Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML

#21463909
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (613) - you deserved it (30)

On 09/02/2015 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my idiot kid brother set my shirt on fire with a magnifying glass while I was taking a nap outside. FML

#21463887
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4382) - you deserved it (382)

On 09/02/2015 at 8:32pm - kids - by girl on fire (woman) -

Today, I had yet another debilitating migraine that kept me awake. In the middle of the night, I heard an owl hooting. Thinking it was cool, I moved closer to the open window to hear better. After a few minutes, I realized it was actually my new neighbor having loud sex. My aunt moved in next door. FML

#21463837
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4798) - you deserved it (365)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:52pm - intimacy - by Hooty (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I brought home a new small glass necklace and put it somewhere I figured that the cats couldn't reach. I was wrong. Now I will be looking through kitty litter to find something smaller than a dime. Talk about needle in a haystack. FML

#21463835
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4283) - you deserved it (644)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:39pm - animals - by Shay (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mother called me a slut and unladylike because I prefer beer instead of wine. Apparently, beer's only for "unladylike sluts". FML

#21463833
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5384) - you deserved it (490)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:37pm - misc - by BeerSlut (woman) - Portugal (Vila Real)

Today, after the doctor poking around my urethra and vagina at a lump. She turns to me and says, "I'm going to be honest, I have no idea what that is. Have some antibiotics and we'll see how it goes in two weeks." Excuse me while I go panic in a corner. FML

#21463826
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5417) - you deserved it (352)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:10pm - health - by freakingout (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I agreed to stay a week with my wife's parents, who she told me were traditional Japanese. I was prepared for having to wear Japanese clothes while in the house, but I wasn't prepared for communal bathing in the same huge bath with her father, grandfather, uncle and two brothers. FML

#21463801
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5965) - you deserved it (623)

On 09/02/2015 at 4:13pm - misc - by Alan (man) - Germany

Today, someone left sticky notes with inspirational messages on everyone's locker. Well, almost everyone. My locker was the only one without a note. FML

#21463756
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5669) - you deserved it (491)

On 09/02/2015 at 2:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally got the results of months of extensive psychological testing to determine why I did so well in my course but performed so terribly on the job. Turns out I'm autistic. FML

#21463718
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6826) - you deserved it (491)

On 09/02/2015 at 11:41am - work - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I let my 9-year-old daughter use my tablet while I made her dinner. A few minutes later, she let out a blood-curdling scream. Turned out she'd searched for My Little Pony pictures and stumbled upon a drawing of Rainbow Dash giving another pony a blowjob. FML

#21463707
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15194) - you deserved it (2454)

On 09/02/2015 at 11:26am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

jelly_bennett's comment : I blame bronies

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Today, I've been calling my girlfriend by her nickname for so long, I had to reactivate my Facebook account to find her real name. FML

#21463691
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6866) - you deserved it (14082)

On 09/02/2015 at 9:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - India (Tamil Nadu)

uhlexxiz's comment : Her FML: today, I found out my boyfriend had to activate his Facebook to find out my real name. FML

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Today, I was diagnosed with depression. My girlfriend's idea of consoling me was to break up with me because she can't date a "psycho". FML

#21463683
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14698) - you deserved it (1085)

On 09/02/2015 at 9:29am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

TomeDr's comment : You don't need her. You need someone who is a lot more compassionate.

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Today, my doctor informed me that the tests we've been doing the previous months show no sign of leukemia. I was just about to express my relief when he casually followed up with, "Never mind, there's still a lot of other blood-related diseases we need to look out for." FML

#21463645
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16217) - you deserved it (945)

On 09/02/2015 at 6:09am - health - by Lily (woman) - Austria (Wien)



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