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Today, after applying at over 30 businesses over the past 6 months, I have had not one single call. I later find out that I was using my old phone number on the applications, and my secondary phone was my mom's. She thought they were telemarketers. FML

#20922298
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24726) - you deserved it (41193)

On 10/16/2013 at 12:40am - work - by LFE - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were gazing into each others' eyes in the moonlight after not having seen each other for a week. I thought he was going to say "I love you" and pull me in for a kiss. Instead, he said, "Since you can’t drive, we should get one of those two seater bicycles." FML

#6489348
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24725) - you deserved it (8842)

On 11/28/2009 at 1:32am - love - by tjcl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad hurt his back. He went to a physical therapist who gave him some exercises to do. I have to watch him lie on his back and air hump while groaning every hour on the hour for the next two weeks. FML

#12991728
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24725) - you deserved it (4116)

On 09/10/2010 at 4:07pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend got into the Christmas cheer while giving me a hand job, smashing my nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells. FML

#20188363
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24725) - you deserved it (3955)

On 12/02/2012 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by fineididntwantkidsanyway (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I found out that I have a highly irrational fear of little people. I made this self discovery when my mother introduced the family to her new fiancé. FML

#20487281
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24726) - you deserved it (4693)

On 01/31/2013 at 4:07am - misc - by Why Me? (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend is angry with me. We had an argument on how to properly eat an Oreo. FML

#21418659
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24730) - you deserved it (5115)

On 05/31/2015 at 4:36pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad and I found in my house a water filter that has not been changed in over 20 years. We have been drinking that water that has been going through a filter that had more colors than a rainbow on it. FML

#6949871
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24721) - you deserved it (8562)

On 12/26/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by shithole (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my social anxiety got so bad, I nearly had a panic attack when too many people joined my World of Warcraft party. FML

#19033739
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24721) - you deserved it (15771)

On 02/09/2012 at 11:42am - health - by SocialAnxietyNightmare (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I talked to my crush for half an hour. It wasn't until I was home that I realised I had some remains of the sausage roll I ate an hour earlier spread all over my teeth. FML

#12860469
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24721) - you deserved it (7940)

On 09/01/2010 at 9:26pm - love - by Rollymouth - Sent from mobile version

Today, another employee scolded me for being "socially awkward". The same employee who just before had a 10 minute discussion with a client about her poop. FML

#18557623
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24720) - you deserved it (2193)

On 12/19/2011 at 10:53pm - work - by me (woman) - United States

Today, my brand new iPhone 4 was stolen from my bag. I asked the bartender if anyone had handed it in. I soon found out that while I was talking to her, someone swiped my wallet from the bag too. FML

#13908824
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24721) - you deserved it (7473)

On 11/20/2010 at 5:40am - misc - by misc (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was walking past a group of old men exiting a building. All of a sudden, I heard a strange splashing sound, and discovered one of the completely inebriated men walking behind me, pissing on my boots. I sped up, but so did he, and he didn't miss once until he was done. FML

#8658955
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24719) - you deserved it (2629)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:17am - misc - by cman (man) - Romania (Iasi)

Today, I attended my college roommate's wedding. We were best friends for 4 years, but have only talked occasionally since graduation. I was looking forward to meeting her new husband, having heard so much about him during our conversations. Turns out she forgot to mention he's my ex. FML

#20043916
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24718) - you deserved it (1969)

On 08/27/2012 at 2:11am - love - by Betrayed (woman) - United States



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