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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my ex-girlfriend started dating the guy she told me not to worry about when we dated. FML

#21288806
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1822) - you deserved it (161)

On 10/31/2014 at 12:24am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out the guy I've been dating for 5 months is engaged to his girlfriend of 3 years. I found out as we were talking, waiting for him to come outside after work. FML

#21288734
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2000) - you deserved it (121)

On 10/30/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by taylor w - United States

Today, my now ex-boyfriend actually tried to justify his cheating by saying it doesn't count as cheating if the girl's bisexual. FML

#21288568
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13472) - you deserved it (920)

On 10/30/2014 at 6:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, my mom spelled my name with all lowercase letters. When I asked her why she wrote it like that, she got pissed and snapped back, "Capitals are for people who amount to something." FML

#21288559
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13121) - you deserved it (1333)

On 10/30/2014 at 6:05pm - misc - by wow (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

#21288518
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10604) - you deserved it (7824)

On 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

OkapiParade's comment : That sounds fapulous

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Today, I found out that there's a very loud and frisky couple living above my bedroom, and a family with a crying baby living above my living room. At this rate, I'll end up sleeping in the bathtub in my own home. FML

#21288322
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18838) - you deserved it (1393)

On 10/30/2014 at 10:15am - misc - by ineedsleep (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I told my boyfriend that it's time for him to stop blaming others and own up to his mistakes. He retorted, "Don't blame me!" FML

#21288212
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18087) - you deserved it (1991)

On 10/30/2014 at 3:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I tried approaching this cute girl. She quickly picked up the nearest calculator and started talking into it, in a desperate act to seem busy. FML

#21288185
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20819) - you deserved it (2108)

On 10/30/2014 at 1:38am - love - by 41yearoldvirgin - United States (California)

Today, I got sick at school. When someone called my mom for permission for me to leave, she told them she doesn't have a daughter and to never call that number again. FML

#21288116
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24302) - you deserved it (1634)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:58pm - misc - by thealaskanyoung - United States (Indiana)

clairecurses's comment : maybe they called the wrong number?

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Today, my skinny co-worker complained that sitting just underneath the AC vent was making her too cold. My boss had us switch places, because "your mass keeps you warm anyway". FML

#21288043
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21971) - you deserved it (3111)

On 10/29/2014 at 10:41pm - work - by OfficeFatty - United States

Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML

#21287735
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24356) - you deserved it (2414)

On 10/29/2014 at 3:39pm - kids - by lexigan4 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my dad vehemently refused to let me go on vacation to France with my best friend, because he watched Taken a few months ago and apparently forgot that it's just a movie. FML

#21287659
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24435) - you deserved it (3188)

On 10/29/2014 at 1:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

TechnicallyWrong's comment : Kidnapping happens all of the time. You never know, be happy with your dad because he obviously loves you.

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Today, I woke up to a text from my manager, saying "Hed's up dude, ur gettin fired tomoz. CEO's pissed. No hard feelins m8". Great. FML

#21287630
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25099) - you deserved it (1980)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:46am - work - by fired tomoz (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)



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