Today, I went to the courthouse to apply for my marriage license and had my mother tag along with me. When I asked one of five security guards where to go, my mom looked at him and said,"You’re suppose to talk her out of it." Thanks, Mom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I called my mom to make sure she could attend on the wedding day my fiancé and I had discussed. She started off with criticizing the venue we considered, then went on to criticize my fiancé, and then stated she would under no circumstances help out, but demanded to pick my wedding dress. FML
Today, my mother-in-law took a phone message on the back of my marriage license. FML
Today, I got married and my mom refused to be there because my dad, whose guts she hates, was there even though I promised repeatedly that I would keep them apart. I couldn't do the mother-son dance. She keeps insisting that it was a "lapse in judgment." Yeah, like we're really going to be able to have a do-over. FML
Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML
Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML
Today, while in line for my prescription, my daughter was interrogating the man behind us. I'm a single mother. She asked the man, "Do you think my mom is pretty? Want to go on a date with her?" When he told her he was married, she replied, "So? You can get a divorce." FML
Today, I got married. My mother told me to stop being difficult, because she was the mother of the bride, and it was her day to shine. FML
Today, my mom was helping me plan for going to college. After 30 minutes of me getting more upset, and her getting more frustrated, she directed me to Tinder, a wedding venue website, and the local address for Planned Parenthood. Her actual words were, "There's no shame in being a stay at home dad these days." FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to go to a car show. I told him to hold on, I had to ask my mom. I quietly asked her to say no for me. She said "Sure!". FML
Today, I went to an amusement park with my family. A couple of cute girls started talking to me, telling me how much they liked my dreads. Seeing this, my mother stepped up next to me, patted me on the shoulder, and said, "This here is my little baby, treat him nicely!" Thanks, Mom. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
Why doesn't she want you to get married?
c00kie14 11
Why didn’t the groom go with her?
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Comments (7)
BurnInDemonFire 39
Why doesn't she want you to get married?
teaspoon04 15
Sometimes parents have intuition about stuff. Sometimes they’re completely off base. Might be worth examining your future marriage now before you get stuck.
RichardPencil 32
I guess she thinks your fiancé won’t be able to support you and thinks the employee is there to guard your security. Mom is too literal.
c00kie14 11
Why didn’t the groom go with her?
TumblrweedPasses 11
I'm sure she was just joking Hopefully security found it funny, or that would've been an awkward silence
Paul B. Gyurcsanszky 14
Not a good start for the wedding
Hangryko 32
Why did your mom go with you instead of your fiancé? Maybe she has a point.