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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I learned that even though a woman has a baby carriage and seems friendly, she's won't be afraid to mug you in front of her kid. FML

#21262985
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2144) - you deserved it (132)

On 09/22/2014 at 6:58am - health - by deathstar3548 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got hit by a car while riding my bike to work. In the hospital, every single nurse lectured me about how I wouldn't be here if I wore a helmet, which I'm sure would be really helpful to my broken leg. FML

#21262936
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4446) - you deserved it (497)

On 09/22/2014 at 2:45am - health - by thebrokentardis (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was reviewing for a major nursing school exam I have this week. I panicked because none of the material seemed familiar, and figured that I must've missed something during class and now had to catch up. After 4 hours, I finally realized that I'd been studying from the wrong textbook. FML

#21262757
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7380) - you deserved it (2954)

On 09/21/2014 at 10:12pm - misc - by IdiotNursingStudent (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our six-month anniversary. And by that, I mean he brought along his obnoxious best friend, and I paid for everyone's dinner at an expensive restaurant. FML

#21262754
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8208) - you deserved it (1652)

On 09/21/2014 at 10:11pm - love - by thnxbabe -

Today, the man who hit on me in a store and asked for my number showed up on my doorstep to inquire about my couch for sale. With his wife. FML

#21262712
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8770) - you deserved it (602)

On 09/21/2014 at 9:27pm - misc - by ohtheirony -

Today, I had a garage sale, and had amongst my clothing a few sets of underwear. A old man came up and asked to buy all of them. I'm so poor, I couldn't say no to the pervert. FML

#21262480
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20580) - you deserved it (4124)

On 09/21/2014 at 2:23pm - money - by sickened (woman) - United Kingdom (Gateshead)

uniformed's comment : You are selling them so I'd say you are more of a perv

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Today, I flew across country to college. My luggage did not. FML

#21262400
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21608) - you deserved it (1730)

On 09/21/2014 at 11:51am - misc - by Need Clothes Now (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I heard what sounded like high-pitched feminine moaning coming from my son's room. I knocked and walked in, expecting to catch him red handed with a girl. He'd just beaten his high score on Flappy Bird. FML

#21262395
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20085) - you deserved it (4197)

On 09/21/2014 at 11:33am - intimacy - by royallymessedup - United Kingdom

Saruh159's comment : In his defense, beating your high score on Flappy Bird is almost just as pleasurable.

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Today, a guy told me I "kind of look like a girl" if he looked at me from the right angle. Well, I am a girl, and this is the closest thing to a compliment that I've gotten in years. FML

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23077) - you deserved it (3290)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

weveallbeenthere's comment : were u screaming Oh God. he heard you and responded.

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Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24286) - you deserved it (5916)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to stop at a gas station to go to the bathroom. A sign on the door told people to knock since the door didn't lock. As I was peeing, a lady walked in on me. Rather than simply saying sorry and shutting the damn door, she opened it wider and stepped in to apologize. FML

#21262000
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24636) - you deserved it (1724)

On 09/20/2014 at 7:39pm - misc - by rabid_otaku - United States (Illinois)

Today, I looked up my childhood bully on Facebook, hoping she'd gone fat and ugly. Turns out she's drop-dead gorgeous and very successful. FML

#21261760
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38885) - you deserved it (8317)

On 09/20/2014 at 11:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)



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