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Today, I was walking outside when I saw my best friend about 100 meters away. I began running towards her, arms flailing, screaming out a tribal battle cry. It wasn't until I was nearly on top of her that I realised it was someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7862) - you deserved it (22842)
On 09/17/2010 at 4:33pm - misc - by ellinor (woman) - Sweden (Jonkopings Lan)
Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7861) - you deserved it (23996)
On 12/30/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by Weirdo (woman) - United States
Today, my wife was about to take a shower, when she called me into the bathroom. She stripped me off and pulled me in with her. As I started to get into it, she sighed, "Thank god. You really needed a shower." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7858) - you deserved it (24239)
On 12/31/2011 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by mark - United States
Today, the guy I hooked up with last weekend texted me that I needed to "landscape my front lawn." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7858) - you deserved it (17343)
On 03/17/2010 at 8:48am - intimacy - by Bushfan101 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went to see my favorite band in concert. When the show was over I got the chance to meet them. When I met the guitarist and told him my name, he recognized me. To my disappointment it was as the facebook creeper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7856) - you deserved it (40587)
On 09/03/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by creeper - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, after driving a few hours late at night I decided to entertain the car tailgating me by not letting him pass. After doing this for 3miles, reaching 93MPH, I decided to let the car pass me. When I switched lanes, the car tailgating me light up in red and blue. It was a cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7854) - you deserved it (68390)
On 04/26/2009 at 5:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was having a cybersex chat with a "girl" on a website whilst at work. I noticed my colleague who sits next to me start cracking up with laughter. Turned out it was him I was chatting with and he was winding me up. Worst thing is it had given me a stiffy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7852) - you deserved it (34832)
On 01/14/2009 at 3:49am - intimacy - by diddlysquat - United Kingdom (Wakefield)
Today, I finally got around to writing my Christmas cards. After finishing, I realized I had written "Happy Birthday" instead of "Merry Christmas" on every single one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7852) - you deserved it (25138)
On 12/20/2009 at 5:41pm - misc - by mannnnn2717 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I went to class with my bag packed for a weekend trip when it began to vibrate violently. Stopping mid-lecture, the professor approached me and asked politely if I could turn off my cell phone as I was disturbing the other 150 pupils in the class. It was my personal vibrator. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7852) - you deserved it (34973)
On 10/15/2010 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, my friends and I saw a movie. We sat in the balcony. Halfway during the movie we heard a commotion, thinking it was a group of unruly teenagers like us, we began to pelt the lower half of the theater with candy. We later learned that it was a man having a heart attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7851) - you deserved it (70596)
On 04/06/2009 at 10:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend, who is a dog trainer, was telling me all about the techniques she uses at work. I commented on how the dogs must be stupid to fall for such simple tricks, to which she replied "They worked on you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7850) - you deserved it (31340)
On 09/12/2009 at 8:00am - love - by TrainedBF (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, while playing a gig with my band, I tried pulling the classic "playing the guitar with one foot on the monitor" rock-star pose. However, I misjudged the height of the monitor, didn't notice the puddle of beer in front of it, slipped, and fell off the stage into the security guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7849) - you deserved it (16171)
On 09/06/2011 at 8:07am - misc - by NotKeithRichards - United States (Oregon)
Today, my new $100 electronic cigarette came in the mail. I was so excited to try it out, I used it on the drive to work. The people who sold it to me weren't kidding when they said it looked and felt real. I threw it out the window when I was done. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7844) - you deserved it (41807)
On 08/18/2010 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Monday 17 June 2013
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