Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized the topic for my 1750-word essay could end up offending people, and I had to start all over from the beginning with a different topic. FML
Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
Today, I had to write an argumentative essay about the morality of homosexuality. The prompt actually uses the phrase "the dangers of homosexuality." I'm bisexual. FML
Today, I got a writing assignment back. After meeting with my professor specially after class and meticulously combing through every word of that paper, I got a low D. Turns out, he graded me down on every suggestion of his that I took. FML
Today, I got paper thrown at me because I didn't agree with my classmate's conspiracy theory that Brian Griffin's death was planned by the illuminati. FML
Today, I finally got a reply to the letter to a celebrity that I had to write for my English class. It was a restraining order. FML
Today, my Platoon Sergeant caught me unshaved, so now I have to write a 1000 word essay on "The importance of shaving." FML
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Top comments
primadonna9396 16
Yeah, part of being a lawyer is finding ways to defend people who are the scum of the earth. That's why they make the big bucks
darkgodxvx 4
Welcome to due process. Enjoy your stay.
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Comments (338)
talloctopus 7
Thats sucky. But hey its kind of good practice to help when you become a lawyer. :)
1crabbygirl 10
Sounds like you are about to undergo some serious spiritual growth.
happylawyer 16
First, you will be defending rights, not just people. Even the worst criminals have rights. Now, freedom of speech can be limited in time, place or ways, but not on what you say. Remember there are some rights and ammendments that are intended againt other people, but mostly, the Constitution had the purpose of limiting the goverment 's authority over the people. Good luck and enjoy! It is a long, sad and ungrateful trip but it is worth every moment.
killerofbabies 4
I'm a marine to. Just think of what any staff nco would say. Adapt and overcome devil. Put your head down and write the shit out of that paper. Remember your customs and courtesies, if you get lost in the sauce remember your mission, to defend douche bags..you trackin
DevilDog80 4
Semper Fi dawg. Just suck it up. I made it through law school last year after a career in the Corps!
RoseCrystal 17
F*ck those hate mongering douchebag cult freaks. Aside from that, that's how law school goes, you have to exam all sides, even the WBC ass hats.
KML92 6
This is off the main topic but since when is a marine called a "former" marine?
Sirin_fml 47
Whenever an OP says "ex-Marine", a lot of people say there is no such thing, and that it's "former Marine". Now, when an OP says "former Marine", people complain about that too. I've heard that some Marines use the term, and some don't like it so much. What's up with that?
DemiTwilight 4
I think it has to do with the fact that people look at the term 'ex-Marine' and 'former Marine' imply no longer being a marine where as those said people believe that the discipline and characteristics you build stay with you forever and they never 'stop' being there. That's from what I can see anyways.
KML92 6
I grew up with a father that's a marine. And have quiet a few buddies who are marines. Never once have I heard them use the term former marine. Guess not many of em like the "once a marine, always a marine" thing then? Idk just stating my point of view from the marines I've been around my whole life.
Couldbeworese 0
Don't know if you will actually see this but depending on how the paper is set up you might be able to write regarding the supreme courts decision that the folks who form rings around the funeral participants to keep the Westboro people away are also covered under free speech therefore legal
noisebox 1
How'd ya get into law school most of the military types seems seem to be a couple of bricks short of a full load...
fyreprincess 3
a nice challenging assignment. it'll be good practice. do your best!