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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was excited to receive a rejection letter, because this was the first company to even acknowledge I sent them a resume. FML

#21243040
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8000) - you deserved it (488)

On 08/22/2014 at 9:14am - work - by Beeky (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML

#21243022
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7829) - you deserved it (802)

On 08/22/2014 at 8:05am - work - by haileelouxxx (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend sent me pictures of him and his family on their trip in Florida. He accidentally included a picture of a random girl sleeping in his bed, naked. FML

#21242918
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13499) - you deserved it (882)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:02am - love - by lolatmylife - United States

Today, my parents accused me of being secretive. I have no idea what they're talking about; all I do is work, go to school, sleep, and eat. Now I'm grounded until I tell them what's going on. I have crazy parents, that's what's going on. FML

#21242846
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11996) - you deserved it (745)

On 08/22/2014 at 12:09am - misc - by up to no-good... - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my boss decided our 4 year relationship was unethical, so she broke up with me, then terminated my employment. FML

#21242835
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14749) - you deserved it (2039)

On 08/21/2014 at 11:53pm - love - by flyakite - United States

Today, I tasted a perfectly salted, crispy, and dead carpenter ant hidden in my bag of pistachios. FML

#21242612
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12422) - you deserved it (1111)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:48pm - misc - by ReluctantAntEater (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

#21242605
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21254) - you deserved it (2498)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

halcyon93's comment : Why would he think he was the one bleeding out? If anything, you'd think he'd assume you were the one hurt.

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Today, my boss threatened to write me up, after I made a slightly rude joke about a coworker everyone hates. A while later, a colleague told me the same joke. Turns out my boss had gone around telling it to everyone else and taking all the credit. FML

#21242576
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19341) - you deserved it (2590)

On 08/21/2014 at 4:16pm - work - by jalisc512 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

#21242552
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20420) - you deserved it (1317)

On 08/21/2014 at 3:30pm - misc - by stepshart - Canada (Ontario)

liquidhydrogen's comment : What a bitch... You need to install secret cameras in your room to catch her in action. Then show it to your dad. Only solid proof will win this war.

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Today, on my first day at as a photo editor at a print store, I had to spend over an hour editing a full shoot of a fat man eating a baguette in a bathtub, closeups included. FML

#21242471
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23103) - you deserved it (2106)

On 08/21/2014 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24150) - you deserved it (4488)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

rhysfucker's comment : That's what he was hoping for.

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Today, I talked to a girl I like. I tried to make her jealous by telling her I had a "thing" going with another girl. She looked deeply into my eyes and said, "Wait, aren't you gay?" FML

#21242399
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27276) - you deserved it (10211)

On 08/21/2014 at 11:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got fired after three days at my new job. They told me it was because of downsizing. They were still interviewing people and had a help wanted sign in the window. FML



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