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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, after working 8 hours and immediately packing my house for another 6 hours to prepare for moving, I was extremely exhausted and more than ready to brush my teeth and go to bed. I tiredly brushed my teeth with my mascara. FML

#21461561
7 comments

I agree, your life sucks (379) - you deserved it (45)

On 08/28/2015 at 12:40am - misc - by morethanablondemoment - United States (California)

Today, my mom decided to show me her new rape whistle. She kept blowing it every couple of minutes while we were stuck in traffic. FML

#21461377
6 comments

I agree, your life sucks (224) - you deserved it (22)

On 08/27/2015 at 3:52pm - misc - by PositiveElectron - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that the medicine I've been taking for my headaches is responsible for my headaches getting even worse. FML

#21461347
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4696) - you deserved it (362)

On 08/27/2015 at 1:50pm - health - by des - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to my fiance's cousin's wedding with him. I got drunk and danced like a stripper in front of his entire extended family, who I'd just met that day. FML

#21461344
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1863) - you deserved it (6649)

On 08/27/2015 at 1:44pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after an 8-month wait, I had my big vacation. The beach, the sea, the dive, the jellyfish, the allergic reaction, the hospital. FML

#21461571
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7421) - you deserved it (439) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/27/2015 at 12:42pm - misc - by Mush - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, at work, I served a customer who looked so much like my grandma that I thought it actually was her. Then I remembered she died 6 months ago. I had to serve customers with a smile on my face while choking back tears for the rest of the day. FML

#21461323
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8340) - you deserved it (622)

On 08/27/2015 at 12:34pm - work - by myanmarkaviar (woman) - Norway (Buskerud)

Today, my slightly batshit insane grandma called me disgusting and unladylike. Why? For writing with my left hand. FML

#21461322
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7430) - you deserved it (485)

On 08/27/2015 at 12:34pm - misc - by lefthandspanker (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I came home from a business trip and was greeted by a foul smell. I soon found out my husband accidentally let the milk go bad by leaving it out all day, then tried to solve the problem by "balancing the temperatures" by putting it in the freezer. Oh honey, no. Just no. FML

#21461314
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6804) - you deserved it (553)

On 08/27/2015 at 12:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Sjelland)

Today, on my daughter's 9th birthday, I have to let her know that her dog died in his sleep overnight. Happy birthday. FML

#21461306
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14101) - you deserved it (737)

On 08/27/2015 at 11:36am - kids - by JDCH_99 - Canada (Ontario)

StormfrontX33's comment : Death is always unexpected, so please take your time explaining. No matter what age, death is hard for us all. Even losing my fiancée not long ago, I break down and still am trying to hold on. Our support network makes all of the difference in the world. We don't have to bear through life alone. Just be there. That's all anyone can do or ask for. RIP Joy.

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Today, my bitch of a sister broke my new phone, which took me months of work to earn. Her excuse? If I didn't want her to break it, I shouldn't have let her use it. FML

#21461274
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13396) - you deserved it (1172)

On 08/27/2015 at 8:43am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bexley)

losesitall's comment : Family. You can't pick um

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Today, due to medication I am taking that causes constipation, I have become all too accustomed to using a disposable rubber glove to dig crap out of my own butthole. FML

#21461256
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16780) - you deserved it (1400)

On 08/27/2015 at 6:56am - health - by jack - United Kingdom (London, City of)

TMramrod's comment : That's enough internet for today.

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Today, I was telling my coworker that I was considering quitting the shady, 50-shades-of-scum business we work at. He snitched to our boss, who quickly fired me on bullshit charges of incompetence, theft, and workplace bullying. I guess I'm not getting a good reference from him. FML

#21461238
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13639) - you deserved it (3798)

On 08/27/2015 at 4:37am - work - by Anon (man) - United States

Today, I was going down the elevator in my dorm and a friend joined on another floor. He then thought it was a good time to tell me that he slept with my girlfriend when the elevator got stuck. Worst 40 minutes of my life. FML

#21461236
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17667) - you deserved it (1018)

On 08/27/2015 at 4:23am - misc - by smyp - Lithuania



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Tuesday 25 August 2015

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