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Today, I took my mom to Victoria's Secret to help her find a bra. She made me try one on to see if it looked good on me. Turns out we have the same cup size. I'm a guy. FML

#17080127
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20054) - you deserved it (47768)

On 07/12/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by sm702 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

#3711192
369 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20053) - you deserved it (82072)

On 07/13/2009 at 5:17am - intimacy - by air (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML

#697920
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20050) - you deserved it (69017)

On 03/30/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Mark (man) - United States

Today, I had to give a speech but I wasn't prepared. I decided to give it anyway. While giving the speech, I got so nervous I passed out. FML

#8770202
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20050) - you deserved it (7759)

On 03/02/2010 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was on the train ride home from a trip to Florida, and I gave my mom a call. While we talked, I made an offhand comment that all my friends back home must miss me. She knowingly asked if I meant my Sims and my cat. FML

#19314289
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20046) - you deserved it (4658)

On 03/20/2012 at 3:15pm - misc - by lyla - United States

Today, I was lying on the sofa when the phone rang. I jumped up to answer in time. I knocked over my laptop, and kicked my guitar into a glass causing it to smash. It was a wrong number. FML

#14534217
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20044) - you deserved it (10121)

On 01/10/2011 at 3:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Isle of Man

Today, I was leaving my friends' apartment in my mom's car and I backed into a fire hydrant. I lied and told my mom it was a hit and run. So she called the apartment complex. They had me on video hitting the fire hydrant. FML

#20824837
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20041) - you deserved it (53726)

On 08/07/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by why me?? - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had to shave my feet in order to wear ballet flats. I'm not a hobbit. FML

#20037324
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20038) - you deserved it (3006)

On 08/23/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by fet (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

#820879
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20038) - you deserved it (257851)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by funnyguyNOT (man) - United States

Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML

#4299524
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20037) - you deserved it (41269)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was getting changed in front of my room mate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML

#5094881
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20037) - you deserved it (52885)

On 09/07/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by EyesOffMe (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. About 2 hours later, he got to hold my hair while I puked, also for the first time. FML

#19312067
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20035) - you deserved it (6181)

On 03/20/2012 at 1:49am - love - by notsober - United States

Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML

#20056463
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20035) - you deserved it (2712)

On 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by weave9z (man) - Canada (Quebec)



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