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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was eating lunch when my grandmother came over and started watching me. Suddenly she said, "I see you're getting breasts". I'm a guy. FML

#20736581
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (979) - you deserved it (216)

On 06/20/2013 at 1:49am - misc - by ohmygod (man) - United States

Today, my brother got one of those water-vapour cigarettes. I was playing around with it, and my neighbour saw me through the window. She came over to yell at my parents about my "addiction" to marijuana. When my parents told her to get lost, she called the cops and tried to get me arrested. FML

#20736550
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1256) - you deserved it (97)

On 06/20/2013 at 1:30am - misc - by aimeealexis (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 months got upset and frustrated with me because he had yet to meet my mom. I'd told him on our first date that she passed away 4 years ago. FML

#20736145
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1546) - you deserved it (79)

On 06/19/2013 at 10:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I helped an elderly lady put a bookshelf in her car. She then thanked me by hitting me with her car as she drove out of the parking lot. FML

#20736007
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3512) - you deserved it (254)

On 06/19/2013 at 9:09pm - work - by anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 15-year-old daughter got her head stuck under the couch. FML

#20735945
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3333) - you deserved it (408)

On 06/19/2013 at 8:34pm - kids - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the airport when I saw a woman drop her bags and run to her husband. Thinking that someone might steal them, I picked up her bags and brought them over to her. She thanked me by slapping me, calling me a bitch and calling security. FML

#20735913
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3920) - you deserved it (621)

On 06/19/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I caught my 16-year-old daughter and her boyfriend trying to use a latex glove as a condom. FML

#20735858
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5681) - you deserved it (734)

On 06/19/2013 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by whatno - United States (Texas)

Today, at my job at my tattoo parlor, yet another client offered to pay for his tattoo by "letting" me sleep with him. This client happens to be my boyfriend's best friend, whose girlfriend is having me tattoo his name on her wrist next week. FML

#20735377
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25328) - you deserved it (1710)

On 06/19/2013 at 2:46pm - work - by notkatvond (woman) - United States

↑ sweatypandalove's comment : Record him saying it and save her from that huge mistake!

See all the comments →

Today, I have pink eye in both eyes, the stomach virus, and a cold. I'm also sitting at work because my boss "doesn't believe in sick days." FML

#20735203
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25845) - you deserved it (1480)

On 06/19/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by sicksicksick - United States (Pennsylvania)

↑ obnum's comment : I'm pretty sure you have a valid excuse here. Isn't this illegal in some way?

See all the comments →

Today, I won an argument against a sexist co-worker. When I left later on, I jumped into my car to drive home, but managed to reverse it into a parked excavator. Guess who's going to hear virginal jokes about women drivers from now on. FML

#20735108
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17992) - you deserved it (8393)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:18pm - work - by fuck the man-dominated construction business (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my 16 year old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

#20735100
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23558) - you deserved it (2046)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

↑ TheDrifter's comment : True talent. Hide the modeling clay, it might put him in the ICU.

See all the comments →

Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML

#20735044
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31304) - you deserved it (1799)

On 06/19/2013 at 11:29am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my parents decided they are going to come with me on my first date. FML

#20734991
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33875) - you deserved it (2256)

On 06/19/2013 at 10:39am - misc - by Overprotected (woman) - United States



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