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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my 8-year-old son told me to grow a pair and man up. FML

#21383517
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9825) - you deserved it (2512)

On 03/29/2015 at 11:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to teach my grandma how to burn files to CDs. I jokingly said that it doesn't involve literally burning the disks in fire, to which she responded by slapping me and calling me a patronizing brat. FML

#21383501
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8951) - you deserved it (4799)

On 03/29/2015 at 10:03am - misc - by shamwazzlefarznarfnarfwoofbaaa (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out the fund-raiser my uncle ran to raise money for his cancer treatment was all a sham, that he doesn't even have cancer, and that the money was to fund a coke habit nobody knew he even had. FML

#21383487
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11829) - you deserved it (737)

On 03/29/2015 at 9:33am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Philippines (Benguet)

Hierobulle's comment : Breaking Bad : Philippines

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Today, I was sitting in my bedroom relaxing when I heard my little sister and my brother. Thinking it was cute they were talking again, I was listening. They were not just "talking", they were making plans on how to kill me. FML

#21383476
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17517) - you deserved it (1485)

On 03/29/2015 at 8:54am - kids - by M.SHUKRI - United States (Illinois)

MrSarary's comment : You've got the advantage now, listen to their plan and make your own!! In all seriousness this is pretty scary.

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Today, I was in a public restroom taking a poop and as I started unrolling the toilet paper, the whole roll fell off the handle and rolled out underneath the cubicle door. I heard somebody laugh at me. Nobody helped. FML

#21383475
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16021) - you deserved it (1318)

On 03/29/2015 at 8:49am - misc - by ToiletRoll - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a calf kicked a needle straight into my arm hard enough to make me stab myself. The good news is I'm now fully vaccinated for cow diseases. FML

ARetardedSeal's comment : First it's the vaccine, then you'll have the urge to eat grass. Then the transformation begins

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Today, with the experience of sitting behind someone on a roller coaster, I found out pee is affected by gravity. FML

#21383398
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16164) - you deserved it (1354)

On 03/29/2015 at 2:38am - misc - by Kryometric - United States (Washington)

Today, my best friend went to my boss and offered to do my job for half the pay. FML

#21383169
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17206) - you deserved it (1282)

On 03/28/2015 at 7:44pm - work - by Haggis300 - Australia

Today, my older brother puked in the sound hole of my sister's guitar. He blamed it on me, and in revenge my sister beat me with the guitar. FML

#21383103
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17810) - you deserved it (1251)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:30pm - misc - by Pukey - United States

Today, I found out that the creepy weirdo who's been sending me messages for a while is just my dad. His excuse was, "I wanted you to feel like someone would actually like you." FML

#21383075
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17492) - you deserved it (1295)

On 03/28/2015 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be romantic to take me to a strip club for our 1-year anniversary. FML

#21382971
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19593) - you deserved it (2337)

On 03/28/2015 at 1:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had my first therapy session for the issues caused by trying to please my overbearing, paranoid, self-centred mother. The first thing she did after we started driving home? Ranting at me and demanding to know if I'd been "talking shit" about her to my therapist FML

#21382942
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19030) - you deserved it (1333)

On 03/28/2015 at 11:50am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

#21382840
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31061) - you deserved it (2098)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)



Caroline Maerten's illustrated FML

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Friday 13 February 2015

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