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Today, a stuffed ferret was the latest addition to the list of weird items my colleagues have found in our rubbish tip, and that they put in my office. The list also includes explicit fetish porn playing cards, live ammo and dead pheasants, to name a few. I need a new job. FML

#19220268
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17962) - you deserved it (2148)

On 03/05/2012 at 11:36am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Gateshead)

Today, I got to drop off my boyfriend at his newest place of residence: jail. FML

#20127580
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17960) - you deserved it (4480)

On 10/21/2012 at 11:19pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML

#8193148
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17953) - you deserved it (6579)

On 02/13/2010 at 1:51am - intimacy - by whathef???? - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was in the middle of having sex with my girlfriend. I told her that I loved her. She asked me how much wind-shield wiper blades cost. FML

#7296803
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17951) - you deserved it (2772)

On 01/12/2010 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Upbrakie - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML

#20056354
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17945) - you deserved it (23268)

On 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Loserbot (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I backed out of the driveway of our newly built home. Being unfamiliar with the driveway, I ended up getting bogged in the mud and slid halfway down the steep slope of the front yard, trying free myself. I haven't met my neighbours yet. They stood in their front lawns watching me. FML

#6967912
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17943) - you deserved it (3561)

On 12/27/2009 at 1:58am - misc - by jaded_woman (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

#20570299
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17943) - you deserved it (40694)

On 04/01/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by Marco (man) - United States

Today, my dog somehow managed to swallow a ring that my mother had bought me. Now I must carefully poke and search through each pile of dog crap I find in my yard for the next week. FML

#19971657
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17942) - you deserved it (2417)

On 07/21/2012 at 11:58pm - animals - by summerbabe77 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I fell asleep while masturbating. I'm so bad that I bore myself. FML

#7100685
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17930) - you deserved it (6355)

On 01/02/2010 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Lonely (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up really tired after a night of just two hours sleep. The reason? The mall across the street forgot to turn off their music. It played Christmas songs all night. Loud. FML

Today, I was feeling really good about myself for running and walking everywhere so much so that I was out of breath and panting. Well, until I remembered that I was playing a video game and it was my character that was doing the running around that is. FML

#21063762
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17929) - you deserved it (39106)

On 02/17/2014 at 8:57pm - health - by Tomb Raider Wannabe (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got flowers sent to my work, I happily opened them in front of my co-workers thinking they were from my crush, I open the card to see "Love you, from mom". My mother thinks my love life is so pathetic, that's she needs to send me flowers to cheer me up. FML

#8270152
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17925) - you deserved it (4776)

On 02/14/2010 at 9:54pm - love - by britney - Canada (Quebec)



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