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Today, I got the last clean bowl out of the cupboard for a bowl of cereal. After I had finished, my family asked me if I had cleaned it first. It turns out that that specific bowl is apparently the dog's, and everyone just puts it back after feeding him. FML

#21447917
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26245) - you deserved it (5194)

On 07/27/2015 at 5:25am - misc - by NoOrdinaryNZer - New Zealand (Bay of Plenty)

Today, my sister presented me with an "official pet killer" award after yet another goldfish under my care died of unknown causes. FML

#15485596
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26243) - you deserved it (9754)

On 03/25/2011 at 5:52pm - animals - by fish killer - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband used our last $2000 to buy himself a motorcycle. It's supposed to "save us a lot on gas money." FML

#17694243
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26243) - you deserved it (3086)

On 09/08/2011 at 1:36am - money - by julesmommy - United States (Washington)

Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML

#19627538
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26244) - you deserved it (8249)

On 05/15/2012 at 3:02pm - misc - by FML (woman) - Finland

Today, my boyfriend and I went mini golfing with his family. We had a competition going on, and when I managed to get two consecutive holes in one, he started seething and muttered that I'm dangerously close to becoming single. FML

#19652024
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26241) - you deserved it (2962)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:20pm - misc - by Jacquelinez (woman) - United States

Today, I was trying to apply some toothpaste on my pimple to help dry it out. My mum came from behind and hugged me, making me accidentally apply minty toothpaste into my right eye instead. FML

#13194078
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26240) - you deserved it (4514)

On 09/25/2010 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

#18507550
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26240) - you deserved it (7665)

On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband and I got into a fight because I refused to let him use my finger nail to clean the plaque off his teeth. FML

#19241359
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26241) - you deserved it (2839)

On 03/08/2012 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I met a guy while out with some friends. He kept blowing up his cheeks, so I did it back to him and asked him why he did it. He pulled out a card from his wallet and pointed at it. It was a card saying he may have speech or facial difficulties because he had a stroke when he was 12. FML

#19454925
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26241) - you deserved it (13577)

On 04/12/2012 at 9:47am - misc - by Holls (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, while at the urinal doing my business, my trousers fell all the way to the ground. As I bent down to pull them back up, my boss walked in the bathroom and thought I was mooning him. FML

#14702634
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26239) - you deserved it (3591)

On 01/24/2011 at 9:33pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that I won't be able to attend my own wedding, because I'll be in a mandatory training class that doesn't allow people to take vacation for any reason. So now we've wasted $10,000, and I can't even fly home for one day. All because I got promoted unexpectedly. FML

#21461761
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26238) - you deserved it (2099)

On 08/28/2015 at 4:05pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Friuli-Venezia Giulia)

Today, after a 4 or 5 month-long dry spell, I woke up next to an amazing and beautiful woman. Neither of us were wearing pants. She looked me in the eyes and said, "Did I piss the bed?" FML

#21448401
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26237) - you deserved it (3153)

On 07/28/2015 at 2:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized why you should never wear a thong under yoga pants that are a couple of sizes too small. It's a weird thing, seeing your co-worker's anus. FML

#21344664
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26236) - you deserved it (2919)

On 01/26/2015 at 6:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)



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