Confused?
By Anonymous - 26/06/2013 07:09 - Australia
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done, wrong turn. Go back.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return, you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Your FML account is now linked to your Facebook account.
You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You seem to be glued to FML. Shall we set a tent up for you to sleep in?
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
You've liked 20 FMLs, and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs you liked.
By Anonymous - 26/06/2013 07:09 - Australia
By Lepisma - 26/06/2013 07:19 - United States - College Station
By vbecka - 26/06/2013 17:08 - Norway - Oslo
Hi! OP here! :) first off all: wow! I never expected this to make it to the FMLpage! Don't worry, people. I posted this because it was funny. I was very, very embarrassed when I walked out to the living room and saw everybody and realized that I hadn't been alone after all(my parents came home from their trip to our cabin with their friends a day earlier than they had planned.) But I laughed at it after I realized how funny it was. And it's extra funny that you guys automatically assumed that I'm a guy! I'm actually a girl. haha! Which is why I felt so embarrassed, since I've never met those particularly friends of my parents. Great first impression, don't you think? lol. but they smiled and joked around, trying to make me feel less embarrassed, so it's all good!
By authorx - 27/06/2013 04:39 - Canada - Toronto
By confusedbagel - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Los Angeles
By Anonymous - 27/06/2013 12:13 - United Kingdom
By rubgy_lover - 27/06/2013 15:02 - Canada - Surrey
By Guntherdog - 27/06/2013 15:17 - United States
By Anonymous - 27/06/2013 16:58 - Finland - Nykarleby
By brigitte - 27/06/2013 17:35 - France - Noyon
By Anonymous - 27/06/2013 20:27 - United States - Las Vegas
By keiran123 - 27/06/2013 23:15 - United States - Welsh
By smh - 27/06/2013 23:37 - United States - Milltown
By Gribby - 27/06/2013 23:56 - United States - Branson
By Auroraen - 28/06/2013 01:23 - United States - Oswego
OP here. Wow. Thanks for all the nice words, guys. My "puppy" is a 120lb, 9 month old Great Dane. Her name is Lily, and she is worse than Marmaduke and Marly put together. She is a total troublemaker. I had made zucchini bread, beef stew, a bunch of sides, as well as a cake. All of it was from scratch. I had actually put one of those baby gates across the entry-way to the kitchen, and she ended up knocking it over. Next time, I think she's going in the cage while I take a shower. And btw, I did just order a pizza. Everyone had a good laugh at me. And yes, she's practically impossible to stay mad at.
By Anonymous - 28/06/2013 03:57 - United States
By not cool - 28/06/2013 05:16 - Australia - Sunnybank
By unknown relationship - 28/06/2013 05:23 - United States - Shorewood
By LaLince - 28/06/2013 08:17 - Switzerland - Full
Hi folks, OP here. He took the hint.. If there will be a next time, I'll use my cell phone.
By Trillian87 - 28/06/2013 10:28 - United Kingdom - Coventry
This little story actually happened a little while ago, I had to use the "Today" form because of the page's standard, but at least I can tell you how it ends. I moved into the flat when I was barely 19, while the flatmate-stalker (also nicknamed The 28 Years Old Virgin) was seven years older than me. He started to be obsessed with me after we went to the cinema together (the other two flatmates were supposed to come with us but they didn't), and he got convinced we were on a date. I didn't move out because at the time I was quite naive and I was getting together well with everyone else, plus the flat was really close to my uni and relatively cheap, and I thought that he was about to graduate anyway. His parents, for the records, are creepier than him: his dad came to visit once and my roommate caught him opening our wardrobe and going through our clothes, about a month before this episode. After graduation he had to move out because his mum wasn't willing to pay for the rent anymore and found him a job (he wanted to stay a bit longer but fortunately didn't happen), and came to visit unannounced a few times. About one year after he sent me a text out of nowhere (I didn't speak with him for months) saying that it was over and he was sorry if he did something to make me want to break up with him, so I guess that at that point after imagining us dating and getting together I probably left him. I hear he's doing fine and got his first girlfriend.
I usually handle smaller spiders okay unless they surprise me, but these guys were big. This happened at about 1 am last night and my housemate was asleep, so a vacuum was not an option. I did use big spray. In fact, I nailed the first one three times and it shrugged it off like a BAMF (it was a Texan spider, after all). I actually already have a cat - two, in fact. They were very interested in the spiders, but I didn't want them to get bitten, so I didn't let them get close enough to attack. I finally got the first one in a cup with a lid and filled that sucker up with the bug spray. That worked! Then I saw the second one and about died, myself. It ended up under a cup eventually, too, and met Mr. Shoe. Thanks for the suggestions, though - they made me laugh!