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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, after replacing several components on my new used car, I realized that the reason it wasn't getting the gas mileage it was supposed to because my coworkers take turns siphoning my gas while I work. FML

#21435168
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (920) - you deserved it (59)

On 07/02/2015 at 12:16am - work - by thatshelpful - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found out where my sister's pet lizard escaped to. I also found out that the little shit likes to hide in dark, cold places. I discovered this when I heard the bastard squeal as I started the lawnmower. FML

#21435132
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (815) - you deserved it (84)

On 07/01/2015 at 11:10pm - animals - by Alex Andreas - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I sent the girl I like flowers, only to have her later post a picture of them online, saying, "ha when losers send you flowers". FML

#21435086
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3310) - you deserved it (229)

On 07/01/2015 at 10:04pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mother-in-law started chasing my kids around her house to make them smell her freshly-washed underwear. They were thongs. FML

#21435026
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2979) - you deserved it (194)

On 07/01/2015 at 7:38pm - misc - by bleachingmykidsbrains - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my flight was at the other side of the airport. I ran to the gate, to find that the flight had moved to the other side of the airport. So I ran again to miss my plane by a minute. However I did get a new flight... at the other end of the airport. FML

#21434898
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4759) - you deserved it (324)

On 07/01/2015 at 3:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad texted me, saying "My dicks so hard 4 u". I'm desperately hoping he meant to send that to his girlfriend instead. FML

#21434895
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15086) - you deserved it (925)

On 07/01/2015 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

colvindj's comment : look at it this way, at least it wasn't a pic.

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Today, our family dog died. A couple of hours after the death, my mother-in-law slapped my crying five year old son over the head and told him to "Man up." She totally refuses to admit she did anything wrong. FML

#21434878
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15924) - you deserved it (1023)

On 07/01/2015 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

mikeman1744's comment : Bury your mother-in-law next to the dog

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Today, I spent nearly half an hour looking for my favourite pair of shoes. I ended up getting so pissed off that I accused my boyfriend of stealing them. He then pointed out that I was wearing them. FML

#21434871
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7016) - you deserved it (16024)

On 07/01/2015 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

eliotherbst's comment : Umm... this is entirely your fault.

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Today, we had a long meeting at work about how we are supposed to feel safe, and to come to the managers if we have any problems. I decided to speak up about a coworker that has been harassing me and several others. My manager laughed at me and walked away. FML

#21434786
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18158) - you deserved it (1128)

On 07/01/2015 at 9:44am - work - by nevergiveinever - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the only reason my husband agreed to marriage counselling is because he finds our therapist attractive. FML

#21434782
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17513) - you deserved it (1448)

On 07/01/2015 at 9:35am - love - by ouch - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML

#21434600
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18101) - you deserved it (2988)

On 06/30/2015 at 10:40pm - work - by stink - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learned I don't have a yeast infection. I have herpes. FML

#21434596
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18045) - you deserved it (4986)

On 06/30/2015 at 10:21pm - health - by quiet_screaming_ - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a dog bit me on the bus. Instead of apologising, its owner said it was my fault because, 'my hands must smell of meat'. I'm a vegetarian. FML

#21434496
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18420) - you deserved it (1492)

On 06/30/2015 at 6:19pm - animals - by A - United Kingdom (Ealing)



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