Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I went to the dentist for the first time in years. His first comment upon inspecting my teeth: "Meth. Hell of a drug." FML

#21395729
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1706) - you deserved it (498)

On 04/18/2015 at 12:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML

#21395685
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1664) - you deserved it (1246)

On 04/18/2015 at 10:38am - love - by fuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I read my 10-year-old sister's diary. That's how I found out about her disturbingly detailed plan to murder me, make it look like suicide, date my boyfriend after helping him get over my death, then marry him. FML

#21395572
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11651) - you deserved it (1346)

On 04/18/2015 at 3:01am - kids - by Anonymus (woman) - Sweden

gunnerblaster's comment : Crazy stuff but wtf are you doing, reading other people's journals?

See all the comments →

Today, I got into an argument with my racist brother after he opened his god damn stupid mouth in front of my girlfriend. He actually tried to convince me that he's not a racist, because one of his favorite types of porn is black girls getting fucked by white guys. FML

#21395531
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9704) - you deserved it (853)

On 04/18/2015 at 12:57am - misc - by assault and imnotracistbuttery (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to have a cervical biopsy. The doctor said I would feel slight cramping as she scraped cells from inside the cervix. I guess by "slight cramping" she meant I would shit, throw up, and then pass out. FML

#21395495
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14433) - you deserved it (911)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:15pm - health - by khaoslife - United States (Kentucky)

HarshD9619's comment : That's the equivalent of a dentist saying, "This won't hurt a bit."

See all the comments →

Today, my fiancé freaked when he noticed the tattoo on my wrist, and demanded to know when I got it. It was two years before we even started dating. FML

#21395494
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13201) - you deserved it (990)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:12pm - love - by pandapantsMD (woman) - United States (Virginia)

WCARlover's comment : Quite the observational mate you got there

See all the comments →

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my boyfriend when he started squeezing me as if I were a ketchup bottle. He said he wanted my period to end quicker, and he honestly thought that would work. FML

#21395407
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15972) - you deserved it (1398)

On 04/17/2015 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by dontsqueezemepls - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I coughed so hard that I fractured two ribs. FML

#21395325
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17577) - you deserved it (1345)

On 04/17/2015 at 5:47pm - health - by rachlette (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was playing Monopoly with my extended family. When my wife came home, she kicked me out of the game and took all my money and property. When I said she couldn't do that, she said "Sure I can. It's called divorce." Everyone laughed. Now I'm bored as hell, watching everyone else play. FML

#21395300
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17143) - you deserved it (1978)

On 04/17/2015 at 4:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boss showed me a two-page letter from a customer, complaining about me because I couldn't honor a coupon that expired in 2009. He agreed that I did the right thing by refusing it, but said it would be a black mark on my record anyway due to the complaint. FML

#21395274
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16551) - you deserved it (959)

On 04/17/2015 at 3:50pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina

Today, my husband accidentally erased some pictures from our hard drive. No worries, nothing major: just everything from our wedding and the birth of our first child. FML

#21395232
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23221) - you deserved it (2453)

On 04/17/2015 at 2:15pm - misc - by testom - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, my roommate and I are so broke, we resorted to going to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting just for the refreshments. FML

#21395180
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20049) - you deserved it (2633)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:50am - money - by jamongrande - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: