By IDon’tKnowAnymore - Canada - Ottawa Today, my girlfriend kept texting me while I was at work, insisting for hours that I leave early because she was so horny. After arguing with my boss and then going to her place, not only did she not want sex, she also wanted me to leave and told me she never wanted to see me again. FML I agree, your life sucks 5182 You deserved it 1167 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ouch - Australia - Port Melbourne Today, I asked the guy of my dreams out to the cinema. After saying to me "It's a date!" I started booking tickets. He said, "Why are you booking two?" I looked at him confused and then he said, "What about Dave? Dave? My boyfriend." FML I agree, your life sucks 2976 You deserved it 507 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Maidenhead Today, I was trying on wedding dresses and didn't realise I had started my period. I managed to ruin 6 dresses before I noticed. The company wants me to pay for them. I can't afford it. FML I agree, your life sucks 3158 You deserved it 1338 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lala - United Kingdom - Dollar Today, I built a computer with 8 graphics cards that were really expensive. Yeah, they all blew up except the one that cost half the price of the rest. FML I agree, your life sucks 2466 You deserved it 934 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Richmond Hill Today, I was going to have sex for the first time, but when my girlfriend and I got naked, I couldn't get it up. I eventually got hard but it involved me thinking about the time I accidentally saw my girlfriend's brother naked. I think I may be gay. FML I agree, your life sucks 4425 You deserved it 809 41 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By weezie757 - Canada Today, it only took 25 minutes of working before I was covered in old man pee. I think that's a new personal best. FML I agree, your life sucks 2321 You deserved it 165 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MystalBlue - Netherlands - Utrecht Today, I made a little girl cry. How? She saw my face, got scared, and ran away crying. I thought I wasn't that ugly. FML I agree, your life sucks 2678 You deserved it 182 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By UnicornCinnamon - Romania - Cluj-napoca Today, my mother called me while she was shopping to tell me that she found a unicorn onesie. When I asked her to buy one for me, she started to laugh and told me that they are for teens, not for "old goats" like me. I'm 21. FML I agree, your life sucks 2543 You deserved it 639 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By THAT'S THE LAST STRAW!!! - Philippines - Pasay City Today, my mom's boyfriend's son stole from me again, this time it's my $4000 gaming laptop. I confronted them about it, and he ignored me as my mom yelled at me to "Grow up and quit my whining about toys!" When I told my buddy, he said to just beat him up. I would, if only he wasn't 10. FML I agree, your life sucks 3298 You deserved it 298 47 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Maidenhead Today, my partner heard the cat about to puke and shoved her off the bed. I found this out in the morning. With my foot. FML I agree, your life sucks 2466 You deserved it 241 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SSS - United Kingdom - London Today, I sharted. While I was naked. Standing on a new carpet in my girlfriend's bedroom. In front of my girlfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 2910 You deserved it 835 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By caittorr - Canada - Saint-jean-sur-richelieu Today, we left the cat alone all day for the first time in months, and came back home 11.5 hours later to three enormous puddles of vomit. We then spent $450 at the vet only to find out that our cat is perfectly healthy. He just has separation anxiety. FML I agree, your life sucks 2789 You deserved it 638 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By traumatized - Canada - Joliette Today, I accidentally opened my dad's sex tape. For the second time. FML I agree, your life sucks 2531 You deserved it 2007 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By BackedOff - Belgium Today, in bed, my wife took her vibrator and started masturbating. Feeling excited, I went down to help her. She told me to knock it off 'cause she couldn't focus. FML I agree, your life sucks 2840 You deserved it 608 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Bulgaria - Plovdiv Today, my girlfriend and I went hiking in the mountains. She didn't tell me that she had packed meat to cook in my bag. About two hours after we set out, a wolf attacked me but I pepper sprayed it and it ran off. After that my girlfriend looked at me and said "You didn't have to hurt the doggy." FML I agree, your life sucks 3366 You deserved it 335 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sicko - Egypt Today, while my 8-year-old was at school, I got a call saying that he shat and peed himself and then attacked a girl with his shit. FML I agree, your life sucks 3183 You deserved it 354 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Vancouver Today, I was sitting on my balcony at night when the house across from me had a light that started blinking. I know Morse code and the messages said, "Help, I am kidnapped." Naturally, I called the police, but it was just some bratty kid. I'm in trouble for wasting police time. FML I agree, your life