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Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML

#19102650
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20333) - you deserved it (5143)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML

#12959324
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20332) - you deserved it (29946)

On 09/08/2010 at 2:53am - intimacy - by dom - United States

Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML

#20037445
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20329) - you deserved it (1531)

On 08/23/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was brushing my teeth when I looked up. There was a huge scorpion dangling on the air vent above my head. I was trapped in the bathroom for over an hour trying to build the courage to run out. FML

#19908614
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20329) - you deserved it (5815)

On 07/08/2012 at 5:47am - animals - by scorpionsurviver - United States

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

#20188881
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20328) - you deserved it (7842)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was renovating the house, and my girlfriend asked, "Do you use electrical tape on electrical stuff?" Not knowing where she was going with this, I just gave her a puzzled look. She continued by saying, "Because it's not like people use duct tape on ducks." FML

#20158312
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20327) - you deserved it (2818)

On 11/11/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Danny - United States (Utah)

Today, I attended a formal banquet. The host was delivering a speech, when I felt the urge to pee, so I tried to quietly excuse myself. My chair screeched over the floor as I got up, I tripped over my own feet, and I accidentally took the door leading outdoors, where I ended up peeing in shame. FML

#19613905
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20326) - you deserved it (3594)

On 05/12/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by Andy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML

#20442267
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20325) - you deserved it (11108)

On 01/04/2013 at 5:13am - health - by idiot - Sweden

Today, I swapped a shift so I didn't have to work on new year's eve. An hour later I realized I didn't have anyone to spend it with. I swapped it back. I'll be ringing in the new year with my boss. FML

#14379512
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20324) - you deserved it (3719)

On 12/29/2010 at 5:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while my mom was out, my family agreed upon the assumption that she has a "shopping problem." I argued against it for quite a while, until she pulled up minutes later with a what seemed like a life-time supply of canned condensed milk. FML

#13016642
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20321) - you deserved it (4335)

On 09/12/2010 at 7:34am - money - by concernedson - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was on a webcam with my friend. We were joking around so I stood up and flashed her. Her grandma choose that second to walk past and look at the screen. Her grandma now thinks were lesbians and that I'm a whore. FML

#416306
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20319) - you deserved it (69972)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by webcammistake (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to blow up an air mattress using only my lungs. After nearly passing out from lack of oxygen, I realized there was a hole in it. FML

#16454876
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20314) - you deserved it (25778)

On 06/01/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by ven980 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, a homeless lady decided she needed to change underwear in the middle of the sidewalk. I turned around just in time to see her legs in the air with no undies on. I can never eat salami again. FML

#19988661
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20313) - you deserved it (2051)

On 07/28/2012 at 4:07am - misc - by em from Cali - United States (California)



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