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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while waiting for the bus, I googled walking directions to my destination, in case I had already missed the bus. I was so absorbed in my search that I missed the bus. FML

#21384017
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (630) - you deserved it (929)

On 03/30/2015 at 5:19am - misc - by getoffthephone - United Kingdom

Today, a teenage girl with a selfie stick came into my workplace. She knocked down multiple displays while trying to take pictures, before leaving without making a purchase. I had to clean it all up. FML

#21383983
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1179) - you deserved it (94)

On 03/30/2015 at 1:56am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after recently quitting a terrible job which made me miserable, I went to my first work meeting at my new job. I was excited to start fresh and meet my new coworkers. Instead, I met my boyfriend's extremely jealous ex-girlfriend. She didn't look excited to see me. FML

#21383954
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4474) - you deserved it (301)

On 03/30/2015 at 1:06am - work - by kitkat3308 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love with. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

#21383831
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8847) - you deserved it (576)

On 03/29/2015 at 10:13pm - intimacy - by sexisntfun (man) - United States (Florida)

Safiya's comment : you didnt have sex with her after that, right?

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Today, I lost hundreds of dollars in gift cards. Robbed? No. Mugged? Don't think so. My roommate threw them away after he got water on them, thinking that it rendered them unusable. FML

#21383795
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8405) - you deserved it (700)

On 03/29/2015 at 9:09pm - money - by BrokeAndSad - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out my girlfriend keeps my toenails in her deceased grandmother's prized music box. She says it's to, "Keep the box natural." I don't understand why she does this, or what she means by "natural." FML

#21383678
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7236) - you deserved it (619)

On 03/29/2015 at 5:18pm - misc - by coldasfire - United States

Today, my girlfriend hasn't spoken to me in a week, so I gave her a call. No reply. I texted her, and got a text back saying: "Sorry, dude. Better luck next time!" FML

#21383638
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7808) - you deserved it (599)

On 03/29/2015 at 3:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 8-year-old son told me to grow a pair and man up. FML

#21383517
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14814) - you deserved it (3738)

On 03/29/2015 at 11:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to teach my grandma how to burn files to CDs. I jokingly said that it doesn't involve literally burning the disks in fire, to which she responded by slapping me and calling me a patronizing brat. FML

#21383501
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13432) - you deserved it (7309)

On 03/29/2015 at 10:03am - misc - by shamwazzlefarznarfnarfwoofbaaa (man) - United States (New York)

lexiieeex3's comment : Well now ya know not to sass grandma.

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Today, I found out the fund-raiser my uncle ran to raise money for his cancer treatment was all a sham, that he doesn't even have cancer, and that the money was to fund a coke habit nobody knew he even had. FML

#21383487
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17703) - you deserved it (1139)

On 03/29/2015 at 9:33am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Philippines (Benguet)

Hierobulle's comment : Breaking Bad : Philippines

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Today, I was sitting in my bedroom relaxing when I heard my little sister and my brother. Thinking it was cute they were talking again, I was listening. They were not just "talking", they were making plans on how to kill me. FML

#21383476
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21114) - you deserved it (1850)

On 03/29/2015 at 8:54am - kids - by M.SHUKRI - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in a public restroom taking a poop and as I started unrolling the toilet paper, the whole roll fell off the handle and rolled out underneath the cubicle door. I heard somebody laugh at me. Nobody helped. FML

#21383475
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19351) - you deserved it (1641)

On 03/29/2015 at 8:49am - misc - by ToiletRoll - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a calf kicked a needle straight into my arm hard enough to make me stab myself. The good news is I'm now fully vaccinated for cow diseases. FML



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