Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the living room. I jumped up and went running, only to find out it was my mother, who'd screamed at some dramatic plot twist in a Sex and the City episode. FML

#21243243
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (493) - you deserved it (37)

On 08/22/2014 at 4:26pm - misc - by leastitwasntsurpriseanal (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML

#21243189
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (272) - you deserved it (453)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was so desperately lonely that I begged a telemarketer not to hang up on me. FML

#21243162
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (523) - you deserved it (82)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by lonely loser (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss chewed me out for correcting several spelling and grammar mistakes in one of his reports. The words "Think you're so damn smart, don't ya?" were uttered. I'm his secretary, and proofreading his shit is part of my job. FML

#21243125
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12909) - you deserved it (786)

On 08/22/2014 at 12:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back for fun, and someone took the invitation. Unfortunately, my friend whirled around and beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back, but now I feel like a total asshole. FML

#21243070
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6420) - you deserved it (13088)

On 08/22/2014 at 10:35am - misc - by oops (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was excited to receive a rejection letter, because this was the first company to even acknowledge that I sent them a resume. FML

#21243040
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20097) - you deserved it (1320)

On 08/22/2014 at 9:14am - work - by Beeky (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML

#21243022
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19695) - you deserved it (2156)

On 08/22/2014 at 8:05am - work - by haileelouxxx (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend sent me pictures of him and his family on their trip in Florida. He accidentally included a picture of a random girl sleeping in his bed, naked. FML

#21242918
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25209) - you deserved it (1666)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:02am - love - by lolatmylife - United States

alaen23's comment : Well you should accidentally break up with him

See all the comments →

Today, my parents accused me of being secretive. I have no idea what they're talking about; all I do is work, go to school, sleep, and eat. Now I'm grounded until I tell them what's going on. I have crazy parents, that's what's going on. FML

#21242846
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22261) - you deserved it (1376)

On 08/22/2014 at 12:09am - misc - by up to no-good... - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my boss decided our 4 year relationship was unethical, so she broke up with me, then terminated my employment. FML

#21242835
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22905) - you deserved it (3152)

On 08/21/2014 at 11:53pm - love - by flyakite - United States

Warmonger_Smurf's comment : Wow, did you get fucked over.

See all the comments →

Today, I tasted a perfectly salted, crispy, and dead carpenter ant hidden in my bag of pistachios. FML

#21242612
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19221) - you deserved it (1751)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:48pm - misc - by ReluctantAntEater (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

#21242605
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27384) - you deserved it (3235)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

halcyon93's comment : Why would he think he was the one bleeding out? If anything, you'd think he'd assume you were the one hurt.

See all the comments →

Today, my boss threatened to write me up, after I made a slightly rude joke about a coworker everyone hates. A while later, a colleague told me the same joke. Turns out my boss had gone around telling it to everyone else and taking all the credit. FML

#21242576
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24725) - you deserved it (3246)

On 08/21/2014 at 4:16pm - work - by jalisc512 (man) - United States (Colorado)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: