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Today, I went to the bank to get a temporary debit card since I lost my wallet a week ago. On my drive across the street from the bank to the DMV a car slammed into mine at the intersection, nearly totaling my car. The movie theater I went to last week just called and said they'd found my wallet. FML

#13957675
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21739) - you deserved it (3045)

On 11/24/2010 at 2:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got into a fight with my girlfriend. After yelling and arguing my point, my cat got up and jumped up next to her on the bed. He sat down, and they both glared at me until I left. FML

#20189474
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21736) - you deserved it (3866)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my girlfriend I have only one testicle. Her reaction? "Eeew, balls are gross!" I'm glad to know I'm only half as gross as other guys. FML

#5463165
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21735) - you deserved it (2961)

On 09/25/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by lone_ranger (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was directing a video shoot of a big Christmas show with 750 people attending. After the first half of the show recorded; during intermission, I accidentally deleted the show as people were signing up to buy the DVD. FML

#14102219
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21736) - you deserved it (15226)

On 12/06/2010 at 12:00am - work - by kermudgen - United States

Today, my friends happily announced that although they had been cut, they were still going to be playing on the school's volleyball team. The rumor going around is that everyone who tried out made the team. I never got a call back. FML

#17652760
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21735) - you deserved it (2574)

On 09/03/2011 at 12:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went with my boyfriend to the optometrist for him to buy contact lenses for the first time. He said the detail was much better than glasses. I excitedly asked him if he could see my freckles better now, and after a long and disappointed look at my face, he said "Nope, just more acne." FML

#19580069
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21736) - you deserved it (3323)

On 05/06/2012 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, despite the fact that I'm really sick, my mom insisted that I come home and help babysit my cousins this weekend. When I got there, everyone else took off to do "errands," leaving me with three hyperactive, howler monkey-like children to deal with. FML

#19467974
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21734) - you deserved it (2446)

On 04/14/2012 at 6:19pm - kids - by Rory - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML

#20167650
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21734) - you deserved it (3034)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:45am - love - by jasmith - United States (Texas)

Today, in the locker room at work, someone tried writing "douche bag" on my locker, and misspelled it four times before apparently giving up. FML

#19255450
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21733) - you deserved it (1842)

On 03/11/2012 at 1:39am - work - by The Last One (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while watching The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh with my 5 year old, I realized why the kangaroo's name is Kanga, and why her son's name is Roo. Kanga-Roo. Get it? Yeah. I didn't until today. I'm 47. FML

#3430057
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21730) - you deserved it (49183)

On 07/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by slightlyslow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I spent 30 minutes listening to my grandmother telling us that my cat is a medium. My boyfriend is totally convinced. FML

#14583588
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21731) - you deserved it (3055)

On 01/14/2011 at 11:24pm - animals - by inchetogb - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sends a text to one of his "friends" saying "I'm thinking of you". FML

#1878
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21728) - you deserved it (1925)

On 01/20/2009 at 11:20am - love - by Wolf - Trinidad and Tobago (Saint George)

Today, my husband and I went to my overbearing mom's 57th birthday party. He opened his gift in front of her and said smugly, "The makeup's for your face, and the prayer book's for the fat rolls." Any hope of family peace is now lost. FML

#18414489
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21730) - you deserved it (3192)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:35pm - love - by bad blood, no shit (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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