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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, during my father's funeral, I heard my mother-in-law mutter, "No loss there. Lazy cunt." FML

#21449050
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11576) - you deserved it (609)

On 07/29/2015 at 1:00pm - misc - by HF44 (man) - United States (California)

Miss_Chevious's comment : Talk about monster in law...

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Today, my business got broken into and I lost a lot of valuable equipment. Although I have 24/7 security guards, they left in the middle of the burglary because they were too scared to stop the burglars or even to call the police. FML

#21449035
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11978) - you deserved it (914)

On 07/29/2015 at 11:30am - money - by fukingtigans (man) - Croatia (Zadarska)

Today, I was relaxing in bed with an arm kind of behind my head, when I noticed a huge spider resting on my armpit. My sister said my screaming sounded like a "witch being burned to death" for all of 5 seconds before I realized the "spider" was just my armpit hair. FML

#21449022
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9628) - you deserved it (4659)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:41am - misc - by fack (man) - United States (California)

Today, my sister and I were planning a trip to get away from things and visit some faraway friends. My dad then decided to insert himself into our plans. He got mad when we said no, and couldn't understand why we wanted to go by ourselves. FML

#21448997
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10370) - you deserved it (1038)

On 07/29/2015 at 8:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, thinking no one was home, I decided to be a little frisky with my boyfriend. I guess I was being loud and woke up my sleeping autistic brother the room over. Halfway through, he burst through the door, panicking. He thought I was having another one of my asthma attacks. FML

#21448923
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15300) - you deserved it (4871)

On 07/29/2015 at 2:15am - intimacy - by oops - United States

illusionay's comment : At least he cares about you

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Today, I had to wait thirty minutes after closing to check out a lady who was purchasing 20 different styles of curtains. I asked what she would be doing with them all, and she replied that she would be bringing 19 of them back tomorrow, as she didn't know which would match. FML

#21448838
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16941) - you deserved it (1062)

On 07/28/2015 at 11:04pm - work - by jlmbull - United States (Michigan)

1animalallover's comment : Well she curtainly has a sense of style.

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Today, while waiting for an interview at the career that I've been spending months tailoring my résumé for, I was thrown up on by my only competitor. Guess who got the job. FML

#21448834
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16473) - you deserved it (1027)

On 07/28/2015 at 10:55pm - work - by smellslikeahangover - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boss for a promotion. "You don't work here but I can give you a job application." I've been working here for 8 years. FML

#21448654
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17313) - you deserved it (1287)

On 07/28/2015 at 4:44pm - work - by Application - United States (Ohio)

Today, while in a hotel, I left the room to get some ice. Since my parents left the door wedged open, I didn't worry about trying to find the room number. Without thinking, I walked in to another room that was also wedged open. Yes, there were people in it, and yes, they were both naked and hairy. FML

#21448605
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14212) - you deserved it (5968)

On 07/28/2015 at 2:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a revolving door got the better of me. I made it into the crowded lobby, unlike my skirt. Bad day to wear a thong. FML

#21448563
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20656) - you deserved it (2461)

On 07/28/2015 at 1:18pm - misc - by Oopsie - United States (Vermont)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over the phone, after having left me to look after her dog while she went on a 2-week vacation with her family. Now I have to choose between paying for a kennel for her damn dog or taking care of it every day until she gets back. FML

#21448527
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18542) - you deserved it (1613)

On 07/28/2015 at 11:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a customer bitched me out, saying he wouldn't eat his vegetarian dish because it didn't "look vegetarian enough." He then demanded a refund and a plate of the same vegetarian dish. FML

#21448499
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17350) - you deserved it (996)

On 07/28/2015 at 9:14am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to a garden party my friend had invited me to. I soon discovered they had seriously downplayed the formality of the event, as I noticed trays of fancy hors d'oeuvres and glasses of champagne lined up on the table. I showed up with Kool Aid and Ritz crackers. FML

#21448484
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20181) - you deserved it (2808)

On 07/28/2015 at 8:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)



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