Today, whilst visiting one of my distant cousins for the first time in years, she came onto me. After gently explaining to her that this was inappropriate, she broke down in tears. Whilst I awkwardly comforted her, she started stroking my inner thigh, apparently still trying to seduce me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my cousin that I would gladly help him get through the loss of my aunt. That is until he started flirting with me. FML
Today, a slightly older guy friend of mine told me that he thinks of me as a little sister. Immediately afterwards, he tried to make out with me. FML
Today, someone flirted with me. They kept touching me, insisting we should go out sometime, and hounding me for my number. At a family-only memorial service. FML
Today, I was saying goodbye to a friend after a long day out. I went for a hug, and as I pulled away, I kissed her on the cheek for some reason. Realising it was an awkward mistake, I pulled back even more and said, "Sorry, I thought you were my mum." She looked at me confused, and we both stood there in complete silence for what felt like hours. FML
Today, a classmate came up to me, quickly shoved a dollar bill down my shirt, threw her arms around me and told me to pretend I was her boyfriend to avoid some other guy. Sad thing is, this is the first girl I've hugged in ages. FML
Today, I went in for a hug with my friend, but she leaned in for a kiss on the cheek at the same time. What followed was a full-on awkward face collision where I ended up kissing her on the lips. We both stood there, staring at each other before I muttered, “Sorry, gross." She really took it personally. FML
Today, my cousin tried to hit on me. I told him that was inappropriate and pushed him off me. He was offended when I went to tell my folks. All they said was, “That’s fine. You should’ve let him.” Um, what? FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's extended family for the first time. Her family kept telling her how much I looked and acted like her older brother and I'm guessing by the end of the day she agreed, because now she pulls away and gags when I try to kiss her. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML
Today, I asked the girl I like if she had her eye on anyone, subtly hinting that I wanted to date her. I sat there while she confessed her love for her cousin. FML
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Top comments
Bogrbon 27
Okay, this is definitely sexual harassment, since he’s said to him it was inappropriate. If genders were reversed everyone would be way on top of the cousin. That being said it definitely depends on how distant the cousin is, whether it would be appropriate if the OP was interested. Though I, personally, would not date someone who I could map out our shared relative. I was talking to a girl I wanted to ask out, when I mentioned a crazy relative who inspired a film character and she said, “wait that was my relative too.” Turns out they were the same person. Killed any chance of that.
RichardPencil 32
She must have been ugly. There's no legitimate legal or genetic reason to not have sex with distant cousins.
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Comments (5)
natspang 8
go for it! haha!
Bogrbon 27
Okay, this is definitely sexual harassment, since he’s said to him it was inappropriate. If genders were reversed everyone would be way on top of the cousin. That being said it definitely depends on how distant the cousin is, whether it would be appropriate if the OP was interested. Though I, personally, would not date someone who I could map out our shared relative. I was talking to a girl I wanted to ask out, when I mentioned a crazy relative who inspired a film character and she said, “wait that was my relative too.” Turns out they were the same person. Killed any chance of that.
rainbowdonnareed 18
No auntie or grandmother you could drag her over towards or run towards while screaming help
RichardPencil 32
She must have been ugly. There's no legitimate legal or genetic reason to not have sex with distant cousins.
tounces7 28
You may be downvoted but you're probably spot on with your assessment. It wouldn't have been "Inappropriate" if she was hot.
Anzubar 5
I agree, he'd have taken her to pound town if she looked like Megan Fox
coius 23
Oddly enough I kinda agree. I thought I saw an article a few months ago that after generations of preventing inbreeding through laws and such, they came to the conclusion that today in most of the world, if you produced a child from brother and sister, they really wouldn’t have enough genetic defects from that to cause most inbred diseases like “duke’s chin” or “hemophilia”. It took generations to cause that, which is why the royal family was affected. Technically, so many were intimately related, you could call World War I a family feud. As they all were first cousins and brothers and sisters of each other (it’s how they retained power, by making country rules family members.) I have a saying “Inbreeding: if it’s in the southern US, It’s redneck, if it’s in the UK, it’s royalty”. Besides incest is best, as a family that lays together, stays together, right? (Ok that was clearly meant as a joke, don’t shoot me) And, no.. I’m not condoning sleeping with family members, just pointing out the science in it and the limited consequences when it happens.
Bogrbon 27
You’re correct that a single cousin marriage isn’t too high of a risk, and that it takes multiple generations of cousin-cousin marriages to make that risk very high for cousins. (It is higher for 1st cousins, but only like doubles the risk, though it’s doubling a very small risk. You’re completely ass-backwards wrong about siblings though. 1st degree relatives (parent-child or brother-sister) children have a VERY high rate of genetic defects.
John Raymond Matheney 6
yeeeesssss gooood, let the dark side flow through you