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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I realized that I can tell how long it has been since I have been with a guy, by the length of my leg hair. FML

#17941193
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22047) - you deserved it (12121)

On 10/09/2011 at 4:30am - misc - by glitterzebra - United States (Colorado)

Today, I met my boyfriend's grandma for the first time. Trying to make a good impression, I offered to wash the dishes. I accidentally broke the faucet. FML

#19994302
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22047) - you deserved it (3217)

On 07/31/2012 at 10:28am - misc - by gmd05 (woman) - United States

Today, my new neighbor informed me with great relish that the house I have just bought is haunted because 30 years ago a man shot himself in the kitchen. I'm now paying a huge mortgage on a house I'm frightened to be alone in. FML

#17104871
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22046) - you deserved it (8288)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:59am - misc - by Boo (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML

#19484961
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22047) - you deserved it (1677)

On 04/17/2012 at 4:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I realised my dad speaks to me the same way he speaks to my dog when she's done something bad. FML

#13459944
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22045) - you deserved it (3128)

On 10/15/2010 at 3:35pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I moved back home after unsuccessfully trying to find work in Florida, despite living there for nine months. About 45 minutes into my 18-hour drive home, a TV station called me to offer me a job interview. I applied for that job over three months ago. FML

#19883197
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22045) - you deserved it (2034)

On 07/02/2012 at 10:22pm - work - by deweyd8855 - United States

Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML

#3602440
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22041) - you deserved it (53214)

On 07/09/2009 at 2:21am - health - by Fattypatty (man) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally sprayed some perfume in my eye. After rinsing said burning eye with water for a few minutes, I half-blindly grabbed the eyedrops my sister left on the counter and used some. They were actually tea tree oil drops. Ouch. FML

#20014690
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22035) - you deserved it (4936)

On 08/11/2012 at 2:21am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad came to pick me up. It would have been nicer if he'd had his clothes on. FML

#19476340
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22034) - you deserved it (1632)

On 04/16/2012 at 12:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my friend joked to my co-workers that my kitty-cat of a husband was going to beat me for spending $200 on shoes. Later on, my rather large dog was so excited to see me when I walked in the door, he split my lip. Somehow, I don't think they'll believe me when I get to the office tomorrow. FML

#20150093
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22035) - you deserved it (2884)

On 11/06/2012 at 4:32am - work - by iLuvsIt (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been seeing another girl behind my back. The kicker is that he told her I was his lazy sister and had just moved in. FML

#20093138
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22033) - you deserved it (1759)

On 09/29/2012 at 1:38am - love - by thatonegirl.SBS. - United States (California)

Today, it's the last day of my sign language class. At the end of the class, my teacher surprised us by speaking for the first time, also surprising everyone that she wasn't actually deaf. It wouldn't have been so bad had I not just given someone an answer to the test, thinking she couldn't hear me. FML

Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML

#30273
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22032) - you deserved it (50102)

On 02/12/2009 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Evil_Egbert (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

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  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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