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Today, while spring cleaning, my cat came into the kitchen with a live mouse in her mouth. She looked me dead in the eyes and dropped the mouse, which then ran into my bedroom. It's been 4 hours and I still can't find it. Where's the cat? Chilling like nothing happened. FML

#21396858
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9261) - you deserved it (824)

On 04/20/2015 at 2:06pm - animals - by craZycatLady - United States (Kansas)

Today, I received several pairs of panties in the mail that I'd ordered online. When I opened the box, I was shocked because every pair was basically huge granny-panties. I was sure none would fit properly, but I tried them on to be sure. They fit perfectly. FML

#21396824
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8608) - you deserved it (1977)

On 04/20/2015 at 1:01pm - love - by fatass - United States (Nebraska)

Today, after a relaxing week away, my husband and I came home to discover our 17 year old son crashed one of our cars against the other. FML

#21396823
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8666) - you deserved it (903)

On 04/20/2015 at 12:57pm - money - by ihatekids - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had a theatre performance. I had to put on a lot of makeup for the role, and one of the guys said I looked nice. I smiled and said thanks. Seconds later, I'd been sucker-punched by his girlfriend for "flirting" with her man. FML

#21396780
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9448) - you deserved it (616)

On 04/20/2015 at 10:45am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, my mom called my workplace and told my boss to make sure I wear a hat so I didn't get heatstroke like I did on my last shift. I'm 25. FML

#21396530
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16503) - you deserved it (2083)

On 04/19/2015 at 10:39pm - work - by notmysistersbf (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my exchange student asked me for a ride to a party at a friend's house that I didn't know about. When I said, "Oh, just let me change", she replied, "I just need the ride, you're not invited." FML

#21396492
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18955) - you deserved it (1649)

On 04/19/2015 at 9:46pm - misc - by me - Canada

c_wyld's comment : Tell her: "In this country, you drive, you party".

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Today, I pulled up to a red light. My ex was in the next car, and my car's windows are so tinted that you can't see through them, so I flipped him off. I was driving my mom's car. FML

#21396485
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8242) - you deserved it (16607)

On 04/19/2015 at 9:39pm - love - by queenbitch - United States (Michigan)

amileah13's comment : Okay.... What's the point of flipping them off if they can't see you? Just saying

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Today, while studying for an exam, the neighbor's chihuahua started barking outside. After a few seconds, my mom yelled out for me to stop laughing. She honestly thought the barking was my laughter. FML

#21396226
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21704) - you deserved it (2127)

On 04/19/2015 at 1:09pm - animals - by woof? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grandma told me point-blank that she despises gays, but that she'll go to my wedding for the booze and nothing more. FML

#21396211
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22621) - you deserved it (3160)

On 04/19/2015 at 12:34pm - love - by leonuniz (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Tarlachia's comment : "I despise alcoholics, but I'll still take what I want from your estate when you die."

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Today, I was so sleep-deprived, I thought a white car driving toward me was a polar bear. I screamed like a little girl and started panicking. I live in California. FML

#21396178
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19637) - you deserved it (5178)

On 04/19/2015 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend let out a horrible fart in the middle of sex. Even though it was clearly his, he gave me disgusted look, called me a dirty bitch, then kept going. Let's just say I didn't finish. FML

#21396154
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22053) - you deserved it (1971)

On 04/19/2015 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out my best friend's girlfriend is cheating on him with his own brother. I went over to his place and told him everything while his girlfriend was in the same room. He called me a jealous liar who wanted to break them up, and kicked me out while she looked on, smirking. FML

#21396139
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22332) - you deserved it (2186)

On 04/19/2015 at 9:08am - misc - by Anunimos (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend with a serenade. After I finished, she told me she'd come over to tell me she'd found someone else and wanted to break up. FML

#21395896
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23700) - you deserved it (2280)

On 04/18/2015 at 9:03pm - love - by socialix - United States (New Mexico)



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