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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found out the name on my driver's license is incorrect. I don't know what's worse: the fact the government can't even copy a goddamn name correctly, or that it took me three months to notice, when a cop nearly arrested me for carrying a "fake" license. FML

#21399342
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7835) - you deserved it (1067)

On 04/25/2015 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my little sister filled the huge house I spent over a week building in Minecraft with TNT. She then demanded I give her all the money in my wallet, or she'd blow it all up. She's now $86.25 richer, and my parents think it's too hilarious to make her give me my money back. FML

#21399271
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7018) - you deserved it (5408)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:23pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while getting ice cream with a friend, her car got broken into. Nothing was taken except my backpack, which contained assignments making up 50% or more for grades in four separate classes. FML

#21399187
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13494) - you deserved it (1059)

On 04/24/2015 at 7:58pm - misc - by Caroline1812 (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was staying at my boyfriend's house while he was at work, and put on his pants to make some tea. As I took my hot tea and laptop upstairs, the pants slowly started to fall down. I had to keep climbing with my pants around my knees, and shuffle awkwardly past my boyfriend's father. FML

#21399154
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10794) - you deserved it (3633)

On 04/24/2015 at 6:38pm - misc - by ohpants - Ireland (Cork)

annarcheer's comment : That's when you put the tea and laptop down and slowly pull your pants back up.

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Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

#21399141
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15428) - you deserved it (1728)

On 04/24/2015 at 6:04pm - kids - by anonymousyo - United States (California)

cheesyfeet2001's comment : I'm intrigued as to what this porn was.

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Today, a cute, new guy I always run into at work hit on me. Turns out he's only 18. I'm old enough to be his mom. FML

#21399135
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13918) - you deserved it (1680)

On 04/24/2015 at 5:46pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Enslaved's comment : MILFs need loving too.

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Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML

#21399079
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19591) - you deserved it (1306)

On 04/24/2015 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Laois)

Today, my boss' incompetent, lazy son got another raise. He only started working here five months ago. Since then he's been promoted twice and given a Bentley as a company car. All this while company profits are in the shitter and the rest of us are facing a wave of layoffs. FML

#21399022
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17134) - you deserved it (1037)

On 04/24/2015 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Qatar (Ad Dawhah)

Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML

#21399007
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12583) - you deserved it (6793)

On 04/24/2015 at 1:09pm - misc - by Kira (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I complimented a player in a game who protected my ass the whole match. As a joke, I told them to marry me. Turned out the person was a horny 40-something lesbian stalker who spent the next 5 hours sending me pictures and trying to find out where I live. FML

#21398988
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19189) - you deserved it (3745)

On 04/24/2015 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the pills my doctor prescribed for my extremely painful period cramps apparently have a side effect; excruciatingly painful cramps. I feel like I'm being repeatedly stabbed in the ovaries with a rusty fork. FML

#21398967
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19458) - you deserved it (1413)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:18am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML

#21398963
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18949) - you deserved it (2085)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:07am - intimacy - by someoneneedsassistance - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband admitted that he's been spying on me for the last 5 years to see if I was cheating, out of paranoia brought on by his own cheating for all 5 of those years. FML

#21398951
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21221) - you deserved it (1282)

On 04/24/2015 at 10:12am - love - by LolaBell (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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