is absolutely terrified of (drumroll please) orange peels. Yup. A byproduct of my lunch will turn this hulking monolith with teeth into a whimpering puddle of pee. FML

#21463927
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14252) - you deserved it (1186)

On 09/02/2015 at 10:30pm - animals - by pansypup - United States (New Mexico)

Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML

#21463909
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16305) - you deserved it (912)

On 09/02/2015 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my idiot kid brother set my shirt on fire with a magnifying glass while I was taking a nap outside. FML

#21463887
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15400) - you deserved it (1539)

On 09/02/2015 at 8:32pm - kids - by girl on fire (woman) -

Today, I had yet another debilitating migraine that kept me awake. In the middle of the night, I heard an owl hooting. Thinking it was cool, I moved closer to the open window to hear better. After a few minutes, I realized it was actually my new neighbor having loud sex. My aunt moved in next door. FML

#21463837
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15625) - you deserved it (1151)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:52pm - intimacy - by Hooty (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I brought home a new small glass necklace and put it somewhere I figured that the cats couldn't reach. I was wrong. Now I will be looking through kitty litter to find something smaller than a dime. Talk about needle in a haystack. FML

#21463835
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12751) - you deserved it (1945)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:39pm - animals - by Shay (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother called me a slut and unladylike because I prefer beer instead of wine. Apparently, beer's only for "unladylike sluts". FML

#21463833
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15064) - you deserved it (1310)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:37pm - misc - by BeerSlut (woman) - Portugal (Vila Real)

Today, after the doctor poking around my urethra and vagina at a lump. She turns to me and says, "I'm going to be honest, I have no idea what that is. Have some antibiotics and we'll see how it goes in two weeks." Excuse me while I go panic in a corner. FML

#21463826
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15345) - you deserved it (954)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:10pm - health - by freakingout (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)



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