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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, after my first day at work at a local daycare, I found out that I'm not entitled to breaks because I'm the only worker there who doesn't smoke. My boss asked me, ''What do you need a break for?'' FML

#21284495
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9335) - you deserved it (604)

On 10/24/2014 at 4:52pm - work - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I'm horribly out of shape. My arms are sore, almost like I'd been doing heavy lifting yesterday. Nope. It just was from squeezing cupcake icing out of a tube. FML

#21284454
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6983) - you deserved it (2751)

On 10/24/2014 at 3:26pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, someone stole my coat. I can only imagine their surprise when they find the $3,000 engagement ring I bought earlier. FML

#21284412
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10302) - you deserved it (788)

On 10/24/2014 at 1:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while reading 1984 on the train, a cute guy around my age and I got into a great a discussion about the book. Just when I thought he might ask for my number, he got up, patted me on the head and said it's so nice that kids my age still took interest in real literature. I'm 25. FML

#21284324
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18142) - you deserved it (1380)

On 10/24/2014 at 9:47am - misc - by anonymous - Austria (Wien)

milky2321's comment : life of a baby face.

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Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17520) - you deserved it (4784)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

JMichael's comment : Did you still have fun with it?

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Today, I got approached by a lady while eating at a fast-food restaurant who asked if I could spare five dollars. Confidently, I pulled out my wallet to show her that I had no cash, only to reveal a perfectly crisp five dollar bill that I had completely forgotten about. FML

#21284180
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17163) - you deserved it (8081)

On 10/24/2014 at 1:02am - money - by Yeah (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my best friend and I, after years of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in my head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML

#21284031
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18572) - you deserved it (3042)

On 10/23/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was the weird girl on the city bus who falls asleep then makes a loud, weird noise and wakes herself up. FML

#21284017
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17831) - you deserved it (2349)

On 10/23/2014 at 9:05pm - misc - by pyrogypsy (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my wife got a new best-friend. It's my ex-wife. FML

#21283962
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21722) - you deserved it (2004)

On 10/23/2014 at 7:30pm - love - by max - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

#21283844
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25334) - you deserved it (1959)

On 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by Alexismaria - United States

23lf's comment : Wash your eyes out with battery acid.

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Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

#21283795
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24599) - you deserved it (2897)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I didn't make dinner fast enough so somebody had a yelling and screaming temper tantrum. It would be understandable if the person who threw the tantrum was a child, and not my 57-year-old father. FML

#21283737
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21786) - you deserved it (1823)

On 10/23/2014 at 11:56am - misc - by mnote (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my younger brother helpfully pointed out that I'm the only one in my family of five who is single. He's twelve. FML

#21283583
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26075) - you deserved it (2423)

On 10/23/2014 at 1:18am - love - by 20singleandproudish (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)



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