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Today, I decided to dress up sexy for my boyfriend. I put on cute undies and a corset because they made the most of my assets. The first thing my boyfriend said was 'the colours don't match'. FML

#6148778
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16198) - you deserved it (4489)

On 11/04/2009 at 8:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML

#20067647
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16195) - you deserved it (3441)

On 09/11/2012 at 3:16pm - love - by Anonymous - Sweden

Today, I realized that the only things I gained from my masters programs are more debt and the knowledge that you can use a semicolon in a list. FML

#8437472
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16195) - you deserved it (4505)

On 02/19/2010 at 7:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML

#20114686
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16193) - you deserved it (1556)

On 10/13/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and while trying to make a dramatic exit, I slammed his car door, slipped on the ice and landed on my back in front of a large crowd of onlookers. FML

#4066
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16192) - you deserved it (6358)

On 01/31/2009 at 10:30am - love - by kill me - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I lost control of my vehicle while driving. The car went off the road, rolled over, and ended up being totaled. The policeman asked me if I was alright and I said I was. He seemed relieved at my answer. Then he handed me a $300 ticket for failing to maintain my lane. FML

#13727152
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16190) - you deserved it (4893)

On 11/05/2010 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, a black cat crossed in front of my truck and I thought to myself that it was funny people believe black cats bring bad luck. Not even two minutes later, I drove my truck into a ditch. FML

#8338090
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16189) - you deserved it (8532)

On 02/16/2010 at 12:56pm - animals - by matiasbarbero - United States

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

#8409963
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16189) - you deserved it (3254)

On 02/18/2010 at 3:08pm - love - by gp28 - United States

Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML

#19355965
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16189) - you deserved it (2857)

On 03/27/2012 at 3:40am - misc - by blueglover - United States (California)

Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue"... He told me "Yeah sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away I read his note: "911". FML

#125152
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16186) - you deserved it (43027)

On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I've been diagnosed with a severe lung infection. This causes me to viciously hack up a lung every two minutes or so. Not only can I barely breathe as it is, my job requires lots of running around, cleaning and interacting with customers. I have a five-hour shift tonight. FML

#19529513
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16188) - you deserved it (1406)

On 04/25/2012 at 9:27pm - health - by MissMae93 (woman) - United States

Today, I was upset over a recent break up. It showed while I was at work, and I made a customer sad just by looking blue. She complained to my manager. I got written up for being so depressed that I got a customer depressed too. FML

#19993921
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16180) - you deserved it (2064)

On 07/31/2012 at 2:42am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had sex with a guy. As he was sleeping next to me, I checked his facebook messages and saw that he sent a message to one of his buddies asking what kind of lotion helps get rid of crabs. FML

#4051
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16179) - you deserved it (56198)

On 01/31/2009 at 10:04am - intimacy - by DDD - Sent from mobile version



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