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Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML

#17974587
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16374) - you deserved it (1747)

On 10/13/2011 at 11:55am - animals - by Doglover - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I found out that my mother is extremely emotional when it comes to animal deaths when a bird flew into the window and died, and she insisted we have a funeral. FML

#19441830
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16373) - you deserved it (2817)

On 04/10/2012 at 7:13am - animals - by tay (man) - Australia

Today, I went to work as a home health-aid, and found out that my client turns his hearing aid off on purpose because he can't stand my voice. FML

#17948621
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16372) - you deserved it (3080)

On 10/10/2011 at 12:13am - work - by melikeyturtles - United States

Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in 3 days. FML

#185053
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16372) - you deserved it (58894)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by Werner (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was studying for a final when I noticed all I had was a blue highlighter. I decided to drive to the store to get a yellow one. On the way there, I got $200 worth of traffic tickets for not stopping at a stop sign. I basically spent $200 because I prefer yellow highlighters over blue. FML

#278452
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16370) - you deserved it (93610)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:09pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took my puppy for a walk around town. I had to stop and explain to several people that yes, his head was purple because my little sister wanted to make him look like a Na'vi from Avatar. FML

#20041954
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16371) - you deserved it (1967)

On 08/26/2012 at 12:18am - misc - by AmyLeigh - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was trying to take the cap off a can of spray cooking oil. It was really stuck so I pulled extra hard. It flew off and I punched myself in the head. I also sprayed myself in the eye with it. The lump on my forehead and my swollen shut eye make me look like Popeye, but I'm a girl. FML

#8636971
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16367) - you deserved it (4389)

On 02/25/2010 at 10:18am - misc - by popeye (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad started his mid-life crisis. Instead of a Porsche or a Ferrari, he bought a tractor. Goodbye summer holiday. FML

#19708636
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16367) - you deserved it (1735)

On 05/31/2012 at 6:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my dad put an onion in my room, telling me spirits won't haunt me and that I won't get sick. He thinks a vegetable will protect me. FML

#20163512
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16367) - you deserved it (2162)

On 11/14/2012 at 7:48pm - health - by duhasiangirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my girlfriend out bowling. The place was not only packed, but on my very first attempt, I stumbled and landed flat on my "sugarbuns" about 6 feet down the lane. Everyone pointed and laughed hysterically, including my girlfriend, who was on the floor almost in tears, enjoying my pain. FML

#8479975
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16367) - you deserved it (8138)

On 02/20/2010 at 1:58pm - misc - by moobysrocks - United States

Today, I got excited because a snowman I had built lasted a whole week, which is uncommon in my mild climate area. I thought myself lucky, and that my life was turning around. Then I realized how lame my whole train of thought was. FML

#8791627
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16365) - you deserved it (6873)

On 03/03/2010 at 1:10am - misc - by JoshuaRob - United States

Today, while at work, I was told by a man who had literally just gotten back from his mothers funeral to cheer up, I was depressing him. FML

#9063709
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16362) - you deserved it (5054)

On 03/14/2010 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I got my sister to pluck my eyebrows. She shaped them wrong, so now I look constantly sad. FML

#11849273
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16360) - you deserved it (24981)

On 07/13/2010 at 11:02am - misc - by OhNo - United Kingdom (Sheffield)



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