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Today, I was a pregnant man for Halloween. Everyone at school thought it was funny, except my principal, who gave me a detention and said it was, "inappropriate and making a pregnant teacher feel uncomfortable". That pregnant teacher asked me to take a selfie with her. FML

#21289257
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1347) - you deserved it (84)

On 10/31/2014 at 7:28pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my best friend told me that she was a virgin again because she hadn't had sex in 6 months. She's 19 and actually believes it. FML

#21289249
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1188) - you deserved it (107)

On 10/31/2014 at 7:10pm - misc - by AnonymousAmber - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my friend took our prank war too far when he secretly added peanuts to my food. I have a peanut allergy. FML

#21289188
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10484) - you deserved it (879)

On 10/31/2014 at 5:12pm - health - by peanutprobs - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a pirate. Someone complimented me on how convincing the fake teeth were that I had on for my costume. I wasn't wearing fake teeth. FML

#21289034
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9689) - you deserved it (1792)

On 10/31/2014 at 11:56am - misc - by iliveformystery (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a customer bought several drill bits. When I asked him, "Do you want a bag for your bits?" he just stared at me uncomfortably, apparently thinking I was trying to come onto him. FML

#21289001
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8537) - you deserved it (810)

On 10/31/2014 at 10:27am - work - by hardwarekit (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was pulled over and fined $100 for driving without a license, as I'd accidentally left home without my wallet. I later found my wallet wedged beside my car seat, where it had been the entire time. FML

#21288966
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16066) - you deserved it (2886)

On 10/31/2014 at 9:35am - money - by emptypockets - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, we told my fiancé's parents that I'm pregnant. His mom's response? "I'm going to throw up. You can't raise a child." We are both 28, self-sufficient and everyone else is thrilled. FML

#21288954
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16106) - you deserved it (1303)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:58am - kids - by kimmykins27 (woman) - United States

Today, as I was walking home from work, I got chased halfway home by a wolf. Yes, a wolf. I live in central Norway. FML

#21288944
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16821) - you deserved it (1261)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:31am - animals - by noxiffic (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I woke up really early to get ready for an interview. I guess it was too early because my mom thought someone broke into our house and now I have two bruised ribs. FML

#21288937
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14731) - you deserved it (1145)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:05am - misc - by nopethanks - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

#21288917
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15705) - you deserved it (1291)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, my friend thought she would "save me some time" by spoiling Game of Thrones. FML

#21288916
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16132) - you deserved it (2128)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, the fire alarm keeps going off at my apartment. Not only is the noise ear-piercingly loud enough to wake the entire neighbourhood, there's also a big flashing red light in case the deafening sound isn't enough. This is my day off. It's going on all day. FML

#21288915
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14882) - you deserved it (1231)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:42am - misc - by Shutup! - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I came to the conclusion I have three kids instead of two, after having to force my husband to take a shower. It's been a week. FML

#21288837
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16600) - you deserved it (1646)

On 10/31/2014 at 1:10am - health - by NoScrubs - United States (California)



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