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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, despite having a stomach bug, I went into work, as my boss is overseas and had warned me not to take any sick leave until she returned. After 4 hours and vomiting twice, I left. She found out and sent me an email bitching me out for coming in sick. FML

#21397382
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8769) - you deserved it (763)

On 04/21/2015 at 11:40am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my nurse girlfriend told me she's more attracted to the veins in my arm than any other part of me. FML

#21397356
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8254) - you deserved it (869)

On 04/21/2015 at 9:48am - love - by veiny - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was walking in the shoes I'm going to wear for a wedding and fell, spraining my ankle. I'm the Matron of Honor and I can barely walk. The wedding is in three days. FML

Today, my dad woke me up at 5am saying that there was dog shit on the carpet. I thought it was just a clever ruse to get me into the living room for a birthday surprise. It wasn't. There really was dog shit that I had to clean up, with no "Happy birthday"s even uttered. FML

#21397338
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16323) - you deserved it (1313)

On 04/21/2015 at 8:51am - animals - by 21ShitCleaner - United States (California)

skye147's comment : It was a present from your dog!! Happy birthday!! :D

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Today, I started getting really bad chest pains at work. I googled it and the internet convinced me I was having a heart attack. Scared for my life, I started to dial for an ambulance when I let out the biggest fart you could ever imagine. Turns out it was trapped gas. FML

#21397265
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14649) - you deserved it (5591)

On 04/21/2015 at 3:55am - health - by Not dying. (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

VonBlitzkrieg's comment : A "fart attack," if you will.

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Today, I found out the only reason my parents haven't kicked me out yet is because of my OCD which makes me clean the house every single day. FML

#21397145
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18649) - you deserved it (1886)

On 04/20/2015 at 10:42pm - misc - by Zach - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was sent to the front office for having blood shot eyes and smelling like smoke. I just didn't get enough sleep and had trouble putting my contacts in, and I always smell like smoke because of my parents' excessive smoking. They didn't believe me. My parents had to come in to back me up. FML

#21397058
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18980) - you deserved it (1222)

On 04/20/2015 at 8:16pm - health - by Phabia - United States (Iowa)

HarshD9619's comment : It's funny how the date on the FMl is 4/20

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Today, my mother-in-law asked me when my fiance and I were going to start having children. When I told her we weren't planning on having any, she went on a tirade about how selfish and cold I am for denying her precious grandchildren. Now she hates me. FML

#21397047
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17305) - you deserved it (2393)

On 04/20/2015 at 7:55pm - kids - by ChildFree (woman) - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, my prom dress came in the mail. I don't know what happened with the tailoring but not only does it not fit, but it also looks like deli meat. FML

#21396978
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15772) - you deserved it (1809)

On 04/20/2015 at 5:41pm - misc - by Deli meat prom - United States (Texas)

Today, while spring cleaning, my cat came into the kitchen with a live mouse in her mouth. She looked me dead in the eyes and dropped the mouse, which then ran into my bedroom. It's been 4 hours and I still can't find it. Where's the cat? Chilling like nothing happened. FML

#21396858
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22264) - you deserved it (2309)

On 04/20/2015 at 2:06pm - animals - by craZycatLady - United States (Kansas)

Today, I received several pairs of panties in the mail that I'd ordered online. When I opened the box, I was shocked because every pair was basically huge granny-panties. I was sure none would fit properly, but I tried them on to be sure. They fit perfectly. FML

#21396824
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20715) - you deserved it (5073)

On 04/20/2015 at 1:01pm - love - by fatass - United States (Nebraska)

Today, after a relaxing week away, my husband and I came home to discover our 17 year old son crashed one of our cars against the other. FML

#21396823
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20732) - you deserved it (2317)

On 04/20/2015 at 12:57pm - money - by ihatekids - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had a theatre performance. I had to put on a lot of makeup for the role, and one of the guys said I looked nice. I smiled and said thanks. Seconds later, I'd been sucker-punched by his girlfriend for "flirting" with her man. FML

#21396780
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21065) - you deserved it (1442)

On 04/20/2015 at 10:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)



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