Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my boyfriend told me that my mom paid him to date me. FML

#21322112
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1833) - you deserved it (115)

On 12/22/2014 at 2:11pm - love - by koolkat9 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I asked my grandpa why he spoils me so much. He told me it's because he truly believes no one else will ever want to. FML

#21322081
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3044) - you deserved it (259)

On 12/22/2014 at 1:40pm - misc - by bxjxj - United States

Today, I spent a quarter of an hour trying to figure out why my car wouldn't unlock, then why my number plate had changed. FML

#21322036
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1878) - you deserved it (2134)

On 12/22/2014 at 11:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I decorated my boyfriend's house for Christmas as a surprise, just in time for him and his family to come home. Also just in time for him to tell me he's Jewish. FML

#21322002
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11435) - you deserved it (3921)

On 12/22/2014 at 10:04am - love - by cwhitney7 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out I was the top ranking sales person for 2014. What did last year's winner receive? An all-expenses paid weekend holiday. What did I receive? A ham. I'm vegetarian. FML

#21321989
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12366) - you deserved it (1258)

On 12/22/2014 at 9:24am - work - by Bahhumbug (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML

#21321894
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11946) - you deserved it (1971)

On 12/22/2014 at 3:05am - love - by ScottyB - United States (Massachusetts)

Econforthwin's comment : Well that is disgusting whether you hate feet or not.

See all the comments →

Today, immediately after being informed of the sketchy activities that take place in our store parking lot after dark, I'm handed an orange vest and told to go out there to retrieve carts. FML

#21321892
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10450) - you deserved it (862)

On 12/22/2014 at 2:53am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I waited thirty minutes for a bus that stopped running three weeks ago. FML

#21321887
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10997) - you deserved it (2411)

On 12/22/2014 at 2:45am - misc - by Stupid - Australia (Tasmania)

Today, since it's company policy, I had to go to the back of my small store to retrieve an item for a customer, even though I was working by myself. I came back to find that since she couldn't get into the cash register, she found and stole my purse instead. FML

#21321861
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13552) - you deserved it (1304)

On 12/22/2014 at 1:25am - misc - by Retailhell (woman) - United States

Today, my boss sent me a link on how to write a good resignation letter. FML

#21321621
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15884) - you deserved it (1389)

On 12/21/2014 at 5:02pm - misc - by scoold - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my school textbook's back cover ripped off. Not wanting to have my teacher find out, I glued the cover back together. Only after the glue dried did I realize that I actually glued the back cover upside down. FML

#21321598
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11585) - you deserved it (11790)

On 12/21/2014 at 4:15pm - misc - by WhoopsieDaisie (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss' new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off". She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML

#21321539
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23497) - you deserved it (2544)

On 12/21/2014 at 2:08pm - work - by anonix (man) - Canada

Kazze's comment : "Have you tried reinstalling windows?" "My disc drive is in 17 pieces, what the fuck do YOU think?"

See all the comments →

Today, I noticed that even though I got all my Christmas shopping done a month earlier than usual, I forgot to put anything in the mail. FML

#21321340
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19324) - you deserved it (5533)

On 12/21/2014 at 3:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: