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Today, I went to work 300 miles away from where I live. I couldn't find my customer's address, so I decided to call him. I'd picked up my wireless house phone instead of my mobile. FML

#339
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21621) - you deserved it (8194)

On 11/19/2008 at 3:00am - work - by comphone - Sent from mobile version

Today, I told my girlfriend I have only one testicle. Her reaction? "Eeew, balls are gross!" I'm glad to know I'm only half as gross as other guys. FML

#5463165
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21620) - you deserved it (2952)

On 09/25/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by lone_ranger (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that one of my best mates had his backpack, clothes, and everything else in it stolen at an airport overseas. I was feeling sorry for him all day. It took me 9 hours to remember that I actually loaned him my backpack for his trip. FML

#12875277
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21619) - you deserved it (6502)

On 09/02/2010 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML

#20122062
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21619) - you deserved it (2011)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:33am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend told me he watched True Life I'm Pregnant. Now I know why we haven't been having sex. FML

#3148
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21619) - you deserved it (2665)

On 01/28/2009 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by hgirl - United States (Maryland)

Today, I managed to get locked inside a caravan toilet. My relatives heard me having a panic attack and instead of unlocking the door, they called the neighbours over to enjoy my anguish and embarrassment. FML

#17627414
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21618) - you deserved it (2554)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:34am - misc - by RhuLynette - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my 'girlfriend', who I've been emailing with, was really my friend playing a prank on me. He asked me for naked pictures of myself and I sent them to him. FML

#2842632
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21616) - you deserved it (72580)

On 06/12/2009 at 9:47pm - love - by Paco4242 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while in heavy traffic on the highway, a motorcyclist managed to t-bone my car. He picked himself up, glanced at the side of my car, and quickly drove off, all in the space of a few seconds. I just got an expensive paint job on this thing. FML

#17778728
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21616) - you deserved it (2581)

On 09/19/2011 at 4:35am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML

#19312851
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21615) - you deserved it (2388)

On 03/20/2012 at 7:57am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I finally moved all my boxes into my new apartment. I was settling in when my alarm clock that was stashed in one of the boxes began ringing. Two hours and several boxes later, I still can't find it. FML

#14249611
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21612) - you deserved it (5066)

On 12/18/2010 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found the best cure for constipation is having my brother scare the literal shit out of me, in Walmart. FML

#19532255
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21611) - you deserved it (2119)

On 04/26/2012 at 1:29pm - health - by crazyk2468 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that last week, the UPS man gave my package to my neighbor for safekeeping. It was over five-hundred dollars' worth of merchandise. My neighbor left for Canada on Saturday. FML

#20160454
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21611) - you deserved it (1548)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:40pm - money - by siciliano12594 - United States (New York)

Today, I was grocery shopping. When I got to the frozen foods, I saw some lean pockets, which I haven't had in forever, so I bought a couple of boxes. Around lunch time, I was hungry and thought I could have some, until I realized why I stopped buying them: I don't have a microwave. FML

#20908021
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21612) - you deserved it (36576)

On 10/05/2013 at 4:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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