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Today, there are rumors flying around my office that I hooked up with the guy who picks his nose and leaves boogers under tables. I didn't. Last night I took a shower at my boyfriend's place, who happens to use the exact same body wash and shampoo as the office outcast. FML

#14019566
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22677) - you deserved it (3107)

On 11/29/2010 at 1:23am - intimacy - by AntiAxe -

Today, I asked my husband if he knew what day it was. His answer was, "garbage day?" It's our six-year anniversary. FML

#19987123
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22675) - you deserved it (3110)

On 07/27/2012 at 10:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took a girl out to dinner. Halfway through, she sighed and asked if it was all an episode of Disaster Date. FML

#20064691
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22675) - you deserved it (2708)

On 09/09/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by zed - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML

#5822673
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22674) - you deserved it (12532)

On 10/13/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML

#19576314
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22673) - you deserved it (8003)

On 05/05/2012 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I woke up, got up, and felt something crunchy under my feet. My son thought it would be funny if he spread cat litter all around the house. Used cat litter. FML

#19536955
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22669) - you deserved it (2155)

On 04/27/2012 at 11:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my landlady decided to fix the leak in my room. Her solution was repainting the ceiling. Now not only is my room still wet but it now reeks of paint thinner. FML

#5860087
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22668) - you deserved it (1610)

On 10/17/2009 at 12:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to the movies with my crush, who had asked me out on a date. Assuming he'd pay, I left my money at home. When the time came to buy the tickets, he only bought one for himself. FML

#20448091
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22667) - you deserved it (61879)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous001 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML

#19414081
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22666) - you deserved it (4494)

On 04/05/2012 at 8:41pm - health - by TwiceDaily,Kids (man) - United States

Today, my husband used our last $2000 to buy himself a motorcycle. It's supposed to "save us a lot on gas money." FML

#17694243
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22668) - you deserved it (2792)

On 09/08/2011 at 1:36am - money - by julesmommy - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss asked me what language I was speaking. I was clearly speaking English, but apparently, "indifferent" is too big a word for him to understand. I don't know how he got into a management position. FML

#18443070
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22664) - you deserved it (1738)

On 12/06/2011 at 3:57am - work - by snarly1 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend who has just returned from his 3 month placement abroad cancelled our date. Why? Because there was a match England vs Germany. A friendly match. FML

#347
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22658) - you deserved it (3673)

On 11/20/2008 at 6:10am - love - by archer - United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead)

Today, I gave my drink to a girl who I got with previously and started to dance with her. She backed off after a few seconds, took my drink and danced with my friend who was standing right next to me. FML

#17489
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22658) - you deserved it (5253)

On 02/09/2009 at 1:24pm - misc - by Bliss (man) - United States (Florida)



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