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Today, at work, a woman fainted, and an extremely attractive cop came in to help. I ended up running into him an hour later. Seeing as though I'm not very shy or a nervous person, I struck up a conversation with him, thinking it must be fate. I ended up fumbling my words so much he asked if I was drunk. FML

#13733667
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27277) - you deserved it (7092)

On 11/06/2010 at 12:40am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, it's hot and sunny, and a customer asked me how I was, I responded by saying "It's a hot sunny day. Who doesn't love the sun?" He responded by telling me he had just had three melanomas cut out. I guess I did find someone who doesn't like the sun. FML

#15933136
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27277) - you deserved it (5324)

On 04/26/2011 at 11:03am - health - by fifthtimesacharm -

Today, a homeless guy grabbed me and started ranting that "the Mayans were right" or some shit. He was making about as much sense as Charlie Sheen outside of a padded cell, so I shoved him away. That's when he decided to pull a knife and chase me all the way to my car. FML

#19716436
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27275) - you deserved it (4165)

On 06/01/2012 at 5:08pm - misc - by kay (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I had to explain to several young children why asking the new blind girl to play hide and seek with them is inappropriate. FML

#21439546
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27275) - you deserved it (2541)

On 07/10/2015 at 12:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my boyfriend started affectionately calling me "Burt Reynolds" because I wax my upper lip. FML

#23475
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27274) - you deserved it (5287)

On 02/11/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by C. Kronick (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mother found out about the psychology exam I have to take tomorrow. Before leaving for her vacation this morning, she grabbed the internet router and took it with her to "get rid of distractions". I have one day to figure out how to access this online exam without Internet. FML

#21436769
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27274) - you deserved it (1869)

On 07/05/2015 at 11:51am - misc - by getting real crafty.. - United States (Maine)

Today, I was in the car going to a concert with my family. I was listening to my iPod, when the wheel broke and I couldn't change the song. So for the rest of the trip, I was stuck either listening to my parents arguing, or Don't Worry, Be Happy by Bobby McFerrin on repeat. FML

#12782380
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27274) - you deserved it (5944)

On 08/28/2010 at 2:07am - misc - by dontworrybehappy (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom was more upset about my 67 on an Algebra test than my sister almost setting the house on fire. FML

#18788903
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27272) - you deserved it (5943)

On 01/12/2012 at 8:20pm - misc - by xXMudkipNoobXx - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML

#20114536
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27271) - you deserved it (6093)

On 10/13/2012 at 2:35am - animals - by afraidtosleep - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked outside to see my friend frantically waving and running at me, yelling something I couldn't understand. I smiled and started to jog over to him until I realized he was screaming "RUN!!!" We spent the next 10 minutes running from his neighbor's 5 vicious chihuahuas. FML

#14080015
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27270) - you deserved it (6516)

On 12/04/2010 at 2:08am - misc - by chi-huaHUA - United States

Today, I didn't have my key, so my sister told me to call her to let me in. I called, no answer. I waited for 15 minutes and then called my dad complaining about her, still being outside. She popped her out the window and yelled, "Don't talk about me, bitch!" and wouldn't open the door. FML

#13374528
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27268) - you deserved it (4412)

On 10/09/2010 at 2:36am - misc - by sister_woes (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, when I stopped at a light, I tossed a banana peel into a field along the side of the road. The man behind me got out of his car, picked up the banana peel and threw it back into my car at me. When I tried to tell him it was biodegradable, he told me to "stop making up words." FML

#13274886
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27268) - you deserved it (31987)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

#20136968
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27265) - you deserved it (5795)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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