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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, after months of my wife nagging me to finish building our son a tree-house, I put the finishing coat of paint on. When I called my son outside to see it, my wife decided it was too high and my son is not allowed up inside. FML

#20734434
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1857) - you deserved it (97)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by turtleduck - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

#20733893
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1389) - you deserved it (494)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm - animals - by CatLover<3 - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter believed that watching the Big Bang Theory would count as studying for her chemistry final. FML

#20733887
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2520) - you deserved it (307)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my sister came to stay with me in my apartment for the last few weeks of her difficult pregnancy. However she didn't tell me she was bringing her two dogs, her jackass of a husband, my bratty nephew and an inflatable kiddie pool so she could have a natural water birth in my living room. FML

#20733830
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5293) - you deserved it (416)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:48pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML

#20733745
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4906) - you deserved it (813)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:01pm - money - by No money, mo' problems - United States

Today, I was visiting my childhood home, and I checked out my old treehouse. A family of skunks had made it their home, and I was promptly sprayed upon entering. FML

#20733333
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19731) - you deserved it (3049)

On 06/18/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by skunked - United States (California)

Today, I cut my own bangs. I pulled too much hair to the front and ended up giving myself a mullet. FML

#20733203
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9892) - you deserved it (21577)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:28pm - misc - by kittykittyrun (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

#20733192
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24162) - you deserved it (3054)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

↑ _DudeGuy_'s comment : Your roommates has a badass sense of humor.

See all the comments →

Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML

#20733111
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27881) - you deserved it (10003)

On 06/18/2013 at 11:02am - love - by Well, crap (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

↑ debbster7's comment : Why go all out when something as simple as you saying "will you go out with me?" would work? Save that shit for marriage proposals.

See all the comments →

Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML

#20732995
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31792) - you deserved it (2942)

On 06/18/2013 at 9:06am - work - by Not a day over 35 (woman) - United States (Alaska)

↑ speckledots's comment : well. Happy 29th Birthday!

See all the comments →

Today, I went to the gynecologist. In the waiting room they had decorative words that spelled out "Relax" and "Enjoy". FML

#20732921
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21932) - you deserved it (2149)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I learned that the money I work hard for on YouTube has been transferred to the wrong person's banking account. That person is my ex-girlfriend. FML

#20732776
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27967) - you deserved it (3536)

On 06/18/2013 at 2:35am - money - by Broccolliboyy (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my parents took my iPad back to the store and exchanged it for two cheap knock off tablets. Reason being my little brother threatened to run away because I had one and he didn't. I bought the iPad on my own after graduation. They kept the difference in price. FML

#20732775
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34248) - you deserved it (1819)

On 06/18/2013 at 2:34am - kids - by evilmuffinlord (woman) - United States (Texas)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.



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