Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized the topic for my 1750-word essay could end up offending people, and I had to start all over from the beginning with a different topic. FML
Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
Today, I had to write an argumentative essay about the morality of homosexuality. The prompt actually uses the phrase "the dangers of homosexuality." I'm bisexual. FML
Today, I got a writing assignment back. After meeting with my professor specially after class and meticulously combing through every word of that paper, I got a low D. Turns out, he graded me down on every suggestion of his that I took. FML
Today, I got paper thrown at me because I didn't agree with my classmate's conspiracy theory that Brian Griffin's death was planned by the illuminati. FML
Today, I finally got a reply to the letter to a celebrity that I had to write for my English class. It was a restraining order. FML
Today, my Platoon Sergeant caught me unshaved, so now I have to write a 1000 word essay on "The importance of shaving." FML
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Top comments
primadonna9396 16
Yeah, part of being a lawyer is finding ways to defend people who are the scum of the earth. That's why they make the big bucks
darkgodxvx 4
Welcome to due process. Enjoy your stay.
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Comments (338)
Major_General 10
Yeah, too bad you fought as a Marine to defend the rights of those you don't like. Gee, sucks. Put your big boy pants on and deal with it.
royalsnuff 0
I also am a Marine and believe that while I may not agree with what you say I will die to give you the right to say it.
DespairFaction 11
SemperFi do or Die.
laurapiggy 3
You don't have to agree to respect everyone's right to do what they want. Right or wrong they still have the right to do it. Thanks for fighting for my rights, as a Marine and a lawyer:).
BeautyIsABeast 4
As a former marine, I believe that you should place your values above money. I know this is an assignment but if this was me I'd probably tell them to suck a dick. You stood for something. They told you that you should burn in hell. I'm not military and I'd lose my temper with them.
misterbufford 1
Defend their right to free speech but make sure you note the 2nd amendment as well. Semper Fi brother.
thew_fml 14
as a marine, you should understand that freedom of speech is precious, and it exists to protect unpopular speech. popular speech needs no protection. the proper response to idiots like the WBC is to protest loudly. It is more and more free speech, not less speech, and not violence. i'm the son of holocaust survivors and i marched to allow both nazis and the KKK to have marches in new york. then when they won the rights that distinguish us from nazis and the KKK and joined in the much larger counter marches that spoke out against nazis and the KKK free speech is precious. if you deny it to assholes, assholes will eventually deny it to us
sdavis8873 1
When we both took the oath the become military personnel we agreed to defend the constitution. Freedom of speech is protected for the stupid also. In a small town in Kentucky we has a soldier's funeral that was protested. The biker group and the local people stopped them. The tried to file a report with the sheriff but he was at the funeral.
KaiserSD 8
Any way you can decline as a moral imperative? Probably not, but it's worth a shot.
thew_fml 14
how is going against the law, and one's oath to the constitution, a moral imperative?
holymackeral 12
Once a Marine, ALWAYS a Marine. Semper Fi