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Today, I told my parents I'm pregnant. I got a long lecture from my mom about using protection. It would have been fine hearing all that, but I'm turning 22, I've been moved out for a few years, have a full time job with great benefits, and am getting married next summer. FML

#21435425
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1066) - you deserved it (179)

On 07/02/2015 at 3:16pm - misc - by I'm an adult! - United States (Washington)

Today, I was sent to the principal's office because I refused to take my earbuds out. Those "earbuds" are my hearing aids. FML

#21435419
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12363) - you deserved it (545)

On 07/02/2015 at 2:59pm - misc - by Deaf - United States (California)

XxReddragonxX's comment : how can they not tell the difference?

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Today, my neighbor yelled at me for driving recklessly. I was going 35 mph, and she was stopped in the middle of a road around a blind curve. My "reckless driving" was slamming on the brakes so I wouldn't hit her. FML

#21435393
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9612) - you deserved it (654)

On 07/02/2015 at 2:00pm - misc - by _whyy_mee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I heard my skinny 14-year-old daughter tell her friend, "Ugh, I wish I had leukemia or something so that I could lose weight." Yes, she actually said that. FML

#21435314
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10733) - you deserved it (1080)

On 07/02/2015 at 10:08am - kids - by Worried Ma - United States (Illinois)

catherine012's comment : As bad as it may sound, you should still talk to her about it. She may be going through some serious issues you are not aware of.

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Today, after helping run salads and bread to a table, they demanded I do something about the bug problem. I would've been more understanding if they hadn't chosen to sit outside. FML

#21435223
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15041) - you deserved it (921)

On 07/02/2015 at 2:40am - work - by smokecloud_ - United States (Ohio)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend came to see me and told me that he had a surprise for me. I was excited at the idea of a romantic gesture, but forgot about it until he arrived and things began heating up. As I was removing his pants, I said, "Ooh, you shaved!" to which he replied, "Surprise!" FML

#21435204
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13654) - you deserved it (1866)

On 07/02/2015 at 1:53am - intimacy - by mirandale (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

heirofhope's comment : Well, he didn't lie, you were surprised.

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Today, I quit my job so I wouldn't have to work with this one complete fuck-wit anymore. I told him what I thought of him, and then walked away giving him the middle finger. Turns out, he is a regular customer at my new job. Everyone loves him and thinks he's awesome. FML

#21435181
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14715) - you deserved it (5535)

On 07/02/2015 at 12:49am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found a friend's gold ring in some grass after a intense 10-minute search in the dark. As well as thanks, I've now got a new nickname. You can now call me Gollum. FML

#21435249
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14931) - you deserved it (1776) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/02/2015 at 12:30am - misc - by Smeagogole - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, after replacing several components on my new used car, I realized that the reason it wasn't getting the gas mileage it was supposed to because my coworkers take turns siphoning my gas while I work. FML

#21435168
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16383) - you deserved it (941)

On 07/02/2015 at 12:16am - work - by thatshelpful - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found out where my sister's pet lizard escaped to. I also found out that the little shit likes to hide in dark, cold places. I discovered this when I heard the bastard squeal as I started the lawnmower. FML

#21435132
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14780) - you deserved it (1229)

On 07/01/2015 at 11:10pm - animals - by Alex Andreas - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I sent the girl I like flowers, only to have her later post a picture of them online, saying, "ha when losers send you flowers". FML

#21435086
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18558) - you deserved it (1317)

On 07/01/2015 at 10:04pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mother-in-law started chasing my kids around her house to make them smell her freshly-washed underwear. They were thongs. FML

#21435026
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15140) - you deserved it (949)

On 07/01/2015 at 7:38pm - misc - by bleachingmykidsbrains - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my flight was at the other side of the airport. I ran to the gate, to find that the flight had moved to the other side of the airport. So I ran again to miss my plane by a minute. However I did get a new flight... at the other end of the airport. FML

#21434898
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16526) - you deserved it (1093)

On 07/01/2015 at 3:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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