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Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

#18041675
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19980) - you deserved it (33260)

On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dog and I were sitting on the couch. I went to the bathroom, came back, and saw him walk over the remote, which caused the TV to change to the Hustler channel, just a few moments before my girlfriend walked through the door. FML

#20157085
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19979) - you deserved it (3102)

On 11/10/2012 at 1:51am - animals - by Sam l. - United States

Today, I told my mom I was finally going on a diet. She let me know how proud she is of me fighting temptation, by making my favorite cookies and dinner. FML

#19743960
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19976) - you deserved it (2052)

On 06/06/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, to help me get over my crippling social anxiety, my therapist encouraged me to sing in front of a crowd, since I actually have a fine singing voice. I ended up fainting onstage, mid-song. FML

#20146765
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19974) - you deserved it (1841)

On 11/04/2012 at 2:28am - misc - by Chuffy (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I took my mom to Victoria's Secret to help her find a bra. She made me try one on to see if it looked good on me. Turns out we have the same cup size. I'm a guy. FML

#17080127
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19975) - you deserved it (47672)

On 07/12/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by sm702 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

#3711192
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19972) - you deserved it (81850)

On 07/13/2009 at 5:17am - intimacy - by air (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was sitting on my boyfriends lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML

#5136668
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19972) - you deserved it (4138)

On 09/08/2009 at 9:26pm - intimacy - by awkwardbf (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my roommate did his laundry. Unfortunately, he didn't check his pockets before he washed them. There's now sticky, melted gum all over the washer and I'm left to clean it up. FML

#18926835
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19972) - you deserved it (1899)

On 01/27/2012 at 5:32pm - misc - by StickySituations (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be romantic to make me dinner surrounded by a candlelight setting. By the time I got home, we had 7 firefighters surrounding our house. Turns out one of the candles fell on the carpet and lit up the curtain as well. FML

#19906711
113 comments

Today, I joined a local interest website, hoping to make some friends in my area. I don't think I've ever met so many guys before who introduce themselves with pictures of their cocks. FML

#19678592
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19970) - you deserved it (5249)

On 05/25/2012 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I lent my brand new earrings to one of my friends. Everyone told her that they are pretty, and look really great on her. I've been wearing them for the last 3 weeks, and no one has ever mentioned them. FML

#713
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19969) - you deserved it (1949)

On 01/05/2009 at 10:27pm - misc - by sel2207 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my sister and I had a bonding moment. It consisted of me plucking her chin hairs. FML

#15083681
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19969) - you deserved it (5072)

On 02/22/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Taylor (woman) - United States (California)



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