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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, it's been almost 2 months since I moved into my new place, and it's the first time a girl has slept in my bed. I also slept on my new couch for the first time. FML

#21367098
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (508) - you deserved it (61) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/02/2015 at 9:03pm - love - by Marc (man) - Hong Kong

Today, I got a new job and told everyone about it. A few hours later, I got an email from the executive saying I actually don't have the job anymore. FML

#21366823
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (620) - you deserved it (48)

On 03/02/2015 at 8:42pm - work - by dontplaywithmyfeelings - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML

#21366785
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (593) - you deserved it (345)

On 03/02/2015 at 7:48pm - misc - by Microtron - United States (Ohio)

Today, I noticed my ex was feeling down. We ended things on good terms and I've been wanting to start things up again, so I figured I'd bring him dinner to cheer him up and maybe hang out. Looks like him and his one night stand get to eat my home cooked food while I go home to Netflix. FML

#21366769
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1073) - you deserved it (388)

On 03/02/2015 at 7:29pm - love - by forget it - United States (Utah)

Today, I was demoted as a bridesmaid in of a wedding because I dyed my hair, and didn't ask permission from the bride to do so. The bride is my sister. FML

#21366737
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1629) - you deserved it (284)

On 03/02/2015 at 6:37pm - misc - by punkchicka4 - United States (Ohio)

Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

#21366627
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6981) - you deserved it (26105)

On 03/02/2015 at 3:40pm - health - by teapotrevolt - Canada (Manitoba)

rocketgurl's comment : OP: 0 Jogger: 1

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Today, after many tests and doctor visits, I finally found out the reason for my flu-like symptoms isn't a vitamin deficient or anything. The damn tea I drink every morning makes me feel sick. FML

Today, I realized I hate my boyfriend's little sister enough to break up with him. FML

#21366485
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16369) - you deserved it (3522)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:31am - love - by sorry... - United States (Delaware)

toongler's comment : well if you really loved your boyfriend you wouldnt even consider dumping him an option. sorry, but it sounds like whether you hate his sister or not, the relationship won't work.

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Today, my ex gave me a heartwarming speech about how much he wanted me back. After talking for hours and me finally wanting to get back together too, he started mentioning a date he has with a cute colleague. Conclusion: he wants to get back together, but still be able to fuck the entire world. FML

#21366438
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21249) - you deserved it (2028)

On 03/02/2015 at 9:04am - intimacy - by donotbelieveinsecondchances (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

WCARlover's comment : Exes are exes for a reason

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Today, I fell out of a window while trying to close it so no one would fall out. FML

#21366431
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20006) - you deserved it (2746)

On 03/02/2015 at 8:26am - misc - by meeeee! - United States (Delaware)

Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML

#21366308
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21248) - you deserved it (1799)

On 03/02/2015 at 12:14am - intimacy - by dickofbrokendreams - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was turned down from the dream job that I was promised two years ago, once my chemo and radiation therapy was finished. His excuse? He never actually expected me to survive. FML

#21366066
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30908) - you deserved it (1397)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:36pm - work - by kysier (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I moved to a big city, alone, from a small town. After convincing myself it wasn't that scary, I hailed my first cab. The driver spent the 30 minute ride from the airport telling me about how "sometimes, you just gotta shoot a guy" because if they steal your shoes, they deserve it. FML

#21366058
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20766) - you deserved it (1891)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:22pm - misc - by smalltownkid - United States (Texas)



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Friday 27 February 2015

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