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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, one of my closest friends informed me that she wasn't going to invite me to her wedding, because I'm too shy and not enough fun, and she doesn't want her 200 or so guests to feel uncomfortable. I was the one who set the happy couple up. FML

#20681501
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22099) - you deserved it (1433)

On 05/23/2013 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, in preparation for a third interview for my dream job, I spent an hour selecting the perfect outfit. I hung everything on my bedroom door and went to shower. My dog decided to play tug-of-war with the clothing and redesign the shoes. The only thing to survive unscathed was the hanger. FML

#20681337
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14322) - you deserved it (2441)

On 05/23/2013 at 6:52am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got a call from work stating that my employment was being terminated. This was after being suspended while they investigated my sexual harassment claim. Their reason for firing me: misuse of company time. Yes, I suppose reporting being sexually harassed is a huge waste of time. FML

#20681249
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19842) - you deserved it (1877)

On 05/23/2013 at 3:24am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was ditched by the guy I flew over two thousand miles to see. His excuse? "I'm just tired. I want to go home and sleep" Later, he checked in at a bar right down the street from the hotel on Facebook. FML

#20681237
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16916) - you deserved it (2091)

On 05/23/2013 at 3:13am - love - by phoenixditch - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finally scored a goal in a soccer game. Too bad it was in our own net. FML

#20681164
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13572) - you deserved it (16752)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML

#20681121
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22611) - you deserved it (1327)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by Mylifesucks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26722) - you deserved it (1944)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Sir_ND_Pity's comment : I say let him try it. He'll see how far his swag will take him. Life lessons.

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Today, a friend was put on suicide watch when her parents wouldn't pay $500 for a premium senior picture package. FML

Sir_ND_Pity's comment : I guess you could say that that had a killer price tag. No? i didn't think so... I'll show myself to the dog house.

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Today, I confronted my boss to find out why I was denied a promotion that she promised to me. Her response? "You should know by now I'm a liar. Not my fault if you believe the things I say." FML

#20680205
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18121) - you deserved it (1529)

On 05/22/2013 at 5:48pm - work - by Snurkles McGee (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure ahead of my cousin's wedding. The woman doing my nails asked it I wanted my toe hairs trimmed. I was so taken aback and embarrassed that I said yes. They charged me extra. FML

#20679773
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24443) - you deserved it (8373)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by hobbit - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom took me to a bar to cheer me up after being dumped. Two cute guys around my age kept looking over at us the whole night. When I told my mom, she said she was going to get them to come talk to me. Instead, she ended up leaving with both of them. FML

#20679725
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35271) - you deserved it (2878)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Wizardo's comment : Woah, mom got game. Go mom!

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Today, I was out on a family walk, when I overheard two women talking to each other. One of them was wondering how a kid with such good looking parents and grandparents could be so ugly. That kid is my daughter. FML

Today, I awoke from a dream that I'd found an Arco gas station that had regular gas for $3.38. I actually went looking for it. FML

#20679582
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25470) - you deserved it (6638)

On 05/22/2013 at 10:51am - money - by maarkblack (man) - United States



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

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Monday 20 May 2013

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