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Today, I was getting off the bus, when these two guys behind me started commenting on my bag, oblivious to the fact that I could hear them say, "Look at his ugly man-purse," and "It that looks like the satchel that Indiana Jones has". I'm a girl. Who is planning majoring in fashion studies. FML

#7370561
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27287) - you deserved it (8639)

On 01/16/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by Indiana (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. After dessert, he went to the bathroom so I quickly called the waiter over and paid the bill, thinking it was a nice gesture. When he returned, he broke up with me for "emasculating" him. FML

#20180957
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27287) - you deserved it (4367)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:36am - love - by Clementine (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dog ran away. I looked for him for 5 hours, and when I came back home, he was waiting for me at the door. FML

#21423389
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27286) - you deserved it (3798)

On 06/09/2015 at 2:39pm - animals - by dBLIZZARD - United States

Today, as my girlfriend and I were on a romantic dinner for two, I tried pulling out the chair for her. She fell. FML

#17737171
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27285) - you deserved it (6023)

On 09/13/2011 at 4:13pm - misc - by jake (man) - United States

Today, a little girl looked at me and yelled "Mommy look, there's a real leprechaun!" FML

#19296318
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27287) - you deserved it (2737)

On 03/17/2012 at 8:48pm - kids - by Redhead4life (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML

#20164794
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27285) - you deserved it (3116)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by needanewride - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the 4-year-old I was babysitting came up to me all happy, saying she went to the bathroom like a "big girl". Knowing she was just potty trained, I asked if she'd remembered to flush. Looking at me confused, she said, "But it's in my room." FML

#21424205
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27285) - you deserved it (2121)

On 06/10/2015 at 11:04pm - kids - by AdoKitty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend actually slept with one of the celebrities on her "5 celebrities we're allowed to sleep with" list. FML

#21515102
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27287) - you deserved it (12947)

On 01/14/2016 at 7:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I painted my daughter's bedroom. When I wasn't paying attention, the cat walked through the paint tray. There are now Barney purple paw prints all over the house. FML

#16728173
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27280) - you deserved it (8882)

On 06/18/2011 at 12:10pm - animals - by Barney - United States (Indiana)

Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML

#19207312
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27279) - you deserved it (7699)

On 03/03/2012 at 3:06am - health - by bannana0zoom - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I saw a small child take a really bad fall off his scooter, so I got rid of my cigarette and ran to help him. I asked him if he was alright, or if I could walk him to his house. He replied "I'm okay, but your dress is on fire." It was. FML

#13147361
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27276) - you deserved it (16776)

On 09/21/2010 at 8:31pm - misc - by Laura - United States

Today, at work, a woman fainted, and an extremely attractive cop came in to help. I ended up running into him an hour later. Seeing as though I'm not very shy or a nervous person, I struck up a conversation with him, thinking it must be fate. I ended up fumbling my words so much he asked if I was drunk. FML

#13733667
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27276) - you deserved it (7092)

On 11/06/2010 at 12:40am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my roommates sent a relationship request to my one night stand with my Facebook account. She accepted, and sent me a long message confessing her love for me. I can't remember her. FML

#18070984
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27274) - you deserved it (20514)

On 10/25/2011 at 8:42am - love - by birgz (woman) -



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