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Today, I overheard a conversation between coworkers, during which my name was mentioned, then, "and then I followed her around for a bit, but she didn’t do it again." Everyone laughed. I've no idea what I did that was so funny. FML

#19492319
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20452) - you deserved it (1820)

On 04/18/2012 at 9:15pm - work - by What? (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML

#19409952
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20450) - you deserved it (2917)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:13am - work - by Kait - United States

Today, I went to a job interview at a small family-owned business. After the interview, the owner's son took me into his office and told me I'm not getting the job and to get out, because apparently, the old man thinks I'm "possessed by a demon". FML

#19652325
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20449) - you deserved it (1760)

On 05/20/2012 at 3:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20445) - you deserved it (4714)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a small kid looked at me, screamed in terror, and hid behind his dad. I was just walking down the same aisle in the store. This is far from the first time it's happened. FML

#20051755
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20442) - you deserved it (2710)

On 09/01/2012 at 12:07am - kids - by KidKillah - United States (California)

Today, my dog was licking the dishes in the dishwasher when his collar got stuck on it. Then he got scared of the dishwasher rack following him and ran away really fast. Now I have no dishes. FML

Today, I tried being rebellious for the first time in my life by sneaking out past my curfew. I decided to use my bedroom window to stealthily leave the house. I ended up twisting my ankle when I tried to make my "grand" escape. FML

#21294808
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20438) - you deserved it (26515)

On 11/08/2014 at 3:33pm - health - by thatsureshowedme (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, after going to college for 5 years to become an architect I discover my plumber makes more than I do. FML

#761
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20437) - you deserved it (3052)

On 12/30/2008 at 6:16am - work - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML

#19102650
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20439) - you deserved it (5151)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my roommate decided to turn off all appliances in the house to "save" electricity. This included the refrigerator. FML

#20088101
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20438) - you deserved it (1293)

On 09/25/2012 at 1:13pm - misc - by Jograd - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while my mom was out, my family agreed upon the assumption that she has a "shopping problem." I argued against it for quite a while, until she pulled up minutes later with a what seemed like a life-time supply of canned condensed milk. FML

#13016642
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20436) - you deserved it (4343)

On 09/12/2010 at 7:34am - money - by concernedson - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I took a cough drop to soothe my sore throat, only to choke, gag, and spend the next ten minutes at the point of vomiting because the bitter lozenge got stuck in my windpipe. FML

#13251603
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20438) - you deserved it (3227)

On 09/29/2010 at 5:29pm - health - by bitter cherry - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went on a run. Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog. I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled my ankle and fell. The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up. FML

#20634623
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20437) - you deserved it (69237)

On 05/01/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by luvs2spooge89 - United States (New York)



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