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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was at the store with my father. As we were leaving, he grabbed a baguette, put it by his crotch, and took a picture with his phone. I'm starting to feel like the parent here. FML

#21449663
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3136) - you deserved it (231)

On 07/30/2015 at 7:24pm - misc - by EmbarrassedChild - United States

Today, I found out why I was always picked up last from school. My parents didn't want the other parents to find out I was their kid. FML

#21449647
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4770) - you deserved it (352)

On 07/30/2015 at 6:35pm - kids - by Lonely School Kid - Canada

Today, I had to sit through an entire conversation where my sister and her boyfriend sent voice messages to one another, of their farts. FML

#21449629
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4908) - you deserved it (418)

On 07/30/2015 at 6:04pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I learned companies can legally lie to fire an employee, and unless anything they say is on record, they are legally correct, no matter how unethical the company is. FML

#21449623
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4844) - you deserved it (361)

On 07/30/2015 at 5:50pm - work - by JippedWorker (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I just found my husband on Craigslist. He's working away from home, and he's looking to give a blowjob. FML

#21449578
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7512) - you deserved it (582)

On 07/30/2015 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

ford_chick_22's comment : My question is why were you looking in that part of craigslist?

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Today, I was detained for trying to "illegally enter" my house, all because my parents forgot to tell me they were being evicted. FML

#21449546
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14970) - you deserved it (835)

On 07/30/2015 at 1:38pm - misc - by College_Grad (woman) -

Today, my young stepdaughter decided that she should store her coins in my laptop's card reader slot and in the CD drive. I just bought the laptop last week. FML

#21449535
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13483) - you deserved it (1197)

On 07/30/2015 at 1:22pm - kids - by GidleyWife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to listen to my grandma talk about how she's "allergic" to toilet paper, and how she lets nature "take care of it". FML

#21449508
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13759) - you deserved it (868)

On 07/30/2015 at 11:30am - health - by WhatTheFuck - United States (Illinois)

Yazoo77's comment : Buy your grandma a different brand and tell her it's organic.

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Today, while shopping with my sister, she asked me to wait for her while she quickly said hello to a friend. I sat on a bench for an hour before I realised she wasn't coming back. Turns out "hello" had turned into a date. FML

#21449387
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18062) - you deserved it (1490)

On 07/30/2015 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was doing laundry while my boyfriend was sitting at the table playing on his phone. I glanced over and caught him watching my ass as I put clothes in the dryer. Trying to be sexy, I looked at him as I slowly bent over to put more clothes in. Instead, I hit my head hard on the dryer door. FML

#21449270
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17377) - you deserved it (4934)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:34pm - intimacy - by RuasaLove - United States (New Jersey)

jayennachristine's comment : Quit banging the dryer and bang him

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Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for smiling and laughing too much. Last week, he reprimanded me for not smiling and laughing enough. FML

#21449263
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17794) - you deserved it (1176)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:25pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up on the couch and realized I had fallen asleep while doing laundry. Ran to the laundry room, and found all my clothes gone. I really wish I hadn't been doing a load of all my pants. FML

#21449249
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15981) - you deserved it (2080)

On 07/29/2015 at 9:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, at a baseball game, I smiled and waved at the little girl in front of me. She cried. FML



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