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Today, I was at the gym and as I was pulling out my earphones and getting off my treadmill, I heard the girl behind me say to her friend on the treadmill next to her, "Wow, there have no cute guys today." Her friend replied, "None at all. It's like everyone suddenly got gay or ugly." FML

#2709
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21121) - you deserved it (1841)

On 01/26/2009 at 5:19pm - misc - by Rothaar - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML

#20156617
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21119) - you deserved it (2784)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:16pm - health - by dating a fking cnt (man) - Canada

Today, formal portraits of my entire class were posted online, with about five photos per person. As my mom was looking at them, she was commenting about how pretty all my classmates look. When she got to my photos, all she had to say was "ugh". FML

#7222160
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21117) - you deserved it (2162)

On 01/08/2010 at 7:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dog managed to pull a one-pound package of raw bacon out and eat the entire package including the cardboard. The vets cheered when they finally got him to puke up the entire, unchewed package of bacon. FML

Today, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while. I swear I couldn't help it when the words "Wow, I bet you really regret that haircut." came out of my mouth. FML

#21074690
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21108) - you deserved it (39522)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, after my annoying neighbor who used to spend hours playing the cello in the apartment below me finally moved out, I found out that I have a new musical neighbor moving in. This fellow plays the bagpipes. FML

#20067181
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21107) - you deserved it (2437)

On 09/11/2012 at 2:11am - misc - by PissedbythePiper (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend bumped into me at McDonald's. I was sitting alone at a table with a big mac, two large fries, a large drink and 1 case of chicken nuggets. FML

#7732342
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21104) - you deserved it (32434)

On 01/31/2010 at 1:44am - love - by tammy999 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was talking to my co-workers about how I've sadly been an orphan since an early age. One of them exclaimed, "Hey, just like Batman!" FML

#19557716
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21100) - you deserved it (4439)

On 05/01/2012 at 9:58am - work - by Nice (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my little sister came to me crying about how everyone calls her a bad driver. I gave her a pep talk, an encouraging hug, and told her not to listen to negativity. Five minutes later she wrecked my car. FML

#19575852
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21100) - you deserved it (7309)

On 05/05/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by 464424 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. When I got home from work, I came home to glitter. EVERYWHERE. Guess who forgot to get the key to his apartment back from his ex-girlfriend. The guy who's having his family over for dinner tonight. FML

#13064737
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21100) - you deserved it (11678)

On 09/15/2010 at 7:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss asked me if he could pay me in gum. Thinking he was playing around, I agreed. He wasn't playing around. FML

#19921973
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21101) - you deserved it (8663)

On 07/11/2012 at 1:29am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my boss for a raise. He gave me a cupcake. FML

#19235270
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21098) - you deserved it (3320)

On 03/07/2012 at 8:08pm - work - by Janitor (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I walked in on my daughter attempting to iron her pants with a hair straightener. She's 17. FML

#19590770
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21098) - you deserved it (5546)

On 05/08/2012 at 2:08am - kids - by SomePeoplesKids - Canada (Alberta)



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