Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the local park for some romantic time together. By the time we left, I'd been called a pedo and a cradle robber, and been given several dirty looks. I'm 31. My boyfriend is 30 and just very baby-faced. FML

#21345623
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1973) - you deserved it (161)

On 01/28/2015 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was ringing up a woman at work. I saw she'd bought a birthday cake, so I smiled and said I hope whoever it was for has a happy birthday. She looked at me in disgust, told me to mind my own business, then called me a "chucklefuck bitch". Okay then. FML

#21345551
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1934) - you deserved it (162)

On 01/28/2015 at 10:01am - work - by retailshell (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went on my first date in over 4 years with a smoking hot guy. The big event was a trip to Target. I work at Target. He took me to my workplace for our date. And they say romance is dead. FML

#21345533
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7262) - you deserved it (676)

On 01/28/2015 at 8:51am - love - by anonpbc (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I had a job interview at a café. The interviewer asked me my availability and I told her that I was fully flexible. She laughed and said, "Really? That's tragic." FML

#21345516
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8591) - you deserved it (774)

On 01/28/2015 at 8:09am - work - by tipmeover (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, it was my brother's birthday. I was short on money but got him a present anyway. After opening it, he looked at it and said, "I didn't really want this." FML

#21345473
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11142) - you deserved it (860)

On 01/28/2015 at 3:07am - money - by nsb124 - United States

The_Big_Boss's comment : "I didn't really want to give you it"

See all the comments →

Today, I was talking to a girl. It was going pretty well until she said, "LOL." What's so bad about that? We weren't texting. FML

#21345280
75 comments

Today, I spent over an hour shovelling the walkway and driveway, snow blowing in my face and down my coat. When I was finally finished, a guy started going through the neighborhood plowing everyone's driveways for them. FML

#21345278
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10839) - you deserved it (1082)

On 01/27/2015 at 8:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, is the blizzard. I have to go into work, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't show up. I sent him a picture of the snow completely covering my car. He said I moved the snow there and could move it back. FML

#21345232
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12004) - you deserved it (865)

On 01/27/2015 at 6:50pm - work - by bitchypast - United States (Maine)

Today, after I got home from a long day at work. I go inside my room and find a life-size cut out of Miley Cyrus. I don't know how it got here. I'm the only person with a key to my apartment. FML

#21345231
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13143) - you deserved it (936)

On 01/27/2015 at 6:46pm - misc - by I'm screwed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Exodiafinder687's comment : Is there a huge gaping hole in your wall? If not then we can assume that she didn't come in like a wrecking ball.

See all the comments →

Today, I was getting a haircut. During the haircut, the barber cut her hand. She hesitated for a minute then continued to run her hands through and cut my hair with her bloody fingers. FML

#21345207
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12679) - you deserved it (832)

On 01/27/2015 at 6:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boss expected me to corroborate her lie to a customer. She changed her story suddenly and I got caught up in the crosshairs. Then she got mad at me for not understanding what just happened. FML

#21345151
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10781) - you deserved it (905)

On 01/27/2015 at 4:17pm - work - by morning_glory - United States (California)

Today, it's been five days since my roommate last talked to me. Although she's not communicating with me verbally, she's excelling at non-verbal communication: slamming doors and drawers, and watching loud videos, all while I desperately try to study. FML

#21345047
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15452) - you deserved it (1602)

On 01/27/2015 at 11:12am - misc - by NoTalkAllGame - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I shaved my beard in preparation for an important work conference. Now my dog won't stop growling and barking at me. FML

#21345020
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15537) - you deserved it (1890)

On 01/27/2015 at 10:09am - animals - by dogproblems (man) - United States (North Carolina)

fortune789's comment : Shave your dog. That'll teach him.

See all the comments →



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #11
  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: