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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I dislocated my toe while putting on my socks. FML

#21384619
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10106) - you deserved it (1444)

On 03/31/2015 at 6:54am - health - by billy - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got in an argument with an ex-girlfriend who kept tactlessly bragging to me about her new boyfriend. I told her to read what she'd sent me, then pretend her boyfriend was telling her that. Fifteen minutes later, her boyfriend calls me, yelling for making her feel sad. FML

#21384606
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11115) - you deserved it (1155)

On 03/31/2015 at 5:35am - love - by lucasbeck99 (man) - United States (Texas)

WitEluded's comment : The iPhone has a really cool feature where you can block numbers

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Today, I took my class to swimming lessons at the local public pool. One student came out and proudly told me that she'd pooed in the shower, but it was OK because she'd then picked it up and flushed it down the toilet. FML

#21384585
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10771) - you deserved it (761)

On 03/31/2015 at 3:40am - kids - by Teach (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, and pretty much every day, my co-worker takes off her shoes while working. The smell of her feet makes me dizzy. I don't know if she's oblivious to the fact that her feet stink, or she just doesn't care. It's affecting the quality of my work. FML

#21384560
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10636) - you deserved it (889)

On 03/31/2015 at 1:56am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Asia/Pacific Region

Today, it was my first day working as a dental assistant, leaving me in charge of all cleaning. The first patient was so scared, he peed his pants. Which might have been understandable if he hadn't been a fully grown man. FML

#21384513
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11318) - you deserved it (905)

On 03/30/2015 at 11:52pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I found out that when buying my $500 dollar dress I put my address as Austria instead of Australia. FML

#21384499
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12703) - you deserved it (6007)

On 03/30/2015 at 11:27pm - money - by post it - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to explain to someone that all beverages, except plain water, actually have calories. They weren't too happy that their milkshake diet was over before it began. FML

#21384468
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13141) - you deserved it (1003)

On 03/30/2015 at 10:50pm - health - by technical - United States (Washington)

Today, I needed to pee at my friend's house. His bathroom door is often left closed even if there's no one in there, so I knocked just to make sure. His stepdad opened the door stark naked. FML

#21384435
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14067) - you deserved it (1068)

On 03/30/2015 at 9:52pm - intimacy - by oops (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was working at a donation center. I was having a really rough day, so my fiancée dropped me off some cookies. At the end of my shift, the manager told me I couldn't take them home because they were donated and therefore they were "company property." FML

#21384262
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15533) - you deserved it (966)

On 03/30/2015 at 4:46pm - work - by bingalingading (man) - United States (Michigan)

Mightyrif's comment : You'd think people that work in donation centers would be nicer than that. FML OP

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Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML

#21384188
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19733) - you deserved it (1588)

On 03/30/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by noantiquesforme - United States (California)

leafeon523's comment : If that's the line he's going with, it's probably never been used. Truly a vintage antique!

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Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML

#21384025
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26781) - you deserved it (2151)

On 03/30/2015 at 6:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, while waiting for the bus, I googled walking directions to my destination, in case I had already missed the bus. I was so absorbed in my search that I missed the bus. FML

#21384017
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14506) - you deserved it (18435)

On 03/30/2015 at 5:19am - misc - by getoffthephone - United Kingdom

Today, a teenage girl with a selfie stick came into my workplace. She knocked down multiple displays while trying to take pictures, before leaving without making a purchase. I had to clean it all up. FML

#21383983
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24000) - you deserved it (1618)

On 03/30/2015 at 1:56am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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