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haha, yeah i'm the OP. didn't know you need an account to comment...but I just wanted to clear up something. I didn't want my parents to pay, a simple "you got in" would have been nice. I was planning on doing ROTC and letting Uncle Sam handle my tuition.

That kidnapped kink

By georgiahick - 30/12/2010 14:09

Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 856

You deserved it 6 113

By @KillingerExp - 23/10/2018 14:10 - United States - New York

Today, I got high-fived in the face by a jellyfish. Twice. #FML @KillingerExp

I agree, your life sucks 1 976

You deserved it 259

By SadDad - 22/09/2012 18:11 - United States - Alexandria

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 397

You deserved it 9 827

By feelinnauseous - 24/06/2009 16:48 - United States

Today, I went to a new bar downtown with some friends. I was a little buzzed and had to pee so bad. I rushed into the bathroom and as I sat down I felt a squish on my upper thigh. Turns out the last person in the stall decided to take a shit on the toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 026

You deserved it 15 739

Ripped off

By Anonymous - 07/10/2020 02:02 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I rented a house for 5 years with my girlfriend, only to find out she is the actual owner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 584

You deserved it 263

By Anonymous - 04/12/2014 19:33 - United States

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 653

You deserved it 3 323

By vballqt201 - 21/06/2009 16:03 - United States

Today, I was asking my one year old nephew what noises certain animals make. I decided to trick him and ask him what sound I make. He immediately says, "MOOOO". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 400

You deserved it 17 289

Army dudes

By Anonymous - 02/12/2014 17:39 - United States - Glendale

Today, I received a package from my deployed husband. It contained a scarf, a letter, and a bag full of his pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 372

You deserved it 4 220

By Gob - 16/01/2009 14:36 - United States

Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 826

You deserved it 42 674

Slippery slope

By ur_life_dus_suck - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Wayne

Today, my mom celebrated a year's sobriety by having a couple of beers with her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 606

You deserved it 1 757

By mamaflower - 19/08/2013 08:03 - Australia - Baulkham Hills

Today, I got to watch how easy it is to break into my flat, after I locked myself out and went to my neighbour for help. He used a blunt pencil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 198

You deserved it 3 723

mamaflower tells us more.

mamaflower 23

Tuesday 20 August 2013 0:38

Just so you know, I live in a council estate so I always figured my neighbour would be able to break in if he wanted. It was just a shocked to see how easy it was. And I can't change the locks with out going through a big pile of paper work and waiting for permission. So much hassle. Any way thanks for the funny comments =)