Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I'm so broke that I had to call in sick to work because I couldn't afford to pay my bus fare. FML

#21260606
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3562) - you deserved it (337)

On 09/18/2014 at 11:38am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, my boyfriend convinced my 4-year-old sister that girls don't poop. She won't stop crying and now thinks she's a freak. FML

#21260556
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3375) - you deserved it (258)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:16am - kids - by Anonymous - Kenya

Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML

#21260464
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4250) - you deserved it (361)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out I'm allergic to bug repellent. So instead of having a couple of itchy bug bites, my skin feels like it's on fire and is violently itchy everywhere the repellent has touched. FML

#21260387
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13503) - you deserved it (962)

On 09/18/2014 at 12:05am - health - by adamwilcockson - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15628) - you deserved it (1705)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that the only girl who's ever called me cute or handsome is actually a compulsive liar. FML

#21260295
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16066) - you deserved it (1219)

On 09/17/2014 at 9:37pm - misc - by compulsiveliarssaytheylikeme - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my wife named our son after her ex-lover. FML

#21260166
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17897) - you deserved it (1289)

On 09/17/2014 at 6:10pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

#21260160
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17122) - you deserved it (1820)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:57pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my friends came over to my house to eat my food and make fun of me as they played on my Xbox. FML

#21260159
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16306) - you deserved it (4071)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:56pm - misc - by iAmJasper - United States (Wisconsin)

thefmljellyfish's comment : Then they're not your real friends

See all the comments →

Today, my girlfriend admitted that she "probably wasn't even sober" when I asked her out and she said yes. Our almost 2-year relationship is the longest drunken mistake ever. FML

#21260142
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16923) - you deserved it (1430)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:22pm - love - by KayEffEh (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was eating a hot fudge sundae and I complained that the fudge was at the very bottom and I couldn't reach it with my spoon. My husband muttered "Fat girl problems." FML

#21260102
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24584) - you deserved it (7344)

On 09/17/2014 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

geekbuscus's comment : Sounds like he's got asshole problems.

See all the comments →

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend. He said it was because he lived 2 hours away, but I think the ultrasound photos his other girlfriend posted proudly on his Facebook wall are the real reason. FML

#21260092
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28050) - you deserved it (2627)

On 09/17/2014 at 3:48pm - love - by kitkat (woman) - United States

Codezlol's comment : Meh you're better off without him. Good luck!

See all the comments →

Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML

#21259933
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27900) - you deserved it (1815)

On 09/17/2014 at 8:18am - misc - by makeyourselfathome (man) - Australia (Victoria)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: