Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I picked off what I thought was a small bug feeding on my skin. I was wrong. It was a mole. I spent the last 30 minutes trying to stop the continuous bleeding. FML

#17514634
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23778) - you deserved it (9819)

On 08/18/2011 at 11:22pm - health - by c.hip - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a shower after basketball practice. When I got out of the shower I thought no one was home so I thought it might be fun to walk around the house completely naked. I walk downstairs and my mom was eating dinner. Along with 20 other members of her bookclub. FML

#311198
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23777) - you deserved it (65492)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:45pm - misc - by Jonnygiant (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got through to the phone interview stage for a great job. When the phone rang, I answered and suddenly, spontaneously, burped really loudly. The interviewer hung up. FML

#9396047
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23777) - you deserved it (9798)

On 03/26/2010 at 5:44am - work - by urrrppp (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I discovered that my new college roommate not only makes casual conversation about his bowel movements, he also names them. FML

#17512711
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23773) - you deserved it (2403)

On 08/18/2011 at 7:44pm - misc - by Bill - United States

Today, while I was working at child care, I told a two year old not to hit. He threw a bucket at me that bounced off my forehead. FML

#12910984
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23771) - you deserved it (4437)

On 09/05/2010 at 12:44am - kids - by kaytay2469 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on a plane when I suddenly felt the need to use the toilet. I didn't make it in time and I had to spend the remainder of my trip in soiled clothes. FML

#12903191
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23771) - you deserved it (14701)

On 09/04/2010 at 3:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I bought an otter box. While setting up my iPhone, I dropped it and it is now shattered. FML

#16944357
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23771) - you deserved it (7938)

On 07/02/2011 at 1:50am - money - by hunter168647 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I forced myself into work with severe laryngitis. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, except I work at candy and ice cream store at a major tourist destination. For seven hours I had to communicate with unsympathetic adults and screaming, bratty kids by miming and using a dry erase board. FML

#17152929
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23770) - you deserved it (7939)

On 07/17/2011 at 7:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

#20147554
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23770) - you deserved it (2807)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by i fking love docb - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML

#19860691
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23767) - you deserved it (3948)

On 06/28/2012 at 1:36pm - misc - by whoslade (man) - United States

Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML

#18435117
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23765) - you deserved it (2711)

On 12/05/2011 at 8:21am - misc - by areyouserial - United States

Today, I told my dad that I was going to sleep over my friends house this weekend with a few other guys to play Dungeons and Dragons. He responded with, "Oh, back in my day, me and my pals used to pick on the kids who played Dungeons and Dragons." FML

#2261901
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23763) - you deserved it (54641)

On 05/25/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by ninjawhat1337 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my husband sat me down on the couch so he could share some "awesome" news with me. He excitedly declared that he and his idiot drinking buddies are planning on running a real-life Fight Club out of our basement. FML

#19247748
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23763) - you deserved it (2884)

On 03/09/2012 at 9:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: