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Today, I've been diagnosed with a severe lung infection. This causes me to viciously hack up a lung every two minutes or so. Not only can I barely breathe as it is, my job requires lots of running around, cleaning and interacting with customers. I have a five-hour shift tonight. FML

#19529513
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16190) - you deserved it (1406)

On 04/25/2012 at 9:27pm - health - by MissMae93 (woman) - United States

Today, I was upset over a recent break up. It showed while I was at work, and I made a customer sad just by looking blue. She complained to my manager. I got written up for being so depressed that I got a customer depressed too. FML

#19993921
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16184) - you deserved it (2064)

On 07/31/2012 at 2:42am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got marinara sauce on my new white shirt. I went in my desk for my Tide-To-Go pen and started using it on the spot. Turns out orange highlighters look a lot like Tide-To-Go pens when you don't look closely enough. FML

#3249982
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16182) - you deserved it (44128)

On 06/26/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by Saucy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend picked me up from school. It was an unusually sweet gesture from him, and I was flattered. That is, until he told me to sit my ass in the back, so his dog could ride in front with him. FML

#20082214
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16181) - you deserved it (3076)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:10pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a woman at the crowded mall stopped me and told me loudly that if I bought her product it would get rid of my acne. FML

#974
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16180) - you deserved it (1573)

On 01/11/2009 at 3:59pm - health - by EpicFail - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am. FML

#19129332
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16181) - you deserved it (17035)

On 02/21/2012 at 3:10am - intimacy - by desperate905 - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I had sex with a guy. As he was sleeping next to me, I checked his facebook messages and saw that he sent a message to one of his buddies asking what kind of lotion helps get rid of crabs. FML

#4051
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16178) - you deserved it (56202)

On 01/31/2009 at 10:04am - intimacy - by DDD - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went for a job briefing, and after that was told to do some editing for them. When I asked the person whether I was paid for the day, she laughed and said no. She was serious. FML

#8606116
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16175) - you deserved it (2310)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:19am - work - by synn - Singapore

Today, between my cats scratching every surface they can find, my boyfriend's snoring, and the dog barking at every slight noise outside, I'm unlikely to ever get more than 3 hours of sleep at a time. FML

#14459175
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16175) - you deserved it (5188)

On 01/04/2011 at 2:30am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML

#19873141
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16175) - you deserved it (1906)

On 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm - misc - by pissed off -

Today, I found out that the tinsel on my Christmas tree is worth a couple of hundred euros per strand. Well, that's how much the two that were surgically removed from my cat have cost me. At least the cat's going to be fine. FML

#20410843
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16175) - you deserved it (11894)

On 12/21/2012 at 5:02am - animals - by I Like My Cat (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I was eating lunch with my wife. We were having a nice time when a man came up to me. He said, "Hey! Bill how are you?" I wasn't really sure, so being polite I said, "I'm sorry, I can't remember your name." He frowned and walked away. It was my company's Chairman of the Board. FML

#2792328
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16174) - you deserved it (47430)

On 06/11/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by silly_billy (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that the only thing I learned from my first serious relationship was how to fake an orgasm. FML

#6024374
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16170) - you deserved it (3805)

On 10/27/2009 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by kjirut (woman) - Norway (Oslo)



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