Today, I invited a guy I've been crushing on for ages to my house, and I really wanted to make a good impression. We were sitting in the living room having drinks when my cat came in, dragging a pair of my dirty underwear and dropped them right in front of us. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I invited this guy I fooled around with over to "hang out". He's "en route", so I start to make my bed only to find my cat thought this was the best time to tell me she's sick by throwing up in my bed. I only have one set of linen. FML
Today, I was showing my new boyfriend around my apartment. Everything was going great until my cat decided to make his grand entrance by vomiting directly on the rug in front of him. My boyfriend paused, then said, “Well, at least he’s honest about his feelings.” FML
Today, I was having a romantic evening with my new boyfriend, until we walked into my bedroom and discovered that my cat had ripped apart my pads and had spread them all over the place. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was coming over for a surprise visit. I quickly tidied up, but not before shoving all my dirty laundry under the bed. When she arrived, she brought her dog in. Her dog immediately sniffed out the laundry and dragged my most embarrassing underwear into the living room while her parents watched. FML
Today, my roommate and I noticed a foul smell in our apartment. After looking around for a little while, I found that her cat had pooped on a pair of my jeans, and apparently tried to cover it up by dragging a shirt over the mess. FML
Today, the guy I'd been talking to online and liked came to my house party with a bunch of mutual friends. He spent the night sitting in the corner on the sofa talking to my cat. I woke up later to see that not only had he crashed for the night, but he'd curled up in the dog basket. FML
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
Today, I got home to find a pair of my dirty underwear (that were in the dirty clothes basket) in the middle of the living room. I must be delicious, because my dog was licking them. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Today, I invited an acquaintance over for tea. When he came in, I told him to make himself at home. He took it literally and now half of my pantry is messed up, my boyfriend's chocolate supply is gone, and I'm pretty sure our couch is broken. Thanks. FML
Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML
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Top comments
Queen_bee1234 21
Definitely not the pussy he wanted to see.
Clevelandians 17
Maybe it turned him on... I'm not are we went far enough into the story for this to be an FML. Unless you had poop stains. FYL if you had poop stains.
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Comments (96)
Clevelandians 17
Maybe it turned him on... I'm not are we went far enough into the story for this to be an FML. Unless you had poop stains. FYL if you had poop stains.
MrConcise 35
If you had poop stains, **** the cat's life.
Awesomeify 15
I don't understand why #1 is down voted.
Duladian 19
"I'm not are we went far" is not coherent. I understand he probably meant to say, " I'm not sure we went" which would make more sense. That is most likely the reason he is getting down voted.
Clevelandians 17
My phone autocorrected. I meant to say "I'm not sure..." Just like you pointed out. And not F the cats life if there were poop stains. That's definitely a YDI for the cat in that situation. ?
MrConcise 35
*cat drags out poopy panties* "Please make her clean them up! She leaves them everywhere. My nose feels like a wind tunnel of fire! Save meeeeeee...ow!" OP and date hear: Meowmeowmeow. Definitely **** the cat's life.
toaster87 19
That's a complete ydi if you have poop stains on your under, learn proper hygiene!
moonchic 16
#37 thank you, I was pretty confused on what he was saying.
Queen_bee1234 21
Definitely not the pussy he wanted to see.
jake_braves 25
Perhaps the cat was implying that the guy wanted to see pussy..it did bring in undies lol. Pussy monster.
abhi95 31
Umm! That could speed things up a bit!
EverettA 16
That's a shitty situation. Ha ha... No? ok....
Rainbow2Cloud 12
Way overused joke.
nickaa827 13
just don't
StarDust5921 16
how original..
IamHM 14
I'm the OP, and I thought this was funny.
Rainbow2Cloud 12
Cats can be evil sometimes.
CrAzYELF4 26
Sometimes?
Rainbow2Cloud 12
You know how cats always get in boxes? How they always get in front of you and almost trip you? I swear they are planning to use boxes and tripping you to dominate the world. :o but I still love my Miss Kitty lol
DarksideDoll 31
Cats are evil 110% of the time. Even if they're doing something cute, there's always an ulterior motive..
LaColombianita 26
That's not so bad lol I think it's cute & funny. And he probably didn't even know they were dirty just by looking at it.
Dillyduzit 23
My thoughts exactly! Unless OP is super unhygienic, dirty undies don't really look dirty. The person who wore them just knows they are.
Duladian 19
If you put used underwear in your mouth. I'm sure you'd taste and/or smell the difference from a clear pair.
Dillyduzit 23
Yes but who is putting dirty underwear in their mouth? Just the cat, according to the information provided.
Morning_fml 22
Best wingman ever. Or not..? Hopefully both of you were able to have a good laugh and ended up hitting it off really well from that.
jmoul18 12
If nothing else, it's something to laugh at.
purpleturtle16 20
Maybe it helped speed things up a bit??
xxlinneamxx 17
Hey you can have a laugh about it. Might be a good ice breaker