Anonymous
Saudi Arabia 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Brighton, Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Privacy
Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML
Isabell
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
OhGodWhy
Indianapolis, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I caught my coworker masturbating in the bathroom. This was during her shift, while I was mopping the bathroom floors. FML
jesus christ, dad
Manchester, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Knock first
Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML
dinosaucer
United States 🌶️ Spicy
You wanker
Today, I was accused of masturbating during work. I was actually just getting something out of my pocket. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
So frustratiiiiing
Today, I caught my boyfriend masturbating, again. Meanwhile we haven’t had sex in weeks. FML
GoldenTornado11
🌶️ Spicy
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Anonymous
Camarillo, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Rubbing one out on the sly
Today, I went over to talk to my boss. I must have snuck up on her because she was masturbating through her pants. She stopped and I had to chat away, pretending I didn't notice. FML
DearLord
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Next, on The Jerry Springer Show…
Today, I had to explain to my boss that masturbating in public is inappropriate. This isn't the first time this has taken place. FML
Anonymous
Fort Lauderdale, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML
Top comments
starflyer59 17
look them in the eye and finish like a boss!
Dcm210 19
You shouldn't be doing it in public anyway.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (138)
Dcm210 19
You shouldn't be doing it in public anyway.
starflyer59 17
oh yeah, i totally missed that invisible sentence about it being in public! :O
Bakarra 22
Ninja sentences everywhere...
ninjajoehenes48 8
#12 I'm pretty sure he was just making a joke.
rg350dx 29
38, He's not allowed to be funny. He's blacklisted by the FHI (Federal Humor Institution).
Poppipuff 14
But I thought his comment was funny :(
ElizaZee 9
I think we're all really curious, OP. Who was it?
ajh557 22
#22 You comment on everything I see!
LightningCactus 12
Rub me once, shame on me. Rub me twice, shame on you.
wjh100 13
I've had this happen to me before actually. its midnight and I'm having my alone time and my mom walks in sees what in doing anf scurries out. she then comes back 30 seconds later as if she forgot what I was doing
philbelfrage 13
86 - You mean you kept going? Wouldn't that kill the mood for you?
Grahamski 7
true!
starflyer59 17
look them in the eye and finish like a boss!
no_lungs 16
like a boss..
Bakarra 22
Yes THAT IS what it said #5, thank god you said that because I was having so much trouble reading it the first time!
bluehero 17
#20, that's probably the worst sarcastic reply I've ever seen
kakarot2 11
Why are you such a jerk? Lol someone forgot to put some Vagicil this morning....
Lizardgirl 7
20, Take a lesson from the noob who ended up embarassing herself because she didn't understand why her very first comment on this site "that sounds like a shitty situation" got thumbed down and who then got cyberbullied because she was stupid enough to then voice her confusion/frustration: Whatever you do, do NOT try so hard. Let the witty replys/puns/sarcasm come naturally :)
Lizardgirl 7
Just some advice..
Wimoweh 10
Guys, no need to get mad over a silly Lonely Island reference.
kakarot2 11
My comment was towards 20... Might make a difference to state that. If not I'll be ok
ThePsyche 9
37- Adding a smiley at the end of your "advice" does not make your rant any less condescending.
Zyzz7 12
Finish in your hand at throw it at them OP. Theres nothing worse than being hit by a flying ****
byFate 5
Dammit mom, please knock next time!
Dracoboxer357 36
Twice? If you didn't learn the first time, you really deserve it, Op. :p
Enslaved 38
That person that caught the OP the first time should have learn too. :P
Harpy20 24
If they're a voyeur, they're doing a great job.
THuD29 4
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me
theycallmekitty 13
3rd times the charm!
maniaccy 8
That's when they take the place of what you were doing it with..
helloimclaudia 30
You should lock the door.
lilhellian 27
But what if op is in the bushes? Should he close the leaf?
ShannyAK 16
Maybe go somewhere more private
keverdeen 14
That really could have been prevented, OP
PaigeLeeAnn11 23
Maybe you should invest in a lock.
gc327072 31
Or a sock!
Inciter 33
Or ********** somewhere that he won't get caught!
TheBrochure 22
Or how to better handle shock!
Bakarra 22
Or find a more discreet place to pull his ****?
HiIAmKevin 8
Better find another rhyme. Time starts now and you're on the clock.
Harpy20 24
*tick tock*
Sekkaichi 12
I would try to rhyme, but I'm pretty sure someone is going to hit me with a rock.
maniaccy 8
Respect man. Don't talk like that
NoFlippinWai 24
at least not behind his back.
challan 19
If they came back for another look, I say give em' a show
NoFlippinWai 24
calm down. the rhyming was only funny the first time.
FMLbutYDI 17
What I learned from Fairly Odd Parents is everyone should knock on the bathroom door. Do it in there.