Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was talking to my mom about my issues with my girlfriend. While she was sympathizing, she slowly picked up my wallet, took $100 and left. FML

#21462595
4 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81) - you deserved it (10)

On 08/30/2015 at 2:29pm - money - by FranchezDeVista (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I watered a dying communal plant. I was fined $250 for littering. FML

#21462582
3 comments

I agree, your life sucks (151) - you deserved it (7)

On 08/30/2015 at 1:46pm - misc - by Waterer - United States (California)

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

#21462545
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13163) - you deserved it (935)

On 08/30/2015 at 11:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Nico_di_AngeloX's comment : What the fuck? Did your dad never learn proper gun safety? FYL OP.

See all the comments →

Today, I realized I could make more money being on welfare than I can at my current job. FML

#21462514
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11189) - you deserved it (824)

On 08/30/2015 at 10:09am - money - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that while my sister can somehow manage to keep an eye on and control her three preschool-aged children at the park, making sure nobody steals my dog from right beside her is just too big of a job. FML

#21462507
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9973) - you deserved it (1333)

On 08/30/2015 at 9:29am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I met my fiancé's much older sister for the first time. Turns out she is actually my old high school English teacher who used to make me cry at least 3 times a week. It's been three hours and I've accidentally called her Miss Willow 4 times and been reduced to tears twice. FML

#21462491
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16966) - you deserved it (1713)

On 08/30/2015 at 8:13am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (Utah)

Pizzapiggy1's comment : What kind of things would she do to you to make you cry 3 times a week!?

See all the comments →

Today, I was hit by acute food poisoning while attending a colleague's birthday party at his home. The toilet had a door that wouldn't close all the way, there were only three sheets of toilet paper left, and I had to walk home through town, in a dress, with my soiled underwear in a plastic bag. FML

#21462484
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13633) - you deserved it (909)

On 08/30/2015 at 7:29am - health - by monkeywrench (woman) - Sweden

Today, at work, one of the elderly residents dropped a turd on the floor. I went to go get the nurse but couldn't find her. Upon returning to the scene, another resident picked it up and placed it in my hand, thinking it was mud. Now my nickname at work is 'Nugget'. FML

#21462428
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13265) - you deserved it (1013)

On 08/30/2015 at 2:20am - work - by anon - United States (Illinois)

Today, my family was cleaning out our basement when I noticed an empty wall. I asked my grandma if I could put a picture up. She replied, "I don't want your ugly drawings on the wall". I wasn't talking about my drawings. FML

#21462394
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12572) - you deserved it (965)

On 08/30/2015 at 12:49am - misc - by Failed Artist - United States (Iowa)

Today, my mom saw a picture of the moon and asked me what "those big spots" were. She actually thought the craters were continents and tried correcting me when I told her what they were. Then I almost got into trouble for being disrespectful. FML

#21462353
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12870) - you deserved it (792)

On 08/29/2015 at 11:02pm - misc - by bornfromhillbillies (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML

#21462289
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13857) - you deserved it (1171)

On 08/29/2015 at 8:06pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML

#21462259
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16200) - you deserved it (1295)

On 08/29/2015 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

tldrDL's comment : *looks at location* yeah, exactly.

See all the comments →

Today, marks the third girlfriend in a row that has broken up with me for my terrible dandruff. I can't control it as I was born with psoriasis. All three girls called me pathetic for "making up" a disease to try to get them to stay. FML

#21462179
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16361) - you deserved it (1108)

On 08/29/2015 at 3:20pm - love - by babypenguin00 - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: