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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was visiting my childhood home, and I checked out my old treehouse. A family of skunks had made it their home, and I was promptly sprayed upon entering. FML

#20733333
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15248) - you deserved it (2359)

On 06/18/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by skunked - United States (California)

Today, I cut my own bangs. I pulled too much hair to the front and ended up giving myself a mullet. FML

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

#20733192
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19471) - you deserved it (2449)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

_DudeGuy_'s comment : Your roommates has a badass sense of humor.

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Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML

#20733111
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24667) - you deserved it (8680)

On 06/18/2013 at 11:02am - love - by Well, crap (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

debbster7's comment : Why go all out when something as simple as you saying "will you go out with me?" would work? Save that shit for marriage proposals.

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Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML

#20732995
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28271) - you deserved it (2576)

On 06/18/2013 at 9:06am - work - by Not a day over 35 (woman) - United States (Alaska)

speckledots's comment : well. Happy 29th Birthday!

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Today, I went to the gynecologist. In the waiting room they had decorative words that spelled out "Relax" and "Enjoy". FML

#20732921
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19861) - you deserved it (1923)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I learned that the money I work hard for on YouTube has been transferred to the wrong person's banking account. That person is my ex-girlfriend. FML

#20732776
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25319) - you deserved it (3154)

On 06/18/2013 at 2:35am - money - by Broccolliboyy (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my parents took my iPad back to the store and exchanged it for two cheap knock off tablets. Reason being my little brother threatened to run away because I had one and he didn't. I bought the iPad on my own after graduation. They kept the difference in price. FML

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

#20732635
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31818) - you deserved it (2043)

On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML

#20732528
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21835) - you deserved it (3262)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by ProAwkward - United States (Texas)

Today, I was packing up my stuff about to go home. I shut off my MacBook but was still pretending to work for the last few minutes, typing on the keyboard. A good way through, I realized my co-worker sitting across from me could see that the Apple logo was off. FML

#20732510
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9353) - you deserved it (26629)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:55pm - work - by awk1 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I started my new job as a cashier for a drugstore. As I scanned some children's medicine for a family, I gave the girl a tissue because her nose was running. Later, my boss sat me down and told me there had been a complaint about a "female pedo-employee". I'm the only woman working there. FML

#20732082
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24988) - you deserved it (1343)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

#20731946
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33107) - you deserved it (19772)

On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)



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