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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had to sit through an entire conversation where my sister and her boyfriend sent voice messages to one another, of their farts. FML

#21449629
5 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76) - you deserved it (11)

On 07/30/2015 at 6:04pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I learned companies can legally lie to fire an employee, and unless anything they say is on record, they are legally correct, no matter how unethical the company is. FML

#21449623
2 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69) - you deserved it (11)

On 07/30/2015 at 5:50pm - work - by JippedWorker (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I just found my husband on Craigslist. He's working away from home, and he's looking to give a blowjob. FML

#21449578
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2763) - you deserved it (203)

On 07/30/2015 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was detained for trying to "illegally enter" my house, all because my parents forgot to tell me they were being evicted. FML

#21449546
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12399) - you deserved it (680)

On 07/30/2015 at 1:38pm - misc - by College_Grad (woman) -

Today, my young stepdaughter decided that she should store her coins in my laptop's card reader slot and in the CD drive. I just bought the laptop last week. FML

#21449535
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11192) - you deserved it (973)

On 07/30/2015 at 1:22pm - kids - by GidleyWife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to listen to my grandma talk about how she's "allergic" to toilet paper, and how she lets nature "take care of it". FML

#21449508
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11418) - you deserved it (717)

On 07/30/2015 at 11:30am - health - by WhatTheFuck - United States (Illinois)

Today, while shopping with my sister, she asked me to wait for her while she quickly said hello to a friend. I sat on a bench for an hour before I realised she wasn't coming back. Turns out "hello" had turned into a date. FML

#21449387
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16743) - you deserved it (1367)

On 07/30/2015 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was doing laundry while my boyfriend was sitting at the table playing on his phone. I glanced over and caught him watching my ass as I put clothes in the dryer. Trying to be sexy, I looked at him as I slowly bent over to put more clothes in. Instead, I hit my head hard on the dryer door. FML

#21449270
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16321) - you deserved it (4579)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:34pm - intimacy - by RuasaLove - United States (New Jersey)

jayennachristine's comment : Quit banging the dryer and bang him

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Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for smiling and laughing too much. Last week, he reprimanded me for not smiling and laughing enough. FML

#21449263
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16759) - you deserved it (1085)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:25pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up on the couch and realized I had fallen asleep while doing laundry. Ran to the laundry room, and found all my clothes gone. I really wish I hadn't been doing a load of all my pants. FML

#21449249
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15095) - you deserved it (1927)

On 07/29/2015 at 9:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

TubaTba's comment : The real question is who in their right mind steals a whole load of men's pants?...

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Today, at a baseball game, I smiled and waved at the little girl in front of me. She cried. FML

Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML

#21449227
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18457) - you deserved it (1035)

On 07/29/2015 at 8:57pm - health - by Crap (woman) - United States (Florida)

echarlotte's comment : a true fml

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Today, I got fired from my new job on my first day. Why? Because I'm 19 and company policy says you have to be 21. But they can't ask how old you are. FML

#21449086
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16635) - you deserved it (1523)

On 07/29/2015 at 2:40pm - work - by jobless and broke - United States (Arizona)



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