Today, I masturbated so hard I got a cramp in my forearm muscle so unexpectedly that my hand spasmed, slipped off my penis, and I punched myself in the face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
Today, my hand fell asleep while I was masturbating. My own body rejected me. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML
Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML
Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML
Today, my clumsiness reached a whole level when I hit myself in the face with a hammer hard enough for blood to come out. FML
Today, I sprained an arm muscle while pretending to lift weights. FML
Today, I got a hand cramp from popping zits on my face. FML
Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML
Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
How close is your face to your dick when you're jerking off? And why?
mike3775 39
I guess you won’t be lying down to pleasure yourself anymore
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
How close is your face to your dick when you're jerking off? And why?
mike3775 39
I guess you won’t be lying down to pleasure yourself anymore