Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was sitting on the bus and as I'm quite short my legs were dangling. Some guy, who wasn't looking where he was going, tripped over my foot and went flying. He and everyone else on the bus glared at me like it was deliberate. The man next to me even changed seats in disgust. FML

#19138227
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23461) - you deserved it (2931)

On 02/22/2012 at 10:53am - misc - by Whoopsie - United States

Today, at the age of 57, my dad got a unicorn tattooed on his shoulder. FML

#20120590
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23460) - you deserved it (3947) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/17/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous - France (Bretagne)

Today, I asked my dad if I was a planned baby. He asked me if the crazy drunken party he and my mom had nine months prior to my birth counted. FML

#17441742
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23461) - you deserved it (4701)

On 08/11/2011 at 4:11pm - misc - by Michael tee - United States (Colorado)

Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML

#19177249
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23459) - you deserved it (2613)

On 02/27/2012 at 7:37pm - misc - by Username (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML

#20488708
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23458) - you deserved it (36195)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Master Debater (man) - Australia

Today, while taking a slow night at my waitressing job, I thought I heard the sound of crying coming from the kitchen. I rushed in, thinking something terrible had happened. Nope, the bus boy was just watching porn on his phone with no headphones. FML

#21429840
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23462) - you deserved it (1646)

On 06/21/2015 at 11:08pm - intimacy - by koanroak - United States (Texas)

Today, I scratched my cornea and have to wear a large bandage covering my eye. I'm off today, but I'll probably have to wear it to school tomorrow. FML

#756
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23456) - you deserved it (5415)

On 11/12/2008 at 10:01pm - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, after finalizing my divorce, I decided to go out with a guy I had been ogling for months, after much anticipation and a few rounds of drinks at the bar, I was ready to roll. Much to my disappointment, his penis was so small the condom wouldn't stay on. FML

#8741180
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23457) - you deserved it (7574)

On 03/01/2010 at 2:30am - intimacy - by Lovejunkie (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I asked my kids how much they loved me. My seven year old responded, 'I'll love you forever mummy.' My sixteen year old responded, 'Can you wind down the window, I just farted.' FML

#6727065
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23456) - you deserved it (12381)

On 12/12/2009 at 8:29pm - kids - by ljjprchf (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were downtown when he pointed to a girl and said he wished I dressed more like she did. She was obviously a hooker. FML

#21424409
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23457) - you deserved it (2093)

On 06/11/2015 at 10:37am - love - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I'm at home, sick with walking pneumonia and a raging UTI. Every time I cough, I piss myself. I'm now having to lie on a bath towel and garbage bags until the meds kick in. FML

#20145285
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23452) - you deserved it (1500)

On 11/03/2012 at 1:34am - health - by jdch_99 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I fell down the stairs. Lying on my back in extreme pain, I called my mom for help. When she came over, she said I looked like a dead bug, took a picture and posted it on Facebook. FML

#20118333
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23452) - you deserved it (2127)

On 10/15/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Bug (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was transporting liquor between stores for work. A car pulled out and cut me off, causing me to slam on my brakes. My car stopped. The 200 dollars-worth of booze did not. FML

#18859567
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23449) - you deserved it (3030)

On 01/20/2012 at 3:23am - work - by LiquorChick (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: