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Today, my upstairs neighbor was leaving the parking lot, and stopped to wave. I smiled and waved back, only to realize that she was saying goodbye to her cat, who was sitting in the window. FML

#17966931
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21139) - you deserved it (3163)

On 10/12/2011 at 11:41am - animals - by octoberrain - United States

Today, I was jogging around the neighborhood when I saw an old man on his porch. Being friendly, I waved at him as I ran by. Apparently his idea of greeting someone is pelting them with stones. FML

#18087058
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21137) - you deserved it (2330)

On 10/27/2011 at 4:06am - misc - by unlucky - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the gym and as I was pulling out my earphones and getting off my treadmill, I heard the girl behind me say to her friend on the treadmill next to her, "Wow, there have no cute guys today." Her friend replied, "None at all. It's like everyone suddenly got gay or ugly." FML

#2709
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21132) - you deserved it (1841)

On 01/26/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Rothaar - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML

#6089895
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21132) - you deserved it (2532)

On 10/31/2009 at 8:22pm - intimacy - by thornrose22 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my four roommates and I contracted lice. While all our heads were slathered in mayonnaise and saran wrap, our building's fire alarm went off. FML

#20103879
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21130) - you deserved it (2964)

On 10/06/2012 at 3:28am - health - by EastOneTen - United States

Today, I went to see my orthodontist. He informed me that I have an underbite and I will probably need braces again. I just had them taken off last year, after five and a half years of oral hell. FML

#20044922
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21129) - you deserved it (1665)

On 08/27/2012 at 6:16pm - health - by Albert (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mother-in-law moved in because she has a hip problem. I don't know what's worse, her constant complaining and slob like tendencies, or the eight cats she brought along with her. FML

#20154544
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21126) - you deserved it (1731)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:43am - misc - by David (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, the bird that has been stuck in my roof for two days, keeping me awake at night, finally flew out of the roof and into the house. As I was opening the door to send it outside, it flew straight back up into the roof. FML

#5839165
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21125) - you deserved it (2217)

On 10/15/2009 at 2:16am - animals - by birdhater (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, formal portraits of my entire class were posted online, with about five photos per person. As my mom was looking at them, she was commenting about how pretty all my classmates look. When she got to my photos, all she had to say was "ugh". FML

#7222160
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21124) - you deserved it (2162)

On 01/08/2010 at 7:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML

#8763974
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21124) - you deserved it (5298)

On 03/02/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by sleeper - Sent from mobile version

Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML

#18545148
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21124) - you deserved it (2988)

On 12/18/2011 at 2:31pm - animals - by dogh8er (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dog managed to pull a one-pound package of raw bacon out and eat the entire package including the cardboard. The vets cheered when they finally got him to puke up the entire, unchewed package of bacon. FML

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML

#20156617
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21121) - you deserved it (2784)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:16pm - health - by dating a fking cnt (man) - Canada



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