Today, while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waited for a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took my chance. Problem was, the loud part ended abruptly. I didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10925) - you deserved it (3151)
On 05/25/2013 at 4:19am - misc - by Like_A_Sir - United States (New York)
Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over after my cousin and his girlfriend were caught in the parking lot. I was wrong, the sluttiest wedding sex goes to my drunk husband and sister in the coat room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16918) - you deserved it (921)
On 05/25/2013 at 2:55am - love - by lizzie - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I had a customer tell me how much she regretted not aborting her expected child, how much she hates the father, and described to me in immense detail what it is like to pee while pregnant. All within the 30 seconds it took me to serve her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15509) - you deserved it (892)
On 05/25/2013 at 1:09am - work - by mmmretail (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I locked my keys in my car. Good thing I went to Lowe's to make spares, which are also now locked in the car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12535) - you deserved it (5691)
On 05/25/2013 at 12:50am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I called my fiancé just to tell him how much I love him, as a sweet gesture. He yelled at me for interrupting his video game and blamed my "neediness" on the fact that I'm menstruating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16908) - you deserved it (3232)
On 05/25/2013 at 12:40am - love - by BellinaNico (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17982) - you deserved it (3110)
On 05/25/2013 at 12:37am - kids - by Laurel (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19449) - you deserved it (2935)
On 05/24/2013 at 7:42pm - love - by yesguysgetabusedtoo (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18903) - you deserved it (1771)
On 05/24/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by unwilling redneck - United States
Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25079) - you deserved it (1720)
On 05/24/2013 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla)
Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25912) - you deserved it (4518)
On 05/24/2013 at 12:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)
↑ MiscHats's comment : sorry, but your daughter deserved it.
Today, after a sleepless night, I fell asleep at my work desk. When I awoke, I found my co-workers had duct taped me to my chair. I was yelling at them to untape me, when our boss came in, scolded me for fucking about on the job, and left without saying a word to my colleagues. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18226) - you deserved it (6010)
On 05/24/2013 at 12:08pm - work - by anthony512 (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35833) - you deserved it (9678)
On 05/24/2013 at 10:00am - love - by datgirl92 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
↑ JustJumped's comment : So he got you in the end, how sweet :)
Today, after months of being pestered to do so, I finally read the first Harry Potter book. I hated it. Upon hearing this, my girlfriend posted the fact on Facebook, where I immediately received tons of abuse and eventual shunning by my friends, family, and coworkers. My girlfriend just laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22106) - you deserved it (26482)
On 05/24/2013 at 8:26am - misc - by obnum - United States (New York)
Friday 24 May 2013
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