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Today, I decided to conquer my fear of blades, and tried shaving my legs with a razor. I sat on the side of my bathtub and wet my legs, but some of the water splashed. I slipped on it and fell back, hitting my head on the tile wall and slicing my leg open at the same time. FML

#21304063
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1917) - you deserved it (355)

On 11/22/2014 at 7:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I woke up, only to find my Xbox missing. Thankfully I have a security camera discreetly wired up in the tree on my lawn. Checking the tapes, I saw my brother park outside my house, let himself in with his spare key, then drive off with my missing equipment. FML

#21303975
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1996) - you deserved it (160)

On 11/22/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML

#21303913
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1937) - you deserved it (146)

On 11/22/2014 at 1:37pm - kids - by uterurist (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML

#21303901
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14262) - you deserved it (1485)

On 11/22/2014 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Kilkenny)

Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML

#21303819
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12740) - you deserved it (1479)

On 11/22/2014 at 10:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, on our third date, my date tried to get me drunk and kept trying to touch me up. When I said he was moving too fast, he sighed and soon left. Just minutes later, he posted on Facebook saying "Just got friendzoned -_-". One of his friends commented: "I hate bitches, man." FML

#21303774
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13284) - you deserved it (1425)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:44am - love - by drop dead single (woman) - United States

cherries62212's comment : and some men just don't understand that no means no. -.-

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Today, my coworker and I announced that we are spending our holidays together, because we both have kids. My boss announced he is coming with us. FML

#21303728
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17461) - you deserved it (1949)

On 11/22/2014 at 5:16am - work - by Carnage23 (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

hard_candy's comment : since you announced it, I'm coming along too.

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Today, I noticed my fish was still hungry after feeding him earlier. I figured "ehh a little bit more won't kill him". I was wrong. FML

#21303699
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17312) - you deserved it (4678)

On 11/22/2014 at 2:22am - animals - by liishax3 (woman) - United States (California)

superspooky's comment : How does one know if a fish is still hungry or not?

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Today, I was studying for my Spanish midterm nonstop. After I closed my book, I was so tired that I thought that my cat was asking me questions in Spanish. FML

#21303629
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16893) - you deserved it (1813)

On 11/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Studying is for crazy people. - United States (California)

Today, my five year old sister won't stop saying, "shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML

#21303585
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16359) - you deserved it (1635)

On 11/21/2014 at 10:29pm - kids - by angkal2002 - Australia

Today, I went to the doctor's with my pregnant sister, only to find out she still weighs less than me. FML

#21303583
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16877) - you deserved it (3984)

On 11/21/2014 at 10:26pm - health - by alli67 -

Today, I learned that if life gives you lemons, your sister is going to squeeze them over your face while you take a nap on the couch. FML

#21303546
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17864) - you deserved it (1299)

On 11/21/2014 at 9:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I asked my dad if he thought my dress was nice, and if guys would go for me. He replied, "Shit, depends on how drunk they are." FML

#21303377
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23783) - you deserved it (3139)

On 11/21/2014 at 3:07pm - misc - by Veronica - United States (California)



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