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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I realized the only reason my mom trusts me to stay home alone for long periods of time is because I don't have enough friends to throw a party. FML

#21448086
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4534) - you deserved it (402)

On 07/27/2015 at 3:12pm - misc - by Not turnt - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

#21448078
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4439) - you deserved it (417)

On 07/27/2015 at 2:55pm - love - by Afroman720 (man) - United States

Today, I waited 45 minutes at the Apple Store for my grandpa to very loudly ask why PornHub wasn't loading on his computer. FML

#21448024
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6505) - you deserved it (452)

On 07/27/2015 at 12:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out my pregnant sister has been watching Teen Mom 2 to find out how to be a good parent. FML

#21447950
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12708) - you deserved it (815)

On 07/27/2015 at 8:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

NicoleP1993's comment : Run as fast as you can to the nearest bookstore and buy her something actually useful. Before your sister thinks parenting is supposed to come with a shitton of drama..

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Today, I got the last clean bowl out of the cupboard for a bowl of cereal. After I had finished, my family asked me if I had cleaned it first. It turns out that that specific bowl is apparently the dog's, and everyone just puts it back after feeding him. FML

#21447917
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12127) - you deserved it (2250)

On 07/27/2015 at 5:25am - misc - by NoOrdinaryNZer - New Zealand (Bay of Plenty)

Yazoo77's comment : Why does the dog have a bowl similar to the normal ones?

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Today, I decided to start jogging to keep fit. I was passed about ten times by the same car, carrying four bozos whose vocabulary consisted only of, "TITTIES!" and copious amounts of giggling. FML

Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML

#21447824
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11476) - you deserved it (2124)

On 07/27/2015 at 12:43am - intimacy - by anon - United States

Today, I found out why my girlfriend was so excited to get to see me. She finally got to end the relationship she didn't want anymore. FML

Today, the drive-thru lady at Taco Bell broke my debit card and tried to hide it by wrapping it in a receipt. FML

#21447771
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13842) - you deserved it (785)

On 07/26/2015 at 11:00pm - money - by stonehengeva - United States (Virginia)

Yazoo77's comment : I would have felt bad and let it go if she apologized, but badly failing at hiding her mistake, should tell the manager.

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Today, my long distance boyfriend got angry because I like touching myself while we sext. It "distracts" me from him. I'm sorry you turn me on. FML

#21447742
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12803) - you deserved it (1212)

On 07/26/2015 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by wot02 (woman) - United States

Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML

#21447695
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10933) - you deserved it (6799)

On 07/26/2015 at 7:55pm - misc - by blondebarbie271 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I had to go to the emergency room in the middle of the night. Even though they know I don't have any money, let alone shoes on my feet, my parents have decided it's far too much trouble to come pick me up because we're on vacation and they want to have fun. FML

#21447671
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12311) - you deserved it (886)

On 07/26/2015 at 6:47pm - health - by GreatParenting (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I went to put a lasagna in the oven for dinner. I was greeted by a revolting scent of a chicken-soup and biscuits boxed dinner. The fridge apparently was too full for my brother to put it away inside, so he covered it up and forgot about it in the oven. We made that dinner two weeks ago. FML.

#21447669
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12368) - you deserved it (1093)

On 07/26/2015 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)



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