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Today, I was at Target with my mom. After 10 minutes of my mom walking around looking confused, I said, "Mom, what are you looking for? I worked at this place for 4 years, I know where everything is." My mom was looking for KY. FML

#1288
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17841) - you deserved it (2065)

On 01/15/2009 at 6:08pm - misc - by kallens - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she had fantasies about throwing him out a window when he was a baby because she was so depressed and couldn't handle the stress. The worst part is he wants to get married. She'd be my mother-in-law. FML

#1751
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17839) - you deserved it (3218)

On 01/19/2009 at 12:59pm - love - by lovekills99 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my wife told me she had stopped taking her anti-depressants a month ago in hopes of increasing her non-existent sex drive. I asked her if it had helped, and was about to suggest she start taking them again for her own wellbeing. She replied with, "Anyway, I'm just not attracted to you." FML

#6191622
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17836) - you deserved it (2031)

On 11/07/2009 at 2:06am - intimacy - by iMarriedmymother (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was texting my boyfriend, making plans to see him tomorrow. He ended the conversation by saying "I'm changing my sheets tomorrow, so take a shower." FML

#5892198
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17830) - you deserved it (5412)

On 10/19/2009 at 3:26am - intimacy - by Shower? - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was singing in the shower, when some suds from my shampoo fell into my mouth and down my throat. I retched and sputtered for about two minutes before finally throwing up. FML

#20166301
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17824) - you deserved it (6870)

On 11/17/2012 at 3:45am - health - by woman - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my friend posted my phone number all over the Internet, claiming I was a deranged stalker who prank called her. I was calling from my new number to give it to her. FML

#20081331
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17821) - you deserved it (1517)

On 09/20/2012 at 9:39pm - misc - by Emily - United States (California)

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

#20864782
513 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17814) - you deserved it (127742)

On 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, as I couldn't get the airplane seat buckle to buckle, I faced the fact that I've been in denial about how fat I have become. The people in my row faced it too as I began to sob uncontrollably. FML

#15240526
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17811) - you deserved it (31978)

On 03/08/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered that it's an hour and 45 minutes quicker to get the bus to work, rather than the train. I've worked there for six years. FML

#20036934
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17810) - you deserved it (12099)

On 08/23/2012 at 2:15am - work - by ihatemondays - United Kingdom

Today, while I was painting, my little nephew came in and started watching me. I left to clean my brushes. When I came back into the room, my nephew had spilled paint all over the carpet making a rainbow. It took me 5 hours to clean it up. FML

#8205251
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17810) - you deserved it (7182)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:32pm - kids - by ositsranielle - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I forgot to grab toilet paper on the way home from work. Since I don't have a car and all of my friends have plans for Valentine's Day I'm now down to wiping with cotton balls. FML

#19079186
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17795) - you deserved it (7422)

On 02/14/2012 at 8:26pm - health - by no tp (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had sex with a guy. As he was sleeping next to me, I checked his facebook messages and saw that he sent a message to one of his buddies asking what kind of lotion helps get rid of crabs. FML

#4051
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17794) - you deserved it (59595)

On 01/31/2009 at 10:04am - intimacy - by DDD - Sent from mobile version

Today, my husband and I bought a new swing for our front porch. We put it together and sat down to enjoy our accomplishment. 5 minutes into our swing I threw up several times. I have really bad motion sickness, and apparently a swing is no exception. FML

#20074281
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17793) - you deserved it (3077)

On 09/16/2012 at 8:36am - misc - by kacie smith - United States (North Carolina)



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