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Today, I was on the London underground reading a newspaper. A huge guy was sitting next to me and there weren't many other people around. As I turned a page, he leaned into me, glaring, and said, "I'm not finished yet". At the next stop I put down the paper and jumped off. It wasn't even my stop. FML

#21121256
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (279) - you deserved it (56)

On 04/23/2014 at 10:21pm - misc - by Quackadoodledoo (man) - United Kingdom (Barnet)

Today, I met a cute guy, and everything went great. After a while, he asked me for my number and I gave it to him. Now he won't stop texting me, asking for pictures of my toes. FML

Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML

#21120721
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15509) - you deserved it (5151)

On 04/23/2014 at 10:54am - misc - by killmenow (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my landlord started showing my apartment, where I have lived and paid rent for over 2 years, to prospective tenants. I didn't realize that I was moving. FML

#21120676
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23615) - you deserved it (1519)

On 04/23/2014 at 8:43am - misc - by Almost_Homeless - Canada (Ontario)

honeybeeki's comment : That's against the law. You should report him.

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Today, my teen son gave me the completed manuscript of the novel he's been working on for 4 years. Surprised and excited that he showed so much dedication to something, I volunteered to read it. I'm only on page 16 and it's absolute drivel, with grammar that makes my eyes bleed. Only 281 pages to go. FML

#21120593
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22123) - you deserved it (3062)

On 04/23/2014 at 3:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Awes0meperson's comment : You could just be honest with him and maybe help him fix it instead of torturing yourself

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Today, my great-grandmother uttered the phrase, "Just because I'm gray up here, doesn't mean I'm gray down there!" FML

#21120495
90 comments

AlenaRoseLee's comment : Well, at least she didn't show you

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Today, I finished building a porch I've worked hard on for the past 2 weeks, and I was very proud on how amazing it turned out. Within 20 minutes of it being completed, my pregnant dog decided to crawl underneath it to have her puppies. I had to take half the porch apart to get to her and them. FML

#21120370
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27160) - you deserved it (2934)

On 04/22/2014 at 10:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the sandwich shop I work in. A customer came in and requested an assorted sub. As I finished putting on the sauces, I looked up to see the customer's face set in horror. Apparently I didn't notice that I licked my fingers clean after getting some mayonnaise on them. FML

#21120360
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8966) - you deserved it (31905)

On 04/22/2014 at 10:40pm - work - by NoGlovesNoChance - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he was moaning a lot. My ego was quickly crushed, though, when I found out they were moans of pain due to a foot cramp. We had to stop so I could rub his foot better. FML

#21120108
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27023) - you deserved it (2910)

On 04/22/2014 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by only my life (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML

#21119972
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25500) - you deserved it (2945)

On 04/22/2014 at 2:59pm - kids - by wah wah "you raised him" (man) - United States (California)

Today, my biology professor was giving a lecture to everyone and used me as an example. For what? Traits men are repulsed by in potential mates. FML

#21119838
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26654) - you deserved it (2108)

On 04/22/2014 at 11:26am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML

Today, I used a facial mask for super sensitive skin, recommended by several friends with similar skin issues. Apparently, when the warning says, "May cause some slight redness for thirty minutes", it really means, "Your face will have hives and swell to twice its normal size for several hours." FML

#21119632
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29304) - you deserved it (3279)

On 04/22/2014 at 1:31am - health - by Tomatoe Face - United States (Tennessee)



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