Today, I was at a bar and met this great guy. He was going outside for a smoke and I wanted to go too. Since I don't smoke, I decided to borrow one of my friends cigarettes as an excuse to go outside with him. As I was lighting the cigarette, he pointed out that I was lighting the wrong end. FML
I agree, your life sucks (125) - you totally deserved it (1469)
On 12/19/2009 at 11:24pm - misc - by Poser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (435) - you totally deserved it (764)
On 12/19/2009 at 10:30pm - misc - by Stella (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, I was approached by a policeman who asked me if I was the owner of the green Camry. Turns out my parents decided to teach me a lesson for lying where I had been by reporting the car stolen. They also wouldn't answer my one phone call. FML
I agree, your life sucks (914) - you totally deserved it (301)
On 12/19/2009 at 10:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found a pair of glasses in my car. I don't wear glasses, and nobody besides myself has been in my car lately. It appears that someone has been sleeping in my car and forgot their glasses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (849) - you totally deserved it (116)
On 12/19/2009 at 9:40pm - misc - by chrono64 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I ran into the living room when I heard the smoke alarm going off. Turns out, my friend thought it was a good idea to melt a plastic cup on my floor heater. He also thought the best way to put it out was to urinate on it. My house smells like burnt pee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6109) - you totally deserved it (530)
On 12/19/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by neednewfriends (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I had a surprise test for Economics. While taking the test, I put my head down so I could think. A while later, I awoke to the whole class turning in their test. I had to turn in my test incomplete. No questions answered, just my name, the date, and a pool of drool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1577) - you totally deserved it (7772)
On 12/19/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by Jrlloyd013 (man) - United States (California)
Today, it's my birthday, and apparently my family forgot it. But one person didn't forget. My dog gave me a little present in my new shoes I bought for myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6629) - you totally deserved it (391)
On 12/19/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by googly191 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I can't get my heat to turn off. It is currently 87 degrees Fahrenheit in my house, and my heat is running non-stop. It's about 20 degrees outside with over a foot of snow on the ground, so a repairman can't come out to fix it. My electricity bill will be about $1000. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7942) - you totally deserved it (707)
On 12/19/2009 at 3:10pm - money - by heatproblems (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop and I noticed that there was a bug on the guys face in front of me. Trying to be nice I lightly smacked it off. His reaction was to punch me in the face. Repeatedly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1830) - you totally deserved it (9914)
On 12/19/2009 at 11:07am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was lying in bed with the worst stomach cramps ever. My boyfriend came, looked at me writhing in pain, and said, "Well at least if it's a tapeworm you'll get skinnier." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9805) - you totally deserved it (882)
On 12/19/2009 at 10:15am - love - by ouch (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my brother informed me that he had dropped my toothbrush into the toilet... After I had brushed my teeth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8118) - you totally deserved it (598)
On 12/19/2009 at 6:53am - misc - by ilike (woman) - Denmark (Arhus)
Today, when my boyfriend and I were becoming intimate, his cat decides to jump onto the bed and lie right in between us. He then informs me that he wanted to stop to "preserve his cat's innocence." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7413) - you totally deserved it (1213)
On 12/19/2009 at 5:18am - love - by Madagascar (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
I agree, your life sucks (9542) - you totally deserved it (658)
On 12/19/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Washington)
