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Today, I found out my mom put breast milk in my cereal until I was 7 years old. FML

#21413959
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10653) - you deserved it (950)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:17am - health - by Anonymous - United States

dudeguybruh's comment : She wanted to be breast friends with you

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Today, I had to ask one of my coworkers if we were supposed to return a client's teeth to her. I work at a jewellery store. FML

#21413953
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8603) - you deserved it (686)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:02am - work - by grossedout (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML

#21413860
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7264) - you deserved it (7985)

On 05/22/2015 at 3:36am - health - by missko519 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

platypus546's comment : gingers don't tan, silly rabbit

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Today, my girlfriend of a week showed me her talent: shooting milk out of her vagina across the room. Goodbye dairy products. FML

#21413854
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12588) - you deserved it (1384)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by zzarzzur (man) - United States (California)

lysx84's comment : I often wonder how people discover such talents. I suspect far too much free time...

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Today, I found out that my flatmate wears my underwear. FML

#21413767
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11334) - you deserved it (847)

On 05/21/2015 at 10:22pm - misc - by anon - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I missed my bus. But it didn't miss me. I've been in the hospital for 8 hours with a broken leg. FML

#21413750
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14315) - you deserved it (998)

On 05/21/2015 at 9:55pm - money - by FrickingBusDrivers (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I waited tables for the first time at my new restaurant job. I asked a group of older men what they would like. One replied, "A slice of that ass". I'm 19 and a guy. FML

#21413610
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20832) - you deserved it (1856)

On 05/21/2015 at 4:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I decided to get in shape for swimsuit season, so I went to the gym. I tried to lift a barbell up and over my head, which was fine, until I dropped it. Exercise earned me a concussion and a neck brace. FML

#21413444
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15210) - you deserved it (7037)

On 05/21/2015 at 8:22am - health - by crossfitter -

Today, I backed into an expensive SUV only minutes after my boss congratulated me for being the only employee to not wreck a company car. FML

#21413424
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20027) - you deserved it (3627)

On 05/21/2015 at 6:48am - work - by pgmonster - United States (California)

Today, it was the first time a guy has shown any interest in me by calling me pretty. I was so shocked that instead of saying thank you, I hid behind the nearest object and promptly giggle-snorted. FML

Today, after being a resident DJ at a local club for over 4 years, I got fired. Not because I'm bad at what I do, but because my boss thinks I'm not 'having fun like the other DJs'. And by 'having fun' he means that I don't drink enough. I got fired for not being an alcoholic. FML

#21413333
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21697) - you deserved it (1391)

On 05/20/2015 at 11:56pm - work - by SFBEL - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, I got a call from a really great company that I applied to work for, asking me to come in for an interview. When I went in, they had no appointment scheduled and no idea who I was. It turned out it was all a prank by my brother and his friends. My brother is 30. FML

#21413299
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21731) - you deserved it (1419)

On 05/20/2015 at 10:49pm - work - by stilljobless (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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