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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I noticed that even though I got all my Christmas shopping done a month earlier than usual, I forgot to put anything in the mail. FML

#21321340
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5068) - you deserved it (1244)

On 12/21/2014 at 3:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. As things got heated, he broke down crying. I assumed it was just anxiety so I hugged him and told him it's alright and that it didn't matter, we'd try another time. Half an hour later, he confessed that he's actually gay. FML

#21321334
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6791) - you deserved it (586)

On 12/21/2014 at 3:30am - love - by gunnerette (woman) - Cyprus (Larnaca)

Today, I was at an outdoors Christmas party and I jokingly complained that my son says 'mama' way more than he says 'dada'. One of my students was at the party and watched him for a couple of hours. He taught him to say 'dada' every time he sees a bug. FML

#21321325
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4866) - you deserved it (734)

On 12/21/2014 at 2:59am - kids - by paparoach (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, as I was saying bye to my girlfriend, I said "see ya later, alligator." She took offense because she thought I called her ugly. FML

#21321170
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10990) - you deserved it (1259)

On 12/20/2014 at 10:37pm - love - by sexualpopcorn - United States (California)

Today, I had to find simple words to explain to the idiot I was tutoring that "1/4" is not of a greater value than "1/3" just because the denominator is bigger. FML

#21321107
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9741) - you deserved it (1890)

On 12/20/2014 at 8:16pm - kids - by Mightaswelltutordogs (man) - United States (Florida)

makaramiracles's comment : Well, there's a reason why you're tutoring them.

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Today, thanks to some asswipe drunk driver fleeing the cops the wrong way down a one-way street, I've now had my third wreck this year. My insurance premium's now higher than Bob Marley in a weed factory. FML

#21321099
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13687) - you deserved it (1192)

On 12/20/2014 at 7:53pm - money - by financially_wreckd (man) -

Today, my 7-year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of the supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML

#21321028
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12351) - you deserved it (1411)

On 12/20/2014 at 5:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a long-overdue message telling her I feel like she doesn't really care about me any more, that it seems like she only ever calls me when she needs money, and that I'm even starting to suspect she may be cheating on me. 14 hours later, she replied: "TL;DR". FML

#21320982
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11905) - you deserved it (1372)

On 12/20/2014 at 3:45pm - love - by KalaKa (man) - United States

austincain117's comment : I kinda hope you mean ex girlfriend... Nobody deserves to be treated like shit.

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Today, my fiancé pawned off my engagement ring so he could buy himself a PS4. FML

#21320958
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21816) - you deserved it (2518)

On 12/20/2014 at 3:00pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

iTzSelverZz's comment : Did he at least buy two controllers so you wont be left out?

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Today, I took a late-night shower. When I got out afterwards, the bathroom door was ajar, and I could have sworn I heard the faint patter of footsteps in the kitchen. "It's probably the cat," I told myself. Then I went upstairs and saw my cat asleep on my bed. FML

#21320813
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20399) - you deserved it (1617)

On 12/20/2014 at 9:41am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was fired for "smelling like garbage". I'm the guy who throws the garbage into the truck. FML

Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML

#21320716
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22173) - you deserved it (2951)

On 12/20/2014 at 2:33am - love - by qyx3lmnop24 - United States (California)

Today, my parents had a loud argument over who is worse in bed. FML

#21320583
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21735) - you deserved it (1560)

On 12/19/2014 at 10:16pm - misc - by cantunhear - United States (New York)



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Friday 19 December 2014

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