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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML

#21366308
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6825) - you deserved it (561)

On 03/02/2015 at 12:14am - intimacy - by dickofbrokendreams - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was turned down from the dream job that I was promised two years ago, once my chemo and radiation therapy was finished. His excuse? He never actually expected me to survive. FML

#21366066
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11378) - you deserved it (545)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:36pm - work - by kysier (man) - United States (Kentucky)

adamjcurryy's comment : It hurts just reading this.

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Today, I moved to a big city, alone, from a small town. After convincing myself it wasn't that scary, I hailed my first cab. The driver spent the 30 minute ride from the airport telling me about how "sometimes, you just gotta shoot a guy" because if they steal your shoes, they deserve it. FML

#21366058
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8006) - you deserved it (699)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:22pm - misc - by smalltownkid - United States (Texas)

Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML

#21365913
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18183) - you deserved it (3624)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by love and tolerape, apparently (man) - India (Jharkhand)

SkyGuy32's comment : Maybe you're just subconsciously a brony.

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Today, my sister came out of the closet. By which I mean she came out as the pregnant mother of my boyfriend's child. FML

#21365896
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20940) - you deserved it (1420)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

WavRace's comment : Toss their asses back in the closet and lock it.

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Today, my boyfriend dumped me for another girl, via a text message ending with "No hard feelings. Well xcept 4 my cock obvs. ;)" Fuck you, Rick. FML

#21365892
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21774) - you deserved it (1620)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, while on the train heading to my new job, my coat caught between two seats. I didn't notice until my stop. I whacked myself in the face in front of everyone trying to get it free, and ended up missing my stop. When I finally got to work, I was told not to bother coming in again. FML

#21365771
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20578) - you deserved it (1620)

On 03/01/2015 at 8:31am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my drunken mom began to frantically scream "YEAH" "WOO HOO" and "ALRIGHT" at some kindergarteners that were singing Amazing Grace in honor of a restaurant owner who had recently died. FML

#21365671
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22282) - you deserved it (1578)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:07am - misc - by RadioactiveKush - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was checking the family's computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML

#21365639
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21481) - you deserved it (2151)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by mszoe - United States (California)

Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML

#21365511
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21927) - you deserved it (2259)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:47pm - intimacy - by k8thagr8 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I'm stuck in a taxi cab while the driver listens to a radio show about sex fetishes. Can't wait to look him in the eye as I pay him. FML

#21365302
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19606) - you deserved it (1841)

On 02/28/2015 at 2:53pm - misc - by jojolee68 (woman) - United States

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13729) - you deserved it (41689)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually let me know that she'll slash her wrists if I ever leave her. FML

#21365201
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25817) - you deserved it (2149)

On 02/28/2015 at 11:23am - love - by great (man) - United States (Texas)



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Friday 27 February 2015

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