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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, a guest at the hotel I work at started shouting at me. Apparently the street vendor selling sunglasses outside the hotel sold her a pair of 'genuine' Ray Bans for $5. She wanted me to phone the police because she realized two days later they were fake. FML

#21435445
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (331) - you deserved it (19)

On 07/02/2015 at 4:25pm - love - by soo -

Today, I told my parents I'm pregnant. I got a long lecture from my mom about using protection. It would have been fine hearing all that, but I'm turning 22, I've been moved out for a few years, have a full time job with great benefits, and am getting married next summer. FML

#21435425
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2732) - you deserved it (460)

On 07/02/2015 at 3:16pm - misc - by I'm an adult! - United States (Washington)

Today, I was sent to the principal's office because I refused to take my earbuds out. Those "earbuds" are my hearing aids. FML

#21435419
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13700) - you deserved it (619)

On 07/02/2015 at 2:59pm - misc - by Deaf - United States (California)

XxReddragonxX's comment : how can they not tell the difference?

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Today, my neighbor yelled at me for driving recklessly. I was going 35 mph, and she was stopped in the middle of a road around a blind curve. My "reckless driving" was slamming on the brakes so I wouldn't hit her. FML

#21435393
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10622) - you deserved it (725)

On 07/02/2015 at 2:00pm - misc - by _whyy_mee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I heard my skinny 14-year-old daughter tell her friend, "Ugh, I wish I had leukemia or something so that I could lose weight." Yes, she actually said that. FML

catherine012's comment : As bad as it may sound, you should still talk to her about it. She may be going through some serious issues you are not aware of.

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Today, after helping run salads and bread to a table, they demanded I do something about the bug problem. I would've been more understanding if they hadn't chosen to sit outside. FML

#21435223
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15670) - you deserved it (960)

On 07/02/2015 at 2:40am - work - by smokecloud_ - United States (Ohio)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend came to see me and told me that he had a surprise for me. I was excited at the idea of a romantic gesture, but forgot about it until he arrived and things began heating up. As I was removing his pants, I said, "Ooh, you shaved!" to which he replied, "Surprise!" FML

#21435204
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14227) - you deserved it (1948)

On 07/02/2015 at 1:53am - intimacy - by mirandale (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

heirofhope's comment : Well, he didn't lie, you were surprised.

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Today, I quit my job so I wouldn't have to work with this one complete fuck-wit anymore. I told him what I thought of him, and then walked away giving him the middle finger. Turns out, he is a regular customer at my new job. Everyone loves him and thinks he's awesome. FML

#21435181
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15291) - you deserved it (5736)

On 07/02/2015 at 12:49am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found a friend's gold ring in some grass after a intense 10-minute search in the dark. As well as thanks, I've now got a new nickname. You can now call me Gollum. FML

#21435249
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15447) - you deserved it (1838) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/02/2015 at 12:30am - misc - by Smeagogole - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, after replacing several components on my new used car, I realized that the reason it wasn't getting the gas mileage it was supposed to because my coworkers take turns siphoning my gas while I work. FML

#21435168
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16919) - you deserved it (965)

On 07/02/2015 at 12:16am - work - by thatshelpful - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found out where my sister's pet lizard escaped to. I also found out that the little shit likes to hide in dark, cold places. I discovered this when I heard the bastard squeal as I started the lawnmower. FML

#21435132
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15277) - you deserved it (1263)

On 07/01/2015 at 11:10pm - animals - by Alex Andreas - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I sent the girl I like flowers, only to have her later post a picture of them online, saying, "ha when losers send you flowers". FML

#21435086
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19114) - you deserved it (1356)

On 07/01/2015 at 10:04pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mother-in-law started chasing my kids around her house to make them smell her freshly-washed underwear. They were thongs. FML

#21435026
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15572) - you deserved it (978)

On 07/01/2015 at 7:38pm - misc - by bleachingmykidsbrains - Canada (Quebec)



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