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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, after helping run salads and bread to a table, they demanded I do something about the bug problem. I would've been more understanding if they hadn't chosen to sit outside. FML

#21435223
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (420) - you deserved it (16)

On 07/02/2015 at 2:40am - work - by smokecloud_ - United States (Ohio)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend came to see me and told me that he had a surprise for me. I was excited at the idea of a romantic gesture, but forgot about it until he arrived and things began heating up. As I was removing his pants, I said, "Ooh, you shaved!" to which he replied, "Surprise!" FML

#21435204
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (398) - you deserved it (39)

On 07/02/2015 at 1:53am - intimacy - by YouCouldHaveAtLeastPutABowOnIt (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I quit my job so I wouldn't have to work with this one complete fuck-wit anymore. I told him what I thought of him, and then walked away giving him the middle finger. Turns out, he is a regular customer at my new job. Everyone loves him and thinks he's awesome. FML

#21435181
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2734) - you deserved it (1012)

On 07/02/2015 at 12:49am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found a friend's gold ring in some grass after a intense 10-minute search in the dark. As well as thanks, I've now got a new nickname. You can now call me Gollum. FML

#21435249
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4384) - you deserved it (510) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/02/2015 at 12:30am - misc - by Smeagogole - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, after replacing several components on my new used car, I realized that the reason it wasn't getting the gas mileage it was supposed to because my coworkers take turns siphoning my gas while I work. FML

#21435168
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5655) - you deserved it (360)

On 07/02/2015 at 12:16am - work - by thatshelpful - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found out where my sister's pet lizard escaped to. I also found out that the little shit likes to hide in dark, cold places. I discovered this when I heard the bastard squeal as I started the lawnmower. FML

#21435132
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5022) - you deserved it (448)

On 07/01/2015 at 11:10pm - animals - by Alex Andreas - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I sent the girl I like flowers, only to have her later post a picture of them online, saying, "ha when losers send you flowers". FML

#21435086
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7705) - you deserved it (584)

On 07/01/2015 at 10:04pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mother-in-law started chasing my kids around her house to make them smell her freshly-washed underwear. They were thongs. FML

#21435026
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6548) - you deserved it (441)

On 07/01/2015 at 7:38pm - misc - by bleachingmykidsbrains - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my flight was at the other side of the airport. I ran to the gate, to find that the flight had moved to the other side of the airport. So I ran again to miss my plane by a minute. However I did get a new flight... at the other end of the airport. FML

#21434898
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8205) - you deserved it (582)

On 07/01/2015 at 3:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad texted me, saying "My dicks so hard 4 u". I'm desperately hoping he meant to send that to his girlfriend instead. FML

#21434895
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16832) - you deserved it (1049)

On 07/01/2015 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

colvindj's comment : look at it this way, at least it wasn't a pic.

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Today, our family dog died. A couple of hours after the death, my mother-in-law slapped my crying five year old son over the head and told him to "Man up." She totally refuses to admit she did anything wrong. FML

#21434878
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17746) - you deserved it (1155)

On 07/01/2015 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

mikeman1744's comment : Bury your mother-in-law next to the dog

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Today, I spent nearly half an hour looking for my favourite pair of shoes. I ended up getting so pissed off that I accused my boyfriend of stealing them. He then pointed out that I was wearing them. FML

#21434871
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7674) - you deserved it (18233)

On 07/01/2015 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

eliotherbst's comment : Umm... this is entirely your fault.

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Today, we had a long meeting at work about how we are supposed to feel safe, and to come to the managers if we have any problems. I decided to speak up about a coworker that has been harassing me and several others. My manager laughed at me and walked away. FML

#21434786
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19281) - you deserved it (1204)

On 07/01/2015 at 9:44am - work - by nevergiveinever - United States (Pennsylvania)



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