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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML

#21261017
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2874) - you deserved it (206)

On 09/18/2014 at 11:15pm - love - by clairebear104 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had a volleyball game, and we were down by 13 points. I looked up at the crowd, and my mom was shaking her head in disappointment. When it was my turn to serve, I aced them, and tied the score. When I looked up she was gone. She'd left. When I got home, I heard how I sucked for an hour. FML

#21260940
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2931) - you deserved it (173)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:56pm - misc - by Lexi801 - United States (Utah)

Today, I got an Economics test back from my professor. I got a 17/20. I looked it over and noticed one of the questions was completely right. I checked the textbook he made and the answer was the same. I asked him why it was wrong, and he responded with, "I guess I changed my mind." FML

#21260926
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3826) - you deserved it (232)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:44pm - misc - by badprofessor - United States (New York)

Today, in astronomy class, a kid used Uranus in a hilarious innuendo. I was the only one who laughed. I also happen to be the teacher. FML

#21260699
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5576) - you deserved it (877)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm - misc - by immature - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I'm so broke that I had to call in sick to work because I couldn't afford to pay my bus fare. FML

#21260606
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18681) - you deserved it (1948)

On 09/18/2014 at 11:38am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, my boyfriend convinced my 4-year-old sister that girls don't poop. She won't stop crying and now thinks she's a freak. FML

#21260556
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17467) - you deserved it (1592)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:16am - kids - by Anonymous - Kenya

Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML

#21260464
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22659) - you deserved it (1998)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

mectain's comment : I'm really truly sorry for that. that's just cold.

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Today, I found out I'm allergic to bug repellent. So instead of having a couple of itchy bug bites, my skin feels like it's on fire and is violently itchy everywhere the repellent has touched. FML

#21260387
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20943) - you deserved it (1560)

On 09/18/2014 at 12:05am - health - by adamwilcockson - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24421) - you deserved it (2661)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Chucks719's comment : But did you say yes?

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Today, I found out that the only girl who's ever called me cute or handsome is actually a compulsive liar. FML

#21260295
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22132) - you deserved it (1673)

On 09/17/2014 at 9:37pm - misc - by compulsiveliarssaytheylikeme - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my wife named our son after her ex-lover. FML

#21260166
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24738) - you deserved it (1795)

On 09/17/2014 at 6:10pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

#21260160
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22797) - you deserved it (2503)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:57pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my friends came over to my house to eat my food and make fun of me as they played on my Xbox. FML

#21260159
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21599) - you deserved it (5314)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:56pm - misc - by iAmJasper - United States (Wisconsin)

thefmljellyfish's comment : Then they're not your real friends

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