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Today, my mother had 'the talk' with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML

#5784290
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20410) - you deserved it (1875)

On 10/11/2009 at 9:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him, saying that the only thing he would change about me is my last name. I later told him that I wanted to keep my last name after the marriage. I'm now single again. FML

#19624313
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20408) - you deserved it (38600)

On 05/14/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by singleagain (woman) - United States

Today, I tried to send my boyfriend a sexy picture. I took a close up picture of my face, and, trying to be sexy, had my naked body reflected on a mirror in the background. First thing he says: "Who the hell is that guy in the background?" FML

#6596856
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20407) - you deserved it (6097)

On 12/04/2009 at 7:48am - intimacy - by Not-so-sexy - United States (Washington)

Today, I noticed the woman I've been sleeping with for over 2 years never lets me see her naked during sex. I confronted her about it and she replied, "I don't care if you see me naked. I was just leaving the lights off the whole time so I don't have to see you naked." FML

#7147698
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20406) - you deserved it (3842)

On 01/04/2010 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by audied (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm being admitted to the hospital for severe exhaustion. Why am I exhausted? For spending 12 hours at the hospital while my sister gave birth. The same hospital I'm being admitted to. FML

#17810811
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20405) - you deserved it (5312)

On 09/23/2011 at 1:47am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was on a webcam with my friend. We were joking around so I stood up and flashed her. Her grandma choose that second to walk past and look at the screen. Her grandma now thinks were lesbians and that I'm a whore. FML

#416306
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20404) - you deserved it (70094)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by webcammistake (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized just how bad my 28-year-old husband's gamer rage is when I came home to a smashed TV. This is the second TV in three months that he's destroyed. FML

#20080513
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20403) - you deserved it (3799)

On 09/20/2012 at 8:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML

#12959324
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20401) - you deserved it (30024)

On 09/08/2010 at 2:53am - intimacy - by dom - United States

Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious bacon. FML

#2379
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20397) - you deserved it (1882)

On 01/23/2009 at 7:22pm - misc - by raybandy - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

#20566988
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20398) - you deserved it (51130)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, I was kicked out of my review lecture at community college, for "being a disturbance and refusing to stop whistling." I wasn't even given a chance to explain that I have a cold. FML

#19382867
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20394) - you deserved it (2065)

On 03/31/2012 at 2:53pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend complained that we may not work out because I'm "just too needy". I'd woken up early and texted him "good morning" while he was trying to sleep. FML

#9047626
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20393) - you deserved it (9005)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:10pm - love - by bumblebee (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to blow up an air mattress using only my lungs. After nearly passing out from lack of oxygen, I realized there was a hole in it. FML

#16454876
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20393) - you deserved it (25857)

On 06/01/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by ven980 - United States (Oklahoma)



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