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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend told my hamster he loved her. Repeatedly. In 'cute' baby voices. He has yet to tell me. FML

#8039687
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22077) - you deserved it (5024)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I did my workout at the gym instead of at home as I usually do, since I'm paranoid about people seeing up my shorts. I told myself to get over it, because it's impossible. After my extensive workout, I realized that there was a hole in the crotch of my shorts. FML

#7199308
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22075) - you deserved it (9234)

On 01/07/2010 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my right ear drum ruptured. My family doesn't understand that I only lost hearing in one ear and continues to talk about me behind my back, thinking I can't hear them. FML

#20106279
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22076) - you deserved it (1303)

On 10/07/2012 at 7:39pm - health - by lbelle - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went to a 'haunted' theme park, actors had been trying to scare me the whole night. I was waiting by an outdoor heater for my friend when a hand came out of nowhere close to my face. I screamed at the top of my lungs, but it was only some chick wanting to warm her hands by the heater. FML

#5987290
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22074) - you deserved it (6452)

On 10/25/2009 at 4:54am - misc - by mack (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to engage the child locks on the rear doors of my SUV. My SUV has a bolted cage for the dog separating the front from the back. Guess who was locked in their own car for 2 hours? FML

#7194644
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22074) - you deserved it (3653)

On 01/07/2010 at 3:31am - animals - by Archie (man) - United States (California)

Today, while I was out of the office, I'd left my phone charging inside. My boss informed me that since I am clearly running up her electricity bill, it will be deducted out of my already nearly non existent paycheck. FML

#14473900
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22072) - you deserved it (3828)

On 01/05/2011 at 11:41am - work - by x_udontknowme_x (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom was feeling down because of her gray hairs. In an attempt to cheer her up, I suggested that she dye them. Her hair turned orange. FML

#18569978
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22072) - you deserved it (4926)

On 12/21/2011 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got home to find my entire video game collection and all my consoles had been stolen. Two weeks ago I brought them back from my University accommodation, specifically to stop them from being stolen while I was at home for the Christmas holiday. FML

#7109845
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22070) - you deserved it (2127)

On 01/02/2010 at 7:35pm - misc - by greatstartto2010 (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I witnessed my neighbor draining his sewage-clogged plumbing into my backyard. FML

#17630821
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22070) - you deserved it (1612)

On 08/31/2011 at 4:15pm - misc - by EwwGross - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML

#19331410
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22069) - you deserved it (1753)

On 03/23/2012 at 5:44am - work - by ANNIEDBD - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I received my first payment of child support from my estranged husband: $50 and a note that said he wouldn't be paying any more. FML

#19335600
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22069) - you deserved it (3265)

On 03/23/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML

#19589899
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22068) - you deserved it (6140)

On 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's the third anniversary of when I started looking for a new job. I'm still working at the job that made me want to get a new one and I haven't even had an interview for another one in almost two years. My Master's degree on the wall is looking more and more like a roll of toilet paper. FML

#8990477
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22067) - you deserved it (3148)

On 03/11/2010 at 1:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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