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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend dumped me for another girl, via a text message ending with "No hard feelings. Well xcept 4 my cock obvs. ;)" Fuck you, Rick. FML

#21365892
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1054) - you deserved it (81)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, while on the train heading to my new job, my coat caught between two seats. I didn't notice until my stop. I whacked myself in the face in front of everyone trying to get it free, and ended up missing my stop. When I finally got to work, I was told not to bother coming in again. FML

#21365771
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (916) - you deserved it (75)

On 03/01/2015 at 8:31am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my drunken mom began to frantically scream "YEAH" "WOO HOO" and "ALRIGHT" at some kindergarteners that were singing Amazing Grace in honor of a restaurant owner who had recently died. FML

#21365671
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10558) - you deserved it (658)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:07am - misc - by RadioactiveKush - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was checking the family's computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML

#21365639
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10081) - you deserved it (904)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by mszoe - United States (California)

iTzSelverZz's comment : Shrek is love ... Shrek is life

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Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML

#21365511
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12267) - you deserved it (1167)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:47pm - intimacy - by k8thagr8 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I'm stuck in a taxi cab while the driver listens to a radio show about sex fetishes. Can't wait to look him in the eye as I pay him. FML

#21365302
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10900) - you deserved it (1016)

On 02/28/2015 at 2:53pm - misc - by jojolee68 (woman) - United States

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9121) - you deserved it (28812)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

ohjoy15's comment : It's really hard to feel sorry for you here when you opened an envelope that wasn't yours. Especially one that said "private and confidential" as a last chance warning. Totally deserved it.

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Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually let me know that she'll slash her wrists if I ever leave her. FML

#21365201
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17907) - you deserved it (1420)

On 02/28/2015 at 11:23am - love - by great (man) - United States (Texas)

kangx1's comment : Just casually lure her to an asylum

See all the comments →

Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML

#21365151
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24302) - you deserved it (2870)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML

#21365080
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22957) - you deserved it (1518)

On 02/28/2015 at 4:04am - health - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, after struggling for over a year with it, and now having it medically confirmed, I told my step-dad about my depression. He gave me a disgusted look and scoffed, "Toughen up, cunt." FML

#21364994
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21536) - you deserved it (2564)

On 02/28/2015 at 12:22am - health - by fine (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

#21364983
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23141) - you deserved it (3288)

On 02/28/2015 at 12:03am - intimacy - by FreshDonuts (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mother confused the terms 'necromancy' and 'necrophilia'. We had a great talk about why you shouldn't have sex with dead people. FML

#21364935
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18831) - you deserved it (1696)

On 02/27/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by bobjope -



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