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Today, my boyfriend and I went mini golfing with his family. We had a competition going on, and when I managed to get two consecutive holes in one, he started seething and muttered that I'm dangerously close to becoming single. FML

#19652024
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25478) - you deserved it (2906)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:20pm - misc - by Jacquelinez (woman) - United States

Today, I found out just how easy it is to be launched against the wall and sucker-punched into oblivion by a 200-pound former Marine turned professional body-builder. I discovered this after I told my fiancée's dad that we were expecting a baby. FML

#19867923
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25477) - you deserved it (4202)

On 06/29/2012 at 7:57pm - health - by fuckjuggalos (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML

#18610644
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25476) - you deserved it (2262)

On 12/25/2011 at 8:35pm - misc - by laststand11 - Reserved

Today, I took my two-year-old daughter swimming. While sitting in the hot tub, my daughter pointed to the elderly man sitting across from us and mumbled something. I couldn't understand her, so I asked her to repeat it. After two more attempts, she shouted, "MOM! He has big boobs!" FML

#13912441
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25473) - you deserved it (6827)

On 11/20/2010 at 2:07pm - kids - by Lexi - Canada

Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my dad about my worries for my mental health. He then told me about the tracking device the aliens had implanted in his hand when they abducted him. There's nothing like family. FML

Today, I was seated, once again, at the "too small" children's table. I'm twenty. FML

#13977736
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25470) - you deserved it (2914)

On 11/25/2010 at 6:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my reward for topping three of the four employee performance charts was a paycut. FML

#7010601
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25468) - you deserved it (2013)

On 12/29/2009 at 6:42am - work - by Stumanji (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML

#17597789
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25470) - you deserved it (5194)

On 08/27/2011 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity". I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML

#18914939
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25468) - you deserved it (2958)

On 01/26/2012 at 9:49am - love - by The Towel Molester (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I met my boyfriends mother for the first time and hoped to make a good first impression. When I tried to say 'Hello', a loud rippling burp comes up from my throat. And not only that. A small chunk of mucus flies out and lands on the floor between us. So much for a good first impression. FML

#7063669
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25467) - you deserved it (5177)

On 12/31/2009 at 7:06pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML

#17396996
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25467) - you deserved it (3094)

On 08/07/2011 at 1:14pm - kids - by SheaLili - United States (California)

Today, I gathered the courage to participate in a class discussion. My professor laughed at me. FML

#2972
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25466) - you deserved it (2286)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:03am - misc - by Noname - United States (Texas)

Today, someone stole the massive pumpkin I've been painstakingly growing all year. What did they do with it? They put it in the middle of a busy intersection. FML

#20098412
122 comments


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