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Man or woman?

Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML

#21346789
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36) - you deserved it (7)

On 01/30/2015 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and I noticed my boyfriend had commented on a post. It said, "Tag the hottest girl you know". Yeah, he tagged his ex. FML

#21346763
1 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29) - you deserved it (3)

On 01/30/2015 at 11:27am - misc - by Idek - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. In the middle of it he said, "I want us to be covalent bonds". I didn't understand what he meant, and he actually stopped to explain it to me. FML

#21346746
1 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20) - you deserved it (7)

On 01/30/2015 at 10:11am - intimacy - by Chemist-why (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm on a train, feeling good because I got upgraded to first class. The man opposite me just slid me a note saying, "Wee plooky cunt, fuck off!" Charming. FML

#21346702
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6577) - you deserved it (474)

On 01/30/2015 at 7:49am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I bought a small tub of coconut pieces in a bid to eat healthier snacks at work. I noticed that the chunks were a bit slimy, but thought nothing of it and kept eating. It wasn't until I reached the final few pieces that I noticed a huge black slug crawling across the bottom of the tub. FML

#21346678
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7763) - you deserved it (1252)

On 01/30/2015 at 6:00am - misc - by goodbyediet (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I received a panicked email from one of my university students on my course on Russian history, stating that he'd "always thought Stalin was fake, like the moon landing". FML

#21346676
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7785) - you deserved it (536)

On 01/30/2015 at 5:51am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML

#21346656
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7246) - you deserved it (582)

On 01/30/2015 at 4:00am - love - by wtf - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was excited that my sister called me for the first time in months. She asked me to stop watching "Friends" so she could use the Netflix account. Now, I still have an absentee sister and no Friends. FML

#21346655
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8750) - you deserved it (911)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I came back to my dormitory after a long shift at work. After using the toilet, I looked at myself in the mirror, only to find a huge piece of food stuck between my front teeth. I work at one of the fanciest restaurants in town; nobody bothered to tell me anything. FML

#21346560
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8458) - you deserved it (840)

On 01/29/2015 at 11:53pm - work - by Eyalsh (man) - Germany (Mecklenburg-Vorpommern)

Today, I went to get a haircut. Who shows up not 5 minutes later to also get a haircut? My obnoxious, bully of a boss. She started chatting with me across the salon the entire time. There was no way to get out of the conversation. FML

#21346487
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9828) - you deserved it (721)

On 01/29/2015 at 9:50pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I looked out my window to see my neighbor politely shovelling people's driveways. He skipped ours. Why? He likes our daughter but she doesn't like him back. FML

#21346462
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10332) - you deserved it (1594)

On 01/29/2015 at 9:06pm - love - by EnderHorse - United States (Ohio)

Today, for the nth time, my father reminded me that I should study things related to the "real" world, as if I was studying theology, astrology or something. I'm studying for a master's degree in physics. FML

#21346352
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10810) - you deserved it (936)

On 01/29/2015 at 6:32pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11713) - you deserved it (5672)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Bookworm257's comment : Since it was a one night stand, maybe you can calmly slip out, unlike your fart.

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