Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to a river near my house. They have several swing ropes that you grab and then jump into the river. As I was about to let go of the rope, my leg got tangled and I was held underwater. My mom watched and laughed for a while before she came to help me. FML

#19585555
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19567) - you deserved it (2549)

On 05/07/2012 at 1:25am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom needed coffee so I drove to Starbucks to get her some. She let me drive the Porsche, which has never happened. Upon coming home I picked the coffee up out of the cupholder so it wouldnt spill. My phone vibrated in my pocket, I spilled the coffee and crashed the car into the garage. FML

#218369
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19566) - you deserved it (58426)

On 03/05/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by cane - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I started my new job as the only IT tech for my office. My first task: untangling the hundred mice the previous tech tied together for "fun". FML

#20150513
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19564) - you deserved it (1391)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I ate brunch at my in-laws. The food all tasted off to me so I didn't eat much, telling my mother-in-law I was watching my weight. Later on, while out doing a bit of shopping, I stopped at a red light. Guess who pulled up next to me while I was scarfing a fast food burger. FML

#20405883
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19559) - you deserved it (26073)

On 12/18/2012 at 5:02pm - misc - by drkate25 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, the love of my life sent me a text saying "touch my pork". Somehow I don't think my feelings are mutual. FML

#9181615
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19557) - you deserved it (3767)

On 03/18/2010 at 6:24am - intimacy - by burgeee - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I moved out of my apartment by the highway and airport, and into a new place below people who blast loud music, stomp their feet, and slam doors throughout the night. I haven't had a decent night's sleep in over a year. FML

Today, for the second week in a row, my brother woke me up in the small hours of the morning begging me to help him figure out the math problem to turn off his phone's stupid-ass app alarm. FML

#20115354
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19557) - you deserved it (1578)

On 10/13/2012 at 6:25pm - misc - by fucking fratricidal (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I went out to lunch with two friends from high school. We saw a girl that we graduated with at the restaurant. The girl gave both of them hugs and introduced herself to me. FML

#748
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19552) - you deserved it (1672)

On 01/07/2009 at 10:42am - misc - by bex - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my doctor asked for a urine sample. It's the first time I've tried to cup my own pee. Despite the fact that I'm a woman, I managed to aim wrong, and sprayed the floor, hit the door and my handbag with my own pee. FML

#17584076
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19551) - you deserved it (14590)

On 08/26/2011 at 5:09am - health - by goldengirl - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML

#19479496
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19550) - you deserved it (5083)

On 04/16/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by orangechicken (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, in an attempt to save money on waxing, I bought veet hair removal cream. I also discovered it has the same effect on carpets. Now I have to pay for a replacement. So much for saving money. FML

#11559834
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19550) - you deserved it (12236)

On 06/30/2010 at 5:39am - misc - by charlotte273 - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I had to tell my super-conservative parents that I had just gone to visit the boyfriend I'm not supposed to have so that I could tell him I am pregnant. FML

#113556
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19548) - you deserved it (50965)

On 02/23/2009 at 1:28pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML

#13754540
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19548) - you deserved it (5916)

On 11/07/2010 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: