Today, my 6-year-old son spotted a bumper sticker that said, "Get any closer and I'll fart." He thought this was so hilarious that he had to repeat it to everyone he met. Including my doctor, my grandma, and my boss at "bring your kid to work day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (108) - you deserved it (21)
On 05/23/2013 at 6:48pm - kids - by Mary (woman) - United States
Today, whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mirror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25) - you deserved it (483)
On 05/23/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by faitoh - United Kingdom (Lisburn)
Today, the communications expert I'm forced to work with added the line "as they can catch bigger fishes" to a film script. She does not believe me when I tell her that the plural of fish is "fish." This idiot not only has the final word, she makes twice what I do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (160) - you deserved it (10)
On 05/23/2013 at 4:15pm - work - by onefishtwofishes (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16029) - you deserved it (1357)
On 05/23/2013 at 4:11pm - misc - by eric4 (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15196) - you deserved it (1026)
On 05/23/2013 at 1:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Buzau)
Today, my girlfriend actually yelled, "Why are you making this all about YOU?!" after I confronted her over cheating on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15602) - you deserved it (874)
On 05/23/2013 at 12:40pm - love - by a single fuck (man) - Germany (Berlin)
Today, one of my closest friends informed me that she wasn't going to invite me to her wedding, because I'm too shy and not enough fun, and she doesn't want her 200 or so guests to feel uncomfortable. I was the one who set the happy couple up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32493) - you deserved it (2185)
On 05/23/2013 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, in preparation for a third interview for my dream job, I spent an hour selecting the perfect outfit. I hung everything on my bedroom door and went to shower. My dog decided to play tug-of-war with the clothing and redesign the shoes. The only thing to survive unscathed was the hanger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21235) - you deserved it (3815)
On 05/23/2013 at 6:52am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I got a call from work stating that my employment was being terminated. This was after being suspended while they investigated my sexual harassment claim. Their reason for firing me: misuse of company time. Yes, I suppose reporting being sexually harassed is a huge waste of time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27005) - you deserved it (2566)
On 05/23/2013 at 3:24am - work - by Anonymous - United States
↑ olpally's comment : This is definitely grounds for a lawsuit. Wow.
Today, I was ditched by the guy I flew over two thousand miles to see. His excuse? "I'm just tired. I want to go home and sleep" Later, he checked in at a bar right down the street from the hotel on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23160) - you deserved it (2922)
On 05/23/2013 at 3:13am - love - by phoenixditch - United States (Virginia)
Today, I finally scored a goal in a soccer game. Too bad it was in our own net. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17593) - you deserved it (21870)
On 05/23/2013 at 1:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28982) - you deserved it (1759)
On 05/23/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by Mylifesucks - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33573) - you deserved it (2498)
On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
↑ Sir_ND_Pity's comment : I say let him try it. He'll see how far his swag will take him. Life lessons.
Monday 20 May 2013
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↑ nightowl713's comment : I know it hurts, but I wouldn't go even if she change her mind. She obviously doesn't consider you as close a friend, as you do her.
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