Game Ranking

By caittorr - / Sunday 11 November 2018 16:00 / Canada - Saint-jean-sur-richelieu

World

Today, I accidentally opened my dad's sex tape. For the second time. FML

Today, in bed, my wife took her vibrator and started masturbating. Feeling excited, I went down to help her. She told me to knock it off 'cause she couldn't focus. FML

By traumatized - / Saturday 10 November 2018 21:00 / Canada - Joliette

World

Belgium

Today, my girlfriend and I went hiking in the mountains. She didn't tell me that she had packed meat to cook in my bag. About two hours after we set out, a wolf attacked me but I pepper sprayed it and it ran off. After that my girlfriend looked at me and said "You didn't have to hurt the doggy." FML

By BackedOff - / Saturday 10 November 2018 05:00 / Belgium

World

Bulgaria

Today, while my 8-year-old was at school, I got a call saying that he shat and peed himself and then attacked a girl with his shit. FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 9 November 2018 04:00 / Bulgaria - Plovdiv

World

Egypt

By sicko - / Wednesday 7 November 2018 18:30 / Egypt

World

Today, I was sitting on my balcony at night when the house across from me had a light that started blinking. I know Morse code and the messages said, "Help, I am kidnapped." Naturally, I called the police, but it was just some bratty kid. I'm in trouble for wasting police time. FML

Today, I reached my goal weight. My arms and legs are thin, but my face looks horrible and my belly didn't reduce an inch. FML

By Anonymous - / Tuesday 6 November 2018 13:18 / Canada - Vancouver

World

Brazil

By nabru - / Tuesday 6 November 2018 14:30 / Brazil - Florian?polis

World

Today, my cat got stuck under the dishwasher. After getting her out, I put her in the washroom to prevent her from bugging me while I closed off the bottom of the dishwasher so she can't get stuck again. She locked herself in the washroom by opening the drawer directly behind the door. FML

By Joy - / Monday 5 November 2018 10:30 / Canada - Winnipeg

World

Today, for lunch I bought a burger, fries and milkshake. As I went to sit down the milkshake spilled all over the table, in my failed attempt to catch it I also managed to spill my fries all over the floor. FML

By sarita - / Sunday 4 November 2018 08:30 / Canada

World

Today, while teaching my brother to drive on the freeway, I told him to downshift from 4th to 3rd. He went into 1st instead, blowing my engine and transmission. I can't afford to get it fixed. FML

Today, I had a job interview for my dream job. Then I got a call saying it was cancelled because of a policy change that was issued this morning. I applied over a month ago. FML

By willkftw - / Saturday 3 November 2018 23:30 / Australia - Blackburn

World

Netherlands

Today, after a 3-month dry spell and countless rejections, I gave up on being intimate with my girlfriend. Imagine my surprise when she came on to me and took me to bed. What triggered the love-making? Apparently she got horny from looking at an anime character's cleavage. FML

By Girl - / Friday 2 November 2018 15:30 / Netherlands - Amsterdam

World

Japan

Today, when I came home, my dildo was placed in the middle of the bed. I last put it in my drawer. I only live with my dad. FML

By Notarealwaifu - / Friday 2 November 2018 13:00 / Japan - Kunitachi

World

Sweden

Today, my gallstones flared up so badly an ambulance was called. I needed the strongest painkillers they could supply and had even more at the hospital. When my boyfriend came to visit me, instead of comforting words, he told me that "being kicked in the balls is still worse". FML

By idaaan - / Wednesday 31 October 2018 03:00 / Sweden - Karlstad

World

United Kingdom

By OwieOwie - / Monday 29 October 2018 11:00 / United Kingdom - Tewkesbury

World

Today, I felt an itch on the small toe of my right foot and brushed away what I thought was a large flake of dry skin without thinking. Turns out my entire toenail fell off. According to my mother, the same thing occasionally happens to her "for no apparent reason". FML

Today, I was going to put up wallpaper in my bedroom, so I asked my stepdad to switch off the electricity as there was an output on the wall. I started to cut out the wallpaper to fit and accidentally stuck my finger in there. The power was not off. An ambulance had to come check my heart rhythm. FML

