Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, a revolving door got the better of me. I made it into the crowded lobby, unlike my skirt. Bad day to wear a thong. FML

#21448563
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1553) - you deserved it (172)

On 07/28/2015 at 1:18pm - misc - by Oopsie - United States (Vermont)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over the phone, after having left me to look after her dog while she went on a 2-week vacation with her family. Now I have to choose between paying for a kennel for her damn dog or taking care of it every day until she gets back. FML

#21448527
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1389) - you deserved it (120)

On 07/28/2015 at 11:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a customer bitched me out, saying he wouldn't eat his vegetarian dish because it didn't "look vegetarian enough." He then demanded a refund and a plate of the same vegetarian dish. FML

#21448499
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1275) - you deserved it (75)

On 07/28/2015 at 9:14am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to a garden party my friend had invited me to. I soon discovered they had seriously downplayed the formality of the event, as I noticed trays of fancy hors d'oeuvres and glasses of champagne lined up on the table. I showed up with Kool Aid and Ritz crackers. FML

#21448484
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11460) - you deserved it (1462)

On 07/28/2015 at 8:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

TheRugMan's comment : I bet those are some damn good ritz crackers though

See all the comments →

Today, after a 4 or 5 month-long dry spell, I woke up next to a amazing and beautiful woman. Neither of us were wearing pants. She looked me in the eyes and said, "Did I piss the bed?" FML

#21448401
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10389) - you deserved it (1101)

On 07/28/2015 at 2:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

zadok24's comment : Well, at least it's not dry anymore

See all the comments →

Today, my step-sister told me that she was getting married to her girlfriend next summer. At a big family brunch, I made a toast to their marriage. I didn't know that my step-mom didn't know they were dating in the first place, or that she was severely homophobic. FML

#21448362
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13680) - you deserved it (1992)

On 07/28/2015 at 1:02am - misc - by anon - United States (Illinois)

Yazoo77's comment : Well, somehow she would have known. Rather now, than crashing the wedding.

See all the comments →

Today, my brother was telling me about my "sweet" and "pure" ex-girlfriend. Three stab wounds have already proven otherwise. FML

#21448265
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11673) - you deserved it (838)

On 07/27/2015 at 9:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML

#21448216
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14398) - you deserved it (1120)

On 07/27/2015 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I realized the only reason my mom trusts me to stay home alone for long periods of time is because I don't have enough friends to throw a party. FML

#21448086
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18142) - you deserved it (1665)

On 07/27/2015 at 3:12pm - misc - by Not turnt - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

#21448078
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17640) - you deserved it (1736)

On 07/27/2015 at 2:55pm - love - by Afroman720 (man) - United States

Today, I waited 45 minutes at the Apple Store for my grandpa to very loudly ask why PornHub wasn't loading on his computer. FML

#21448024
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18905) - you deserved it (1388)

On 07/27/2015 at 12:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out my pregnant sister has been watching Teen Mom 2 to find out how to be a good parent. FML

#21447950
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20965) - you deserved it (1442)

On 07/27/2015 at 8:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got the last clean bowl out of the cupboard for a bowl of cereal. After I had finished, my family asked me if I had cleaned it first. It turns out that that specific bowl is apparently the dog's, and everyone just puts it back after feeding him. FML

#21447917
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19559) - you deserved it (3754)

On 07/27/2015 at 5:25am - misc - by NoOrdinaryNZer - New Zealand (Bay of Plenty)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: