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Today, after five months of not working, I have a check waiting for me at the office. Too bad the office is in another city. My gas tank is empty, and I have no money to put gas in my car. FML

#8643588
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24663) - you deserved it (3416)

On 02/25/2010 at 5:29pm - money - by arirx12 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a restaurant where the host is an attractive guy with only one arm. I was with my family, so I didn't want to be too obvious when checking him out. It seems like I was, though, because he came over and told me it was rude to stare at his arm. FML

#21436059
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24664) - you deserved it (3768)

On 07/03/2015 at 9:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked my mother if she thought my cat was getting fat. She replied "It's not the cat you should worry about". FML

#5051
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24662) - you deserved it (5167)

On 02/01/2009 at 10:22pm - animals - by mikep - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, while taking pills for a headache, I threw my head back to help get the pills down, and in the process, whacked it against the brick windowsill behind me. FML

#18071485
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24661) - you deserved it (14713)

On 10/25/2011 at 11:00am - health - by Michael - Australia

Today, while taking a slow night at my waitressing job, I thought I heard the sound of crying coming from the kitchen. I rushed in, thinking something terrible had happened. Nope, the bus boy was just watching porn on his phone with no headphones. FML

#21429840
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24661) - you deserved it (1678)

On 06/21/2015 at 11:08pm - intimacy - by koanroak - United States (Texas)

Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML

#8031607
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24660) - you deserved it (4989)

On 02/08/2010 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by unsatisfied - Sent from mobile version

Today, I fell asleep while working the night shift. It took me 3 hours and a whole lot of dirty looks while walking home before I looked in a mirror and saw my cockbite of a coworker had drawn a swastika on my forehead while I was asleep. FML

#21406740
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24659) - you deserved it (7110)

On 05/08/2015 at 11:44am - work - by pop, pop (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been seeing another girl behind my back. The kicker is that he told her I was his lazy sister and had just moved in. FML

#20093138
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24657) - you deserved it (1981)

On 09/29/2012 at 1:38am - love - by thatonegirl.SBS. - United States (California)

Today, it was my first day at work as a cashier. I was so nervous that my whole body got numb and my eye sight completely blurred. I ran to the bathroom blind while bumping into everything in the store, making sure that everyone knew I had a problem. FML

#14905447
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24653) - you deserved it (7167)

On 02/09/2011 at 2:32am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was confronted by my father after I got back home from a party in the early hours. He demanded to know if I'd been doing any drugs, and then decided to give me a scare lecture on the dangers of alcohol. I'd had a few beers. He had the smell of tequila on his breath. FML

#17874555
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24652) - you deserved it (4741)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, on more than one occasion, I was mistaken for my boyfriend's mother, by his own family. FML

#19998610
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24651) - you deserved it (2352)

On 08/02/2012 at 3:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I gave a homeless man my last bit of spare change so he could get on the bus. Just as I was about to get on too, I realized I'd lost my bus card. I had to get off the bus and watch as the man waved at me through the window. FML

#20192452
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24650) - you deserved it (2883)

On 12/05/2012 at 3:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a guy asked me out on Facebook, then called me a conceited bitch when I said no. I don't know, dude; maybe it's just that I already have a boyfriend, that you asked me out on Facebook, and that you posted the same message on 4 other girls' walls as well. FML

#21457386
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24651) - you deserved it (1563)

On 08/17/2015 at 11:39pm - misc - by sonice (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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