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Today, my doctor died. Last week, after a check up I'd had because I was worried about a cough, he told me not to worry because I was as healthy as he was. FML

#21462016
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (928) - you deserved it (69)

On 08/29/2015 at 4:50am - health - by Untold_Tales - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my wife lovingly told me that I'm her best friend, followed by a detailed explanation of how it's weird to have sex with friends. FML

#21461994
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (929) - you deserved it (65)

On 08/29/2015 at 3:04am - intimacy - by Friend-Zoned - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to explain to my dad how I rear-ended the car in front of me because of a particularly intense banjo solo. FML

#21461958
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2187) - you deserved it (3866)

On 08/29/2015 at 1:09am - misc - by mumfordandsonimdisappointed - United States

Today, I got a phone call letting me know my grandmother was arrested for trying to light my grandpa on fire. She's now in jail, asking for bail money. FML

#21461945
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6630) - you deserved it (359)

On 08/29/2015 at 12:29am - misc - by tkoester - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience. I started to get aggressive and pushed him up against the wall. I forgot our bed was on wheels and the bed started sliding away and his body slid down the wall. So much for being sexy. FML

#21461787
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6572) - you deserved it (1083)

On 08/28/2015 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by still laughing (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I found out that I won't be able to attend my own wedding, because I'll be in a mandatory training class that doesn't allow people to take vacation for any reason. So now we've wasted $10,000, and I can't even fly home for one day. All because I got promoted unexpectedly. FML

#21461761
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9046) - you deserved it (679)

On 08/28/2015 at 4:05pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Friuli-Venezia Giulia)

Jeremiah722's comment : Miss the promotion, get married

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Today, I decided to give my dog a bath. Instead, my dog gave me a bath. FML

#21461710
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6946) - you deserved it (1088)

On 08/28/2015 at 1:18pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend uninvited to me a party because she said her ex would be there, and since she hasn't told him about us, she didn't want him getting upset. FML

#21461601
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15126) - you deserved it (1339)

On 08/28/2015 at 3:21am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

heftysmash253's comment : Why didn't she just un-invite her ex and you, her current boyfriend, go to the party? Something might be going on.

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Today, after missing college for a week due to illness, I found out my "friends" were bullshitting me about us having to write an important no-extension Biology essay. Copious amounts of my sweat, snot and tears went into that desperation-fueled nightmare. Thanks, dickheads. FML

#21461594
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13970) - you deserved it (1274)

On 08/28/2015 at 2:39am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

WitEluded's comment : Here is what you should do... Go to the teacher/professor and explain what your friends did. Show them your essay and how hard you worked on it. Then ask them if they will help you to get your friends back by assigning the same essay to them.

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Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the multiple fire ant bites I woke up to after falling asleep in my backyard. FML

#21461585
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14630) - you deserved it (2395)

On 08/28/2015 at 2:13am - health - by unsuckable (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I washed all the dishes and cups from the family dinner last night and put them away. When my wife saw, she had a mini OCD breakdown and yelled at me because the cups weren't lined up with each other with the handles aligned and the flower pictures facing out left. FML

#21461576
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14494) - you deserved it (1819)

On 08/28/2015 at 1:41am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I happily announced to my parents that I'm pregnant. My dad later handed me a printout containing a list of nearby abortion clinics. FML

#21461568
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16364) - you deserved it (1408)

On 08/28/2015 at 1:06am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after working 8 hours and immediately packing my house for another 6 hours to prepare for moving, I was extremely exhausted and more than ready to brush my teeth and go to bed. I tiredly brushed my teeth with my mascara. FML

#21461561
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16077) - you deserved it (2716)

On 08/28/2015 at 12:40am - misc - by morethanablondemoment - United States (California)



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