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Today, I've been forced to start packing to go on a vacation with my parents, because they say I've been studying too hard and need a break. I've hardly studied at all and was planning on making up for it all in the time I had left before finals. I'm screwed. FML

#21069416
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21187) - you deserved it (37891)

On 02/23/2014 at 2:00pm - misc - by goodbye cruel world (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my brand new and very expensive laser printer does actually print 10 times faster than my old one. Except there's nothing printed on the paper. Never mind, at least it makes a cool sound. FML

#458
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21186) - you deserved it (3676)

On 12/06/2008 at 2:51am - misc - by harry - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML

#8763974
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21186) - you deserved it (5305)

On 03/02/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by sleeper - Sent from mobile version

Today, during an episode of King of Queens that my boyfriend has seen more than once, I decided I'd try to get a little frisky. I straddled him while he was on the bed and began taking my clothes of. He pushed me out of the way and said, 'don't get naked in front of the TV.' FML

#7467691
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21185) - you deserved it (3743)

On 01/21/2010 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went out for a few drinks with some friends. All night, I kept smiling and showing off my newly brace-free teeth. Later on, one of my friends drunkly asked, "Why does she keep smiling? Her teeth are fucking jacked." FML

#20122439
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21184) - you deserved it (2593)

On 10/18/2012 at 12:26pm - health - by murp (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I've been sick with both a chest cold and a sore throat. As a result, I've also been dehydrated, causing me to have a headache. Whenever I cough, I feel like my throat is being ripped apart and my head is about to explode. FML

#19334312
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21183) - you deserved it (2927)

On 03/23/2012 at 7:10pm - health - by Zak (man) - United States

Today, my little sister came to me crying about how everyone calls her a bad driver. I gave her a pep talk, an encouraging hug, and told her not to listen to negativity. Five minutes later she wrecked my car. FML

#19575852
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21180) - you deserved it (7319)

On 05/05/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by 464424 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was outside searching for "treasures" with my son using small plastic shovels. All of a sudden he starts screaming. He dug up the bones of our old dog. I told him that we had sent him away to live on a farm, I even helped my son write letters to the farm owners. FML

#640480
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21179) - you deserved it (87470)

On 03/27/2009 at 9:05am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Austria (Vorarlberg)

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21179) - you deserved it (62200)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

Today, while chatting to my mother, I tried to show her a funny website by pasting the URL into a message. After I sent the message, I realised that my browser hadn't copied the URL I wanted to send her, and that I'd actually pasted the previous URL I copied. It was porn. FML

#20957289
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21179) - you deserved it (42752)

On 11/14/2013 at 5:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I learned that it doesn't matter how good you've screwed a satellite dish onto the side of your house, it won't stop the wind the ripping it off and taking half the wall with it. FML

#19143991
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21177) - you deserved it (2634)

On 02/23/2012 at 2:03am - misc - by Blueshock08 - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend and I were in bed. She slipped her hand under the duvet, and I got all excited thinking she was going to give me a hand job. She was actually pulling out her wedgie. FML

#19416403
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21177) - you deserved it (9088)

On 04/06/2012 at 7:10am - intimacy - by TJ - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. When I got home from work, I came home to glitter. EVERYWHERE. Guess who forgot to get the key to his apartment back from his ex-girlfriend. The guy who's having his family over for dinner tonight. FML

#13064737
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21176) - you deserved it (11691)

On 09/15/2010 at 7:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



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Thursday 22 January 2015

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