Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized the topic for my 1750-word essay could end up offending people, and I had to start all over from the beginning with a different topic. FML
Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
Today, I had to write an argumentative essay about the morality of homosexuality. The prompt actually uses the phrase "the dangers of homosexuality." I'm bisexual. FML
Today, I got a writing assignment back. After meeting with my professor specially after class and meticulously combing through every word of that paper, I got a low D. Turns out, he graded me down on every suggestion of his that I took. FML
Today, I got paper thrown at me because I didn't agree with my classmate's conspiracy theory that Brian Griffin's death was planned by the illuminati. FML
Today, I finally got a reply to the letter to a celebrity that I had to write for my English class. It was a restraining order. FML
Today, my Platoon Sergeant caught me unshaved, so now I have to write a 1000 word essay on "The importance of shaving." FML
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Top comments
primadonna9396 16
Yeah, part of being a lawyer is finding ways to defend people who are the scum of the earth. That's why they make the big bucks
darkgodxvx 4
Welcome to due process. Enjoy your stay.
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Comments (338)
Epikouros 32
This is a great opportunity to show that freedom means tolerating assholes, not just nice people that would be tolerated anyway. I'm sure they won't mind when you stress the part about the WBC troglodytes being assholes. That only makes the argument more impressive. A country is free when it's safe to be unpopular, whether you deserve it or not. Speaking on behalf of assholes all over the world, I say: thank you for your service.
Punkibug 0
Minorly, I had to do this in high school Eng. I hated it an failed the paper because I cannot argue something that is faulty. And funerals are something you do not ever protest at. Especially when said person, fraught for your right to be able to go to church...
CaptainBlack 18
YDI for being excited about a writing assignment
KML92 6
You're a moron
foxholeathiest 4
Wouldn't do it if I were you. Semper fi
sharksfan48 13
Sorry but I honestly don't know what that means, can some one tell me how that's bad?
spinnaker11 1
Westboro Baptist Church is a church in Kansas that's famous for claiming that American soldiers (including Marines) were being killed as God's punishment for the US tolerating homosexuals. They used to (maybe still do) protest the funerals of service men and women saying essentially "they deserved it"
KBear3109 29
They do still protest.
sharksfan48 13
Thanks 142
TheyCallMeDamien 18
*cringe*
Prophet710 2
Liberty is a double edged blade. But give me liberty or give me death. Semper Fi.
Ihazleatherpants 3
Well that sounds like a punch in the pants.
sacredeye73 11
Welcome to our broken Justice system. And congratulations on being accepted into law school. As much as it sucks, when you swore in at MEPS, you swore to defend our Constitution. As much as you may not agree, put your best foot forward and defend that whacky church's right to free speech. Thank you for your service. Semper Fi, Brother.
FMLTuna 6
What exactly is the purpose of protesting someone's funeral? Generally a protest has a goal of some sort, an outcome if you will. Do they believe those people shouldn't be buried in the ground? Someone help me out.
spinnaker11 1
Media coverage.