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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went to a comedy show with my mom, and they asked the audience members to yell out their problems as ideas for an improv skit. My mom yelled, "My daughter can't get a boyfriend!" FML

#21222137
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19910) - you deserved it (1743)

On 07/27/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by Yeppets (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML

#21222166
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17616) - you deserved it (1971)

On 07/27/2014 at 2:44pm - animals - by Anonymous - Germany (Hessen)

Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML

#21222062
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26406) - you deserved it (2738)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by fingwhore (man) - United States (North Carolina)

BeeHMC's comment : I hope by girlfriend you mean "ex"

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Today, I had to go to the hospital to get blood taken. The nurse mentioned how pronounced and easy to see my veins are. I guess that explains why she missed five times in a row. I'm surprised my arm doesn't look like a heroin addict's right now. FML

#21222027
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19434) - you deserved it (1336)

On 07/27/2014 at 12:13pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found my 6 year old daughter upstairs lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving "the carpet a haircut." FML

#21221737
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20812) - you deserved it (2577)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:51am - kids - by ... (woman) - United States (California)

Today, despite all of the empty seats on the bus, a man sat next to me. So close to me that our legs touched. After a few moments of silence, he got closer and whispered in my ear, "You're so quiet." FML

#21221426
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27021) - you deserved it (1924)

On 07/26/2014 at 7:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Welshite's comment : That's your cue to scream. He won't be complaining about your silence after that.

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Today, I woke up from a horrible nightmare. What was it about? Me accidentally scratching a non-stick pan with my utility knife. FML

#21221361
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21721) - you deserved it (3527)

On 07/26/2014 at 6:09pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I went back to work after a vacation, only to find out I'll soon be forced to dress up as one of the princesses from Frozen to promote our store. FML

#21221108
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30335) - you deserved it (4276)

On 07/26/2014 at 12:29pm - work - by PrincessPromotion (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

ElricMustang's comment : I was going to say "Nothing wrong with that; sounds fun!" and then I saw that you're male... Good luck, OP!

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Today, I went to the mall. A little girl was walking around and telling everyone that they were pretty. When she got to me, she gave me a disgusted look and walked away. FML

#21221083
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34063) - you deserved it (3420)

On 07/26/2014 at 11:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my sister stole my phone, pretended to be me, and tried breaking up with my boyfriend. FML

#21221072
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33186) - you deserved it (3024)

On 07/26/2014 at 11:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I lost my wedding ring at work. It wouldn't be too hard to track down, except that I work at Heinz. If you find it in your mayonnaise, keep it. FML

Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I received was a bill for a piss test I took earlier this year. FML

#21220823
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29630) - you deserved it (2811)

On 07/26/2014 at 12:55am - misc - by birthday girl - United States (Ohio)

Today, I have really painful pimples on my upper lip. I'm a professional trombonist, and every note causes excruciating pain. FML

#21220657
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29765) - you deserved it (3537)

On 07/25/2014 at 10:06pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)



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Tuesday 22 July 2014

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