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Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML

#21224311
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (453) - you deserved it (85)

On 07/29/2014 at 11:49pm - work - by dealtit - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at the beach with a group of friends, including the guy I like. As soon as we got to the beach, I ran toward the water and he chased after me. It was a beautiful moment until I looked back at him, tripped, fell on my face and slid down the beach. FML

#21224233
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1580) - you deserved it (236)

On 07/29/2014 at 10:36pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

#21223797
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19683) - you deserved it (5938)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by fatty magoo - United States (Washington)

mif's comment : It only works if you're Gabriel Iglesias and offering a box of Krispy Kreme.

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Today, I asked my mom why nobody likes me. She reeled off about a dozen reasons. FML

#21223790
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18471) - you deserved it (3974)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to sit through yet another one of my mom's, "You need to grow and gain some weight!" rants. I'm 22 and she doesn't believe me when I tell her I'm done growing. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting past 5'2". FML

#21223478
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26211) - you deserved it (1953)

On 07/29/2014 at 4:27am - misc - by Tiny (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was having coffee with an old friend I hadn't seen since university. I asked about her husband; she replied, "he died" and walked away. I was confused, so I stood up and took off after her. She reminded me I was at the funeral, and then slapped me in the face. FML

#21223464
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12585) - you deserved it (39023)

On 07/29/2014 at 3:58am - misc - by jayswizzle89 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

NinjaDitto623's comment : How do you just forget that?!?!

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Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while I was proposing. FML

#21223358
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32658) - you deserved it (4278)

On 07/28/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by rejected - United States (California)

UnknownUser227's comment : Sounds like she was engaged in her sleep

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Today, while working an early shift, I was dressing a wound on a gorgeous guy, when he laughed and pointed out some granny panties next to me on the floor. I guess I forgot to take yesterday's underwear out of my pants before putting them back on this morning. FML

#21223271
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23172) - you deserved it (6043)

On 07/28/2014 at 4:47pm - work - by dorrisdoes - New Zealand

Today, I had a 5 hour exam. The exam guard had clearly eaten something funky, because she kept burping loudly. When I thought it couldn't get any worse, she started farting. FML

Today, I almost passed out choking in front of my friends, because I was laughing too hard at my own pathetic joke while eating. FML

Today, I met someone who works in radio advertising. Making conversation, I described an ad that I can't stand. He wrote it. FML

#21222884
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27682) - you deserved it (6444)

On 07/28/2014 at 6:16am - work - by Scotty (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I dyed a friend's hair dark brown. She assured me I didn't need gloves as the dye would wash off. It didn't. My shift as a server is in an hour and it looks like I've been working in a tire shop my whole life. Goodbye tips, hello angry customers not wanting me anywhere near their food. FML

#21222740
146 comments

Today, my husband decided to play a recording of me breaking wind in my sleep to my whole family at the dinner table. To make matters worse, it was a compilation of different noises from over a long period of time. My family was horrified and my husband seemed proud of himself. FML

#21222673
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27875) - you deserved it (2772)

On 07/28/2014 at 12:36am - misc - by blow away - United States (New Jersey)



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  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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