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Today, I was late for work. Trying to cut a few seconds off the clock, I tried to open my breakfast candy bar while taking a piss. I ended up pissing all over myself and dropping the bar in the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7276) - you deserved it (25932)
On 10/11/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by Massasam - United States
Today, my friends and I were hanging out when we thought it would be cool to set off a few fireworks. Nothing burns quite like the hair on the left side of your head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7275) - you deserved it (26029)
On 06/25/2010 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was on AIM talking to a really cute guy, whom I've had a crush on for forever, when he asked me to video chat. I got so excited and immediately pressed accept, without thinking. Not until he started screaming and cursing did I realize that I was still using my laptop on the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7273) - you deserved it (51370)
On 12/14/2009 at 6:26pm - love - by toiletgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was at the pool when I saw a man eating the food I had ordered near my seat. I immediately ran up to him and asked him to stop stealing my food. I took the food away and threw it in the trash. Seconds later the attendant came out with my actual food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7272) - you deserved it (50639)
On 03/27/2013 at 9:02pm - misc - by Hahamaster333 -
Today, my sister and I bought new cell phones. We both wanted the same phone in red, but the guy told us that there was only one red phone left. Flirting with him, I said "You should give the prettier sister the red phone." My new phone is black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7271) - you deserved it (27130)
On 01/09/2010 at 12:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I had to drive 300 miles to a town where I thought I'd forgotten my purse the night before. When I got to the hotel I had been staying at, I found out it was actually in the trunk of my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7270) - you deserved it (29652)
On 06/09/2010 at 8:46pm - misc - by Caitlin - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I finally met the cute guy I've been seeing around town. Bad news is, I was drunk off my ass, and when he told me his name, I burst out laughing because it's the same as my puppy's. He did not take it well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7270) - you deserved it (22839)
On 11/28/2011 at 10:31am - love - by Anonymous -
Today, I finished doing a resume that I had spent three hours on. I e-mailed it to the business I was applying for, satisfied. I decided to look it over. The first thing I notice, I spelt my own name wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7268) - you deserved it (44074)
On 08/01/2009 at 3:20pm - work - by anonymouschicka (woman) - United States
Today, my boss and I were preparing a lunch order for a nearby real-estate agency. I noticed that the order was riddled with spelling mistakes, so I laughed and mocked the realtors calling them stupid and incompetent. My boss then pointed out that the order was written in his handwriting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7264) - you deserved it (26077)
On 05/25/2011 at 9:55am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Tasmania)
Today, I went shopping with a friend. She picked up a hundred dollars on the floor that somebody dropped. I told her, "I feel sorry for the retard who dropped the money." When I got home, I checked my purse and realized that I was missing a hundred dollars. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7262) - you deserved it (25910)
On 10/09/2010 at 5:27pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7260) - you deserved it (36874)
On 11/25/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by IlikeGreenPlants (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I photocopied several hundred pages of my school's textbook because I didn't want to buy it. My school later says to just buy it and it will be reimbursed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7260) - you deserved it (24980)
On 11/30/2011 at 10:52pm - work - by ChrisD2V - United States (California)
Today, I found out that while getting your hair cut, you should say 'yes' or 'no', instead of nodding your head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7258) - you deserved it (47330)
On 07/01/2010 at 12:55am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Friday 24 May 2013
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