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Today, I went to a big family dinner. I didn't realize I hadn't been invited until we were about to sit down to eat. There were 12 chairs, 12 plates, 12 forks, and 12 glasses. I was the 13th person to arrive. FML

#20141489
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24293) - you deserved it (2360)

On 10/31/2012 at 10:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was happy to finally receive an email from my younger sister, whom I have not been able to talk to for months due to being in the military stationed overseas. The email was to tell me my mom is in jail. FML

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

#20108214
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24290) - you deserved it (4913)

On 10/08/2012 at 9:55pm - love - by hnickell93 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML

#21346656
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24289) - you deserved it (2158)

On 01/30/2015 at 4:00am - love - by wtf - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at the gym, when a pretty overweight guy started staring and eventually taunting me. Let me tell you, lines such as "Lay off the cake, fatty!" and "I can see your gut hanging out your ass, for fuck's sake!" don't exactly boost one's self-confidence. FML

#20026361
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24288) - you deserved it (2454)

On 08/17/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by fuckoffandfuckoffagainyoucunt (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I got back from my daughter's flat in Scotland. I got a flight there yesterday morning to surprise her on her 21st birthday. Nobody told her I was coming. When I got there, it turned out she decided to get a plane to London to surprise me. £200 on flights, and I didn't even get to see her. FML

#8207424
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24287) - you deserved it (4429)

On 02/13/2010 at 1:39pm - kids - by gordy1220 (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, a homeless man started to wet himself in the recliner at the coffee shop where I work. He then walked all the way to the bathroom, only to finish urinating in a puddle right in front of the bathroom door. Guess who cleaned it up. FML

#19907093
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24286) - you deserved it (1625)

On 07/07/2012 at 11:16pm - work - by cj1012 - United States

Today, I was following a makeup tutorial on YouTube. The girl said to apply concealer to any "problem areas" on my face. When I was done, 90% of my face was covered in concealer. FML

#13653489
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24284) - you deserved it (5400)

On 10/30/2010 at 7:46pm - misc - by demaris (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after informing my boss I needed stress leave from my 70 hour a week shifts, I got my new work assignment. Sixty hours a week starting at 2am. FML

#14942449
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24287) - you deserved it (3613)

On 02/11/2011 at 11:02pm - work - by NotAMorningPerson - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I noticed a girl looking at me on the train. Playing it cool, I decided to give her a smile and see what would happen. It came out as a creepy, seedy grin, prompting her to call security. FML

#6953786
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24284) - you deserved it (9290)

On 12/26/2009 at 7:06am - misc - by creepyguy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I realized that the only boy that shows up at my door is the pizza boy. FML

#7399621
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24281) - you deserved it (6700)

On 01/17/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by mapleleafs34 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I started to seductively kiss my girlfriend on the neck. When I asked her if she liked it, she said, "Yes, because I don't have to smell your breath." FML

#18517273
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24281) - you deserved it (24686)

On 12/15/2011 at 2:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

#21382528
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24281) - you deserved it (5321)

On 03/27/2015 at 5:19pm - work - by screwedupfuck (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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