Today, I got a call from my local hospital's emergency room, stating my wife was in labour. My wife and I split years ago, but just haven't divorced. She's been telling everyone I'm the baby's father. My current girlfriend is 7 months pregnant with my child. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML
Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML
Today, my wife and I both got released from the hospital. She was admitted for the birth of our daughter. I was admitted with a broken arm from when my mother-in-law shoved me out of the way because she wanted to be the first one to hold the baby after my wife. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce and walked out. This is two days after she informed me that she is unexpectedly pregnant. FML
Today, I found out that, after a year of separation, my ex-wife is pregnant and due in a few months. The divorce became official a few weeks ago and the father is my former best friend. FML
Today, my pregnant wife has been crying for hours after she found out that I’d slept with the woman who does her ultrasounds. That woman happened to have been my prom date nearly 20 years ago and I had no idea she moved back in town, let alone worked for our doctor. FML
Today, I got the official word my wife is pregnant. Her sister, who lives with us, is also pregnant. I'm stuck in an apartment with two women due in late 2012. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend is pregnant. The problem is that I don't know how to tell my wife... Who is also pregnant. FML
Today, my doctor told me I'm pregnant. Since we've been trying for several years, I called my husband to tell him the good news. Not long after, my doctor called to inform me there'd been a clerical mix-up and I'm not actually pregnant after all. FML
Today, I got a call from my husband, saying that he wants a divorce, he’s been seeing his colleague and that she’s more compatible to him. I’ve just given birth to out first child. He told me, "Aww, good luck with that." FML
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Top comments
InstaKarma 0
Really dude? Way to go on procrastinating the divorce. Procrastination is a lot like masturbation. It may feel good at the time, but in the end you will have just ****** yourself. YDI for procrastinating AND getting another woman pregnant while you're at it. Moron.
lilgazelleX 0
you really thought it was a good idea to get another woman prefers while still legally married? seriously?!
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Comments (72)
Hoogyme 0
Just divorce her
MacOSXpert 7
YDI for not divorcing her. You *****.
wheatie 0
REPEAT!!
InstaKarma 0
Really dude? Way to go on procrastinating the divorce. Procrastination is a lot like masturbation. It may feel good at the time, but in the end you will have just ****** yourself. YDI for procrastinating AND getting another woman pregnant while you're at it. Moron.
quiter 0
wear a rubber
sum1two 0
I totally agree.
akg98 13
Som ppls religion keeps them frm divorce...i think it counts as adultery
xNephilim 19
Some people can't afford a divorce. I don't know how divorces are anywhere in the world but in Germany and there they are expensive. My mom and dad split up a couple years ago but never divorced because it costs too much.
billionair11 20
Maybe OP is trying to divorce his (hopefully now ex) wife. Thus he is still legally married to her.
lilgazelleX 0
you really thought it was a good idea to get another woman prefers while still legally married? seriously?!
doubleddun 9
A lot of pregnancy happen by accident
dman4412 0
wow you're sick. and so is your wife. way to **** up guy
MrCoolPants 7
u look like Justin bieber just kidding
amandapandajones 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
your a babe (;
megstiel 16
You're*
JERKKMONKEY 0
FHL.
totaljudgment 0
I sure hope John G doesn't live in Texas - state statute says you're married, kid's assumed to be yours. John G may be in for a child support surprise depending on where he lives.
marc_with_a_c 3
says he's from Canada, so he should be fine.. but he still is an idiot for not divorcing first, seriously
420Nig169Nig420 12
only have to pay child support if it came from your sperm
Circled 0
Is your wife's baby yours? I couldn't tell from the wording.. If you got them both pregnant..YDI =
deepbluesea 1
It's time to book a guest spot on "Maury."
xXCherrryBombXx 6
haha my thoughts exactly... "in the case of one month old Jacob, John, you are not the father."
jif_fml 0
paternity test.
djb1034 0
divorce her, get a paternity test, problem solved. unless you are the father in which case fyl.