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Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wear makeup much. Expecting him to say something about my natural beauty, I replied with an honest "no." His smiled softly, gently squeezed my shoulder, and said, "Maybe you should." FML

#19964000
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23625) - you deserved it (3126)

On 07/20/2012 at 2:23pm - love - by Taylor (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was eating a meatball sub when a meatball fell out and rolled into my hair and all down my shirt. I couldn't find the missing meatball anywhere. I found it later, in my handbag. FML

#19179734
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23625) - you deserved it (4127)

On 02/28/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by malloreigh (woman) - Australia

Today, while at work, a man came up to me and screamed that I was the devil's child, pointing at the tattoo on my wrist the whole time. I just stood there while he prayed for my soul. FML

Today, after weeks of wondering if my cat has a fetish for licking my bed covers, I finally witnessed him licking up an ant off of the covers. Turns out that my bed is infested with ants. FML

#20138030
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23622) - you deserved it (4902)

On 10/29/2012 at 12:23am - animals - by lifelike (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend that since I lost my job I can't afford a Christmas present for him, or anyone. He said trying anal would be fine. FML

#6456555
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23621) - you deserved it (11885)

On 11/26/2009 at 12:31am - intimacy - by ehwat (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML

#19268925
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23621) - you deserved it (7991)

On 03/13/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Wow (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home after a two week vacation to find that my wonderful dog had pooped and peed all over my room. My mother was kind enough to dog-sit; however, instead of helping me by cleaning up the horrid mess, she just left me coupons for Glade plug-in air fresheners. FML

#6287406
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23620) - you deserved it (3445)

On 11/13/2009 at 1:34pm - animals - by PuppyLove2009 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was looking forward to coming home to a freshly-cooked meal. Coming home to a cowering dog, two inches of water on the floor, and being handed a mop is just as good, I guess. FML

#7199180
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23620) - you deserved it (3212)

On 01/07/2010 at 1:38pm - animals - by Flooded (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I did my laundry in my dorm. After dragging 2 hampers down 4 flights of stairs, my ID card with money on it was rejected. After dragging it back upstairs, I scrounged up enough quarters from friends. 30 minutes after finally starting my laundry, I realized I forgot to add detergent. FML

#1530286
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23619) - you deserved it (45211)

On 05/01/2009 at 5:15pm - health - by CollegeGirl (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I learned that not only do wood ticks have a habit of dropping off of branches onto you as you walk under them, they also like to hang out in groups of five or six. FML

#21421750
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23618) - you deserved it (1740)

On 06/06/2015 at 12:19pm - animals - by seadrick (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I'm so insecure that I was still slightly flattered when the demented old man at the nursing home where I work hit on me, because at least somebody finds me attractive. FML

#18712372
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23616) - you deserved it (3214)

On 01/05/2012 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my professor called me out in the middle of a lecture to ask why I was bleeding. I then had to explain to him, in front of around one hundred of my fellow classmates, that my largest zit had burst. FML

#19367861
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23615) - you deserved it (2417)

On 03/29/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Jayne - United States

Today, my girlfriend asked me to take my belt off as the buckle was hurting her leg. I didn't have a belt on. FML

#21385195
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23615) - you deserved it (4299)

On 04/01/2015 at 3:40am - intimacy - by zetuga (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)



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