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Today, I found out what mouse intestines squashed against my bare feet feels like. FML

#21451813
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9855) - you deserved it (816)

On 08/04/2015 at 3:19pm - animals - by whydoihavecats - United Kingdom

Today, my boss made me type up my own written warning, where I had to trash myself and describe my own "shocking incompetence". All the department heads are going to receive a copy of this. FML

#21451804
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9208) - you deserved it (1080)

On 08/04/2015 at 3:06pm - work - by ksa (man) - Poland (Slaskie)

Today, at work, a customer told me how unprofessional my piercing made me look, and insisted that someone else wait on his table. It's not a piercing, it's a mole. FML

#21451761
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9683) - you deserved it (623)

On 08/04/2015 at 1:02pm - work - by Mmorgan771 - United States (Florida)

Welshite's comment : This is why animals don't make great jewelry. Just think of the poor little mole family left without their father.

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Today, while trying to quit my horrible job at a pizza place, I got so nervous that I accidentally offered to work double my usual hours for another month. FML

#21451712
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12685) - you deserved it (8185)

On 08/04/2015 at 9:31am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

MyNameIsLaughter's comment : Write down a notice of resignation. If you write it out and hand it to the manager you won't be so nervous you can't speak up, and it looks more professional. Good luck OP

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Today, I went to a high school reunion. An old friend I hadn't seen in a while suddenly came up to me and gasped, "Oh, thank God!" I was about to greet her and catch up when she added, "I'm not the only one who gained weight!" FML

#21451692
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14538) - you deserved it (1496)

On 08/04/2015 at 7:59am - misc - by elizio (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to the movies. A really cute girl sat beside me. I tried to strike up a conversation with her until she turned to look at me and I realized he was a guy. I couldn't even finish the movie because I felt his judging eyes burn holes into me the entire time. FML

#21451650
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12575) - you deserved it (3686)

On 08/04/2015 at 3:33am - love - by that girl has a beard - Canada

TheNiceOne's comment : Op, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say that it was probably really really dark in there at the time.

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Today, I got a ticket for "suspicious driving" because my total shit of a mother kept tugging on the wheel to annoy me, and I still had to pay it. FML

#21451593
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15622) - you deserved it (1104)

On 08/04/2015 at 12:23am - misc - by MomStayOutOfTheCar - United States

Today, my local USPS delivery man refused to deliver any more packages to my house, because in the past, my dogs have barked at him and he feels threatened. He also filed a complaint about our house because apparently my driveway has branches that, to him, are considered "hazardous." FML

Today, I was asked to cover work for someone because they have volleyball practice. Apparently, they haven't noticed that we've been on the same team for two years. FML

#21451556
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16018) - you deserved it (1073)

On 08/03/2015 at 10:48pm - work - by eventer1919 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I also needed to add, "Does not currently live in a psychiatric hospital, after being declared 'Not criminally responsible for a crime'" to my list of qualities that I want in a man. FML

#21451515
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14302) - you deserved it (1340)

On 08/03/2015 at 9:43pm - love - by whyyyyyme (woman) - Canada

Today, I met my wife's mistress, at the maternity ward in the hospital, after she gave birth to our second child. FML

#21451505
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15792) - you deserved it (1252)

On 08/03/2015 at 9:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was at a bar. When asked if I wanted a refill of my coffee, I said yes, and moved the cup from my lap to the counter. As I did this, the waitress spilled hot coffee right into my crotch. FML

Today, a bunch of friends and I went skinny dipping in a pond. The guys all grabbed the ladies' underpants and waved then around. My bloody pad was inside of one of them. FML

#21451285
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19898) - you deserved it (10059)

On 08/03/2015 at 11:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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