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Today, my towel was stolen at the swimming pool. I quickly found the culprit, and to avoid a conflict, I just swiped it back when he wasn't looking. I felt pretty good about everything, until I got back home and realized it wasn't actually my towel after all. FML

#21193691
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27349) - you deserved it (40940)

On 06/30/2014 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML

#21391444
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27348) - you deserved it (2131)

On 04/10/2015 at 7:03pm - misc - by pukeytimes - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finally slept with the man of my dreams. After he left for work, I found a six-inch skid mark smack dab in the middle of my sheets. Apparently, the man of my dreams doesn't believe in toilet paper. FML

#21422896
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27347) - you deserved it (3027)

On 06/08/2015 at 3:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

#20058507
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27345) - you deserved it (5152)

On 09/05/2012 at 4:14am - love - by steve (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend actually slept with one of the celebrities on her "5 celebrities we're allowed to sleep with" list. FML

#21515102
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27351) - you deserved it (12966)

On 01/14/2016 at 7:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I put in an application to my local market for a job that I desperately needed. I was talking to the manager, he seemed pleased with my application and said he'll call me. As he walks into his private office, I hear the sound of a paper shredder. FML

#6877419
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27344) - you deserved it (2463)

On 12/22/2009 at 12:45am - work - by TheJuggla17 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom thought I was flying high on weed and nearly grounded me for it. I wasn't high, I was just actually in a good mood for the first time in a few weeks. FML

#19999290
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27342) - you deserved it (2202)

On 08/02/2012 at 10:14pm - misc - by HappyMan (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having a playful fight with my brother. I made the point that our dog likes me better than him. To this, my dog jumped onto the sofa, turned to me and vomited on my face. FML

#6464723
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27340) - you deserved it (8178)

On 11/26/2009 at 4:13pm - animals - by smellsofeggs (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, I went to dinner with an amazing guy. At the end he said he had to go to the washroom. 15 min later he was still MIA, so I figured he'd ditched me with the bill. I paid and left. 10 min later he texted me, asking where I was. Turns out he hadn't ditched me. He was having "stomach issues." FML

#19991371
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27340) - you deserved it (6763)

On 07/29/2012 at 8:25pm - misc - by oops (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a passing by bird managed to poop through my car's sunroof and onto the center console. FML

Today, it dawned on me that the most romantic thing my husband has done in the last three years, was a put a wedding ring on his xbox avatar. FML

#7945898
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27338) - you deserved it (3340)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:09pm - love - by browniepoints (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while I was on a second date with this guy, my roommate tried calling me and I ignored her. After dinner my date brought me back to my apartment and there was a waterfall gushing down from the balcony above our apartment. The guys above us had started a fire and our apartment was flooded. FML

#6065412
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27335) - you deserved it (6385)

On 10/30/2009 at 12:31am - misc - by effinit (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was giving myself a breast exam for lumps. I heard laughing, looked around and saw that the 12 year-old neighbor and his friends were watching through the window. FML

#14374773
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27334) - you deserved it (11970)

On 12/28/2010 at 10:20pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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