Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a funny prank to put duct tape on my eyes while I was sleeping so that when I woke up, I would be blind. I have no more eyelashes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML
Today, while getting ready for a friend's wedding, I was curling my eyelashes. My cat decided to jump onto the towel rod. As I went to catch her, I ripped all the eyelashes out of one eye. I called my boyfriend crying. When he saw me, he laughed and said, "You look really surprised in that eye." FML
Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML
Today, I found out that if you cry yourself sleep and forget to take off your mascara, your top and bottom lashes will stick together. Leaving you unable to open your eyes. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be hilarious if she pulled a prank on me, so she did the classic "bucket of water on a door" one. I ended up getting stitches and a concussion on my birthday. FML
Today, I woke up from a short nap, only to find two waxing strips stuck to my eyebrows. I now have very little of my eyebrows remaining, and just as little idea which idiot in my family pulled this stupid excuse of a prank. FML
Today, as part of our prank war, my girlfriend found a hairy tarantula picture and stuck it on the wall. I hadn't yet told her I'm arachnophobic, and when I saw it I passed out and hit my head hard enough to need an ambulance. She decided she's won the war and I don't get a say in the matter. FML
Today, my girlfriend slapped a waxing strip on my beard because she is sick of quarantine and wanted to lash out at someone. FML
Today, I wanted to prank my girlfriend by giving her a jump scare. Right before I tried to scare her in an empty parking lot, she turned towards me, pepper-sprayed me in the eyes and kicked me in the balls. When she realized it was me, she called me an asshole and dumped on the spot and drove away. FML
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Top comments
Tequilamockngbrd 7
Whenever an FML starts out with "My boyfriend/girlfriend/etc. thought..." you know it's going to end up being horrible. Now all kinds of dust and stuff will get into your eyes. ]: If you're feeling mean, you can do the same thing to your girlfriend. If you're feeling less mean, you can make her buy you fancy fake eyelashes (ooh, maybe with rhinestones!) until yours grow back.
lizzzie_fml 0
You've got a winner there !
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Comments (96)
lizzzie_fml 0
You've got a winner there !
kmi123pink 0
ROOLF. blonde?
neonokku 0
break tu with her cuz thags jsyut sutpid
Les_Paul_Player 0
whatd ya wish for???
justdance93 0
She sure sounds like a keeper.
Tequilamockngbrd 7
Whenever an FML starts out with "My boyfriend/girlfriend/etc. thought..." you know it's going to end up being horrible. Now all kinds of dust and stuff will get into your eyes. ]: If you're feeling mean, you can do the same thing to your girlfriend. If you're feeling less mean, you can make her buy you fancy fake eyelashes (ooh, maybe with rhinestones!) until yours grow back.
jchansfan 0
Yeah, but hers was an accident/lapse of judgement, purposely doing the same to her'd be a lot worse! That's terrible advice! So what do you do if someone accidentally bumps into you and knocks you over!?! Follow them around waiting for the perfect chance to strike and take your revenge!?! D: lol I hope not...
Tequilamockngbrd 7
FYL for thinking that I was serious. I know that you can't hear sarcasm over the Internet, but come on. And if someone accidentally bumped into me, I wouldn't want to take revenge. That person didn't stand there and think, "Oh, it'll be funny if I bump into Tequilamockngbrd and knock her over! This will be the best prank ever, tee-hee!" If they DID think that, though, yeah, I'd probably bump them back a bit. :] Also, how did my comment get called out when Mercy's "advice" is right under mine? So unfair.
jchansfan 0
Haha to be clear, I just attacked your advice beacuse I thought it was funny just picturing someone actually doing what i suggested in my comment. Attacking someone for bumping them. not beacuse i actually took you seriously. As for Mercy, hers wasn't up when I started writing... Plus I know not to mess with Mercy... o_O lol :P
Tequilamockngbrd 7
Ohh. Well, don't I sound like a hypocrite now. xD
asafetybuzz 0
i'm pretty sure eyelashes never grow back. i mean, correct me if i'm wrong. but when i was younger, i had really thick eyelashes. when i started wearing makeup, i used mascara like nobody's business and lost some of my eyelashes because of it. i mean, i still have eyelashes, but they're not as thick as they used to be. and my cousin lost his eyelashes for some reason when he was young and now he has no eyelashes at all! OP: fyl indeed. people look funny with no eyelashes. :(
Tequilamockngbrd 7
You know, I wasn't totally sure about that either. I'm pretty sure they grow back. You lose and re-grow eyelashes all the time. I'm not sure if they grow back nicely when they're all ripped out at once though, so OP miiight be out of luck, or he might be fine. Your guess is as good as mine.
iamafish 0
#18: by your logic, hair doesn't grow back either. i'm pretty sure hair never grows back then since most people start out with a decent amount of hair, but when they get older eventually they have almost no hair left. To prove it: I know someone who lost their hair for some reason and now they have no hair at all! Oh wait, maybe hair does grow back, but some people just lose it at a higher rate than the rate at which it grows back... hm...
Amkii 0
#7 - ....she purposely did it to him first, though. He'd be doing to her exactly what she did to him!
irishdancer 0
Eyelashes do grow back. My sister's friend's mom was using an eyelash curler and rested her elbow on a table and it slipped and her eyelashes came out, but they grew back.
quarty165 0
#18, eyelashes do grow back. I was curious about it once so I looked it up. There's a certain disease you can have where they won't grow back, but otherwise they will. now, they might not be as long... and #31 didn't have to be such a jerk about it.
34dah00d 0
ummm yeah .......welll unles they say srry but if they dnt u have the right to ur revenge but i hope ur grlfrend said srry or its time to break up!
Kgirl2cute 6
idiot, I don't have eyelashes, and I'm not going to go into details, but they DO grow back. duh. they're just like hair.. and fingernails.. and toenails.. they're infinite. But you know how waxing lasts longer than shaving because you rip the actual roots out? that's the problem. they'll take longer to grow back if pulled out.
KingHumanity 0
Fake. Pulling duct tape from your eyelids is nowhere near the same as from your arms. Serious damage would be done. The eyes are the most delicate organs in the body. Any human being with IQ more than that of a rat knows better.
xoxo_bethany_xox 6
don't be such a kill joy
Blade52560 6
Last I checked eyelids are not made of paper and would not tear from a piece of duct tape.
Moy_fml 6
Do a "Picture of my eyes every day for 2 weeks" so we can see them grow back.
dacho 7
She was wrong. It's not funny, it's HYSTERICAL.
ndbmjmmmc 1
they take a month or two to grow back ! worth braving it with fake ones you think ? :P
jchansfan 0
I just realized I'm listening to BLINK 182 while reading a story about EYE LASHES... AWESOME.
neverbr 0
LOL She's a keeper.
aback 5
Slap some duct tape on her pubes, and quit picking your girlfriends from the short bus.
perdix 31
That's called a Brazilian.
FarSide 23
,,but the ones from the Short Bus (and any New Jersey girls on a regular bus) probably won't/can't tell on ya....