Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, when I went to the shopping centre, the automatic door wouldn't open for me. I had to stand there and wait until someone else walked by to open it for me. I suffer from dwarfism and this is a daily occurrence. FML

#21118654
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1019) - you deserved it (66)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:11am - misc - by shorty (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

#21118643
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (790) - you deserved it (109)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went to get an ultrasound done. I texted my ex, who's the father, and told him how adorable its little feet are, and asked him why he didn't come. I got a reply with two words: "DNA test". FML

#21118642
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6088) - you deserved it (1563)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:03am - kids - by kelly.duggan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband called me at work to tell me how upset he is with me and how I've ruined his day. All because I ate a few chocolates from the bag that was in the fridge. FML

#21118591
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5563) - you deserved it (898)

On 04/20/2014 at 11:23pm - misc - by allaturca (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my mom cheating on my step-dad with my real dad. FML

#21118433
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10904) - you deserved it (712)

On 04/20/2014 at 9:02pm - misc - by HeyTherexxx (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at a big Easter egg hunt, the kids found a wild bunny. Everyone smiled and "aww"ed, until my dog caught and ate it in front everyone. FML

#21118358
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9373) - you deserved it (1089)

On 04/20/2014 at 7:24pm - animals - by BetterThanChocolate (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I decided to be nice and pay a visit to my grandma. We ended up playing Scrabble. In between passing wind that smelled like rotting eggs, she kept playing the filthiest words she could, and yelled at me whenever I checked to see if they were in the Scrabble dictionary. FML

#21118282
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18091) - you deserved it (2170)

On 04/20/2014 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - Slovenia (Domzale Commune)

Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend of 3 years believes sex before marriage or even me just jacking off is a big no, doing online strip-shows for money is a big yes for her. Both times that I've proposed, she claimed she isn't "ready" for marriage. FML

#21118108
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20426) - you deserved it (3514)

On 04/20/2014 at 1:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Wigan)

coolcocoxxx's comment : Get out of that. Now.

See all the comments →

Today, my dad made me stick my gut out and walk around awkwardly, just so I'd look pregnant and let him get away with parking in an "expectant mothers" parking spot. FML

#21118067
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18890) - you deserved it (1957)

On 04/20/2014 at 1:21pm - misc - by Not-pregnant (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband bitched me out for going to the toilet after we had sex. He thinks it's my way of not getting pregnant and from now on, I can't go to the toilet for at least 2 hours after sex. FML

#21117730
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28283) - you deserved it (3041)

On 04/20/2014 at 1:24am - intimacy - by allaturca (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

abpersonality's comment : He's dictating when you can go to the bathroom? That's pretty controlling and obsessive.

See all the comments →

Today, I went hiking with my family. A local had told us about the trail, saying the two mile walk would lead us to a seventy-foot waterfall. After seven miles of trekking in the sweltering sun with no food, we finally found the waterfall. It was barely ten feet tall. FML

#21117710
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25683) - you deserved it (4225)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:52am - misc - by why?? (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29193) - you deserved it (2642)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I work at a food joint as a chef, and a customer found a long strand of hair in her food. The manager blamed me, even though I'm bald. FML

#21117573
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28369) - you deserved it (1960)

On 04/19/2014 at 10:39pm - work - by notmine (man) - India (Delhi)

totallybananas's comment : There's more than just hair on your head...if you know what I mean...

See all the comments →



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: