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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, for the third time this week, I had to clean up after someone who pissed themselves in the beer aisle at the grocery store where I work. FML

#21216504
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2198) - you deserved it (139)

On 07/21/2014 at 5:15pm - work - by notpayedenoughforthisshit (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML

#21216496
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (166) - you deserved it (2634)

On 07/21/2014 at 5:04pm - animals - by Tasteslikechicken - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was out with my boyfriend, when he started browsing wedding rings. He found a ring, proposed to me right there in front of a crowd, and then was promptly denied a payment plan. We left without a ring. FML

#21216427
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21656) - you deserved it (1757)

On 07/21/2014 at 3:31pm - love - by badluck - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went surfing, got a few rides, then realized I had my phone in my pocket. FML

#21216262
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18485) - you deserved it (9859)

On 07/21/2014 at 1:14pm - misc - by surfer - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend, because he's too manipulative. By the time our chat ended, instead of being single, I'm somehow now committed to going on vacation with him and his family. FML

#21216217
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20970) - you deserved it (535)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:58am - love - by whatjusthappened - United States (Oklahoma)

paigexox0's comment : Dude, how does that even happen? I understand its hard to breakup with someone but if hes manipulative you have to get a backbone and just do it.

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Today, I was pulled over for speeding. The officer was nice and let me off with just a warning. That is, until my dipshit brother yelled "Fucking pig!" out the window as the officer walked back to his car. FML

#21216216
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1704) - you deserved it (11620)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

bredahl's comment : Make your brother pay for the ticket.

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Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

brainymes's comment : Since when is it a crime to carry a four month old?!

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Today, as I was on the couch taking a nap, it started violently shaking. I panicked and chased my family outside, convinced it was an earthquake. It was just the cat trapped inside the couch. FML

Today, I was finally given a parking spot at work. It turns out to be between an expensive sports car that never parks straight and a giant truck too big for its space. FML

#21215497
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27784) - you deserved it (160)

On 07/20/2014 at 7:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house, intending to break up with him. Instead, I was greeted by his whole family throwing me a surprise party. I had to sit and listen to his whole family talk about what a great couple we are and how we're going to last forever. FML

#21215195
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39445) - you deserved it (1478)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:59pm - love - by I Feel Horrible - United States (California)

Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about being locked up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML

#21214798
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37530) - you deserved it (2925)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while doing some spring cleaning, I found the remains of my goldfish, which I was sure my cat ate last year. FML

#21214465
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30299) - you deserved it (4590)

On 07/19/2014 at 7:39pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

#21214404
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39495) - you deserved it (549)

On 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by Death By Parent (woman) - United States



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