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Today, I tried to "trip" and fall into this guy I've had a crush on. I missed and fell on my face. He stepped over me and kept walking. FML

#20646330
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24271) - you deserved it (48671)

On 05/06/2013 at 8:45pm - misc - by clumsy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was digging in the backyard when my mom came out, nodded her head approvingly, and with a straight face told me it was good practice for when I inevitably go to prison. FML

#17661363
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24270) - you deserved it (4016)

On 09/04/2011 at 1:05pm - work - by mike - United States

Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML

#6464723
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24269) - you deserved it (7701)

On 11/26/2009 at 4:13pm - animals - by smellsofeggs (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, a thumb tack came out of one of my posters on my wall. The sole of my foot had the pleasure of finding it. FML

#14225265
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24269) - you deserved it (3536)

On 12/16/2010 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend punched a hole in a door. This is on top of the broken handle, cracked sink top, dented fridge, and other holes in the wall he has also made. We are 4 months into our year lease. I don't think we are getting our $720 deposit back. FML

#15781081
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24269) - you deserved it (17674)

On 04/14/2011 at 2:59am - money - by Username -

Today, it was my first day working as a dental assistant, leaving me in charge of all cleaning. The first patient was so scared, he peed his pants. Which might have been understandable if he hadn't been a fully grown man. FML

#21384513
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24268) - you deserved it (2072)

On 03/30/2015 at 11:52pm - work - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I woke up to shit on my floor and my cat hiding under my comforter. I have to get rid of my new fish because my cat is afraid of it. FML

#13581194
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24267) - you deserved it (3129)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm - animals - by danjoylovefun - United States (Colorado)

Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML

#6508757
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24264) - you deserved it (12090)

On 11/29/2009 at 3:55am - misc - by Nomoresandwish (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to see that I had two black eyes from a cheerleading stunt gone wrong yesterday. I decided to curl my hair to distract from them. While curling my hair I accidentally burned my cheek. I now have two black eyes and a huge burn on my cheek. My extended family is coming tomorrow. FML

#6926304
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24263) - you deserved it (6750)

On 12/24/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while working at a hospital, I told a patient to smile for the camera when taking an xray. His response was, "I have Bell's Palsy and haven't smiled in 5 years." FML

#13601804
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24259) - you deserved it (7122)

On 10/26/2010 at 12:50pm - health - by oaksac191 - United States (New York)

Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML

#20012686
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24258) - you deserved it (3089)

On 08/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by banana2894 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I finally got cleared after my knee surgery and wanted to go salsa dancing with a girl I liked. So we went and I thought I would show off a little bit and try to dip her and kiss her. Turns out my knee isn't strong enough and now she won't talk to me after dropping her on the floor. FML

#1414687
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24257) - you deserved it (43389)

On 04/28/2009 at 2:50am - love - by Mikey (man) - United States (California)



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