ManualBeatle56

OP here. I don't know if I'm doing this correctly, but here goes. Thank you for the encouraging comments, even the harsh ones. I'm aware of how ridiculous this sounds... Trust me. I have two good female friends who I'm sure are tired of me harping away on this. It hasn't been years of me staring at him through foggy windows, all sad. I've dated other people and so has he. It wasn't easy because truly, I love him. Circumstances just didn't allow for us to be together... Whether he wanted to or not. So, I chose to keep his friendship and not risk it. We are adults now and things have changed. It's perfect, but I feel like so much time has passed that he no longer sees me as a girl he'd want to be with now that its possible. We have a special bond and as much as it devastates me to think he would reject me, it would kill me to see everything we have just turn into something ugly.

Hi guys, this is OP :) I've come back to give a little update about my life since this FML was posted. So, I wrote this when I was 14 years old, and I am now 17. I have always wanted to have a career helping people. That ideology has never left me, and probably never will. In the past three years, I have partaken in discussions and done my own research, and I have come to the conclusion that religion is not for me. Originally I wanted to be a priest, however I no longer wish to continue down that path. Once I have completed high school, I plan to enter medical school. Doctors Without Borders is the main goal I'm aiming for. The belief that I was put on this earth to help and serve my fellow man, is an ideology that was given to me by religion. This belief has always stuck with me, even though my faith has not. Reading some of the comments on my post, I also wanted to mention that I am gay, and I have never had any conflict between my sexuality and religious beliefs in the past, and to this day, I have not experienced any 'hateful dogma' from the church. The only person who has given me grief was my mother - she has not supported me in the past, and she does not support me now. We get along as friends, but behind her 'funny' FML worthy quips, she can be quite hurtful. Religion provided me with comfort and support when my family did not. These days, I find that same solace in helping others. I don't know if anyone will read this, but if they do, thanks for taking the time to hear my story! If anyone replies, I can only hope that I'll read it and reply before another 3 years has passed. Thanks again! -OP