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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my friend thought she would "save me some time" by spoiling Game of Thrones. FML

#21288916
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (178) - you deserved it (25)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, the fire alarm keeps going off at my apartment. Not only is the noise ear-piercingly loud enough to wake the entire neighbourhood, there's also a big flashing red light in case the deafening sound isn't enough. This is my day off. It's going on all day. FML

#21288915
6 comments

I agree, your life sucks (175) - you deserved it (14)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:42am - misc - by Shutup! - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I came to the conclusion I have three kids instead of two, after having to force my husband to take a shower. It's been a week. FML

#21288837
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3024) - you deserved it (283)

On 10/31/2014 at 1:10am - health - by NoScrubs - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the girl on Facebook that helped me out of my sadness after my break-up and who I'd hopelessly fallen in love with was just a prank by my ex-girlfriend. FML

#21288808
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3713) - you deserved it (388)

On 10/31/2014 at 12:25am - love - by facebookdeception - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my ex-girlfriend started dating the guy she told me not to worry about when we dated. FML

#21288806
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10112) - you deserved it (923)

On 10/31/2014 at 12:24am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out the guy I've been dating for 5 months is engaged to his girlfriend of 3 years. I found out as we were talking, waiting for him to come outside after work. FML

#21288734
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9659) - you deserved it (714)

On 10/30/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by taylor w - United States

Today, my now ex-boyfriend actually tried to justify his cheating by saying it doesn't count as cheating if the girl's bisexual. FML

#21288568
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18265) - you deserved it (1347)

On 10/30/2014 at 6:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, my mom spelled my name with all lowercase letters. When I asked her why she wrote it like that, she got pissed and snapped back, "Capitals are for people who amount to something." FML

#21288559
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17667) - you deserved it (1864)

On 10/30/2014 at 6:05pm - misc - by wow (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

#21288518
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14349) - you deserved it (10171)

On 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

OkapiParade's comment : That sounds fapulous

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Today, I found out that there's a very loud and frisky couple living above my bedroom, and a family with a crying baby living above my living room. At this rate, I'll end up sleeping in the bathtub in my own home. FML

#21288322
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21101) - you deserved it (1595)

On 10/30/2014 at 10:15am - misc - by ineedsleep (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I told my boyfriend that it's time for him to stop blaming others and own up to his mistakes. He retorted, "Don't blame me!" FML

#21288212
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19935) - you deserved it (2273)

On 10/30/2014 at 3:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I tried approaching this cute girl. She quickly picked up the nearest calculator and started talking into it, in a desperate act to seem busy. FML

#21288185
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22657) - you deserved it (2336)

On 10/30/2014 at 1:38am - love - by 41yearoldvirgin - United States (California)

itwontvalidate's comment : if she was talking into a calculator it might be for the best.

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Today, I got sick at school. When someone called my mom for permission for me to leave, she told them she doesn't have a daughter and to never call that number again. FML

#21288116
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25795) - you deserved it (1750)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:58pm - misc - by thealaskanyoung - United States (Indiana)

clairecurses's comment : maybe they called the wrong number?

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