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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, at my job at my tattoo parlor, yet another client offered to pay for his tattoo by "letting" me sleep with him. This client happens to be my boyfriend's best friend, whose girlfriend is having me tattoo his name on her wrist next week. FML

#20735377
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6997) - you deserved it (485)

On 06/19/2013 at 2:46pm - work - by notkatvond (woman) - United States

Today, I have pink eye in both eyes, the stomach virus, and a cold. I'm also sitting at work because my boss "doesn't believe in sick days." FML

#20735203
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7043) - you deserved it (395)

On 06/19/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by sicksicksick - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I won an argument against a sexist co-worker. When I left later on, I jumped into my car to drive home, but managed to reverse it into a parked excavator. Guess who's going to hear virginal jokes about women drivers from now on. FML

#20735108
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7035) - you deserved it (3528)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:18pm - work - by fuck the man-dominated construction business (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my 16 year old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

#20735100
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9334) - you deserved it (801)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML

#20735044
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20919) - you deserved it (1177)

On 06/19/2013 at 11:29am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my parents decided they are going to come with me on my first date. FML

#20734991
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22806) - you deserved it (1479)

On 06/19/2013 at 10:39am - misc - by Overprotected (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he hasn't been to the dentist in two years and definitely doesn't plan on it because, "That's just how the government steals more money." FML

#20734761
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18226) - you deserved it (2385)

On 06/19/2013 at 3:22am - misc - by RoyallyGrossedOut (woman) - United States

Today, my duty manager demanded we close the bar early because she wanted to go home. I was subject to abuse from customers for closing early, then shouted at by the duty manager for not being done. My actual bar manager fired me for closing early. FML

#20734756
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22102) - you deserved it (1754)

On 06/19/2013 at 3:18am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

#20733893
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20477) - you deserved it (8446)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm - animals - by CatLover<3 - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter believed that watching the Big Bang Theory would count as studying for her chemistry final. FML

#20733887
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21199) - you deserved it (3059)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my sister came to stay with me in my apartment for the last few weeks of her difficult pregnancy. However she didn't tell me she was bringing her two dogs, her jackass of a husband, my bratty nephew and an inflatable kiddie pool so she could have a natural water birth in my living room. FML

#20733830
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28421) - you deserved it (2453)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:48pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML

#20733745
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25468) - you deserved it (4283)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:01pm - money - by No money, mo' problems - United States

↑ graceinsheepwear's comment : Sounds like you've been scammed.

See all the comments →

Today, I was visiting my childhood home, and I checked out my old treehouse. A family of skunks had made it their home, and I was promptly sprayed upon entering. FML

#20733333
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26835) - you deserved it (4181)

On 06/18/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by skunked - United States (California)



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