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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got an expensive return bus ticket to visit my family 200 miles away. I accidentally tore the ticket when taking it from the machine, but the driver said not to worry, as it would still be accepted on the way back. Guess who's still 200 miles from home. FML

#21386064
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (387) - you deserved it (40)

On 04/01/2015 at 7:24pm - misc - by dumbbus - United Kingdom (Stockton-on-Tees)

Today, I was sent the script to a play I'm participating in at school. After reading it a couple of times, I noticed that my part has been forgotten completely. FML

#21386014
6 comments

I agree, your life sucks (383) - you deserved it (23)

On 04/01/2015 at 6:09pm - misc - by ThirteenThirteen (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, it's April Fool's day. I had to take a CPR class, and everything was going well. We took a break and I went to get a drink of water and started choking. They thought I was making fun of the class, and made me leave. FML

#21385728
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10288) - you deserved it (739)

On 04/01/2015 at 1:56pm - misc - by megan - United States (Florida)

Today, a coworker and I pulled a April Fools' joke on our boss. She "borrowed" his keys and rolled down his window. I took a car window from a scrap yard and sprinkled it on the ground near his door. His response was to kick the nearest object in anger. The nearest object happened to be my car. FML

#21385709
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8866) - you deserved it (3421)

On 04/01/2015 at 1:46pm - work - by TecheyTim - United States (New York)

Today, my self-esteem issues got me jealous of Superman's hair. FML

#21385588
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9709) - you deserved it (2323)

On 04/01/2015 at 12:20pm - misc - by curseyousuperman (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my colleagues were excitedly talking about going for drinks after work. I heard one of them ask, Is Sam coming?' and shortly after leave without me. I'm Sam. FML

#21385304
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15102) - you deserved it (2384)

On 04/01/2015 at 7:37am - work - by Sam - Netherlands (Groningen)

Zelphoric's comment : THEY MUST NOT LIKE YOU ALSO I PREFER PINE DRINKS OVER FIR DRINKS

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Today, my girlfriend asked me to take my belt off as the buckle was hurting her leg. I didn't have a belt on. FML

#21385195
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13789) - you deserved it (2738)

On 04/01/2015 at 3:40am - intimacy - by zetuga (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Peter_Ohnigian's comment : Could someone explain to me what happened in fluent English?

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Today, my brother mentioned my dad's birthday party. I said, "What party?" He said, "Shit, forgot I wasn't supposed to tell you." My own father doesn't want me at his party. FML

#21385144
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17901) - you deserved it (2169)

On 04/01/2015 at 2:06am - love - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, on my day off, I received a call from my boss asking why I wasn't at work yet. After getting dressed and an hour-long train ride later, I got there only to find out that it was an April Fool's prank. I had to take the train back home. FML

#21384991
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16915) - you deserved it (4297)

On 03/31/2015 at 10:15pm - work - by IDontGetPaidEnoughForThisShit (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Miss_Moody23's comment : C'mon moderators, you've got one job!

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Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML

#21384902
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16713) - you deserved it (1628)

On 03/31/2015 at 7:32pm - work - by DrunkParents - United States (Montana)

Today, I was siting in a library when a cute boy approached me, so I grabbed the nearest book. When he asked me what I was reading, I said I was revising for an English test. He laughed and pointed out that my book was in French. FML

#21384778
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9608) - you deserved it (11521)

On 03/31/2015 at 3:24pm - misc - by ip7 - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I was fired from job as a personal trainer. Why? Because I was working out with a friend while off-duty. Apparently, working out with a friend on a day off means I am training them under the table. FML

#21384707
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23291) - you deserved it (1877)

On 03/31/2015 at 12:47pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out there's a support page on Facebook for people who have been "hurt" by me. FML

#21384648
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12244) - you deserved it (21683)

On 03/31/2015 at 9:41am - misc - by SupportPage - United States (California)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

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  • OK jkjk it was FMLS April Fools
  •   Yah its know over, ive stoppd wrotting… Sorry, I'll try again. There, it's over, I can stop typing TXT language with my forehead. Yes, you probably cottened on that it was our little…

Monday 30 March 2015

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