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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I wanted to remove my mustache hair with hot wax. The hair is still there, but my skin is all burnt dark brown. Tomorrow is my first day at school. FML

#7378045
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23484) - you deserved it (11264)

On 01/16/2010 at 1:16pm - misc - by queenofdeath - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I went to do the laundry at my hotel. I had just enough money for my two loads. After getting frustrated with the washer taking two of my quarters and giving no credit, I took the clothes out. The washer then locked the door shut and started without my clothes. FML

#19996404
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23483) - you deserved it (4280)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:44pm - misc - by jessmess (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I returned to my university residence following spring break. I was greeted by a letter stating I'd been caught on camera vandalising a wall repair. At the time in question, I was asleep on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The REZ coordinator is avoiding me, and I can't clear my name. FML

#19295579
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23426) - you deserved it (1618)

On 03/17/2012 at 6:26pm - misc - by CutePenguin (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML

#20113299
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23480) - you deserved it (6070)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:11am - health - by monkeyzz (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I looked at my face to see if my new age-defying lotion was working. My skin does look younger, it's covered in pimples like a teenager's. FML

#9098787
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23479) - you deserved it (4963)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:50am - health - by pizzaface (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

#17678479
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23438) - you deserved it (4370)

On 09/06/2011 at 4:06am - work - by Shamed - United Kingdom

Today, I sent in an assignment from my batshit insane teacher. The assignment was to read a poem, analyze it, and make a comic of its plot. This would've been fine if the teacher who assigned it to me didn't teach math. FML

Today, I woke up on the floor after I fell asleep last night while counting my tips. The pennies stuck to my face and left large blue circles from the copper. The blue won't come off. I have my senior photos today. My appointment can't be rescheduled. FML

#8748241
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23481) - you deserved it (5804)

On 03/01/2010 at 2:15pm - misc - by uwbeautyqueen12 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found a picture my husband had saved on the computer. It was of me, and he had named it "Fatter". FML

#15075025
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23477) - you deserved it (11940)

On 02/22/2011 at 3:38am - love - by just great... -

Today, I was the waiter for my family at the village inn. This wasn't so bad until I found out they left me no tip, only a napkin that said, "Get a haircut." FML

#17106364
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23477) - you deserved it (3223)

On 07/14/2011 at 10:17am - work - by alek - United States

Today, as the clock struck twelve for the new year, I was in the bathroom having a nosebleed. FML

#14423827
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23475) - you deserved it (3656)

On 01/01/2011 at 10:37am - health - by cauteriseme (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I spent two hours perfecting a really romantic text message to my boyfriend for our one year anniversary. I listed all the things I loved about him, and recalled some of our best times together. Two minutes after I sent it, he replied, "Huh?" FML

#18954605
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23474) - you deserved it (9193)

On 01/30/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by upupandaway (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, for my birthday, instead of a cake, my friends surprised me with a castle mainly made out of bacon. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I fucking hate bacon. FML

#18079662
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23473) - you deserved it (46238)

On 10/26/2011 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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