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Today, the toilet on the top floor of my house burst, soaked the bathroom, and water dripped down into the kitchen and the basement for hours when nobody was home. Eight blowers and a dehumidifier later, the house is about 90 degrees and I can't leave. FML

by wet / 04/23/2011 at 2:33pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I slipped on a crayon a little girl threw on the floor, causing me to drop the tray of water I was carrying, making me spill it all over her. After getting cussed out by her mom, I was fired for making a customer unhappy. FML

by bbbbb / 10/14/2012 at 1:29am / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, my doctor died. Last week, after a check up I'd had because I was worried about a cough, he told me not to worry because I was as healthy as he was. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2015 at 4:50am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health

Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML

by Cupcakes / 04/15/2013 at 1:11am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm spending time with my granny, with whom I'm supposed to live with for a few weeks. I've noticed that she repeats the last word of every sentence I say, and now I'm wondering how it's possible for me to now be so horrible that I want to punch a sweet 92-year-old lady in the head. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2011 at 9:09pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, I struggled through a one hour traffic jam to get to the airport to pick up my dad who was just coming back from an overseas trip. I got there only to find that he had given me the wrong date, and I had to drive home. Best part? I have to do it all over again tomorrow. FML

by Etyl / 11/18/2011 at 5:49am / Indonesia (Jawa Tengah) / Transportation

Today, I got laid off. Why would they lay me off right before the holidays? Because they want to make sure every one else gets a nice holiday bonus. FML

by Anonymous / 11/21/2012 at 11:31pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, my boss reprimanded me in front of the rest of the staff for "not following instructions" because I went to a company meeting. I have the email from him telling me to go to the meeting. He thinks I faked it. Unemployment sucks. FML

by BrokeButSmart / 08/23/2012 at 1:24am / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 2:21pm / Germany (Saarland) / Holidays

Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to break up. But not until after our anniversary tomorrow, because he's already gotten dinner reservations for us. FML

by reserved / 10/22/2012 at 5:01am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my girlfriend is angry with me. We had an argument on how to properly eat an Oreo. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2015 at 4:36pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, we had a school reunion. The guy who bullied me throughout my high school career is now rich and married. I'm broke and single, and he specifically came up to me to point it out. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2015 at 4:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Money

Today, we had customer complaints of a child molester hanging around our restaurant. After confrontation by a manager, he wouldn't leave. I had to be walked to my car after my shift by more than one person because I look 12 and they were afraid for me. I'm almost 19. FML

by ilook12 / 06/23/2015 at 11:23pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work