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Today, while sitting next to the cute guy in my English class, I had to sneeze. I turned away from him and sneezed into my arm. My long hair got in the way and I accidentally shot a huge snot rocket into my hair. I spent the rest of the class trying to get it out without him noticing. FML

#14450678
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24154) - you deserved it (4583)

On 01/03/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by klyoung5 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to find my power was out. After taking a shower in the dark and being unable to make myself lunch, my power came on two minutes before I had to leave for school. FML

#10669832
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24153) - you deserved it (3565)

On 05/21/2010 at 3:12pm - misc - by Samuel (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my first day at work as a waitress. The day ended with me owing my employers money, after I accidentally smashed an expensive bottle of wine on the floor. FML

#18493927
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24155) - you deserved it (4702)

On 12/12/2011 at 12:08pm - work - by isuckasawaitress (woman) - Singapore

Today, I had to go into the school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML

#20061403
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24152) - you deserved it (2963)

On 09/07/2012 at 1:08am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to rush to school to avoid being late. Unfortunately, I forgot to put a bra on beforehand, and as soon as I got to gym class, the first thing my teacher said was: "Okay folks, let's get outside, we're running the mile." FML

#135663
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24150) - you deserved it (36836)

On 02/25/2009 at 6:29pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML

#21350431
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24150) - you deserved it (14057)

On 02/05/2015 at 4:03pm - misc - by gumchuck (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I started the day at my local Starbucks. I was greeted with smiles from everyone I made eye contact with and left the store feeling really good about myself. I got home and checked myself out in the mirror, only to realize I had cut myself shaving and my neck was covered in dried blood. FML

Today, I made my friends and family laugh by trying to put on costume glasses with a giant super-sized nose attached to them. They laughed hysterically. Not because of the gigantic nose, but because my real nose was radically bigger and the fake one wouldn't fit over it. FML

#19606582
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24148) - you deserved it (3181)

On 05/11/2012 at 9:24am - misc - by MobPerfect (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML

#19740850
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24147) - you deserved it (3757)

On 06/05/2012 at 9:19pm - love - by whyme27 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was sitting on a plane waiting for everyone to get on. A cute guy around my age had the option of sitting next to me or an old guy. He gave me a horrified look and immediately sat next to the old man. I got to sit next to his mother. She evil eyed me the whole time. FML

#13567439
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24146) - you deserved it (3130)

On 10/23/2010 at 8:50pm - misc - by ugly me - United States (Colorado)

Today, after having lost my phone three days ago, I paid a $150 non-refundable fee to have my phone replaced and mailed to me by Tuesday. A half hour later, I found my original phone. FML

#20491153
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24146) - you deserved it (14657)

On 02/03/2013 at 2:14am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML

#18750908
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24146) - you deserved it (3572)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my father was pruning the tree in our front yard. I was helping him collect the falling branches. At one point, a branch fell and I was under it. My father jumped to push me out of the way. Instead he pushed the branch into my face. FML

#7011501
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24140) - you deserved it (2713)

On 12/29/2009 at 9:21am - misc - by patrickRafael (man) - Singapore



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