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Today, it's been 3 days since I moved into my new house. I'm already known as the neighborhood racist, after some dicksplash thought it'd be funny to tape a sign to my door overnight that said: "DO NOT RING IF YOU ARE A NEGRO AND/OR JEW." FML

#21436613
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8072) - you deserved it (581)

On 07/05/2015 at 1:42am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to an important job interview, only to be told I'm not what such a "prestigious" company was looking for. This from a pimply-faced 20-something who took a personal call on speakerphone mid-interview, and actually said "lmao" out loud at his friend's joke. FML

#21436559
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7545) - you deserved it (524)

On 07/05/2015 at 12:04am - work - by jobless1 (man) -

Today, my friend and I went to a club. She said I look hilarious when I dance drunk. I was completely sober. FML

#21436510
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11906) - you deserved it (1457)

On 07/04/2015 at 9:48pm - misc - by Bad Dancer - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my family claimed that I haven't ever broken a bone because I don't do anything risky. I broke my arm by falling in the shower less than 2 hours later and my entire family thinks I did it to prove a point. FML

#21436352
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12774) - you deserved it (1015)

On 07/04/2015 at 1:56pm - misc - by hamurobby82 - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked outside to see the fireworks. I also got to see my neighbors burning a couch in the parking lot of my apartment complex to celebrate, right next to my car. FML

#21436342
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13452) - you deserved it (870)

On 07/04/2015 at 1:27pm - misc - by hamiltonma - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got punched in the face, had hair ripped out of my skull and broke a tooth on the pavement when I fell. Some guy mistook me for someone else. FML

#21436269
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14901) - you deserved it (851)

On 07/04/2015 at 9:18am - misc - by Zizi (woman) - Norway (Nordland)

worldclassrager's comment : How can OP deserve this? Did you set that couch on fire?

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Today, my internet was so slow I couldn't even load an internet speed test to see how slow my internet was. FML

#21436232
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15473) - you deserved it (1458)

On 07/04/2015 at 5:30am - misc - by bbcgj - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, one of my friends asked me to flirt with her boyfriend to see if he would flirt back. Knowing this was a trust test, I agreed. She got pissed at me when he flirted back and still isn't speaking to me. FML

#21436223
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15511) - you deserved it (2740)

On 07/04/2015 at 4:55am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Iwtumn's comment : I hope you guys aren't older than 12. Seriously, if you feel like you have to do trust tests that should tell you that your boy/girlfriend isn't the one for you and also that you aren't ready for a relationship.

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Today, I got hit in the face by a ping-pong ball. It hit me so hard, it burst a big zit on impact. FML

#21436170
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15867) - you deserved it (1804)

On 07/04/2015 at 2:25am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML

#21436148
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17282) - you deserved it (2287)

On 07/04/2015 at 1:02am - intimacy - by alison (woman) - United States

qwertycode's comment : At least he's comfortable around you :]

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Today, I had to lie to my coworkers about me and some guy beating the absolute shite out of each other in a bar fight, all to avoid admitting my black eye was from my 7 year old son punching me in the face the other day. FML

#21436121
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15320) - you deserved it (4496)

On 07/03/2015 at 11:41pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I took an online IQ test, even though I knew they give everyone unrealistically high scores. My score was 73. FML

#21436113
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15430) - you deserved it (3571)

On 07/03/2015 at 11:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my husband's 70-year-old uncle came for a visit. Since we only have 2 bedrooms, we set him up in our daughter's room. Later, I glanced into the room and saw him masturbating in her bed. FML

#21436083
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20617) - you deserved it (1772)

On 07/03/2015 at 10:31pm - misc - by okaydisarray (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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