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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, it's my birthday. My parents, whom I live with, told me that they did not get me anything, but instead they said they would knock off a bit of the housekeeping I owe them. FML

#15185278
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24211) - you deserved it (7597)

On 03/03/2011 at 9:21am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I awoke to my cat with micro pellets all over him. He'd destroyed a pillow containing them, and now there are thousands of these pellets throughout the entire house. My vacuum is broken. FML

#17643639
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24211) - you deserved it (4041)

On 09/02/2011 at 10:56am - animals - by PghSportsNation - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a woman evidently posted on a chat website asking for any young men to send pictures of their junk to her cell phone. Over 60 messages were sent, mostly by underage boys, most of them including the picture. Only problem. The number posted wasn't hers... It was mine. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML

#6137228
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24208) - you deserved it (2180)

On 11/03/2009 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by buckid310 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my son told me he needed a haircut. I was thrilled that he actually requested it, since he normally throws a fit over getting them. He described the cut he wants. It's a mullet. FML

#19523693
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24207) - you deserved it (2907)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:59pm - kids - by DaveAlmighty (man) - United States

Today, I'm faced with the prospect of having to defend my sister from a herd of very angry bronies. FML

#21368771
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24207) - you deserved it (2095)

On 03/05/2015 at 5:34pm - misc - by Why? - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom and I heard a thump from inside the coat closet. I opened the door, and something fell on me. My mom, who was behind me, screamed, closed the laundry room door, and ran into the garage, leaving me to face the alleged attacker. It was the vacuum. FML

#17820631
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24206) - you deserved it (2434)

On 09/24/2011 at 12:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my young son swung a plastic pipe, it makes a kind of whistling sound as it spins around. I was standing a little too close, luckily it missed both my legs, but hit my happy sacks full on. FML

#7297825
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24205) - you deserved it (5165)

On 01/12/2010 at 10:27am - kids - by Dr_Dolittle (man) - United Kingdom (Merseyside)

Today, I found out what it feels like to get hit in the head with a bat. Not the wooden kind though. The one that bites and claws you when it gets stuck in your hair. FML

#19309925
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24205) - you deserved it (1741)

On 03/19/2012 at 9:03pm - animals - by CA19oo - United States (Georgia)

Today, I spent two hours filling out an online application and questionnaire for a potential employer. The application stated that there were no right or wrong answers and to answer truthfully. I was automatically rejected. FML

#18853580
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24204) - you deserved it (4993)

On 01/19/2012 at 2:45pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while I was working my shift at the store, my girlfriend appeared and asked to talk to me. Once we were alone, she burst into tears and started sobbing. Turns out someone's dad died in her favorite TV show and she wanted some comfort. FML

#19959059
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24202) - you deserved it (2939)

On 07/19/2012 at 1:36pm - love - by Mitch (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I went to get my midterm essay grade thinking I couldn't have made lower than a B. Got to class and my douchebag professor gave me an F. He wrote "Best essay I read, would've been an A if it was the right topic." I wrote on the Industrial Revolution, instead of the Scientific Revolution. FML

#303227
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24201) - you deserved it (81531)

On 03/13/2009 at 2:08pm - misc - by Bamamomma01 (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found the only man who hates sex. He's my boyfriend. FML

#6773256
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24199) - you deserved it (3855)

On 12/16/2009 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Unsatisfied (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend and I were filming football practice and talking about what guys on the team were attractive and who we would want to get it on with. We didn't realize that the camera was recording everything that we said. The tape was played to the entire team the next day. With sound. FML

#600956
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24197) - you deserved it (118790)

On 03/25/2009 at 3:31pm - misc - by Lady_Luck (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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