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Today, my roommate let me know he "bumped" another car with mine. What he really meant was that I need a new rear quarter panel and the very angry BMW driver he hit has all of my information. FML

#13061135
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23477) - you deserved it (3540)

On 09/15/2010 at 12:52pm - misc - by Ah piss - United States (New York)

Today, I walked into my house with my friend, only to discover my husband half-naked and yelling at the TV screen over a soccer game. By half-naked, I mean he was only wearing a shirt. FML

#20169569
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23473) - you deserved it (2526)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, on my first day of work, my new boss treated me to lunch. Thinking she was really nice, I thanked her for the treat. She fixed me with a cold, unsmiling stare and said, "Oh, don't thank me. I'm being paid to do this." FML

#13967011
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23473) - you deserved it (2288)

On 11/24/2010 at 9:32pm - work - by niceboss (woman) - Singapore

Today, while at training with several of my co-workers, I realized I was the only woman. The only thing one of them said to me the entire day was "DUDE!" while staring at my chest as I took my coat off in the morning. FML

#14558883
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23472) - you deserved it (3444)

On 01/12/2011 at 9:15pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was in a cinema watching a movie to review in the local paper. Suddenly, the guy behind me leans in and starts whispering and hissing "Do it... Do... It. DO IT" for the rest of the movie. I'm still not sure what he wanted me to do, but he did smell of vomit and had a tea-cosy on his head. FML

#17338822
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23472) - you deserved it (2433)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:43am - work - by Username - Australia

Today, I received a bouquet of flowers. I thought they might be from my crush, so I excitedly opened the card. It was from my druggie ex-boyfriend, who apparently can't move on with his life even after three years. The contents of the card? "Baby, I got you like a habit, and I can't give you up". FML

#8250207
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23471) - you deserved it (3275)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:52pm - love - by RosesAreRed (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he feels empty inside when I'm not in the kitchen. This is the most romantic thing he has said to me in the past two years. FML

#18804066
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23471) - you deserved it (5910)

On 01/14/2012 at 9:31am - love - by iheartmorons - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my 27 year old boyfriend chose playing with Lego over making sweet love to me. FML

#19363269
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23469) - you deserved it (10385)

On 03/28/2012 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I caught my dad eating the dog treats I'd bought for my dog. The only thing he could say was "These are really good, no wonder the dog is so obedient. Wanna try one?" FML

#13684464
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23467) - you deserved it (3258)

On 11/02/2010 at 3:13am - animals - by treats - Singapore

Today, I waited in line at Subway. There were two people in front of me. The first lady had seven sandwiches and the second lady had four. So after patiently waiting, I ordered my sandwich, only to have my credit card declined. FML

#13453945
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23465) - you deserved it (11274)

On 10/15/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by bcf1234 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the mall got evacuated while I was getting my hair colored. I am now standing outside of a crowded mall, wearing a showercap. FML

#19833601
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23465) - you deserved it (2705)

On 06/23/2012 at 11:11am - misc - by tylah - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend and I were in bed. She slipped her hand under the duvet, and I got all excited thinking she was going to give me a hand job. She was actually pulling out her wedgie. FML

#19416403
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23462) - you deserved it (9620)

On 04/06/2012 at 7:10am - intimacy - by TJ - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was sitting on the bus and as I'm quite short my legs were dangling. Some guy, who wasn't looking where he was going, tripped over my foot and went flying. He and everyone else on the bus glared at me like it was deliberate. The man next to me even changed seats in disgust. FML

#19138227
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23461) - you deserved it (2931)

On 02/22/2012 at 10:53am - misc - by Whoopsie - United States



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