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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I put aside my weekend plans to help my aunt with the extermination guy spraying her new house down to prevent cockroaches. After he left, my aunt asked me to go in and turn off the lights because the fumes were very deadly. If I chose not to, she would tell my mom I did nothing all day. FML

#21462982
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3772) - you deserved it (258)

On 08/31/2015 at 1:17pm - health - by Rakib (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw my ex for the first time since we broke up. We were on a train next to each other for 6 hours, to a festival where our tents were pitched next to each other. We're here for 5 days. FML

#21462968
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3713) - you deserved it (308)

On 08/31/2015 at 12:27pm - misc - by NoFunForMe - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I thought the girl I was seeing was going to tell me that she loved me. Instead, she told me how she sucked some other guy's dick. FML

#21462923
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10152) - you deserved it (701)

On 08/31/2015 at 9:16am - intimacy - by FuckThis (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, my wallet was stolen from my purse at work. When I asked my boss to pull the security tape so we could identify the thief, he said, "I don't think I want to know who it is." FML

#21462817
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13211) - you deserved it (834)

On 08/31/2015 at 12:50am - work - by bgierczak2 - United States (California)

Oppression's comment : That's not suspicious at all.

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Today, I walked in on my dad completely naked. When I expressed my displeasure, he told me to knock next time. I'd agree with him, if he hadn't been standing in the middle of the hallway in our very open living room. FML

#21462782
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11609) - you deserved it (759)

On 08/30/2015 at 11:27pm - misc - by Eminnis (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while babysitting, I made the kids and myself peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. When their parents came home, their dad took out the same container of peanut butter I had used and let their dog lick out of it. FML

#21462597
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11872) - you deserved it (950)

On 08/30/2015 at 2:44pm - animals - by anon - United States

Today, I was talking to my mom about my issues with my girlfriend. While she was sympathizing, she slowly picked up my wallet, took $100 and left. FML

#21462595
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12422) - you deserved it (1038)

On 08/30/2015 at 2:29pm - money - by FranchezDeVista (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I watered a dying communal plant. I was fined $250 for littering. FML

#21462582
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12192) - you deserved it (873)

On 08/30/2015 at 1:46pm - misc - by Waterer - United States (California)

DivineZero's comment : Were you watering it with little bits of garbage or something?

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Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

#21462545
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21140) - you deserved it (1564)

On 08/30/2015 at 11:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Nico_di_AngeloX's comment : What the fuck? Did your dad never learn proper gun safety? FYL OP.

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Today, I realized I could make more money being on welfare than I can at my current job. FML

Today, I found out that while my sister can somehow manage to keep an eye on and control her three preschool-aged children at the park, making sure nobody steals my dog from right beside her is just too big of a job. FML

#21462507
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15701) - you deserved it (2146)

On 08/30/2015 at 9:29am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I met my fiancé's much older sister for the first time. Turns out she is actually my old high school English teacher who used to make me cry at least 3 times a week. It's been three hours and I've accidentally called her Miss Willow 4 times and been reduced to tears twice. FML

#21462491
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21350) - you deserved it (2289)

On 08/30/2015 at 8:13am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was hit by acute food poisoning while attending a colleague's birthday party at his home. The toilet had a door that wouldn't close all the way, there were only three sheets of toilet paper left, and I had to walk home through town, in a dress, with my soiled underwear in a plastic bag. FML

#21462484
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17197) - you deserved it (1175)

On 08/30/2015 at 7:29am - health - by monkeywrench (woman) - Sweden



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