Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, as I was saying bye to my girlfriend, I said "see ya later, alligator." She took offense because she thought I called her ugly. FML

#21321170
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3158) - you deserved it (325)

On 12/20/2014 at 10:37pm - love - by sexualpopcorn - United States (California)

Today, I had to find simple words to explain to the idiot I was tutoring that "1/4" is not of a greater value than "1/3" just because the denominator is bigger. FML

#21321107
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2851) - you deserved it (512)

On 12/20/2014 at 8:16pm - kids - by Mightaswelltutordogs (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, thanks to some asswipe drunk driver fleeing the cops the wrong way down a one-way street, I've now had my third wreck this year. My insurance premium's now higher than Bob Marley in a weed factory. FML

#21321099
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6653) - you deserved it (550)

On 12/20/2014 at 7:53pm - money - by financially_wreckd (man) -

Today, my 7-year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of the supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML

#21321028
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6072) - you deserved it (663)

On 12/20/2014 at 5:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a long-overdue message telling her I feel like she doesn't really care about me any more, that it seems like she only ever calls me when she needs money, and that I'm even starting to suspect she may be cheating on me. 14 hours later, she replied: "TL;DR". FML

#21320982
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6054) - you deserved it (723)

On 12/20/2014 at 3:45pm - love - by KalaKa (man) - United States

Today, my fiancé pawned off my engagement ring so he could buy himself a PS4. FML

#21320958
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18793) - you deserved it (2076)

On 12/20/2014 at 3:00pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

iTzSelverZz's comment : Did he at least buy two controllers so you wont be left out?

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Today, I took a late-night shower. When I got out afterwards, the bathroom door was ajar, and I could have sworn I heard the faint patter of footsteps in the kitchen. "It's probably the cat," I told myself. Then I went upstairs and saw my cat asleep on my bed. FML

#21320813
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17754) - you deserved it (1376)

On 12/20/2014 at 9:41am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

MzZombicidal's comment : Only valid action is to hide under the sheets. Nothing can get you there. :P But seriously, I'd call the cops. You can never be too careful!

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Today, I was fired for "smelling like garbage". I'm the guy who throws the garbage into the truck. FML

Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML

#21320716
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20450) - you deserved it (2698)

On 12/20/2014 at 2:33am - love - by qyx3lmnop24 - United States (California)

Silk_Routes's comment : ooohh thats so sexy

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Today, my parents had a loud argument over who is worse in bed. FML

#21320583
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20548) - you deserved it (1463)

On 12/19/2014 at 10:16pm - misc - by cantunhear - United States (New York)

Today, my date mugged me, just minutes after I paid our bill at the restaurant. FML

#21320485
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24167) - you deserved it (1810)

On 12/19/2014 at 6:27pm - money - by j4 - United Kingdom

Today, after six long, hard years of involuntary celibacy, I was finally about to get laid. Except it was just a dream, and in it my mom stormed in just as things got heated, called me a useless cunt, and told me to go do my chores. I guess my brain forgot I moved out years ago. FML

#21320480
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21192) - you deserved it (2556)

On 12/19/2014 at 6:14pm - intimacy - by giantblueballsthesizeofjohnnysinscock (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I posted a photo on Facebook showing a side-by-side view of me before and after I'd tried out my new makeup. My dad commented, "What is this, Gollum cosplaying an Orc?" My mum, brother, and over 20 "friends" liked his comment. FML

#21320382
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20040) - you deserved it (3435)

On 12/19/2014 at 2:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)



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