Love, Sex and Awkward: I hear you telephone thing, listening in

I hear you telephone thing, listening in

By Anonymous - 09/05/2023 22:00

Today, I've been talking to a chick since early this year and she seems to like me a lot. We were both drinking heavily and were talking on the phone, having a really good time. Suddenly it hangs up. I get her back on the phone just a few minutes later only to hear her getting the bottom knocked out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 270

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Same thing different taste

News to me

By looz - 29/12/2008 07:21 - France

Today, I went out for a drink with my girlfriend. Everything was going smoothly until her phone rang, she took the call and cut whoever it was off quite quickly by saying, "I can't talk right now, I'm in the middle of a break-up." I certainly wasn't aware. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 888

You deserved it 2 147

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 05:20 - United States

Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 606

You deserved it 4 790

On the sauce

By drinkdrankdrunk - 27/09/2013 07:33 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 251

You deserved it 17 911

By badluckryan - 25/09/2012 13:38 - United States - Uxbridge

Today, I received a drunken prank call from a girl I didn't know around 1am. I don't know what's sadder, that I carried out the conversation for 30 minutes, or that this was the first girl to call me in over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 523

You deserved it 2 952

Cheers

By ineedanotherdrink - 07/08/2009 09:43 - United States

Today, I went out drinking with a friend I've been crushing on for a while now. After we'd been talking and had a few, she said, "Man, I haven't gotten laid in months! Do you mind?" Surprised but hopeful, I nodded. She leaned over, hugged me, and went to hit on a guy by the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 821

You deserved it 5 522

By CP19JK12KH - 03/01/2010 09:56 - United States

Today, I had a rare phone call from my ex-girlfriend. We ended up talking for hours about old times. It was the best conversation we have had in forever, it made me miss her and miss us. Later on in the day, she called back asking what we talked about. She was too high too remember. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 913

You deserved it 4 013

By Clader - 10/12/2008 03:09 - France

Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 612

You deserved it 2 882

By Anonymous - 15/05/2013 20:21 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 649

You deserved it 4 567

By depressed - 22/02/2010 07:23 - United States

Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 816

You deserved it 26 454

By pocketrocket90 - 08/08/2014 06:05 - Australia - Capalaba

Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her". The conversation ended with me getting hung up on because I "don't have a heart". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 399

You deserved it 5 327

dreams2383 18

Tuesday 9 May 2023 23:34

is that a new saying for sex? I don't know what your trying to say

Iamthebanzai22 20

Tuesday 9 May 2023 23:49

Well, you had like 4 months to actually meet her and you didn't. So someone else did. How long did you expect her to wait?

Comments

dreams2383 18

Tuesday 9 May 2023 23:34

is that a new saying for sex? I don't know what your trying to say

xaddrus 17

Tuesday 9 May 2023 23:37

idk man. if she was drunk she might regret it

Iamthebanzai22 20

Tuesday 9 May 2023 23:49

Well, you had like 4 months to actually meet her and you didn't. So someone else did. How long did you expect her to wait?

that dude you know 4

Thursday 11 May 2023 2:56

She kept me waiting

Iamthebanzai22 20

Sunday 14 May 2023 2:26

Yeah... Sorry about that mate, these things happen. I guess in future, check for red flags like excessive stalling. I know that we all overcommit to these online things to the point where we will build the perfect person in our head around what we know about the actual person who may be nothing like that. Anyway, if she is not as committed to meeting you as you are to her, cut and run. After a few one sided courtships myself, I can report that when it comes from both sides it really is awesome. Hang in there.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 10 May 2023 10:50

A little less conversation, baby, a little more action. I'll bet the dude banging her was an Elvis fan. He was giving her a hunka-hunka burning love while you moped around in Heartbreak Hotel, ya hound dog.

that dude you know 4

Friday 12 May 2023 23:48

JUST GOT CONFIRMATION! IT WAS HER HUSBAND!!!!

that dude you know 4

Saturday 13 May 2023 19:09

Found out she’s been married this whole time and been living a HUGE lie. She admitted to everything after her husband contacted me…. Always trust your intuition ladies and gentlemen… Till this day, it has served me true and it feels good.