Today, my boyfriend of several years outright refuses to come to my best friend's wedding, on the grounds that he'll be "bored." FML
Today, I was bored in a meeting, so I absentmindedly started flipping my phone like a fidget spinner. I lost grip, spun it towards the ground, then watched it slide across the floor directly to my manager's feet. FML
Today, I had a very long wait at the doctor's. The three plastic plants in the waiting area have 163 leaves each, the patient information poster on the wall has 127 words, the longest word has 19 letters. FML
Today, I tried to look productive in a meeting by nodding along, only to realize too late that I was actually nodding off. When my head dropped forward, it made a loud thud on my desk, and everyone stopped talking at once. FML
Today, I made the mistake of showing an interest as my boyfriend was playing the new Assassin's Creed. Now I like that he enjoys gaming, but I was not expecting to be given a crash course in Assassin's Creed lore and history all the way back to the first game. It lasted ages. FML
Today, I got fired from a great babysitting job because the little girl said I was boring. FML
Today, I was hit up to "Netflix and chill" by a guy I hang out with, so I dressed up real nice and went over. Unfortunately, the "Netflix" was actually watching Joe Rogan, and the "chill" was smiling politely whenever he would say, "He's right, you know?" and figuring out how and when to go home. FML
Today, my date went off on a 30 minute tangent about how MGTOW is going to be good for society and blah blah blah. He was going to get lucky tonight, as I really wanted some dick to be honest, but he talked himself out of any chance whatsoever by boring me to death. FML
Today, on our twelfth wedding anniversary, my wife fell asleep at a fine dining restaurant table within seconds of asking me about my exciting job interview. FML
Today, I realized how bored I am with life in general, as well as how bad my ADHD has gotten, when I saw a fly eating a crumb I dropped on the floor and watched it for two minutes straight. FML
Today, I was reminded once again how isolated I am while processing data errors. I work with sealed records, and I can't ask anyone for help, or share a laugh at any of the ridiculous names I see. Sigh. FML
Today, for the third day in a row, I was taking care of my girlfriend's kid. I love him, but if I have to play one more game of "Stuffy Hide and Seek", I'm going to rip my hair out. FML
Today, for the third time in as many months, I woke up early and got dressed up for our department’s networking breakfast, where I stood in the back, with no seat and no food, while employees from other departments and less senior staff ate breakfast. My boss later asked me if the food was good. FML
Today, my friend and I got back from a vacation, for which we both took time off work and coordinated. He didn’t want to do anything besides stay in the cabin and play video games. We went on a half-mile walk and that's about it. FML
Today, I was stuck on a packed interstate bus for hours next to 2 complete strangers, even to each other, have an debate about the "Drake and Kendrick beef." They even tried to drag me into it, so… if you happen to read this and recognize yourselves, I was the guy in a white UA hoodie pretending not to speak English. FML
Today, I once again came to the realization of how boring my life is when I noticed that the stray cat in my yard walks in a really silly manner, and I watched it for what seemed like an eternity, utterly fascinated, until it left. FML
Today, the most exciting thing going on in my hometown is a that cow escaped its slaughterhouse transport, only to be put down by our highway patrol. He's got his own Facebook page and everything. Welcome to Ohio. FML
Today, I was hired as an aide to a manager. He only works 2 hours a day, so I only work for 2 hours. The other 8 hours of my day I'm bored because I’m not allowed to go home, watch YouTube, browse Facebook, or read a book, so I just sit at my desk, earning £0.17 over minimum wage, to stare at a wall. FML
Today, I sent a message to vent about my boring team meeting to the team group chat instead of to my friend. Everyone responded with a virtual slow clap. FML
Today, I wasn't allowed to work from home, despite being ill enough to just take the day off anyway, all so there could be "someone to answer the phone." The phone didn't ring once all day. FML
Today, my wife has declared that, unless our son has finished his homework, I'm not to watch TV, play video games, read, use my phone, cook, or go outside, lest I "tempt him" to leave his work unfinished. Guess I'll just stare at the wall all afternoon. FML
Today, literally the only thing that now motivates my husband to do anything is sex. Not food, money, humour, or anything. Once he’s had sex, he’ll do anything I ask him to for about 8 hours, then he turns back into a depressing, shiftless lump who either goes to work, sits in his chair, or sleeps. FML
Today, I'm on a road trip with my girlfriends, and they're all telling each other stories about their sex lives. Me, as I'm a virgin, I'm writing this FML, bored to death due to not having anything to contribute to the conversation. FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend about what happened to me during the day when he stopped me mid-sentence, asked me to skip the middle and to go right to the end of the story, because he could feel himself slowly dying of boredom. Rude much? FML
Today, it marks the 24th day of being on this site, as nothing else will load at my work, and it takes me 30 minutes to watch a 3 minute-long video. I'm going to die in this place. FML
Valetguy tells us more.
Valetguy 4
OP here, yeah actually. I sit at a gate all day in a parking garage and watch people pay and get tickets, I get up everytime someone needs assistance, so yes please explain cause I'm very interested in how the **** I can do my job more than I am. 😂 And other guy, what does IT have to do with no signal in a parking garage? Absofuckinglutely nothing 😀
Today, after weeks of my yelling, my boyfriend finally listened and got a hobby. Instead of getting into something sensible like martial arts, he chose tabletop gaming. Now I have to listen to hours of boring stories about pretend fantasy worlds, and admit to everyone that my boyfriend is a nerd. FML
Today, I fell asleep during a job interview, while it was taking place over the phone. FML
Today, I saw the "Weird: Al Yankovic" movie. What a waste of time that I will never get back. And I don't have that much time left. FML
Today, I've done everything I wanted to do in life. I'm currently 27. Bored out of my fucking mind. Just call me bored. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy who kept checking his phone every five minutes. When I asked him if everything was okay, he told me he was just playing Candy Crush. FML
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