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Today, I finally got up the courage to tell my boyfriend of a year and a half that I love him. His response was to start to snore, pretending to be asleep. FML

#19028650
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24954) - you deserved it (3512)

On 02/08/2012 at 7:07pm - love - by c -

Today, I found out that the cause of the recent pain in my chest was that I had a torn muscle. What caused this? I sneezed. FML

#13093344
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24954) - you deserved it (2943)

On 09/18/2010 at 12:21am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, campus security called me to let me know a lawnmower crashed into my car. Apparently the guy mowing the lawn lost control. My car wasn't parked by any grass. I need a new bumper. FML

#17855113
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24952) - you deserved it (1909)

On 09/28/2011 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML

#19587857
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24951) - you deserved it (10298)

On 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by me (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out I have a kidney infection. Now I'm forced to drink at least 4 glasses of water before going to bed. I also have to be woken up every two hours to be told to, "GO PEE BEFORE YOU DIE!" by my mother. FML

#19520981
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24950) - you deserved it (1927)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:50am - health - by hottygirl905 - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to boycott an 80's theme party by wearing my regular clothes. Everyone said they loved my costume. FML

#21373989
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24947) - you deserved it (17899)

On 03/13/2015 at 6:39pm - misc - by jking2z (man) - United States

Today, I was jogging, and I saw a little boy walking. Crying and all alone. Thinking that he was probably lost, I asked to him with my sweetest voice: 'Hi there, did you lose somebody?' He screamed terrified and ran away. This is the second time this has happened to me. FML

#13749497
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24948) - you deserved it (5251)

On 11/07/2010 at 6:14am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I sprained my ankle while playing soccer. I still have to walk home. In the rain. FML

#7742819
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24946) - you deserved it (3240)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - health - by snidpea - Sent from mobile version

Today, in an attempt to get some guidance from my college advisor, I emailed her, saying I was contemplating going to another school because I felt so helpless about my GPA, and was sure I wouldn't get my major. I asked for advice on raising it. She gave me instructions on how to drop out. FML

#15077863
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24944) - you deserved it (6819)

On 02/22/2011 at 12:19pm - misc - by academicloser (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after months of job searching, I finally got a call about one of my applications. I wasn't able to answer it, but he left a voicemail. I've listened to it over and over, and I can't understand the contact information. He called from a restricted number. FML

#20033836
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24947) - you deserved it (1708)

On 08/21/2012 at 12:45pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found the password to my boyfriend's MSN account. I was listed in the "booty call" category. FML

#525
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24943) - you deserved it (6361)

On 12/16/2008 at 2:05am - love - by Gen - Sent from mobile version

Today, the guy who got off when the elevator's doors opened had a very embarrassed look on his face. I didn't think anything of it till the doors closed. Turns out he was running away from his deadly fart. FML

#14242742
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24943) - you deserved it (2693)

On 12/18/2010 at 12:56am - misc - by lizard (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I punched my wife in the face, because she jumped out from behind the bedroom door in the dark. I'm afraid of the dark. I'm 21. FML

#4328474
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24941) - you deserved it (38364)

On 08/06/2009 at 3:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)



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