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Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

#20136968
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27264) - you deserved it (5795)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was diagnosed with vertigo. It's like being perpetually drunk, but without any of the fun bits. FML

#18725965
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27263) - you deserved it (2285)

On 01/06/2012 at 12:51pm - health - by aylla - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my mother found out about the psychology exam I have to take tomorrow. Before leaving for her vacation this morning, she grabbed the internet router and took it with her to "get rid of distractions". I have one day to figure out how to access this online exam without Internet. FML

#21436769
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27263) - you deserved it (1868)

On 07/05/2015 at 11:51am - misc - by getting real crafty.. - United States (Maine)

Today, I was awarding medals to finalists in a school club. While putting one around someones neck, I ended up poking a girl in the eye. She tried to be a trooper by continuing to walk across stage but i guess her eyes got really watery because she missed the step and fell, breaking her ankle. FML

#10323
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27261) - you deserved it (7690)

On 02/05/2009 at 3:13pm - misc - by Craig (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at 7am, I was woken up by a telemarketer. He tried to sell me a bedroom set containing "a comfortable pillow and goose feather cover". I was working the graveyard shift and had only just gotten to sleep an hour earlier. FML

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his friends as his "sex partner." FML

#21430188
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27259) - you deserved it (3229)

On 06/22/2015 at 3:55pm - love - by Partners (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after ranting to my best friend about how all our friends are having kids and how teenage pregnancy will ruin their lives, she announced to me that she's pregnant. FML

#21452790
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27259) - you deserved it (6710)

On 08/06/2015 at 3:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML

#15043066
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27255) - you deserved it (3970)

On 02/19/2011 at 4:23pm - work - by Brendan - Canada

Today, it was my first time as a hockey referee, for a game played by 7-year-olds. At one point, a little boy tripped another boy. Doing my job, I gave him 2 minutes in the penalty box. After the game, I was attacked by a mob of parents. I was even given an optometrist's business card. FML

#18449960
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27254) - you deserved it (2437)

On 12/07/2011 at 12:26am - work - by gmnesbitt - United States (Michigan)

Today, one of my friends asked me to flirt with her boyfriend to see if he would flirt back. Knowing this was a trust test, I agreed. She got pissed at me when he flirted back and still isn't speaking to me. FML

#21436223
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27254) - you deserved it (4921)

On 07/04/2015 at 4:55am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend actually slept with one of the celebrities on her "5 celebrities we're allowed to sleep with" list. FML

#21515102
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27254) - you deserved it (12940)

On 01/14/2016 at 7:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I woke up with every muscle in my body hurting so bad I could hardly walk. Participation in a triathlon, or overdoing it at the gym? No, the results of a day spent cleaning the house. FML

#21331613
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27254) - you deserved it (6180)

On 01/05/2015 at 9:51pm - health - by FlabbyPants (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss bitched at me because my body language "indicates that you don't enjoy doing your job". I just have scoliosis. FML

#19972077
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27250) - you deserved it (1654)

On 07/22/2012 at 12:50am - work - by c - United States (Louisiana)



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