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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my parents had a loud argument over who is worse in bed. FML

#21320583
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3535) - you deserved it (225)

On 12/19/2014 at 10:16pm - misc - by cantunhear - United States (New York)

Today, my date mugged me, just minutes after I paid our bill at the restaurant. FML

#21320485
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11356) - you deserved it (725)

On 12/19/2014 at 6:27pm - money - by j4 - United Kingdom

Today, after six long, hard years of involuntary celibacy, I was finally about to get laid. Except it was just a dream, and in it my mom stormed in just as things got heated, called me a useless cunt, and told me to go do my chores. I guess my brain forgot I moved out years ago. FML

#21320480
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9994) - you deserved it (1108)

On 12/19/2014 at 6:14pm - intimacy - by giantblueballsthesizeofjohnnysinscock (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I posted a photo on Facebook showing a side-by-side view of me before and after I'd tried out my new makeup. My dad commented, "What is this, Gollum cosplaying an Orc?" My mum, brother, and over 20 "friends" liked his comment. FML

#21320382
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9519) - you deserved it (1564)

On 12/19/2014 at 2:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I went to the dry-cleaner's and went to get my bag of laundry from my trunk, but I ended up dropping the bag. My dirty underwear blew around the parking lot. I had to chase it all down as a bunch of people looked on. FML

#21320377
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14709) - you deserved it (1696)

On 12/19/2014 at 2:24pm - misc - by embarrassed - United States

Today, my girlfriend tried to convince me that she didn't "technically" cheat on me, because the other guy came on her and not inside her. FML

#21320297
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17254) - you deserved it (1285)

On 12/19/2014 at 11:16am - love - by "technically" my ex-girlfriend - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

muzy's comment : Tell her that you're 'technically' dumping her cheating ass.

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Today, the lady whose son I babysit sent me a text, saying she left a gift for me for all the hard work I've done. I found a beautifully-wrapped box where she said the gift was. It turned out my actual gift was cookies sitting right next to it. FML

Today, I was shocked to notice that my hair has started growing out entirely silver, supposedly due to pregnancy. I'm 19. Apparently, according to my aunt, "It runs in the family." FML

#21320202
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19312) - you deserved it (3764)

On 12/19/2014 at 5:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

frontmanmike's comment : Embrace it. My brother went silver at 15. He made it work for him. The chicks go bananas.

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Today, I got 3 different rejection letters mailed to me from the same college. FML

#21320043
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22685) - you deserved it (1822)

On 12/18/2014 at 11:04pm - misc - by ai_lauren (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I beat my boyfriend in a video game. He promptly dumped me and told me to leave. FML

#21319982
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22624) - you deserved it (2612)

On 12/18/2014 at 9:39pm - love - by I warned him - United States (Georgia)

toxxickittyy's comment : You dodged a bullet, trust me. I dated 2 people on WoW, first was immature like your ex and the second one I ended up marrying. You'll find the gamer of your dreams, keep your head up OP :)

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Today, I found out my girlfriend and all of our friends have begun referring to the time I was meant to lose my virginity, but couldn't get hard, as the "cheese stick incident." They all think it's hilarious, and the worst part is that it's actually a pretty appropriate description. FML

#21319860
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20626) - you deserved it (2561)

On 12/18/2014 at 5:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend jokingly said that if I didn't pass my exam, he wouldn't have sex with me for a month. I failed it, and now he thinks I did it on purpose. FML

#21319715
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23817) - you deserved it (3487)

On 12/18/2014 at 12:59pm - love - by peteto818 (woman) - Bulgaria (Pernik)

Today, I went out to a bar with some of my friends. They're all in committed relationships, but every single one of them got hit on. I'm single, and yet again, nobody even said hi to me. FML

#21319659
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24133) - you deserved it (2423)

On 12/18/2014 at 10:34am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)



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