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Today, I was walking down the hallway when someone opened a door, smashing it into me. The bump makes it look like I have a third boob. FML

#9158160
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23455) - you deserved it (3592)

On 03/17/2010 at 12:16pm - health - by Ouch (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found a pair of glasses in my car. I don't wear glasses, and nobody besides myself has been in my car lately. It appears that someone has been sleeping in my car and forgot their glasses. FML

#6836153
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23455) - you deserved it (2916)

On 12/19/2009 at 9:40pm - misc - by chrono64 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was called 15 times by a "good redneck boy" that my Mom is trying to set me up with. He has called me at least 5 times a day for the past week. My Mom is still encouraging him to call. I had to unplug the phone because I feel stalked in my own dorm. FML

#13776562
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23454) - you deserved it (2401)

On 11/09/2010 at 11:00am - misc - by snitcheyes (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was walking down the street in downtown Charleston where there are a lot of horse-drawn carriage tours and I decided to pick up some litter. Some of it was in a puddle of water, but after I picked up the trash, I realized the puddle was horse urine. FML

#5953331
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23453) - you deserved it (8673)

On 10/23/2009 at 12:22am - animals - by Leash (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I went to get a box of cereal and I knocked over a bottle of olive oil. It took me about half an hour to clean up. When I finally finished, I found out the box of cereal was empty. FML

#13842142
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23453) - you deserved it (3904)

On 11/14/2010 at 3:33pm - misc - by cerealfail -

Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML

#20054113
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23451) - you deserved it (3741)

On 09/02/2012 at 1:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finally jumped high enough to dunk on the ten foot rim. I caught my tooth on the net and nearly pulled my tooth out. FML

#8943287
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23450) - you deserved it (5642)

On 03/09/2010 at 10:32am - health - by supermanxs1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to point out the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" sign at my work to an extremely old, seemingly intoxicated man wearing an ill fitting speedo. FML

#14509671
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23450) - you deserved it (2210)

On 01/08/2011 at 3:35pm - work - by niiiiiiiiiikki - United States (Kansas)

Today, I noticed that my dog was feeling sad. I let him hop on my bed with me to make him feel better. It worked, right after he vomited all over my face and pillow. FML

#6408198
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23447) - you deserved it (5382)

On 11/22/2009 at 5:07pm - animals - by Annie (woman) - Mexico (Coahuila de Zaragoza)

Today, to wipe his crack, my boyfriend is still using a newspaper that I left there when he first started refusing to buy toilet paper. FML

#15025165
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23446) - you deserved it (5325)

On 02/18/2011 at 4:39am - health - by pandaface (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I was having a race with a little kid. I let him win to make him feel like a champion. After the race, he turned to me and said, "Maybe if you weren't so fat you would have won." FML

#20081429
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23445) - you deserved it (4024)

On 09/20/2012 at 10:40pm - kids - by tiredeolfatty (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was excited to start my new job. It was only when I was leaving after a long 8 hour day did I realize all of the personal documents I had I brought in for paperwork had been stolen. I am now down a passport, social security card, and wallet. Great first day. FML

#9123169
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23445) - you deserved it (3104)

On 03/16/2010 at 1:19am - work - by evenpoorer (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I changed all my plans, after months of him begging me to, so I could go to the same university as my long-term boyfriend. After I sent in my deposit, he told me we couldn't live together in college because I was "invading his space." FML

#13259314
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23446) - you deserved it (12845)

On 09/30/2010 at 1:31am - love - by stupidgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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