[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

The Illustrated FML

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate for the first in in several months. Then we heard our son yelling from the other room needing my help. He needed me to scratch his foot because the cat was on his lap and he couldn't reach it. FML

#18930916 (53)

I agree, your life sucks (849) - you deserved it (98)

On 01/28/2012 at 1:27am - kids - by footscratching - United States

Today, I just finished my first week of unemployment. I don't have any money. I also just finished the last toilet paper roll. FML

#18930707 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (726) - you deserved it (101)

On 01/28/2012 at 12:58am - money - by INeedMoney - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after having finally summoned the nerve to report a guy at my workplace who has been sexually harassing me for months, I got a phone call from my boss. He said that there was nothing he could do about it, because the guy "wouldn't confess." FML

#18929517 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (2201) - you deserved it (147)

On 01/27/2012 at 10:41pm - work - by jaycee (woman) - United States

Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring all's fair in love and war, I bought some laxatives to prank her with. They took a lot longer to work than I thought, and I ended up lying in bed, listening to my wife shitting her guts out in the bathroom for over an hour. FML

#18929275 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (503) - you deserved it (3916)

On 01/27/2012 at 10:13pm - health - by smith (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I had to Google how to find the area of a circle. I'm working on my PhD in engineering. FML

#18928299 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (682) - you deserved it (2277)

On 01/27/2012 at 8:20pm - misc - by pirsquared (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was looking through my boyfriend's Facebook photos, when I saw a recent comment by one of his friends asking how his night out with "Danielle" went. He replied: "Dude, keep that shit on the down-low." We've been dating for over a year. FML

#18927532 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (2375) - you deserved it (153)

On 01/27/2012 at 6:52pm - love - by Cheating (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my roommate did his laundry. Unfortunately, he didn't check his pockets before he washed them. There's now sticky, melted gum all over the washer and I'm left to clean it up. FML

#18926835 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (2607) - you deserved it (206)

On 01/27/2012 at 5:32pm - misc - by StickySituations (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML

#18926603 (174)

I agree, your life sucks (3537) - you deserved it (342)

On 01/27/2012 at 5:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, one of my dorm-mates started laughing at a bra hanging to dry in our bathroom. She thought it was hilarious that a college student would still have "such small, baby tits." It was my bra. FML

#18924732 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (3099) - you deserved it (216)

On 01/27/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by selfesteemboost (woman) - Belize (Belize)

Today, I tried to open a can with a potato peeler. For a minute I forgot what a can opener looked like. FML

#18924475 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (1207) - you deserved it (2970)

On 01/27/2012 at 11:30am - misc - by maryfaithh (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mother-in-law asked if she could move in with us. FML

#18924162 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (5118) - you deserved it (355)

On 01/27/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, a truck rear-ended my car and drove off. I could see everything from my office, everything except his license plate. FML

#18923725 (51)

I agree, your life sucks (3769) - you deserved it (195)

On 01/27/2012 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway

Today, I discovered that when the man living in the house behind me thinks no one in the surrounding area is home, he likes to take his laundry off the line wearing nothing but a pair of sandals. FML

#18923298 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (3319) - you deserved it (353)

On 01/27/2012 at 6:19am - misc - by disturbedtosaytheleast (woman) - Canada



Your account

Sign up - Password?
→ Illustrated FMLs
→ The blog
+ FML, the follow-up
↓ Categories

FML's blog

01/27/2012

The whole blog

Switch to FML for visually impaired

FMyLife, the book

Available NOW on:

© 2008-2012 by