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The party wasn't at my girlfriends house, no.. Can't imagine why people think he would be pissed, it's just incredibly funny, and something we could laugh about for years. This is actually my first time posting anything here, the first time I've ever read comments, and I have to say I'm quite shocked how many people who misundertands this website. Like people who thinks you post things like this to get sympathy, or this ongoing debate on my alcohol consumption. I can't actually believe that there is people in this world who doesn't have more important things to do. Why isn't FML filled with "Today, I didn't have anything else to do than post negative comments on FML. FML." I feel a burden has been lifted off my shoulders, people! I felt a bit stupid for what I've done, but now I know I have a long way to go to beat some of you. And yes, I look good naked. Unfortunatly I was wearing socks that made me look rather fat.

Absolute beginner

By scardeycat13 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went snowboarding for the first time. I was so scared that I passed out. I was only on the kiddie hill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 504

You deserved it 10 917

By Female - 12/02/2010 03:32 - United States

Today, I went to a conference for work. When I got there I sat beside a woman about my age. She immediately got up and moved to the opposite side of the room. We were the only two there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 675

You deserved it 6 234

Childish but effective

By unhappy wifey - 28/09/2012 06:09 - United States - Portland

Today, my husband and I are still having a dumb fight over remodeling. He's decided to take an immature route and pretends to be asleep whenever I walk into a room so he doesn't have to talk about it. Earlier, he pretended to fall asleep at the dinner table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 460

You deserved it 4 031

By Pissed - 21/09/2012 23:20 - United States - Newton Center

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. My dad noticed my depression and got me to tell him what was wrong. I told him everything, and trusting him to have an intelligent suggestion, I asked him what I should do. He shrugged and said, "Fuck, sue him, I dunno." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 591

You deserved it 2 896

By Anonymous - 26/09/2010 04:59 - United States

Today, at work, an old lady came through my line to buy some groceries. She told me she lost her purse and was a little short. It was busy, so I pulled out my little purse and gave her the money she needed. A few minutes later she returned with my boss, insisting that my purse was hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 818

You deserved it 3 278

By Anonymous - 19/08/2010 06:32 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend of a year exclaimed "Oh my god!" for the first time during sex. Nope, I haven't improved in bed, I recently moved a TV into my room and something exciting happened on the show she was watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 514

You deserved it 13 752

By loser - 10/10/2009 20:45 - France

Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done, I went to zip up, then realized I'd never unzipped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 607

You deserved it 61 330

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 28/03/2009 19:42 - United States

Today, I came home a few days early from a 3-month business trip. As I opened my apartment door, hoping to surprise my girlfriend, the man she's apparently been cheating on me with promptly punched me in the face. He thought I was a burglar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 683

You deserved it 5 375

By simonjudy - 14/05/2011 20:09 - United Kingdom

Today, my sister and I both got "good luck" cards from our aunt, wishing us well on our exams. My sister's said, "We know you will do well." Mine said, "We will love you no matter what happens." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 181

You deserved it 5 097

By legallyblondemad - 29/08/2009 19:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the park with my new boyfriend. We were sitting between some trees when some of his mates turned up in the park. He pushed me behind a tree so his mates wouldn't see and went to join them in a game of football. He pretended not to know me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 988

You deserved it 5 298

Don't take medical advice from teachers

By pain - 20/05/2016 04:23 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I got a splinter in my shop class. The teacher dug at it with tweezers for a while, then told me that my best bet would be to wait until the wound got infected and formed a bunch of pus around the splinter to force it out. It's in my dominant hand's palm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 933

You deserved it 1 121

By Anonymous - 17/12/2013 21:57 - Egypt

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 179

You deserved it 7 790

Heatwave

By PeepShow - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 492

You deserved it 47 363

By kansah - 06/10/2011 10:11 - Australia

Today, I came home from school and found my mother singing along to her latest investment, a compilation CD filled with heavy metal covers of ABBA classics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 009

You deserved it 3 690

kansah tells us more.

kansah 25

Wednesday 12 October 2011 12:52

I am just going to make it clear, if the covers were decent I would be able to tolerate them and give my mum credit for having such excellent taste in music, however the covers are utterly horrible.

By girlwithaprob - 13/11/2010 21:45 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I was the only girl he'd ever text, call, or flirt with again. Later on he told two other girls exactly the same thing on Facebook, not realizing that everybody can read wall messages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 858

You deserved it 3 750