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Today, I went to get a haircut. Who shows up not 5 minutes later to also get a haircut? My obnoxious, bully of a boss. She proceeded to chat with me across the salon the entire time. There was no way to get out of the conversation. FML

#21346487
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1126) - you deserved it (85)

On 01/29/2015 at 9:50pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I looked out my window to see my neighbor politely shovelling people's driveways. He skipped ours. Why? He likes our daughter but she doesn't like him back. FML

#21346462
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2021) - you deserved it (286)

On 01/29/2015 at 9:06pm - love - by EnderHorse - United States (Ohio)

Today, for the nth time, my father reminded me that I should study things related to the "real" world, as if I was studying theology, astrology or something. I'm studying for a master's degree in physics. FML

#21346352
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2483) - you deserved it (208)

On 01/29/2015 at 6:32pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3778) - you deserved it (1566)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went to have a pre-cancerous mole removed off of my nose. When the doctor numbed my nose, she didn't check to see if the anesthetic actually worked, and began hacking away at my nose, leaving me to feel every last flick of the razor. Turns out I have an immunity to that anesthetic. FML

#21346273
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3772) - you deserved it (247)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:00pm - health - by ThatWasntFun - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that the guy I've been sleeping with is my mom's gynecologist. FML

#21346230
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12091) - you deserved it (1359)

On 01/29/2015 at 2:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Welshite's comment : Now he can say with all honesty "like mother like daughter."

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Today, I woke up after taking the new sleeping pills I was prescribed for my insomnia. I slept for 12 hours and had 5 missed calls from my boss. FML

#21346205
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11417) - you deserved it (1018)

On 01/29/2015 at 1:32pm - health - by anon - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my parents continue comparing me to my "perfect" friend. He smokes dope, is a compulsive thief, and has gone to juvie numerous times. I'm passing school with flying colors and have never been in any trouble with the law. Apparently I should be more like him. FML

#21346172
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11968) - you deserved it (801)

On 01/29/2015 at 12:01pm - misc - by John Doe (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I had to run for the train, but because of my bad foot and limping they held the train, much to people's displeasure. No one let me sit down, so for the 20 minute journey, I stood. With a bad foot. FML

#21346090
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14728) - you deserved it (2009)

On 01/29/2015 at 7:56am - work - by vampyrate3562 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got attacked by a monkey. My country isn't even supposed to have monkeys in it. FML

#21346049
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15360) - you deserved it (1279)

On 01/29/2015 at 5:10am - animals - by Crystal (woman) - Australia

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. Turns out his dad is the asshole customer that I complain about all the time. He recognized me too and spent the entire dinner making passive-aggressive remarks about how bad of an employee I am. FML

#21345967
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17209) - you deserved it (1466)

On 01/29/2015 at 12:39am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

hugozac88's comment : Ask him " if it bothers you so much why do you keep coming back?"

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Today, a kid knocked on my door and said that he would clean the snow off of my car for $5. I agreed and checked up on him ten minutes later. Not only was he taking off the snow, he was taking off the paint with a scraper, trying to get rid of the ice. FML

#21345921
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15687) - you deserved it (2647)

On 01/28/2015 at 11:13pm - kids - by MrRen - United States (New Jersey)

hugozac88's comment : Must have been his first time doing that job....and probably his last

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Today, I got out of the shower and walked into my living room to see my sis' and her boyfriend sitting very closely on our family's fairly large couch. I laughed and said, "Look at the happy couple." Then her now ex-boyfriend burst into tears. Turns out they'd just broken up. FML

#21345785
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17290) - you deserved it (2152)

On 01/28/2015 at 7:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #11
  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

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