Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to perform a strip tease for me. As he was stripping out of his clothes, he took his shirt and then pants off first. He was wearing zebra striped knee high socks and underwear. I burst out laughing. He left. FML
Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML
Today, I was doing a striptease for this guy over my webcam. I was shaking my ass while taking off my panties, but when they fell to my feet, I tripped over them and fell on my ass. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML
Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML
Today, I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by making love to my husband in a tight leather corset. I ended up passing out. FML
Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML
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Top comments
amayasoma 19
Well now I know what not to for my boyfriend. Kiss his groin better.
mpclaw 3
hey honey. it's the though that counts. a zillion guys would trade anyway,
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Comments (97)
vballchick101 0
That sucks.
sxe1215 0
2nd
ididntmeanit111 0
why would anyone say ydi? retards
KingDingALing 9
Let your boyfriend uppercuNt you. :p
boatingboy1011 0
im pretty sure no one said ydi
Cinn_fml 23
If you look, at least 40 people have voted YDI.
Bartimaeus 7
That's because she did deserve it. She must have the motor skills of a four year old and the sexual prowess if a hippo with downsyndrome...
SmokeMoles 0
mmmmmm sounds hot
skittle68 0
Lol accidents happen. Sucks tho. I agree, kiss it better :)
Bartimaeus 7
I try.
jimmyhewt 0
ur hot
amayasoma 19
Well now I know what not to for my boyfriend. Kiss his groin better.
kaijapapaya 0
what a fantastic idea :D
dudeitsdanny 10
Really? I think you should do it and plan the stripping a little better. I ******* love when I can watch my girl strip, but she won't let me touch her. Learn from OP's mistake ;P
VampireKiller59 0
either that or consider it rough sex...
Gringe 1
Yeh it sounds spicy to me...
Mirorbo 27
It hurts just reading the last parts!!
Xavi89 0
is it really? : /
Cinn_fml 23
Well, that's the joy of real life. Cluminess sets in at the most inappropriate times... Shame it led to severe pain on your bf's part.
hahaalolz 0
and hers to dumbass, she pulled a muscle! -.-
Lucidium 0
too*, dumbass.
Cinn_fml 23
Hahaalolz, don't call me a dumbass when it's unfounded. Ok, so I didn't mention she was in pain because I missed that bit of the FML and thought she'd just fallen over. But her pain depends on how badly she pulled a muscle, granted the bf's pain also depends on how hard she hit him.
hahaalolz 0
smd
Cinn_fml 23
Ok, maybe now I'm being stupid, but I don't know what that stands for. Well, ok, I tried Wiki, but that didn't give me anything I would imagine you're using it as.
Cinn_fml 23
Ah, yes, Pendatik, I forgot about Urban Dictionary. Hahaalolz, you disappoint me, you've just shown that not only are you childish, but that you don't even understand anatomy. Next time, try not to just insult someone without justification. (Telling someone to 'suck your dick' isn't justification)
afghan_angel 0
Cinn- Just ignore the idiots. I love reading ur comments :) keep it up girl.
RedPillSucks 33
Sooooo, .... is hahaalolz a tranny?
laughing_atyou 0
73-You're a tranny!!
RedPillSucks 33
She was the one who said smd (Suck My Dick). I rest my case
YacL 15
Amen ^
Zervant 0
sounds like a 1 time thing. he'll never want you to do that ever again
garza559 0
good luck living that one down
Telinaa 0
I'm sure she was being sarcastic.
lionandthelamb61 9
Kiss it and make it better.
mrahhhhh 21
Looks like you'll be severely disappointed if you try to get kids out of him anytime soon. Think of this carefully it works on two levels.