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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was out shopping with my little sister. I wanted to try something on, so I put my bag in front of a changing room and jokingly told her to bark if someone came near. She ended up biting a lady who was trying to get into one of the changing rooms. FML

#21417456
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5498) - you deserved it (870) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/29/2015 at 12:19am - kids - by wouaf - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I started my day off with a relaxing cup of coffee, the morning paper, and the sound of my mother informing me I will be going to hell for being not believing in God. FML

#21417394
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5913) - you deserved it (939)

On 05/29/2015 at 12:16am - misc - by idonthavereligion (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend made me a coupon book. I thought it was sweet until I noticed they were all conditional. For example; "Give your boyfriend a blowjob and he'll give you a 10 minute back massage!". They're all like that and he's mad because I refuse to use them. FML

#21417382
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6223) - you deserved it (639)

On 05/28/2015 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by shmoooopie (woman) - United States (Ohio)

604's comment : If he asks why you're not using them, tell him you already did; they were accepted by a competitor for double the value.

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Today, I found out that the reason why my boyfriend has been denying me sex isn't because he is scared of someone walking in on us. It's because his blow-up doll pleasures him more than I do. FML

#21417148
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15664) - you deserved it (2433)

On 05/28/2015 at 2:05pm - intimacy - by MarieAmber18 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

jessieluvxo's comment : That blows.

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Today, I received a promotional message offering a half-off deal on an expensive coffee maker. The only reason why I received the message is because I bought that same coffee maker yesterday and I signed up to their mailing list. FML

#21417141
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14210) - you deserved it (1425)

On 05/28/2015 at 1:41pm - money - by FFS - Cyprus (Limassol)

ellemacho's comment : return it and use the coupon on a new one

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Today, my daughter cried for ages after finding out that Nick Amaro was written out of Law and Order: SVU. She barely reacted when I told her that her mom and I are getting a divorce. FML

#21417105
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13727) - you deserved it (1629)

On 05/28/2015 at 11:40am - misc - by svunimportant - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got engaged. When I called my father, who is out of state for a few days, to tell him, his response was, "What'd you do that for?" FML

#21417009
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17269) - you deserved it (1682)

On 05/28/2015 at 3:04am - love - by jessiebear159 (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I called 911 to report a drunk driver. The operator yelled at me for following the guy and told me to get off the phone because I shouldn't be driving with a phone to my ear. FML

#21416830
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18497) - you deserved it (4536)

On 05/27/2015 at 9:28pm - misc - by drivingmecrazy - United States (California)

Today, I was let go from my job, because I "progress too quickly and there's no promotions available" and I "can find a better place to work at". FML

#21416754
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20786) - you deserved it (1432)

On 05/27/2015 at 6:27pm - work - by smyp - Lithuania (Vilniaus Apskritis)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend having sex with another woman. They told me to leave so they could finish, and that "we'll all talk this over later." FML

#21416749
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24012) - you deserved it (1628)

On 05/27/2015 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by hellno (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally found my watch after weeks searching for it. It was on my teacher's wrist. FML

#21416691
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20477) - you deserved it (1319)

On 05/27/2015 at 3:40pm - misc - by concom - Cyprus

Today, one of my students tried to bribe me $200 to change his grade. When I said no and told him he was lucky I didn't report him, he went to the dean and told him I offered to change his grade for money. I'm now suspended and under investigation. FML

#21416617
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28093) - you deserved it (2349)

On 05/27/2015 at 12:25pm - work - by UN4 (man) - United States

Today, some guy I passed in the street was so high out of his mind, he beat the crap out of me, thinking I was a piñata. FML

#21416582
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22857) - you deserved it (1928)

On 05/27/2015 at 10:21am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico



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