Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I attended the wrong funeral. I spent twenty minutes trying to hide and walk away without being too conspicuous. FML

#15112271
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24961) - you deserved it (7902)

On 02/25/2011 at 7:18am - misc - by Arlbethere (woman) - United Kingdom (Northumberland)

Today, my social anxiety got so bad that I'm now afraid to add people on Facebook. FML

#17686086
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24961) - you deserved it (6442)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:23am - health - by pottie69 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend out of the blue told me I wasn't fat, that my stomach was flat and it was only my butt that was big. I thought that this was a compliment. His response? "Not at all". FML

#5886
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24960) - you deserved it (2469)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Noname - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was trying to be-friend a boy who was sitting alone. He had his gameboy nearly plastered to his eyes. I, cleverly, say to him, "Geeze don't put that thing so close, your eyes will fall out!" He took off his sunglasses, eyes going crooked, and said, "I'm legally blind." Insert foot here. FML

#2478
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24958) - you deserved it (8354)

On 01/24/2009 at 7:27pm - kids - by thatsjustgreat - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a cute guy asked for my phone number and I gladly gave it to him. I was feeling really good about myself for getting hit on by the star football player. That was until he called 8 times and left 5 messages. In 2 hours. FML

#6804648
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24958) - you deserved it (9131)

On 12/18/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by WhoaThere (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized I want school to start again so that I won't be sitting alone in my room all day anymore. FML

#14389923
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24959) - you deserved it (6651)

On 12/30/2010 at 12:48am - misc - by loneliness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML

#17734128
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24958) - you deserved it (9697)

On 09/13/2011 at 2:05am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my roommate finally cleaned her cat's very full litter box. I later found our only good spatula crusted with kitty feces, which she'd left on the kitchen counter for me to find. FML

#18772974
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24958) - you deserved it (2046)

On 01/11/2012 at 2:47am - animals - by GrossedOut (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I played a game with my boyfriend. The point of the game is to write down everything you like about someone. I put down at least ten things for him. He had one thing down for me: my boobs. FML

#19469984
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24958) - you deserved it (5524)

On 04/15/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Were do we go... - United States

Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML

#20480007
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24959) - you deserved it (8248)

On 01/26/2013 at 4:51pm - misc - by go snope yourself (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to get my midterm essay grade thinking I couldn't have made lower than a B. Got to class and my douchebag professor gave me an F. He wrote "Best essay I read, would've been an A if it was the right topic." I wrote on the Industrial Revolution, instead of the Scientific Revolution. FML

#303227
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24957) - you deserved it (83165)

On 03/13/2009 at 2:08pm - misc - by Bamamomma01 (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24957) - you deserved it (45605)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, I was going for a walk and I kept smelling pee wherever I went. After about an hour, I finally figured out that the smell was me. My dog had peed on my sweatshirt. FML

#19166292
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24956) - you deserved it (4829)

On 02/26/2012 at 7:28am - animals - by katams - United States



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: