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Today, my fiancé and I were planning to move to a cheaper apartment which my mother agreed to rent us. She was very supportive and excited that we'd be closer, and it was great until she gave us a list of books, movies, games, etc. that we can't bring because they're "demonic". FML

#20675316
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1200) - you deserved it (181)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML

#20675286
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1493) - you deserved it (116)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:02pm - misc - by well okay then - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML

#20675279
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11399) - you deserved it (767)

On 05/20/2013 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML

#20675025
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13227) - you deserved it (813)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:57am - kids - by AuntPeePee - United States

Today, I beat my extremely competitive friend in a game of pool. He responded by breaking a pool stick over my head. FML

#20674823
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15414) - you deserved it (1957)

On 05/20/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by soreloser (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, my allergies started up with a vengeance. Yesterday I broke 4 ribs and fractured my sternum. Every time I sneeze, I swear I can feel the broken bones move around. FML

#20674768
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16230) - you deserved it (909)

On 05/20/2013 at 1:44am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I'm planning my big sister's wedding. My long-term, live-in boyfriend walked by and saw me looking at the wedding tab on Pinterest, smirked, and said, "Don't get your hopes up." I had. FML

#20674650
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20501) - you deserved it (3232)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:47am - love - by ForeverAlone (woman) - United States

Today, my parents posted on Facebook that they were excited that my sister was pregnant and couldn't wait to be grandparents. Last week I told them that I, a 33-year-old happily married woman, was pregnant and they told me I was ruining my life and encouraged me to have an abortion. FML

#20674602
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23819) - you deserved it (1190)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by pregnant loser apparently (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I went for a walk. When it started pouring, I ran under the nearest tree for protection. It didn't occur to me that it might look suspicious hiding under a stranger's tree in a black hoodie, until the cops showed up. FML

#20673625
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18607) - you deserved it (2635)

On 05/19/2013 at 7:07pm - misc - by black hoodie - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got my nails, hair, and makeup professionally done for prom. My dad got his camera out, and I presumed he was taking pictures of my date and me. When I looked at the pictures later, they were all of the dog. FML

#20673563
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17962) - you deserved it (1752)

On 05/19/2013 at 6:33pm - animals - by rach (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the ER after I got my finger trapped in the car door. I told the reception nurse I was pretty sure it was broken. His reply was, "Car doors don't break fingers" and then he put me at the bottom of the list. 5 hours later, I found out it was indeed broken. So much for the theory. FML

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

#20673456
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30464) - you deserved it (2284)

On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)

revan546's comment : 'Murica

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Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML

#20673360
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28368) - you deserved it (3838)

On 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

williamcarter93's comment : I can see this being made into a movie.

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