Today, I went for a walk. When it started pouring, I ran under the nearest tree for protection. It didn't occur to me that it might look suspicious hiding under a stranger's tree in a black hoodie, until the cops showed up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1245) - you deserved it (167)
On 05/19/2013 at 7:07pm - misc - by black hoodie - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got my nails, hair, and makeup professionally done for prom. My dad got his camera out, and I presumed he was taking pictures of my date and me. When I looked at the pictures later, they were all of the dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1229) - you deserved it (149)
On 05/19/2013 at 6:33pm - animals - by rach (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went to the ER after I got my finger trapped in the car door. I told the reception nurse I was pretty sure it was broken. His reply was, "Car doors don't break fingers" and then he put me at the bottom of the list. 5 hours later, I found out it was indeed broken. So much for the theory. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1633) - you deserved it (113)
On 05/19/2013 at 6:00pm - health - by V (woman) - United States
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21914) - you deserved it (1610)
On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20454) - you deserved it (2768)
On 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
↑ williamcarter93's comment : I can see this being made into a movie.
Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19437) - you deserved it (1497)
On 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by jfc, how just how (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)
Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24898) - you deserved it (3284)
On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
↑ Wizardo's comment : Hey don't worry, she's your daughter and you should love her anyway and it'll just make for an interesting story.
Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19132) - you deserved it (3955)
On 05/19/2013 at 2:02pm - love - by SariLone (woman) - India (Maharashtra)
Today, I reconnected with my best friend from childhood, and after a tearful confession, found out that for most of my engagement to my husband, she was repeatedly connecting with his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21001) - you deserved it (1294)
On 05/19/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, the couch I bought a week ago was delivered. I don't know which is worse: my son being the one to point out it's been "used", or that he used a black light to prove it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30110) - you deserved it (2582)
On 05/19/2013 at 3:35am - kids - by disappointed dad - United States
Today, I woke up and went into my living room, only to be greeted by my aunt, sister, and mother watching a very graphic video showing women giving birth. They forced me to stay and watch it until the end. It was almost 90 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25137) - you deserved it (2996)
On 05/19/2013 at 2:30am - misc - by dafuqdidisee (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was roasting marshmallows around a campfire when mine burst into flames. I instinctively shook the stick to get it to go out. The flaming marshmallow then catapulted straight into my eye, burning my whole eyelid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29169) - you deserved it (15520)
On 05/19/2013 at 1:26am - misc - by Devin - United States
Today, I lent a pair of expensive headphones to a "friend" for the weekend. As a thank-you, he bought me a soda. He moved this weekend, taking the headphones with him. I lost a $250 pair of headphones for a $1 soda. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26889) - you deserved it (12145)
On 05/19/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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