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Today, the highlight of my day was someone prank-calling me. FML

#14297205
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20848) - you deserved it (4950)

On 12/22/2010 at 11:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Barnsley)

Today, I was forced to listen to a client rant about her lackluster sexual encounters with her husband. I was also given a rather detailed description of his manhood. Apparently, it's small. FML

Today, my neighbours watched and laughed as I chased my dog around the lawn, trying to rescue the only clean pair of underwear I had in my house. FML

#18207417
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20847) - you deserved it (9017)

On 11/10/2011 at 12:56am - animals - by Doggy... (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was texting a friend of mine. She mentioned it was her dad's birthday. I typed "Tell him Happy Birthday for me!" and as I pressed send I remember her dad was dead. FML

#3169112
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20846) - you deserved it (41985)

On 06/24/2009 at 8:11am - misc - by blind (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me because I refused to keep him company while he took a shit. FML

#19633395
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20844) - you deserved it (3308)

On 05/16/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by HK (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, my mom hosted a high-school reunion. I had to prepare dessert, while my brother cooked dinner. Being the absolute dickhead that he is, he switched the sugar with salt. All the desserts I made tasted like shit, everyone left, and I got grounded for my supposed prank. FML

#20127118
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20844) - you deserved it (1902)

On 10/21/2012 at 7:00pm - misc - by HOPE YOU GET PEGGED (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it's Saint Patrick's Day and the nicest day of the year so far. I'm spending it in the bathroom, puking up the sushi I'd eaten last night. The luck of the Irish can't help me on this one. FML

#9158152
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20843) - you deserved it (4690)

On 03/17/2010 at 12:15pm - health - by patrick - United States

Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML

#17709124
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20843) - you deserved it (235267)

On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was being driven to get my wisdom teeth removed and I was panicking all the way there. When we got to the office, I was told that I'd been brought in on the wrong day, and that I have to do this all over again tomorrow. FML

#14356435
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20842) - you deserved it (7480)

On 12/27/2010 at 11:28am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was talking about phobias and anxiety disorders in psychology class. I nearly had a panic attack because I was worried that someone might realize I suffer from them. FML

#19370577
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20842) - you deserved it (3493)

On 03/29/2012 at 4:16pm - work - by nicoleee - United States

Today, a co-worker asked me if I had a comb he could borrow. I'm bald. FML

#1114
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20841) - you deserved it (2243)

On 01/14/2009 at 10:32am - love - by poisonhand - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was kneeling down at work to do some cleaning. My co-worker said, "Oh don't your knees hurt, kneeling like that for so long?" Without thinking how it sounded, I said, "Oh no, it's not a problem. I'm on my knees all the time." He's yet to stop hitting on me. FML

#1770571
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20839) - you deserved it (45485)

On 05/09/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend picked me up from school. It was an unusually sweet gesture from him, and I was flattered. That is, until he told me to sit my ass in the back, so his dog could ride in front with him. FML

#20082214
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20838) - you deserved it (4106)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:10pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



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