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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my wallet was stolen from my purse at work. When I asked my boss to pull the security tape so we could identify the thief, he said, "I don't think I want to know who it is." FML

#21462817
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (408) - you deserved it (25)

On 08/31/2015 at 12:50am - work - by bgierczak2 - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my dad completely naked. When I expressed my displeasure, he told me to knock next time. I'd agree with him, if he hadn't been standing in the middle of the hallway in our very open living room. FML

#21462782
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (663) - you deserved it (45)

On 08/30/2015 at 11:27pm - misc - by Eminnis (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while babysitting, I made the kids and myself peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. When their parents came home, their dad took out the same container of peanut butter I had used and let their dog lick out of it. FML

#21462597
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1651) - you deserved it (131)

On 08/30/2015 at 2:44pm - animals - by anon - United States

Today, I was talking to my mom about my issues with my girlfriend. While she was sympathizing, she slowly picked up my wallet, took $100 and left. FML

#21462595
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2623) - you deserved it (199)

On 08/30/2015 at 2:29pm - money - by FranchezDeVista (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I watered a dying communal plant. I was fined $250 for littering. FML

#21462582
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2627) - you deserved it (151)

On 08/30/2015 at 1:46pm - misc - by Waterer - United States (California)

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

#21462545
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15033) - you deserved it (1053)

On 08/30/2015 at 11:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Nico_di_AngeloX's comment : What the fuck? Did your dad never learn proper gun safety? FYL OP.

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Today, I realized I could make more money being on welfare than I can at my current job. FML

#21462514
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12783) - you deserved it (919)

On 08/30/2015 at 10:09am - money - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that while my sister can somehow manage to keep an eye on and control her three preschool-aged children at the park, making sure nobody steals my dog from right beside her is just too big of a job. FML

#21462507
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11374) - you deserved it (1502)

On 08/30/2015 at 9:29am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I met my fiancé's much older sister for the first time. Turns out she is actually my old high school English teacher who used to make me cry at least 3 times a week. It's been three hours and I've accidentally called her Miss Willow 4 times and been reduced to tears twice. FML

#21462491
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17969) - you deserved it (1816)

On 08/30/2015 at 8:13am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (Utah)

Pizzapiggy1's comment : What kind of things would she do to you to make you cry 3 times a week!?

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Today, I was hit by acute food poisoning while attending a colleague's birthday party at his home. The toilet had a door that wouldn't close all the way, there were only three sheets of toilet paper left, and I had to walk home through town, in a dress, with my soiled underwear in a plastic bag. FML

#21462484
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14458) - you deserved it (949)

On 08/30/2015 at 7:29am - health - by monkeywrench (woman) - Sweden

Today, at work, one of the elderly residents dropped a turd on the floor. I went to go get the nurse but couldn't find her. Upon returning to the scene, another resident picked it up and placed it in my hand, thinking it was mud. Now my nickname at work is 'Nugget'. FML

#21462428
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13993) - you deserved it (1056)

On 08/30/2015 at 2:20am - work - by anon - United States (Illinois)

Today, my family was cleaning out our basement when I noticed an empty wall. I asked my grandma if I could put a picture up. She replied, "I don't want your ugly drawings on the wall". I wasn't talking about my drawings. FML

#21462394
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13283) - you deserved it (1010)

On 08/30/2015 at 12:49am - misc - by Failed Artist - United States (Iowa)

Today, my mom saw a picture of the moon and asked me what "those big spots" were. She actually thought the craters were continents and tried correcting me when I told her what they were. Then I almost got into trouble for being disrespectful. FML

#21462353
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13611) - you deserved it (829)

On 08/29/2015 at 11:02pm - misc - by bornfromhillbillies (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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