Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

#21382840
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10213) - you deserved it (570)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Gesula's comment : mildly concerned by the username

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Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML

#21382751
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7841) - you deserved it (524)

On 03/28/2015 at 12:39am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, while at work, a customer refused to speak louder, despite me asking her to do it several times. As a result, I took her order incorrectly. The customer then finally decided to raise her voice, but only to yell at me about my poor listening skills. FML

#21382737
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13693) - you deserved it (987)

On 03/28/2015 at 12:16am - work - by people suck - United States (California)

Today, I was uninvited from my own birthday party. FML

#21382721
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13706) - you deserved it (1147)

On 03/27/2015 at 11:42pm - misc - by BirthdayBoy - United States (Wisconsin)

tygerarmy's comment : How? Fuck those people! I'll celebrate with you OP! What do you wanna do?

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Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Within minutes, they said I needed to leave. Their reason? Apparently, I was mocking her dad's speech impediment. I also have one but they wouldn't believe me. FML

#21382684
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17618) - you deserved it (1026)

On 03/27/2015 at 10:12pm - love - by biblepain - United States (Arizona)

AllSoul's comment : Surely they would have believed your girlfriend? Didn't she mention it?

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Today, I discovered that when my mom can't sleep, she comes into my room and reads my text messages. FML

Today, I was trying out for a position as pitcher for my college baseball team. I threw the ball as hard as I could, and then collapsed to the ground in agony from a dislocated shoulder. FML

#21382575
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17020) - you deserved it (2785)

On 03/27/2015 at 6:50pm - health - by Bonecrusher (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

#21382528
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15335) - you deserved it (3375)

On 03/27/2015 at 5:19pm - work - by screwedupfuck (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found my dad's porn stash on his laptop. I went through it for a laugh to see what kind of sick, twisted shit he's into. Mostly nude pictures of my mum, as it turns out. I can't wipe the afterimage from my mind. FML

#21382495
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6929) - you deserved it (23014)

On 03/27/2015 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while getting ready for a job interview, I sneezed while brushing my teeth, splattering toothpaste everywhere and ruining my brand new dress. FML

#21382482
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20075) - you deserved it (3084)

On 03/27/2015 at 4:09pm - misc - by anon - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep in class... And woke up hour later. My teacher let me sit there till I woke up to see what my face would be like waking up to a new class. FML

#21382364
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19101) - you deserved it (11261)

On 03/27/2015 at 11:27am - misc - by BERNDTOAST - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

#21382327
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22052) - you deserved it (2319)

On 03/27/2015 at 9:29am - kids - by njh - Ireland

Today, my stomach started to hurt. When I got home, my parents had company over, which I had to rush past to use the bathroom. After being in the bathroom for about 3 minutes, my mother yells to me from the other room, in front of the guests, "Are you OK in there?" I'm 27. FML

#21382322
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20487) - you deserved it (2776)

On 03/27/2015 at 9:12am - misc - by struckbystarzz (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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