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Today, my mom admitted that the only reason she took me out for lunch was because she felt guilty over going on a massive shopping spree for my sister while I was forced to stay home alone. I thanked her for the Wendy's meal anyway. FML

#19478625
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25752) - you deserved it (1923)

On 04/16/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by Rebecca - United States (Connecticut)

Today, whilst still trying to potty train my puppy and keep her from both peeing and pooping in the house, my lactose intolerance kicked in full fledge. Every time I pass gas, she smells poop and believes it's okay to immediately drop a deuce on the carpet. FML

#21441958
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25751) - you deserved it (3656)

On 07/15/2015 at 7:15am - animals - by gassy - United States (Florida)

Today, I was overseeing a nativity play rehearsal. Things went fairly well, until a boy's grandma stormed in, ranting that Christmas is a "Pagan abomination", and shouting for him and his mom to leave with her. Half the kids were left in tears, and we had to cancel the rehearsal. FML

#20411999
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25750) - you deserved it (2829)

On 12/21/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by judge not, ye cunt (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, Me and my girlfriend went and saw "The Blind Side." I sobbed throughout the entire movie. My girlfriend didn't shed a tear. FML

#6509087
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25749) - you deserved it (14469)

On 11/29/2009 at 4:33am - love - by jimmyt420 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend thinks my house is filled with ghosts. She can only hear them when I fart. FML

#18145802
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25748) - you deserved it (5433)

On 11/03/2011 at 7:48am - misc - by Tyler Smith - United States

Today, I finally lost my virginity, all while in the passionate throes of an asthma attack. FML

#19989315
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25747) - you deserved it (2885)

On 07/28/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by feminista (woman) - Guatemala (Guatemala)

Today, my neighbor and I learned why fireworks are illegal in city limits. This lesson was learned shortly after a roman candle came crashing through my second story window. FML

#16980502
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25746) - you deserved it (7697)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, to keep my phone safe while I went on some rides, I took it out of my pocket so I could put it in my bag. Just as I pulled it out, a woman ran into me, knocking my phone to the ground and breaking the screen. FML

#17520336
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25744) - you deserved it (2465)

On 08/19/2011 at 2:59pm - misc - by bandit99999 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to wait thirty minutes after closing to check out a lady who was purchasing 20 different styles of curtains. I asked what she would be doing with them all, and she replied that she would be bringing 19 of them back tomorrow, as she didn't know which would match. FML

#21448838
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25744) - you deserved it (1692)

On 07/28/2015 at 11:04pm - work - by jlmbull - United States (Michigan)

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

#19932634
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25743) - you deserved it (2879)

On 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm - kids - by Marjorie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I opened the cabinet to take a pill for my headache. After taking the pill, I turned around and smashed my head on the open cabinet door. FML

#7475893
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25738) - you deserved it (7071)

On 01/21/2010 at 3:20pm - health - by imalwaystired - Sent from mobile version

Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML

#19393049
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25736) - you deserved it (2603)

On 04/02/2012 at 1:38am - kids - by baldspot (woman) - Australia

Today, I took my driver's test. I was so nervous that I peed my pants halfway through the exam. FML

#13910600
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25734) - you deserved it (16334)

On 11/20/2010 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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