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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was roasting marshmallows around a campfire when mine burst into flames. I instinctively shook the stick to get it to go out. The flaming marshmallow then catapulted straight into my eye, burning my whole eyelid. FML

#20672246
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3456) - you deserved it (1272)

On 05/19/2013 at 1:26am - misc - by Devin - United States

Today, I lent a pair of expensive headphones to a "friend" for the weekend. As a thank-you, he bought me a soda. He moved this weekend, taking the headphones with him. I lost a $250 pair of headphones for a $1 soda. FML

#20672107
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3205) - you deserved it (1255)

On 05/19/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, while at hospital with a broken arm, I was asked to raise my hand onto the x-ray machine. I told the nurse I couldn't move it without extreme pain. She told me to suck it up, picked up my arm, and dropped it on the machine. I could feel the bone completely separate. FML

#20671502
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6366) - you deserved it (335)

On 05/18/2013 at 7:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I told my dad that I broke up with my first serious girlfriend. He responded by blaring sad breakup songs as loud as he could throughout the house, just to see me "cry like a bitch". FML

#20671425
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4382) - you deserved it (611)

On 05/18/2013 at 6:33pm - love - by SteroidPenguin (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went for an interview regarding a seasonal position I'd been offered at a grocery store. The manager showed up 45 minutes past the scheduled interview time, cheerfully greeted me, and took me back to his office, just to tell me that they don't hire seasonal help. Ever. FML

#20671268
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19968) - you deserved it (1468)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by ineedayob (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

#20671220
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18880) - you deserved it (1740)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she apparently saw me making out with her sister. She doesn't even have a sister. FML

#20671163
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20462) - you deserved it (1557)

On 05/18/2013 at 3:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got my third promotion at work in as many years. My husband congratulated me very briefly, before asking if this meant he no longer had to look for a job. FML

#20671146
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19059) - you deserved it (2049)

On 05/18/2013 at 3:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Guanajuato)

Today, I spent hours debating with a lady who claimed she'd spent years "studying the big bang theory". Not only did she not know the scientific meaning of the word "theory", her killer argument was "If the big bang happened, where are the fossils?" I'm not sure whether or not I just got trolled. FML

#20671062
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17452) - you deserved it (2294)

On 05/18/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by look at the fucking universe, lady (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML

#20670515
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22758) - you deserved it (7860)

On 05/18/2013 at 8:54am - intimacy - by lez probs - United States

Today, I recieved a slip through my door saying that the package I'd ordered couldn't be delivered today because no-one was home to sign for it. I got the slip just in time to watch the guy who put it through my letterbox get in his van, look me in the eye and drive off. FML

#20670426
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29545) - you deserved it (2043)

On 05/18/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by JACKxRAWR (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my bag got stolen with all of my belongings at the beach. After being forced to ask strangers for money, I then travelled home on the train for an hour, wearing only a bikini. FML

#20670402
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29829) - you deserved it (2857)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:57am - misc - by Chelsea - Australia (Western Australia)

↑ Aratiti's comment : My mother told me that she once had to walk home topless from the beach when her friend accidentally took all of her clothes.

See all the comments →

Today, I took a nap, and I had a dream that my ex-girlfriend got back together with me. I woke up in a great mood. When I went back to bed, I dreamed that she broke up with me, again. FML

#20670246
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26494) - you deserved it (3214)

On 05/18/2013 at 1:22am - love - by Sarsippius -



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