Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was the weird girl on the city bus who falls asleep then makes a loud, weird noise and wakes herself up. FML

#21284017
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (297) - you deserved it (43)

On 10/23/2014 at 9:05pm - misc - by pyrogypsy (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my wife got a new best-friend. It's my ex-wife. FML

#21283962
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (410) - you deserved it (43)

On 10/23/2014 at 7:30pm - love - by max - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

#21283844
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14325) - you deserved it (1058)

On 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by Alexismaria - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

#21283795
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14004) - you deserved it (1602)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I didn't make dinner fast enough so somebody had a yelling and screaming temper tantrum. It would be understandable if the person who threw the tantrum was a child, and not my 57-year-old father. FML

#21283737
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12660) - you deserved it (1072)

On 10/23/2014 at 11:56am - misc - by mnote (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my younger brother helpfully pointed out that I'm the only one in my family of five who is single. He's twelve. FML

#21283583
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20520) - you deserved it (1851)

On 10/23/2014 at 1:18am - love - by 20singleandproudish (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was passing notes in class with my crush. I started to pour my heart out and tell him about how I've liked him for years. I was caught by the teacher. He looked at it, laughed, and tore it up. He then looked at me and said, "I just saved you from years of embarrassment. You're welcome." FML

#21283544
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22003) - you deserved it (5759)

On 10/23/2014 at 12:04am - love - by Rachel - United States (Ohio)

sevazilla's comment : Think of it in a good way; maybe he did. Studies show that the average "crush" lasts for 4-6 month.

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Today, early in the morning, I got a knock on the door from the police. It seems my son and his friend had been caught throwing toilet paper at a neighbour's house. He's 23. FML

#21283412
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20645) - you deserved it (2142)

On 10/22/2014 at 9:33pm - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML

#21283288
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23651) - you deserved it (1685)

On 10/22/2014 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by BadLuckLad (man) - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

GigaPudding's comment : "...and your girlfriend" Sorry to hear that OP, cheaters are the worst!

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Today, I had sex for the first time with my first boyfriend. We broke up 6 years ago. FML

Bquillero16's comment : Well that's what I call taking it slow lol

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Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

#21283230
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20016) - you deserved it (2652)

On 10/22/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by CJune24 (woman) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, I got in an argument with my teacher for always comparing me to my sister that she had a few years before. After I said, "I'm not my sister so please stop comparing me to her," she responded, "Of course you're not your sister, I actually like your sister." FML

#21283210
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22822) - you deserved it (3366)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:55pm - misc - by Not so much of a teachers pet - United States

Today, I discovered that if you heckle a mime, it's possible that the mime will actually kick your ass. FML

#21283193
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10223) - you deserved it (23514)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by mr_cheese (man) - United States (Washington)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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