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Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

#20147554
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23775) - you deserved it (2807)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by i fking love docb - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML

#18435117
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23770) - you deserved it (2711)

On 12/05/2011 at 8:21am - misc - by areyouserial - United States

Today, I told my dad that I was going to sleep over my friends house this weekend with a few other guys to play Dungeons and Dragons. He responded with, "Oh, back in my day, me and my pals used to pick on the kids who played Dungeons and Dragons." FML

#2261901
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23769) - you deserved it (54644)

On 05/25/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by ninjawhat1337 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML

#19129542
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23769) - you deserved it (2713)

On 02/21/2012 at 4:53am - work - by kat (woman) - Reserved

Today, while correcting essays, I spilled ketchup on a student's paper. I managed to successfully turn it into a happy smiley face but when proudly looking at the result, noticed it was right next to the big "F" that I had graded it. FML

#21352870
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23767) - you deserved it (9182)

On 02/09/2015 at 5:58pm - work - by tirf -

Today, I went to dinner with an amazing guy. At the end he said he had to go to the washroom. 15 min later he was still MIA, so I figured he'd ditched me with the bill. I paid and left. 10 min later he texted me, asking where I was. Turns out he hadn't ditched me. He was having "stomach issues." FML

#19991371
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23769) - you deserved it (6103)

On 07/29/2012 at 8:25pm - misc - by oops (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML

#8541185
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23765) - you deserved it (2842)

On 02/22/2010 at 12:44am - health - by Username - United States

Today, my husband sat me down on the couch so he could share some "awesome" news with me. He excitedly declared that he and his idiot drinking buddies are planning on running a real-life Fight Club out of our basement. FML

#19247748
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23764) - you deserved it (2884)

On 03/09/2012 at 9:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my sleep-walking is so bad that I regularly text my friend while I sleep. I have no idea how many times this has happened. FML

#20455938
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23766) - you deserved it (3064)

On 01/12/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by I'm screwed - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to the grocery store, and I realized that all I bought was cat food and $30 worth of protein bars. Yes, I have become THAT single woman. FML

#7560718
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23763) - you deserved it (6518)

On 01/25/2010 at 12:33am - love - by Phoenix0614 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend went in for a kiss too fast and broke my front tooth. FML

#19649940
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23763) - you deserved it (2193)

On 05/20/2012 at 1:19am - misc - by slayerdeath - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had my first job interview for eight months. My interviewer noticeably yawned during my reply to the first question. FML

#15975496
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23763) - you deserved it (4368)

On 04/29/2011 at 7:36am - work - by Kebabjoon (man) - Spain

Today, I found out that my six year old cousin has a raging crush on my boyfriend. She lives across the street and watches from her window for his car to appear in front of my house. She's indicated that she'll stop at nothing until he's hers. FML

#20028447
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23763) - you deserved it (1971)

On 08/18/2012 at 4:34pm - kids - by yoggabe (woman) - Mexico (Tabasco)



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