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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, it's been five days since my roommate last talked to me. Although she's not communicating with me verbally, she's excelling at non-verbal communication: slamming doors and drawers, and watching loud videos, all while I desperately try to study. FML

#21345047
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2961) - you deserved it (243)

On 01/27/2015 at 11:12am - misc - by NoTalkAllGame - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I shaved my beard in preparation for an important work conference. Now my dog won't stop growling and barking at me. FML

#21345020
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2989) - you deserved it (296)

On 01/27/2015 at 10:09am - animals - by dogproblems (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out my girlfriend is bulimic. Like that wasn't bad enough, I found out because she spent all of our rent money on food. FML

Today, as I walked on to the bus, the girl I liked whispered something to her friend. Curious, I asked what was so funny. She said she never realized that when I got on, I shook the bus. FML

#21345001
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8501) - you deserved it (1068)

On 01/27/2015 at 9:02am - love - by Nat3_2020 - United States

Today, returning home from a party, I realised I'd forgotten my keys. My roommate was sleeping so soundly that after an hour of throwing gravel and ringing the doorbell, I had to give up and get a room at the hotel over the road. For €85 I had a view of my room. FML

#21345042
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8321) - you deserved it (2053) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/27/2015 at 6:45am - money - by LadyGrey -

Today, my dad and I were having a conversation about boneless chicken. He told me that they are raised boneless, going into detail, and I bought every word of it. Not until he started laughing did I realize how gullible I really am. I'm 22. FML

#21344889
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6135) - you deserved it (10909)

On 01/27/2015 at 12:43am - misc - by katrina2d (woman) - United States (Washington)

zAstonish's comment : I don't know about the chickens, but you may have been raised brainless.

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Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. It wasn't until the huge fight which ended with us breaking up did I realize that I was snowed in with him. One day down, two to go. FML

#21344752
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10548) - you deserved it (1601)

On 01/26/2015 at 8:47pm - love - by sleeping on the floor - United States (Connecticut)

Today, as a volunteer tutor, I met up with a girl who needed help with calculus. When I introduced myself, she wrinkled up her face and said, "I'd hoped you'd be hotter." FML

#21344749
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12199) - you deserved it (840)

On 01/26/2015 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Exodiafinder687's comment : That's not a good sine. You might want to go off on a tangent and discuss manners with her.

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Today, I'm at the unique point in my schooling that I'm either extremely overqualified or extremely underqualified for every job opportunity that appeals to me. FML

#21344707
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11908) - you deserved it (991)

On 01/26/2015 at 7:19pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized why you should never wear a thong under yoga pants that are a couple of sizes too small. It's a weird thing, seeing your co-workers anus. FML

#21344664
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11994) - you deserved it (1280)

On 01/26/2015 at 6:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I mentioned to my girlfriend that I'd sent in a job application after she went home. In front of her parents. Who thought she'd stayed the night at a friend's place. FML

Today, all day, in a huge blizzard, I've been stuck with a very nice, but very ugly, toothless and rather large and somewhat smelly woman, who has been continuously saying, "It feels like we're dating. Doesn't it feel like we're dating?" Ugh. No, no it doesn't. And please don't kill me. FML

#21344628
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12207) - you deserved it (1209)

On 01/26/2015 at 5:19pm - misc - by Yellow an (man) - United States

Today, after putting a bag of dirty laundry in the laundry room to wait for an open washer, I came back to find a "free stuff" sign on all of my expensive jeans, new towels, and favorite sweatshirts. The bag was over half empty. FML

#21344550
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17042) - you deserved it (7956)

On 01/26/2015 at 2:17pm - misc - by boogery - United States

UmmOkThen's comment : Don't leave your stuff in the laundry room, that's like rule number one. It's a hard lesson, but I bet you won't make that mistake again.

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