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Today, I've spent hours looking at photos of my husband and his ex-girlfriends that his mother keeps in a photo album. She doesn't have any pictures of us. We're married and expecting our first child. FML

By Anonymous - / Monday 18 September 2017 21:45 / Slovenia - Medvode
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Today, I realized that all my teammates have bigger tits than I do. I'm the only girl on the team. FML

By footballist - / Friday 8 September 2017 23:15 / Poland - Polska
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By anon - / Sunday 3 September 2017 21:45 / Belgium - Aarschot
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By FireFarter - / Wednesday 30 August 2017 21:45 / Netherlands - Amsterdam
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By DepressedSigh - / Sunday 27 August 2017 21:45 / Germany
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Today, I got my period while spray tanning. FML

By pechfogl - / Saturday 26 August 2017 21:45 / Austria
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By Anonymous - / Saturday 26 August 2017 03:45 / Singapore
World

Today, whilst on holiday in Bali, I set off on my way to the day spa for 4 hours of much-needed relaxation. I tripped about a meter away from the entrance and broke my arm. FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 25 August 2017 05:45 / Indonesia - Bali
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By stupidity - / Wednesday 23 August 2017 21:45 / Egypt - Cairo
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Today, I took a picture of a carrot that closely resembled a penis and sent it to one of my friends. My parents saw the photo and grounded me, thinking it was an actual dick pic. They refuse to believe otherwise. FML

By Havinci - / Tuesday 22 August 2017 20:00 / Egypt
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Today, my mates and I decided to get inked. I chose a chest tattoo of my last name, Coch. I'll let you guess what it looked like when I was finally able to inspect the damage. FML

By James - / Sunday 20 August 2017 16:00 / Czech Republic - Prague
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Today, while waiting in line at the supermarket, a mother told me to be considerate and not buy the candy I was paying for, because it made her screaming toddler jealous. FML

By Candy girl - / Sunday 20 August 2017 01:30 / Denmark
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Today, I went on my first date in a year with a guy I met just a couple hours ago. I went back to my hotel to get better dressed and met him at the bar. I brought my purse, he brought his girlfriend. FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 17 August 2017 22:45 / Romania
World

Today, on my second week in my new job, I opened my desk drawer of snacks. Apparently no one had bothered to tell me that there's an office rat or mouse that the building management refuses to do anything about. FML

By Stan017 - / Thursday 17 August 2017 03:45 / Singapore - Singapore
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By Krysis - / Tuesday 15 August 2017 15:45 / Trinidad and Tobago - Fyzabad
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By Melonn3105 - / Tuesday 15 August 2017 03:45 / Brunei
World

Today, I asked my boyfriend to meet me in the park to talk. Just when I wanted to break up, he knelt down on one knee and proposed. I had to reject him in front of a whole crowd of people. FML

By rubyroyal123 - / Sunday 13 August 2017 21:45 / Netherlands
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Today, my mother pointed out to me how much my fiancé looks like my brother. She's right. I never noticed before, but now I can't unsee it. I don't think I'll ever be able to touch him again. FML

By deerlord - / Saturday 12 August 2017 21:45 / Switzerland - Zurich
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By AngelNi - / Friday 11 August 2017 21:45 / Czech Republic - Brno
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By Angie - / Thursday 10 August 2017 21:45 / Netherlands - Amsterdam
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By Anonymous - / Saturday 5 August 2017 05:00 / Netherlands
World

Today, I found out I will not be moving back to California. My mom told me we were going to go on a 2 month vacation to see family in India. She decided we are staying for good. FML

By WhatisLife - / Thursday 27 July 2017 09:00 / Bangladesh - Dhaka
World

Today, I got into an accident in my girlfriend's car. While I was in the emergency room, crying from the pain, she reassured me, "don't worry, you can pay me for the damage in several installments if you need to." FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 14 July 2017 21:30 / Italy
World

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend gave me a squeaky dog toy because "I don't know why, but it made me think of you." FML

By rupture-imminente - / Wednesday 12 July 2017 21:00 / France
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By Anonymous - / Monday 10 July 2017 21:00 / Argentina
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By Anonymous - / Thursday 6 July 2017 21:00 / Italy
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By unefoispasdeux - / Tuesday 4 July 2017 21:00 / France - Paris
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Today, I played back the images of the tiny camera I attached to the collar of my cat to figure out where she goes when she disappears for several days at a time. I found my husband with another woman in our bed. FML

By Anonymous - / Thursday 29 June 2017 21:00 / Italy
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