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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I sent the girl I like flowers, only to have her later post a picture of them online, saying, "ha when losers send you flowers". FML

#21435086
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (929) - you deserved it (72)

On 07/01/2015 at 10:04pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mother-in-law started chasing my kids around her house to make them smell her freshly-washed underwear. They were thongs. FML

#21435026
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1125) - you deserved it (75)

On 07/01/2015 at 7:38pm - misc - by bleachingmykidsbrains - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my flight was at the other side of the airport. I ran to the gate, to find that the flight had moved to the other side of the airport. So I ran again to miss my plane by a minute. However I did get a new flight... at the other end of the airport. FML

#21434898
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2934) - you deserved it (206)

On 07/01/2015 at 3:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad texted me, saying "My dicks so hard 4 u". I'm desperately hoping he meant to send that to his girlfriend instead. FML

#21434895
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14075) - you deserved it (866)

On 07/01/2015 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

colvindj's comment : look at it this way, at least it wasn't a pic.

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Today, our family dog died. A couple of hours after the death, my mother-in-law slapped my crying five year old son over the head and told him to "Man up." She totally refuses to admit she did anything wrong. FML

#21434878
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14879) - you deserved it (931)

On 07/01/2015 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

mikeman1744's comment : Bury your mother-in-law next to the dog

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Today, I spent nearly half an hour looking for my favourite pair of shoes. I ended up getting so pissed off that I accused my boyfriend of stealing them. He then pointed out that I was wearing them. FML

#21434871
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6657) - you deserved it (14776)

On 07/01/2015 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

eliotherbst's comment : Umm... this is entirely your fault.

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Today, we had a long meeting at work about how we are supposed to feel safe, and to come to the managers if we have any problems. I decided to speak up about a coworker that has been harassing me and several others. My manager laughed at me and walked away. FML

#21434786
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17540) - you deserved it (1073)

On 07/01/2015 at 9:44am - work - by nevergiveinever - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the only reason my husband agreed to marriage counselling is because he finds our therapist attractive. FML

#21434782
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16942) - you deserved it (1393)

On 07/01/2015 at 9:35am - love - by ouch - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML

#21434600
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17717) - you deserved it (2915)

On 06/30/2015 at 10:40pm - work - by stink - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learned I don't have a yeast infection. I have herpes. FML

#21434596
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17673) - you deserved it (4877)

On 06/30/2015 at 10:21pm - health - by quiet_screaming_ - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a dog bit me on the bus. Instead of apologising, its owner said it was my fault because, 'my hands must smell of meat'. I'm a vegetarian. FML

#21434496
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18100) - you deserved it (1457)

On 06/30/2015 at 6:19pm - animals - by A - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I went on a Segway tour in Budapest. The Segways have an automatic speed limiter, and to release it and get back to normal speed, you have to brake. Unfortunately, I forgot my speed limiter was on and so, while trying to break, I instead returned to normal speed and crashed into a tree. FML

#21434457
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14417) - you deserved it (2906)

On 06/30/2015 at 4:31pm - misc - by infrontofninepeople - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, while alone in the childcare centre I work at, one of the children farted bad enough to trigger my morning sickness. Because I was alone, I couldn't leave the room, which resulted in me throwing up into a 2-year-old-sized toilet, while 12 toddlers either watched or ran wild. FML

#21434454
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16369) - you deserved it (1104)

On 06/30/2015 at 4:26pm - work - by sickatwokr - Australia (Queensland)



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