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Man or woman?

Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML

#21259479
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3118) - you deserved it (583)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband and I broke the news that I'm pregnant. Our 8-year-old son's reactions so far have been crying inconsolably, trying to punch me in the stomach, and swearing that he won't let me give him a brother or sister. FML

#21259449
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3021) - you deserved it (296)

On 09/16/2014 at 1:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I'm at that age where sitting down carries a 50/50 chance of turning my balls into scrambled eggs, a fact confirmed yet again today. Third time this week. I think it's time to switch to briefs. FML

#21259403
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2341) - you deserved it (311)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:20pm - health - by I need a new ballsack. (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML

#21259401
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14875) - you deserved it (1174)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:18pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML

#21259366
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14943) - you deserved it (961)

On 09/16/2014 at 10:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a customer told me that there was no way he was paying for his shopping. He then walked off. As it turns out, the customer IS always right. FML

#21259221
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18488) - you deserved it (1502)

On 09/16/2014 at 1:04am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I video-chatted with my mom and showed her my new, very short haircut. My dad walked in, took one look at me and said, "I can only attribute this to penis envy," and walked out again. FML

#21259205
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17209) - you deserved it (2359)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:31am - kids - by HeIsKindaRightTho (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while waiting for my violin student to unpack his violin, he farted loudly and rhythmically on the sofa, and then went on about how it sounded like the "Shave and a Haircut" rhythm. FML

#21259194
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16473) - you deserved it (1418)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:17am - work - by cazzb - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had made a cup of my favorite coffee, which I had recently found to be discontinued. To accompany this last cup, I went to get a muffin. As I turned around, I see my son pouring the cup out because I out put it next to the sink and he thought it was dirty. FML

#21258936
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19847) - you deserved it (3709)

On 09/15/2014 at 6:19pm - misc - by lucas_urev - United States (New York)

Today, my eight-year-old brother told his classmates that I have cancer. Nope, just really bad acne. FML

Today, I was checking out of a hotel when I saw some complementary mints. They weren't mints. They were glass beads. FML

Today, I was going to put some Italian dressing on my salad when I noticed that the oil and vinegar weren't mixed. After putting the cap back on, I shook as hard as I could. The cap came flying off and I showered myself in the dressing. FML

#21258902
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17903) - you deserved it (5333)

On 09/15/2014 at 5:37pm - misc - by imamess (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I sat in on a university-level physics lecture, listening to my hyped-up co-students approximating the hypothetical situation of the Sun consisting of gerbils. The conversation then continued towards how much better energy/mass ratio the gerbil-sun would have compared to the actual star. FML

#21258867
64 comments

SkyDog's comment : I'm not smart enough to understand this simple post.

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