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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML

#21365151
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11222) - you deserved it (1301)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML

#21365080
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10631) - you deserved it (693)

On 02/28/2015 at 4:04am - health - by Anonymous - Australia

Grenith's comment : Hop on the nope train to fuckthatshitville.

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Today, after struggling for over a year with it, and now having it medically confirmed, I told my step-dad about my depression. He gave me a disgusted look and scoffed, "Toughen up, cunt." FML

#21364994
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10025) - you deserved it (1293)

On 02/28/2015 at 12:22am - health - by fine (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

#21364983
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15779) - you deserved it (2143)

On 02/28/2015 at 12:03am - intimacy - by FreshDonuts (man) - United States (Tennessee)

FreshToDeathEf's comment : Tell her you're going to start appreciating the little things in life starting with her tits.

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Today, my mother confused the terms 'necromancy' and 'necrophilia'. We had a great talk about why you shouldn't have sex with dead people. FML

#21364935
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13019) - you deserved it (1127)

On 02/27/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by bobjope -

Today, I fell in the shower and the doors jammed shut. I was stuck in there for hours, waiting for my parents to come home. They had to open the door for me while I was still naked inside. FML

#21364892
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16424) - you deserved it (1740)

On 02/27/2015 at 10:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Iwtumn's comment : I'm sure they've seen you naked before.

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Today, I broke my leg. My mom told me I still have to go to tennis class tomorrow because the course isn't refundable. FML

#21364862
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16809) - you deserved it (1169)

On 02/27/2015 at 9:25pm - health - by Ouch (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML

#21364742
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18663) - you deserved it (1349)

On 02/27/2015 at 5:23pm - misc - by pregz (woman) - United States

Today, I saw my grandma had registered on Facebook, so I wrote a welcome post on her wall. She replied "Delete." several times, then called me, accusing me of "hacking" her and demanding that I remove my name from her page at once. FML

#21364671
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18011) - you deserved it (1518)

On 02/27/2015 at 3:20pm - misc - by Y_Y (man) - United States

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

#21364648
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17207) - you deserved it (1836)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got to see my best friend for the first time in months. Her first reaction was to say, "Wow, you gained a lot of weight." I actually lost a fair bit. FML

#21364630
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22505) - you deserved it (1887)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:14pm - misc - by boyishgirl - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was feeling terrible so I called in sick to work. My boss refused to believe me and told me he'd fire me if I didn't come in. I dragged myself to work, only to spend most of the day glued to the toilet. Now he says I won't be paid for the day because I barely did any work. FML

#21364599
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23958) - you deserved it (1674)

On 02/27/2015 at 1:24pm - health - by Mark (man) - Malta

Today, I won a pool game against some guy. His friends started mocking him for getting his ass whooped by a pregnant girl who couldn't even lean over the table. He got mad, swung his pool stick at them, missed, and hit me right in the face. FML

#21364532
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24709) - you deserved it (1697)

On 02/27/2015 at 10:29am - misc - by MCForty (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
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Friday 27 February 2015

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