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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I decided to save a few bucks and let my mother cut my hair. I then had to wait in the hospital for attention due to the fact that she cut the tip of my ear off. FML

#19654364
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27333) - you deserved it (4565)

On 05/20/2012 at 10:29pm - health - by thejbarrick50 - United States (New York)

Today, I came home to find my younger daughter left her silly band collection on the carpet in front of the fireplace. I now have melted unicorns and princesses stuck in my carpet. FML

#13716759
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27333) - you deserved it (4025)

On 11/04/2010 at 5:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the ER for extremely heavy bleeding related to my IUD birth control. They decided the best thing to do was remove it. An exam, two ultrasounds, and three x-rays later, the doctor comes back to tell me what's going on. Yeah, they can't find it. FML

Today, I went horseback riding with this guy I like. I asked him to help me get on the horse. I slipped, and while trying to keep my balance, I kicked him in the face. FML

#14267759
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27328) - you deserved it (5476)

On 12/20/2010 at 1:22am - love - by Me -

Today, I finally got up the nerve to invite the guy I like to hang out at my house. It was also the day my mother decided that our house is a "pants optional zone," and that she should implement that policy immediately. While he was at our house. FML

#14802343
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27328) - you deserved it (2696)

On 02/01/2011 at 9:01pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss bitched at me because my body language "indicates that you don't enjoy doing your job". I just have scoliosis. FML

#19972077
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27328) - you deserved it (1658)

On 07/22/2012 at 12:50am - work - by c - United States (Louisiana)

Today, after 4 years of nicely asking, I wrote an official memo to our logistics department, asking for new chairs for my subordinates. The logistics people came and concluded that there are more broken chairs than good ones, but suggested that perhaps we should all go on a diet. FML

#21372747
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27326) - you deserved it (2869)

On 03/11/2015 at 8:36pm - work - by Matei - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I've been dating a girl for a year and she's only touched my penis twice. Once by accident. FML

#1883
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27326) - you deserved it (12224)

On 01/20/2009 at 11:52am - love - by jobless - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML

#10539728
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27325) - you deserved it (2610)

On 05/15/2010 at 1:09am - health - by bitten (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I'm seven months into a twelve month deployment. I called my fiancée, and she dumped me. The worst part is that two days ago, I re-enlisted to go to a unit an hour away from her house. FML

#8846079
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27324) - you deserved it (2333)

On 03/05/2010 at 3:21pm - misc - by copenhagen20 - United States (Armed Forces Africa)

Today, I found out why I can't sleep at night. My wife switched my sleep aid pills with energy pills. FML

#20007763
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27324) - you deserved it (2438)

On 08/07/2012 at 1:59pm - love - by Blackfell - United States

Today, I was driving when I saw someone pulled over on the side of the road. Wanting to help, I pulled over. In so doing, I ran over a nail, which popped my tire. The guy had just pulled over to pee. FML

#17973264
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27323) - you deserved it (6137)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:27am - misc - by happyshit (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, it was my uncle's funeral. I wasn't very close with him, but I still wanted to be respectful. My boyfriend, being the jackass that he is, was singing the Spider Pig song from The Simpsons under his breath while making his fingers walk up my leg, trying to get under my skirt. FML

#20096195
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27322) - you deserved it (6799)

On 10/01/2012 at 12:23am - love - by SorryUncleTommy (woman) - United States (New York)



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