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Today, while cleaning my car, I found my mother's underwear in the backseat. She'd borrowed my car last weekend because hers had been in the shop and she'd been called in to work. I see she put in for overtime. FML

#9001773
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18030) - you deserved it (1634)

On 03/11/2010 at 6:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I dropped my 400 dollar iphone, that's been through toilets and 6 foot falls, on a walmart floor and shattered the screen. I managed, however, to catch the 2 dollar macaroni and cheese before it hit the ground. FML

#60521
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18028) - you deserved it (27898)

On 02/17/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by noname (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, whilst celebrating my birthday with my friends and family, I met a girl at the bar who seemed interested. She became very disinterested and left after my mother whispered in her ear "If you go home with my son make sure he wears a condom." FML

#5889966
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18029) - you deserved it (2276)

On 10/19/2009 at 12:32am - intimacy - by Joe (man) - Cambodia (Phnum Penh)

Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

#6298765
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18027) - you deserved it (31483)

On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, my friend sent me the link to this website with a message that said, "You'll feel at home." FML

#3195
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18023) - you deserved it (2411)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:33pm - misc - by AKN - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I came home from the hospital diagnosed with high blood pressure. It's caused by stress. My wife had a very long talk with my son about it. All the kid has been doing for the past 2 hours is scream at his Playstation. I'd rather be at the hospital. FML

#20188739
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18016) - you deserved it (2704)

On 12/02/2012 at 11:03pm - kids - by Nick (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had to take my husband to the hospital. He and his friends got the bright idea of recording a re-enactment of a scene from Fight Club for a YouTube video. It ended as soon as my husband caught a fist to the gut and started violently puking all over our basement floor. FML

#19782918
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18013) - you deserved it (1937)

On 06/13/2012 at 4:38pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands

Today, I was talking to a charming young lady on MSN by webcam. She suddenly asked me to take my glasses off for a minute; I did so, and she said, "Oh never mind, you're still just as ugly..." FML

#814
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18012) - you deserved it (1818)

On 01/08/2009 at 2:55am - misc - by neoteck - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had my car valeted at my hotel. The manager came out, took my keys, and said the car would be waiting for me in an hour. I was then forced to watch from the lobby as the "manager" sped off downtown. FML

#17812244
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18009) - you deserved it (3987)

On 09/23/2011 at 9:48am - misc - by hatty - United Kingdom (East Lothian)

Today, feeling desperate, I asked my dad for advice on how to get a girl. He asked me why I want to even date. I panicked and said I just wanted to make someone happy. He told me that if I wanted to make someone happy, I should "just start by getting a goddamn vasectomy". FML

#19574398
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18007) - you deserved it (2211)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:01pm - love - by AnonymousUser (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guy who sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. FML

#7728542
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18005) - you deserved it (2431)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Me - United States

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend to marry me, because it's a leap year. He is now avoiding me for fear that I was serious. FML

#19188857
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18005) - you deserved it (13576)

On 02/29/2012 at 1:10pm - love - by CptZoe - United Kingdom (Rotherham)



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