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Today, while watching The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh with my 5 year old, I realized why the kangaroo's name is Kanga, and why her son's name is Roo. Kanga-Roo. Get it? Yeah. I didn't until today. I'm 47. FML

#3430057
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20666) - you deserved it (48032)

On 07/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by slightlyslow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came to the conclusion that I was right about thinking how much it would hurt to hit your head on a door-frame, stub your toe on a stone table leg, and then trip over your cat, who won't take it well and will probably claw your recently stubbed toe. FML

#18650624
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20666) - you deserved it (3408)

On 12/30/2011 at 2:13am - misc - by 3peeps - United States

Today, I told my 10 year old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML

#1565
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20664) - you deserved it (3115)

On 01/18/2009 at 9:30am - kids - by NVP - United States (Ohio)

Today, my new roommate took a shower. This would be a good thing, except for the fact that it's apparently taken her two months just to take this one. I have to live with her for another year. FML

#19411830
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20664) - you deserved it (1716)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by I hate nasty people - United States (Indiana)

Today, my husband recorded me getting out of bed and sleepwalking all the way into the backyard and straight into our pool. He was too busy giggling like a schoolgirl to help me out. FML

#19806951
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20665) - you deserved it (2924)

On 06/18/2012 at 12:05pm - misc - by Myriam (woman) - Maldives (Maale)

Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML

#8994102
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20659) - you deserved it (3094)

On 03/11/2010 at 9:44am - health - by captainkevineff - United States

Today, my manager sent me a text message with a picture of Santa masturbating, with a message that said he wished me a white Christmas. FML

#6401581
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20659) - you deserved it (3725)

On 11/22/2009 at 4:15am - intimacy - by lonewolf2701 - United States

Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend. He claimed that it's because he's an agent fighting the Mafia, and he doesn't want to put my life at risk through reprisal attacks. FML

#20045057
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20656) - you deserved it (2185) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/27/2012 at 6:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML

#19207356
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20651) - you deserved it (3192)

On 03/03/2012 at 3:27am - health - by fingerhut - United States (California)

Today, as I was pressed for time, I opened some canned food for dinner. When my children were served, they said, "Mmm, this is best meal you've ever cooked for us!" I cook healthy, balanced meals every day. FML

#557
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20650) - you deserved it (7030)

On 12/20/2008 at 7:23am - kids - by Lola - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was leaving the car wash when I saw my friend walking on the sidewalk. I pulled over next to her and asked if she wanted a ride. Only after getting a face full of the soda she was drinking did I realize I was talking to a complete stranger. FML

#13818357
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20650) - you deserved it (6658)

On 11/12/2010 at 7:24pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I got a $20 tip from an old lady I delivered pizza to. Ecstatic, I walked back to my car where there was a $30 parking fine waiting for me. FML

#19692840
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20650) - you deserved it (7751)

On 05/28/2012 at 9:55am - money - by dammit33 - Australia (Victoria)



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