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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently, the mafia is out to get him. FML

#19071061
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25798) - you deserved it (3019)

On 02/14/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Just_Me_88 (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. My boyfriend noticed that every time I'm about to climax, I hit my head on something. Whether it's a wall or his face. FML

#14481940
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25797) - you deserved it (5773)

On 01/06/2011 at 1:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it's been a week since my little brother took up his new hobby of posting "cool story, bro" in reply to almost every Facebook status and comment that I make. Not only do I already want to smash his face against a brick wall, my parents will ground me if I defriend any family members. FML

#17815777
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25797) - you deserved it (5010)

On 09/23/2011 at 8:32pm - misc - by yeah_im_mad_bro - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I used an air freshener in my room to make it smell good. At first, the smell was pretty pleasant. However, by the time it'd "soaked in" it smelled just like weed. My whole room stinks of it, and now my mum is convinced I've been smoking pot in my room. FML

#21387075
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25796) - you deserved it (3564)

On 04/03/2015 at 3:05pm - misc - by HtotheFtotheS - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I noticed a little white ball in the corner of my bedroom ceiling. I guess it had been there for a while already, but the teeming mass of baby spiders crawling out made it a lot more conspicuous. FML

#19612564
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25791) - you deserved it (3192)

On 05/12/2012 at 4:48pm - animals - by aliqi (man) - United States

Today, I was at the nursing home I work at, and my boss asked me if I'm serious about my job, telling me that I've been acting strange and not working hard enough. She wants to drug test me. The real reason I'm not 100% is because I have a stomach ulcer from the stress of working there. FML

#14483355
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25790) - you deserved it (2380)

On 01/06/2011 at 7:21am - work - by sick (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I bumped into a man on the street. I apologized and he picked up his wallet. To clear the awkward silence, I pointed out that his wallet looked like mine. It wasn't until I was on the next street that I realized it was my wallet. FML

#19903103
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25790) - you deserved it (9895)

On 07/07/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Aaron Lewis - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out my anti-depressants are super-effective. So effective, they affect things they aren't even supposed to. Like my ability to pee. FML

#21401319
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25789) - you deserved it (1977)

On 04/28/2015 at 6:39pm - health - by full bladder - United States (Florida)

Today, after replacing several components on my new used car, I realized that the reason it wasn't getting the gas mileage it was supposed to because my coworkers take turns siphoning my gas while I work. FML

#21435168
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25789) - you deserved it (1458)

On 07/02/2015 at 12:16am - work - by thatshelpful - United States (Iowa)

Today, my girlfriend admitted to me that she has been sleeping with someone on her girls basketball team, which at first turned me on. Then I found out he's the team manager. FML

#20164114
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25788) - you deserved it (8288)

On 11/15/2012 at 8:37am - love - by SweetStuff88 (man) - United States

Today, I had a dream that I was making pancakes. I need to get out more. FML

#21373068
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25788) - you deserved it (4543)

On 03/12/2015 at 9:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having a dinner party. My guests were getting along really well. I mean, really well; it turns out they all went to the same high school. For the next five hours, I hosted a high school reunion for a school I didn't even go to, in my own home. FML

#21441771
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25788) - you deserved it (2417)

On 07/14/2015 at 10:11pm - misc - by trappedinmyownhome (woman) -

Today, after taking my jacket off at work, I found a large faint stain all across one side of my shirt. Turns out that my fiancé had used it to "clean up the bed." I am the manager of a supermarket with 40 employees. It was pretty obvious what it was. FML

#13674952
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25788) - you deserved it (5073)

On 11/01/2010 at 1:24pm - intimacy - by grimatwork (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)



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