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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I looked up my childhood bully on Facebook, hoping she'd gone fat and ugly. Turns out she's drop-dead gorgeous and very successful. FML

#21261760
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10618) - you deserved it (2138)

On 09/20/2014 at 11:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my boyfriend has chipped his front teeth for the third time in 2 months. After refusing to tell me how this keeps on happening, I walked in on him throwing his phone in the air and trying to catch it in his mouth. FML

#21261750
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8416) - you deserved it (796)

On 09/20/2014 at 11:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend asked me when I was going to shave my arms now that summer is coming in Australia. FML

#21261696
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12152) - you deserved it (2083)

On 09/20/2014 at 8:23am - love - by chubbyg - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML

#21261625
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12831) - you deserved it (1927)

On 09/20/2014 at 2:54am - misc - by pasquale - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while giving directions to a blind guy, I accidentally made him walk into a wall. FML

#21261532
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15240) - you deserved it (3614)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:14pm - misc - by camerashyguy - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML

#21261512
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16405) - you deserved it (1433)

On 09/19/2014 at 10:27pm - misc - by failingdaily - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, I was hit with a sudden onset of diarrhea and had to use the washroom on the train. As soon as I pulled down my pants, my worst nightmare came true, as someone opened the door and exposed me to the other passengers. FML

Queen_bee1234's comment : This is why you always lock the door before doing your business.

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Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

#21261392
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19452) - you deserved it (1623)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)

Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML

#21261280
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20762) - you deserved it (7580)

On 09/19/2014 at 2:34pm - kids - by hypercrite dad (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML

#21261267
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22114) - you deserved it (2016)

On 09/19/2014 at 1:58pm - misc - by TuT (woman) - France

SarahSehhati's comment : I would take a picture of him in the tub put it on Facebook and post: Someone started their period....

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Today, my boyfriend broke things off, because he says I have a "horrible, horrible personality" and that I'm only really fuck-buddy material, which is a problem because he wants something long-term. We've been dating for three years. FML

#21261219
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20074) - you deserved it (1876)

On 09/19/2014 at 12:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML

#21261205
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23400) - you deserved it (2966)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

alex_622's comment : OP, did you have a reason to be that scared?

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Today, while on the bus, a friendly-looking guy smiled at me, so I smiled back. He then pointed at my teeth and said, "You gonna get those fixed, or just keep them as a conversation starter?" FML



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  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

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