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Today, I received a letter saying that I was accepted into university and that I qualified for a number of scholarships. Too bad an equivalent sum of money will be spent fixing the car I hit, after spinning out on ice, whilst driving home from said university. FML

#7413035
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21706) - you deserved it (4229)

On 01/18/2010 at 1:36am - misc - by trooper93 (man) - Canada

Today, I found out while skiing that my dad likes to call me Pimple because I have a pink coat and white helmet. He has tried to squeeze me. FML

#18561191
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21707) - you deserved it (4985)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I ran into my high school crush at Target. When I asked her if she remembered me, she patted me on the head, said, "Unfortunately," and walked away. FML

#20191408
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21704) - you deserved it (2304)

On 12/04/2012 at 8:06pm - misc - by Likian5 (man) - United States

Today, after going to the doctor to have him look at a rash on my man bits, I asked him how to get rid of the redness. He shrugged and said: "Don't worry, nobody will see it other than you and me." He's right. FML

#9029398
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21703) - you deserved it (2527)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:19pm - intimacy - by argh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up with a pimple on my eyelid. Not only is it impossible to cover up with makeup, I can't pop it either. Now I'll be spending the rest of the day trying not to blink. FML

#19945727
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21702) - you deserved it (2261)

On 07/16/2012 at 2:25pm - misc - by CantBlink - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized I have been single for far too long when I was turning off porno after porno because I couldn't stand the horrible acting. FML

#19806122
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21700) - you deserved it (5330)

On 06/18/2012 at 6:22am - intimacy - by the critic (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally discovered the reason my front room smelt funny. My dog, thinking the Christmas tree was real, has been peeing on it for the past two weeks. FML

#7053849
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21697) - you deserved it (4602)

On 12/31/2009 at 8:28am - animals - by brokenrainbow. (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I found out that my lovely amazing boyfriend likes to pee in everything other than the toilet. This includes: Hawaiian punch jugs, the sink, empty cans/bottles and out of my window. FML

#19514885
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21697) - you deserved it (3168)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:44am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had an upset stomach. I decided to quickly take out the trash before heading to the bathroom. As I opened the trash can lid, a raccoon jumped out. I learned the literal meaning of being scared shitless. FML

#20007279
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21695) - you deserved it (2255)

On 08/07/2012 at 5:19am - health - by TheCerealKiller - United States (California)

Today, my cat didn't quite manage to eat the whole turkey because it was frozen. He just licked it all over. FML

#615
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21695) - you deserved it (4447)

On 12/28/2008 at 2:02am - animals - by bundie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sent a text message to this girl I've been flirting with for a while now saying "How about coffee?". To which she answered "Great idea, I'll go and make myself one right now". FML

#705
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21693) - you deserved it (2769)

On 01/05/2009 at 1:16am - love - by Charly - Sent from mobile version

Today, I confirmed that my neighbors burn their garbage in their backyard. How? My dog just threw up a nice smelly consistency of spaghetti, plastic and cigarette butts on my carpet. FML

#14954664
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21692) - you deserved it (3259)

On 02/13/2011 at 3:36am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

#7204414
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21691) - you deserved it (4554)

On 01/07/2010 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by oopsies (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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