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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my friend took our prank war too far when he secretly added peanuts to my food. I have a peanut allergy. FML

#21289188
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2552) - you deserved it (201)

On 10/31/2014 at 5:12pm - health - by peanutprobs - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a pirate. Someone complimented me on how convincing the fake teeth were that I had on for my costume. I wasn't wearing fake teeth. FML

#21289034
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2784) - you deserved it (475)

On 10/31/2014 at 11:56am - misc - by iliveformystery (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a customer bought several drill bits. When I asked him, "Do you want a bag for your bits?" he just stared at me uncomfortably, apparently thinking I was trying to come onto him. FML

#21289001
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2412) - you deserved it (242)

On 10/31/2014 at 10:27am - work - by hardwarekit (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was pulled over and fined $100 for driving without a license, as I'd accidentally left home without my wallet. I later found my wallet wedged beside my car seat, where it had been the entire time. FML

#21288966
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12008) - you deserved it (2053)

On 10/31/2014 at 9:35am - money - by emptypockets - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, we told my fiancé's parents that I'm pregnant. His mom's response? "I'm going to throw up. You can't raise a child." We are both 28, self-sufficient and everyone else is thrilled. FML

#21288954
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12039) - you deserved it (964)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:58am - kids - by kimmykins27 (woman) - United States

Today, as I was walking home from work, I got chased halfway home by a wolf. Yes, a wolf. I live in central Norway. FML

#21288944
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12605) - you deserved it (912)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:31am - animals - by noxiffic (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I woke up really early to get ready for an interview. I guess it was too early because my mom thought someone broke into our house and now I have two bruised ribs. FML

#21288937
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11056) - you deserved it (841)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:05am - misc - by nopethanks - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

#21288917
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11868) - you deserved it (949)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, my friend thought she would "save me some time" by spoiling Game of Thrones. FML

#21288916
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13154) - you deserved it (1722)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, the fire alarm keeps going off at my apartment. Not only is the noise ear-piercingly loud enough to wake the entire neighbourhood, there's also a big flashing red light in case the deafening sound isn't enough. This is my day off. It's going on all day. FML

#21288915
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12058) - you deserved it (982)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:42am - misc - by Shutup! - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I came to the conclusion I have three kids instead of two, after having to force my husband to take a shower. It's been a week. FML

#21288837
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13871) - you deserved it (1355)

On 10/31/2014 at 1:10am - health - by NoScrubs - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the girl on Facebook that helped me out of my sadness after my break-up and who I'd hopelessly fallen in love with was just a prank by my ex-girlfriend. FML

#21288808
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16098) - you deserved it (1825)

On 10/31/2014 at 12:25am - love - by facebookdeception - New Zealand (Auckland)

doumtabarnack's comment : That evil bitch.

See all the comments →

Today, my ex-girlfriend started dating the guy she told me not to worry about when we dated. FML

#21288806
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18905) - you deserved it (1869)

On 10/31/2014 at 12:24am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)



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