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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had a garage sale, and had amongst my clothing a few sets of underwear. A old man came up and asked to buy all of them. I'm so poor, I couldn't say no to the pervert. FML

#21262480
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13153) - you deserved it (2404)

On 09/21/2014 at 2:23pm - money - by sickened (woman) - United Kingdom (Gateshead)

uniformed's comment : You are selling them so I'd say you are more of a perv

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Today, I took a bite of my apple, looked down, and saw half a worm inside. FML

#21262455
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13047) - you deserved it (1354)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:34pm - misc - by FMLMallow7 - United States

Today, I flew across country to college. My luggage did not. FML

#21262400
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14548) - you deserved it (1155)

On 09/21/2014 at 11:51am - misc - by Need Clothes Now (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I heard what sounded like high-pitched feminine moaning coming from my son's room. I knocked and walked in, expecting to catch him red handed with a girl. He'd just beaten his high score on Flappy Bird. FML

#21262395
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13670) - you deserved it (2762)

On 09/21/2014 at 11:33am - intimacy - by royallymessedup - United Kingdom

Today, a guy told me I "kind of look like a girl" if he looked at me from the right angle. Well, I am a girl, and this is the closest thing to a compliment that I've gotten in years. FML

#21262383
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15231) - you deserved it (1322)

On 09/21/2014 at 10:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17013) - you deserved it (2410)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

weveallbeenthere's comment : were u screaming Oh God. he heard you and responded.

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Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19391) - you deserved it (4742)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

fearlesscooldude's comment : That is actually pretty hilarious, sorry that you lost your morning pleasures though :)

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Today, I had to stop at a gas station to go to the bathroom. A sign on the door told people to knock since the door didn't lock. As I was peeing, a lady walked in on me. Rather than simply saying sorry and shutting the damn door, she opened it wider and stepped in to apologize. FML

#21262000
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20629) - you deserved it (1423)

On 09/20/2014 at 7:39pm - misc - by rabid_otaku - United States (Illinois)

Today, I looked up my childhood bully on Facebook, hoping she'd gone fat and ugly. Turns out she's drop-dead gorgeous and very successful. FML

#21261760
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36001) - you deserved it (7708)

On 09/20/2014 at 11:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my boyfriend has chipped his front teeth for the third time in 2 months. After refusing to tell me how this keeps on happening, I walked in on him throwing his phone in the air and trying to catch it in his mouth. FML

#21261750
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27390) - you deserved it (2849)

On 09/20/2014 at 11:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend asked me when I was going to shave my arms now that summer is coming in Australia. FML

#21261696
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23420) - you deserved it (4184)

On 09/20/2014 at 8:23am - love - by chubbyg - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML

#21261625
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24745) - you deserved it (3775)

On 09/20/2014 at 2:54am - misc - by pasquale - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while giving directions to a blind guy, I accidentally made him walk into a wall. FML

#21261532
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25085) - you deserved it (6000)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:14pm - misc - by camerashyguy - United States (Texas)



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