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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I told my boyfriend that it's time for him to stop blaming others and own up to his mistakes. He retorted, "Don't blame me!" FML

#21288212
3 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58) - you deserved it (10)

On 10/30/2014 at 3:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I tried approaching this cute girl. She quickly picked up the nearest calculator and started talking into it, in a desperate act to seem busy. FML

#21288185
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3567) - you deserved it (359)

On 10/30/2014 at 1:38am - love - by 41yearoldvirgin - United States (California)

Today, I got sick at school. When someone called my mom for permission for me to leave, she told them she doesn't have a daughter and to never call that number again. FML

#21288116
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8990) - you deserved it (553)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:58pm - misc - by thealaskanyoung - United States (Indiana)

Today, my skinny co-worker complained that sitting just underneath the AC vent was making her too cold. My boss had us switch places, because "my mass keeps me warm anyway". FML

#21288043
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8622) - you deserved it (1267)

On 10/29/2014 at 10:41pm - work - by OfficeFatty - United States

Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML

#21287735
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17882) - you deserved it (1635)

On 10/29/2014 at 3:39pm - kids - by lexigan4 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my dad vehemently refused to let me go on vacation to France with my best friend, because he watched Taken a few months ago and apparently forgot that it's just a movie. FML

#21287659
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18086) - you deserved it (2287)

On 10/29/2014 at 1:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

TechnicallyWrong's comment : Kidnapping happens all of the time. You never know, be happy with your dad because he obviously loves you.

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Today, I woke up to a text from my manager, saying "Hed's up dude, ur gettin fired tomoz. CEO's pissed. No hard feelins m8". Great. FML

#21287630
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18759) - you deserved it (1399)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:46am - work - by fired tomoz (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I watched as the teenage neighbor girl tried to parallel-park between me and my wife's cars. She was doing pretty well until she backed into mine, got scared, hit the accelerator and ran into my wife's. FML

#21287621
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26641) - you deserved it (1882)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:24am - misc - by carless - United States

Today, my little sister decided to color-in my favorite black-and-white comic book. It was worth over $200. When I told my mother, she said, "Oh that old thing? I thought it was a stupid coloring book you were too stupid to color." FML

Micah_Nobot's comment : Completely rude and ignorant of them sorry OP

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Today, trying to be a good role model for the kids behind me, I stopped and thoroughly checked both sides of the road before crossing. I still managed to get hit by a car. FML

#21287500
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24330) - you deserved it (4556)

On 10/29/2014 at 4:19am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had my first job interview. The manager asks me to sell him his pen. Thinking I'm all smart, I reenact the scene from the Wolf of Wall Street and say, 'Write down your name'. He calmly reaches into his drawer, takes out another pen and writes his name down. He then looks at me and laughs. FML

#21287428
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22708) - you deserved it (5759)

On 10/29/2014 at 12:55am - work - by shadysheikh - Canada (Alberta)

kayydb7's comment : That's when you laugh it off as a joke, then sell him the pen.

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Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML

#21287196
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23380) - you deserved it (2362)

On 10/28/2014 at 7:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my school put on a musical. I was one of the leads, and in the middle of my solo, I got a huge nosebleed. A little girl in the front row screamed. FML

#21287120
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22428) - you deserved it (1679)

On 10/28/2014 at 5:58pm - health - by Anonymous - United States



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