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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I asked my dad if he thought my dress was nice, and if guys would go for me. He replied, "Shit, depends on how drunk they are." FML

#21303377
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1512) - you deserved it (166)

On 11/21/2014 at 3:07pm - misc - by Veronica - United States (California)

Today, the girl I'd been dating online for 6 months told me she was a guy. I said it was alright, and that I was still in love. Then she confessed she really was a girl, and was just trying to make me dump her so she wouldn't be the "bad guy". FML

#21303306
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1656) - you deserved it (271)

On 11/21/2014 at 1:18pm - love - by Recluse (man) -

Today, I realized that having an open relationship isn't all that great, when my boyfriend hooked up with his ex and dumped me for her. FML

#21303284
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1242) - you deserved it (757)

On 11/21/2014 at 11:56am - love - by openended - United States (California)

Today, I was selling winter-themed cookies at my university. I cheerfully asked a girl if she would like to buy cookies to support peer tutoring. Her response? "I don't eat food." FML

#21303227
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12139) - you deserved it (1147)

On 11/21/2014 at 8:51am - misc - by UTRejected (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was getting to second base with a really hot guy, but I couldn't stop laughing when he said my boobs were "soft like cake." He got so embarrassed that he lost his boner. FML

#21303170
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13066) - you deserved it (3604)

On 11/21/2014 at 4:56am - intimacy - by weirdthingtosay (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss flipped me off in traffic on my way to work. FML

#21303116
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12868) - you deserved it (1442)

On 11/21/2014 at 1:11am - work - by TJ AJ RJ / IV the V - United States (California)

Today, I was rock climbing. I had my equipment on and I saw a really cute girl. I went for the hardest climb in the gym, and while jumping up to grab the rock, I simultaneously farted, missed the rock, fell to the mat and broke my arm in the process. FML

#21303024
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15257) - you deserved it (7087)

On 11/20/2014 at 10:25pm - misc - by AOart1st (man) - United States (California)

feven's comment : Hasn't FML taught you not to try dumb stuff to impress girls?

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Today, I dropped my trash into what I thought was a garbage can. My co-workers stared at me like I had just pissed myself. It was a toy collection box for children in foster care. FML

#21302935
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14285) - you deserved it (4444)

On 11/20/2014 at 7:43pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML

#21302927
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17127) - you deserved it (1174)

On 11/20/2014 at 7:29pm - work - by spreadburger - United States (Florida)

olpally's comment : Talk to another manager who isn't a bitch like her. That's fucked up. She should be fired for that.

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Today, a girl said to me, "Sorry, but I have a boyfriend". I hadn't said anything to her. FML

Today, I knocked an old-school slide carousel off my desk, scattering nearly 100 individual slides everywhere, including the specific slides my professor asked me to digitally scan, which were placed carefully on top. None of them are numbered. FML

#21302910
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13722) - you deserved it (2840)

On 11/20/2014 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I slipped on a wet floor at the supermarket and busted my nose. It wouldn't be as embarrassing if I hadn't missed the "CAUTION: WET FLOOR" sign that I'd put there myself just 30 minutes earlier. FML

#21302796
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19297) - you deserved it (5623)

On 11/20/2014 at 3:45pm - health - by fark (woman) - Ireland

Today, my boss said he's worried about our network, because "Wifi's all in the air. People could spy on us from anywhere!" I sarcastically said "My god, you're right!" and suggested switching to tin-foil ethernet cables to stop the signal escaping. He told me to do it ASAP. This moron makes five times my salary. FML

#21302784
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22025) - you deserved it (2442)

On 11/20/2014 at 3:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Joshery's comment : Maybe you should ask for a raise, he might be stupid enough to give it to you

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