Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my new neighbor informed me with great relish that the house I have just bought is haunted because 30 years ago a man shot himself in the kitchen. I'm now paying a huge mortgage on a house I'm frightened to be alone in. FML

#17104871
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21959) - you deserved it (8273)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:59am - misc - by Boo (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was boarding a plane and a woman's bag started to fall. In the spur of the moment I thrust my arm up to catch it. I didn't catch the bag, but I did catch her boob. I had to sit next to her for the rest of the flight. FML

#19243126
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21960) - you deserved it (2428)

On 03/08/2012 at 11:45pm - misc - by babymine - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that the so-called vegetarian soy sauce my mom has made for me several times has minced meat in it. FML

#9068336
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21957) - you deserved it (11793)

On 03/14/2010 at 6:21am - misc - by Vegetarian (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I lost two terabytes' worth of photos to a friend's incompetence. He said he could save me some money and fix my slow computer for free. He ended up wiping the hard drive, and along with it, my photography portfolio from the last five years. FML

#20032826
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21955) - you deserved it (14877)

On 08/20/2012 at 10:30pm - misc - by ThisGirl (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was practising the violin in my apartment. A man knocked on the door and introduced himself with a smile, saying he wanted to know my "schedule." I replied, "I'm pretty busy but maybe we could get a drink sometime." To which he replied, "No, I just want to know when you'll stop." FML

#11960471
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21952) - you deserved it (18288)

On 07/18/2010 at 10:18am - misc - by holly (woman) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I failed my driving test. I've been a legal driver in my home country for 8 years, but can't pass the test here. FML

#13789947
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21951) - you deserved it (13609)

On 11/10/2010 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat's personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him "Coach Daddy". I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML

#18998575
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21951) - you deserved it (4346)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by oh.geez (woman) - United States

Today, I moved back home after unsuccessfully trying to find work in Florida, despite living there for nine months. About 45 minutes into my 18-hour drive home, a TV station called me to offer me a job interview. I applied for that job over three months ago. FML

#19883197
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21951) - you deserved it (2027)

On 07/02/2012 at 10:22pm - work - by deweyd8855 - United States

Today, I realised my dad speaks to me the same way he speaks to my dog when she's done something bad. FML

#13459944
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21949) - you deserved it (3115)

On 10/15/2010 at 3:35pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my daughter has a hit list. There are over thirty names on there. My name is on it as well. FML

#20135128
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21948) - you deserved it (3376)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to an interview for a job at a company I've applied for numerous times this year. When I showed up at the interview room, I found it was a vacant office. I called and confirmed the address. I guess this was my hint to stop applying. FML

#17873678
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21947) - you deserved it (4105)

On 09/30/2011 at 8:23pm - work - by lyssamarie316 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a woman asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML

#19324398
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21947) - you deserved it (4992)

On 03/22/2012 at 12:56am - work - by Atheist (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

#19817936
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21946) - you deserved it (5811)

On 06/20/2012 at 10:09am - animals - by anonymous - United Kingdom



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: