Today, I sat awkwardly and pretended like I didn't notice my cousin discreetly trying to masturbate while talking to me. This isn't the first time anything like this has happened. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went over to talk to my boss. I must have snuck up on her because she was masturbating through her pants. She stopped and I had to chat away, pretending I didn't notice. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML
Today, I was watching porn in the living room with the volume turned up, because I was under the impression that my family had already left for vacation. It turns out my cousin and his girlfriend were upstairs the entire time. FML
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, whilst visiting one of my distant cousins for the first time in years, she came onto me. After gently explaining to her that this was inappropriate, she broke down in tears. Whilst I awkwardly comforted her, she started stroking my inner thigh, apparently still trying to seduce me. FML
Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML
Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML
Today, in a bizarre power move, my cousin flashed me her tits. I thought it a mistake and didn’t acknowledge it, until it happened again for much much longer. I was terrified. Prior to this I hadn’t even realized she had fake tits. FML
Today, my cousin came to visit from Texas. It would have been great if he hadn't groped me and whispered, "Incest isn't illegal" when he saw me. FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
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Top comments
CrassKal 27
You should just call them on that shit.
DontModMeDammit 10
That's when you leave the room.
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Comments (99)
alexlovescandy 3
That happens to me all the time. With my sister and my friends , it's like a epidemic !!
Dracoboxer357 36
.....Your sister and your friends frequently ********** while talking to you? Why does this strike me as a tad abnormal? O.o
leh9 2
Call him out on it
joss777 3
**** you people who assuming that it was a male cousin.
hateevryone 15
And you just sit there while he's doing it?
firefighterjohn 9
ohhhh so your that 1 cousin that everyone has a crush on!
oklahoma1233 1
You must be really sexy!
Lorean 6
What a Weirdo!!
ravenevercross 19
The fact this has happened several time and you don't say anything makes me think you might enjoy it. Ask if he/she needs a hand next time. That will solve the issue one way or another.
CastielJ 6
What makes you think the cousin was a guy? Damn Bia-ist people.
jsantepic09 1
Maybe the cousin is comfortable with his/her body. I don't know why people insist on making a big deal out of this. This can be easily addressed by just having the OP talk to their cousin calmly about it. Shoot maybe the cousin was already going at it when the OP walked into the room, maybe they have an overactive sex drive. Who knows but people shouldnt automatically jump to public humiliation, no wonder people have dysfunctional sex drives. I say as long as all parties involved are of age or near enough then they should handle it like the adults they are.
downtime 13
There is no excuse for it if he's old enough and of sane mind enough to know better, but there is definitely no need to be a complete dick about it like everyone has been suggesting.