Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML

#21365913
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3590) - you deserved it (635)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by love and tolerape, apparently (man) - India (Jharkhand)

Today, my sister came out of the closet. By which I mean she came out as the pregnant mother of my boyfriend's child. FML

#21365896
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4070) - you deserved it (284)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for another girl, via a text message ending with "No hard feelings. Well xcept 4 my cock obvs. ;)" Fuck you, Rick. FML

#21365892
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8859) - you deserved it (610)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

MenacingMe's comment : Lol. Rick is a dick who's mind doesn't click, his humor is sick, he's anything but slick. It's a good thing you dumped that sick dick, Rick.

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Today, while on the train heading to my new job, my coat caught between two seats. I didn't notice until my stop. I whacked myself in the face in front of everyone trying to get it free, and ended up missing my stop. When I finally got to work, I was told not to bother coming in again. FML

#21365771
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8251) - you deserved it (615)

On 03/01/2015 at 8:31am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my drunken mom began to frantically scream "YEAH" "WOO HOO" and "ALRIGHT" at some kindergarteners that were singing Amazing Grace in honor of a restaurant owner who had recently died. FML

#21365671
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14837) - you deserved it (945)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:07am - misc - by RadioactiveKush - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was checking the family's computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML

#21365639
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14221) - you deserved it (1326)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by mszoe - United States (California)

iTzSelverZz's comment : Shrek is love ... Shrek is life

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Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML

#21365511
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15688) - you deserved it (1526)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:47pm - intimacy - by k8thagr8 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Zigstyle308's comment : Take the pain pills and forget about sex, just rest.

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Today, I'm stuck in a taxi cab while the driver listens to a radio show about sex fetishes. Can't wait to look him in the eye as I pay him. FML

#21365302
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13977) - you deserved it (1289)

On 02/28/2015 at 2:53pm - misc - by jojolee68 (woman) - United States

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10594) - you deserved it (33381)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually let me know that she'll slash her wrists if I ever leave her. FML

#21365201
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20601) - you deserved it (1651)

On 02/28/2015 at 11:23am - love - by great (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML

#21365151
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26174) - you deserved it (3098)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML

#21365080
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24652) - you deserved it (1618)

On 02/28/2015 at 4:04am - health - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, after struggling for over a year with it, and now having it medically confirmed, I told my step-dad about my depression. He gave me a disgusted look and scoffed, "Toughen up, cunt." FML

#21364994
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23143) - you deserved it (2769)

On 02/28/2015 at 12:22am - health - by fine (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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Friday 27 February 2015

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