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Today, my sister asked me if she could go into my closet to borrow my favourite dress for a party she was going to tonight. When I asked her where she was going, she said to a Halloween costume party. My sister is going as a prostitute. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7092) - you deserved it (19140)
On 10/16/2010 at 8:31pm - misc - by meegs (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went Christmas shopping for my cat. I still haven't bought presents for my family, yet my cat already has several small gifts under the tree and an outfit to wear around the house. I really need a new hobby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7089) - you deserved it (23005)
On 12/13/2012 at 6:04am - animals - by catlover - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I got an email from a guy to whom I sold my old phone to over eBay. Turns out I forgot to delete the nude photos of myself and my boyfriend that I had stored up. His email asked me for "any PIN numbers needed to use the phone, and oh by the way, nice tits." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7088) - you deserved it (54358)
On 07/01/2009 at 6:31am - intimacy - by paprikarulz (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I was doing my paper round. I got to the last house and thought I had done everything right. I checked my list of houses, and I had done every single one wrong. I went and got all the papers back and delivered them again. That was when I realised I did them right in the first place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7078) - you deserved it (23518)
On 01/09/2010 at 5:14am - work - by Harry (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)
Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7077) - you deserved it (25084)
On 10/09/2011 at 7:28pm - love - by Slayer - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at a local chinese restaurant with two of my friends. We were laughing hysterically when my friend tells me to stop making her laugh because she was going to puke, naturally I kept egging it on. She puked all over the table and I was laughing so hard that I peed my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7075) - you deserved it (46040)
On 08/20/2009 at 1:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I received my new car-seat covers. I wrote my car off yesterday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7075) - you deserved it (11987)
On 02/09/2012 at 6:29am - money - by thatgirl34 - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my tennis coach showed up to practice in an all white outfit. I exclaimed, "You're looking very white today!" He's African American. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7073) - you deserved it (33769)
On 02/10/2009 at 12:59am - misc - by Tennisplayer (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I worked for three hours writing very neat notes with one of those pens that erase. I felt very accomplished, so decided to share it on Facebook. I brought my computer over to my lap on top of my notes. Turns out heat from laptops smudges ink from eraseable pens. I can't read my notes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7072) - you deserved it (20893)
On 12/16/2009 at 7:33am - misc - by ohhi_itsme123 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I passed out at a party after having a few too many, as one does. I woke up with swastikas and penises drawn on my face with permanent marker. I now have to go home, using public transport, to my prudish, Jewish dad who thought I was at my friend's house for a sleepover with no alcohol. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7072) - you deserved it (37134)
On 09/29/2010 at 7:02pm - misc - by ragass_mctree (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, at work, my phone rang. My intern answered it and told me it was a coworker who'd just left. I picked up and said "What's up bitch? What are you going to complain about now?!" It was actually my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7072) - you deserved it (29311)
On 02/18/2011 at 4:33am - work - by Username -
Today, I was invited into a group chat on Skype. Everyone ignored everything I said, so I got pissed and started yelling at them. Then I realised my microphone wasn't plugged in right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7072) - you deserved it (38145)
On 07/10/2011 at 5:41pm - misc - by Canuckster (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Friday 24 May 2013
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