Today, I sat awkwardly and pretended like I didn't notice my cousin discreetly trying to masturbate while talking to me. This isn't the first time anything like this has happened. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went over to talk to my boss. I must have snuck up on her because she was masturbating through her pants. She stopped and I had to chat away, pretending I didn't notice. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML
Today, I was watching porn in the living room with the volume turned up, because I was under the impression that my family had already left for vacation. It turns out my cousin and his girlfriend were upstairs the entire time. FML
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, whilst visiting one of my distant cousins for the first time in years, she came onto me. After gently explaining to her that this was inappropriate, she broke down in tears. Whilst I awkwardly comforted her, she started stroking my inner thigh, apparently still trying to seduce me. FML
Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML
Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML
Today, in a bizarre power move, my cousin flashed me her tits. I thought it a mistake and didn’t acknowledge it, until it happened again for much much longer. I was terrified. Prior to this I hadn’t even realized she had fake tits. FML
Today, my cousin came to visit from Texas. It would have been great if he hadn't groped me and whispered, "Incest isn't illegal" when he saw me. FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
CrassKal 27
You should just call them on that shit.
DontModMeDammit 10
That's when you leave the room.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (99)
IRSxCrakaAssJak 2
Well u must be pretty cute
ishida1236 4
Yuck
ak2580 0
Lol that awkward moment where you don't want to be there;) Your life really sucks *there was also the time when a student in my collage was masturbating and the teacher have to call down the staff..
fatalwish 6
you should squirt him with cold water like a cat when he does it
chrisbravo 4
Is you cousin George Michael Bluth?? Kudos for those who get it.
jawjuhh 6
Maeby you're right, but George Michael would never be so vulgar! D:
andersonftw 0
Eww that's so weird... I would say something or just not talk to him/her anymore. I couldn't just sit there and listen to it. Gross!!
isis_morrigan 18
Grow a set and confront him! He's obviously not going to stop with your current "pretend it's not happening" method.
DeVaughnS 5
I learned to stop masturbating in front of people a long time ago lol jk I never learned that
justtomuchtime 3
Maybe ur voice is smexy lol And go ahead and give me down votes on this, irdc.
loucypher 2
He was thinking of you