Today, I sat awkwardly and pretended like I didn't notice my cousin discreetly trying to masturbate while talking to me. This isn't the first time anything like this has happened. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went over to talk to my boss. I must have snuck up on her because she was masturbating through her pants. She stopped and I had to chat away, pretending I didn't notice. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML
Today, I was watching porn in the living room with the volume turned up, because I was under the impression that my family had already left for vacation. It turns out my cousin and his girlfriend were upstairs the entire time. FML
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, whilst visiting one of my distant cousins for the first time in years, she came onto me. After gently explaining to her that this was inappropriate, she broke down in tears. Whilst I awkwardly comforted her, she started stroking my inner thigh, apparently still trying to seduce me. FML
Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML
Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML
Today, in a bizarre power move, my cousin flashed me her tits. I thought it a mistake and didn’t acknowledge it, until it happened again for much much longer. I was terrified. Prior to this I hadn’t even realized she had fake tits. FML
Today, my cousin came to visit from Texas. It would have been great if he hadn't groped me and whispered, "Incest isn't illegal" when he saw me. FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
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Top comments
CrassKal 27
You should just call them on that shit.
DontModMeDammit 10
That's when you leave the room.
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Comments (99)
Kinsman 5
Are you trying to say your hot?
Luluthus 41
Time to learn to confront people who ignore your boundaries, or as an alternative, learn to walk away from disgusting masturbating cousins.
imbatmanfir 15
Guys how do we know it's not a guy who wrote this while his girl cousin was doing it?
fantasyworld 39
I wouldn't talk to him again.
trey600rr 22
Next time ask if he needs your help. lmao
fmlhernebay 0
Uhm. No! Call them out on this shit!
lucasj23 11
good God. why would you just sit there?
peterblackmer91 12
Why don't you say something like stop?