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Today, a thirty-something guy swaggered into my workplace. He was wearing shutter shades and torn jeans, and claimed to be our new boss. I called security to throw him out, at which point he produced his ID and let me know I'd be attending an employee review session next week. FML

#20039859
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21536) - you deserved it (7122)

On 08/24/2012 at 8:20pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I had to wrap presents for a cat. FML

#6910234
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21533) - you deserved it (6758)

On 12/23/2009 at 9:12pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML

#15430583
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21534) - you deserved it (11889)

On 03/22/2011 at 11:39am - health - by Maddie -

Today, my cheater of an ex-boyfriend sent me one of his many messages proclaiming his new-found love for me, and in the middle of it asked me how my period was going. FML

#2979
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21534) - you deserved it (1792)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:47am - love - by uninspired - United States (Illinois)

Today, I quit smoking. My son came home with an ashtray he made in arts and crafts class. FML

#19319555
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21533) - you deserved it (6712)

On 03/21/2012 at 8:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was running on the treadmill at my local gym when I saw a girl I like a lot. I called out to her to say hi. As she was coming over, I accidentally stepped on the belt with one foot, crashed down on the treadmill, and continued to slide down in front of her, emerging with a gashed knee and arm. FML

#20445461
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21532) - you deserved it (3768)

On 01/06/2013 at 10:16pm - love - by Dkim620 (man) - United States

Today, I was having a driving lesson. I ended up driving so badly that my instructor asked me to stop the car. Not so he could explain my mistakes to me, but so he could get out and vomit. FML

#16951238
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21531) - you deserved it (16259)

On 07/02/2011 at 5:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I thought my family would like it if I celebrated the new year with them. My brother thought that I'd like him to shoot my butt with his new gun in celebration. FML

#7077450
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21530) - you deserved it (2342)

On 01/01/2010 at 5:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend struck up a conversation about the reproductive systems of seahorses. We were getting intimate at the time. FML

#1374
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21530) - you deserved it (2122)

On 01/16/2009 at 12:31pm - love - by Noname - United Kingdom

Today, I received an email from my girlfriend listing 10 ways to stop premature ejaculation. Subtle. FML

#19629864
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21529) - you deserved it (6448)

On 05/15/2012 at 10:53pm - intimacy - by quick blow (man) - United States

Today, I slipped on a banana peel in a store parking lot as I was getting out of my car. I landed on my ass. The cops that were parking behind me later informed me that I would be able to see the video on youtube. FML

#1741
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21528) - you deserved it (1894)

On 01/19/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by vixenscars - United States (California)

Today, my dad made a voodoo doll out of a melon. This seems to happen a lot. FML

#20449532
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21527) - you deserved it (2407)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, my husband told me that occasionally I pick my nose while I sleep. I didn't believe him so he showed me the video he took of it. He wants to post it on Facebook. FML

#19995801
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21526) - you deserved it (2867)

On 08/01/2012 at 1:44am - misc - by Emily (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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