sucks 3448 You deserved it 330 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nabru - Brazil - Florian?polis Today, I reached my goal weight. My arms and legs are thin, but my face looks horrible and my belly didn't reduce an inch. FML I agree, your life sucks 2749 You deserved it 282 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Joy - Canada - Winnipeg Today, my cat got stuck under the dishwasher. After getting her out, I put her in the washroom to prevent her from bugging me while I closed off the bottom of the dishwasher so she can't get stuck again. She locked herself in the washroom by opening the drawer directly behind the door. FML I agree, your life sucks 2702 You deserved it 375 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sarita - Canada Today, for lunch I bought a burger, fries and milkshake. As I went to sit down the milkshake spilled all over the table, in my failed attempt to catch it I also managed to spill my fries all over the floor. FML I agree, your life sucks 2857 You deserved it 387 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By willkftw - Australia - Blackburn Today, while teaching my brother to drive on the freeway, I told him to downshift from 4th to 3rd. He went into 1st instead, blowing my engine and transmission. I can't afford to get it fixed. FML I agree, your life sucks 2543 You deserved it 539 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Girl - Netherlands - Amsterdam Today, I had a job interview for my dream job. Then I got a call saying it was cancelled because of a policy change that was issued this morning. I applied over a month ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 2494 You deserved it 124 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Notarealwaifu - Japan - Kunitachi Today, after a 3-month dry spell and countless rejections, I gave up on being intimate with my girlfriend. Imagine my surprise when she came on to me and took me to bed. What triggered the love-making? Apparently she got horny from looking at an anime character's cleavage. FML I agree, your life sucks 2710 You deserved it 301 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By idaaan - Sweden - Karlstad Today, when I came home, my dildo was placed in the middle of the bed. I last put it in my drawer. I only live with my dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 3479 You deserved it 426 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By OwieOwie - United Kingdom - Tewkesbury Today, my gallstones flared up so badly an ambulance was called. I needed the strongest painkillers they could supply and had even more at the hospital. When my boyfriend came to visit me, instead of comforting words, he told me that "being kicked in the balls is still worse". FML I agree, your life sucks 2996 You deserved it 290 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Deciduous - Australia - Gungahlin Today, I felt an itch on the small toe of my right foot and brushed away what I thought was a large flake of dry skin without thinking. Turns out my entire toenail fell off. According to my mother, the same thing occasionally happens to her "for no apparent reason". FML I agree, your life sucks 2865 You deserved it 163 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fail2.0 - Sweden - Skinnskatteberg Today, I was going to put up wallpaper in my bedroom, so I asked my stepdad to switch off the electricity as there was an output on the wall. I started to cut out the wallpaper to fit and accidentally stuck my finger in there. The power was not off. An ambulance had to come check my heart rhythm. FML I agree, your life sucks 2951 You deserved it 457 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Westerose Today, I broke up with the guy I've been dating for 6 months. His response was to destroy my $200 Japanese chef knife. I'm an apprentice cook and that knife means the world to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 2676 You deserved it 230 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Damn millennials! - Philippines - Taguig Today, I was at the mall with my 7-year-old granddaughter. When we entered a clothing store, she pulled me back, saying loudly, "Grandma! This is 'Forever 21'! 'Currently 58' is down that way!" I blame my son for this little troll. FML I agree, your life sucks 3025 You deserved it 326 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rachgirl6 - Australia Today, after I ran and just caught the train home after work, it took me 4 stops to realise I had driven to work that day. FML I agree, your life sucks 2684 You deserved it 862 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, makes a year since my mom mentioned to me that she and my dad prayed for a still born baby over a gay one. At the time of her telling me this it... I agree, your life sucks 13 You deserved it 3 0 Comments
Today I kicked our cat. And realized, the thing about cats is: They have no concept of the fact that humans cannot see them in the dark. FML I agree, your life sucks 36 You deserved it 37 0 Comments
Today, my best friend confided in me that she's going to have sex with her cousin. Shocked, I tried to convince her not to and how it's a horrible idea.... I agree, your life sucks 843 You deserved it 124 8 Comments
Today, my ex-girlfriend called me say she needed her car repaired. I fixed it as fast as I could so she could get back on her way, only to find out she’s... I agree, your life sucks 541 You deserved it 429 6 Comments