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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my mom got mad at me because I wouldn't write to Ellen Degeneres about her. She now won't talk to me. FML

#21405568
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7346) - you deserved it (637)

On 05/06/2015 at 9:36am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally reached the point where it became necessary to give my boyfriend an ultimatum: either clip your toenails, or we aren't having sex. FML

#21405555
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8734) - you deserved it (823)

On 05/06/2015 at 8:50am - love - by anon - United States (Kansas)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's scared, because her period is late, and that they're usually on time. Five hours late apparently. FML

#21405471
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10204) - you deserved it (876) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/06/2015 at 1:24am - love - by Anonyme - France

WCARlover's comment : Dang I wish you could predict your period down to the exact hour...that would be super handy.

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Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML

#21405462
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11465) - you deserved it (1399)

On 05/06/2015 at 1:22am - kids - by seethroughpee - Canada (Alberta)

Allornone's comment : your daughter is all kinds of awesome.

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Today, I told my husband I felt unfulfilled and unhappy in my life. He suggested I do more chores. FML

#21405437
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11263) - you deserved it (1333)

On 05/06/2015 at 12:13am - misc - by msleea - United States (California)

Today, the cops showed up at our door at 11 pm. Apparently, our neighbours thought I was being abused because they heard high-pitched screaming for 45 minutes straight. Little did they know our 6-month-old baby screams when she's happy. Loudly. FML

Today, I went to surprise my mom by visiting her in the hospital. I brought her roses too, because I know she likes flowers. When I got there and gave her them, she said, "Wow. Roses." followed by, "David actually brings flowers I like." David's my brother. Now I know who's the favorite child. FML

#21405168
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13057) - you deserved it (979)

On 05/05/2015 at 3:56pm - misc - by dkh34 - United States (Indiana)

Today, marks the fourth day in a row that I've worn the same outfit to prove to my parents that they pay me no attention. They still haven't noticed. FML

#21405167
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13536) - you deserved it (1636)

On 05/05/2015 at 3:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

raysmith121's comment : Poop in the living room. I bet they'll notice that

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Today, I found out the "sex noises" I heard from next door last night, which I'd angrily yelled at my neighbor for, were actually from him having an uncontrollable seizure. FML

#21405133
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18612) - you deserved it (6820)

On 05/05/2015 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by 420curse (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realised I've been depressed about my recent break up for longer than the relationship even lasted. FML

#21405104
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18683) - you deserved it (3511)

On 05/05/2015 at 1:09pm - love - by lonely - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML

#21405071
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19437) - you deserved it (1958)

On 05/05/2015 at 11:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to play the hot and cold game with my boyfriend until he found my clitoris. FML

#21405064
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23095) - you deserved it (3128)

On 05/05/2015 at 11:13am - intimacy - by baby_trex_arms - United States (California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said, "Sure, but not yet." As we've been together for five years, I was a bit confused, but she cleared that up with, "Not until your dad has died, I don't want him to ruin my wedding with a bad toast." FML

#21405053
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23817) - you deserved it (1921)

On 05/05/2015 at 10:44am - love - by inheritance (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)



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