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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while shopping with my sister, she asked me to wait for her while she quickly said hello to a friend. I sat on a bench for an hour before I realised she wasn't coming back. Turns out "hello" had turned into a date. FML

#21449387
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9866) - you deserved it (734)

On 07/30/2015 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was doing laundry while my boyfriend was sitting at the table playing on his phone. I glanced over and caught him watching my ass as I put clothes in the dryer. Trying to be sexy, I looked at him as I slowly bent over to put more clothes in. Instead, I hit my head hard on the dryer door. FML

#21449270
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10529) - you deserved it (2830)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:34pm - intimacy - by RuasaLove - United States (New Jersey)

jayennachristine's comment : Quit banging the dryer and bang him

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Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for smiling and laughing too much. Last week, he reprimanded me for not smiling and laughing enough. FML

#21449263
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10997) - you deserved it (698)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:25pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up on the couch and realized I had fallen asleep while doing laundry. Ran to the laundry room, and found all my clothes gone. I really wish I hadn't been doing a load of all my pants. FML

#21449249
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10053) - you deserved it (1292)

On 07/29/2015 at 9:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, at a baseball game, I smiled and waved at the little girl in front of me. She cried. FML

Today, I had horrible diarrhea at work. When I felt the bubbling, I ran to the bathroom. An agonizing bowel movement later, I realized that there was no toilet paper in the stall. Just as I was about to ask a coworker who was in the bathroom for some, the fire alarm went off. FML

#21449227
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12950) - you deserved it (724)

On 07/29/2015 at 8:57pm - health - by Crap (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got fired from my new job on my first day. Why? Because I'm 19 and company policy says you have to be 21. But they can't ask how old you are. FML

#21449086
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11606) - you deserved it (1093)

On 07/29/2015 at 2:40pm - work - by jobless and broke - United States (Arizona)

Today, I came home to find my mom drunk. She asked me for a hug and then started crying, "Where's my daughter?" I'm her daughter. And her only child, as far as I know. FML

#21449052
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11352) - you deserved it (711)

On 07/29/2015 at 1:07pm - misc - by roselysunset (woman) - United States (California)

Today, during my father's funeral, I heard my mother-in-law mutter, "No loss there. Lazy cunt." FML

#21449050
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17932) - you deserved it (1005)

On 07/29/2015 at 1:00pm - misc - by HF44 (man) - United States (California)

Miss_Chevious's comment : Talk about monster in law...

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Today, my business got broken into and I lost a lot of valuable equipment. Although I have 24/7 security guards, they left in the middle of the burglary because they were too scared to stop the burglars or even to call the police. FML

#21449035
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18167) - you deserved it (1481)

On 07/29/2015 at 11:30am - money - by fukingtigans (man) - Croatia (Zadarska)

axfabxdisaster's comment : Do you have security cameras or did they take that too?

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Today, I was relaxing in bed with an arm kind of behind my head, when I noticed a huge spider resting on my armpit. My sister said my screaming sounded like a "witch being burned to death" for all of 5 seconds before I realized the "spider" was just my armpit hair. FML

#21449022
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14454) - you deserved it (7015)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:41am - misc - by fack (man) - United States (California)

Today, my sister and I were planning a trip to get away from things and visit some faraway friends. My dad then decided to insert himself into our plans. He got mad when we said no, and couldn't understand why we wanted to go by ourselves. FML

#21448997
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14852) - you deserved it (1469)

On 07/29/2015 at 8:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, thinking no one was home, I decided to be a little frisky with my boyfriend. I guess I was being loud and woke up my sleeping autistic brother the room over. Halfway through, he burst through the door, panicking. He thought I was having another one of my asthma attacks. FML

#21448923
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18419) - you deserved it (5971)

On 07/29/2015 at 2:15am - intimacy - by oops - United States



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