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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I opened the cabinet to take a pill for my headache. After taking the pill, I turned around and smashed my head on the open cabinet door. FML

#7475893
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25736) - you deserved it (7071)

On 01/21/2010 at 3:20pm - health - by imalwaystired - Sent from mobile version

Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML

#19393049
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25736) - you deserved it (2603)

On 04/02/2012 at 1:38am - kids - by baldspot (woman) - Australia

Today, the nicest thing said to me all day was from my microwave that flashes 'enjoy your meal' when it finishes cooking something. FML

#14872504
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25734) - you deserved it (3334)

On 02/06/2011 at 9:05pm - misc - by bymyself -

Today, I took my driver's test. I was so nervous that I peed my pants halfway through the exam. FML

#13910600
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25733) - you deserved it (16334)

On 11/20/2010 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my book bag was so heavy that it set off my car's passenger detection system in the front seat. I had to buckle in my textbooks. FML

#20068805
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25733) - you deserved it (3558)

On 09/12/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was working on a project in my schools library when a group of teenagers came in and began loudly talking and laughing. When I asked them to please quiet down, the librarian asked me to leave for being too loud. FML

#21420156
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25732) - you deserved it (2272)

On 06/03/2015 at 9:25am - misc - by NoUsernamHere - United States

Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML

#3308517
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25731) - you deserved it (47319)

On 06/28/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML

#18162397
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25731) - you deserved it (47151)

On 11/05/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by kdeeeceee - United States

Today, my dad found out that there is a free, 24 hour, 7 days a week religious channel. Now that's all he watches. FML

#19439898
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25729) - you deserved it (2729)

On 04/09/2012 at 10:33pm - misc - by awwman - United States

Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. While I was running on the treadmill, my beer belly pushed against the emergency stop button, twice. FML

#21427019
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25729) - you deserved it (4859)

On 06/16/2015 at 1:27pm - health - by Iarla_ceapaire93 - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was excited that my sister called me for the first time in months. She asked me to stop watching "Friends" so she could use the Netflix account. Now, I still have an absentee sister and no Friends. FML

#21346655
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25728) - you deserved it (2917)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my son told me he needed a haircut. I was thrilled that he actually requested it, since he normally throws a fit over getting them. He described the cut he wants. It's a mullet. FML

#19523693
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25730) - you deserved it (3051)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:59pm - kids - by DaveAlmighty (man) - United States

Today, I was on the arm of my couch trying to grab something from the bookshelf, and my boyfriend was below me. I asked, "So, would you catch me if I fell?" He looked back at me, paused for a moment before saying, "How much do you weigh again?" FML

#12141202
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25725) - you deserved it (7472)

On 07/27/2010 at 6:07am - misc - by mauimango7 (woman) - United States (California)



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