Today, I had a horrible headache on my way home from lunch. I pulled over and vomited so forcefully I peed my pants, a lot. I had pee in my shoes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was constipated and strained so hard that I threw up into my pants and all over my shoes. I was at work, and no, I didn’t have a change of clothes. FML
Today, while at my dorm, I experienced a vomit-inducing migraine. In my hurry to get to the bathroom to puke, I couldn't find a pair of shoes. I urgently needed the toilet, so I braved the communal bathroom barefoot. As I opened the stall door, I stepped in someone else's fresh vomit. FML
Today, while driving my son and his friend home, I was so frantic to pee, I was bouncing up and down in my seat. I stopped and ran into a store but it was too late. There was a line and I made it 11 seconds. I was radiating heat from the humiliation of walking past dozens of people after peeing my pants. I even apologized. FML
Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML
Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ojosRojos 28
At least it wasn’t poo? Hopefully you were alone? I don’t know, the silver linings are few and far between for this one. Hope you feel better, OP!
Shabnam Moghal 14
At least you were on your way home.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (13)
ojosRojos 28
At least it wasn’t poo? Hopefully you were alone? I don’t know, the silver linings are few and far between for this one. Hope you feel better, OP!
Shabnam Moghal 14
At least you were on your way home.
Deez_Knots 10
So somethings clearly wrong with you. I’d go get a CT or something
teaspoon04 15
I’m sorry, OP. I know how it feels to piss yourself because of migraine. Fortunately I was at home, and the bathroom floor wasn’t hard to clean. Feel better soon!
TumblrweedPasses 11
Well, at least all this took place outside of the car, right
bl3ur0z3 17
I was sick at work and coughed so hard I was vomiting and peeing. In a mesh chair with light colored pants. What I'm saying is, I feel ya.
alycion 39
And I thought I had it bad cracking a rib one day and pulling a muscle in my chest another from puking.
MamaChey 24
Been there. Done that — more times than I can count!
blahblabbity 19
seems like your migraine put you in a pissy mood
Paul B. Gyurcsanszky 14
I hope you drove straight home after that.