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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

#21399141
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2013) - you deserved it (239)

On 04/24/2015 at 6:04pm - kids - by anonymousyo - United States (California)

Today, a cute, new guy I always run into at work hit on me. Turns out he's only 18. I'm old enough to be his mom. FML

#21399135
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1908) - you deserved it (239)

On 04/24/2015 at 5:46pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML

#21399079
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7313) - you deserved it (472)

On 04/24/2015 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Laois)

shippingboat's comment : That's equal parts disgusting and terrifying.

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Today, my boss' incompetent, lazy son got another raise. He only started working here five months ago. Since then he's been promoted twice and given a Bentley as a company car. All this while company profits are in the shitter and the rest of us are facing a wave of layoffs. FML

#21399022
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6481) - you deserved it (387)

On 04/24/2015 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Qatar (Ad Dawhah)

Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML

#21399007
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4645) - you deserved it (2591)

On 04/24/2015 at 1:09pm - misc - by Kira (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I complimented a player in a game who protected my ass the whole match. As a joke, I told them to marry me. Turned out the person was a horny 40-something lesbian stalker who spent the next 5 hours sending me pictures and trying to find out where I live. FML

#21398988
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14201) - you deserved it (2758)

On 04/24/2015 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Birdclawz's comment : Careful what you wish for ;)

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Today, the pills my doctor prescribed for my extremely painful period cramps apparently have a side effect; excruciatingly painful cramps. I feel like I'm being repeatedly stabbed in the ovaries with a rusty fork. FML

#21398967
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14493) - you deserved it (993)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:18am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML

#21398963
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14657) - you deserved it (1572)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:07am - intimacy - by someoneneedsassistance - United States (Virginia)

IAmzephyr's comment : car jacking?

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Today, my husband admitted that he's been spying on me for the last 5 years to see if I was cheating, out of paranoia brought on by his own cheating for all 5 of those years. FML

#21398951
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16315) - you deserved it (975)

On 04/24/2015 at 10:12am - love - by LolaBell (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I learned that, when you ask your girlfriend "Do you think we're having sex too often?" she might interpret it as, "I don't think we should have sex ever again," and entirely stop talking to you. FML

#21398912
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12444) - you deserved it (5373)

On 04/24/2015 at 7:38am - intimacy - by Sexless from Texas - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that, given the correct velocity, a used condom can actually fly through a tiny window and slap you on the leg. I also found out that when you go to the window to yell at the perpetrator, they might have more ammunition. FML

Today, teachers were pulling students out of class to announce valedictorian, salutatorian, and other awards for graduation. I got pulled out of class by one of them, and I got a little excited since I wasn't expecting an award. It was to tell me that my sister was staying after school. FML

Today, my husband called me a nympho after I told him I'd ideally like us to have sex more than once a month. FML

#21398482
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26683) - you deserved it (2009)

On 04/23/2015 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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