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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "God" told her to. I guess "God" didn't have any problems with me buying dinner first. FML

#21399506
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (609) - you deserved it (41)

On 04/25/2015 at 1:55pm - love - by wil - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I orgasmed in front of someone for the first time. Too bad it was my dad who didn't knock before coming in. FML

#21399489
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (670) - you deserved it (81)

On 04/25/2015 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss asked if I could spare a few minutes to finish off the last of his paperwork backlog. I'm pretty desperate for a raise, so I said sure. Turns out the "small", "should-take-a-few-minutes" backlog consists of 3 desk-high stacks of documents. Goodbye, cruel world. FML

#21399405
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4590) - you deserved it (407)

On 04/25/2015 at 8:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

#21399378
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7958) - you deserved it (604)

On 04/25/2015 at 6:34am - love - by a critically injured shitehawk (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she'd leave me for her ex in a heartbeat. Tomorrow is, or should I say "was", our wedding day. FML

#21399347
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8940) - you deserved it (500)

On 04/25/2015 at 3:57am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Montana)

Blackhawk706's comment : Better now than tomorrow

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Today, I found out the name on my driver's license is incorrect. I don't know what's worse: the fact the government can't even copy a goddamn name correctly, or that it took me three months to notice, when a cop nearly arrested me for carrying a "fake" license. FML

#21399342
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14199) - you deserved it (2083)

On 04/25/2015 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my little sister filled the huge house I spent over a week building in Minecraft with TNT. She then demanded I give her all the money in my wallet, or she'd blow it all up. She's now $86.25 richer, and my parents think it's too hilarious to make her give me my money back. FML

#21399271
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12651) - you deserved it (9618)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:23pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

BlueXephos's comment : 1) Depending on how old she is, just take the money back. 2) If there isn't a big difference in age, take one of her dresses or shoes, and hide it till she gives the money back. 3) After completing step 1 or 2, enjoy your house :D

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Today, while getting ice cream with a friend, her car got broken into. Nothing was taken except my backpack, which contained assignments making up 50% or more for grades in four separate classes. FML

#21399187
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18117) - you deserved it (1454)

On 04/24/2015 at 7:58pm - misc - by Caroline1812 (woman) - United States (Utah)

KuronoEru's comment : I have a feeling it might be one of your class mate who hasn't done their own homework..

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Today, I was staying at my boyfriend's house while he was at work, and put on his pants to make some tea. As I took my hot tea and laptop upstairs, the pants slowly started to fall down. I had to keep climbing with my pants around my knees, and shuffle awkwardly past my boyfriend's father. FML

#21399154
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14571) - you deserved it (4808)

On 04/24/2015 at 6:38pm - misc - by ohpants - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

#21399141
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18806) - you deserved it (2150)

On 04/24/2015 at 6:04pm - kids - by anonymousyo - United States (California)

Today, a cute, new guy I always run into at work hit on me. Turns out he's only 18. I'm old enough to be his mom. FML

#21399135
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16944) - you deserved it (2093)

On 04/24/2015 at 5:46pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML

#21399079
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22908) - you deserved it (1544)

On 04/24/2015 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Laois)

Today, my boss' incompetent, lazy son got another raise. He only started working here five months ago. Since then he's been promoted twice and given a Bentley as a company car. All this while company profits are in the shitter and the rest of us are facing a wave of layoffs. FML

#21399022
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19917) - you deserved it (1211)

On 04/24/2015 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Qatar (Ad Dawhah)



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