Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I found my first grey pube. At my age, this seems like a normal thing for a man to find, but I found mine in my Big Mac. FML

#21242064
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2906) - you deserved it (202)

On 08/20/2014 at 10:29pm - health - by James_Briggs - United States (Colorado)

Today, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head on the steering wheel at a red light, causing the horn to go on full blast. FML

#21241945
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2237) - you deserved it (280)

On 08/20/2014 at 8:07pm - misc - by Shawnee_dear - United States

Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML

#21241880
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12381) - you deserved it (1887)

On 08/20/2014 at 6:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12111) - you deserved it (2253)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

weveallbeenthere's comment : she's a keeper.

See all the comments →

Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML

#21241796
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12140) - you deserved it (873)

On 08/20/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by sonofaneuroticwench (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my 24-year-old, unemployed brother stole all of my food money and went out with his friends. His punishment from our parents? He has to pay me back when he gets a job. My stomach has to wait. FML

#21241750
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20456) - you deserved it (1310)

On 08/20/2014 at 2:59pm - money - by HungryStudent (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I got drunk, broke up with my girlfriend, and sent my grandma nude pics. thinking she was my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. FML

#21241704
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10247) - you deserved it (20738)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by Kev (man) - United States (New Jersey)

warsun's comment : F your grandma's life actually

See all the comments →

Today, I'm getting married. I have a big poofy white dress and, oh yes, the shits. Here's hoping I can make it down the aisle without rushing off to the toilet. FML

#21241662
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21018) - you deserved it (1477)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:01pm - love - by ithinkicanmakeit - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML

#21241441
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25320) - you deserved it (3347)

On 08/20/2014 at 2:07am - intimacy - by Mia (woman) - United States (Oregon)

nieldan's comment : I guess there are two pussies purring

See all the comments →

Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML

#21241406
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38009) - you deserved it (2478)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:15am - health - by BagelTheOtaku (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks found the engagement ring I tried to give to my ex. She started crying and said yes. FML

#21241178
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32108) - you deserved it (6342)

On 08/19/2014 at 7:37pm - love - by lent - United States (Idaho)

Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that I'm pregnant. He instantly replied "Bullshit!", then hung up and apparently skipped town. FML

#21241143
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29852) - you deserved it (4239)

On 08/19/2014 at 6:30pm - kids - by Xbieblette51 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

#21241122
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26115) - you deserved it (7297)

On 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: