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Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML

#20735044
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11440) - you deserved it (638)

On 06/19/2013 at 11:29am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my parents decided they are going to come with me on my first date. FML

#20734991
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13064) - you deserved it (814)

On 06/19/2013 at 10:39am - misc - by Overprotected (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he hasn't been to the dentist in two years and definitely doesn't plan on it because, "That's just how the government steals more money." FML

#20734761
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12471) - you deserved it (1611)

On 06/19/2013 at 3:22am - misc - by RoyallyGrossedOut (woman) - United States

Today, my duty manager demanded we close the bar early because she wanted to go home. I was subject to abuse from customers for closing early, then shouted at by the duty manager for not being done. My actual bar manager fired me for closing early. FML

#20734756
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15829) - you deserved it (1191)

On 06/19/2013 at 3:18am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

#20733893
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15558) - you deserved it (6457)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm - animals - by CatLover<3 - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter believed that watching the Big Bang Theory would count as studying for her chemistry final. FML

#20733887
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16520) - you deserved it (2325)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my sister came to stay with me in my apartment for the last few weeks of her difficult pregnancy. However she didn't tell me she was bringing her two dogs, her jackass of a husband, my bratty nephew and an inflatable kiddie pool so she could have a natural water birth in my living room. FML

#20733830
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22706) - you deserved it (1911)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:48pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML

#20733745
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20210) - you deserved it (3446)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:01pm - money - by No money, mo' problems - United States

↑ graceinsheepwear's comment : Sounds like you've been scammed.

See all the comments →

Today, I was visiting my childhood home, and I checked out my old treehouse. A family of skunks had made it their home, and I was promptly sprayed upon entering. FML

#20733333
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24968) - you deserved it (3893)

On 06/18/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by skunked - United States (California)

Today, I cut my own bangs. I pulled too much hair to the front and ended up giving myself a mullet. FML

#20733203
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12488) - you deserved it (26717)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:28pm - misc - by kittykittyrun (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

↑ k_lylepad's comment : Business in the front, party in the back!

See all the comments →

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

#20733192
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29399) - you deserved it (3738)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

↑ _DudeGuy_'s comment : Your roommates has a badass sense of humor.

See all the comments →

Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML

#20733111
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31137) - you deserved it (11777)

On 06/18/2013 at 11:02am - love - by Well, crap (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML

#20732995
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35346) - you deserved it (3360)

On 06/18/2013 at 9:06am - work - by Not a day over 35 (woman) - United States (Alaska)



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