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Morgan Kwn

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lovers5201

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Understandable

sweetlilthing - 31/05/2020 17:00

Today, my husband is depressed because the government is relaxing coronavirus isolation and he doesn’t want to have to return to talking to people, or having family drop by unexpectedly, or socialising at all. He prefers being stuck at home as an antisocial Xbox and Netflix goblin FML

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White line fever

Anonymous - 10/04/2020 17:00

Today, I've been using a lot of Flonase recently for my stuffy nose, and my 4 year-old happens to call it "mommy's special nose medicine" out loud all the time. My neighbors now think I do cocaine. FML

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The Lion King

Anonymous - 09/12/2019 03:00 - United States - New Milford

Today, my boyfriend took the semen that got on his thumb, rubbed it across my forehead, and whispered, "Simba." FML

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Deliverance

Anonymous - 19/09/2019 20:00

Today, while at my family reunion, I learned my grandparents were first cousins. No wonder we're all crazy hillbillies. FML

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harrington61 - 19/05/2013 21:27 - United States - Midland

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

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