Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off, only to learn that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML
Today, I was instructed to shave my back in preperation for my first tattoo. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a "talk." So now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML
Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML
Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML
Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke, and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML
Today, I found out that the phrase I got tattooed on my lower back is misspelled. FML
Today, I showed off my new tattoo to my friends. Too bad it says "Walk Earless" now instead of "Walk Fearless." That's right, I'm now supporting Van Gogh. FML
Today, I got fired for having a visible tattoo on my neck. The tattoo in question is a scar from a surgery I had 2 months ago. The same one paid for by my employer's insurance and missed 2 weeks of work for. FML
Today, my tattoo artist boyfriend of five months gave me my first tattoo in celebration of my 18th birthday. It was supposed to be a heart with my name in script. He spelled my name wrong. FML
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Top comments
MaddogTotten 0
Haha, penis. You really should make sure that nothing you permanently attach to your body looks in any way like a penis, in any context. Sorry but YDI.
UpYourself 0
Hahaha owned
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Comments (124)
UpYourself 0
Hahaha owned
emilysanftwsom 0
Agreed, owned.
HahaYDI 0
I third that statement
abreif 0
YDI... and: pics or it didn't happen
DisturbedDriver 0
Quit replying to the 1st post just to get attention.
Person_Man 0
yea give us pics, i wanna see the sword lol
dude_stfu 0
YDI for getting a ******* sword on your back... Who does that anyways? Are you like weirdly obsessed with Lord of the rings or something?
kearabo 0
get long hair?
she_says 0
who gives a shit if someone replies so they can be at the top? i dont understand why everyone flips a bitch over it. who ******* cares. just lift you finger to scroll down the damn page an inch further.. it takes more effort to write an entire complaint instead of GETTING THE **** OVER IT.
BigDick17 0
Yeah definitely YDI for getting such a douche tattoo
great_guy 0
Get another tattoo of a lady sucking the tip... that would look really cool... don't ya think?
iiNsTinK 0
epic fail. i wanna see a pic of this "sword"
Gfrigo 1
penis neck... fyl
purplekanc 24
I agree.
mo_the_owl 0
edit?
tinyphreak 0
More like... "Ctrl+Z?"
nypd613 0
you must be a windows person or it'd be command Z. damn windows...
zomfgrawr_ 0
LOL.
fmlfmlfml15 0
Helloooooooo turtlenecks!!!!!
MarioandSonic 8
pictures or it didn't happen.
Emma_91 0
ouch. Check your designs next time.
wazdog 4
PENIS!
TiNyBuBbLeZ 0
you like it dont you
hotdogbitchface 0
Brock Lesnar shares your pain.
notcoolperson 0
you sir, are a legend.
alicks_fml 0
Hey dude, since you've already got a big dick tattooed on your back, you might as well go the whole nine and have it shooting a blood-load or something out like **** Chestnar does. Red Dragons!
Intoxicunt 6
Indeed. Hahaha.
nat_june 0
that ***** permanent
tyhillman 0
No, it's not thanks to today's technology. You can get it removed by laser.
ForestFire0 1
Yes, you can get a tattoo laser removed. Of course, the pain and expense are both about 10x worse than the tattoo itself
AP13_13 0
and it comes back through enough sun exposure
MaddogTotten 0
Haha, penis. You really should make sure that nothing you permanently attach to your body looks in any way like a penis, in any context. Sorry but YDI.
raybury 2
Excpet if you are physically female, and getting gender reassignment surgery to "become" male. Then you want something exactly like a penis attached to your body.
blah123blah 0
You better get rid of your penis then, you don't want that sort of thing attached to your body do you?
yawneall 0
the point of this post?
null_fml 11
You're weird, Lacey, but awesome.
lalagirl912 0
was half of thy a song.... it's a pretty awesome song! on the radio all the time xD
Jared900DUmpling 30
What about a penis?
jollyjam1 2
Well, that is what you get for permanently scaring your body. Oh yeah, hahahahaha!
crazy_cat_lady24 0
Yeah, my body would be pretty scared too if it had a penis on it all of a sudden.
UpYourself 0
*cough* lesbian *cough*
paperfox_fml 0
Of course. Straight women all over the globe would be delighted to suddenly be wearing a penis.
Shadow_Phantom 26
Hopefully not too many people have dirty minds, but just explain to them it's a sword and lift up the back of your shirt a little if they ask or laugh. FYL though.
eliz3 0
not too many people have dirty minds? I think the real issue is the fact you don't need to have a dirty mind to recognise a penis on someones back.
joeydboy123 0
or go back to the parlor and get the guy to make the hilt look less penissy
drewbell 0
haha, penissy