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Today, I was helping my Dad pick up the pieces of bark that came off the tree that we'd just cut down. I bent over to grab a dark looking piece of bark. Turn out it was my dogs crap. Fresh, warm, moist piece of crap to be exact. FML

#13363790
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24730) - you deserved it (8172)

On 10/08/2010 at 8:08am - animals - by themanzz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out the hard way what it sounds like when you take the first letter of my first name, A, and put it with my last name, Hole. FML

#18533442
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24730) - you deserved it (3525)

On 12/17/2011 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I went to the store and bought some cream to help with a sunburn I'd gotten a few days ago. What's worse than having red, peeling, and painful skin? An allergic reaction on top of it. FML

#8094322
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24728) - you deserved it (2490)

On 02/10/2010 at 3:59pm - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, I thought about my boyfriend and all the things we used to do together years ago. Today, I also spent the day doing my now husband's laundry and watching him sit on the couch with his hand inside his underwear. FML

#7957941
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24729) - you deserved it (5510)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:15am - love - by Bruja5 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my right shoulder and can barely move my arm. My friends keep asking if I'm sure it wasn't from jerking off too much. Truth is, I pulled it by playing on my computer too much. FML

Today, as a going away present after five years of military service and one combat tour, the hospital scheduled me for a prostate exam. FML

#15693766
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24727) - you deserved it (3585)

On 04/08/2011 at 12:09pm - health - by jonh_215 - United States

Today, I was so broke that I paid for a $0.28 candy bar with my credit card. FML

#16938704
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24727) - you deserved it (11417)

On 07/01/2011 at 5:47pm - money - by Username - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom reached the lowest point of her midlife crisis. She convinced herself she's psychic and grounded me for something she "knows" I'm going to do. FML

#19832041
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24727) - you deserved it (1619)

On 06/23/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Coffee Boy - United States (Missouri)

Today, after applying at over 30 businesses over the past 6 months, I have had not one single call. I later find out that I was using my old phone number on the applications, and my secondary phone was my mom's. She thought they were telemarketers. FML

#20922298
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24726) - you deserved it (41192)

On 10/16/2013 at 12:40am - work - by LFE - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were gazing into each others' eyes in the moonlight after not having seen each other for a week. I thought he was going to say "I love you" and pull me in for a kiss. Instead, he said, "Since you can’t drive, we should get one of those two seater bicycles." FML

#6489348
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24727) - you deserved it (8842)

On 11/28/2009 at 1:32am - love - by tjcl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad hurt his back. He went to a physical therapist who gave him some exercises to do. I have to watch him lie on his back and air hump while groaning every hour on the hour for the next two weeks. FML

#12991728
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24725) - you deserved it (4116)

On 09/10/2010 at 4:07pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that I have a highly irrational fear of little people. I made this self discovery when my mother introduced the family to her new fiancé. FML

#20487281
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24725) - you deserved it (4693)

On 01/31/2013 at 4:07am - misc - by Why Me? (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend got into the Christmas cheer while giving me a hand job, smashing my nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells. FML

#20188363
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24725) - you deserved it (3955)

On 12/02/2012 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by fineididntwantkidsanyway (man) - Australia (South Australia)



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