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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML

#21364742
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3791) - you deserved it (256)

On 02/27/2015 at 5:23pm - misc - by pregz (woman) - United States

Today, I saw my grandma had registered on Facebook, so I wrote a welcome post on her wall. She replied "Delete." several times, then called me, accusing me of "hacking" her and demanding that I remove my name from her page at once. FML

#21364671
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3730) - you deserved it (295)

On 02/27/2015 at 3:20pm - misc - by Y_Y (man) - United States

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

#21364648
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3521) - you deserved it (333)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got to see my best friend for the first time in months. Her first reaction was to say, "Wow, you gained a lot of weight." I actually lost a fair bit. FML

#21364630
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15455) - you deserved it (1132)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:14pm - misc - by boyishgirl - United States (Alaska)

tipsy2013's comment : You could lose another 130 pounds or so by dumping her as a friend.

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Today, I was feeling terrible so I called in sick to work. My boss refused to believe me and told me he'd fire me if I didn't come in. I dragged myself to work, only to spend most of the day glued to the toilet. Now he says I won't be paid for the day because I barely did any work. FML

#21364599
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16591) - you deserved it (1111)

On 02/27/2015 at 1:24pm - health - by Mark (man) - Malta

DocDrose's comment : He made you come in. he has to pay you.

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Today, I won a pool game against some guy. His friends started mocking him for getting his ass whooped by a pregnant girl who couldn't even lean over the table. He got mad, swung his pool stick at them, missed, and hit me right in the face. FML

#21364532
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17013) - you deserved it (1152)

On 02/27/2015 at 10:29am - misc - by MCForty (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

20bricks's comment : Seems like he wasn't exactly on cue.

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Today, my girlfriend and I were talking about times we'd made our mothers cry. She said she'd only made her mother cry once. When I asked when, she said, "When I told her I was thinking about dating you." FML

#21364495
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20052) - you deserved it (1798)

On 02/27/2015 at 9:13am - love - by shoggoth_wild - United States (Mississippi)

Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML

#21364342
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19019) - you deserved it (3352)

On 02/27/2015 at 12:28am - intimacy - by milked (woman) - United States

Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML

#21364287
121 comments

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up because we got into a fight over what color that confusing black and blue and white and gold dress was. FML

#21364239
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21962) - you deserved it (14044)

On 02/26/2015 at 10:07pm - love - by confused - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the neighbors called the cops because they heard "gun shots". My girlfriend and I were popping bubble wrap. FML

#21364157
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20648) - you deserved it (1648)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:35pm - misc - by We're still popping them - United States (California)

Today, the doctor let me know I have an autoimmune disease. The disease results in ulcers in my colon which bleed when I poop. I cried, but only when I was told that I wouldn't be allowed to eat cheese anymore. FML

#21364143
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20776) - you deserved it (1880)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:20pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was doing laundry, so I decided to wash my cat's blanket. He chased me down the stairs into the basement, and I slightly closed the door behind me so he wouldn't follow me. He pushed the door shut, which automatically locks. I was trapped down there for 3 hours until my mom came home. FML

#21364131
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17919) - you deserved it (3573)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:08pm - animals - by jynxisadouchebag - United States (California)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

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