Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I sat awkwardly and pretended like I didn't notice my cousin discreetly trying to masturbate while talking to me. This isn't the first time anything like this has happened. FML
Today, while driving home with my parents. I pretended to be asleep so mum wouldn't talk to me. They then took this time to describe what they were going to do to each other when they got home. In full detail. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML
Today, my mom was driving with my brothers and sister in the back seat. She was turned around talking to us, when my sister told my mom that she missed the light. She ran it, then screamed at us about not paying attention and noticing your surroundings. FML
Today, my family and I drove to a mall an hour away. We split up, and I went into a store by myself. A little later, I get a call from my brother asking me where I am. They had already left to go home and didn't notice me missing from the car. They were already halfway home. FML
Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML
Today, most of my family was out of the house, so I took the opportunity to go to the bathroom and browse some porn. Five minutes later my sister comes and asks me to disconnect from Bluetooth and that my "dinosaur noises" were blocking her and her friend's music. I'm currently hiding in shame. FML
Today, while riding on the car with my family, I put on my headphones and pretended to be listening to music and when my parents talked to me, I pretended I couldn't hear them. They took this opportunity to discuss how fat I was and how I can't hold down a boyfriend. They were laughing as well. FML
Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML
Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML
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Top comments
TatMan15 10
Aww that's just nasty
KeannaLove 32
She is way to comfortable around you guys lol.
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Comments (199)
TatMan15 10
Aww that's just nasty
ShroomsOnAcid 17
I've actually done that myself, but in my defense I wasn't around family and I was half asleep and didn't realize what I was doing. Well, not until I heard the laughter anyhow. Sounds like OP's sister was perfectly aware, though. FYL, but try not to think about it too much and just laugh about it.
Climaxx 11
ShroomsOnAcid, I don't think I could ever laugh about it, or even look at them in the eyes for a loong time if any of my family members played with themselves sitting right next to me..
ShroomsOnAcid 17
50, I would find it quite awkward and weird as well, but you don't have to let it scar you for life. Life is much better when you learn not to sweat the small things.
LlGHTS 1
38: cool story bro.
aceman1992 9
65-That didn't go how you planned, huh? Btw can I have some cash.... Please.
julien86_fml 2
38 - good one :)
SwaggerHaver 3
You should've stared her dead in the eyes the whole time
kyarush 10
That's awesome.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
What can I say, 79, my hand just migrated to my nether regions all by itself. My subconscious betrayed the part of me that will regret ever falling asleep in a car full of people. It's best to just make light of the situation, I think.
DinosaursAreCool_fml 8
That's naaaasty (Cleveland voice)
Nxty 2
103 - Aww, how emburrassing!!
HahaHokayThen 10
I don't understand why the sister couldn't have waited until they got home? Was she like, "I WANT IT NOW" ?
RrLSf19 0
Ur sister needs to talk to a nice man with a large white coat and syringe...
hurtandabused 7
How old was his sister?! If she's little then shes probably just exploring that stage of development which would be natural.
GovernorGeneral 8
127 - its not like she has a mental problem. -.-
GovernorGeneral 8
She just made the simple mistake of doing that in the wrong place at the wrong time.
skullcandifiedDJ 5
How the the hell can someone ********** with a family member present at the car!?!?! I would be COMPLETELY turned off and boner killed to even think about it
GreenAppleDP 0
I agree with 141. If the sister is a small child, it's really not her fault and most likely doesn't know any better. However, if the sister is a teenager or older, she might want to reconsider the proper time and place for all that.
RrLSf19 0
Sorry but I just thought since she's in a car with other people it be a little weird....
periwinkle95 10
I would have taken the coat off and been like, "Whatcha doin there?!". But then again, that is harsh.. This could go many ways.
OriginalimoaN 15
EW 187! Why the **** would you want to see your sister playing with herself?!
richards621 9
obviously to embarrass her, not to watch (i hope)
GovernorGeneral 8
148- DEATH NOTE !!!!!!!!! I looove death note!! :DD
namasteyourface 2
seriously can understand that shit happening! when you're half asleep at least....ok at most not at least!
theaws0m3guy 4
Giggity.
periwinkle95 10
203- calm the **** down. 230- yes, obviously to embarrass her. Idiots.
levibarks 5
'Embarrassing' Dumbass
CherryCola46 5
Yea.... When I read it I imagined her like 18 19 lol
krez 20
Mmmmm... me too!
BexRae 1
hahahaha aaahahahaha ahahaha
BrutalnHonestbro 7
I so woulda said something and embarrassed the **** out of her.
jesspie 8
eww
ManlyDunsparce 3
Not ew she did it. Well yea because it was her sister. But ew because the car smelt of an unwashed fisherman. HAAAYO.
Metteris 0
You've clearly never been with a girl if you think it smells like fish down there :)
LightningCactus 12
Unless every girl 54 has been with is a dirty hoe.
Metteris 0
Very true.
madz5758 10
I think op is a guy..?
Metteris 0
I guess there's a lot 54 is oblivious to.
kooochris1995 14
#82 didn't realize till you pointed it out. I think it made it 10 times worse.
buck33 14
In the car... Probably a new low for her. I hope so because imagine what's worse, at the mall?
jkmartinjk 16
Wincest! :D but really, you should've said something.
Sinforme17 0
Ah yes Wincest, the game the whole family can play!
