Today, my dumbass cat sat on a lit candle. The whole house now smells like burnt hair and I now have to clip clumps of wax-burnt hair off his bum. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML
Today, my cat did the same thing as in the video where a cat lights its tail on fire with a candle and just watches it nonchalantly until it stops burning… Except, instead of watching nonchalantly, he bolted all over the house while screaming his head off. Trying to extinguish him was a nightmare. FML
Today, my cat is extremely sick and has trouble grooming himself. As evidenced by his butt. He laid on me for a while and it wasn't until a few minutes after he got off that I realized he had stained my pants. That also explains why my chair suddenly looks so nasty, and why my room smells horrible. FML
Today, my cat regurgitated his food right on top of a heating vent located on my floor. Now the whole house smells like hot vomit. FML
Today, I tried to wax my own Brazilian. My housemate’s cat rolled onto a half-used wax strip on the floor. The poor cat now has a small, less-fluffy patch, and I still haven’t figured out how to wax myself. FML
Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML
Today, I tried to give my cat a bath after he got into the attic and got covered in all sorts of shit. Halfway through, he freaked out, jumped out of the tub, and ran around the house dripping wet. He then hid under my bed, and I had to practically dismantle it to get him out. Now my bedroom smells like wet fur and broken trust. FML
Today, while moving my wax burner away from the window, I spilled hot wax all over my hands, the wall, and in my electric fireplace. FML
Today, my cat peed on my stove. There’s multiple clean litter-boxes that he could have used instead. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, and I had to save him. I now have a soggy cat and scratched arms. FML
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Top comments
cacheson 42
The cat's ass does seem to have been very dumb for sitting on the candle. Alternatively, you might feel sympathy for the cat's ass if it wasn't the ass's fault and it was just along for the dumb cat's ride...
vb68 26
Mostly a double FML for your cat to have burnt his ass and to have an owner with little sympathy
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Comments (30)
cootiequeen4444 11
I bet Og and Thog, the first people to begin domesticating animals would have never seen this coming. Fire was a... a.. well a sure fire way to spook the shit outta animals. Even now it /should/ be terrifying, really. In short, yeah, yer cat is a total dumbass. Did you get some ridiculously inbred (and overpriced) purebred kitty or something?
Arashikage 18
What are you going on about?
cacheson 42
The cat's ass does seem to have been very dumb for sitting on the candle. Alternatively, you might feel sympathy for the cat's ass if it wasn't the ass's fault and it was just along for the dumb cat's ride...
tanishagates 1
LOL! Classic.
jcash52426 5
Maybe the cat was trying to make a flame fart.
Cali 57
A truly noble effort.
MiraRose 20
Well, he does have A LOT of gas.
MiraRose 20
Well, he does have A LOT of gas.
vb68 26
Mostly a double FML for your cat to have burnt his ass and to have an owner with little sympathy
MiraRose 20
Oh believe me, I had sympathy, until I realized he wasn't hurt, just a tad singed. He's a long haired kitty.
MiraRose 20
Oh believe me, I had sympathy, until I realized he wasn't hurt, just a tad singed. He's a long haired kitty.
alvarny 17
wax and pussy... kinky much?
worldclassrager 41
Cats usually plot their owners death...perhaps it figured to burn the house down with you in it...
DraconicFeline 31
Ugh, this comment section is pitiful. Where's Tripartita?
GRO907 0
that's what you get for having a cat
Phxlife602 9
Well i guess it's true cats got 9 lives
ShotaSammy 17
Why would you think it was a good idea to leave a cat with a lit candle? You know, the animals KNOWN for knocking things over? something bad was bound to happen.