Today, I sat awkwardly and pretended like I didn't notice my cousin discreetly trying to masturbate while talking to me. This isn't the first time anything like this has happened. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went over to talk to my boss. I must have snuck up on her because she was masturbating through her pants. She stopped and I had to chat away, pretending I didn't notice. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML
Today, I was watching porn in the living room with the volume turned up, because I was under the impression that my family had already left for vacation. It turns out my cousin and his girlfriend were upstairs the entire time. FML
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, whilst visiting one of my distant cousins for the first time in years, she came onto me. After gently explaining to her that this was inappropriate, she broke down in tears. Whilst I awkwardly comforted her, she started stroking my inner thigh, apparently still trying to seduce me. FML
Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML
Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML
Today, in a bizarre power move, my cousin flashed me her tits. I thought it a mistake and didn’t acknowledge it, until it happened again for much much longer. I was terrified. Prior to this I hadn’t even realized she had fake tits. FML
Today, my cousin came to visit from Texas. It would have been great if he hadn't groped me and whispered, "Incest isn't illegal" when he saw me. FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
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Top comments
CrassKal 27
You should just call them on that shit.
DontModMeDammit 10
That's when you leave the room.
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Comments (99)
SystemofaBlink41 27
Wow why don't you give him a han--- *gets mauled by a tiger*
dead_insects 18
I hate to blame the victim, but maybe one reason your cousin has done it more than once was because nothing was said by you and it MAY have appeared to be 'tolerated', for lack of a better term. PLEASE, for your own sanity, put an end to it! It's just terrible...
FirebirdF350 7
Anyone able to say stereotypical inbreeding? 'Hey there cuz, just beating the bacon like I did last night over you' I would say you deserve it, simply for the fact you didn't clock him out like an oil rigger on christmas, and I'm more disturbed you actually kept talking to him during this. Regardless of how many times it happens.
Stoopid_life 2
That's obviously not alright!!! Don't just sit there get off your ass and tell someone what's going on! Before it gets worst!!!!
SxeDaze 13
Maybe he's lonely op, give him a "hand" next time. Bury this comment seems like 35 beat me to it r.i.p.
puuhhtricia 4
Cousin got a thing for you? Or just hella horny ? O.o
sofiery 9
I've just been moderating FMLs and it came up wit this one 'Today, I was masturbating in front of my cousin, this is the most action I've gotten in a couple months FML' - reckon it's the same cousin??? Either way, that is absolutely disgusting - tell them to stop! If they've done it before, they clearly think it's okay to do it in front of you now!
sofiery 9
*with
IOmnomHard 10
The cousin could be a girl, guys. :P
pexy_fml 16
You are a girl or a boy
the_true_batman 10
Yes, OP is either a girl or a boy, great observational skills.
KiddNYC1O 22
Lmao.
tpike1296 11
My ex once invited me to her house, and covered up "because she was cold", I noticed hand movements, and knew exactly what she was doing. It didn't bother me, but it was awkward when she confirmed my suspicions around 45 minutes later. (We weren't dating at the time, we broke up and decided to remain friends). TL;DR: when you're fapping, we know,