Today, my parents told me they're glad I'm an "ugly nerd" because they don't have to worry about me getting into trouble or a having a teen pregnancy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (105) - you deserved it (5)
On 05/25/2013 at 8:45pm - misc - by uglynerd (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, one of my boyfriend's friends commented on how small my boobs are. My boyfriend defended me, saying it was only because I was wearing a sports bra. I wasn't. It was the push-up bra he bought me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (98) - you deserved it (8)
On 05/25/2013 at 7:12pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my parents decided that since summer is almost here, it's a great opportunity to start having nude barbecues. I found this out after walking out into the backyard, hoping to sun myself a little, only to see the living nightmare that is my parents' naked bodies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17077) - you deserved it (1396)
On 05/25/2013 at 6:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, a group of guys came into my restaurant, dressed up in some kind of role-playing game clothing. Apparently I pronounced one of their fake elf names wrong, because the guy complained to my manager, who then bitched me out in front of everyone for upsetting the customers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15269) - you deserved it (1494)
On 05/25/2013 at 6:13pm - work - by leela (woman) - United States
Today, I got on the subway with a broken leg. A kind woman stood up and offered me her seat. Before I could sit down, a guy shoved past me and took it for himself. The woman and I pointed out my cast and crutches, and asked him to give up the seat. He responded by flipping us off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18024) - you deserved it (953)
On 05/25/2013 at 12:14pm - misc - by a hex upon your anus, sir (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waited for a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took my chance. Problem was, the loud part ended abruptly. I didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23885) - you deserved it (7469)
On 05/25/2013 at 4:19am - misc - by Like_A_Sir - United States (New York)
Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over after my cousin and his girlfriend were caught in the parking lot. I was wrong, the sluttiest wedding sex goes to my drunk husband and sister in the coat room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35995) - you deserved it (2103)
On 05/25/2013 at 2:55am - love - by lizzie - Canada (Alberta)
↑ audreys510's comment : It's not too late to get it annulled.
Today, I had a customer tell me how much she regretted not aborting her expected child, how much she hates the father, and described to me in immense detail what it is like to pee while pregnant. All within the 30 seconds it took me to serve her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24433) - you deserved it (1510)
On 05/25/2013 at 1:09am - work - by mmmretail (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I locked my keys in my car. Good thing I went to Lowe's to make spares, which are also now locked in the car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19975) - you deserved it (8862)
On 05/25/2013 at 12:50am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I called my fiancé just to tell him how much I love him, as a sweet gesture. He yelled at me for interrupting his video game and blamed my "neediness" on the fact that I'm menstruating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23915) - you deserved it (4522)
On 05/25/2013 at 12:40am - love - by BellinaNico (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25630) - you deserved it (4556)
On 05/25/2013 at 12:37am - kids - by Laurel (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24229) - you deserved it (3768)
On 05/24/2013 at 7:42pm - love - by yesguysgetabusedtoo (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
↑ grahambertus's comment : Well it looks like life might get better without her.
Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23683) - you deserved it (2381)
On 05/24/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by unwilling redneck - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
↑ friedchickenpie's comment : Don't bring your kid to school; he'll tell all of your students!
See all the comments →