UDontSay123

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Los Angeles, US
29 years-old
Wednesday 06 November 1996
Single

About Udontsay123

Nothing to tell.

Udontsay123 - Followers

Udontsay123 - Followed

ThatKidFro...

Udontsay123's page visits

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Udontsay123's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

FAAAAAACEBOOK

Your FML account is now linked to your Facebook account.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

It's in the can!

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

YDI Master

You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.

Master spy - Maxwell Smart level

You're following 100 people

Amateur spy - Johnny English level

You're following 50 people

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Judgmental

You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.

Godlike spy - 007 level

You're following 200 people

The list of badges to find

Udontsay123's favorite FMLs

By Hannah - 04/03/2012 20:46 - United States

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 019

You deserved it 31 805

Up it goes

By 0stvn0 - 16/03/2012 01:18 - Canada

Today, my doctor booked me in for an STI test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said, "Gonna be honest Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 803

You deserved it 5 702

By Anonymous - 16/05/2012 21:56 - Sweden - V?llingby

Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 213

You deserved it 39 750

By maggierose171 - 19/05/2012 15:08 - United States - Rosendale

Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 366

You deserved it 5 754

By girly girly - 26/05/2012 14:42 - United States - Keller

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 197

You deserved it 47 003

By Anonymous - 06/08/2012 19:50 - United States

Today, I called in to my girlfriend's favorite radio station to propose. After spending what seemed like an eternity telling her how much I love her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her, she took a deep breath, said, "How about no?" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 263

You deserved it 4 470

By Anonymous - 21/08/2012 00:46 - United States - Oregon

Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 835

You deserved it 2 144

By Jessica - 19/10/2023 16:25 - United States

Today, I found out that two kids were able to, without much effort, convince my 16-year-old daughter that her friend's house was used to smuggle out Jews during WWII. His house was built in 2007. We also live in America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 056

You deserved it 3 506

By Anonymous - 22/08/2012 06:01 - Australia - Camberwell

Today, the man who tried to mug me sent me a friend request on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 707

You deserved it 2 127

By chrisbravo - 23/08/2012 06:54 - United States

Today, I had a hard time taking a dump. Before flushing, I noticed two pennies and a dime incrusted in my turd. It seems that yesterday, while drunk, I swallowed some change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 053

You deserved it 32 307

chrisbravo tells us more.

chrisbravo 4

Friday 24 August 2012 3:35

OP replies: It was a hell of a night. It "changed" my life.

By thekriss - 23/08/2012 20:28 - France - Paris

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 947

You deserved it 12 120

Geography major

By dating a fucking idiot - 08/09/2012 19:16 - United States

Today, my father bet me $200 that since my boyfriend is "such a stupid shit," he wouldn't be able to locate Paraguay on a map. I gladly accepted the bet. Not only did he not know where it is, he actually accused us of making the country up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 926

You deserved it 13 928

By anonymous - 09/09/2012 06:15 - United States

Today, I tripped over my dog and landed on my face while trying to prove to my father that I can walk and chew gum at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 307

You deserved it 26 060

Bored to tears

By kevcng - 10/09/2012 21:20 - United States

Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 757

You deserved it 8 005

By CaptainSaveAHoe - 11/09/2012 00:42 - United States - Manteca

Today, I was trying to pass a lady with a stroller, when she nearly fell. I used my ninja-like reflexes to catch her. Too bad my ninja-like reflexes didn't block the punch that she delivered to my fap-stick for apparently being a "pervert" for saving her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 953

You deserved it 2 653

CaptainSaveAHoe tells us more.

CaptainSaveAHoe 11

Wednesday 12 September 2012 2:11

so I planned for her to slip so I could mug her? the amount of logic in this comment is astounding.

By Burntintomyretinas - 19/09/2012 04:40 - Australia - Chatswood

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house. She'd told me not to ring the doorbell and just come in so that I wouldn't wake her dad up. As I walked upstairs, her father walked out of the bathroom naked. We locked eyes. I can't get the image out of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 879

You deserved it 3 619

By Display - 27/09/2012 04:10 - France - Paris

Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 74

Force of habit

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Netherlands - Apeldoorn

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 478

You deserved it 7 802

By wdunn69733 - 11/10/2012 14:30 - United States - Macon

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 470

You deserved it 10 181

By parentalissues - 15/02/2013 15:50 - United States

Today, whilst on a phone interview with a college I really want to go to, my mother picks up the other line and shouts into the phone "She's not going to college, she's lazy and she'll only disappoint you." The interviewer hung up before I could say anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 378

You deserved it 2 993