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Today, after my boss has gotten in the habit of calling me "bubble wrap girl" at work because I'm clumsy and he claims I need to be covered in bubble wrap for my own protection, I have just probably broken two toes by dropping a hairdryer on my foot. I will never hear the end of this. FML

#21437676
1 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36) - you deserved it (13)

On 07/06/2015 at 11:21pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, while reading my girlfriends kid's a story, her daughter started pouring a tiny watering can on my head. When I asked her what she was doing, she said, "Watering your head so your hair grows back". I'm twenty-seven. FML

#21437640
1 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52) - you deserved it (7)

On 07/06/2015 at 10:21pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was finally going to break down my social barrier by going out on a date with a nice guy I recently met on a dating site. Just at the start of the date, he asked me how old I was, and out of pure nervousness, I blurted out, "12!" I'm 24. FML

#21437546
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2480) - you deserved it (522)

On 07/06/2015 at 7:02pm - love - by 12yearsoldapparently (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my friend let me borrow a pair of jeans. I found out I'm allergic to her laundry detergent when I broke out in a rash everywhere that the jeans touched. FML

#21437540
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2786) - you deserved it (259)

On 07/06/2015 at 6:51pm - health - by sydmarie98 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my "mosquito bite" was in fact a jellyfish sting I got in Mexico, which has caused me to break out into horrendous hives in the airport waiting for the flight home. It's okay though, the plane is only delayed for 7 hours. FML

#21437526
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3504) - you deserved it (238)

On 07/06/2015 at 6:26pm - health - by feelthesting - Mexico (Aguascalientes)

Today, I was working customer service at a large grocery store. I recently got a small, tasteful septum piercing that is barely visible. As I greeted a customer, she began to gag, held out her hand as though she was fending me off, and said, "I can't. Your nose ring makes me sick." FML

#21437504
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4706) - you deserved it (2020)

On 07/06/2015 at 5:37pm - work - by a_dani365 - United States (Nebraska)

fmlallthetyme's comment : Is there such a thing as a tasteful septum piercing?

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Today, I learned how my coworkers differentiate between my coworker and me as we have the same name, when I overheard one of them ask the other, "Which one, ugly Leslie or hot Leslie?" When the answer was "ugly Leslie," he walked straight to me. FML

#21437500
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5302) - you deserved it (356)

On 07/06/2015 at 5:32pm - work - by makeover-needed - United States

Today, during family therapy the therapist asked if I believe I'm a good parent/husband. When I said yes my two sons, my daughter and even my wife very passionately disagreed. FML

#21437483
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13246) - you deserved it (6070)

On 07/06/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by --- - Canada (Ontario)

MrConcise's comment : Hey, that's why you're there. Just remember that.

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Today, while lifeguarding over children at work, I started thinking about my girlfriend and got a hard on. Before I realized it, I saved a kid and then hopped out of the pool next to a 5 year old in front of my managers and a little over 50 patrons with a raging boner. My HR meeting is tomorrow. FML

#21437372
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14352) - you deserved it (3615)

On 07/06/2015 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by notacreep - United States (California)

ryannmichael's comment : That's a hard situation to be in... sorry OP

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Today, I was having a dream about Chris Pratt. Instead of having a sexy dream that I would have enjoyed, I dreamt he was a supervisor at my work. He kept telling me how much I sucked. FML

#21437326
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17091) - you deserved it (1868)

On 07/06/2015 at 11:14am - intimacy - by BrittUnicorn - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while at work, a customer, who was also on his phone, rudely asked what kinds of bread we had for his sandwich. After I told him we had many different kinds to offer, he cut me off, told me to stop playing stupid, and stormed out after holding up a long line of people. FML

#21437185
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15727) - you deserved it (1279)

On 07/06/2015 at 2:03am - work - by breadcrumb - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out the only reason why a friend of mine even bothered talking to me. He thought that I'd sleep with him if he was nice enough. FML

#21437177
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16178) - you deserved it (1479)

On 07/06/2015 at 1:30am - intimacy - by I'm_Not_Interested - United States (Nevada)

Today, I once again asked my girlfriend about getting married, as she had previously said she would only get married once gay marriage was legal. She still said no. FML



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