Today, my mom was helping me clean out stuff from college. She opened a box and took out some anal beads I got as a gag gift. She asked, "What are these?" I answered, "They are for massaging your back". She then insisted I show her. I massaged my mother with anal beads. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mum came over and helped me sort out my spare room. It was great, we found so many things I'd forgotten I had! Including anal beads. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, my mom left for a bachelorette party. She forgot a gift, so she called me and made me go into her closet, pick out a sex toy from the "box of gag gifts", and bring it to her. Should I pick anal beads or a cock ring? FML
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Today, I was showing my mum how to use eBay. Unfortunately I didn't notice my recent purchase history was on display: a huge black dildo, a jockstrap, and a bong amongst them. Of course, she did. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, a few weeks after coming out to my parents, my mother randomly asked me, "Your father and I have tried anal sex a few times, but it hurts too much. D'you have any advice on what to do?" FML
Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML
Today, I received some unwanted anal sex tips. They were unwanted because I'm not into anal sex, and the tips came from my drunk mom. FML
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Top comments
Tehalon 0
Aslong as they were unused its not that bad ;P
Xyrian 0
This sounds suspiciously familiar to American Wedding, which also happened to be on television last night, go figure.
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Comments (96)
Tehalon 0
Aslong as they were unused its not that bad ;P
ninjawurl16 0
just imagine they were finished massagin and the mom noticed brown stains on her back hahahah!!!
bomdia 0
that is hilarious. At least they were a gag gift and not used! And at least your mom wasn't the type of person who knew what they were (not that there's anything wrong with that).
forallitsworth 0
Let's hope your mom doesn't go on fmylife.com ;)
Xyrian 0
This sounds suspiciously familiar to American Wedding, which also happened to be on television last night, go figure.
MCart_fml 0
Agreed with #1, otherwise buy your mom a new shirt for her next birthday
LittleMissMack 0
Why couldn't you just be honest with you mom? Especially if they were a gag gift. I would have asked her if she wanted them because you weren't going to use them.
sasquatchman12 0
That's stupid
boycrazy30007 12
Normal people wouldn't bring something like that into a conversation with their mom. It's disrespectful
thevelociraptor 31
No it's not disrespectful, the mother asked! If you have a good bond with your mom nothing should be considered inappropriate or stupid (minus insest). If this happened to me with my mom we would have busted a gut laughing after I explained. #6 has the right idea.
Ramb0 20
your family Is messed up
littlec_fml 0
that was ripped off from american wedding
Outkast 0
that was the most funniest thing i've ever heard that anyone used for an anl bead to massage your back did she like it i want to know just hope she don't find out:D:D:D:D
Lick_yer_face 0
Yeah... 'gag gift'. Whatever you say. :-P
alwaysalady 0
Anal beads? You mean beads that you....? They make stuff like that?
thewonkits 0
You need to watch more nighttime television. lol.
BeeHappy_fml 0
I love how your comment is #69. I lol'd.