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Today, my 10 year old brother won the poem contest at his school. Since then he won’t stop bugging me with them. FML

#319
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20821) - you deserved it (7414)

On 11/17/2008 at 3:53am - kids - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had a job interview. I have a nervous tendency to rub my foot against the bar under the table. After the interview I noticed I had been rubbing my foot against the interviewer's leg. FML

#3032403
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20821) - you deserved it (35045)

On 06/19/2009 at 3:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML

#13340119
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20821) - you deserved it (7498)

On 10/06/2010 at 5:31am - love - by fireman (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was trying to relieve a dog that looked like it was choking because it was tied to a pole while its owner was in a restaurant. The owner called a security guard because she was convinced I was trying to steal her dog. FML

#13162058
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20819) - you deserved it (4110)

On 09/22/2010 at 9:25pm - animals - by Hilary - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was walking through my house when I noticed bits of plaster falling from the ceiling. Against all logic, I looked up, receiving a fragment directly in the eyeball. FML

#18336172
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20819) - you deserved it (8973)

On 11/24/2011 at 11:06am - misc - by swirkishly - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend used my love handles as ACTUAL love handles. FML

#13431073
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20818) - you deserved it (18126)

On 10/13/2010 at 4:36am - intimacy - by Abused (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML

#20039589
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20818) - you deserved it (3093)

On 08/24/2012 at 5:00pm - love - by OMFG I LOVE MLP - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I went on a date with my really attractive neighbor, and at the end, when I leaned in to make out with her, she shook my hand. FML

#3670
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20817) - you deserved it (5236)

On 01/30/2009 at 9:42am - love - by anonymous neighbor - United States (New York)

Today, after discussing the side-effects of an insomnia aid, my doctor said that making a choice was naturally a difficult one, and that he would only prescribe it to me once I'd had "a good, long sleep on it". He then laughed out loud and called in the next patient. FML

#13616932
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20815) - you deserved it (2400)

On 10/27/2010 at 5:58pm - misc - by royalscenery (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML

#20188543
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20814) - you deserved it (2700)

On 12/02/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by :/ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

#19511225
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20811) - you deserved it (2239)

On 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after the fourth time telling my roommate I'm highly allergic to her scented products, I came back to find all 6 of our wall outlets using Glade plug-ins. They were set to high. FML

Today, my husband decided to be helpful and do all the laundry, including pre-treating all the stains. He felt that Clorox Clean-Up with Bleach would be the most effective. FML

#8374594
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20810) - you deserved it (3273)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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