Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I went to get myself a latte to make myself feel better after having a bad day. As soon as I sat down to enjoy it, I spilled it all over myself, another customer, and the floor. FML

#21306295
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1380) - you deserved it (132)

On 11/26/2014 at 4:01pm - misc - by UsuallyaUnicornbread (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I came home late from work. As I got out of my car, I noticed a child-shaped silhouette in my bedroom window. I almost shat myself, since I live alone. I searched the whole house, sobbing in fear, only to find no trace of whatever or whoever I'd seen. FML

#21306286
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16842) - you deserved it (1223)

On 11/26/2014 at 3:45pm - misc - by void bowels() { cry(); } (man) - United Kingdom (Caerphilly)

xluciferx666's comment : Looks like it's time to nope out of that place

See all the comments →

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

#21306254
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14283) - you deserved it (2084)

On 11/26/2014 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I drove over an hour to my grandma's house for her birthday party. When she answered the door, her eyes went wide and she said angrily "No, not you!" and slammed the door shut in my face. FML

#21306195
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14174) - you deserved it (1117)

On 11/26/2014 at 1:13pm - misc - by unwanted (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, what few friends I have won't talk to me anymore. My ex told them she dumped me because I abused her. I never abused her. What really happened is that she dumped me in a rage after I refused to give her money for drugs. Nobody's even asked for my side of the story. FML

#21306153
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16152) - you deserved it (1002)

On 11/26/2014 at 11:42am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

DARKDAY07's comment : Man you can do better than a girl who treats you like that. And friends who believe her without hearing your side first.

See all the comments →

Today, I frantically told my parents that my bank account had no money. Turns out, they took the $1,600 I had saved up from a summer job and invested it in penny-stocks. I was grounded because they were "doing it for the family," and I'm being selfish. They also had lost it all in a matter of days. FML

#21306100
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22379) - you deserved it (1439)

On 11/26/2014 at 9:13am - money - by poor man - United States (Florida)

meggieeeee92's comment : How did they get access to your account? And doesn't the bank notify you when you take out a large amount of money? Your parents are fucked up and should be paying you back for their stupidity.

See all the comments →

Today, my little brother learned about mortality when our dog died. Since then, he's gone a little nuts and keeps ranting that he sees no point as to why our other dog should live. He's 16. FML

#21306062
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17710) - you deserved it (1308)

On 11/26/2014 at 7:09am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I found out that my dog likes to howl when he hears sirens. I live next to the fire station. FML

#21305878
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19417) - you deserved it (2139)

On 11/25/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by drreeeewwww - United States (Kentucky)

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

#21305863
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22313) - you deserved it (1833)

On 11/25/2014 at 3:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom booked a family trip to Sweden. This would be great, if she hadn't asked me to tell our former German exchange student that we were coming to visit her in Germany. She was thrilled. Now I have to be the one to let her down. FML

#21305750
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19252) - you deserved it (1565)

On 11/25/2014 at 11:14am - misc - by Blöde Gans - United States (Florida)

Today, a group of protesters set up just outside my residence hall at one in the morning. After an hour of chanting, the police finally told them to stop, and I was finally able to get some sleep. The protesters responded by pulling the fire alarm in every residence hall on campus. FML

#21305749
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23401) - you deserved it (2016)

On 11/25/2014 at 11:13am - misc - by IHateProtesters (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I discovered that catching fewer mice in the traps I'd put out doesn't mean my pest problem is getting resolved. It means that rats have moved in. FML

#21305734
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20122) - you deserved it (1769)

On 11/25/2014 at 10:28am - animals - by ratqueen - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spent a hour in my car terrified to go inside because I thought my house was being burgled. I saw rapid shadows in the light of my lounge. Eventually I plucked up the courage to creep inside with a rock to find it wasn't a robber. It was my cats, fighting in front of a toppled lamp. FML

#21305532
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20908) - you deserved it (4520)

On 11/24/2014 at 11:21pm - animals - by amazinghermit (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: