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Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, 'Fuck a duck, Daddy.' I have no idea where he heard this. FML

#21382327
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6489) - you deserved it (563)

On 03/27/2015 at 9:29am - kids - by njh - Ireland

Today, my stomach started to hurt. When I got home, my parents had company over, which I had to rush past to use the bathroom. After being in the bathroom for about 3 minutes, my mother yells to me from the other room, in front of the guests, "Are you OK in there?" I'm 27. FML

#21382322
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6159) - you deserved it (752)

On 03/27/2015 at 9:12am - misc - by struckbystarzz (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML

#21382277
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9172) - you deserved it (1057)

On 03/27/2015 at 5:51am - work - by mareecasellafml (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had an interview for an office job. As a requirement, I had to show up dressed for the job. My friend has worked there for years and told me it was casual dress. I wore jeans and a blouse. Everyone else had on business suits. Obviously my friend doesn't know what casual means. FML

Steve95401's comment : Even if the office has a casual dress policy, you should have worn a business suit for your interview.

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Today, I was told at my babysitting job that I can't bring my toddler with me. My employer is my best friend. Now I have to find a babysitter for my kid if I want to babysit hers. FML

#21382250
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11134) - you deserved it (942)

On 03/27/2015 at 4:17am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Lesser's comment : Maybe your best friend can watch your child while your watching her kid.

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Today, I stopped by my local bar to maybe meet some new people. I sat in between two groups. Within a minute both groups got up and left. FML

#21382238
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11202) - you deserved it (1240)

On 03/27/2015 at 2:58am - misc - by elizacandle (woman) - United States

Today, some well-meaning soul told me to just pray my depression away, which would be about as effective as praying away a knife in my shin. FML

#21382206
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11386) - you deserved it (1531)

On 03/27/2015 at 1:31am - misc - by an anon - United States (California)

Today, I managed to take an entire shower without realizing my socks were on. I washed my feet. FML

#21382179
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10352) - you deserved it (4431)

On 03/26/2015 at 11:28pm - misc - by comfort_ - United States (Georgia)

Today, I tore my ACL while doing physical therapy that's supposed to keep me from tearing my ACL. FML

#21381900
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20440) - you deserved it (1377)

On 03/26/2015 at 2:36pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today my girlfriend of a month told me that the only thing keeping her from swallowing a bottle of pills is being in a relationship with me, because she doesn't handle breakups well. FML

rachelfromtarget's comment : Well thats not a healthy relationship.

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Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML

#21381783
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28319) - you deserved it (2288)

On 03/26/2015 at 9:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after days of looking for it, I finally found the ring my boyfriend gave to me. It was on my roommate's finger. FML

#21381743
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24061) - you deserved it (1773)

On 03/26/2015 at 6:16am - misc - by Anonymous -



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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