Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, I found out that my dog likes to howl when he hears sirens. I live next to the fire station. FML

#21305878
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1029) - you deserved it (100)

On 11/25/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by drreeeewwww - United States (Kentucky)

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

#21305863
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4095) - you deserved it (291)

On 11/25/2014 at 3:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out the only reason I got my current job is because my mother had an affair with my new boss. FML

#21305861
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3838) - you deserved it (276)

On 11/25/2014 at 3:11pm - work - by pork ranger - United States

Today, my mom booked a family trip to Sweden. This would be great, if she hadn't asked me to tell our former German exchange student that we were coming to visit her in Germany. She was thrilled. Now I have to be the one to let her down. FML

#21305750
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3585) - you deserved it (271)

On 11/25/2014 at 11:14am - misc - by Blöde Gans - United States (Florida)

Today, a group of protesters set up just outside my residence hall at one in the morning. After an hour of chanting, the police finally told them to stop, and I was finally able to get some sleep. The protesters responded by pulling the fire alarm in every residence hall on campus. FML

#21305749
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13777) - you deserved it (1117)

On 11/25/2014 at 11:13am - misc - by IHateProtesters (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I discovered that catching fewer mice in the traps I'd put out doesn't mean my pest problem is getting resolved. It means that rats have moved in. FML

#21305734
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11831) - you deserved it (928)

On 11/25/2014 at 10:28am - animals - by ratqueen - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spent a hour in my car terrified to go inside because I thought my house was being burgled. I saw rapid shadows in the light of my lounge. Eventually I plucked up the courage to creep inside with a rock to find it wasn't a robber. It was my cats, fighting in front of a toppled lamp. FML

#21305532
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14543) - you deserved it (3220)

On 11/24/2014 at 11:21pm - animals - by amazinghermit (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I was in a good mood for once and my professor looks at me and says, "I don't know what you ate for breakfast but you're really annoying today." FML

#21305482
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15532) - you deserved it (1741)

On 11/24/2014 at 10:25pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finally noticed how lonely I am when I realized I was petting my couch while reading a book. FML

#21305429
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14264) - you deserved it (1755)

On 11/24/2014 at 9:17pm - misc - by Hammy - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized that customers at my work ask me "Are you new or just stupid?" just as often as they did when I first started. FML

#21305199
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20052) - you deserved it (5108)

On 11/24/2014 at 2:21pm - work - by stupid - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I decided to check out a dating site, when I stumbled across my ex wife's profile. She'd had it for four out of the five years of our marriage. And no, it didn't rate us as a good match. FML

#21305183
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21888) - you deserved it (2112)

On 11/24/2014 at 1:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I met my best friend's girlfriend for the first time. After a few hours of talking and eating, she followed me to the bathroom and said, dead serious, ''If you ever touch him or get too close to him, I will cut you''. I've known him for twelve years, they have been dating for a month. FML

#21305050
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27886) - you deserved it (1968)

On 11/24/2014 at 8:44am - love - by ohwell (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

hard_candy's comment : someone sounds very insecure.

See all the comments →

Today, I was really excited to get a new bank account in my name. My parents wanted me to have it so they could transfer money from mine to theirs and vice versa. What excited me less was my father drunkenly accessing it and taking all my cash. FML

#21305033
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23208) - you deserved it (2850)

On 11/24/2014 at 7:40am - money - by ugh - United States (New York)



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