darthb0bby

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Darthb0bby's favorite FMLs

By vanillatwilight2 - 21/11/2012 04:50 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 049

You deserved it 2 860

vanillatwilight2 tells us more.

vanillatwilight2 6

Wednesday 21 November 2012 9:33

Hey guys, OP Here! (I realised I wasn't logged in when I posted this FML) Just letting you guys know that I don't actually live in Auckland and I do live in one of the towns that could be affected by the volcano.

By jobsearching - 21/11/2012 20:43 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having a BDSM theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 810

You deserved it 4 694

By nekkidness - 21/11/2012 21:06 - United States - Carthage

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 562

You deserved it 39 042

By Anonymous - 25/11/2012 21:34 - Netherlands - Tilburg

Today, an hour after having been turned down for sex, I walked in on my wife fingering herself to a copy of War and Peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 517

You deserved it 4 679

By Bella - 15/01/2013 18:57 - United States - Sanford

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 148

You deserved it 7 853

Overcompensating

By daddy's girl - 22/01/2013 04:08 - United States - Springfield

Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 715

You deserved it 3 130

By Anonymous - 23/01/2013 01:33 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I discovered that my downstairs neighbor is running a business out of her apartment. Or I should say, her pimp is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 997

You deserved it 2 558

By I should have kept my mouth shut - 23/01/2013 01:35 - United States - Davis

Today, I was talking to my grandma and I mentioned the fact that tomatoes are technically fruit. It's been an hour and she's still yelling, accusing me of lying to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 854

You deserved it 4 620

By great - 25/01/2013 20:36 - Puerto Rico - San Juan

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 804

You deserved it 6 591

By ohfuckwaffles - 29/01/2013 05:28 - United States - Bremerton

Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 671

You deserved it 23 439

ohfuckwaffles tells us more.

ohfuckwaffles 6

Wednesday 30 January 2013 4:58

OP here. Thanks for the support, everyone - I have told her, and, while she's definitely not into it, at least she doesn't plan to leave me over it. To those of you wondering whether I'm a transvestite, a crossdresser, a transexual, or transgendered - there are waaay too many of these names, and it's confusing. How about I explain it this way: I'm a girl on the inside, and I'm still attracted to girls (a lesbian, perhaps?). I don't mind my body, and I don't mind wearing men's clothes (heck, it's what I grew up with), but I'd like to see what more is out there... I've been hiding it and ignoring it and thinking I'm wrong for a long time, but my control is obviously slipping.

By Anonymous - 04/02/2013 17:17 - United States - Durham

Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 468

You deserved it 3 900