Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I went into a haunted house. Around 30 seconds into the adventure, I couldn't stop screaming at the top of my lungs from all of the scares. Suddenly, the little girl ahead of me, who was all by herself, turned around and told me to "suck it up and grow a pair, loser." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7169) - you deserved it (27274)
On 11/01/2010 at 7:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I missed work because I was at the hospital getting treated for accidentally inhaling chlorine gas. I didn't realize that using Comet Industrial Strength Cleanser to scrub out a cat litter pan could be so hazardous. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7169) - you deserved it (14897)
On 12/13/2010 at 10:27am - health - by lakb -
Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7165) - you deserved it (27297)
On 03/01/2010 at 4:13am - animals - by ItHurtsLIkeHell (man) - Malaysia (Pulau Pinang)
Today, my friends and I got front stage tickets to our favorite band. Being my first concert, we planned to start a small mosh pit in the back. I got knocked out by my bestfriends elbow and was rushed to the hospital, during the first song. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7162) - you deserved it (17459)
On 10/08/2010 at 11:12pm - health - by ~Mr.Void - United States (South Carolina)
Today, after being in the UK for 2 months, I learned that when saying, "I'm about to blow off and kill someone", to the British "blow off" means "fart." This was pointed out to me in an open-space office after a particularly loud rant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7162) - you deserved it (13136)
On 09/29/2011 at 4:04am - work - by AngerManagement - United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend finally invited me over to his parents house so I could meet them. My boyfriend, his dad and I were sitting in the living room, when I saw a really sketchy person outside, so I said, "There is some creepy hobo man outside, messing with your trash." The "creepy hobo" was his mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7155) - you deserved it (25892)
On 12/08/2009 at 12:09am - love - by CheLi (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was waiting in line to use the bathroom. I complained to the guy next to me about how long the lady was taking. I kept making jokes about it, but he never seemed to laugh. Finally, the door opened and out came a lady in a wheelchair. The guy next to me was her husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7155) - you deserved it (44540)
On 12/19/2012 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was pissed that I got a £60 parking ticket so rang my friend to rant about it. I then got pulled over by the cops for using my phone, and was fined £120. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7153) - you deserved it (48949)
On 02/02/2011 at 2:12am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7152) - you deserved it (14868)
On 01/31/2009 at 9:43am - intimacy - by Ah hell - United States (Ohio)
Today, I used a prank app, where you shake the cell, and it makes the screen looks cracked. I ended up losing my grip on the phone. It went flying, and it is now cracked for real. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7152) - you deserved it (21273)
On 06/10/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I waited in line at a drive-through behind a man for ten minutes. I got out of my car, cursed at him, and then asked him to give me one good reason why it would take that long to order. The man slowly explained to me that he had a stutter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7150) - you deserved it (90454)
On 06/01/2010 at 5:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, it was my wedding day. I gave a speech about the first time my wife and I met. I said I knew she was the perfect woman for me and it was love at first sight. I looked to my right as she stormed off and then realized I had told a story about my ex-girlfriend who was sitting in the crowd. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7146) - you deserved it (72758)
On 10/28/2009 at 5:22pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, at an elementary school a girl showed me her grandma's obituary in the paper and started crying. To stop her from crying I made things out of the rest of the paper, later she asked me where her grandma's obituary was. I accidentally made it into a hat, with lots of tape. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7144) - you deserved it (34959)
On 06/01/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by thechad_144 - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
