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Today, I got a date for Valentine's Day. The date is with my orthodontist; he's going to tighten my braces. FML

#18984766
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22557) - you deserved it (3219)

On 02/03/2012 at 3:47pm - misc - by tooembarassed - United States

Today, while babysitting, one of the boys fell on an exposed pipe and broke it. It spewed water five feet into the air, spread water across four rooms, and completely soaked another of the boys. Their parents had only left fifteen minutes before. FML

#19112192
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22553) - you deserved it (2640)

On 02/19/2012 at 12:49am - kids - by CamoElla - United States

Today, I discovered I can properly operate the television remote with my feet. I then realized that it is pretty much my only talent. FML

#17280926
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22551) - you deserved it (7867)

On 07/27/2011 at 6:21pm - misc - by supergirl7 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mum read a forwarded email, and is now convinced that eating processed food will make my ovaries shrink and disappear. Now she goes batshit crazy if she sees me eating potato chips. FML

#18684418
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22551) - you deserved it (2326)

On 01/02/2012 at 7:18am - health - by sohungry (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, while on the train to university, I realized it was my stop and quickly stood up to get off. Or I would have, if my leg hadn't gone to sleep and caused me to fall, landing face first into the crotch of the old guy in front of me. FML

#19373619
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22551) - you deserved it (2455)

On 03/29/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by LassieToe (woman) - Australia

Today, I had a dream I was on the toilet taking the longest piss known to man. Unfortunately, it was partially true. FML

Today, I missed an important phone call. It's been so long since someone has called me that I didn't recognize my own ringtone. FML

#19195246
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22549) - you deserved it (3759)

On 03/01/2012 at 11:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand

Today, after months of job searching I got a job interview. I also later got a phone call from the manager informing me they burned down, and all current employees will be relocated or dismissed, and that my interview, scheduled for tomorrow, is postponed indefinitely. FML

#14184991
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22545) - you deserved it (1908)

On 12/12/2010 at 11:19pm - work - by Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, I finally admitted that I have to consider buying a nose hair trimmer. I'm a woman. FML

#17894495
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22546) - you deserved it (3627)

On 10/03/2011 at 8:08am - health - by smsmall - United States

Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

#4155124
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22544) - you deserved it (54969)

On 07/30/2009 at 5:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I woke up excited to go trick-or-treating, the treat being candy. Instead, my town has officially postponed Halloween due to blackouts. I guess this is where the trick comes in. FML

#18121286
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22544) - you deserved it (3239)

On 10/31/2011 at 3:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't know what I was going to do over the Christmas holidays since he was going to be out of the country. He suggested that I work out and do some sit-ups. FML

#18550542
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22543) - you deserved it (7792)

On 12/19/2011 at 1:31am - love - by Doy (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, we had our friends over for dinner, one of whom is a psychiatrist. After a few drinks, my drunk wife and the equally drunk psychiatrist began to analyze my various character flaws. FML

#7969441
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22544) - you deserved it (2529)

On 02/07/2010 at 10:37am - misc - by bystander (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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  • The Best of the Worst #11
  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

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