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Today, I received an award from my school rewarding me for my honor roll and my cheerleading. When I brought the certificate home my mom congratulated me and hugged me. I worked really hard for this and all my dad had to say was, "Try this flavor of Doritos." FML

#10496358
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23897) - you deserved it (7741)

On 05/12/2010 at 10:18pm - misc - by honorstudent - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at 11 weeks pregnant, I excitedly told my best friend that my baby now has fingernails. Her response was, "You're beginning to sound like a pro-life bumper sticker." FML

#16031516
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23895) - you deserved it (18660)

On 05/03/2011 at 11:41am - misc - by CRH (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was pulled over by the cops for a random breathalyzer test. They asked to see my license. I always keep my wallet in my car for situations like this. I received a $100 ticket because my mum apparently didn’t think it was a good idea to keep my wallet in the car. FML

#13862982
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23890) - you deserved it (6295)

On 11/16/2010 at 7:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I met my husband's family for the first time. My nightmare versions were better. FML

#20055328
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23891) - you deserved it (2585)

On 09/03/2012 at 4:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, while at work being a waitress, I gave my customer his credit card receipt to sign. Instead of giving him a pen, I pulled a tampon out of my apron pocket and handed it to him. FML

#20135099
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23891) - you deserved it (6897)

On 10/27/2012 at 2:42am - work - by geena - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend figured out that he can bounce small things off of my boobs, and has been doing it every time I look away. FML

#19543963
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23888) - you deserved it (4030)

On 04/28/2012 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Elise - United States

Today, I found my "lost" bicycle in my best friend's garage. I've been having to catch two buses to get to work for the past few months. FML

#18029940
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23885) - you deserved it (2573)

On 10/20/2011 at 7:51am - misc - by jwhizzle - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 72 year old Grandmother informed me she's running for mayor. She's been going around town with home made signs all day campaigning to win mayor. She lives in my town. My friend called me asking me if she was high. FML

#12880726
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23884) - you deserved it (3545)

On 09/03/2010 at 2:18am - misc - by AnnaWusHere - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was talking to my best friend. After admitting to me that he's gay, I gave him a hug for support and comfort, feeling his erection on my upper thigh. FML

#5579419
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23883) - you deserved it (4793)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:10am - intimacy - by betchyo (man) - United States (Massachusetts) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I was issued with a £60 fine for being parked in a supermarket car-park for more than 3 hours. I work there. FML

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML

#7870417
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23881) - you deserved it (3234)

On 02/04/2010 at 3:40am - health - by littlespoon (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I sent a get well card to my friend. it wasn't until after I got home from posting it did I realise that the stamps I put on the envelope had the phrase "Let's Get Active" on them with drawings of people playing sports. My friend is in a wheelchair. FML

#6303407
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23881) - you deserved it (10978)

On 11/14/2009 at 5:26pm - health - by Insensitive (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mate came over wanting me to listen to a new music cd he got. It was by some unknown band, and at the end he asked me what I thought, and I said it was ok, but the lead singer couldn't sing even if his life depended on it. Turns out my mate's the lead singer, and it was his own band. FML

#899489
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23872) - you deserved it (38949)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:41am - misc - by Jay (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)



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