Today, I found out that the neighbor I'd given a bottle of wine to for Christmas is a recovering alcoholic. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML
Today, my mother-in-law gave me a bottle of champagne for my birthday. This is the third year in a row she has done this. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and she's well aware of that fact. FML
Today, I won a lottery at my local grocery store. Excited, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of red wine. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML
Today, my roommate gave me a self-help book on alcoholism for my birthday. He's an alcoholic. I gave him that book around 8 months ago. FML
Today, I'm a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. On new years, my mom called and asked what kind of champagne I want. FML
Can't stop, won't stop
Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML
Today, I learned that drunk me from last night is apparently great at flirting. She also apparently flirted her way to a free bottle of white wine, only to shatter it on the kitchen floor at 2 a.m. How did I find out? Three words: glass in foot. FML
Today, I noticed that my 80-year-old mother has gone through 50+ bottles of my home-made wine. She only moved in with me a month ago. And now I have no wine. FML
Today, I found out I was an alcoholic. Not from my friends or family, but because the ice-maker couldn't keep up with the amount of drinks I've been making. FML
Today, I found out that just because my roommate doesn't buy alcohol, it doesn't mean she isn't stealing mine and slowly replacing it with water. That bottle cost me $150 and was destined to be a present for my best friend, whom I haven't seen in years. FML
Top comments
Kypopz 9
The guy's like, "Eh, one sip wouldn't hurt".
Rinat_fml 26
Im a muslim too. I dont think its awkward. Youre awkward.
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Comments (96)
Kypopz 9
The guy's like, "Eh, one sip wouldn't hurt".
doctorwhogirl 0
and now you will forever be blamed for the return of his alcoholism by his family.
SecretMe00 5
Well they could always just use it for decoration..
GoW_Chick 15
But it's just so tempting just sitting there can't you hear it calling "drink me, DRINK ME!"
Evan2297 0
I think it would be more appropriate to say 'was', after you gave them the bottle of wine.
margie2194 12
You might get billed for his AA sessions.
thefaced 0
Haha,do you know how tempting that would be?
BarDownDaily 12
No thefaced, how tempting?
The_Plagiarizer 4
Kypopz can have as many sips as she wants. *Do the creep aaaaahhhh*
Captain_Zorro 7
Woot 5000
GovernorGeneral 8
Don't worry OP. his mom drank all the wine. So you're still good ;) ( refer to one of the previous fmls about his his mom all the expensive wine he got....) ^^
GovernorGeneral 8
...How his mom drank all the...** sorry dunno what couldve happened to make that typo so stupid -.-"
murdarah 0
I'm a Muslim do you know how awkward it is when people give ME wine as a gift?
EvilPotato 15
How awkward?
SkoomaKi 28
What?! Muslims can't drink wine? Haha xD
Rinat_fml 26
Im a muslim too. I dont think its awkward. Youre awkward.
StoryOfTheYear 15
I'm going to have to phone a friend on this one.
reapy 14
how awkward, exactly, is it to say "that's very kind of you, but I don't drink"?
doctorwhogirl 0
I'm Muslim to "does secret cool Muslim handshake" but yeah you just sort of say thanks but I don't drink and then they try ask you questions about why you can't which make you launch into a lengthy conversation about your religion( I tend to slip in some stupid stuff like how when we all pray together we can control the weather) it's so much fun and they believe it for a while anyway.
StoryOfTheYear 15
I can move mountains. Changing the weather is for schnopps. 'o' #goestohell
beccusmaximus 0
And that's why there is such a thing as "regifting." Don't feel bad OP, that is kind of personal information, so how were you supposed to know?
butterz1839 3
29 this isn't ******* twitter.
eyeIoveyou 4
45 - #umadbro?
murdersquirrel 15
You don't need to discuss your religious beliefs. You can say 'I don't drink' and leave it at that. There are so many reasons to not drink, and it's a personal decision.
Jaxx66 21
2- since when cant Muslims drink wine?? My friend can drink wine. It's true they don't break open a bottle for Ramadan (sp?) but they still drink it.
likasumboooodi 0
Muslims cant drink wine???
magic99 3
Very devout muslims don't drink, but they can just regift. A recovering alcoholic getting wine is much worse because they were once addicted and will have more trouble controlling the urge than a Muslim/ non-drinker.
callofdutyking 3
Way to make it about yourself murdarah
FMLitUP69 0
Probably not as awkward as being on a plane with a bunch of white people. Too much?
VertigoF8 2
You might be a Muslim, but you obviously don't read the Qur'an. "And do not give the weak-minded your property, which Allah has made a means of sustenance for you, but provide for them the unacceptable gifts given to you from others as a means to feed, clothe, and quench their thirst." An-Nisa (4:4) Basically, Allah invented regifting. Hint hint.
detroitsucks247 3
Its scary that The muslims screen name is MURDURah...
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
56- It's forbidden in Islam, but some still do.
GlitteryMasakali 1
alcohol robs your senses
ICATiger 13
Well that be a great story he can tell his AA
fancyclown 9
Could've been worse. Vodka, anyone?
FYLDeep 26
Yes, please.
Rinat_fml 26
Alkohol is still alkohol, whether its wine or vodka... You didn't know though op so you shouldn't really think too much about it.
StoryOfTheYear 15
^lol "Alkohol"
mirag 0
It's not that funny, in some languages its alkohol.
xStaciexLynnx 15
But he happens to be speaking English right now so it's 'alcohol'.
Enslaved 38
Yes, but vodka bottles are twist tops where most wine bottles need a cork screw. Hopefully the neighbor didn't have one and fell off the wagon. You didn't know, OP. Wine is a great gift to anyone else. I received a few great ones myself this holiday. (: Hob Nob my fav.
StoryOfTheYear 15
This is one of those instances where the gift is rewrapped and gifted right back on OP's birthday or something.
ChrisTheCalm 9
Hell yeah!!
StoryOfTheYear 15
Lol your comment and your profile has confirmed my theory that black people are naturally awesome.
DCFan 9
Big deal. It was the thought that counts.. I wouldn't worry, I'm sure they didn't think anything of it
poopmonster05 3
Your intentions weren't bad.
BIGBOY4rmAHM 19
Neighbors thoughts "what a prick"
IKickPuppiesHard 16
Well now you have an excuse to bond with the neighbor by finding out where s/he'd like to go for AA and rehab.
imp4ct 15
Well better than a bottle of vodka, right?
DCFan 9
... How exactly?
MissMae93 23
7 comments too late. Scroll up a little..