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Today, I invited a girl I really like to spend the afternoon at my place. Everything went great... with my sister. They became really good friends, and me, well, I tried to alleviate my boredom in front of my computer. FML

#717
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18224) - you deserved it (2184)

On 01/06/2009 at 4:51am - love - by [SiMON] - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend's new favorite TV show is Law and Order SVU. Now after every episode she insists on asking me if I'm sure I wasn't molested as a kid. She's still on the first season. FML

#20123502
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18222) - you deserved it (1435)

On 10/19/2012 at 2:41am - misc - by soprahb - United States

Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML

#19520181
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18219) - you deserved it (4833)

On 04/24/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I fractured my finger setting up a rat trap. FML

#18360025
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18217) - you deserved it (11797)

On 11/26/2011 at 8:51pm - health - by _Oblivion_ - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML

#19305380
7 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18216) - you deserved it (12699)

On 03/19/2012 at 12:59am - kids - by FoodyFood (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I dropped my 400 dollar iphone, that's been through toilets and 6 foot falls, on a walmart floor and shattered the screen. I managed, however, to catch the 2 dollar macaroni and cheese before it hit the ground. FML

#60521
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18214) - you deserved it (28204)

On 02/17/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by noname (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having ice cream and I jokingly asked "What's better? The sex or ice cream?" Apparently I don't pleasure her like Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream does. FML

#4204058
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18214) - you deserved it (43973)

On 08/01/2009 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got married. My new husband wanted to carry me over the threshold of our apartment, but he couldn't pick me up. FML

#10922943
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18211) - you deserved it (27356)

On 06/02/2010 at 5:31pm - health - by Official_Person (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw my picture in an architecture magazine. I'm not an architect. I was walking up a flight of "magnificently built" stairs as my skirt lifted to show an absence of underwear. FML

#17267205
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18211) - you deserved it (34224)

On 07/26/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by crotchshothottie - United States

Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML

#20469405
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18210) - you deserved it (38454)

On 01/20/2013 at 11:34am - animals - by DrakeB (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my friend mentioned a book that reminded her of me, when I asked what it was called she said "He's just not that into you". FML

#2931
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18209) - you deserved it (1840)

On 01/27/2009 at 7:17pm - love - by Oh really - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, it was laundry day. After my fifth and final load, I noticed I never added any laundry detergent. FML

#18239107
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18208) - you deserved it (20053)

On 11/13/2011 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I realised that I only get dandruff when I'm stressed about having dandruff. Which is whenever I have dandruff. FML

#19400366
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18207) - you deserved it (3659)

On 04/03/2012 at 10:16am - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)



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