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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found out why I was always picked up last from school. My parents didn't want the other parents to find out I was their kid. FML

#21449647
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (810) - you deserved it (57)

On 07/30/2015 at 6:35pm - kids - by Lonely School Kid - Canada

Today, I had to sit through an entire conversation where my sister and her boyfriend sent voice messages to one another, of their farts. FML

#21449629
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1511) - you deserved it (143)

On 07/30/2015 at 6:04pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I learned companies can legally lie to fire an employee, and unless anything they say is on record, they are legally correct, no matter how unethical the company is. FML

#21449623
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1545) - you deserved it (109)

On 07/30/2015 at 5:50pm - work - by JippedWorker (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I just found my husband on Craigslist. He's working away from home, and he's looking to give a blowjob. FML

#21449578
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4151) - you deserved it (301)

On 07/30/2015 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was detained for trying to "illegally enter" my house, all because my parents forgot to tell me they were being evicted. FML

#21449546
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13230) - you deserved it (734)

On 07/30/2015 at 1:38pm - misc - by College_Grad (woman) -

Today, my young stepdaughter decided that she should store her coins in my laptop's card reader slot and in the CD drive. I just bought the laptop last week. FML

#21449535
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11939) - you deserved it (1045)

On 07/30/2015 at 1:22pm - kids - by GidleyWife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to listen to my grandma talk about how she's "allergic" to toilet paper, and how she lets nature "take care of it". FML

#21449508
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12180) - you deserved it (765)

On 07/30/2015 at 11:30am - health - by WhatTheFuck - United States (Illinois)

Today, while shopping with my sister, she asked me to wait for her while she quickly said hello to a friend. I sat on a bench for an hour before I realised she wasn't coming back. Turns out "hello" had turned into a date. FML

#21449387
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17174) - you deserved it (1412)

On 07/30/2015 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was doing laundry while my boyfriend was sitting at the table playing on his phone. I glanced over and caught him watching my ass as I put clothes in the dryer. Trying to be sexy, I looked at him as I slowly bent over to put more clothes in. Instead, I hit my head hard on the dryer door. FML

#21449270
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16688) - you deserved it (4706)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:34pm - intimacy - by RuasaLove - United States (New Jersey)

jayennachristine's comment : Quit banging the dryer and bang him

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Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for smiling and laughing too much. Last week, he reprimanded me for not smiling and laughing enough. FML

#21449263
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17124) - you deserved it (1118)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:25pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up on the couch and realized I had fallen asleep while doing laundry. Ran to the laundry room, and found all my clothes gone. I really wish I hadn't been doing a load of all my pants. FML

#21449249
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15413) - you deserved it (1979)

On 07/29/2015 at 9:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

TubaTba's comment : The real question is who in their right mind steals a whole load of men's pants?...

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Today, at a baseball game, I smiled and waved at the little girl in front of me. She cried. FML

Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML

#21449227
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18731) - you deserved it (1048)

On 07/29/2015 at 8:57pm - health - by Crap (woman) - United States (Florida)

echarlotte's comment : a true fml

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