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Today, my eight-year-old son thought that if he swallowed soap, his farts would smell like soap. The smell of vomit and diarrhea now permeating my house is proof of how wrong he was. FML

#19680165
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23066) - you deserved it (2269)

On 05/25/2012 at 8:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up with a vicious hangover. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to dozens of cans strewn all over the floor. I don't remember buying half the store's supply of pork and beans. FML

#21304482
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23066) - you deserved it (7676)

On 11/23/2014 at 1:22pm - misc - by college student - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to Lidl to buy the cheapest jaffa cakes I could. They cost 35p. When I was eating them later on I put the plastic wrapper onto the side. When I'd finished eating my jaffa cakes I went to pick up the wrapper... The dog had eaten it. Cost me a £150 vet bill. Most expensive jaffas I've ever had. FML

#5361987
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23064) - you deserved it (7620)

On 09/19/2009 at 7:19pm - animals - by 909 (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I went jet skiing with my girlfriend of four years. I intended to propose to her. The $2000 ring fell out of my pocket and into the lake. I have no idea where it is. FML

#13317207
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23064) - you deserved it (48387)

On 10/04/2010 at 2:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I learned from the noise outside my window that construction workers start their days at 5 AM. FML

#17385440
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23064) - you deserved it (2802)

On 08/06/2011 at 5:28am - health - by LH0026 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at my boyfriend's house, I met his mother for the first time. And promptly fell in their pond. FML

#17584305
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23064) - you deserved it (3619)

On 08/26/2011 at 6:41am - love - by the girlfriend (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband finally got round to cutting down a tree limb in our front yard after months of me begging him. It fell on me. FML

#17056931
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23061) - you deserved it (14343)

On 07/10/2011 at 7:51pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, we watched a movie in class. Afterwards, the professor asked us what we thought. I raised my hand and said it was pretentious, dull and a really poor example of filmmaking. It was the movie HE spent five years writing and directing. FML

#222376
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23060) - you deserved it (47460)

On 03/05/2009 at 10:25pm - misc - by Nate (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my home health patient purposely drinks tons of prune juice every night so I will have a huge mess to clean up in the morning because I'm "a lazy bastard" and I "need to work harder." FML

#19885470
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23058) - you deserved it (2395)

On 07/03/2012 at 11:08am - work - by melikeyturtles - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friend and I were discussing music bands, and I asked who her favorite Queen member is. She looked at me like I was from another world and said, "I don't have a favorite British queen. That's like, so weird." FML

#20002229
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23056) - you deserved it (3113)

On 08/04/2012 at 1:15pm - misc - by fuckingbeliebers (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I received an e-mail from the Unemployment Department saying they had a job referral for me. After excitedly reading the description, I realised it was the job I'd just been fired from (at a much higher pay). If I don't go through the application process, I will be denied my unemployment. FML

#8862243
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23055) - you deserved it (2182)

On 03/06/2010 at 2:28am - work - by AlyssaBC (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband and I got into a fight because I refused to let him use my finger nail to clean the plaque off his teeth. FML

#19241359
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23056) - you deserved it (2544)

On 03/08/2012 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada



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