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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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The Illustrated FML

Today, I found out that I am allergic to grass, and not supposed to mow lawns. My job is mowing lawns. FML

#19630951 (40)

I agree, your life sucks (10) - you deserved it (23)

On 05/16/2012 at 3:36am - work - by jobless - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I discovered that my acne glows yellow and orange under black lights while in front of a wall of them at a club. FML

#19630499 (91)

I agree, your life sucks (1049) - you deserved it (78)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:43am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she was scared that she was more in love with me than I in her, and that she was afraid I would leave her. So she left me instead. I'd been thinking about proposing. FML

#19630328 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (1137) - you deserved it (143)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10am - love - by RingAroundThe..SPLAT (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my 20-year-old son's external hard-drive stopped working. He's crying on my shoulder now, not because of the movies, porn, work, or music he probably lost, but because of the now irretrievable complete series of Digimon that he'd collected. FML

#19629941 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (1273) - you deserved it (251)

On 05/15/2012 at 11:05pm - misc - by OytoBeAfather (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out the hard way that it is possible to sunburn the soles of your feet. FML

#19628540 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (1094) - you deserved it (344)

On 05/15/2012 at 6:39pm - health - by Leadamp (man) - United States

Today, my fiancée called our engagement off, because apparently she's actually a complete idiot who will believe anything that a slimy con artist tells her. In this case, a "psychic" who mumbled some shit about me having "a dark aura." FML

#19628029 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (3489) - you deserved it (430)

On 05/15/2012 at 4:56pm - love - by waste of effort (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while I was applying some eyeliner, my cat jumped onto the counter and managed to headbutt me. The wand scratched a good portion of my eyeball, and now for the next few weeks, I will have to deal with the pain of a corneal abrasion. FML

#19627607 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (2669) - you deserved it (327)

On 05/15/2012 at 3:27pm - health - by rhya4n (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML

#19627538 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (3219) - you deserved it (1035)

On 05/15/2012 at 3:02pm - misc - by FML (woman) - Finland

Today, I'm on a trip to Poland with some friends. We came to experience the country's culture, and to challenge our preconceptions about this part of Europe. We had sat on a bench, and not ten seconds later, a stranger approached and asked, "How much for your friend?" FML

#19626954 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (2937) - you deserved it (358) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/15/2012 at 11:59am - misc - by LearnToLive -

Today, my mom was giving me a long lecture about being aware of my surroundings, because you never know what's out there. While she was talking, I noticed a drug deal going down in the Walmart parking lot. She didn't notice. FML

#19626758 (137)

I agree, your life sucks (3253) - you deserved it (274)

On 05/15/2012 at 10:24am - misc - by observant (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited, so I asked her why. She replied, "what birthday party?" It was a surprise birthday party. FML

#19626736 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (867) - you deserved it (3435)

On 05/15/2012 at 10:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, after winning a major photography competition with the prize of an expensive workshop with a top photographer, I learned that my crazy stalker has paid the £250 the workshop costs, and will travel 5 hours just to be there with me. FML

#19626293 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (3835) - you deserved it (253)

On 05/15/2012 at 6:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, my boss at my new job asked whether I was fitting in OK. The company is Swedish, so as a joke, I said that at home I now serve all my food as a smorgasbord, chew on fermented herring and Daim chocolate bars, and buy all my furniture at Ikea. She didn't see the funny side. FML

#19625966 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (938) - you deserved it (5240)

On 05/15/2012 at 2:48am - work - by Isa (woman) - United States