Today, I hooked up with a girl from the bar. We went back to my place and started making out, I took off her shirt and bra and started kissing her breasts. I felt her chest hair tickle my tongue. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met a girl at a bar, we had a few drinks and really hit it off. We headed back to my place to get a little action. As she was riding me, she got rougher and rougher until she reached down and yanked a patch of hair right out of my beard. I yelped in pain and didn’t even finish. FML
Today, after months of Tinder-ing, first dates and being rejected, I finally was able to hook up with a girl. We met, we kissed, we danced and I took her back to my place. She then promptly tried to make out with my roommate. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML
Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, I started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection, all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML
Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone" in a seductive tone. FML
Today, I was going to hook up with a new girl. She told me not to shower or wear deodorant when I came over, which I thought was a little odd but went along with. As we were getting warmed up, she started licking my sweaty armpit and moaning loudly. This is probably too weird to tolerate. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML
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Top comments
kellster 2
Either she was a tranny, or you're really exaggerating. You do know that people have body hair, right? As in, the tiny, fuzzy kind? You'd probably better get over that pretty soon or you'll never have sex again.
icanhazlizard 0
I agree with 3 and 6. Hair is a natural part of being human. The girls are already expected to shave way more of their bodies than men have to be socially acceptable. I'm sick of hearing about how the hair on girls is disgusting. We shouldn't be rejected or made to go through ridiculously elaborate and time-consuming grooming routines because of it. It's *natural*. Get the **** over it.
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Comments (325)
hamzy 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Oooh shiz.. better check for adamsapple!
GVirdi 11
Question is Did he like it?
gaby904 0
HA thats disturbingly gross.. but still funny
parduezs 6
As my dad used to say "Sure you don't want any beer? Put some hair on your chest" Now I believe him
kellster 2
Either she was a tranny, or you're really exaggerating. You do know that people have body hair, right? As in, the tiny, fuzzy kind? You'd probably better get over that pretty soon or you'll never have sex again.
DustyStorm 16
actually I had a female roommate that had chest hair....manly chest hair. not a tranny either. very much a woman with a nice rack and wirey man like chest hair.....
DustyStorm 16
My female roommate had chest hair....and I know the difference between chest hair and fuzz. Please. My roommate also had a mustache and almost complete unibrow. Sometimes I would catch myself staring. Her chest hair was wirey and black....much like pubic hairs, sprouting from in between her breasts out of her tank top.
daytoday21 10
"tranny" is a slur- wanted to point that out cause some people don't know it's offensive. Carry on.
Catto-Golden 23
Thank you Day, I was gonna say that
blackdog_fml 0
hahahahaha ewwww
lovely997 0
thats what you get for acting like a horny animal YDi
dzizzle 0
Humans are mammals. Mammals are covered with hair.
eaterofpies 0
I thought u were gunna say humans are mammals and mammals suckle
genius_man16 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
GROSS I hate chicks with boob hair. At least when they try and shave it and then it gets all stubbly and pokey. Bleh. Sucks for you m8, FYL indeed
tylercarolinex 21
Well you can't win then? If you don't like it not shaved, and like JUST after shaving then ypu'll just have to deal with it. Also, inconsiderate asses like you will find it hard to get a girl that will shave for you just because you 'don't like it'.
LiliK_fml 21
Grow up. Everyone is covered in body hair. Learn to deal with it or just become completely celibate because women being covered in hair is never going to change.
HerWrongHole247 18
Evolution boi
Fredzter 0
Tasty (:
Adriennerox211 0
#8 you scare me :( I have some boob hair, but they are like little blonde hairs that you can't notice ^-^
hahayou12345 0
You are exaggerating.
icanhazlizard 0
I agree with 3 and 6. Hair is a natural part of being human. The girls are already expected to shave way more of their bodies than men have to be socially acceptable. I'm sick of hearing about how the hair on girls is disgusting. We shouldn't be rejected or made to go through ridiculously elaborate and time-consuming grooming routines because of it. It's *natural*. Get the **** over it.
dan11 0
that doesnt mean he has to find it attractive. he felt a hair in his mouth and he didnt like it. its not like he forced her to shave it. dont freak out
ZleveL 0
hairy girls=*shivers* hairy men=OOOH SHIZZLES there's a chick in my science class who has more chest hair than my ****** dad! that's LOTS of hair. unfortunately all 1500 girls at my school can't shave for shit so it's like going to school with frickin manbeast gorrila things. now I gave up one treating them like females an I just call them mister and shit My point being: Hairy Girls is NO GOOD
LOL97_fml 0
uhhh just so yah know, when yah shave the hair just growss back faster n thicker so when u wamt a gurl to shave her body hair shes gunna hav ta do it evry day ans that aint fair
ZleveL 0
thanks i didn't realize that well they should wax or something
The_Big_Mac 7
that's an old wives tell. it's not true.
Robby41169 0
whens the last time you got laid? yeah.
motien 2
men shave their face everyday