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Today, my brother changed my Google+ name without asking. He has done this before and I fixed it by just changing it back. Turns out Google has a 3-time limit per year for how many times you can change your name. Now I'm stuck with "Poop" for my YouTube name for a year. FML

by KittKatt / 05/20/2015 at 1:34am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned I don't have a yeast infection. I have herpes. FML

by quiet_screaming_ / 06/30/2015 at 10:21pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I bought a new, expensive dress for a date. I left the tag on and hidden in hopes of returning it later. Someone saw it and ripped it off for me to "save me from embarrassment." FML

by unicorn_skies / 01/18/2014 at 3:33am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I went to take a piss in a public bathroom. Somehow, I managed to completely jam the lock. After minutes of trying to get myself out, I gave up and crawled under the stall, at which point someone walked in and was very surprised to see me on the floor. FML

by downinthedumps / 01/12/2015 at 9:47pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, and pretty much every day, my co-worker takes off her shoes while working. The smell of her feet makes me dizzy. I don't know if she's oblivious to the fact that her feet stink, or she just doesn't care. It's affecting the quality of my work. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2015 at 1:56am / Asia/Pacific Region / Work

Today, my sister and I drove 800 miles with her five-year-old, her two-year-old, and her two dogs. The two-year-old got carsick five times, adding an extra three hours to the trip. The kickers? My sister is sympathy spewer and neither of them chews food very well. FML

by longdrive / 07/25/2010 at 2:17am / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML

by Li / 03/23/2015 at 9:04pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realised that the most kisses I ever get are in text messages from my Dad. FML

by lovesucks / 12/18/2009 at 3:26pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Love

Today, I was pulled over. The cop seemed very familiar. Turns out he was a relative of mine whom I haven't spoken to in a very long time. We had decent conversation and caught up. He still gave me a ticket. FML

by Anonymous / 11/22/2011 at 10:09am / United States / Money

Today, I couldn't get to work because I couldn't find my car keys. It turns out, my mother took them and put them "somewhere safe." She can't remember where they are. FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2010 at 4:11am / United States (Washington) / Transportation

Today, as a going away present after five years of military service and one combat tour, the hospital scheduled me for a prostate exam. FML

by jonh_215 / 04/08/2011 at 12:09pm / United States / Health

Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML

by bitten / 05/15/2010 at 1:09am / United States (Wisconsin) / Health

Today, while I was on a second date with this guy, my roommate tried calling me and I ignored her. After dinner my date brought me back to my apartment and there was a waterfall gushing down from the balcony above our apartment. The guys above us had started a fire and our apartment was flooded. FML

by effinit / 10/30/2009 at 12:31am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous