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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my parents told me they don't think I'll ever find a boyfriend, and insist on referring to my future cats as their "grandkids". FML

#21289318
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (460) - you deserved it (30)

On 10/31/2014 at 9:16pm - love - by really - United States

Today, I was walking back to my dorm with my boyfriend. He was being really sweet as he held my hand. We were about to kiss goodnight and as he pushed some hair out of my face he said, "Can we hurry it up? I'm about to rip one." FML

#21289293
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (429) - you deserved it (48)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:39pm - love - by grossedout -

Today, I was a pregnant man for Halloween. Everyone at school thought it was funny, except my principal, who gave me a detention and said it was, "inappropriate and making a pregnant teacher feel uncomfortable". That pregnant teacher asked me to take a selfie with her. FML

#21289257
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4349) - you deserved it (279)

On 10/31/2014 at 7:28pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my best friend told me that she was a virgin again because she hadn't had sex in 6 months. She's 19 and actually believes it. FML

#21289249
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3741) - you deserved it (331)

On 10/31/2014 at 7:10pm - misc - by AnonymousAmber - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my friend took our prank war too far when he secretly added peanuts to my food. I have a peanut allergy. FML

#21289188
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12618) - you deserved it (1038)

On 10/31/2014 at 5:12pm - health - by peanutprobs - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a pirate. Someone complimented me on how convincing the fake teeth were that I had on for my costume. I wasn't wearing fake teeth. FML

#21289034
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11539) - you deserved it (2120)

On 10/31/2014 at 11:56am - misc - by iliveformystery (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a customer bought several drill bits. When I asked him, "Do you want a bag for your bits?" he just stared at me uncomfortably, apparently thinking I was trying to come onto him. FML

#21289001
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10158) - you deserved it (969)

On 10/31/2014 at 10:27am - work - by hardwarekit (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was pulled over and fined $100 for driving without a license, as I'd accidentally left home without my wallet. I later found my wallet wedged beside my car seat, where it had been the entire time. FML

#21288966
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17205) - you deserved it (3163)

On 10/31/2014 at 9:35am - money - by emptypockets - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, we told my fiancé's parents that I'm pregnant. His mom's response? "I'm going to throw up. You can't raise a child." We are both 28, self-sufficient and everyone else is thrilled. FML

#21288954
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17279) - you deserved it (1407)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:58am - kids - by kimmykins27 (woman) - United States

Today, as I was walking home from work, I got chased halfway home by a wolf. Yes, a wolf. I live in central Norway. FML

#21288944
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18057) - you deserved it (1360)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:31am - animals - by noxiffic (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I woke up really early to get ready for an interview. I guess it was too early because my mom thought someone broke into our house and now I have two bruised ribs. FML

#21288937
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15788) - you deserved it (1243)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:05am - misc - by nopethanks - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

#21288917
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16807) - you deserved it (1412)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, my friend thought she would "save me some time" by spoiling Game of Thrones. FML

#21288916
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17074) - you deserved it (2271)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia



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