Awsumuzzie 12
This has happened to me way more than I want to admit, it's not easy to say something... And when you do, they'll most likely just deny it.
csickcman 11
47 One way to start the conversation could be, "Need help, sis?"
Awsumuzzie 12
83, we'd be both too excited to think straight... Thanks! I'll try it!
leogirl95 12
Shoulda been like "MOM she's masturbating!!!"
TunechiXXL 0
I don't know how you could "pretend" to not notice for 30 minutes?! WTF OP?! You liked it?
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Wincest indeed. Epic wincest would have been joining in.... or taking over
anelelabel 6
Should have looked her straight in the eye and asked her if she wanted some cream for that itch.
ohmylanta22 5
I literally laughed out loud at your comment 189 :D
FaustXIII 0
Pretend to be genuinely naive. "Wow, sis, you must be really good at Angry Birds if you don't even have to look!"
Localex_fml 1
lmaoooo
Cathos 3
totally should have called her out on it
flockz 20
or just gave her a dead eye stare while she was doing it.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Somehow, gazing into my sister's eyes while she's touching herself doesn't seem like the best idea to me, 41.
ferrettamer 6
You should've stared at her in the eyes, the proceeded to play with yourself.
steff900 6
OP, thats ******* nasty, get a room.
KeyboardWarrior 10
75 I think somebody misread the FML.
swimmer3141 10
#70, that would be wrong on multiple levels.
steff900 6
Totally meant to say that to the sister lol...
KeannaLove 32
She is way to comfortable around you guys lol.
TPSerigne 9
What do you do when you just can't wait?
aruam365 24
I'm wondering if OP wasn't mistaken and that the sister may have been doing something else with her hands (like absentmindedly fidgeting her hands) under the coat causing the appearance of her touching herself.
xx000o 27
#5, Or she just didn't care.
Jamialia 5
It's ******* filth, that's what it is.
aisthecoolest 8
I agree with 241 :D
dmandan 4
Hello... My name is Daniel and you, my dear are very cute !
schausbaby17 5
Lmao it's "*******" filth said from a commenter with a filthy mouth lolllllll
biznezz 0
How do you know she wasn't doing anything else?
soccercreator7 3
It was probably very obvious. He probably wouldn't have said she was if he wasn't sure.
downtime 13
13, Ah yes because as we know this individual is of strong moral character and wouldn't possibly make such a comment without being 100% sure it was true. Why if he did that then his name wouldn't be jjs51!
soccercreator7 3
286- please.. Just shut up. I had to read your comment about 5 times to somewhat understand it.
Almighty_Chris97 6
287 - damn I accidentally thumbed you up. I quit FML.
soccercreator7 3
Haha it's all right at least we all know what your intentions really were now. Haha
Blacksxe 1
I have no words to describe how hot (but in this case disturbing) that is... I'm sorry. The best thing to do is pretend you're asleep so you can't see her.
yuri63f6 7
Asleep?? Driving??? Yeah, that will stop her...
periwinkle95 10
102- You Sir/Ma'am are stupid.
teamjacob21 0
Your filthy man
bloodbrothers24 0
Actually I kinda agree with what he is saying haha
bizarre_ftw 22
Okay, question: Why do guys find the idea of girls masturbating so hot? It doesn't work the other way around
Kazze 31
332: The only way I can think of to answer that would be: guys are weird.
Scotth901 22
Guys find almost anything like that attractive/turn-on ish. Plus we are messed up :]
Scotth901 22
Idk, it's in our dna. We need to reproduce, so men are much more easily sexually stimulated than women! ;)
huntingsucks 4
Anyone smell fish???
hthelittleone 10
Ahahaha ewww
Inheritance 10
Brother: When did we get Long John Silvers? Mom: What are you talking about? Brother: It smells like fish back here! Mom: *turns around* WTH!
periwinkle95 10
If you think girls smell like fish down there you're wrong lol, unless they are not very hygienic or just dirty ****** haha
elite_stoner 0
^not being clean would be the point there ^
huntingsucks 4
Well if she is playing with herself in a car with her family she is most likely a *****
soccercreator7 3
You should have asked her what she was doing. She probably would have gotten embarrassed and never do it again.. If she thinks she got away with it once. She will most definitely try to do it again. Hope you can clear all the nasty thoughts from your head OP.
wolfshadow 4
Nasty thoughts about his sister? :L
ciaobella89_fml 3
If op's sister is pretty young, its honestly normal for young children to do stuff like that since they are just beginning to discover their bodies and don't yet understand that it is inappropriate to do things like that in public places. It's obviously still uncomfortable to be around though.
bizarre_ftw 22
But a young child that didn't know any better wouldn't have enough sense, or for that matter reason, to put a coat over her lap
soccercreator7 3
That's exactly why you ask her what she is doing, so you can let her know that's not appropriate. It would be better if we knew how old OPs sister is to see if she knows better or not.
21jason 9
Hopefully her coat is absorbent...
KRS_13 0
Or water proof. Wouldn't wanna soil a perfectly good coat!
farhil 14
Soil? I would buy her coat from her if I had the chance
champloo_fml 0
Now THATS creepy as ****
bizarre_ftw 22
^it's the Internet, of course not (all the same, that's still ******* creepy)
farhil 14
Desired reaction: achieved