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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, after an 8-month wait, I had my big vacation. The beach, the sea, the dive, the jellyfish, the allergic reaction, the hospital. FML

#21461571
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1439) - you deserved it (109) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/27/2015 at 12:42pm - misc - by Mush - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, at work, I served a customer who looked so much like my grandma that I thought it actually was her. Then I remembered she died 6 months ago. I had to serve customers with a smile on my face while choking back tears for the rest of the day. FML

#21461323
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2200) - you deserved it (157)

On 08/27/2015 at 12:34pm - work - by myanmarkaviar (woman) - Norway (Buskerud)

Today, my slightly batshit insane grandma called me disgusting and unladylike. Why? For writing with my left hand. FML

#21461322
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1925) - you deserved it (141)

On 08/27/2015 at 12:34pm - misc - by lefthandspanker (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I came home from a business trip and was greeted by a foul smell. I soon found out my husband accidentally let the milk go bad by leaving it out all day, then tried to solve the problem by "balancing the temperatures" by putting it in the freezer. Oh honey, no. Just no. FML

#21461314
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1818) - you deserved it (156)

On 08/27/2015 at 12:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Sjelland)

Today, on my daughter's 9th birthday, I have to let her know that her dog died in his sleep overnight. Happy birthday. FML

#21461306
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10351) - you deserved it (535)

On 08/27/2015 at 11:36am - kids - by JDCH_99 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my bitch of a sister broke my new phone, which took me months of work to earn. Her excuse? If I didn't want her to break it, I shouldn't have let her use it. FML

#21461274
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9830) - you deserved it (842)

On 08/27/2015 at 8:43am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bexley)

Today, due to medication I am taking that causes constipation, I have become all too accustomed to using a disposable rubber glove to dig crap out of my own butthole. FML

#21461256
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14517) - you deserved it (1187)

On 08/27/2015 at 6:56am - health - by jack - United Kingdom (London, City of)

TMramrod's comment : That's enough internet for today.

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Today, I was telling my coworker that I was considering quitting the shady, 50-shades-of-scum business we work at. He snitched to our boss, who quickly fired me on bullshit charges of incompetence, theft, and workplace bullying. I guess I'm not getting a good reference from him. FML

#21461238
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11774) - you deserved it (3282)

On 08/27/2015 at 4:37am - work - by Anon (man) - United States

nutella4life's comment : should've kept your mouth shut, OP

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Today, I was going down the elevator in my dorm and a friend joined on another floor. He then thought it was a good time to tell me that he slept with my girlfriend when the elevator got stuck. Worst 40 minutes of my life. FML

#21461236
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16008) - you deserved it (927)

On 08/27/2015 at 4:23am - misc - by smyp - Lithuania

cutycat136's comment : What made this guy think that was the best time to tell you? What if you had decided to kick his ass during those 40 minutes

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Today, I helped an old man who fell over. Turns out he was drunk and had pissed himself. He decided to thank me with a hug. FML

#21461220
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13653) - you deserved it (1023)

On 08/27/2015 at 2:46am - misc - by philip708 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after twelve straight hours of work, my fourteen year old son surprised me with a broken window and a cracked TV. He said, "I was swatting away a fly." FML

#21461075
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14634) - you deserved it (992)

On 08/26/2015 at 8:28pm - kids - by tortureromoretorture - United States (New York)

Today, I planned on telling the girl I like that I have feelings for her. What I didn't plan on was having a panic attack and whispering "I really like you!" super creepily and immediately saying "bye" and running away in shame. FML

Today, I was washing my face like I normally do. My mom walked by as I was wiping my face and said "That's the washcloth I use to wipe my ass!" My dad and brothers are now only addressing me as "Assface." FML

#21460902
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16018) - you deserved it (1601)

On 08/26/2015 at 9:55am - misc - by aaaaaaaaasssssssssssssss (woman) - United States (California)



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Tuesday 25 August 2015

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