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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This would have been fine, but her boyfriend is my little brother. FML

#21222459
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3144) - you deserved it (253)

On 07/27/2014 at 9:55pm - intimacy - by why - United States

Today, I got fired by text because my coworkers had apparently told my boss that I was aggressive with customers. When I asked my boss directly and explained that I was always polite and friendly, she said it might have sounded that way because I have an accent. Still fired. FML

#21222422
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2763) - you deserved it (187)

On 07/27/2014 at 8:56pm - work - by ano (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML

#21222298
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5193) - you deserved it (1057)

On 07/27/2014 at 6:17pm - love - by notgoth (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I went to a comedy show with my mom, and they asked the audience members to yell out their problems as ideas for an improv skit. My mom yelled, "My daughter can't get a boyfriend!" FML

#21222137
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23785) - you deserved it (2154)

On 07/27/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by Yeppets (woman) - United States

kingkevin2001's comment : You should've yelled "My mom is a judgmental bitch!"

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Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML

#21222166
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21015) - you deserved it (2454)

On 07/27/2014 at 2:44pm - animals - by Anonymous - Germany (Hessen)

Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML

#21222062
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30172) - you deserved it (3196)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by fingwhore (man) - United States (North Carolina)

BeeHMC's comment : I hope by girlfriend you mean "ex"

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Today, I had to go to the hospital to get blood taken. The nurse mentioned how pronounced and easy to see my veins are. I guess that explains why she missed five times in a row. I'm surprised my arm doesn't look like a heroin addict's right now. FML

#21222027
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22189) - you deserved it (1531)

On 07/27/2014 at 12:13pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found my 6 year old daughter upstairs lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving "the carpet a haircut." FML

#21221737
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22956) - you deserved it (2881)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:51am - kids - by ... (woman) - United States (California)

Today, despite all of the empty seats on the bus, a man sat next to me. So close to me that our legs touched. After a few moments of silence, he got closer and whispered in my ear, "You're so quiet." FML

#21221426
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29165) - you deserved it (2093)

On 07/26/2014 at 7:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Welshite's comment : That's your cue to scream. He won't be complaining about your silence after that.

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Today, I woke up from a horrible nightmare. What was it about? Me accidentally scratching a non-stick pan with my utility knife. FML

#21221361
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23287) - you deserved it (3800)

On 07/26/2014 at 6:09pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I went back to work after a vacation, only to find out I'll soon be forced to dress up as one of the princesses from Frozen to promote our store. FML

#21221108
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31326) - you deserved it (4450)

On 07/26/2014 at 12:29pm - work - by PrincessPromotion (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the mall. A little girl was walking around and telling everyone that they were pretty. When she got to me, she gave me a disgusted look and walked away. FML

#21221083
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35051) - you deserved it (3527)

On 07/26/2014 at 11:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my sister stole my phone, pretended to be me, and tried breaking up with my boyfriend. FML

#21221072
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34136) - you deserved it (3128)

On 07/26/2014 at 11:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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