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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML

#21225439
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1860) - you deserved it (180)

On 07/31/2014 at 1:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got into trouble at work because a customer complained about my face tattoo, I don't have a face tattoo but I do have one behind my ear. Nonetheless, I still got written up and had to cover it with a band-aid, which ripped out hair when I took it off. FML

#21225337
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4300) - you deserved it (1102)

On 07/30/2014 at 11:28pm - work - by heatherfeather22 - United States (Iowa)

Today, my father tripped over the dog and hit a wall. He was so convinced his arm was broken that we waited for 3 hours in emergency to find out he had a bruise. FML

#21225316
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4289) - you deserved it (367)

On 07/30/2014 at 11:12pm - misc - by anon - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML

#21224768
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18893) - you deserved it (1792)

On 07/30/2014 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by WasntWorthIt - United States (New Hampshire)

Danny_Boy12's comment : Atleast he tried....

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Today, I spent six hours at the ER. Why? My husband dared our seventeen-year-old son to recreate a 'Jackass' trolley-hedge diving stunt at the local supermarket. What wasn't on my groceries list was a broken arm, fractured wrist, whiplash and cuts and bruises. FML

#21224521
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25447) - you deserved it (2603)

On 07/30/2014 at 4:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, while out with my boyfriend, I gave a beggar some cash, who then smiled at me and said to my boyfriend, "You have a beautiful little lady, take good care of her." Flattered, I hoped my boyfriend would agree with the compliment. He turned and said, "Hear that? He said you were little." FML

#21224627
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25855) - you deserved it (2575) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/30/2014 at 2:51am - love - by gwengas - France (Bretagne)

awesomeamandas's comment : at least a stranger complimented you. not a complete loss.

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Today, the left side of my head has officially declared its independence. Half of my hair is now curly, the rest is totally flat. FML

#21224614
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24893) - you deserved it (2487) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/30/2014 at 2:51am - misc - by anonyme - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Iwtumn's comment : I would love to see a picture of that.

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Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved him for the first time. The L-word is probably one of the only things I'm scared to say, so what did he do? He stared at me blankly before making a farting noise with his mouth and asking if he could go get Chicken Express for dinner. FML

#21224360
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26070) - you deserved it (2855)

On 07/30/2014 at 12:41am - love - by Humiliated & Heart-Broken - United States (Texas)

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML

#21224311
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23440) - you deserved it (3950)

On 07/29/2014 at 11:49pm - work - by dealtit - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at the beach with a group of friends, including the guy I like. As soon as we got to the beach, I ran toward the water and he chased after me. It was a beautiful moment until I looked back at him, tripped, fell on my face and slid down the beach. FML

#21224233
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25951) - you deserved it (4225)

On 07/29/2014 at 10:36pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

#21223797
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30641) - you deserved it (9690)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by fatty magoo - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked my mom why nobody likes me. She reeled off about a dozen reasons. FML

#21223790
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28511) - you deserved it (6483)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to sit through yet another one of my mom's, "You need to grow and gain some weight!" rants. I'm 22 and she doesn't believe me when I tell her I'm done growing. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting past 5'2". FML

#21223478
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32892) - you deserved it (2633)

On 07/29/2014 at 4:27am - misc - by Tiny (woman) - United States (Nevada)



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Tuesday 22 July 2014

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