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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was visiting my childhood home, and I checked out my old treehouse. A family of skunks had made it their home, and I was promptly sprayed upon entering. FML

#20733333
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2399) - you deserved it (358)

On 06/18/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by skunked - United States (California)

Today, I cut my own bangs. I pulled too much hair to the front and ended up giving myself a mullet. FML

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

#20733192
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6151) - you deserved it (727)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out why I keep getting yeast infections after my husband goes down on me. He hasn't brushed his teeth in over six months. FML

#20733181
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7584) - you deserved it (1114)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:03pm - health - by ohthebreathmints (woman) - United States

Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML

#20733111
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16216) - you deserved it (5780)

On 06/18/2013 at 11:02am - love - by Well, crap (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

debbster7's comment : Why go all out when something as simple as you saying "will you go out with me?" would work? Save that shit for marriage proposals.

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Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML

#20732995
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19799) - you deserved it (1794)

On 06/18/2013 at 9:06am - work - by Not a day over 35 (woman) - United States (Alaska)

LaLince's comment : 29 = 38 since 2+9 = 3+8 = 11

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Today, I went to the gynecologist. In the waiting room they had decorative words that spelled out "Relax" and "Enjoy". FML

#20732921
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14802) - you deserved it (1437)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I learned that the money I work hard for on YouTube has been transferred to the wrong person's banking account. That person is my ex-girlfriend. FML

#20732776
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19108) - you deserved it (2376)

On 06/18/2013 at 2:35am - money - by Broccolliboyy (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

sarah6786's comment : YouTubetter figure that one out.

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Today, my parents took my iPad back to the store and exchanged it for two cheap knock off tablets. Reason being my little brother threatened to run away because I had one and he didn't. I bought the iPad on my own after graduation. They kept the difference in price. FML

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

#20732635
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25353) - you deserved it (1598)

On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML

#20732528
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17497) - you deserved it (2653)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by ProAwkward - United States (Texas)

Today, I was packing up my stuff about to go home. I shut off my MacBook but was still pretending to work for the last few minutes, typing on the keyboard. A good way through, I realized my co-worker sitting across from me could see that the Apple logo was off. FML

#20732510
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7672) - you deserved it (21879)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:55pm - work - by awk1 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I started my new job as a cashier for a drugstore. As I scanned some children's medicine for a family, I gave the girl a tissue because her nose was running. Later, my boss sat me down and told me there had been a complaint about a "female pedo-employee". I'm the only woman working there. FML

#20732082
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20641) - you deserved it (1086)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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