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Today, I though it would be funny to go on my boyfriend's facebook to change his status. While in the process, his account received a message. Turns out he's planning on hooking up with his ex girlfriend/one of my friends and is definitely over me. How's that for snooping around? FML

#6132995
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22890) - you deserved it (33751)

On 11/03/2009 at 9:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at school I pulled my bicep muscle arm wrestling. I lost. He was 14. I'm the 23 year old security guard. FML

#13657321
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22890) - you deserved it (9062)

On 10/31/2010 at 12:06am - work - by Disappointed - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband invited his boss and his wife to dinner. During the meal, I tasted the wine and apologised for its bad quality, somewhat annoyed: "Dont drink that, I'll go and look for another bottle." Unfortunately, it was our guests who had brought the wine in question. FML

#416
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22889) - you deserved it (9379)

On 11/29/2008 at 11:11am - misc - by Buzz - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to a 'haunted' theme park, actors had been trying to scare me the whole night. I was waiting by an outdoor heater for my friend when a hand came out of nowhere close to my face. I screamed at the top of my lungs, but it was only some chick wanting to warm her hands by the heater. FML

#5987290
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22887) - you deserved it (6572)

On 10/25/2009 at 4:54am - misc - by mack (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized that I have completely fallen for this incredible guy, and that I am really looking forward to where our relationship will take us. He just informed me that he will be doing jail time following his court date Tuesday. FML

#7218409
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22887) - you deserved it (5151)

On 01/08/2010 at 3:06pm - love - by brokenrelicslost (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked in on my daughter attempting to iron her pants with a hair straightener. She's 17. FML

#19590770
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22886) - you deserved it (5797)

On 05/08/2012 at 2:08am - kids - by SomePeoplesKids - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

#20174725
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22885) - you deserved it (3147)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to apply some toothpaste on my pimple to help dry it out. My mum came from behind and hugged me, making me accidentally apply minty toothpaste into my right eye instead. FML

#13194078
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22883) - you deserved it (4157)

On 09/25/2010 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, my Dad's banjo arrived, as part of his mid-life crisis. It would be fine if he could play it but unfortunately he's tone deaf. He hasn't stopped playing it for the last 4 hours. FML

#17927244
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22883) - you deserved it (2273)

On 10/07/2011 at 11:09am - misc - by anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my girlfriend got her wisdom teeth removed. I really want to help her out while she recovers, but her swollen cheeks combined with her natural buck teeth keep making me crack up every time I see her. I can't help it and I'm now in the doghouse. FML

#21360286
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22882) - you deserved it (29038)

On 02/21/2015 at 9:20am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML

#19962660
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22880) - you deserved it (1820)

On 07/20/2012 at 3:58am - misc - by Grrr (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I called the landlord about the mouse I keep seeing in my kitchen. He wasted no time accusing me of keeping it as a pet, and went off on me about his "no pets" policy. FML

#19781168
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22878) - you deserved it (1634)

On 06/13/2012 at 8:29am - misc - by brokeass - United States

Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects. FML

#20070030
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22878) - you deserved it (2117)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:37am - misc - by Sprtsgeek13 - United States (Maine)



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