Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML

#21462289
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (473) - you deserved it (40)

On 08/29/2015 at 8:06pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML

#21462259
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (564) - you deserved it (37)

On 08/29/2015 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, marks the third girlfriend in a row that has broken up with me for my terrible dandruff. I can't control it as I was born with psoriasis. All three girls called me pathetic for "making up" a disease to try to get them to stay. FML

#21462179
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3856) - you deserved it (283)

On 08/29/2015 at 3:20pm - love - by babypenguin00 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was outside talking to my new neighbor. I was gesturing while talking and didn't notice the little kid riding her bike coming our way. I ended up accidentally smacking her in the face and knocking her off her bike. Apparently she's my new neighbor's daughter. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML

#21462173
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3606) - you deserved it (376)

On 08/29/2015 at 3:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was scheduled to fill in at the customer service counter where I work. Today was also the day that I allegedly accused a customer of being a thief, sold her a fraudulent money order, and will be sued for defamation of character. FML

#21462126
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3591) - you deserved it (310)

On 08/29/2015 at 1:13pm - work - by thegrandchawhee - United States (Washington)

Today, I blacked out while hugging my dad. I woke up a minute later on the floor with my dad telling me to, "quit being lazy and get up." FML

#21462123
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3597) - you deserved it (275)

On 08/29/2015 at 1:08pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my mum took away my laptop and my phone and won't let me call, text, or go out with friends for one month. Why? I left the toilet seat up. I'm writing this from a public library. FML

#21462073
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13922) - you deserved it (1804)

On 08/29/2015 at 10:06am - misc - by Lord Buttfuck IV (man) - France

carl_carl_'s comment : Your mom needs to let up. That's ridiculous

See all the comments →

Today, I finished a big painting for art class. It's also the day my little brother decided it didn't have enough puke on it. FML

#21462064
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11940) - you deserved it (851)

On 08/29/2015 at 9:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML

#21462044
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14396) - you deserved it (898)

On 08/29/2015 at 7:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

KeannaLove's comment : I will never understand how people can take suicide so lightly. She sounds like an awful person all around. You're better off OP.

See all the comments →

Today, my doctor died. Last week, after a check up I'd had because I was worried about a cough, he told me not to worry because I was as healthy as he was. FML

#21462016
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17196) - you deserved it (1166)

On 08/29/2015 at 4:50am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

dezman2000's comment : You should follow this FML up in a couple of weeks, just so we know that you didn't follow in your doctor's footsteps.

See all the comments →

Today, I had to explain to my dad how I rear-ended the car in front of me because of a particularly intense banjo solo. FML

#21461958
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8644) - you deserved it (12541)

On 08/29/2015 at 1:09am - misc - by mumfordandsonimdisappointed - United States

Today, I got a phone call letting me know my grandmother was arrested for trying to light my grandpa on fire. She's now in jail, asking for bail money. FML

#21461945
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17016) - you deserved it (970)

On 08/29/2015 at 12:29am - misc - by tkoester - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience. I started to get aggressive and pushed him up against the wall. I forgot our bed was on wheels and the bed started sliding away and his body slid down the wall. So much for being sexy. FML

#21461787
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14778) - you deserved it (2648)

On 08/28/2015 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by still laughing (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: