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Today, my husband told me to hold out my hand. He opened his, and in mine dropped a giant mutant tooth he had pulled a few months ago. FML

#8332517
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18132) - you deserved it (2149)

On 02/16/2010 at 6:51am - misc - by fmlpgh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to give my husband a tutorial on how to use jumper cables. Confused and flustered, he requested written instructions. FML

#18975500
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18130) - you deserved it (2934)

On 02/02/2012 at 9:50am - misc - by MM (woman) -

Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML

#8180539
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18129) - you deserved it (2863)

On 02/12/2010 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by rashree (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my grad student husband was unusually frisky in the middle of the day. I took the opportunity and we had an enjoyable afternoon romp. Afterward, I asked him what had gotten him in such a good mood. He replied, "I'd do just about anything to get out of doing my homework." FML

#13213311
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18127) - you deserved it (2741)

On 09/26/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by amorousintx - United States

Today, I bought a $450 elliptical machine to get in shape of the new year. After 5 hours of putting it together, I realized that all the ceilings in every room of my apartment are too low for me to use it without hitting my head. I can't return it. FML

#18695783
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18127) - you deserved it (7820)

On 01/03/2012 at 9:57am - health - by fatandsad (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband has been painting our house all weekend and plans to finish the job after work today. I decided to surprise him by completing the job myself. Painting the last window frame, I dropped the open tin of white paint, right onto our car roof. FML

#14696653
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18123) - you deserved it (8839)

On 01/24/2011 at 9:43am - misc - by Llaurin (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I woke up excited to go trick-or-treating, the treat being candy. Instead, my town has officially postponed Halloween due to blackouts. I guess this is where the trick comes in. FML

#18121286
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18122) - you deserved it (2332)

On 10/31/2011 at 3:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the girl I've secretly loved for years finally noticed me. That is, after I ran over her foot with my truck. FML

#20065697
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18121) - you deserved it (6029)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:26am - love - by Disappointed (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while at work, I cringed as I noticed my caveman colleague frantically digging into his nose and then continuing the use of his computer. I work in IT support and will be rebuilding his computer and reinstalling all his applications in 30 minutes time. FML

#14034046
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18120) - you deserved it (1765)

On 11/30/2010 at 9:07am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was so bored with my job at McDonald's that I actually hoped someone would come in and make a huge mess for me to clean. No one did. FML

#20173284
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18120) - you deserved it (3484)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:44am - work - by Ophelia - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my wife brought my 5-year-old daughter to visit me at the office. My boss has a speech impediment, and when she heard it, she exclaimed, "Hey my daddy can sound just like you! Show him daddy! Show him!" FML

#20454855
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18118) - you deserved it (37161)

On 01/12/2013 at 3:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran into a police officer while on my bike. It wouldn't be so bad, had he not been riding a massive horse. FML

Today, I shaved my head because I heard that one of my good friends got cancer. I went to visit her in the hospital. She's not bald. FML

#15907460
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18115) - you deserved it (52367)

On 04/24/2011 at 10:06am - health - by nohair (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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