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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, at the airport, a lady bitched me out for changing her departure gate. She called me incompetent and accused me of "messing with people's lives" by "making them walk." I didn't change the gate, and the other gate was less than 10 feet away. FML

#21325932
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2313) - you deserved it (138)

On 12/28/2014 at 3:12pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a gift-wrapped package in the mail from my racist mother-in-law. She's always hated me, so I thought it was a bit strange. Inside was a squirt gun and a note telling me to take my "black ass" for a walk around a police station with it, followed with a smiley face. FML

#21325871
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2922) - you deserved it (204)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss sent me a word document that he wanted me to make into a PowerPoint presentation for him. It was a set of proposals for the board of directors about cost-saving options. The third option was to eliminate my position in the company. FML

#21325772
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2185) - you deserved it (117)

On 12/28/2014 at 8:56am - work - by HALIFAAA (man) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I was playing what became an extremely intense game of hide-and-seek with my best friend's sister. I finally found the perfect place, so I slid down into the bath and began to cover myself. She popped up out of nowhere and said, "FOUND YOU!" I got so scared that I punched her in the face. FML

#21325704
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10097) - you deserved it (2298)

On 12/28/2014 at 4:07am - kids - by angryman -

Today, my mom and I went to exchange a massive stuffed animal, which was meant for my niece. I was carrying it when I saw a really hot guy looking at me funny. My mom snickered and told him that I never go anywhere without "George". FML

#21325643
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10951) - you deserved it (959)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:52am - misc - by thanks a lot mom - United States (California)

Today, my mom finally got a Netflix account after months of me begging. When I asked her what the login was, she refused to give it to me. She said, "Netflix will know it's not me and then they'll cancel our account." FML

Today, I was rushed to the emergency room in crippling pain, thanks to a very dangerous cluster of cysts on my ovaries that could rupture at any time. My boyfriend took this news as my way of denying him sex and broke up with me for "going to obscene lengths" to emasculate him. FML

#21325566
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15396) - you deserved it (1160)

On 12/27/2014 at 10:50pm - love - by Twysted91 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Teddzz's comment : You shouldn't even be talking to an extremely ignorant jerk like that who apparently only cares about sex.

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Today, I didn't feel like going to work, so I called in sick. Five hours later while out shopping, I got hit by a car at a crosswalk. Now I'm laid-up in the local hospital, really wishing I was with the guys at work. FML

#21325487
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8791) - you deserved it (18875)

On 12/27/2014 at 7:52pm - health - by julichlove (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was waiting in line while a lady paid for her shopping, when her credit card got declined. She started ranting and insulting everyone and kept insisting: "I'm not poor!" By the time the old cunt had finally stormed off, I had spittle on my face, and the cashier was almost in tears. FML

#21325473
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15894) - you deserved it (1170)

On 12/27/2014 at 7:22pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was chatting with the girl of my dreams, a real heart-to-heart. Everything was going great, and I asked her if she'd like to get coffee together sometime. She immediately backed away and excused herself, mumbling something about not dating left-handed people. Huh? FML

#21325382
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15924) - you deserved it (1107)

On 12/27/2014 at 4:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

randomguy76's comment : How could you be so inconsiderate OP? It was entirely obvious that you two were never meant to be because of your dominant left hand. Geez some people....

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Today, I got into a fight with my sister. Later on she brought me a bowl of tortilla chips, which I thought was her way of apologizing. I found out too late that she'd licked the flavoring off them and it was really her way of saying "Fuck you." FML

#21325373
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19752) - you deserved it (2869)

On 12/27/2014 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I texted my girlfriend, saying "Hey there." She quickly replied, assuring me that she's not cheating on me. Uh, okay. FML

#21325320
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21248) - you deserved it (1649)

On 12/27/2014 at 2:14pm - love - by is_that_right (man) - United States (Texas)

sullivankeara's comment : Well she has some explaining to do.

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Today, my boyfriend sent me a screenshot of his phone's contact list, to show me the adorable photo of us he'd set as my contact image. I guess he didn't realize that a contact called "Side Babe" was just barely in the screenshot too. FML

#21325257
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23023) - you deserved it (1591)

On 12/27/2014 at 11:54am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



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