Today, I found out that my ex gifted a special handcrafted necklace I made for him to his new girlfriend. She wears it on all her socials. FML
Today, my husband came home with his dick pierced. I shrieked in horror and told him to get it away from me. He's now sulking that I won't indulge his weird impulse and am refusing sex until he removes the piercing. FML
Today, my almost-mother-in-law demanded I give my engagement ring back because it was originally her great-grandmother's, and she has now decided she wants it to go to her youngest son’s fiancée instead. My fiancé agreed and told me he’d just buy me another. He doesn’t get why I’m so upset either. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed. He gave me a really unique ring that I absolutely loved… at first. When I showed it off to my friends, one of them laughed so hard that she started crying, and said it looks just like a vagina. She's right, and now I can't unsee it. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend about a diamond necklace I bought her for her birthday, which she didn't seem to be wearing. She then told me she hocked it to pay for her inexpensive phone bill. I paid $1,500 for that necklace, she received $300 from the pawn shop. FML
Today, my girlfriend found the engagement ring I'd bought. She looked at it and said, "This is pathetic. You shouldn't even bother." FML
Today, I came home to my mother-in-law wearing the gold chain which I usually keep in a hidden drawer. I searched my drawer only to find out my chain was missing. I asked my mother-in-law if she took it and she keeps denying the fact that she stole it from me. My husband is on her side. FML
Today, for my mom's birthday, I couldn't figure out what to get her, so I just took some of her jewelry, wrapped it up, and re-gifted it. She recognized it instantly. FML
Today, my girlfriend pawned in her mother's engagement ring so she could gamble at the pokies. FML
Today, as I was trying to impress my girlfriend of three months, I showed her the real diamond ring I'd got for my ex. She got an attitude for our whole three-hour car ride home because I'd brought up my ex. FML
Today, as I was translating for a patient to get an MRI, the tech asked if I had metal in my body. In front of the patient, I had to disclose that my nipples were pierced, so I couldn’t accompany the patient bedside. FML
Today, I got a warning at work for wearing my ear studs. Not only have I worn them the whole time for the last year I was here, I was unaware of this “rule.” I also was just told that the female employees are allowed to wear them, but men are not. “It looks unprofessional.” FML
Today, in preparation for proposing to my girlfriend, I borrowed one of her rings so I could discreetly get her ring size. Not only have I now lost the ring, which turns out to be a keepsake from her dead grandmother, I still don't know her ring size. FML
Today, I was staying over at my boyfriend's house, sleeping in his sister's room while she is away at college. I left my necklace on her dresser. When I came back, it was gone. His mother saw it there and thought it was her daughter's necklace. She hid it so I wouldn't "steal it". FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years donated his promise ring at the temple for it to be used to construct the idol's feet. The problem is that I made that ring for him from scratch and he didn’t even have it for 2 months. He was excited when he told me, and doesn’t understand why I’m upset. FML
Today, I found a necklace on Marketplace identical to one my wife lost years ago, so I agreed on a price and drove over to get it for Christmas. There was no necklace and I now know that prostitutes will pretend to sell an item they’re photographed wearing, when in fact they are selling themselves. FML
Today, we got a diamond delivered to our house. I was super confused until my husband admitted he’d taken the ashes of his grandparents and parents, my mom and my grandparents', and my auntie's, mixed them all together and sent them to one of those diamond making companies. I’m divorcing him. FML
Today, my wife ruined the gift I got for our 10 year anniversary by opening a package that was clearly addressed to me, finding the custom made necklace, and started wearing it straight away. I didn’t even know it had been delivered yet and boom, right there on her neck two weeks early. FML
Today, my baby mama got her septum pierced. It's funny that if I called her a cow, she’d likely break up with me. But she gets the same ring in her nose as a cow, and NO ONE is supposed to notice that. I can only think of cows when I see it. FML
Today, my fiancée is a Marvel fan, and insists her wedding ring be made of Palladium, the stuff that powers Iron Man’s heart. A ring in the style she wants costs almost £1000 and we are not wealthy, the budget for the entire wedding is only £4000, but she insists or she won’t marry me. FML
Today, while sorting through my deceased mother's hoard of belongings, I found myself holding a necklace composed entirely of teeth. Human teeth. FML
Today, I got a nipple piercing. My girlfriend thought I was pranking her with a fake piercing, because I wouldn’t be "daft enough" to get a real one, and she yanked it off, or rather through, my nipple. Yes, it cut my poor nip in half, and I now have two nipples where once I had only one. FML
Today, I took a ring to be cleaned, and the jeweler offered to clean all my rings, so I gave them to him. When he gave them back, he said he'd polished all the scratches on the wedding band. The “scratches” were the remains of the original engraving on my dead father's wedding band. FML
Today, my mother bought earrings with marijuana leaves on them to show her love of nature. She won’t believe me when I tell her that it’s a weed leaf, and wants to wear them to work. FML
Today, I found my wife crying. She said she’d lost her diamond ring. I backtracked her activities and suggested where to look. She found it in the fridge. She now thinks I hid it there. FML
Today, I was told I can’t wear a nose ring at my new job because several customers "don’t like it." It’s a very small nose ring and the job is a shack that serves food through a window. FML
Today, it was my 14-year anniversary. I'd spent weeks picking out a new gold wedding band for my husband. What did he get me? Nothing. Not even a happy anniversary text. FML
Today, I was scrolling through Instagram when I got a new follow suggestion. I checked her feed, and found out it was my ex-fiancé’s newest fiancée. And he'd proposed to her using an $185 ring I'd bought myself for my birthday last year. FML
Today, I saw a picture of my ex giving her new boyfriend an extremely familiar ring. Upon zooming in, I realized that it was the engagement ring I gave her that she claimed to have had stolen from her home. FML
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