Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I needed to buy a new helmet. When I got to the sport shop, there was only one left in my size and preferred color. 30 minutes after buying it, my head starts itching. Turns out I paid $40 for lice. FML

#19319273
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24821) - you deserved it (2040)

On 03/21/2012 at 5:54am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend discovered you can send sound clips as text messages. So far I've heard 5 of his farts in the past half hour. FML

#19315515
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24822) - you deserved it (3664)

On 03/20/2012 at 6:33pm - love - by anonymous - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, I went to get my midterm essay grade thinking I couldn't have made lower than a B. Got to class and my douchebag professor gave me an F. He wrote "Best essay I read, would've been an A if it was the right topic." I wrote on the Industrial Revolution, instead of the Scientific Revolution. FML

#303227
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24818) - you deserved it (82840)

On 03/13/2009 at 2:08pm - misc - by Bamamomma01 (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out my little sister is a pyromaniac. She set my bed on fire. FML

#8775610
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24818) - you deserved it (2277)

On 03/02/2010 at 4:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my current girlfriend has dated all of my friends at one time or another. FML

#13372862
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24818) - you deserved it (4814)

On 10/09/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I told a girl that she had very pretty eyes. I then had to rinse pepper spray from my own. FML

#20059533
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24818) - you deserved it (2518)

On 09/05/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, as a support worker, I spent 45 minutes making various attempts to calm a violent autistic kid. Just as soon as I was sure the crisis was over, he beat me as hard as he could with the "Things I Can Do When I'm Mad" book I'd given him. FML

#18244836
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24816) - you deserved it (3332)

On 11/14/2011 at 8:37am - work - by metallifreak44 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML

#19391692
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24814) - you deserved it (2939)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was working at Tim Hortons. A lady was in line, and she couldnt make up her mind. 20 minutes later she finally decided to get something, and she reached in her pocket. I was hoping it was a tip, but she gave me a coupon for a haircut. FML

#6125529
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24813) - you deserved it (2777)

On 11/02/2009 at 8:15pm - misc - by justin_99 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally felt well enough to take an actual shower after having surgery on my back. It took five minutes to stand up, ten minutes to get to the shower, and another ten minutes to get in. The pilot light went out in less than five minutes. FML

#14732721
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24812) - you deserved it (2185)

On 01/27/2011 at 3:24pm - misc - by brrrr that's cold! - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mum read a forwarded email, and is now convinced that eating processed food will make my ovaries shrink and disappear. Now she goes batshit crazy if she sees me eating potato chips. FML

#18684418
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24812) - you deserved it (2512)

On 01/02/2012 at 7:18am - health - by sohungry (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, my boyfriend and I had the house to ourselves. We started getting a little frisky when we discovered we out of condoms. After a quick run to the store, we found ourselves locked out of the house. Now we have condoms, but no way to use them. FML

#489
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24811) - you deserved it (16093)

On 12/10/2008 at 2:31pm - intimacy - by AudreyUs - United States (California)

Today, I was saying goodbye to my boyfriend before I got on my bus. As I turned to get on, the door closed on my face. I knocked on the door. The driver looked at me, and while still staring at me, drove off. FML

#6235277
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24809) - you deserved it (4664)

On 11/09/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Tee (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: