Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my fiancée woke up from a nightmare where I cheated on her. She has so far successfully gotten into my personal and work e-mails, and all my social media. I'm not sure if I'm worse at picking a wife or at picking passwords. FML

#21523145
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5273) - you deserved it (658)

On 02/05/2016 at 5:55pm - misc - by Alex - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my cat shoved his claw up my nose and got it stuck there. FML

#21523143
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5136) - you deserved it (452)

On 02/05/2016 at 5:51pm - animals - by ReiracsNeve - United States (Florida)

Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML

#21523112
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7501) - you deserved it (833)

On 02/05/2016 at 3:33pm - misc - by UUUGHHH (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I worked up the confidence to go to the mall alone for the first time since being confined to a wheelchair. It didn't even take 20 minutes before some teenager grabbed my wheelchair and tried to race me around, all while his friends watched and laughed. FML

#21523102
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9837) - you deserved it (457)

On 02/05/2016 at 3:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

AznLuvsMusic's comment : What a bunch of disrespectful pieces of shit. I'm sorry you had to deal with that, OP.

See all the comments →

Today, as I walked around town I noticed some guys and even a couple of girls checked me out. When I got home later I realized they probably weren't checking me out, so much as wondering why the hell I had thick black eyeliner on only one eye. Oops. FML

#21523085
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6332) - you deserved it (1696)

On 02/05/2016 at 2:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while at work at a small Microsoft partner company, I had to write an email explaining why Internet Explorer is superior to Google Chrome. FML

#21523050
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13601) - you deserved it (1270)

On 02/05/2016 at 11:36am - work - by Coccinelle - France

ApologyKick's comment : "If Internet Explorer has the courage to ask to be your default browser, then you have the courage to ask that girl out"

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Today, my dogs somehow pulled the water spigot off the wall in my backyard. I now have my own private lake. FML

#21523045
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10730) - you deserved it (877)

On 02/05/2016 at 11:07am - misc - by Hreid254 - United States (Texas)

Today, as my brother parked in our hotel's parking lot, I told him to be careful because the car wasn't straight. He retorted, "Yeah, just like you". My mother was in the back seat and heard everything. I hadn't come out yet. FML

#21523010
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11888) - you deserved it (1516)

On 02/05/2016 at 7:37am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

WCARlover's comment : "...SURPRISE!"

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Today, in the current company I'm employed by, I have a better chance at gambling my way to the top, as opposed to working my way up. FML

#21523006
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12076) - you deserved it (1084)

On 02/05/2016 at 7:04am - money - by ferret702 - United States (Nevada)

Today, we had my grandmother with dementia round for tea. She looked me up and down and said, very matter-of-factly, "Well, with a figure like that, no one will rape you." FML

#21522996
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13013) - you deserved it (1174)

On 02/05/2016 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Sgt_Jackrum (woman) - United Kingdom (Sandwell)

Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML

#21522994
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12686) - you deserved it (4453)

On 02/05/2016 at 4:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I shared with my doctor that I still feel uncomfortable with my medication. She expressed surprise, saying, "Really? By now I would've thought it'd be routine." Sorry, no. In three months, I have not gotten used to sticking a syringe up my butt and injecting my rectum full of medicated foam. FML

#21522878
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15633) - you deserved it (1195)

On 02/04/2016 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, which he was happy about, until I told him in the interest of fair play he also had to let me fuck him with a strap on. It didn't take him very long to suddenly decide anal is disgusting, with all kinds of health risks. And he thinks he's the smart one. FML

#21522856
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15565) - you deserved it (2326)

On 02/04/2016 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by sandra (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

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