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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I took my driver's test. I was so nervous that I peed my pants halfway through the exam. FML

#13910600
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25734) - you deserved it (16335)

On 11/20/2010 at 10:46am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the nicest thing said to me all day was from my microwave that flashes 'enjoy your meal' when it finishes cooking something. FML

#14872504
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25734) - you deserved it (3334)

On 02/06/2011 at 9:05pm - misc - by bymyself -

Today, my book bag was so heavy that it set off my car's passenger detection system in the front seat. I had to buckle in my textbooks. FML

#20068805
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25734) - you deserved it (3558)

On 09/12/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad found out that there is a free, 24 hour, 7 days a week religious channel. Now that's all he watches. FML

#19439898
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25732) - you deserved it (2729)

On 04/09/2012 at 10:33pm - misc - by awwman - United States

Today, I was working on a project in my schools library when a group of teenagers came in and began loudly talking and laughing. When I asked them to please quiet down, the librarian asked me to leave for being too loud. FML

#21420156
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25732) - you deserved it (2272)

On 06/03/2015 at 9:25am - misc - by NoUsernamHere - United States

Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML

#3308517
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25731) - you deserved it (47319)

On 06/28/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML

#18162397
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25731) - you deserved it (47152)

On 11/05/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by kdeeeceee - United States

Today, I lost power. That didn't stop my house alarm from running on battery, loudly informing me in a British accent, "AC power disconnected. BEEP. AC power disconnected. BEEP." It's been going on for 5 hours and the battery takes a special screwdriver to remove. One we don't have. FML

#17632771
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25729) - you deserved it (4046)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:50pm - misc - by Beepbeepbeep (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was excited that my sister called me for the first time in months. She asked me to stop watching "Friends" so she could use the Netflix account. Now, I still have an absentee sister and no Friends. FML

#21346655
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25729) - you deserved it (2918)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. While I was running on the treadmill, my beer belly pushed against the emergency stop button, twice. FML

#21427019
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25729) - you deserved it (4859)

On 06/16/2015 at 1:27pm - health - by Iarla_ceapaire93 - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my son told me he needed a haircut. I was thrilled that he actually requested it, since he normally throws a fit over getting them. He described the cut he wants. It's a mullet. FML

#19523693
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25727) - you deserved it (3051)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:59pm - kids - by DaveAlmighty (man) - United States

Today, I was on the arm of my couch trying to grab something from the bookshelf, and my boyfriend was below me. I asked, "So, would you catch me if I fell?" He looked back at me, paused for a moment before saying, "How much do you weigh again?" FML

#12141202
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25726) - you deserved it (7473)

On 07/27/2010 at 6:07am - misc - by mauimango7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my kids tried to make grilled cheese by turning the toaster sideways. When all was done, it all flew out onto the kitchen floor. Both my kids and my husband left the mess there for me to clean up when I got home. FML

#18891516
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25726) - you deserved it (3041)

On 01/23/2012 at 5:07pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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