Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, the security at the airport were nice enough to remind me to take the laptop out of my bag. I wish they'd also reminded me to put it back in before I left. FML

#21250584
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17164) - you deserved it (4707)

On 09/02/2014 at 3:48pm - misc - by A continent away (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19099) - you deserved it (3535)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

zRatio's comment : She's definitily a Keeper

See all the comments →

Today, I saw someone purposely drive into someone's garbage can with their car. Trying to be nice, I stopped and started to pick it up. As I did, the owner came out of his house and chased me away with a knife. FML

#21250496
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17651) - you deserved it (1580)

On 09/02/2014 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I finally got to watch some porn after not being able to for a while. All I could notice in the video was how badly the participants were playing snooker. FML

#21250464
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16264) - you deserved it (3988)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

#21250455
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18690) - you deserved it (4033)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Welshite's comment : It was really a sexophone.

See all the comments →

Today, my roommate came back from camping. My toothbrush magically reappeared as well. FML

#21250056
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22557) - you deserved it (1801)

On 09/01/2014 at 9:53pm - health - by germophobe (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I work at a bakery. As I was putting out some cakes with fruit on top of them, a customer asked me how we get the little hairs to stay on the raspberries, and if we glue them on. FML

#21249886
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22543) - you deserved it (1857)

On 09/01/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by s0728 - United States (Texas)

Flaptrap's comment : Please tell me you told him yes.

See all the comments →

Today, my hamster got loose from his cage. His name was Houdini. FML

#21249788
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28754) - you deserved it (7819)

On 09/01/2014 at 2:55pm - animals - by Houdini - United States (Texas)

Today, someone, and I still can't figure out who, switched my shampoo with mayonnaise. FML

#21249696
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28412) - you deserved it (2470)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by mayoshampoo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my goat decided my hairstyle was so last season and restyled it for me with his teeth. FML

#21249670
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25550) - you deserved it (4462)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:22pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I wrecked my car because my mom texted me, telling me not to text and drive. FML

#21249597
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17120) - you deserved it (30449)

On 09/01/2014 at 10:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML

#21249416
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37011) - you deserved it (2814)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:34am - misc - by MLeguillon - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went out with my best friend to McDonald's for a late night snack. Turns out she lied to me and just used me to pick up the boy she likes so they could go stargazing. I'm now laying beside them as they look at the stars and make out. I just want fries. FML

#21249351
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34855) - you deserved it (3558)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:55pm - love - by emilyparker - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: