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Today, as I was walking home from work, I became the victim of a drive-by peanutting. Yes, apparently I'm only worth a bag of nuts. FML

#19341181
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17773) - you deserved it (2191)

On 03/24/2012 at 9:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going really well until I noticed a bug on my interviewer's lower neck. I shouted that something really disgusting was crawling on him. It turns out it was his big hairy mole. FML

#1125126
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17769) - you deserved it (55482)

On 04/19/2009 at 5:52pm - work - by Crunchy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were sitting downstairs with my mom. We heard the dog running around upstairs and called it down. It came running down the stairs. With a used condom in its mouth. The same condom my girlfriend and I lost two weeks ago. It put it directly in my mom's hands. FML

#6356025
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17769) - you deserved it (7461)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:35pm - intimacy - by Tucker (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML

#19962934
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17769) - you deserved it (25964)

On 07/20/2012 at 6:20am - kids - by great - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, while waiting for a bus, someone started smoking at the bus shelter, which is illegal in my city. I politely asked him to stop smoking, citing the city ordinance. He just cackled and said that if I'm so concerned about the state of my health, I should start by losing 90 pounds. FML

#19749863
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17768) - you deserved it (34201)

On 06/07/2012 at 1:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was riding the subway when a beautiful topless girl walked into my car and sat directly in front of me. Then, the train stopped abruptly and I banged my head. The girl was gone and I realized it had all been a dream. Then I realized I was supposed to get off 17 stops ago. FML

#12544003
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17765) - you deserved it (37232)

On 08/15/2010 at 6:31pm - intimacy - by Peekaman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, on the brink of a stiflingly hot summer, I've come to a terrible realisation. It seems the apartment I've just moved into has been specially insulated to trap enough heat inside for the occupants to survive the planet's next Ice Age. FML

#19678999
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17758) - you deserved it (2010)

On 05/25/2012 at 3:55pm - misc - by Broon (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML

#16074104
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17756) - you deserved it (40220)

On 05/07/2011 at 12:46am - love - by littlegirl - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, someone I used to know got in touch with me, after I hadn't heard from him in years. He insisted that we met up as soon as possible, and wanted me to go to his house that afternoon. I spent the afternoon repairing his computer. Since then, no news. FML

#617
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17747) - you deserved it (2264)

On 12/28/2008 at 4:50am - misc - by maxiflouf - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got a haircut and the first thing the lady asked was "so do you want to keep the mullet?". What mullet?! FML

#3797
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17747) - you deserved it (4266)

On 01/30/2009 at 2:06pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Virginia)

Today, while in bed with my game obsessed girlfriend, she told me I was a "noob" in bed. FML

#8455591
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17745) - you deserved it (5746)

On 02/19/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I had to walk home from school in the rain, because my mom "didn't have a car to pick me up in". But when I got home, the car had magically appeared. Just great. FML

#2319
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17742) - you deserved it (1862)

On 01/23/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by blahmina - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I were having sex in the shower while our 5-year old was sleeping. Apparently, she wasn't sleeping and she asked me what those loud noises were. I told her I was singing. Now I can't get her to stop "singing" in the shower. FML

#3058885
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17744) - you deserved it (56006)

On 06/20/2009 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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