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Today, my husband asked me to buy a different brand of dish soap, as the one he was using wasn't working. After a quick look, I had to agree. The lemon cordial he had been using, while tasting nice, didn't really help clean the dishes. FML

Today, my docile gerbil was startled by a car alarm. He dove into my tank top and bit straight through my nipple. FML

#21434340
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4412) - you deserved it (426)

On 06/30/2015 at 12:02pm - animals - by piercednipple (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, at my job at a ceramics store, I was loading a $300 statuette into a woman's car when I saw a dismembered foot in the trunk. I was so startled that I dropped the statuette and it shattered. Turns out the foot was fake and now my boss says I have to pay for the damage. FML

#21434324
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4255) - you deserved it (957)

On 06/30/2015 at 11:33am - work - by AIienware -

Today, I was at my best friend's wedding. As she threw the bouquet, I was punched in the face by another bridesmaid. Later, as I was explaining what had happened, I punched myself in the face. FML

#21434280
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9129) - you deserved it (2655)

On 06/30/2015 at 8:56am - love - by Anonymous - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, my intern was given his own office. I have been asking to move out of my cubicle for nearly four years. FML

#21434251
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11905) - you deserved it (924)

On 06/30/2015 at 5:57am - work - by bosslady (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, the man that I have a crush on finally touched me. This would have been great, if not for the fact that it was to roll me on my side while I was having a seizure. FML

#21434226
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11637) - you deserved it (714)

On 06/30/2015 at 3:51am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boss is on the phone with a Russian customer, who keeps saying, "Speak Russian please!" My boss asks me to translate, as he hired me for my knowledge of Russian. He says something, I translate in Russian, then the customer says, "Speak English please!" FML

#21434188
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12195) - you deserved it (930)

On 06/30/2015 at 2:18am - work - by Claudine (woman) - Belgium (Liege)

Airshock22's comment : I've heard of a language barrier before, but not a language revolving door.

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Today, my 3-year-old pooped his pants in a public bathroom. As I was squatting down, doing my best to clean poop off of his legs and the floor, a wasp flew up my pant leg. I was stung four times before I danced it out of my pants. FML

#21433955
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12483) - you deserved it (779)

On 06/29/2015 at 5:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was working at a fast food restaurant when I cut my hand. There was a good amount of blood flowing out so I ran to my manager and asked where the first aid kit was. He then picked up a washcloth and some tape and handed it to me. FML

#21433911
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12055) - you deserved it (818)

On 06/29/2015 at 4:34pm - work - by Greattitan2 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was legitimately sick so I called in to work. Apparently, 4 other guys on my line called in too. My boss thought we planned it. Now we're all written up. FML

#21433907
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12413) - you deserved it (693)

On 06/29/2015 at 4:29pm - work - by Justincredible69 (man) - United States

Today, a woman came through drive-thru and placed a long order while screaming at her kids in back. When we forgot a doughnut, she became enraged, threw her iced coffees at me, told me I was a no-life and that I always get her order wrong. It's my first day and I was only giving her the order. FML

#21433884
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12824) - you deserved it (691)

On 06/29/2015 at 3:40pm - work - by CoffeeGirl (woman) - United States

Today, my fiance heard I was having a rotten day at work. He stopped by the flower shop and bought me a lovely rose which I put right next to my work station. That is until a giant wasp flew out and stung me. I still have a swollen arm hours later. FML

#21433819
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17698) - you deserved it (1306)

On 06/29/2015 at 1:30pm - love - by rinakitty94 - United States (Louisiana)

TypicalSenpai's comment : At least you have a caring husband. It's the thought that counts! ^^

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Today, my computer takes so long to start up, it goes into sleep mode before I can type in my password. FML

#21433801
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17046) - you deserved it (1974)

On 06/29/2015 at 12:39pm - misc - by slowcomputer - Canada (Ontario)

Cavenyanson's comment : What, have you never woken up and fell back asleep before you could get out of bed?

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