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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was scheduled to fill in at the customer service counter where I work. Today was also the day that I allegedly accused a customer of being a thief, sold her a fraudulent money order, and will be sued for defamation of character. FML

#21462126
4 comments

I agree, your life sucks (206) - you deserved it (16)

On 08/29/2015 at 1:13pm - work - by thegrandchawhee - United States (Washington)

Today, I blacked out while hugging my dad. I woke up a minute later on the floor with my dad telling me to, "quit being lazy and get up." FML

#21462123
5 comments

I agree, your life sucks (220) - you deserved it (20)

On 08/29/2015 at 1:08pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my mum took away my laptop and my phone and won't let me call, text, or go out with friends for one month. Why? I left the toilet seat up. I'm writing this from a public library. FML

#21462073
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11830) - you deserved it (1474)

On 08/29/2015 at 10:06am - misc - by Lord Buttfuck IV (man) - France

Today, I finished a big painting for art class. It's also the day my little brother decided it didn't have enough puke on it. FML

#21462064
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10137) - you deserved it (720)

On 08/29/2015 at 9:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML

#21462044
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12167) - you deserved it (759)

On 08/29/2015 at 7:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

KeannaLove's comment : I will never understand how people can take suicide so lightly. She sounds like an awful person all around. You're better off OP.

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Today, my doctor died. Last week, after a check up I'd had because I was worried about a cough, he told me not to worry because I was as healthy as he was. FML

#21462016
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15895) - you deserved it (1071)

On 08/29/2015 at 4:50am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

dezman2000's comment : You should follow this FML up in a couple of weeks, just so we know that you didn't follow in your doctor's footsteps.

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Today, I had to explain to my dad how I rear-ended the car in front of me because of a particularly intense banjo solo. FML

#21461958
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8215) - you deserved it (11660)

On 08/29/2015 at 1:09am - misc - by mumfordandsonimdisappointed - United States

Crucio's comment : Is that a euphemism for 'excessive masturbation'?

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Today, I got a phone call letting me know my grandmother was arrested for trying to light my grandpa on fire. She's now in jail, asking for bail money. FML

#21461945
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16207) - you deserved it (913)

On 08/29/2015 at 12:29am - misc - by tkoester - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience. I started to get aggressive and pushed him up against the wall. I forgot our bed was on wheels and the bed started sliding away and his body slid down the wall. So much for being sexy. FML

#21461787
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14176) - you deserved it (2531)

On 08/28/2015 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by still laughing (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I found out that I won't be able to attend my own wedding, because I'll be in a mandatory training class that doesn't allow people to take vacation for any reason. So now we've wasted $10,000, and I can't even fly home for one day. All because I got promoted unexpectedly. FML

#21461761
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17815) - you deserved it (1363)

On 08/28/2015 at 4:05pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Friuli-Venezia Giulia)

Today, I decided to give my dog a bath. Instead, my dog gave me a bath. FML

#21461710
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12913) - you deserved it (2237)

On 08/28/2015 at 1:18pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend uninvited to me a party because she said her ex would be there, and since she hasn't told him about us, she didn't want him getting upset. FML

#21461601
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19732) - you deserved it (1848)

On 08/28/2015 at 3:21am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after missing college for a week due to illness, I found out my "friends" were bullshitting me about us having to write an important no-extension Biology essay. Copious amounts of my sweat, snot and tears went into that desperation-fueled nightmare. Thanks, dickheads. FML

#21461594
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18134) - you deserved it (1707)

On 08/28/2015 at 2:39am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)



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