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Today, I had to explain to my one person on my staff why having kids aged 6 to 9 hammering in screws with the butt end of a screwdriver is neither safe, nor a good idea. FML

#15170872
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20340) - you deserved it (2596)

On 03/02/2011 at 12:22am - work - by AntiBobTheBuilder (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was woken up by a call from "the Nuisance Call Prevention Registry". The lady on the telephone didn't see the irony. FML

#19405538
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20340) - you deserved it (1860)

On 04/04/2012 at 6:58am - misc - by Telemarket (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I went to have dinner with my girlfriend and her family. It got silent, so, noticing her legs were darker than they were a few hours ago, I wanted to ask her if she used tanning lotion. I ended up asking her if her legs were fake. Her dad has prosthetic legs. FML

#20002131
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20338) - you deserved it (6266)

On 08/04/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by ooops (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML

#19102650
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20332) - you deserved it (5143)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML

#12959324
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20331) - you deserved it (29943)

On 09/08/2010 at 2:53am - intimacy - by dom - United States

Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML

#20037445
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20329) - you deserved it (1531)

On 08/23/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was brushing my teeth when I looked up. There was a huge scorpion dangling on the air vent above my head. I was trapped in the bathroom for over an hour trying to build the courage to run out. FML

#19908614
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20326) - you deserved it (5815)

On 07/08/2012 at 5:47am - animals - by scorpionsurviver - United States

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

#20188881
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20325) - you deserved it (7842)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, on my first day of a new factory job, I discovered that my new boss had lied to me about my hours. I found this out when my coworkers burst out laughing when I mentioned having the weekends off, and talking about my recreational plans. FML

#19508407
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20324) - you deserved it (2017)

On 04/21/2012 at 10:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I attended a formal banquet. The host was delivering a speech, when I felt the urge to pee, so I tried to quietly excuse myself. My chair screeched over the floor as I got up, I tripped over my own feet, and I accidentally took the door leading outdoors, where I ended up peeing in shame. FML

#19613905
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20324) - you deserved it (3594)

On 05/12/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by Andy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was renovating the house, and my girlfriend asked, "Do you use electrical tape on electrical stuff?" Not knowing where she was going with this, I just gave her a puzzled look. She continued by saying, "Because it's not like people use duct tape on ducks." FML

#20158312
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20325) - you deserved it (2817)

On 11/11/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Danny - United States (Utah)

Today, I swapped a shift so I didn't have to work on new year's eve. An hour later I realized I didn't have anyone to spend it with. I swapped it back. I'll be ringing in the new year with my boss. FML

#14379512
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20323) - you deserved it (3719)

On 12/29/2010 at 5:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML

#20442267
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20321) - you deserved it (11107)

On 01/04/2013 at 5:13am - health - by idiot - Sweden



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