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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, I spent 5 hours organizing my porn collection on my computer. What the hell am I doing with my life? FML

#21373875
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23737) - you deserved it (22316)

On 03/13/2015 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Bahrain (Al Manamah)

Today, I went on a field trip with some people from school. I'm currently confined to a wheelchair, so I had to rely on my sister to get around. She eventually went off with her friends, assuming that the people nearby would keep me company. Five minutes later, they'd all left me. FML

#20135712
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23736) - you deserved it (1759)

On 10/27/2012 at 4:04pm - misc - by left4dead (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out why I can't sleep at night. My wife switched my sleep aid pills with energy pills. FML

#20007763
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23737) - you deserved it (2119)

On 08/07/2012 at 1:59pm - love - by Blackfell - United States

Today, I found out that the phone number I switched to, used to host an amateur phone sex hotline. I found this out after getting several calls by teenagers, who sounded as if they were masturbating even as I yelled that they had the wrong number. FML

#19851648
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23732) - you deserved it (1665)

On 06/26/2012 at 5:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I used a red-eye removal tool on one of my photos. I quickly realised how bad my acne is when the software couldn't distinguish between my eyes and cheeks. FML

#19856551
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23731) - you deserved it (2548) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/27/2012 at 4:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I finally told my girlfriend I love her. She corrected my grammar. FML

#6978473
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23730) - you deserved it (9063)

On 12/27/2009 at 7:37pm - love - by ITalkGood - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sent my boss a link to a website I thought would answer a simple question she'd asked. Turns out, yes, the site did answer her question, but it also had some very suggestive ads on it. Apparently I'm the only person in the office who uses adblock. FML

#7437531
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23729) - you deserved it (2503)

On 01/19/2010 at 2:26pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was on my bed on top of my boyfriend when I lost my balance and fell. My father walked in the door to see what the noise was. I don't know what is more embarrassing, my father walking in, or him walking in saying "Thats an expensive bed." FML

#10706992
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23729) - you deserved it (9506)

On 05/23/2010 at 3:27am - intimacy - by EmbarrassedDaughter (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had a panic attack. Not on a crowded train, or an airplane, or in school, or any of the expected places. It was in my yoga class, which my therapist recommended for me, while I was in a dead-body position. FML

#18174225
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23726) - you deserved it (3468)

On 11/06/2011 at 12:43pm - health - by panickygrl (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was on MSN with my friend and my 9 year old brother. My friend asked me for some advice about how to give a guy a good blowjob. I went into great detail, and then realised that I had typed it to the wrong window. I gave my little brother tips on how to perform fellatio. FML

#764991
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23725) - you deserved it (105889)

On 04/02/2009 at 11:34am - intimacy - by imsorrytimmy (woman) - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, after realizing it burned when I peed, I found out the boy I waited two years to have sex with gave me gonorrhea. FML

#6825049
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23724) - you deserved it (6284)

On 12/19/2009 at 6:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML

#18225907
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23722) - you deserved it (2510)

On 11/12/2011 at 4:27am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend to our local park, and I playfully climbed into one of the baby swings. I planned on having him push me, not getting stuck and having to be cut free from the seat while he laughed. FML

#21108537
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23721) - you deserved it (38237)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:50pm - love - by BabyButt - United States (Hawaii)



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