Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I found out that there's a very loud and frisky couple living above my bedroom, and a family with a crying baby living above my living room. At this rate, I'll end up sleeping in the bathtub in my own home. FML

#21288322
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10842) - you deserved it (748)

On 10/30/2014 at 10:15am - misc - by ineedsleep (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I told my boyfriend that it's time for him to stop blaming others and own up to his mistakes. He retorted, "Don't blame me!" FML

#21288212
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11219) - you deserved it (1217)

On 10/30/2014 at 3:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I tried approaching this cute girl. She quickly picked up the nearest calculator and started talking into it, in a desperate act to seem busy. FML

#21288185
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13917) - you deserved it (1406)

On 10/30/2014 at 1:38am - love - by 41yearoldvirgin - United States (California)

Today, I got sick at school. When someone called my mom for permission for me to leave, she told them she doesn't have a daughter and to never call that number again. FML

#21288116
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17912) - you deserved it (1175)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:58pm - misc - by thealaskanyoung - United States (Indiana)

Today, my skinny co-worker complained that sitting just underneath the AC vent was making her too cold. My boss had us switch places, because "your mass keeps you warm anyway". FML

#21288043
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16291) - you deserved it (2379)

On 10/29/2014 at 10:41pm - work - by OfficeFatty - United States

Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML

#21287735
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21601) - you deserved it (2077)

On 10/29/2014 at 3:39pm - kids - by lexigan4 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my dad vehemently refused to let me go on vacation to France with my best friend, because he watched Taken a few months ago and apparently forgot that it's just a movie. FML

#21287659
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21732) - you deserved it (2791)

On 10/29/2014 at 1:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

TechnicallyWrong's comment : Kidnapping happens all of the time. You never know, be happy with your dad because he obviously loves you.

See all the comments →

Today, I woke up to a text from my manager, saying "Hed's up dude, ur gettin fired tomoz. CEO's pissed. No hard feelins m8". Great. FML

#21287630
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22430) - you deserved it (1727)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:46am - work - by fired tomoz (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

devildog562's comment : Sounds like you may be better off . At least you co worker sounds like a teenager not a professional.

See all the comments →

Today, I watched as the teenage neighbor girl tried to parallel-park between me and my wife's cars. She was doing pretty well until she backed into mine, got scared, hit the accelerator and ran into my wife's. FML

#21287621
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29264) - you deserved it (2096)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:24am - misc - by carless - United States

Today, my little sister decided to color-in my favorite black-and-white comic book. It was worth over $200. When I told my mother, she said, "Oh that old thing? I thought it was a stupid coloring book you were too stupid to color." FML

Micah_Nobot's comment : Completely rude and ignorant of them sorry OP

See all the comments →

Today, trying to be a good role model for the kids behind me, I stopped and thoroughly checked both sides of the road before crossing. I still managed to get hit by a car. FML

#21287500
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25937) - you deserved it (4892)

On 10/29/2014 at 4:19am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had my first job interview. The manager asks me to sell him his pen. Thinking I'm all smart, I reenact the scene from the Wolf of Wall Street and say, 'Write down your name'. He calmly reaches into his drawer, takes out another pen and writes his name down. He then looks at me and laughs. FML

#21287428
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24279) - you deserved it (6149)

On 10/29/2014 at 12:55am - work - by shadysheikh - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML

#21287196
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24688) - you deserved it (2514)

On 10/28/2014 at 7:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: