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Today, I excitedly checked the mail to see if my Halloween costume finally arrived. It didn't. I live in an isolated city, so finding a costume by any other means than the Internet was impossible. I spent over $100 for a costume that I won't even get to wear this year. FML

by nocostumeforme / 10/29/2011 at 12:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money

Today, my mom walked me to school to make sure I don't cut class. I'm 20 years old. FML

by My mom / 03/17/2010 at 9:10pm / Miscellaneous

Today, the 4-year-old I was babysitting came up to me all happy, saying she went to the bathroom like a "big girl". Knowing she was just potty trained, I asked if she'd remembered to flush. Looking at me confused, she said, "But it's in my room." FML

by AdoKitty / 06/10/2015 at 11:04pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my unemployed mother decided to yet again stay home and drink heavily. So far she's kicked me out of the house, tipped over our sofa and thrown her vibrator out the window. FML

by Deadcat101 / 07/10/2012 at 7:26pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommate and I noticed a foul smell in our apartment. After looking around for a little while, I found that her cat had pooped on a pair of my jeans, and apparently tried to cover it up by dragging a shirt over the mess. FML

by peteswentzbass / 01/26/2013 at 12:18pm / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Animals

Today, I saw a small child take a really bad fall off his scooter, so I got rid of my cigarette and ran to help him. I asked him if he was alright, or if I could walk him to his house. He replied "I'm okay, but your dress is on fire." It was. FML

by Laura / 09/21/2010 at 8:31pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was in a hot tub at a public sauna. After chatting with a friendly couple, I decided to go get some lunch. I was halfway out of the water when the man started laughing and said he'd thought I was a woman. I am. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2015 at 12:56pm / Netherlands (Limburg) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my 6-year-old son to visit his grandmother, as the doctors say she only has days left to live. Minutes after we arrived, he leaned in close and told her that she's going to hell. FML

by Anonymous / 06/05/2015 at 11:58am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 4 year old daughter was ripping out photos of the family photo book, I asked her why she was doing it she answered, "I saw mummy doing it to another book." The only other family photo book was the day we got married. FML

by Michael / 01/04/2010 at 3:50am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that my parents never ground me as a punishment because I don't get out enough for it to matter. FML

by evilparents / 11/01/2010 at 4:10pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML

by Tey / 12/21/2011 at 7:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, my boss bitched at me because my body language "indicates that you don't enjoy doing your job". I just have scoliosis. FML

by c / 07/22/2012 at 12:50am / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up after three years. I came home and when my dad asked what was wrong, I told him. His first reaction was, "Well damn it. Who'll go fishing with me now?" FML

by lovealways22 / 07/17/2012 at 3:19am / United States (Colorado) / Love