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Today, after confessing my love for my best friend, he looked at me and said "I'm not feeling it. But does this mean we can have sex?" FML

#7618857
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20609) - you deserved it (3053)

On 01/27/2010 at 7:09pm - intimacy - by Boned...hard - Sent from mobile version

Today, my upstairs neighbor was leaving the parking lot, and stopped to wave. I smiled and waved back, only to realize that she was saying goodbye to her cat, who was sitting in the window. FML

#17966931
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20606) - you deserved it (3116)

On 10/12/2011 at 11:41am - animals - by octoberrain - United States

Today, I was planning to start my fitness regime and lose weight, using the bike that had been lying unused in my garden for the past six months. Tonight, the bike was stolen from my garden. FML

#18802834
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20604) - you deserved it (5493)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:51am - misc - by baby shak - United States

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

#19030539
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20603) - you deserved it (9294)

On 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm - work - by Silver_Samurai (man) - Netherlands

Today, I realized the only reason why my boyfriend spends the night with me is because my house is closer to his job than his, and so he saves money on gas. FML

#20107548
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20601) - you deserved it (2548)

On 10/08/2012 at 2:57pm - love - by habsgurl0622 - United States (Alabama)

Today, my sister-in-law was diagnosed with breast cancer. My mother then confided in me that she suspected it was a prank to get more money from our family. FML

#20125135
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20600) - you deserved it (1357)

On 10/20/2012 at 11:10am - misc - by iamsolid - United States

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

#19066178
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20599) - you deserved it (4150)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm - kids - by Username - India

Today, I went to my first party, hoping to maybe meet some people. I was there for 4 hours, and the person/thing that I interacted most with was a cat. FML

#19009363
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20597) - you deserved it (6254)

On 02/06/2012 at 10:32am - misc - by haileypaige123 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my wife allowed my mother-in-law to move in with us. She believes the government spies on her in the shower, and that the Prime Minister is a shape-shifting lizard who wants to microchip us all. I have to live with this psychotic wench until someone is desperate enough to employ her. FML

#19662623
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20597) - you deserved it (2226)

On 05/22/2012 at 2:42pm - misc - by fuq (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I accidentally downloaded a virus, which hijacked my email program. I somehow doubt the Dean at my university will thank me for my suggestion that he too could experience 100% natural male enhancement pills. FML

#8874142
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20596) - you deserved it (5283)

On 03/06/2010 at 5:44pm - misc - by smarie09 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

#8956566
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20595) - you deserved it (2386)

On 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm - misc - by Al (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a train hit me. A slow mini-train full of kindergartners who were on a tour of the museum I was visiting. FML

#19004597
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20589) - you deserved it (5682)

On 02/05/2012 at 9:14pm - health - by MahSquito (man) - United States

Today, I realized that I hadn't seen my video camera in a while. After searching for several minutes in my room, I remembered that I had given it to my dad to hide before our month long trip (so even if someone broke into the house the video camera would be safe). He's forgotten where he hid it. FML

#12715799
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20585) - you deserved it (8451)

On 08/24/2010 at 3:25am - misc - by lostvideo - Israel (Yerushalayim)



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