Today, I received a package from my deployed husband. It contained a scarf, a letter, and a bag full of his pubes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I opened some small cute birthday gifts at my boyfriend's house. As we left to go out, he slipped me a Tiffany box and said he wanted me to open it in private. Flushed and excited, I open it to find a Ziploc bag filled with hair. It was thd mustache I'd been begging him to shave for months. FML
Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache. FML
Today, after 4 months of no family contact while deployed in the military, I receive an email from my mother. Attached was a picture of a toilet full of green shit, with a message from my mom saying, "Seen neon poo before? Thought I would share!" FML
Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML
Today, I received from my husband for Christmas the body lotion that only he uses. And nothing else. FML
Today, I was about to go and take a shower when I saw a pair of scissors taped to the door at eye level with a note from my boyfriend saying "Time to trim that hairy thang down under." FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML
Today, I got a package in the mail from my girlfriend. I was really excited until I realized that it was just a box full things that I gave to her. FML
Today, I was looking for a moustache comb, couldn't find it anywhere. Then I noticed it in a basket by the toilet with scissors. My wife's been using it to trim her pubes. FML
Today, my husband returned from being away for two weeks. I eagerly got myself ready and sent him a risqué picture so he would come to bed. An hour later, he's on the couch playing Xbox with the message already seen. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Now you need to put his pubes in a locket so you can wear them around your neck and remember him forever. It's the ultimate romantic gesture.
kimg0885 23
Make a scarf out of the pubes and send it back to him for Christmas!
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Comments (92)
Welshite 40
Now you need to put his pubes in a locket so you can wear them around your neck and remember him forever. It's the ultimate romantic gesture.
UnidentifiedFun 37
Well he's not dead. I'm sure she can be reminded of him some other way than by pubes.
ThatFancyPenn 18
Don't question it, #6. There is no better way.
Welshite 40
Be grateful, #6. I could have started my hair sample collection like Dexter. The screams are annoying enough as it is, but disposing of a body is messy and I'm too lazy for that.
devildog562 33
Seems like a simple task for you welshite . I guess the acid and chemicals will ruin the bathtub though.... Pubes it is.
AHzulu 25
He went full Hooah.
raenoleah 12
#10 - so the acid and chemicals ruin the tub, but having a decomposing dead body in it is fine?
incoherentrmblr 22
Time for Pube salad...
Vanubo 10
It's the thought that counts right?
nevm 12
Nah it's the pubic hair that counts
ninety 25
With a bag full, that's a lot of counting!
Classy_Sassy_15 15
Everyone shows love differently.
royal_ranger 12
Not sure if hot dogs or legs...
IamHercules 24
It's hot dog legs
nevm 12
Lets please start this up again
billyboef 10
that's nasty and weird. Why would he do that?!
Saraj07 18
Why is this comment getting down voted? Is it frowned upon on FML to state the obvious? Not every comment needs be witty or sarcastic...
Acers1 13
No its just not what people want to hear so they down vote it
cdawg69 10
Because going to combat makes you do silly things for the hell of it to find amusement and enjoyment
ninety 25
Although OPs hubby may be in combat himself, not everybody that deploys goes through combat. True story.
kimg0885 23
Make a scarf out of the pubes and send it back to him for Christmas!
False_Stupidity 42
That would have to be one hell of a lot of pubes.. or one really tiny scarf.
orbit 22
Maybe the pubes just fell off the scarf he made. Is it itchy?
kerstileann 26
yes they fell off into a bag, sealed the back and then snuck into the package...yup totally reasonable.
orbit 22
Jeez so critical. I don't think it's even possible to create a scarf out of pubes, so why even try to disprove my comment?
laden_swallow09 35
Because it was just plain silly. Not even funny, just silly.
TheOnlyMizLiv 22
Don't feel bad Orbit, you basically posted the exact same thing as people under you who *strangely* got up-voted... so just take credit for those! Haters man, chin up!
Dinonick 15
Based on the other two gifts I REALLY want to know what that letter said.
ThunderTheRad 14
I wouldn't wear that scarf if I were you.
thief1434 23
Was the scarf made of pubes?
quickit 24
That's so cute!