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Today, I was told that my mom and her new husband have named my new born brother "Titan". FML

#1172
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22538) - you deserved it (1909)

On 01/14/2009 at 10:49pm - misc - by isthisajoke - United States (California)

Today, while at work, I was asked if I wanted to leave early. I said no and let my co-worker go instead. Two hours later, I was punched in the face by one of my patients with absolutely no warning or provocation. FML

#6764357
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22538) - you deserved it (3412)

On 12/15/2009 at 1:04pm - work - by psychworker - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got a text message saying "I'm sorry, I know it's our 4 month anniversary but it's not working out, I need to break up with you" followed by her complaining that I never call her as well. WTF? I haven't had a girlfriend for 6 months. FML

#2488
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22535) - you deserved it (2310)

On 01/24/2009 at 11:25pm - love - by EpicFail - Canada (Alberta)

Today, thinking I was alone in my house, I went downstairs in my underwear, singing at the top of my voice. I strutted into the kitchen to find two middle-aged men I'd never seen before sat at the kitchen table, drinking coffee. Turns out they will be painting our house for the next two weeks. FML

#20077635
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22537) - you deserved it (3826)

On 09/18/2012 at 10:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, thinking my girlfriend had left her little black thong in the dryer to tease me, I sent her a picture of me seductively posing with it. She didn't text back, but a few hours later my 16 year old daughter asked if she'd left anything in the dryer. FML

#20539833
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22530) - you deserved it (48867)

On 03/11/2013 at 5:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my elderly neighbor used his snowblower to send all of the fallen leaves in his yard into mine, which I'd raked earlier that morning. FML

#18271256
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22531) - you deserved it (2035)

On 11/17/2011 at 7:43am - misc - by leaf hater - United States

Today, my father told me to stop purposely singing out of tune because it was annoying. I wasn't doing it on purpose; it's my real voice. FML

#12920070
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22528) - you deserved it (6000)

On 09/05/2010 at 5:51pm - misc - by noonotme (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, her pet bird whistled a tune she'd been trying to teach it. She stopped and congratulated it, and I took the chance to move it to the other room to prevent further distraction. She got mad and wouldn't let me back in bed because I just "untrained it." FML

#13432700
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22528) - you deserved it (6737)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband gave my cellphone number to his most obnoxious, creepiest friend. I've been drunken-dialed five times already. FML

#17916897
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22528) - you deserved it (2357)

On 10/06/2011 at 12:40am - misc - by grubbieduc - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food play. She covered every region of my body, including my genitals, with strawberry sauce. Today also happens to be the day that I found out I'm allergic to strawberries. FML

#7070620
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22526) - you deserved it (3710)

On 01/01/2010 at 12:21am - intimacy - by welted (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the woman I love told me she cared about me and didn't like me hurting myself. She then posted a picture of herself making-out with her new boyfriend. FML

#6433599
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22524) - you deserved it (4799)

On 11/24/2009 at 5:04am - love - by xX-SaD-FaCe-Xx (man) - Singapore

Today, I saw a homeless man asking for money for food. Not wanting to give him money so he'd spend it on booze, I decided to buy him a full big mac meal from McDonalds. When I went to hand it to him, he quickly waved his hand, denying it saying, "Thanks but I'm a vegetarian". FML

#2596
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22523) - you deserved it (4661)

On 01/25/2009 at 10:44pm - misc - by Michelle C - United States (California)

Today, I went to a big job interview. Everything went well at first, with the interviewer being impressed by my CV. I was then interrogated over not having a Facebook account, and practically accused of being a criminal, because people without them "always have something to hide". FML

#20165792
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22523) - you deserved it (1562)

On 11/16/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)



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