Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

Today, I helped an elderly lady put a bookshelf in her car. She then thanked me by hitting me with her car as she drove out of the parking lot. FML

#20736007
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1772) - you deserved it (125)

On 06/19/2013 at 9:09pm - work - by anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 15-year-old daughter got her head stuck under the couch. FML

#20735945
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1685) - you deserved it (196)

On 06/19/2013 at 8:34pm - kids - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the airport when I saw a woman drop her bags and run to her husband. Thinking that someone might steal them, I picked up her bags and brought them over to her. She thanked me by slapping me, calling me a bitch and calling security. FML

#20735913
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2198) - you deserved it (328)

On 06/19/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I caught my 16-year-old daughter and her boyfriend trying to use a latex glove as a condom. FML

#20735858
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3855) - you deserved it (470)

On 06/19/2013 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by whatno - United States (Texas)

Today, at my job at my tattoo parlor, yet another client offered to pay for his tattoo by "letting" me sleep with him. This client happens to be my boyfriend's best friend, whose girlfriend is having me tattoo his name on her wrist next week. FML

#20735377
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24218) - you deserved it (1630)

On 06/19/2013 at 2:46pm - work - by notkatvond (woman) - United States

↑ sweatypandalove's comment : Record him saying it and save her from that huge mistake!

See all the comments →

Today, I have pink eye in both eyes, the stomach virus, and a cold. I'm also sitting at work because my boss "doesn't believe in sick days." FML

#20735203
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24763) - you deserved it (1399)

On 06/19/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by sicksicksick - United States (Pennsylvania)

↑ obnum's comment : I'm pretty sure you have a valid excuse here. Isn't this illegal in some way?

See all the comments →

Today, I won an argument against a sexist co-worker. When I left later on, I jumped into my car to drive home, but managed to reverse it into a parked excavator. Guess who's going to hear virginal jokes about women drivers from now on. FML

#20735108
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17337) - you deserved it (8059)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:18pm - work - by fuck the man-dominated construction business (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my 16 year old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

#20735100
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22745) - you deserved it (1958)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

↑ TheDrifter's comment : True talent. Hide the modeling clay, it might put him in the ICU.

See all the comments →

Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML

#20735044
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30560) - you deserved it (1750)

On 06/19/2013 at 11:29am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my parents decided they are going to come with me on my first date. FML

#20734991
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33119) - you deserved it (2204)

On 06/19/2013 at 10:39am - misc - by Overprotected (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he hasn't been to the dentist in two years and definitely doesn't plan on it because, "That's just how the government steals more money." FML

#20734761
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24480) - you deserved it (3201)

On 06/19/2013 at 3:22am - misc - by RoyallyGrossedOut (woman) - United States

Today, my duty manager demanded we close the bar early because she wanted to go home. I was subject to abuse from customers for closing early, then shouted at by the duty manager for not being done. My actual bar manager fired me for closing early. FML

#20734756
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29022) - you deserved it (2313)

On 06/19/2013 at 3:18am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

#20733893
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26316) - you deserved it (11242)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm - animals - by CatLover<3 - United States (Texas)



Max Grünfeld's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Worst Sisters Ever
  • Growing up with a sister can be a good thing. If you're a guy, it can teach you about girls and how to interact with them so you won't grow up to be a sexist idiot who's afraid of women and who can only…

Monday 17 June 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on:

© 2008-2013 by