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Today, I arrived in Austria. Within about an hour, I realized that I couldn't understand any "German". Turns out they have a totally different dialect here to anything I was taught in school. I'm here till May. FML

#6404415
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23097) - you deserved it (17037)

On 11/22/2009 at 12:39pm - misc - by nolinguist (woman) - Austria (Oberosterreich)

Today, I was missing $20 from my wallet, so I decided to ask my sister if she had taken it. Her response? "That reminds me, I need to borrow another 50." She has a job. That was my Christmas money. FML

#8297602
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23096) - you deserved it (2322)

On 02/15/2010 at 12:02pm - money - by Ambar - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a Karate dojo opened under my apartment. It's like living in a Bruce Lee movie. FML

#18516583
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23096) - you deserved it (2886)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:09am - misc - by rattlingfloorboards (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I received more affection from my wife in a video game than I ever have in real life. FML

#19128091
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23096) - you deserved it (4050)

On 02/21/2012 at 12:01am - love - by bloodshedblack - United States (Colorado)

Today, my teacher called me into his office so he that he could pass me some information for my project. Just as he plugged in my thumbdrive, he opened the folder named "School Work". That was the folder name I used to disguise my porn. FML

#1415955
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23093) - you deserved it (101641)

On 04/28/2009 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, I admitted to my parents that I have an eating disorder. Instead of trying to help, my mom stared at me and said, "Duh". FML

#19695634
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23092) - you deserved it (4021)

On 05/28/2012 at 9:38pm - misc - by Hungrey - United States

Today, my little sister came to me crying about how everyone calls her a bad driver. I gave her a pep talk, an encouraging hug, and told her not to listen to negativity. Five minutes later she wrecked my car. FML

#19575852
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23092) - you deserved it (7639)

On 05/05/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by 464424 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML

#1416648
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23091) - you deserved it (234127)

On 04/28/2009 at 7:16am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I started my first day of work. I was told to absorb everything going on and to get used to the high-paced flow of things. I've been sitting at my desk for two hours now, and the office has been empty since I've walked in. FML

#13276180
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23091) - you deserved it (2654)

On 10/01/2010 at 12:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I found a $10 bill on the ground. I got so excited and felt like I was the richest person alive. That was, until the wind blew it out of my hand, never to be seen again. FML

#19321063
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23089) - you deserved it (7051)

On 03/21/2012 at 4:13pm - money - by MoneyMoneyMoneyMonayMONAY (woman) - United States

Today, I was feeling sick but went into my waitressing job because I'd already missed 3 days this week. I was dizzy and managed to spill a tray of drinks all over the customers. Then, when their food was done, I tripped and spilled hot chili all over the man's lap. FML

#14482028
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23087) - you deserved it (10954)

On 01/06/2011 at 1:34am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to make a poster for social studies. I decided to write "Nice ass" in hieroglyphics. Turns out my teacher can read hieroglyphics. FML

#20691781
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23086) - you deserved it (47806)

On 05/28/2013 at 7:42pm - work - by Amber - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting a four-year-old girl, when I came across a toy that sang the Macarena. For fun, I decided to teach her the dance. When she showed her parents, instead of putting her hands on her backside and turning, she decided to bend over and moon them. FML

#19856741
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23086) - you deserved it (2781)

On 06/27/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by fired (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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