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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I walked outside to see the fireworks. I also got to see my neighbors burning a couch in the parking lot of my apartment complex to celebrate, right next to my car. FML

#21436342
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4572) - you deserved it (260)

On 07/04/2015 at 1:27pm - misc - by hamiltonma - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got punched in the face, had hair ripped out of my skull and broke a tooth on the pavement when I fell. Some guy mistook me for someone else. FML

#21436269
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4961) - you deserved it (301)

On 07/04/2015 at 9:18am - misc - by Zizi (woman) - Norway (Nordland)

Today, my internet was so slow I couldn't even load an internet speed test to see how slow my internet was. FML

#21436232
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8026) - you deserved it (692)

On 07/04/2015 at 5:30am - misc - by bbcgj - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, one of my friends asked me to flirt with her boyfriend to see if he would flirt back. Knowing this was a trust test, I agreed. She got pissed at me when he flirted back and still isn't speaking to me. FML

#21436223
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8032) - you deserved it (1379)

On 07/04/2015 at 4:55am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Iwtumn's comment : I hope you guys aren't older than 12. Seriously, if you feel like you have to do trust tests that should tell you that your boy/girlfriend isn't the one for you and also that you aren't ready for a relationship.

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Today, I got hit in the face by a ping-pong ball. It hit me so hard, it burst a big zit on impact. FML

#21436170
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10646) - you deserved it (1146)

On 07/04/2015 at 2:25am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML

#21436148
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11472) - you deserved it (1498)

On 07/04/2015 at 1:02am - intimacy - by alison (woman) - United States

qwertycode's comment : At least he's comfortable around you :]

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Today, I had to lie to my coworkers about me and some guy beating the absolute shite out of each other in a bar fight, all to avoid admitting my black eye was from my 7 year old son punching me in the face the other day. FML

#21436121
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12102) - you deserved it (3704)

On 07/03/2015 at 11:41pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

PenguinBitch's comment : We all know the toothpaste cap gave you the black eye, don't lie.

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Today, I took an online IQ test, even though I knew they give everyone unrealistically high scores. My score was 73. FML

#21436113
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12211) - you deserved it (2864)

On 07/03/2015 at 11:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my husband's 70-year-old uncle came for a visit. Since we only have 2 bedrooms, we set him up in our daughter's room. Later, I glanced into the room and saw him masturbating in her bed. FML

#21436083
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17383) - you deserved it (1467)

On 07/03/2015 at 10:31pm - misc - by okaydisarray (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at a restaurant where the host is an attractive guy with only one arm. I was with my family, so I didn't want to be too obvious when checking him out. It seems like I was, though, because he came over and told me it was rude to stare at his arm. FML

#21436059
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15038) - you deserved it (2294)

On 07/03/2015 at 9:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, while on a cruise that I paid for, I was forced to babysit my 5 bratty nieces while my sister and her deadbeat boyfriend relaxed in the kid free zone. FML

#21436048
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16173) - you deserved it (3199)

On 07/03/2015 at 9:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I decided I wanted to bleach my hair, so I asked my mother for help. Apparently, something went wrong, because clumps of my hair started falling out. Now I'm half blonde and half bald, and my mom is just laughing at me. FML

#21436042
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14929) - you deserved it (4121)

On 07/03/2015 at 8:54pm - misc - by notquitejuliet - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML

#21435969
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17296) - you deserved it (1103)

On 07/03/2015 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by but cum to think of it... (man) -



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