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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went for an interview regarding a seasonal position I'd been offered at a grocery store. The manager showed up 45 minutes past the scheduled interview time, cheerfully greeted me, and took me back to his office, just to tell me that they don't hire seasonal help. Ever. FML

#20671268
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4307) - you deserved it (303)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by ineedayob (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

#20671220
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4031) - you deserved it (361)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she apparently saw me making out with her sister. She doesn't even have a sister. FML

#20671163
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4347) - you deserved it (322)

On 05/18/2013 at 3:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got my third promotion at work in as many years. My husband congratulated me very briefly, before asking if this meant he no longer had to look for a job. FML

#20671146
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7268) - you deserved it (699)

On 05/18/2013 at 3:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Guanajuato)

Today, I spent hours debating with a lady who claimed she'd spent years "studying the big bang theory". Not only did she not know the scientific meaning of the word "theory", her killer argument was "If the big bang happened, where are the fossils?" I'm not sure whether or not I just got trolled. FML

#20671062
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6671) - you deserved it (885)

On 05/18/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by look at the fucking universe, lady (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML

#20670515
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13267) - you deserved it (4496)

On 05/18/2013 at 8:54am - intimacy - by lez probs - United States

Today, I recieved a slip through my door saying that the package I'd ordered couldn't be delivered today because no-one was home to sign for it. I got the slip just in time to watch the guy who put it through my letterbox get in his van, look me in the eye and drive off. FML

#20670426
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22151) - you deserved it (1452)

On 05/18/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by JACKxRAWR (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my bag got stolen with all of my belongings at the beach. After being forced to ask strangers for money, I then travelled home on the train for an hour, wearing only a bikini. FML

#20670402
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22275) - you deserved it (2028)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:57am - misc - by Chelsea - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I took a nap, and I had a dream that my ex-girlfriend got back together with me. I woke up in a great mood. When I went back to bed, I dreamed that she broke up with me, again. FML

#20670246
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20818) - you deserved it (2458)

On 05/18/2013 at 1:22am - love - by Sarsippius -

Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML

#20670019
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20119) - you deserved it (5439)

On 05/17/2013 at 10:59pm - love - by moo... -

Today, my friend told me she'd lost her notebook filled with crucial notes for our finals. She asked if she could borrow mine and copy my notes. She then lost my notebook too. FML

#20669510
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22223) - you deserved it (5275)

On 05/17/2013 at 6:28pm - misc - by well great. - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML

#20669389
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31349) - you deserved it (7747)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by -1 friend (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. I slipped a ruler into it and started scratching to relieve the itch. Part of the ruler ended up snapping off inside. FML

#20669324
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26911) - you deserved it (8504)

On 05/17/2013 at 4:49pm - health - by sprainedankle - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)



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