By Deciduous - / Sunday 28 October 2018 22:00 / Australia - Gungahlin

World

Sweden

By fail2.0 - / Saturday 27 October 2018 22:00 / Sweden - Skinnskatteberg

World

Today, I broke up with the guy I've been dating for 6 months. His response was to destroy my $200 Japanese chef knife. I'm an apprentice cook and that knife means the world to me. FML

Today, I was at the mall with my 7-year-old granddaughter. When we entered a clothing store, she pulled me back, saying loudly, "Grandma! This is 'Forever 21'! 'Currently 58' is down that way!" I blame my son for this little troll. FML

By Anonymous - / Saturday 27 October 2018 04:00 / Canada - Westerose

World

Philippines

By Damn millennials! - / Thursday 25 October 2018 23:45 / Philippines - Taguig

World

Today, after I ran and just caught the train home after work, it took me 4 steps to realise I had driven to work that day. FML

By rachgirl6 - / Monday 22 October 2018 23:00 / Australia

World

Today, I found out why my art teacher was so reluctant to return my artwork that he'd borrowed to display. He dropped a white splotch of paint in the centre of my black scratch art, which is irreversible, and tried to cover it up without telling me. I spent 2 months on that thing. FML

Today, one of my younger nephews had an epileptic seizure. My mom started to administer wrong treatments she learned from Google. Being a doctor, I told her she'll make it worse. She then told me to shut up because I'm inexperienced, saying that Google has been there longer than I've been a doctor. FML

By Starving artist - / Monday 22 October 2018 05:00 / Canada - Courtenay

World

Philippines

Today, I had to go to the hospital because I broke my leg in a sex accident. The doctor is my boyfriend's mom. I had to explain everything to her. FML

By you win again Dr.Google.... you win - / Monday 22 October 2018 18:00 / Philippines - Para?aque

World

Bosnia and Herzegovina

By slaya - / Sunday 21 October 2018 13:30 / Bosnia and Herzegovina - Visoko

World

Today, my fiancée and I saw my parents at a store. This would've been a nice surprise if it wasn't a sex shop. FML

Today, at a job interview, I was asked what I dislike the most, to which I blurted out "people". I don't think I'm landing this one. FML

By Fuckkkk - / Saturday 20 October 2018 14:00 / Australia - Port Melbourne

World

Portugal

Today, I got into a huge fight with a 6’3” 200 lb guy over my girlfriend of a month, who he claims to have been dating for 2 months. I'm 6’1” myself, but I’m not jacked at all. My girlfriend stood there watching us fight, and revealed at the end that she has a twin. FML

By Lubitueh - / Friday 19 October 2018 02:00 / Portugal - Carnaxide

World

India

Today, my boss gave our coffee machine to her sister-in-law. I work in a cafe. FML

By DoubleTrouble - / Tuesday 16 October 2018 17:30 / India

World

Germany

Today, I met a really sweet cute guy on a dinner date. Too bad he was the waiter instead of my date. FML

By H.B - / Sunday 14 October 2018 17:30 / Germany

World

Norway

By right date wrong guy - / Sunday 14 October 2018 15:30 / Norway - Oslo

World

Today, after two months of lab research, I finally had a day off. I decided to treat myself to gourmet sun-dried tomatoes, as well as some fresh pasta for dinner. I split the entire pot of boiling water down my body and spent nearly 7 hours at the hospital. I also vomited the tomatoes up. FML

Today, after many months of physical therapy for my broken ankle and months of going to college with crutches, my doctor suddenly noticed that my bones hadn't grown together properly. I'm going to have to have another surgery and redo my entire year in college. FML

By ClumsyDumbsy - / Saturday 13 October 2018 23:00 / Australia

World

Russian Federation

Today, my wife and I finally had the house to ourselves as the kids are away. With all the buildup of a date night after the troubles we've been having, I thought this was the chance to get us back on track. She's asleep on the sofa at 8:30pm. FML

By Anthony - / Saturday 13 October 2018 23:00 / Russian Federation - Saint Petersburg

World

United Kingdom