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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML

#10675411
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16142) - you deserved it (8322)

On 05/21/2010 at 8:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML

#19305380
7 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16139) - you deserved it (11611)

On 03/19/2012 at 12:59am - kids - by FoodyFood (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was walking around my new school trying to figure out where to go. Then I realized I was talking to myself. Out loud. FML

#8578589
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16139) - you deserved it (9206)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:25am - misc - by itsawonderfulife (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my friend said he'd give me 20 bucks if I would ask out the ugliest girl in school. I did it. She rejected me. FML

#3171595
371 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16137) - you deserved it (95271)

On 06/24/2009 at 11:33am - love - by steven (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my mom gave me and my brothers each a cd of her recent photoshoot for her book. I found out later that my mom didn't know how to burn only SOME of the photos on the CD, and ended up burning all of the photos onto the CD. Some of the photos were provocative. FML

#1617
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16135) - you deserved it (1510)

On 01/18/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by scarred4life - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML

#33255
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16135) - you deserved it (36396)

On 02/12/2009 at 7:54pm - misc - by SmokedSalmon (man) - United States (New York)

Today, our Christmas tree was damaged beyond repair after my son and his friends borrowed it for a little experiment. They tied balloons to the branches and tried to make it fly, after seeing a similar video online. FML

#18468600
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16133) - you deserved it (2252)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:44pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I figured I'd throw my ex-boyfriend a compliment and told him how "gifted" he was below the belt. He thinks he's paying me a compliment when he tells me how much he loves that little roll of skin that pops up over the top of my pants when I sit down. I'm trying to lose weight, asshole. FML

#1700
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16130) - you deserved it (5807)

On 01/19/2009 at 4:21am - love - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was getting ready to load my groceries in my car when my remote wouldn't work and neither would my key to unlock it. A cute young guy came over, not to help but to ask me what the hell I was doing to his car. My car, that looked exactly like his, was on the other side of the lot. FML

#13341534
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16130) - you deserved it (10920)

On 10/06/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by ctschantz - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized that the only time I've ever been noticed by my classmates is when I brought cake for the potluck. FML

#14133320
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16129) - you deserved it (2110)

On 12/08/2010 at 4:55pm - misc - by Invisible - Canada (Ontario)

Today, some friends told me that my natural body odor smells like cooked beef and roasted onions. I'm disgustingly delicious. FML

#19972809
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16128) - you deserved it (3633)

On 07/22/2012 at 2:34am - health - by hungry? - United States (Tennessee)

Today, someone I used to know got in touch with me, after I hadn't heard from him in years. He insisted that we met up as soon as possible, and wanted me to go to his house that afternoon. I spent the afternoon repairing his computer. Since then, no news. FML

#617
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16124) - you deserved it (2083)

On 12/28/2008 at 4:50am - misc - by maxiflouf - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found a video of a school play I starred in years ago. I was ecstatic, because it's really the only memento of my childhood I have left. Unfortunately, it started with my grandpa groaning, "Ahh shit," and degenerated into him muttering over the audio about "those fucking commies." FML

#19699093
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16123) - you deserved it (1454)

On 05/29/2012 at 1:58pm - misc - by joanne (woman) - United States



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