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Today, while on a vacation, I tried to step out of myself and flirt with this boy who I thought was cute. He was going along with it and nodding so I thought it was working. Then he opened his mouth and I realized he didn't speak English. FML

#6441496
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23931) - you deserved it (6015)

On 11/25/2009 at 1:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up lying on the ground outside with a horrible headache. I camped out in my tree house last night. FML

#6710619
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23930) - you deserved it (9232)

On 12/11/2009 at 4:55pm - misc - by B-Man (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my family and I were discussing my birthday in a couple weeks. As they asked what I wanted, I told them it was up to them. So my mother suggested that she'll get me electrolysis so I wouldn't have to worry about my mustache in college. FML

#6650801
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23931) - you deserved it (4443)

On 12/07/2009 at 2:18pm - love - by sexyyy (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML

#20011526
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23930) - you deserved it (6135)

On 08/09/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by mary - United Kingdom

Today, it's my sixth day taking care of my family's seven animals while my parents are in Singapore. So far, I've emergency-called the vet twice, taken a dog to the vet once, and cleaned up liquid dog shit five times. FML

#20197436
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23928) - you deserved it (2604)

On 12/09/2012 at 8:18am - animals - by KennyDidIt - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got a Brazilian wax in anticipation of becoming intimate for the first time this weekend with a man I have dated for a few weeks. I'm so sore it hurts just to walk. FML

#21424841
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23927) - you deserved it (6774)

On 06/12/2015 at 2:50am - intimacy - by Pattie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got stuck in the snow in the middle of street. As I was just beginning to get myself unstuck, the snow plow came by and buried the front end of my car. FML

#6671880
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23926) - you deserved it (1820)

On 12/08/2009 at 10:03pm - misc - by HoHoSnow (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, after getting off work from a horrible 16 hour shift, I went out to my truck. My windows were completely covered in window chalk, to the point that I couldn't leave. I had to spend the next hour and a half washing it all off while my manager laughed about it. FML

#17630283
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23925) - you deserved it (1919)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:45pm - work - by chicoallen - United States

Today, my 4-year-old son cut half of my hair when I was asleep because he thought I would look better that way. FML

#19990341
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23923) - you deserved it (3123)

On 07/29/2012 at 4:11am - kids - by ellieowenie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to have a discussion with my 54-year-old mother about showering. She thinks it's perfectly OK to shower only once a week. FML

#18913087
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23922) - you deserved it (2878)

On 01/26/2012 at 12:19am - health - by NeedaNosePlug (woman) - United States

Today, I was woken up by a noise coming from the bathroom. Upon investigation, I discovered my very drunk, giggling girlfriend attempting to urinate standing up. Carefully note the word "attempting". FML

#19756840
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23922) - you deserved it (2076)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:54pm - love - by SprinklerDodger (man) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML

#18112620
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23922) - you deserved it (15494)

On 10/30/2011 at 4:15pm - misc - by yum yogurt - United States (Kentucky)



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