Today, my cousin came to visit from Texas. It would have been great if he hadn't groped me and whispered, "Incest isn't illegal" when he saw me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML
Today, my cousin tried to hit on me. I told him that was inappropriate and pushed him off me. He was offended when I went to tell my folks. All they said was, “That’s fine. You should’ve let him.” Um, what? FML
Today, whilst visiting one of my distant cousins for the first time in years, she came onto me. After gently explaining to her that this was inappropriate, she broke down in tears. Whilst I awkwardly comforted her, she started stroking my inner thigh, apparently still trying to seduce me. FML
Today, I told my cousin that I would gladly help him get through the loss of my aunt. That is until he started flirting with me. FML
Today, I sat awkwardly and pretended like I didn't notice my cousin discreetly trying to masturbate while talking to me. This isn't the first time anything like this has happened. FML
Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML
Today, I caught my cousin's husband ogling me at a party. I decided to talk to him, but each time he'd avoid me. Eventually I confronted him about staring at me; he then pointed at the front of my dress, my nipple had slightly snuck out of my low-cut dress. FML
Today, my mate was bragging about the nudes he was getting from this random girl, he proceeded to show me... It was my cousin. FML
Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML
Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML
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Top comments
coolmike699 26
Hopefully you replied "neither is self defense!" before kicking him in the balls so hard, they popped.
ChakatBlackstar 29
Doesn't he know that just because you're related doesn't mean you can skip the dating and courtship portion of the relationship? Otherwise you're just being lazy and creepy.
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Comments (17)
ChakatBlackstar 29
Doesn't he know that just because you're related doesn't mean you can skip the dating and courtship portion of the relationship? Otherwise you're just being lazy and creepy.
Arashikage 18
Just stop talking
Lobby_Bee 18
I know right? At least a dinner before any physical contacts. A gentleman would know.
coolmike699 26
Hopefully you replied "neither is self defense!" before kicking him in the balls so hard, they popped.
WeirdUS 30
Put icy hot in some of his underwear when he is not in the house. If he falls asleep on the couch wake him up with a swift kick to the balls. I would also suggest putting hot sauce and is OJ or in any of the sports drinks
RichardPencil 32
Well, you know what they say: “Everything’s bigger in Texas!”... including your cousin’s ick-factor!
MrFrumpy 2
But sexual assault is.
chessu 21
Today, on things that never happened
Sinshine 28
and this is when he goes back to Texas
Tarlachia 33
So that’s where your cousin from Alabama went!
ncparry 18
This is BS.
DanielleinDC 34
When you're related, you can do anything...grab 'em by the pussy, you can do anything.