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Today, my boss made me wear reindeer antlers to promote the Christmas spirit. There are still 5 weeks till Christmas. FML

by bakergirl / 11/16/2009 at 5:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I got yelled at by one of my bosses. The reason? I was yawning. I work at Starbucks. Apparently I wasn't 'promoting' correctly. FML

by nichaneely / 01/21/2010 at 12:29am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, I walked outside to see my friend frantically waving and running at me, yelling something I couldn't understand. I smiled and started to jog over to him until I realized he was screaming "RUN!!!" We spent the next 10 minutes running from his neighbor's 5 vicious chihuahuas. FML

by chi-huaHUA / 12/04/2010 at 2:08am / United States / Animals

Today, I saw a small child take a really bad fall off his scooter, so I got rid of my cigarette and ran to help him. I asked him if he was alright, or if I could walk him to his house. He replied "I'm okay, but your dress is on fire." It was. FML

by Laura / 09/21/2010 at 8:31pm / United States / Kids

Today, I woke up at 4:40AM and went to the kitchen. My brother and his steel-capped boots easily found me in the dark. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2011 at 2:49pm / New Zealand (Southland) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working at my local supermarket, I found a boy lost and wandering about, so I took him to the front desk. My reward from his mother was a slap around the face and harsh words for supposedly having kidnapped him. FML

by bitch i'm a gerontophile / 11/29/2012 at 1:08pm / Taiwan / Work

Today, my unemployed mother decided to yet again stay home and drink heavily. So far she's kicked me out of the house, tipped over our sofa and thrown her vibrator out the window. FML

by Deadcat101 / 07/10/2012 at 7:26pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, I opened the freezer for some Poptarts and a giant block of meat fell and broke my toe. FML

by freakingow / 02/14/2010 at 1:05pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I dropped my keys in the sewer. The spare ones are inside my locked car. FML

by / 11/12/2008 at 3:10am / Transportation

Today, my boss bitched at me because my body language "indicates that you don't enjoy doing your job". I just have scoliosis. FML

by c / 07/22/2012 at 12:50am / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, I opened up to my boyfriend about being sexually abused in the past. He said it explains why I'm "such a bitch" when it comes to personal contact. FML

by btoker / 10/15/2015 at 12:16pm / United States (New York) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at a tennis match and it was really hot. I took off my shirt to cool down. A member of the staff then tapped me on the shoulder and told me that my "bare breasts might offend someone." I'm a man. FML

by bennyp77 / 08/31/2010 at 1:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that my parents never ground me as a punishment because I don't get out enough for it to matter. FML

by evilparents / 11/01/2010 at 4:10pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous