Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I asked my friend to download Frozen for me, because my mom wanted to play it for family movie night. The movie was shit, but it got even worse halfway through, when it cut to hardcore porn and a text bar saying "umad?" Now I'm grounded, and my "friend" is a legend for his prank. FML

#21346882
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (677) - you deserved it (121)

On 01/30/2015 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

#21346857
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (694) - you deserved it (63)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my sister asked me how my boyfriend was doing. He died two years ago. She was the first person I told. FML

#21346806
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (688) - you deserved it (54)

On 01/30/2015 at 1:11pm - misc - by lonesomegal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML

#21346789
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10159) - you deserved it (1026)

On 01/30/2015 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and I noticed my boyfriend had commented on a post. It said, "Tag the hottest girl you know". Yeah, he tagged his ex. FML

#21346763
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10589) - you deserved it (998)

On 01/30/2015 at 11:27am - misc - by Idek - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. In the middle of it he said, "I want us to be covalent bonds". I didn't understand what he meant, and he actually stopped to explain it to me. FML

#21346746
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8552) - you deserved it (2276)

On 01/30/2015 at 10:11am - intimacy - by Chemist-why (woman) - United States (California)

Nymeria's comment : I guess it's more of a hydrogen bond now, right? Not so strong.

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Today, I'm on a train, feeling good because I got upgraded to first class. The man opposite me just slid me a note saying, "Wee plooky cunt, fuck off!" Charming. FML

#21346702
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11723) - you deserved it (892)

On 01/30/2015 at 7:49am - misc - by Anonymous -

AverageJoey's comment : Slid him a another note saying "u fokin wot m8?"

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Today, I bought a small tub of coconut pieces in a bid to eat healthier snacks at work. I noticed that the chunks were a bit slimy, but thought nothing of it and kept eating. It wasn't until I reached the final few pieces that I noticed a huge black slug crawling across the bottom of the tub. FML

#21346678
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14120) - you deserved it (2459)

On 01/30/2015 at 6:00am - misc - by goodbyediet (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

paigexox0's comment : Wtf i think it being slimy should have told you something was very off

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Today, I received a panicked email from one of my university students on my course on Russian history, stating that he'd "always thought Stalin was fake, like the moon landing". FML

#21346676
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12816) - you deserved it (955)

On 01/30/2015 at 5:51am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML

#21346656
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12155) - you deserved it (1061)

On 01/30/2015 at 4:00am - love - by wtf - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was excited that my sister called me for the first time in months. She asked me to stop watching "Friends" so she could use the Netflix account. Now, I still have an absentee sister and no Friends. FML

#21346655
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13065) - you deserved it (1428)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I came back to my dormitory after a long shift at work. After using the toilet, I looked at myself in the mirror, only to find a huge piece of food stuck between my front teeth. I work at one of the fanciest restaurants in town; nobody bothered to tell me anything. FML

#21346560
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12752) - you deserved it (1284)

On 01/29/2015 at 11:53pm - work - by Eyalsh (man) - Germany (Mecklenburg-Vorpommern)

Today, I went to get a haircut. Who shows up not 5 minutes later to also get a haircut? My obnoxious, bully of a boss. She started chatting with me across the salon the entire time. There was no way to get out of the conversation. FML

#21346487
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13728) - you deserved it (1008)

On 01/29/2015 at 9:50pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)



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