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Today, I went to surprise my mom by visiting her in the hospital. I brought her roses too, because I know she likes flowers. When I got there and gave her them, she said, "Wow. Roses." followed by, "David actually brings flowers I like." David's my brother. Now I know who's the favorite child. FML

#21405168
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1422) - you deserved it (94)

On 05/05/2015 at 3:56pm - misc - by dkh34 - United States (Indiana)

Today, marks the fourth day in a row that I've worn the same outfit to prove to my parents that they pay me no attention. They still haven't noticed. FML

#21405167
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1434) - you deserved it (207)

On 05/05/2015 at 3:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out the "sex noises" I heard from next door last night, which I'd angrily yelled at my neighbor for, were actually from him having an uncontrollable seizure. FML

#21405133
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12887) - you deserved it (4430)

On 05/05/2015 at 2:20pm - misc - by 420curse (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realised I've been depressed about my recent break up for longer than the relationship even lasted. FML

#21405104
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13077) - you deserved it (2319)

On 05/05/2015 at 1:09pm - love - by lonely - United Kingdom (Leicester)

bethyc4's comment : My cheese burger lasted 5 min. My fat lasted 5 months. That's just how things work.

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Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML

#21405071
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13575) - you deserved it (1320)

On 05/05/2015 at 11:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

bethanyhopkins's comment : Because the surgery won't hurt afterwards...

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Today, I had to play the hot and cold game with my boyfriend until he found my clitoris. FML

#21405064
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19469) - you deserved it (2571)

On 05/05/2015 at 11:13am - intimacy - by baby_trex_arms - United States (California)

Oppression's comment : We all gotta start somewhere...

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Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said, "Sure, but not yet." As we've been together for five years, I was a bit confused, but she cleared that up with, "Not until your dad has died, I don't want him to ruin my wedding with a bad toast." FML

#21405053
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20046) - you deserved it (1617)

On 05/05/2015 at 10:44am - love - by inheritance (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, at my job in a gas station, a customer who had previously driven off without paying came in to shout abuse at me because I had said in the police statement, "He looks about 60." He is apparently 55. He didn't come in to pay, he came in to swear at me. FML

#21404993
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18392) - you deserved it (1158)

On 05/05/2015 at 6:50am - work - by GotGasNotLuck (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I decided it was time to start looking for my own place and finally gain my full independence. My mom agreed happily without hesitation, which was surprising, but not anywhere near as surprising as finding out I have one day to get my shit together and leave. FML

#21404939
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17369) - you deserved it (1834)

On 05/05/2015 at 2:42am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was talking to a cute guy at my house party and had to fart. Luckily, it was silent. Unluckily, he smelled it, thought my house had a gas leak, and ran to the basement to check the pipes and ensure our safety. FML

#21404933
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17785) - you deserved it (3664)

On 05/05/2015 at 1:41am - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after waking up in a panic because I was running late for work again, I realized I was fired for that exact reason the day before. FML

#21404798
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11039) - you deserved it (18978)

On 05/04/2015 at 10:08pm - work - by Jobless in Seattle - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally got my 14-year-old son to aim while using the bathroom. If only I could get my husband to do the same. FML

#21404795
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18399) - you deserved it (1786)

On 05/04/2015 at 10:03pm - kids - by JustSom - United States (Virginia)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by taking his new car to the automatic car wash. As soon as the water started, I realized that I forgot to close the sunroof. FML

#21404700
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10374) - you deserved it (17781)

On 05/04/2015 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)



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