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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was looking forward to coming home to a freshly-cooked meal. Coming home to a cowering dog, two inches of water on the floor, and being handed a mop is just as good, I guess. FML

#7199180
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23125) - you deserved it (3167)

On 01/07/2010 at 1:38pm - animals - by Flooded (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend finally proposed. His reason? A Las Vegas wedding came up on Groupon. FML

#19367964
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23125) - you deserved it (2706)

On 03/29/2012 at 1:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I taught my younger cousins a more effective way to brush their teeth. Tonight when I was getting them ready for bed I asked them why they weren't brushing their teeth like I taught them to. The littlest one replied "Daddy said if we do then we'll have ugly teeth like yours." FML

#6204379
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23123) - you deserved it (6258)

On 11/07/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about how I'm self conscious about my weight. He looks at me and says, "Don't worry babe, I've always been kind of a chubby chaser." FML

#6430848
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23121) - you deserved it (7037)

On 11/24/2009 at 12:03am - health - by cc (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after having finally kicked my insomnia's ass after three hours, I was woken up by something I only thought happened in movies. Someone had paid for a Mariachi band to play for their girlfriend, outside my apartment, in the middle of the night. FML

#20175516
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23121) - you deserved it (1392)

On 11/23/2012 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally moved all my boxes into my new apartment. I was settling in when my alarm clock that was stashed in one of the boxes began ringing. Two hours and several boxes later, I still can't find it. FML

#14249611
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23119) - you deserved it (5258)

On 12/18/2010 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I am jobless after graduation. Ironic, since when I started college with my education degree, I was congratulated, told of the teacher shortage in my state, and how quickly I would be able to find a job. Three years in, the economy tanks, and the state issues a teacher hiring freeze. FML

#7865579
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23116) - you deserved it (2492)

On 02/04/2010 at 12:02am - work - by FMJoblessL (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I received an award from my school rewarding me for my honor roll and my cheerleading. When I brought the certificate home my mom congratulated me and hugged me. I worked really hard for this and all my dad had to say was, "Try this flavor of Doritos." FML

#10496358
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23115) - you deserved it (7633)

On 05/12/2010 at 10:18pm - misc - by honorstudent - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML

#19522939
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23116) - you deserved it (17341)

On 04/24/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by Jaclk - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I put a blue toilet cleaner square in the back of toilet. My fiancé called me later on freaking out because he couldn't get the "blue water to go away" when he flushed. FML

#18447759
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23114) - you deserved it (3023)

On 12/06/2011 at 8:38pm - love - by sparklethelette - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after spending the past 4 days asking both my husband and my father-in-law to salt our sidewalk, I slipped on the ice. I hit my head on our concrete stairs. While holding ice on my head, my father-in-law pats my head and says "I'll go get some salt." FML

#6900019
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23109) - you deserved it (8076)

On 12/23/2009 at 9:30am - health - by SnowyConcussion (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML

#7340967
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23108) - you deserved it (3348)

On 01/14/2010 at 4:56pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML

#20176506
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23110) - you deserved it (2275)

On 11/24/2012 at 11:35am - misc - by lobstercola - Canada (Alberta)



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